• Suri Cruise's custom Roger Vivier flats: Cute, or creepy and decadent? "Bruno Frisoni, the creative director of the French luxury label and pal of Tom and Katie, made Suri her very own pair of iconic buckle flats (made famous by Catherine Deneuve in Belle de Jour)." Oh, and if you want your own toddler to look like a Parisian hooker? Sorry, they were a one-off. [People]
• Paris Hilton continues her career as political satirist with some advice for Sarah Palin: "You've got a hot bod; don't keep it to yourself...Why wear a pantsuit when you can wear a swimsuit? Welcome to the Lower 49, girlfriend." Or maybe that wasn't satire. [New York Post]
• Media reports that Gisele sends moola to her family in Brazil so now the fam are at risk for kidnapping. [Daily Express]
• That Van Cleef & Arpels suit against Heidi Klum's jewelry line has been dismissed. [Sassybella]

• Britney might be a surprise performer at this Diesel party in Brooklyn. Screw that! MIA will be there! [Fashionista]
• Coach's Reed Krakoff, who wrote a book about ultimate fighting, trotted out a bunch of (uncomfy) fighters to Barneys for the event. “I thought they’d just roll us in off a bus, and that we would have dinner with a bunch of suits,” said one. “I didn’t expect all this.” [WWD]
• If you don't mind imposing both puns and political endorsements on babies, you'll like this new line of Obama-wear. "Baby Needs a Change," anyone? [Utne]
• I'm guessing at this point most of us don't want to waste a mouse click on Lauren Conrad's holiday collection. [FabSugar]
• Gap and Abercrombie both down; middle-schoolers obviously hit by recession. [WSJ]
• In fact, Wal Mart's about the only one who's up. [WWD]
• Vanessa Paradis: "The red carpet is not something I really know how to work. It intimidates me. I feel very tiny...I don't have famous neighbours and if I did, I'd avoid them. I don't live the jet-set." Guess she prefers to hole up with Depp. [VogueUK]
• The blouse is back, baby. [ElleUK]
• Marc Jacobs “totally channeled" late artist Stephen Sprouse in his new collection. [Fabsugar]

• Addressing the alarming shortage of celebrity fragrances, Halle Berry, who is releasing her own, proclaims: "It’s a real, true expression of who I am — I was involved in all aspects of making it." [WWD]
• Oh, those wags at PETA! In another devastating jab at their fur-sporting nemeses, the animal rights wits have produced "Trollsen Twins" masks for us to wear on Halloween! "To complete the "Hairy Kate" and "Trashley" look, PETA recommends Starbucks, cigarettes and boho chic gear." [MollyGood]
• Hey! Wanna go to the Viktor & Rolf show? It's online! (No, you still can't afford anything.) [NY Mag]
• Kaiser Karl is coming to America! Specifically, Vermont. Quoth Lagerfeld, “I love it. It’s very much Emily Dickinson." [WWD]
• Leighton Meester "does her part to end domestic violence" by walking in a celebrity fashion show. [People]

• Irina Lazareanu, the Barbra of modeling, says she's really retiring this time. [Style.com]
• Yup, Alessandra Facchinetti's out at Valentino. [WWD]
• We're starting to feel bad for Lauren Conrad's clothing line . [Perez Hilton]
• And if LC and Heidi are too high-profile for you, perhaps you want to patronize a smaller designer, why, here's Audrina's denim line! [Perez Hilton]
• Anna Wintour: the Rasputin of the fashion world. [NY Mag]
• The CEO of Coach went all Joyce Carol Oates on us and just wrote a book about wrestling. [MediaBistro]
• Are we the only ones who think of Electra from Gypsy when we hear about all these high-tech "intelligent" clothes? This new jacket has a solar panel. Hey, you gotta have a gimmick! [Reuters]
• Possibly because of her complete blankness, Kate Moss is the most popular artist's muse of our age. [Independent]
• Kate also really likes that solid gold statue of herself. [VogueUK]
• She also doesn't wear underpants. And her hairdresser takes total credit for her style. [GraziaDaily]
• Rich people discover second-hand clothes. [LA Times]
• Uniqlo is up, at least. [WWD]
• New beauty director at Nylon, late of ElleGirl. [Fashionista]
• Vanessa Paradis on Johnny Depp: "Maybe I'm a good girlfriend because I'm his girlfriend. I'm not sure I'd be a good girlfriend to anyone else." Yeah, we're guessing we could go good for Sparrow, too. [ElleUK]

• Well, someone is looking perky at 37. But who? Dodai likes this cover but I'm against stupid masks being used to conceal the mugs of celebrities I haven't seen enough of. I feel like the last I saw Claudia Schiffer was in her exercise video. [Telegraph]
  
• Celeb stylist Phillip Bloch got a little taste of Abu Ghraib when he got thrown out of a Kanye West concert at Madison Square Garden for hanging out with a bunch of teenage girls who were smoking pot. "They never asked for ID, never asked for my name. It was complete brutality," he says. [NY Post]
  
• "Remember, when our customer tightens their belt, it's generally ostrich or alligator." That's Neiman Marcus CEO Burt Tansky, just echoing Thomas Frank's sentiments on the ruins of the "man-made catastrophe that proceeded directly from the deliberate beatdown of organized labor and the wrecking of the liberal state." [Slate]
  
• Making one's rack look and feel respectable is hard enough without forcing bras to perform additional functions like transporting wine and crap, but leave it to the Japanese to invent a solar-powered bra that can charge a cell phone. [Reuters]

• "The Tailor is designed to be a resource for the man who has a keen sense of style and takes pride in his appearance, but doesn't take himself too seriously," said Bluefly Chief Executive Melissa Payner, on their new "store-within-a-store" concept "The Tailor," which she assures visitors will find to be "authoritative, not pretentious." And yes, she is talking about a website. [Crain's]
• What magazine will snag the Project Runway partnership now that the show is moving to Lifetime and ALL OF MEDIA has been upended? Well, Lifetime is co-owned by Hearst, which owns Marie Claire, which just signed ousted ELLE editor and Project Runway judge Nina Garcia, so...I mean, they could also give it to Cosmo... [WWD]

• After much consideration I have decided that I do not care at all what the personal footwear choices of the Sex and the City stars say about their personalities. [LA Times]
  
• Speaking of Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker says that her son only wears his older cousin's hand-me-downs and has never been given new clothes, other than shoes. [US Weekly]
  
• Another day, more people fired from ELLE. This time, on the dot-com side. Maybe Nina will give them jobs over at Marie Claire? [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Rachel Zoe does not want to talk about being disinvited from the Met Costume Institute Gala thankyouverymuch. [US Weekly]
  
• In case you were wondering, Cindy Crawford will be celebrating Mother's Day with breakfast in bed. [Reuters]

• Christy Turlington, however, thinks that Mother's Day should be about activism and used as a platform for taking action against the AIDS crisis. [HuffPo]
• Hilary Duff just loves being old: "I am so excited that I'm finally at an age where they want me on the cover!" says Duff regarding her turn in Allure. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Lancome and Uma Thurman: Suing one another. Good times in the cosmetics industry. [AP]
• Chanel is opening an "ephemeral" boutique on London's Dover Street. Says Krazy Karl Lagerfeld, "The tone is at the same time post-modern and romantic. It integrates a delicate punk sophistication." [Vogue UK]
• Rachel Zoe loves expensive shit. [NYDailyNews]
• I don't care that she landed Johnny Depp, I still love Vanessa Paradis. [Sassybella]
• Camper shoes; Now for the ladies. [Times of London]
• Ginger Spice: Wears clothes from Topshop. [The Sun UK]

• OMG: Rachel Zoe has been disinvited from the Anna Wintour-hosted Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala, taking place Monday night in New York. This is what you get when you tempt the gods and proclaim yourself more important than Vogue. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Also, Wintour has instructed Vogue staffers that they may only wear white, silver, or other "pale shades." Just like the colors of faces that she likes to see on her magazine's cover! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld and designer/Chanel creative director "Krazy" Karl Lagerfeld were both named to the Time 100 List, as influential members of the fashion community. Something about the way they both made fashion about "the street" or something. [Vogue UK]
  
• Gisele Bundchen is still the top-paid model, according to Forbes. Heidi Klum is the second. Take that, Moss. [Sassybella]

• Agyness Deyn: The mannequin. [BlackBook]
• The Rogan for Target collection is also going to be sold at Barneys. Which is not Target at all. [WSJ]
• Steve & Barry's is going to be shilling Sex and the City movie merchandise, which will be licensed for the store under Sarah Jessica Parker's "Bitten" label. [Sassybella]
• Uh oh: Seems the women behind the red carpet label Marchesa are having a bit of a tiff. While Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig used to be knows as the label's "co-designers", their titles have been changed on their website: Chapman is now listed as "designer" and Craig is noted as "co-founder." [Page Six]
• Dockers: Trying to reach out to the hip and the young. LOL. [MediaPost]
• Christian Siriano: Designed a dress for Puma. [Chic Report]
• Helena Christensen on why she loves photographer Peter Lindbergh: "Even when I looked pretty funny back in the day with my baby fat, perm, and hippie clothes, he put me on the cover of British Vogue!" Oh, models. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The latest beauty tool you didn't know you needed: An eyelash comb. [BellaSugar]
• The Versace resort in Dubai is... sorta exactly what you would expect a Versace resort in Dubai to be. [Chic Report]
• Diane von Furstenberg, Dolce & Gabbana, Oscar de la Renta, Akira Isogawa, the members of Coldplay, Jeff Koons, Philippe Starck and Tory Burch have all been asked to create "themes" for iGoogle's new customized homepage thingies. [Sassybella]
• Vanessa Paradis: The new face of Miu Miu? [Glaumrama]
• Calvin Klein went on a little field trip to Dubai last week. Blah blah, models behind plexiglass. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jones New York: Stock is up, profits are down. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kohl's: Gonna slow down its expansion plan 'cause their scared of the economy. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• If you want to wear a pantsuit, make sure it's not double-breasted. [WSJ]
• Blue's Clues's: The shoes — at a Payless near you. [BrandWeek]

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

[Anaheim, California; February 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Apparently, Britney and her "friend" Sam Lutfi got in a fight last night: Photogs started snapping and she asked them to leave her alone. There's more, but let's just say that the cops were called to keep the paparazzi at bay and helicopters circled overhead. Clusterfuck. [TMZ, ONTD, Perez Hilton, Perez Hilton]
  
• Barbara Walters says she spoke with Lutfi, who told her that Britney has seen a shrink and has "mental issues which are treatable." Apparently Britney has mood swings and insomnia as well. [USA Today]
  
• No surprise here: sources interviewed in a profile of Britney in Blender paint a picture of a woman who has been used and lied to most of her life. Eric Foster White, who co-wrote six songs on her first album, says, "You have to understand that there's nobody in the equation who stood to benefit by giving it to her straight." [MSNBC]

• Oh, and Britney is allowed to have telephone contact with her kids, as per the hearing last week. Still no physical contact, though. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Zoey 101, the hit show of which Jamie Lynn Spears is the star, has returned for another season; the episodes were filmed before JLS became pregnant. This fourth season was always meant to be the last. [USA Today]
• Lindsay Lohan took at least one swig of vodka when she was out partying with Brody Jenner, Samantha Ronson and Stavros on Friday night. Rehab shmehab. [Page Six]
• By the by, since Brody Jenner has a girlfriend, a model named Cora Skinner, he denies hooking up with Lindsay and has issued a statement: "We were hanging out as friends and nothing happened," Jenner said. "We weren't 'all over' each other, and we definitely weren't making out. I am dating and really happy with Cora." OK, awesome, thanks. [Rush & Molloy]
• Filming of Michelle Williams' new movie, Blue Valentine, which also starts Ryan Gosling, has been put on hold while she mourns the death of Heath Ledger. [People]
• Nigella Lawson, who shares a £100 million fortune with her husband, Charles Saatchi, doesn't want to leave her children any money. She believes that kids should make their own loot: "I am determined that my children should have no financial security. It ruins people not having to earn money." She has a point but damn that's cold. [Telegraph]
• Vanessa Paradis bombed at a music awards show in France? Eh, who cares, she's got Johnny Depp. [Perez Hilton]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson earned a perfect score on his citizenship test and the Scottish-born funnyman will be sworn in a few weeks from now. Congrats! [USA Today]
• Despite the writers' strike, the Grammys will happen! The WGA and the Recording Academy made an agreement; the ceremony will be February 10. Now if Amy Winehouse can just get her shit together... [Yahoo News]
• Blind item! "Which reality-show clogged network had to change its casting procedures after a racist internal policy was leaked? Producers had an informal ban on considering cast members who were 'too black.' They claimed it was because darker skin tones were hard to pick up on camera." [Gatecrasher]
• Oooh, actress Sean Young caused a boozy ruckus at the Directors Guild of America party? Sounds fun. [Page Six]
• Tracy Morgan: Seen shirtless and dancing on a banquette while asking a waitress if he could father her baby. You know, the usual. [Page Six]
• Kathy Griffin: double-banned from The View? Guess Barbara doesn't like being made fun of. [Page Six]
• A year after their breakup, Kylie Minogue had a rendez-vous with ex Olivier Martinez — and his dog. She's said his dog "was the love of my life" and was important to her recovery from cancer. Aw, happiness is a warm puppy. [Daily Mail]

• Okay, get ready for this: The UK'sNews Of The World alleges that, the night she ended up in the hospital, Britney Spears took 10 sleeping pills, 12 Vicodins, six Ritalins and 10 Zantacs — and washed them all down with her "purple drank", i.e. vodka, NyQuil and Red Bull. She also supposedly phoned her sister and shouted, "You're not going to be the only fucking Spears on the front cover of a magazine next week!" As for reports that Brit will be on Dr. Phil, a source says, "Based on the interaction between Dr. Phil and Britney . . . it'll be a cold day in hell before Britney goes on his show." [New York Post]
  
• Doctors at Cedars-Sinai hospital are pissed that Dr. Phil visited Britney in the first place — the patient has to give consent for stuff like that and it was a violation of her rights. [TMZ]
  
• Dr. Phil says he went to see Britney at the request of one Lynne Spears, her mother. [TMZ]

• Wait, what? A "reliable source" says Britney tested free of illegal drugs and alcohol while in Cedars-Sinai. Well Vicodin isn't illegal, right? Anyway, she might have seemed drugged but actually just has undiagnosed bipolar disorder, says an insider. [People]
• In any case, over the weekend, Britney went to Palm Desert with her new "friend," paparazzo Adnan Ghalib. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kevin Federline — who has sole legal and physical custody of the kids now — is in "lockdown mode" and just keeping his ass at home. Smart kid. [People]
• Britney's father "broke down" and was in tears after she was discharged from the hospital. [People]
• Also, despite reports to the contrary, Britney did not have a gun in the house when she held her children hostage. [Perez Hilton]
• Is Nicole Kidman knocked up? Signs point to maybe. [Page Six]
• Author Andrew Morton's new book alleges that Tom Cruise is the number-two guy at the Church of Scientology and that frozen sperm was used to spawn Suri, who has L. Ron Hubbard as her real baby-daddy. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Also, Scientologists threatened to blackmail Nicole Kidman if she said anything bad about the religion, Morton's book claims. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Singer Norah Jones and live-in love Lee Alexander (bassist in her band) have broken up. We know where to find some sad songs for them to listen to. [Page Six]
• An insider says that Paul McCartney's secret heart surgery was one of the reasons he and Heather Mills split: She was focused on him and he wasn't taking care of himself. Yawn. [Page Six]
• Because of the writers' strike, no one seems to know what the hell is going on with the Golden Globes... and it's happening Sunday. [Gatecrasher]
• In fact, NBC may not even televise the Golden Globes. Which might help, since the WGA says guild members would not picket if the event wasn't televised. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which highbrow talk show host telephoned a female massage therapist from the Pierre hotel last week and requested she perform intimate acts with his lady-friend, while he watched? Sadly, the answer was 'No.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Mick Jagger gathered almost all seven of his offspring for the holidays... Only Jade and Elizabeth didn't join him on Mustique — they're not fans of his current girlfriend, L'Wren Scott. [Rush & Molloy]
• Producers of The Hills convinced JustinBobby to play Audrina's boyfriend by paying him as a cast member. Romantic! [Rush & Molloy]
• Lily Allen: "I get upset about illiterate young people. Someone texted me in fuckin text speak without any vowels, so I replied just in vowels." [Mirror]
• Funnyman Jack Black's wife is expecting a second child! Doesn't he seem like a fun dad? [Breitbart]
• Reese Witherspoon was number one in a survey of most-liked celebs; Jennifer Aniston was number two. This country is kind of weird. [Reuters]
• Just like her ex, Riley Giles, an Italian waiter has also sold his Lindsay Lohan story to the News Of The World. Alessandro di Nunzio says LL was "extremely flexible and adventurous" in the bedroom and her panties and bra did not match. Alessandro was "hurt and sad" when he found out that LL was also seeing two other dudes while in Italy, but we suspect cash he got from the UK tab should ease his pain. [MSNBC]
• Madonna: Still in India, doing stuff like singing karaoke with the Maharaja of Jodhpur. [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's Aunt says her brother, Charlize's father, was "mildmannered" and never would have attacked his wife or daughter. She has doubts about what really happened 16 years ago when Charlize'smother shot her father. [Daily Mail]
• Vanessa Paradis says she is "not proud" of her past as teen pop star — her song, "Joe le Taxi" was No. 1 in France for 14 weeks in 1987. Have you seen the video? She was cute! [Independent]

[Paris, November 26. Images via Splash.]