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It's A Paris-Free Zone For The Tabloids, Which Can Only Mean One Thing For Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt...

Welcome to Midweek Madness, our weekly binge on the sort of celebrity content we usually try so fastidiously to avoid every other day of the week. In which we "read" the Wednesday tabs. So you don't "have" to.

This week — in part to protest the media dominance of properties in the ongoing saga that is the life of a…