• Sandra Bullock made a surprise appearance at the Spike TV Guys Choice Awards last night, picking up the Troops Choice award for Entertainer of the Year, which was voted on by members of the military. [People]

• According to TMZ, Tila Tequila is set to join the next cast of Celebrity Rehab for an unspecified addiction, though the show is having trouble attracting any other participants and may never actually air. [TMZ]

[St. Tropez, May 11. Image via AP]

• The Met Ball may be more fun than we ever imagined — most parties are after everyone is wasties! Here's Anna Wintour, almost smiling. And dancing with P. Diddy. Wait, is Katy Perry crowd-surfing or just on a table? [VillageVoice]

• Penelope Cruz is replacing Kate Winslet as the face of Lancôme's fragrance Trésor. [People]
• And Diane Kruger will be the face of a new Calvin Klein scent, Beauty. Kruger is accompanying Francisco Costa to the Met Ball, too. [WWD]

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we suffer through cuddling up to the decrepit old weekly tabloids, so you don't have to. This week: Katie Holmes is so distracted with being knocked up that Suri's going without shoes.

[Paris, March 9. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• "She's not involved in this collection," said Ungaro owner Asim Abdullah just before his show commenced this afternoon, Paris time. He was referring, of course, to "artistic adviser" Lindsay Lohan, whose future at Ungaro had long been in doubt. [WWD]

• This report claims that when Vanessa Paradis found out that her partner of 12 years, Johnny Depp, was supposed to shoot passionate love scenes with Angelina Jolie in The Tourist, she "ordered" him to quit the project.

• Is Katie Holmes being "prepared" for a second baby?

• Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis: A "very smelly couple."

Don't hate Vanessa Paradis because she's beautiful. And partners with Johnny Depp. And Chanel threw her a dinner last night for Rouge COCO at NYC's Mark Hotel with every major tastemaker. But you're allowed to hate her weird patchwork dress!

• Why mess with a good thing? Longtime Calvin Klein Jeans face Eva Mendes is back, again with model Jamie Dornan, for spring. And Calvin Klein Collection has again booked 15-year-old Polish model Monika Jagaciak for its spring ads. [WWD]

• No one saw this coming: Jon Gosselin dumped Hailey Glassman on the advice of his spiritual advisor, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. "They're taking a break," said an insider, "[Jon] decided he needed to spend some time on his own." [Extra]

• Jean-Paul Gaultier is doing a collaboration with Target that will hit stores next spring; stay tuned for pricing information and images as they inevitably leak. Please let there be lingerie-as-outerwear! [WWD]
• Agyness Deyn might star in a short film. [P6]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, have been invited to spend Christmas on Johnny Depp's private island with Depp and his wife, Vanessa Paradis. Celebrities! They're just like us...if we had an ex-boyfriend with a private island. [TheSun]

• Katie Holmes made the cover of AnOther Magazine — along with Vanessa Paradis, Kate Moss, and Natalie Portman. [DesignScene]
• Apparently, we're supposed to support Gwyneth Paltrow's absurdly high-priced clothing line for Zoetee's because the profits are for charity. [People]

Johnny Depp has his own 45-acre island in the Bahamas, called Little Hall's Pond Cay. Vanity Fair's Douglas Brinkley got to visit the plot of land Johnny calls his "decompression." "It's my way of trying to return to normalcy… Escapism is survival to me."

My sister found a bunch of old issues of InFashion magazine, a very "hip" publication we both read in the early '90s. Inside? Tyra Banks, Marcus Schenkenberg, Vanessa Paradis, Gary Dourdan, and terrible fashion: