• How do we feel about the fact that Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character for an '80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night? [Page Six]

• ANTM winner Nicole Fox had a "secret" meeting with Robert Pattinson… meaning, she ran into him backstage at Regis & Kelly. She says: "I was backstage going to the bathroom-in a bathroom I probably wasn't supposed to be using. But when I came out, [Pattinson] was in the hallway, like two feet away from me, [just] standing there. He was surrounded by his throng of people. And so I didn't want to feel like a dorky fangirl. I just looked down at my shoes and walked away." Of course Nicole admits: "I haven't seen the Twilight movies… Perhaps I will begin to watch [them] now that I saw him in real life." [E!]
• Madonna visited a "lawless favela" in Rio — and wore a bullet-proof vest under her leather jacket. Doesn't she know that music makes the people come together? Doesn't she know that music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's guard dog, Floyd, attacked a flight attendant on a private jet; and an animal behaviorist says the German Shepherd is a menace who needed counseling. [NY Daily News]
• Monday is the series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and in the ep, the two "continue to make the transition into single parenthood." Kate takes the kids to milk a cow; Jon takes them to a fire station. [NY Daily News]
• MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett suggests that this Thanksgiving, we should be grateful for the end of Jon & Kate. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says while the director is imprisoned in Switzerland, his wife and two children are "very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak" for them. [MSNBC via AP]
• Tila Tequila says her naked Ustream rant — which has since been removed from the interwebs — was caused by "flashbacks" and "pressure" related to her allegedly violent incident with her ex, Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is set to do some songs at this year's Royal Variety Performance — which is attended by the Queen. This column questions whether she will actually pretended to stab herself to death while playing the piano and then hang from the ceiling, covered in blood — when the Queen is watching. [Daily Mail]
• Remember when hip-hop had beef? Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z are bringing it back. [Gatecrasher]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens — known in the tween mags as Zanessa — have not broken up, despite rumors. Things are going well, they are rich and young and sexy and happy, etc, etc, etc. [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Kate Major's lawsuit is a joke. Finally we agree on something! [Radar Online]
• Audrina Patridge from The Hills and Mark Sallin, aka Puck from Glee: Spotted flirting and leaving a party together. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Amber Rose spotted without Kanye. [Page Six]
• Kathy Hilton has been in touch with the Jacksons and says that Paris, Prince and Blanket are "wonderful" and their "grandmother is incredible" and they "could not be in better hands." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate testified yesterday, saying that she was living in a West Virginia motel around the time a police chief allegedly broke into her home in Ohio. [NY Post]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, went to Turkey last year with daughter Princess Eugenie to investigate the treatment of mentally and physically disabled children in orphanages. The Duchess wore a dark wig and headscarf and posed as an aid worker to get the story for a TV exposé; now she's been served papers and may have to stand trial in Turkey — she's is accused of breaking laws that ban secret filming and trespassing on government property in the country. [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks had an appendectomy yesterday. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver believes that the James Cameron film Avatar will make all the money back, because people will see it several times. She also says Cameron was "always sweet" to her during Aliens. [NY Mag]
• The Jonas Brothers are promoting Xbox 360 with Jonas-centric ads. [NY Times]
• "Do lesbians rule Hollywood? Ask Jane Lynch." [Guardian]
• This video of Hayden Panettiere is bukkake/facial-esque. [The Life Files]
• Ruh-roh: Eddie Cibrian is suing Life & Style, because the mag published stories which allegedly "falsely portray Eddie as being unfaithful to LeAnn Rimes, as currently being in a romantic relationship with [some other woman] and as having abandoned his children." Can they get out of the lawsuit if, at the end of each story, the copy reads, "Aoccirding to a source"? [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost is publishing her autobiography, which will probably have details about her BFF Kate Moss, the catty fashion world, and ex husband Jude Law. [Daily Express]
• When Jamie Cullum said that girlfriend Sophie Dahl "has a face for radio," he was probably joking. [Daily Express]
• Uma Thurman will play Robert Pattinson's wife in a film called Bel Ami, based on a Guy de Maupassant's short story. [The Hollywood Reported]
• James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of six years. [USA Today]
• James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years. [USA Today]
• At the link, Freddie Mercury's mother talks about her son eighteen years after his death. [BBC News]
• "I think probably the first thing that was an incredible hurdle was that I wasn't going to be able to do this privately like most people, and that took a really long time to get over." — Chaz Bono, on the hardest part of his sex change. [People]
• "She sent me sexy pictures of herself in a bikini and stuff, but nothing worse than the stuff you find now by just Googling her name." — one of Carrie Prejean's ex boyfriends — and not the one she sent the "solo sex tape" to. [E!]
• "It was scary, but it was so much fun. It was great seeing that we were all feeling the same way. There was a great support system on that set, all the actors with each other and with Rob [Marshall]. I had danced classical ballet before, so this was very different from what I had studied. We had a room in our building and we were all taking different classes. We would all pass each other in the hallway. All day, training. We all felt so free and so happy. Music was so present everywhere. That elevates people, music. It was so addictive, that experience." — Penelope Cruz on the six-week rehearsal period she, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard had for Nine, in which they took dancing and singing lessons. [USA Today]
• "What people don't realize is, I am managing my image, more than maybe the editor of OUT magazine likes to give anybody credit for. My team is a team. And I really feel fortunate that 19 Management and Simon Fuller said to me, from the get-go, 'We want to do what you want to do. You need to tell us how you want to do things, what interests you have,' and they've been incredibly supportive of me. I really mean it. I'm not being puppeted around. I didn't want to jump onto a gay magazine as my first thing, because I feel like that's putting myself in a box and limiting myself. It was my desire to stay away from talking about certain political and civil rights issues because I'm not a politician. I'm an entertainer. That is not my area of expertise. I can talk about relationships and personal experiences because as an artist those things involve writing lyrics and that part of my process. But I didn't feel comfortable talking about the March on Washington. I didn't feel comfortable, so I asked my publicist to ask the interviewer to stay away from the political questions. I take full responsibility for that. I think that the editor has his agenda and has his opinions, which I respect, but they're not necessarily my opinions. And I wish there was a little respect for that. Not every gay man is the same gay man." — Adam Lambert. [EW]
• "I've never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it's all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it's more willing to stay that way. That's Zac's hair tip." — Zac Efron. [Time]
• "[When I was younger] I wasn't confident in my sexuality but I had these thoughts, these desires and these passions inside me. I never knew how to exorcise them until probably the first time I had sex, and it was a great experience. I felt like, why should I be so hindered about this? [I thought about porn] …I thought, why should sex have to be dirty or scary? And if it is, why can't you turn that into a positive thing and work through that sensually and find something good out of that, something pleasurable." — Sasha Grey. [Telegraph]
• "I would not say that I lost faith in Twitter, I would say that I lost faith in my ability to negotiate it. I don't know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining. Their resentment, their desire to be heard at the most vituperative level, at the most unpleasant and malevolent, genuinely ill-willed malevolent, level is terrifying and I am very often simply not able to cope with that. Twitter is usually not like that... [but] I found that the @ mentions were just getting... I could see these comments that would just make me upset." — Stephen Fry. [Guardian]
• "I've had some bad moments where I've woken up under a car with the engine still running." — Zach Galifianakis. [Page Six]
• "She wears really, really attractive underwear." — Bono on his wife. Well, not on. But maybe. [Gatecrasher]
• "They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy." — Tina Fey. [Page Six]

The first thing we thought when we saw Vanessa Hudgens on the cover was "her?" which, as it turns out, is appropriate, because the only entertaining part of the magazine was a brief interview with Alia Shawkat about Whip It, her first major role since Arrested Development (Fig. 1). Plus, at this point in her career, Hudgens may be wishing she was a "never nude." The High School Musical star is now 20, which means it's time for her to reject her squeaky-clean Disney image and transition into adult roles. Usually this is accomplished with a few women's magazine covers and maybe a racy Maxim shoot, but Hudgens has already been involved in a nude photo scandal. Thus, throughout her Allure interview Hudgens references various Disney princess movies and emphasizes that she's still sweet and "naive."

The rest of the magazine seems to feature even more ads than usual, but that's probably because the article on scientific beauty breakthroughs sounds like it was copied off the back of a shampoo bottle. As usual, to make sure those jars of anti-aging creams and gels (which Allure's own editor admits are pretty useless) really fly off the shelves, the magazine resorts to scare tactics. This month's aging horror story concerns identical twins who "look years apart." Though it looks like one twin was photographed in bad lighting, in most cases the magazine claims one twin's face looks worse than her sister's because she's overweight. While Catherine Deneuve is quoted as saying "after a certain age, a woman needs to choose between her face and her behind," the article explains that:

For women under 40 the effect turns out to be just the opposite: Extra pounds can obscure youthful features like a smooth jawline and cause facial features to sag.

By that logic, wouldn't the best anti-aging strategy be to stay slim until you hit 40 then start packing on the pounds? We're not sure why Allure's editors seem to think there's some scenario in which our faces aren't going to age in the next 60 years (or why that's so terrible). Another mystery: How did Allure find the sets of twins for this story? Who would call up their twin sister and say, "I know we're the exact same age, but I think you look much older than me. Want to be photographed for Allure?"

(Click the image below to make it larger.)

Fig. 1

Earlier: Allure Editor Defends Pushing Beauty Products That Don't Work

• Mickey Rourke, at Max Azria: "I really don't like Max that much. He's a short little guy with a good looking wife. Maybe I'll steal his wife." [WSJ]
• Tom Ford to close-talking columnist: "Are you trying to smell me?" [NationalPost]

• If you care about who People thinks is the best-dressed, their annual list is out. Kate Winslet, Reese Witherspoon, Vanessa Hudgens, and Freida Pinto all made the cut; on the men's side, so did Brad Pitt, Robert Pattinson, and Bradley Cooper. [People]
• Audrey Tautou, currently playing Coco Chanel across multiple platforms, has a print ad for Chanel No. 5 out. [People]
• Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz is to address the UNESCO World Forum on Culture and Cultural Industries in Italy next week. [WWD]
• Lauren Conrad presents her fall collection for Kohl's in this video. It's very cute how she pretends to have seen it before. [People]
• Avril Lavigne presented her collection for Kohl's in New York City on Monday night. It includes a hoodie with earbuds in the drawstring. We must have missed this one for the Snuggie show. [People]
• Ralph Lifshitz and Calvin Klein grew up in the same part of the same neighborhood of the Bronx, Norwood's Mosholu Parkway, and both attended Public School 80, four years apart. Former Bronx borough president Fernando Ferrer says, "These are working-class guys — they were neither poor nor wealthy, and it's interesting that their clothes are aspirational. Ralph Lauren designs preppy, polo type clothes. That wasn't his experience then. So does Calvin Klein — elegance, simplicity." [Cityroom]
• Anya Hindmarch believes in "speaking up for bespoke" objects in a time of mass-production. Naturally, she also believes in charging £500 for a wallet. [ToL]
• Meanwhile, for the rest of us, Zara has plans to start selling its clothes online. [FT]
• Georgia May Jagger: "I really don't get it, to be perfectly honest. I still don't have that firm a grasp on why me being my parents' daughter is so interesting." Being your parents' daughter is the only reason you have a career, dear! [Style.com]
• It's certainly the only reason Vanity Fair is talking to her. "Modeling is always something I've really admired because I've seen my mum and sister do it," says Jagger. [VF]
• David Lauren: "We created the first 24-hour shopping experience on the windows of our mansion on 72nd St. You can literally walk up to the glass, press on the glass, and shop the product that's in the store. You can touch your credit card to the glass and buy it." [The Cut]
• Will lazy writers ever abandon the canard that Lara Stone — a model with stated measurements of 33"-24"-35", entirely within the tiny range of straight-size modeling — is somehow "curvy" or represents "change" on the catwalk? Stone — who is incredibly good at what she does, and well established in the business because of it — has not been "opening everyone's shows." In fact she has yet to be spotted anywhere in the lineup at a single show this season. [Telegraph]
• Halston, that long-rudderless brand, had a spring presentation that was a bit of a train wreck. The clothes looked very similar to each other, and the mannequins were weird. [WSJ]
• Barneys New York has now operated for 14 months without a C.E.O. Wracked by debt, the retailer is the subject of rumors alleging its inability to even pay its invoices. The head of Istithmar, the investment fund that owns Barneys, says "We have stood by Barneys and will continue to stand by this company." Words you never want to have to hear from a C.E.O. [WWD]
• Nina Garcia's third book about personal style is naturally all about the recessionista, not the fashionista. [Reuters]
• According to an online survey of 61,000 teens, teenagers are spending less money, because their parents are giving them less money, because their parents have less money. Thanks for getting to the bottom of this important recession conundrum, social networking site Habbo Hotel. [Reuters]

The rumor, of course, was sparked by an offhand quote Hudgens made to the News Of The World, of all places, stating that she and Efron "haven't set a date and if we did we'd keep it secret for as long as possible. Why? What if one of us was offered a major film part? Then we'd have to postpone our marriage and people would say we'd split up. And we don't want that," which is the vaguest "yes, we're getting married" statement of all time. Remember when you were so in love with your boyfriend when you were 15, and you were totally sure you'd get married "someday?" It's kind of like that.

Interestingly enough, there have not been any statements from the reps of either actor: this is possibly because Hudgens has a film that opens this weekend, and a little extra buzz on the gossip sites, based on a vague quote from a British tabloid, probably never hurt anybody. If the High School Musical kids were really getting married, I'm pretty sure they'd have done a better job announcing it, complete with a "YES! WE'RE ENGAGED!" cover of People magazine, a morning show whirlwind tour, and a tie-in with Kleenex, to help ease the mourning of tweens everywhere.

Or perhaps these two really are getting married, and the kids just don't care anymore. Singing and dancing can't quite compete with vampires, werewolves, and sparkly dreams comes true.

Zac & Vanessa To Wed [News Of The World]

• Forbes has released the top-earning celebrities over 50, and Oprah is at number one! To put things in perspective, Forbes' Lauren Streib writes:

"Her earnings power is equal to that of the creator of Star Wars and the Material Girl, combined." [Forbes]

• Oprah's O magazine has a power list — with a twist. For example: Venus Williams has "The Power Of Female Strength"; Donna Brazile has "The Power Of Ambition"; Sarah Silverman has "The Power Of Transgression." [Newser]
• Gwyneth Paltrow smells like moth balls. [PopCrunch]
• Michael Phelps was in a three-car accident in Baltimore last night, but he was not injured. A woman in another car was taken to the hospital with head and arm pain. Alcohol was not involved. [TMZ]
• VOM: Heidi Montag says she has 20 to 30 orgasms a day with Spencer Pratt, and claims: "I was never very sexual before I met Spencer. Sex was just something that happened. Now it's something I look forward to every minute of the day… it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways — indoors, outdoors, upside down." [Page Six]
• Wait, what?!?! "Amy Winehouse has set up a Facebook profile pretending to be her cat as a way of keeping in secret contact with Blake Fielder-Civil… She has created a profile for her pet pussy Shirley and is using it to post messages to Blake at his remote Yorkshire rehab centre." [The Sun]
• "Not only have Jon and Kate Gosselin lost their marriage, they've lost about 7 million viewers since the reality show couple announced their split." [MSNBC]
• Mischa Barton showed up for work with wet hair and a cigarette dangling from her lips, and this paper calls her "messed," "pale and haggard." [NY Post]
• Mariah Carey has pulled out of an appearance on VH1 Storytellers and a concert on the Today show and gone back in the studio as her album has been delayed again. Is she all shook up by Eminem's dis track? [Reuters]
• Sherri Shepherd tried to help Andy Dick find God. "[Andy] said, 'Sherri, can God love someone like me? He needs me, too, Sherri. You ain't the only one who needs a parking space.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Scarlett Johannsson is Brigitte Bardot-inspired in Pete Yorn's new video, and I have three letters for the whole thing: Zzz. [Gatecrasher, JustJared]
• New Moon swoon! Twihards and Team Jacob/Buff Werewolf fans: Video of Taylor Lautner wrestling with Kristen Stewart at the link. [EW]
• Kristen Stewart on Taylor Lautner: "I love that kid. I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [NY Daily News]
• TMZ has obtained the search warrant used to raid the pharmacy where Dr. Conrad Murray purchased the Propofol that killed Michael Jackson. They're calling it the smoking gun. [TMZ]
• TMZ actually called the manufacturer of Propofol to see what they knew about the case? [TMZ]
• Dr. Conrad Murray says he didn't know about Michael Jackson's "very unusual problems" when he agreed to be his personal doctor, and didn't know what drugs MJ was taking when he accepted the job. [TMZ]
• LaToya Jackson has something to say: "I've been approached to do Dancing With the Stars. The fact of the matter is, I won't be doing it, simply because of the circumstances that [are] going on at the moment. I can't see myself putting myself into there right now, dancing every single day when I'm still trying to find out what exactly happened to my brother." [Access Hollywood]
• LaToya was interviewed while working at AIDS Project Los Angeles, a charity Michael Jackson often helped. She says: "We're doing the best that we can. Everyone has just been going through what they're going through at the moment. It's a very trying time for all of us." [E!]
• Scott Disick is the one who got Kourtney Kardashian pregnant, but you knew that, right? [E!, Page Six]
• Today in bizarre celebrity feuds: Courtney Love vs. The Veronicas. She thinks they stole her clothes; they're calling her a "twat" and "delusional." [Perez]
• For some reason Vanessa Hudgens has haters? But her Bandslam costars say "She's such a sweet person, such a nice girl." So. [E!]
• Whoa: Kate Winslet will star in Mildred Pierce, a miniseries project (possibly for HBO). The 1945 film of the same name won the incomparable Joan Crawford (and her eyebrows) an Oscar. [Variety]
• Aerosmith has canceled its summer tour "with great regret" after frontman Steven Tyler fell from the stage. Quoth he: "I just want to say that I' m plain grateful that I didn't break my neck. In truth, after thousands of live shows, falling off the edge four times ain't too bad." [AP]
• Christie's will conduct a London auction of art and furniture belonging to the late Indian-born film producer Ismail Merchant in October. Merchant, along with James Ivory, made over 40 films including A Room With a View, Howards End and The Remains of the Day. [Reuters]
• Jonathan Demme has walked away from directing a documentary about Bob Marley; last May, Martin Scorsese dropped out of the project. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which recently single celeb wasn't so faithful to her last boyfriend? She'd been sleeping with a big-name hip-hop artist for the last four months of her relationship." [Gatecrasher]
• "It would've been smart to take some time off too, but I'm really glad I did Runaways. If it was Twilight all the time, I would go mad. To just play one character for four years, it's not what I do. I like to have variation. I like to change it up. To live one experience, it would be like I have this weird alter-ego, alternate life, instead of slipping into a character for 6 weeks, sucking it dry, and leaving. It would be like 4 years of living like a fucking psycho person, thinking that I'm like Bella. You know what I mean? It would just be impossible for me. The tabloids would have a lot of crazy shit to say about me in that case." — Kristen Stewart. [EW]
• "[I wasn't] one of the industry kids who they groom on the fucking Disney channel and who do what they are told. [Being a star was like] being strapped to a rocket ship. But some of us weren't built for speed. I was almost overwhelmed by it all. I had this house — not a giant house, but three or four nice rooms, and a jukebox. And it had this laundry room, and I would sit in there with an ashtray that I trusted. It was like the world couldn't get me in the laundry room." — Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder. [Guardian]
• "I was doing the Tyler shuffle and then I zigged when I should have zagged ... and I slipped, and as I live on the edge ... I fell off the edge!" — Steven Tyler, on his accident hat left him with a broken left shoulder and 20 stitches on the back of his head. [People]
• "It's remarkable what a new kidney does to your life. I have no complaints…I'm pretty amazed. I have been working on my stamina." — Natalie Cole, who would love to meet her donor, saying, "I would probably kiss them all over the place." [People]
• "I get a lot of e-mails and photos of people that are dressing like [Don Draper]. That was pretty strange. People will say to me, ‘Oh, I just saw you in a mall.' I guess it's pretty easy. Slick your hair back, put a nice suit on, and you're ready to go." — Jon Hamm. [WWD]

Britney Spears wants you to know she's in shape. And, apparently, that she has the same stylist. Noted!


Jesus Christ, I hope Kristen Stewart doesn't try to sit in this skirt; it'll draw blood - and we all know what happens then...!


That's quite a dress Vanessa Hudgens is almost wearing! Well, the belt's confusing.


Zac Efron takes teen Ken to the next level! I'm blinded!


Alexis Bledel is, it's true, one of my favorite people in the world (for inexplicable reasons) but come on, this is objectively awesome, right? (Right?)


I think Emma Roberts is an unheralded burgeoning fashionista with a rare ability, at a young age, to pull off things she has no business pulling off! And always still looking demure.


Chace Crawford: getting in character for a Witness remake?


Ok, so maybe the onesie trend is in its last gasp, but Kristen Bell looks darling, huh?


Well, hello, cutie! Lucas Till is so the high school heartthrob!


This makes me wonder if Abigail Breslin is going through the obligatory Middle School Summer of Love phase.


This is not the first time I've questioned the workings of Fergie's mind. Just because you can pull something off...should you?


Don't the Jonas Brothers look like a doo-wop group? Maybe this is appropriate.


Miss J is ready for a fierce tennis tourney; which doesn't explain why the hell he's wearing it here.


Miley Cyrus is apparently not feeling the pressure to look demure; guess that storm's blown over!


Leighton Meester continues to take fashion risks - and they're paying off!


Lil Mama, in her way, never disappoints.


Jordin Sparks: blue lagoon. No, I don't know what that means.

[Images via Getty]

• Victoria Beckham had her first day on the set of American Idol on Friday and a source says: "It didn't go well." Why ever not?

"She tried to hard to be 'nice,' but came off as icy and wooden," a source revealed. Plus: Contestants were disappointed not to see Paula on the panel. [Radar Online]

• Before she started judging, Victoria Beckham told Ryan Seacrest: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow, but I don't know if I can - I'm just so happy." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ABC has reached out to Paula Abdul about joining Dancing With The Stars. as a judge or a contestant. [Variety]
• Olivia Newton-John's former boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, presumed dead since 2005, is alive in Mexico and wishes to be left alone. He reportedly owes back child support to his ex-wife, which may be one of the reasons he disappeared. [Daily Mail]
• Behold: A picture of Real Housewives Kim Zolciak with her "Big Poppa." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin will sit down for an interview with E!, and react to whatever Kate Gosselin says on the Today show today. So there's a Jon special on E! tonight — and tomorrow night, a full interview. [E!]
• Kate Major continues to attempt to be relevant. [E!]
• Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan got into a screaming match backstage at MTV on Thursday: Kattan said "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?" and Piven said Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" Tempers flared. Doors slammed. Obscenities were yelled. Funny dudes can't take jokes? [Gatecrasher]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted at a Bobby Long concert in L.A. on Thursday night. Because their love is destiny, people! And what is a sparkle vamp without a ladylove? According to this report: "After the show, a cab spirited them off into the night." [ET]
• "Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart heat up with low-key date nights and hotel sleepovers." [NY Daily News]
• Pattinson had a low-key night out… not in a Manhattan hot spot. On Long Island. [Page Six]
• A man accused of sending death threats to Beyoncé and Jay-Z will have to undergo a mental evaluation, duh. [Daily Express]
• "America's other first couple: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are black America's second most famous couple: young, rich and with a direct line to the White House." [Times Of London]
• Is Guy Ritchie dating Iron Man actress Mellany Gandara? [Daily Express]
• Katherine Jackson's lawyer L. Londell McMillan says: "She's got her grandchildren, they're set. She's starting to rock and roll. She's getting her grandma swagger back. But she has been busy trying to make sure that these children will be provided for." [People]
• Mark Lester, who was in the 1968 film Oliver!, and is the godfather of Michael Jackson's kids, says he could be the biological father of Paris Jackson. This paper puts a picture of Paris side by side with a picture of Lester's daughter and survey says: Probably not. But does Paris have long ears like Arnold Klein? [Daily Mail]
• "Longtime Michael Jackson friend Mark Lester is not the father of Jackson's daughter, nor is he claiming paternity, despite a tabloid report indicating Lester says he's Paris Jackson's biological dad, sources tell People." [People]
• A source says that Michael Jackson was super excited about his upcoming tour. "He even said to me on several occasions, 'I am going to give everything I have. He even said, I'll die on the stage if I have to. It gives me the chills thinking about it now." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's body was finally buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills. No ceremony, no fans. The exact location is a secret. [Mirror]
• Presented without comment: "A doctor has revealed how he prescribed Michael Jackson a 'chemical castration' drug to suppress his sexual urges towards under-age boys." [Mirror]
• ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Katherine Heigl's latest anti-Grey's Anatomy tirade: "People will behave in a way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work unbelievably hard on Grey's… so I think it's really hard for them to hear [her complain about working a 17-hour day]." [EW]
• Jenna Fischer says: "I always see these tabloid reports about certain people being 'Spotted Without Their Wedding Ring!' like it's some big deal… [I don't wear my ring because I] would have to take it off and leave it in my trailer, which I would never do. They aren't that secure. Break-ins happen all the time. So if I go someplace after work I could be 'spotted' without my ring. It means nothing." [People]
• How did Ashlee Simpson lose her "baby weight"? Luck. "After I had Bronx I lucked out. I mean, I'm 24 years old. I have the genes from my mother and I did work out for three months." [The Sun]
• "A Night Out With Holly Madison" reveals that she calls a vodka and water "The Skinny Bitch," and later announces: "Chicken fingers are seriously, like, my favorite food." [NY Times]
• Kelsey Grammer says the cancellation of his TV series Back To You may have contributed to his heart attack in 2008. "When they examined my arteries, there was no blocked arteries. I had no cholesterol buildup. I had an event that they think was stress-related." [UPI]
• Madonna's boyfriend, model Jesus Luz, would like to be a DJ. [Page Six]
• Just a reminder: Vanessa Hudgens plays Sa5m in Bandslam, but the 5 is silent. Her character "is an emo girl who speaks slowly because of a stutter, resembles Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and is ostensibly the female lead, Ms. Hudgens argues to the contrary." [NY Times]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Broken up. They will "remain friends." [UPI]
• Tracy Morgan and his wife Sabina have been married for 23 years, but reportedly spent the last eight living apart. Morgan has decided to file for divorce, maybe because he took some cornbread behind a middle school and got it pregnant. [TMZ]
• Lady GaGa says she wore that Kermit coat as a statement: "I thought it was [a] commentary on not wearing fur, 'cause I hate fur and I don't wear fur." Naturally, now PETA would like for her to pose nude in an ad campaign. [TMZ]
• Cheech Marin married longtime girlfriend Natasha Rubin over the weekned. [People]
• If you do nothing else today, for the love of Kirk, read this William Shatner interview. It's crazyinsane. A snippet: So what is your relationship with Conan really like when the cameras are off? "It's great, he folds me into his arms and I come up to his belly button. So I suckle on his belly button and he holds me close." [Time]
• Just what your Monday morning needs: An anecdote about Mick Jagger's penis. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname says Whatshername is disgusting because she let her four-year-old son see her in bed with her new lover. [The Sun]
• "Because I'm pretty everybody thinks I'm stupid. But you don't have to play a victim. You have to show who you are to make the others come to discover you." — Monica Bellucci. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I don't sit there and think 'well I did Confessions of a Shopaholic and now I've got to go out and do Chekhov.' If the next one that comes along happens to be another romantic comedy and I find something in it that appeals to me then great. I operate on almost no system at all." — Hugh Dancy. [Independent]
• "I had a conversation with one of the scientists, and I was saying how I interviewed some [little] kids. I asked him what his opinion was, because I was like, 'Oh, it's really sweet, their idea of love is so pure.' And he was like, 'They don't really understand what love is because they haven't got their hormones and they haven't had sex and they haven't had that many relationships.' And I'm like, it doesn't mean that you can't experience love. Just the fact that you've been in one relationship doesn't devalue how you feel about someone. One of the couples in the film met when they were fourteen and their parents were like, 'That's puppy love.' They ended up being together for over fifty years. So I think people are biased against age." — Charlyne Yi. [Nerve]
• "She knew that I wanted to paint and make music. Eventually she said: ‘do it!' She encouraged me to go forward without fear . So it's all thanks to my wife, who knew that I had done a lot of acting over the years and suggested maybe it was time to start doing something else." — Anthony Hopkins, who has an exhibition of his paintings in Tuscany and also composes orchestral work. [Daily Express]
• Q. Does it feel odd to be putting young designers out in the world when the fashion world is in extreme crisis? A. "I think that everything is kind of in crisis. But what are you going to do? Is everyone going to stop working? I think the best will always succeed in any world. The people who are working hard, I think they will stay out there. In terms of fashion, maybe there are things that are more needed than other things — and the things that people cannot afford, maybe those things will go. But I don't think people should stop their dreams. A lot of our designers, people who have been on in the past, not everyone is self-employed. I think the only one who has become successful is Christian [Siriano] — on their own. I think the others are also successful, not as their own brand. Which I think is also success! They are working under good design houses. Or selling on HSN or Shopping Network." — Heidi Klum, on Project Runway. [LA Times]
• "I grew up on a red dirt road with a tree growing right in the middle of it. We didn't have much, but it never occurred to me that if you wanted to do something you couldn't do it. You can do anything if you try… I came here with a curling iron, two boxes of clothes and $200 in savings." — Nancy Grace. [USA Today]
• "I walk around and don't understand why more people are not smiling, enjoying the day, why they give me stink-eye. I guess being happy must not agree with them. I do not say I am always happy, but I do strive to be cheery." — Amy Adams. [Times Of London]
• "About 50 percent [of Paper Heart is fiction]. Everything with the interview subjects is real, but the plot with Michael Cera is fiction… But I honestly was kind of questioning the idea of love. I'd dropped out of college and I'd just been doing comedy, and I'm kind of like an old lady — when I was 10 I learned how to knit — so, most of my friends would go to clubs [to meet people], but I don't go to clubs or bars because I don't drink. So there was this fear of, how would I meet someone my own age? It's not that I doubted other people's love. It was just about my own concern of whether it could happen to me." — Charlyne Yi [WaPo]
• "You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can't live without it? That's what it's like for me with her" — Ashton Kutcher on his love for Demi Moore to Gotham magazine. [Page Six]
• "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." — Bethenny Frankel. [Gatecrasher]

• A London man found the album from Amy Winehouse's wedding to Blake Fielder-Civil in a dumpster with some photos torn out and Amy's beehive colored in.

• The man said, "I don't know if Amy threw the album away or her ex (did), but my wife said that's what she would do if we ever divorced, so it could have been the actions of an angry woman... Whoever threw it away obviously never wanted to look at that album again." Amy's rep issued a statement that she wanted it back, and the man returned it. [The Daily Express]
• A 44-year-old woman has accused Dr. Phil or sexually molesting her when she was being treated by him and interning for him in the summer of 1985, according to The National Enquirer. "He profoundly affected the course of my life. The world should know this man is a predator and a bully. He shouldn't be telling Americans how to live their lives, how to improve themselves." said the woman. [The National Enquirer]
• Vanessa Hudgens lawyer says she's considering filing criminal charges against websites that publish nude photos of her taken when she was underage. She took the photos herself and believes her computer may have been hacked. [TMZ]
• Tony Curtis claims in his new book The Making of 'Some Like It Hot' that he and Marilyn Monroe had an affair while filming the movie. They were both married to other people, and he says she was pregnant with his child, but miscarried. [The Daily Mail]
• Despite recent rumors that Katherine Jackson is so convinced foul play was involved in Michael Jackson's death she wants a third autopsy done on his body, a family source says, "there is neither a plan nor a need for another autopsy." [E!]
• The Jackson family has finally decided to bury Michael Jackson at Forest Lawn cemetery six weeks after his death. [WENN]
• In a federal complaint filed in New York, DEA agents say Michael Douglas' son Cameron Douglas has moved "pounds" of crystal meth since 2006. He was investigated for three years and allegedly tens of thousands of dollars of crystal meth. Three of his former clients are cooperating with prosecutors in the hope that the sentence for their narcotics convictions will be reduced. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus has been granted a temporary restraining order against Mark McLeod, the man arrested on Tuesday for allegedly attempting to stalk her. [TMZ]
• Wrigley's has "formally terminated" their relationship with Chris Brown. When news of his assault on Rihanna originally came out the company just suspended his campaign. [TMZ]
• Many American Idol staffers are excited to see Paula Abdul go according to a "veteran key Idol staff member" who said, "Can't you hear our celebration? We broke out the good champagne tonight." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Paula says Simon Cowell already misses her and claims she hasn't heard that Nigel Lythgoe of offered her a guest judge spot on an episode of So You Think You Can Dance. [TMZ]
• Some American Idol sources say there's a good chance Paula Abdul will come back to the show next season. [TMZ]
• Victoria Beckham will guest judge one episode of American Idol next season. [The Daily Mail]
• Tom Sizemore was arrested on domestic violence charges after an altercation with a woman in L.A. last night and is still in custody. [TMZ]
• Polish fire emergency services have to approve evacuation routes before Madonna's Warsaw concert can take place. Some Polish Roman Catholics are protesting the concert, which is scheduled to take place during the feast of the Assumption of the Holly Virgin Mary because they say Madonna is anti-Christian. [UPI]
• A lawyer for Samantha Burke, who is having Jude Law's baby in October, responded to an interview request saying, "At this time, Samantha has decided not to give an exclusive story," which Radar thinks is news. [Radar Online]
• Does the following sentence mean anything to you? "Leonardo DiCaprio went on a mad bender in Ibiza last night - with Jodie Marsh's ex-hubby Matt Peacock." We know how to say, "Where is the library?" and "Did Peter Andre cheat on Jordan?" but are still not fluent in British. [The Sun]
• Kid Rock sent over $1,500 to a pizza boy who was beaten by a gang and needed emergency reconstructive surgery after reading about his story in The Cincinnati Enquirer. [The Daily Express]
• Steven Tyler was dancing onstage and fell off the stage at a show in South Dakota. He was taken to the hospital and treated for minor head, neck, and shoulder injuries. Video at the link. [TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin will be on Today on Monday for her first interview since she and Jon Gosselin announced that they're divorcing. [Associated Press]
• On August 15 Alyssa Milano will marry talent agent David Bugliari at a private home in New Jersey. [Radar Online]
• Milla Jovovich and director Paul Anderson will marry on August 22. "It's going to be small," she said, "It's just going to be family and close friends. And it's at our home and it's going to be kind of like Havana/Cuban, like very California-Spanish feeling. It's going to be nice." [People]
• The Jay Leno Show will premiere on September 14 with musical guests Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West. [Variety]
• Britney Spears will appear at the Teen Choice Awards on Monday night. [BritneySpears.com]
• Kristen Wiig bought a Manhattan co-op from Mad Men and Sopranos director Alan Taylor. [N.Y. Observer]
• In the video at the link RHOA's NeNe Leakes says, "I TiVo a lot of things I'm on. I'm just the bomb," and discusses her love for Anderson Cooper and Maxwell. [Entertainment Weekly]
• In Paul Giamatti's new film Cold Souls he plays "an angst-ridden actor who is also Paul Giamatti and who literally has his soul surgically removed to help him cope with the stress of his career and life." He says of playing a fictional version of himself, "The only time it really struck me as very weird was when someone said my whole name during a scene, and I'd go, 'We should cut and start again because there's obviously a mistake there.' Then I'd remember I was actually playing me." [Reuters]
• Molly Ringwald says of her new twins Roman Stylianos and Adele Georgiana, "You get up with one of the babies and feed and change that one and get the baby back to sleep, and the other wakes up, and then you feed and change that one. It is exhausting, but it's wonderful," [People]
• "My friends love coming over [to my house], because they get fed," says Jennifer Aniston. "It's the best restaurant in town." Her personal chef adds, "Jen's a homebody. It's been so much fun to create a place where everybody feels comfortable, like one big family." [People]
• Sienna Miller says she "probably looked awful" for dating married father of four Balthazar Getty. "I probably seem like not a particularly nice person, not a girl's girl," she said. "I do think sometimes people get morally superior without understanding situations and the situation I got into was not ideal, but it happened and if I could go back and be more responsible, I would." [Us]

• Oprah is being sued for $1 trillion. That is one trillion dollars. Here's the deal:

Author Damon Lloyd Goffe of the Bronx claims that in April 2008, Oprah confessed to seizing (?) and publishing (on the web) a first draft of his work, A Tome of Poetry, under the title Pieces Of My Soul. [National Enquirer]

• Newly unemployed Paula Abdul might go to The View: The show's rep says "She was always welcome on the program in the past and always will be in the future." Paula might fill in during Elisabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave, but probably won't be offered a full-time job; the rep says: "We aren't hiring, of course." [E!]
• Apparently Paula's Idol resignation Tweet took many Idol staffers by surprise. When asked if Paula will be replaced, one exec said: "I have no idea." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Former American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe says he's talked with Paula about coming to Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. "With Paula's background as a dancer, choreographer and reality judge now, I don't know anyone more qualified than Paula Abdul." [NY Daily News]
• "Who can replace Paula Abdul on 'American Idol?' Sarah Palin? Judge Judy?" LOL. [NY Daily News]
• You know who will be on American Idol? Victoria Beckham. Yes, Posh Spice will make a guest appearance on the judging panel. Zigazig-ah. [Daily Mail]
• Posh's appearance will be a one-off. [People]
• Britney wants to marry her manager-boyfriend Jason Trawick and have his baby (she wants a girl), but a source says: "Jason's last long-term relationship ended because he wouldn't pop the question." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Kristin Davis is caught in the middle of Mideast politics — she is no longer a spokeswoman for human rights/relief organization Oxfam International because she endorses the Ahava cosmetics line, which is made by Dead Sea Cosmetics in the Mitzhe Shalem Jewish settlement in the West Bank. Oxfam considers this "disputed" territory. [Page Six]
• A new batch of nude photographs of Vanessa Hudgens hit the internet and her lawyer confirms that they are real and that she was underage when they were taken. You've got to wonder who keeps leaking pictures of the Disney teen queen, and how he or she is getting access to these images. [Perez]
• According to this report, the Vanessa Hudgens pix are actually old. Yet! Released just in time: There's a red carpet premiere of her new flick, Bandslam, tomorrow. [E!]
• Mischa Barton didn't go to some castmate's birthday party and we're supposed to read something into that. [Page Six]
• Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and George Clooney are hanging out at Cloon's luxurious Lake Como estate, like an Ocean's Eleven reunion. Except no Brad Pitt. [NY Daily News]
• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling off the stage during a show in South Dakota. Not a joke: He went down during the song "Love In An Elevator." His injuries are reportedly not too serious: minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury. [AP]
• In a poll by lovefilm.com (?), Anne Hathaway was named best actress under 30. Keira Knightley got second place. [Telegraph]
• It's tough to describe the creeptastic pictures in the results of this "NYC Prep Meets Yearbook Yourself" post, but there are retro hairstyles and Morrissey quotes, so you'd better just click and see. [The Faster Times]
• Michael Jackson and rapper Fabolous are on the top of the Billboard charts. [Reuters]
• A South Korean newspaper is suing Michael Jackson's estate for $7.9 million over some canceled concert dates in 1990. As if Katherine Jackson's lawyers didn't have enough to worry about. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson will be telling Prince and Paris that their biological mom is Debbie Rowe in the next few weeks. [NY Post]
• A play at the Edinburgh Fringe festival — with an all-Malawian cast — is about Madonna's adoption saga and titled Mercy Madonna of Malawi. Her Madgesty is played by a black male actor in a blonde wig, and he looks like he's loving it. [BBC News]
• If you haven't seen it yet, the animated Modest Mouse video directed by Heath Ledger can be found at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Barbra Streisand is auctioning off more than 400 personal items to benefit her charity: A baby grand piano, a dress from Funny Lady, some outfits from Meet The Fockers. "What good does it do in storage?" Barbra asks. The Streisand Foundation supports women's, children's, environmental and political causes. [AP]
• Catherine Deneuve was booed at a performance in Italy, where she was reading at a cultural festival. Attendees may have been frustrated that she was reading in French and there were no subtitles. [AP]
• Pedro Almodóvar turns 60 next month, and is about to release his 17th feature film, Broken Embraces. He says: "I want to make more. Right now, I feel a sense of urgency that I never had before to make films. I feel much more in a hurry now than when I was 20 or 30. Time passes." And! On muse Penelope Cruz: "Hollywood doesn't take such risks with actors. They're not that rich in female characters either. I have the advantage that I know Penelope very well as a friend. She has such faith in me, so I can take more risks, bring out those unseen Penelopes, that other directors wouldn't dare to try or conceive." Be sure and click the link and watch the trailer, in which Cruz wears a bunch of different wigs and channels Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. [Telegraph]
• Liam Neeson will star in Unknown White Male, a thriller from the director of Orphan, in which Neeson will play a doctor who gets into a car accident and goes into a coma. When he wakes up, his wife doesn't recognize him — and she's living with another man who has assumed his identity. [Variety]
• HBO, which has been getting very lady-friendly lately, is developing a show for Laura Dern. The premise? A formerly self-destructive woman has a spiritual awakening and becomes determined to live an enlightened life, wreaking unintended consequences." Writer? Mike White, School Of Rock. [Women & Hollywood]
• Thomas Beatie, known as the "pregnant man," is pitching a reality series to Oxygen to TLC. [NY Daily News]
• Retrogossip: "Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis had affair while making 'Some Like it Hot,' Curtis reveals in book.… The 84-year-old actor writes that he and Monroe had an affair while making the movie in 1958 which left her pregnant. Had she not miscarried, Marilyn would have been his baby mama." [Gatecrasher]
• "He'd better start making some good films ... I'm not a great fan of Public Enemies, because I think [Michael Mann's] a fucking extraordinary filmmaker, but personally I didn't think Johnny had enough room to act ... He's making so much money. There was a piece in the Huffington Post today. It's a letter saying 'All right, come on, we all love you, but stop.' ... It's like, 'Come on. You've got the power to make some really good films happen. Why are you doing this shit?'" — Terry Gilliam on Johnny Depp. [NY Mag]
• "Chris Kattan wanting to be a leading man is a joke, and it's a great way to poke fun of myself. It's not so much about finding a gig but good, respectful gigs." — Chris Kattan, on his role in Bollywood Hero, in which he decides to head to India and reinvent himself as the star of a Bollywood epic, Peculiar Dancing Boy. [USA Today
• "My priorities have shifted completely, which has helped my career because there's this new peace that I have. If I never did anything again, I would be a mom and I'd be totally happy being a mom. Everything has fallen into place so beautifully because I'm not trying so hard. If my daughter's OK, I can concentrate on something else. So it's not like all day I'm thinking about me." — Milla Jovovich. [LA Times]
• "If this article comes out and we're not together, I'd still love [Tony]," she says. "And he'd still be a huge part of who I am today." — Jessica Simpson, to Glamour magazine. [NY Daily News]
• The thing is that American Idol obviously appeals to a massive audience, and they have everything from little teenagers that freak out and scream when they see me. Then there's the sort of weird kids that were a little bit different and alternative than everyone else and were getting into Idol, too. You have the single moms. You have the Oprah audience. You have the grandmothers. You have women that want a baby. Women that want to fuck you. Women that want you to fuck their daughter or people that want to make you cookies. So you have everything. But I'll tell you, I definitely have a pretty hard-core sort of middle-age woman following. It's awesome when anyone follows, but I think that if I had a new hit on the radio and I was playing shows, you'd see a lot more of the teeners there, but the women that are dedicated, that travel all over the country to see me, are from 30 to 50 and some older, definitely. You know that's all been really great and fun, but I'm very focused on the work and eventually settling down and finding one nice girl, preferably Greek." — Constantine Maroulis, former Idol contestant and current Broadway star in Rock Of Ages.[The Daily Beast]

• Mark Wahlberg married his longtime girlfriend Rhea Durham yesterday in a small ceremony in Beverly Hills. "She looked like a princess and beyond stunning. Mark looked ecstatic," says a source. So much for Nicole 4 Eva! [People]

• In more wedding news, Ali Larter was married this weekend, as well, to actor Hayes MacArthur in Kennebunkport, Maine. [USWeekly]
• And Milla Jovovich is set to walk down the aisle on August 22 to marry her fiance of six years, director Paul W.S. Anderson. [DailyMail]
• Demi Moore, meanwhile, will celebrate her fourth year of marriage to Ashton Kutcher by adopting his surname. "Demi didn't want to change her name at first because it didn't seem right but now she finally feels ready," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have allegedly had a bit of a tiff over their final resting places: "Angelina initially wanted to be buried beside her ex-husband Billy Bob (Thornton)," says a source, "She bought his and hers cemetery plots in Louisiana but since then she's changed her will. She's been trying to persuade Brad to make a decision on where they should be buried but he thinks the whole thing is morbid." [DailyMail]
• Pitt has been dealing with the stress by retreating to his separate two-bedroom home, where neighbors say he has been "playing Nick Drake quite loudly." Oh, dear. [DailyMail]
• G.I. Joe star Channing Tatum says he loves being a newlywed: "We've been together, and nothing's really changed. It's pretty much the same as I've felt every day since I met her – and that's just about perfect." [People]
• Disturbing: Charles Manson allegedly runs a memorabilia business out of his cell, selling autographs to morbid collectors. [PageSix]
• Whitney Houston won't be singing live on Good Morning America this September; instead, her performance will be taped the day before, as Whitney "is not a morning person" and would rather not perform at 7:30 am. [PageSix]
• "Michael, after 50 years of waiting, God has finally called you home to do what you do best. He shared your extraordinary talent with us all for many decades and now it's time for you to spread your wings to a much higher level, which of course I know you will do, and join the other angels and give them an incredible eternal performance. Keep the angels smiling, Joker!"- LaToya Jackson, in a post on her website, dedicated to her brother Michael. [USWeekly]
• Jackson's death has been devastating for his mother, Katherine Jackson, who currently has custody of his children: "This pressure is tearing her apart physically and emotionally," says a source, "At her age and in her fragile state of health, more exertion could trigger another stroke. She has full time nursing care but the strain is visibly taking its toll." [DailyExpress]
• Judd Apatow's Funny People won the Friday box office with 8.6 million dollars. [EW]
• Kate Gosselin has reportedly purchased a condo in Rockville, Maryland that's only about a mile away from the home of her bodyguard, Steve Neild. [E!]
• Blind Item:"Which Oscar winning actor has used this as a chat-up line? 'Why don't you to come back to my trailer and let me impregnate you? Think about it – 20 grand a year for life.'" [BlindGossip]
• "I could not be happier. I'm absolutely thrilled with her as a person, as an actor. I've gotten to know her a bit over this time, and I can't speak highly enough of her."-Joan Jett, approving Kristen Stewart's portrayal of her in The Runaways. [ONTD]
• Courtney Love has allegedly been taking the growth hormone Genotropin in an attempt to slow the aging process. "Courtney has been struggling with her weight,' says a source, "She's been using the hormones to help her gain muscle and for anti-ageing and likes the results. But she's not very discreet. She even left a vial of it in her LA hotel room." [DailyMail]
• A source claims that Jessica Simpson's Barbie and Ken themed birthday party was the last straw for Tony Romo, who broke up with Simpson the night before the party was supposed to take place: "There was no way Tony was going to dress up like a Ken doll. He never would have lived it down. His teammates would have roasted him to death. But sadly, Jess just didn't get it!" [ShowbizSpy]
• "I love kids, don't get me wrong, because without them I wouldn't be where I am today, but they do follow me around to the most peculiar places. And they're very loud! When they start screaming it's sweet to see how enthusiastic they are, but I'm going to go deaf sooner than most people. It's impossible to calm them down when they start, I just cover my ears."- Vanessa Hudgens [ShowbizSpy]
• "I don't drink, so how am I going to meet people? I'm going to go up to a drunk guy and be like, ‘Hey, let me take advantage of you'? Not that I'm antisocial. I am kind of antisocial. It's just so intimidating to go from, like, ‘You want to play basketball and get to know each other?' to ‘Let's go on a date and see if it might get dirty.'"- Charlyne Yi on the difficulties of dating. [NYTimes]

[Image via WENN]

• Remember this report that Quentin Tarantino asked Brad Pitt to join the cast of Inglourious Basterds over some wine and some weed?

Quentin says: "That was Brad. He did the fabrication. He can take a Coke can and make it - functional." [NY Mag]

• Unsolicited uterus update: "Is Penelope Cruz pregnant?" Is she? [Page Six]
• Matt Damon has launched a new humanitarian project, Water.org, aimed at bringing clean water sources to nearly 890 million people at risk of disease. [Mirror]
• "Why I Waited Until 44 To Do My First Nude Scene, By The Proposal Star Sandra Bullock." Actually, she doesn't explain that, but she does say: "If you're naked and you're trying to be sexy — you don't really make as much money as if you're naked and you're funny." [Daily Mail]
• NYC Artist Dash Snow has died of a drug overdose; his brother, Maxwell Snow, dated Mary-Kate Olsen. [ONTD, Page Six]
• What will the Harry Potter stars do after the the movies are over? Daniel Radcliffe hopes to head back to the stage, but also "sleep"; Emma Watson will attend college, but would like to work with directors Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro; Rupert Grint says: "I look forward to seeing what else is out there and to move on, really." [USA Today]
• In a poll, Hermione was voted the favorite Harry Potter character. And! "Some 51% thought [Emma] Watson would have the best post-Potter career, with a large majority (67 percent) approving the idea of her appearing naked." Eyeroll! [Reuters]
• Uh, the Vatican approves of the latest Harry Potter movie, since it makes the debate over good versus evil crystal clear. [Mirror]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is "resentful" that Guy Ritchie has been hanging around lately. But, you know, Madge and Guy were married for eight years and have three kids together. So. As for Jesus, a source says Madonna likes him because "He's pretty and she can boss him around." [Gatecrasher]
• Pity the Poles! Britney's Circus tour won't be stopping in Warsaw, due to a contractual dispute. [AP]
• Robert Redford got married on Saturday! The bride was a German Fräulein named Sibylle Szaggars; the ceremony took place at St. Catherine Church in Hamburg. Herzlichen Glückwunsch! [AP]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday Rose, has turned one year old, and Nic and husband Keith Urban celebrated with a "little cake." Also, Keith says, "My wife made a beautiful video that covered her first year and we gave that to all the family." The kid is already a film star. [Daily Express]
• David Beckham has a new tattoo: The ring of roses around his arm has one flower for each year of marriage to wife Victoria. Sweet. [Daily Mail]
• Is Simon Cowell worth £100 million a year? That's what he's negotiating for to stay on American Idol. [Mirror]
• An X Factor fan lost her purse and Simon Cowell gave her a wad of his own cash. He can spare it! [EW]
• The LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and Dr. Conrad Murray is the focus of the investigation. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer denies that she accepted $4 million to walk away from the custody battle. He says: "Ms. Rowe has not accepted — and will not accept — any additional financial consideration beyond the spousal support she and Michael Jackson personally agreed to several years ago." The New York Post printed a story claiming that Rowe had struck a deal with the Jackson family, and her lawyer is calling it "unequivocally false." [TMZ, CBS News, Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe sent emails to a friend which say: "I'm not going after custody. These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael's. I was Michael's best friend." [Extra]
• Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, is not fully cooperating with official requests for medical records. [TMZ]
• The DEA is trying to find out who supplied Michael Jackson with the powerful anesthesia Propofol. [TMZ]
• "A maker of the potent anesthetic propofol found in Michael Jackson's home has been contacted by federal officials investigating the pop star's death and has recalled tens of thousands of vials of the drug after two tainted lots sickened dozens of patients." [AP]
• "I never saw him on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him." — Tito Jackson on Michael's drug use. [Mirror]
• Jack Wishna, a Las Vegas businessman who tried to organized comeback shows for Michael Jackson, says the pop star would move a bunch of mattresses on to the floor so he and all his kids could play, jump up and down and sleep in the same room. In addition, he would leave his Christmas trees up for about seven months. [E!]
• At this link, you'll find similarities and differences between real-life super agent Ari Emanuel and the character inspired by him, Entourage's Ari Gold. [Independent]
• Zooey Deschanel was supposed to headline a screening and Q&A of her film 500 Days Of Summer on Monday, but she'd already headed to Ireland where she's shooting Your Highness, a fantasy flick in which she plays a princess. Zooey sent a recorded statement in which she said, "Umm, I guess I should maybe answer a few questions preemptively. ... I did the movie because I liked it." [Observer]
• Vanessa Hudgens will be in a movie called Bandslam, playing a character named Sa5m, and — this is important — the 5 is silent. [People]
• Emily Blunt joins Matt Damon in Adjustment Bureau, a movie based on a Philip K. Dick short story. [Variety]
• Russell Brand: The voice of the Easter Bunny. In a live action/CGI family comedy called I Hop, to be released in March 2011. [Variety]
• Miley Cyrus will star in Wings, a movie based on a novel about a high-school girl who sprouts a pair of wings and learns that she is a fairy. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman's signed on to appear in Avon Man, in which guys laid off from an auto dealership end up working as Avon salesmen. Jackman + makeup + comedy? We're in. [Variety]
• Usher has a summer camp, Camp New Look, that invites 130 children to spend two weeks in Atlanta learning about the business side of sports and entertainment. Hey says: "These kids come here and they're like 'Oh, wow … we're going to learn about entertainment!' But they leave engaged in life and knowing that, 'I can have a future outside of music.' That's what makes me most proud." [USA Today]
• Uh-oh. Robert De Niro is a victim of an art scam? He is gonna take you down. Take you down to Chinatown. [Reuters]
• Hmm, I didn't know that Rashida Jones was dating President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Where have I been? [Page Six]
• Q-Tip has inked a deal to publish his memoir, titled Industry Rules. Is one chapter titled "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo"? [mediabistro.com]
• Interesting piece about Angie Dickinson, who starred in the 1974-78 NBC series Police Woman, for which she earned a Golden Globe award and Emmy nominations as L.A. police officer Sgt. Pepper Anderson. The show paved the way for future female-driven cop shows. [LA Times]
• Congrats To Joey McIntyre and his wife, who are expecting their second child in December. [People]
• Some guy was trying to sue Janet Jackson, claiming that her bodyguards beat him up in a club, but the case was dismissed due to a lack of evidence. [Goathamist]
• Aerosmith bass player Tom Hamilton is recovering from non-invasive surgery and will miss some tour dates. [Reuters]
• Jane Fonda and music producer Richard Perry: It's on. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which grungy young starlet's idea of a good time is getting stoned with her ex-hippie parents?" [Gatecrasher]
• "When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on." — Jada Pinkett Smith spills about her sex life. [Page Six]
• "[She] wipes the floor with me every time I play her." — Daniel Radcliffe, who says Emma Watson is a pro at table tennis. [The Sun]
• "I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and that was my time." — Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious Basterds and its reception at Cannes. [NY Mag]
• "I'm a trained astronaut, and it's my time to go." — Lance Bass is still hoping to head to space. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't have his number, so haven't spoken to him. But I can safely say that his insisting that girls would choose me over him that they would not. That they do not. He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy." — Daniel Radcliffe, on Robert Pattinson. [The Daily Beast]
• "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe." — Elizabeth Taylor. [CNN]

• Contrary to a report in the National Enquirer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are not splitting up. In fact, they're in love. Imagine that! [Us Magazine]

• Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie has been named by Forbes as the "world's most powerful celebrity," stealing the top spot from (dun dun dun…) Oprah Winfrey.Forbes' Celebrity 100 power rankings are based on a combination of earning power and media exposure, and four out of the top five places are held by female stars: In addition to Angie and Oprah, there's Madonna and Beyoncé. Do it, ladies! [Telegraph]
• Interestingly, Forbes chose Beyoncé as their cover model. Maybe Angelina was too busy making out with Brad? [People]
• The Forbes "Celebrity 100" list is here. [Forbes, Forbes]
• Eminem speaks about the Bruno stunt: "Sacha called me when we were in Europe and he had an idea to do something outrageous at the Movie Awards. I'm a big fan of his work so I agreed to get involved with the gag… After the ceremony I went back to my hotel and laughed uncontrollably for about 3 hours. Especially after I saw it on air." [Rap Radar]
• Power ballad showcase showdown: Jake Gyllenhaal and Zac Efron are "neck and neck" to play the lead in the big-screen version of Broadway's Rock of Ages. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney is dating another waitress, this time she's an aspiring model in Miami. She looks really tall! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Ashlee Simpson "had to be restrained" at an event where she was drunk and told her husband Pete Wentz's ex — Michelle Trachtenberg : "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!" [Page Six]
• Did Susan Boyle lose Britain's Got Talent votes due to a YouTube scam? [Telegraph]
• Lindsay Lohan is following Sam Ronson around London, but it seems like every time LL arrives at a club where Samantha is hanging out, Sam leaves. Wonder why? [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone and Shia LaBeouf have made a deal: Shia will star in the Wall Street sequel. [Page Six]
• When he's out of town, Kate Hudson watches boyfriend Alex Rodriguez play ball on TV. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert will be guest-editing Newsweek's June 8 issue. Is that concept intriguing enough to get you to buy the magazine, at a time when print is flailing? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh shit, here comes the Adam Lambert smack-talk. A "source" says: "He is such a diva. Rude to everyone - from fans right down to the lighting folks." Clay Aiken, is that you? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Miley Cyrus fired United Talent, her agency, and will go with CAA instead. UTA had repped her on her Hannah Montana deals, but Miley is probably looking to "grow up." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Oh dear: Christina Ricci and boyfriend Owen Benjamin have called off their engagement, Sad face! In this report is the classic phrase, "They're definitely still friends." [People]
• Kim Kardashian says: "I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidently referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It's totally my publicist's fault haha." [Kim Kardashian.Celebuzz.com]
• From a review of Britney Spears' concert in London: "The costumes are pretty skimpy and there's nowhere the set designers haven't contrived to put a pole for her to gyrate around. And yet there's something unsexy about all of it, possibly because there's something weirdly characterless about the woman at its centre: you'd happily trade some of the special effects for the sense of Spears actually engaging with her audience rather than slickly going through the motions." [Guardian]
• Britney's trying to sell her old house — she even dropped the price by about a million dollars — but no one's buying. People! This is the scene of the famous ambulance ride. Surely you want to… Never mind. [E!]
• LeAnn Rimes is accused of "stalking" Eddie Cibrian in the new Us, but in response to that allegation, she says: "You know what, I'm a classy woman, I'm never ever going to battle anything out in the press." And: "I can't control other people but I can control what I say and what I don't. I refuse to get down on any one else's level and I'm going to take the high road on everything." Okay then! [People]
• The stars of The Hangover — Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis — have a wacky, silly banter off the screen, as well. [USA Today]
• Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel gave Caroline Kennedy a copy of her book, Naturally Thin. Surely, just what Caroline always wanted. [Gatecrasher]
• Eyeroll: Kristin Cavallari threw glitter at some models during a fashion show in St. Maarten and almost got in a fight, yawn. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson's divorce — what with the real estate being held in trust for the kids and millions in the bank — is going to be messy. [TMZ]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant ladyfriend has an ex-husband who was married to her for five months. He says: "It's a period of my life that I would rather forget." Asked what his former wife was like, the man sniped, "You should ask all the other men - there were enough of them!" [Daily Express]
• While on break from shooting Dollhouse, Eliza Dushku visited Uganda and met with former child soldiers who are trying to reintegrate themselves back into society. "You learn so much that you would never be able to read in a book ... meeting people and hearing stories firsthand," Dushku says. "I can't bear to hear people say that they're bored in this day and age." [AP]
• Edie Falco says being the star of Nurse Jackie is different from playing Carmela on The Sopranos: "It really feels like changing careers in a way. [Sopranos creator David Chase] oversaw everything; we called him the master cylinder. We all had our input, but it ultimately trickled down to David alone in a room somewhere, I imagined, making all the decisions. I had trust in that. [But at Jackie], they're asking for my input on levels I've never been asked before. That's revelatory for me, and it takes a great deal of chutzpah, confidence, to be able to say that. I really am just an actress." [USA Today]
• Vanessa Hudgens and Mary-Kate Olsen will be in the teen romance film Beastly, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. [Variety]
• "Stephen Fry and Ricky Gervais defend science writer sued for libel." [Telegraph]
• "Jude Law stuns the critics with a 'lucid, excellent' performance of Hamlet." [Daily Mail]
• Terrence Howard will develop a a TV drama based on the life of undercover LAPD detective Ronald Farwell, who infiltrated the Black Panthers. [Variety]
• Not-so-blind item: "Which rehabbed starlet is back in the tangled web of getting drunk every night?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was just a comment that you make, the same comment when you're 12. He just made it when he was 38 or however old he is. They had a friend over last night who is gay. I have two gay brothers. It was not done with malice, because I know them. It was a slip of the tongue. His "uh-oh" moment. Let's give Joe his "uh-oh" moment. We all get them. The Joe I know has no phobias, has no discrimination, he has family members that are gay. He has friends that are gay. He welcomes and embraces my two brothers that are gay." — Caroline Manzo, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, on Teresa's husband, Joe, calling someone "gaylord." [E!]
• "It did take a lot of work. I thought it was gonna drop off easily because I had been in shape my whole life, but it wasn't. I gained about 50 pounds with my twins, and the first 30 dropped off like that, and I was like, 'Ha, this is gonna be so easy.' That last 20 - that took a while." —Jennifer Lopez, on losing her "baby weight." [Mirror]
• "First of all, you gotta run them around before the bath. Play a game of hide and seek or wrestle or muck around. Then they're exhausted. Then we all fall asleep on the bed!" — Hugh Jackman's secret to getting the kids to go to sleep. [People]
• "I'm reaching out to Susan. She should hook up with me and [Catholic classical trio]The Priests. We would be the world's first gospel supergroup. I think it's horrible people have been making fun of her. Susan just wants to love Jesus and sing – it's cute. Only I can help her out of her meltdown." — Beth Ditto wants to hang with Susan Boyle. [The Sun]
• "Filming a scene that involves being entirely naked and takes a couple days can be a little awkward. Thankfully you're there for so long and you're doing it for so long that you dispense with the awkwardness pretty quickly and start to have mundane, normal conversations – the difference being you're not wearing pants." — Ryan Reynolds, on letting it all hang out in The Proposal. [People]
• "In the movies, you often see the average-looking guy with the incredibly attractive woman. In my movies you see the average-looking woman with the super hot John Corbett. I'm happy to make those movies for all of us women. Guess what? We need people like me on screen. That's what movies are. You go and escape for a sec." — Nia Vardalos, whose directorial debut, My Life In Ruins, opens tomorrow. [LA Times]
• "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone. If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them. I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. I pray for them." — Denise Jonas, mother of the Jonas Brothers, worries that your slutty Jezebel lifestyle includes tarnishing her purity-ring wearing sons. [MSNBC]

The Good: Sienna Miller's tunic, while somewhat reminiscent of the Kate Moss for Top Shop collection (which is v good), is cute and fun in that MTV Awards-apropos way.


The Good: Again, how fun is Monique Coleman's futuristic majorette?


The Good: Briana Evigan's neutral jersey may be one of the most sedate numbers on the red carpet, but it's also one of the prettiest.


The Good: LeAnn Rimes' wicked queen getup? Rock on.


The Good: Aw, is Anna Faris' adorable puffball a tribute to Lacroix?


The Good: Okay here's another one that you couldn't get away with on a network red carpet: digging Lil Mama's Lisa Frank palette!


The Good: Imagine if we weren't sick to death of horizontals and geometrics and stripery of any kind due to all the bandages? How fresh and darling would CariDee English's one-shoulder look?


The Good: Is Taraji P. Henson's the most ridiculous concoction on a ridiculous red carpet? Mais oui! Just when we thought we couldn't love her more!


The Good: Okay, Rumer Willis' stained-glass thingamabob is vaguely horrible, but admit it, it's also vaguely awesome! (Right?)


The Good: I realized over the weekend that the main problem with The City is that "You Belong to the City," the most stirring urban anthem of the 1980s, isn't the theme song.


The Good: How super-duper is Ashley Greene's hair? Girl-group fab, right?


The Bad: Paris Hilton's commitment to living the Barbie lifestyle is really unquestionable.


The Bad: Vanessa Hudgens is gorgeous, and maybe this draped sheet could work if her accessories hadn't been selected by a 5-year-old-hippie.


The Bad: Okay, props to L.C. for taking a chance. But her Degas-Lacroix leaves one scrambling desperately for something nice to say before moving on because you see a Jonas brother over by the bar.


The Bad: You know how they say horizontal lines break up the body in an unflattering fashion? Megan Fox disagrees.


The Bad: Jayde Nicole provides the obligatory showgirl-by-Cache element! (Last year's MTV MA's was my first GBU and I was so scared and humbled by the responsibility! Now it's like, whatevs, bring me a doll and a stalk of rhubarb with maple sugar on it.)


The Bad: Just a guess: Shar Jackson likes chains and buckles.


Leighton Meester continues her foray into the world of un-Waldorfian fashion with an assless exercise in immoderation. What say you?


Okay, KriStew and Twilight are emotionally charged, so let's just step back and find out what say you about this Bella-Swann-ready show of ambivilalence!


Guess Sandy's promoting Domineering-Boss-Who-Strongarms-Assistant-Into-Marrying-Me, and clearly selected an MTV-ready look. What Say You?


Besides those of you who hate minis unilaterally - well, you too, of course - what say you about Kristen Bell's teensy hourglass?


Bruno would do violence if he didn't rep The Ugly.

[Images via Getty]

• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt were kicked off of a yacht due to "inappropriate" behavior. The couple were making out, to the dismay of other passengers ,who cheered when the captain tossed them off. [Mirror]

• Jessica Biel says she'd love to star in a movie with her boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, someday: "If it was the right thing, yeah, I would love to costar with Justin," she says, "I just don't know what the right thing is, though." [People]
• Clay Aiken has apologized for comments he made about Adam Lambert on his blog: "I do apologize to Adam for my colorful (and negative) choice of words. I hope he can forgive me. I imagine he doesn't give a d—-! God knows he shouldn't." [USWeekly]
• Meanwhile, Adam Lambert is reportedly in talks to become the lead singer of Queen. [Reuters]
• Blind Item: "Which married actor is wildly flamboyant among friends and business associates, but when he sits down with an interviewer or goes out in public, he suddenly reins in the swishing and tries to pass for straight? Who's buying it?" [BlindGossip]
• Katie Holmes will perform at the PBS National Memorial Day Concert. "It's important to tell these stories and honor the sacrifice and service of these men and women and their families," Holmes says, "It's a real gift to be able to portray an American of such strength. I'm excited. I want to do justice to her story." [JustJared]
• Rapper Drake denies that he's dating Rhianna: "It's not like that at all. I'm being honest. She's just a friend, that's all," Drake says, "Nothing at all happened. I have the most respect for her. I think she's so talented." [TheSun]
• Katie Price, aka Jordan, says she wants a second chance with her estranged husband, Peter Andre. "‘I'll take Pete back tomorrow. I'll drop the divorce if he gives me another chance." [DailyMail]
• Peter, however, isn't too sure about a reconciliation: "I wish you had heard MY pleas when we were married." [Mirror]
• Is Zac Efron going to dump Vanessa Hudgens? "Zac's been told that to go from a teen idol to a major movie star, he has to distance himself from his HSM image," says a source, "One big thing that means is no more Vanessa. When people see them together, they think of their characters." [ShowbizSpy]
• "I went to a strip club to prepare for the role but it was a big disappointment. I'd taken these classes on how to dance but if you go to a strip club, no-one's dancing. Everyone just stands there. The girls are all just on stage and it's all about lap dances." -Heather Graham [ONTD]
• Barry Humphries says that if he wrote his own obituary, his alter-ego, Dame Edna would be left out completely: "It would be pretty well a catalogue of excessive compliments. It would just say what a very nice person I am, and what a generous hearted and sentimental person I am, and it wouldn't make any reference to Edna at all." [DailyExpress]
• ""Even though fame came all of a sudden, it didn't come too soon. I had already worked as a waitress in the real world, so I already had my group of friends and I'm still in touch with the same people. Only a few of my friends are actresses. In my friends I find unconditional love."-Jennifer Aniston [ShowbizSpy]
• Janice Dickinson on Tyra Banks' firing of Paulina Porizkova: "Tyra rolls like that, she likes to fire people just about when she's promising them large amounts of money, they get the axe, like I did.... then she takes the money and runs." [Examiner]
• Susan Boyle will perform a duet with Donny Osmond in Las Vegas. [Mirror]
• Annie Leibovitz is closer than ever to bankruptcy. [PageSix]
• "The deeper I got into my addiction, the tighter the lid got on my creativity. When I got sober the lid just came off. In seven months I accomplished more than I could accomplish in three or four years doing drugs."-Eminem [NYTimes]
• "The truth is what I'm a role model for is the ability to change culture, the ability for a young woman who may not be the most popular girl in school or the most beautiful or the best at everything to bust her arse and never give up and make something of herself."- Lady GaGa [ONTD]

• In case you were wondering what "the lowest of the low" looks like: tabloid reporters allegedly checked Brooke Shields' 75-year-old mother, Teri, out of an assisted living facility in order to get a story. [People]

• Shields claims that two reporters from the National Enquirer pretended to be friends of her mother, who suffers from dementia, in order to check her out of the facility. "They then drove my 75-year-old mother around looking for a tabloid story," says Shields, "As anyone knows who has a parent who suffers from dementia or Alzheimer's, it is one of the most difficult experiences you can go through as a son or daughter. The idea that the National Enquirer took advantage of her state is reprehensible and disgusting." [People]
• Natalie Portman denies the rumors that she is dating Sean Penn: "Sean Penn is a friend and colleague. The reports that we are romantically involved are completely untrue. I normally do not respond to rumors about my private life, however, this repeatedly fabricated story has forced me to do so." [USWeekly]
• "Everybody has the right to vocalize their own opinion. Me personally-I think that everybody deserves equal rights, it's really as simple as that."-Kristen Dalton, Miss USA 2009. [E!]
• Britney Spears reportedly spent over 10 million dollars between February and December of last year, including $625,000 that went to pay Kevin Federline's lawyers. The court documents refer to these payments as "Federline Fees." Ugh. Haven't we all paid our Federline Fees at this point? [TMZ]
• A source claims that Michael Jackson is currently battling skin cancer: "Michael's test showed spots of skin cancer on his body, and cell which could turn to skin cancer on his face," says the source, "He was at first very concerned, but says he has been assured by the doctors that they can treat this and he will recover." [DailyMail]
• "To be a contemporary movie actor, you have to kill people - that's basically it. If you don't cock'n'load'n'fire a Smith & Wesson at some point in your film career, you're not going to have a film career. There just aren't enough movies that I like to keep me working in movies all the time. Well, let me rephrase that: there aren't enough available parts.""-Ethan Hawke [Guardian]
• An employee of the restaurant Justin Timberlake formerly owned, Southern Hospitality, has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the current owners, claiming that her fellow employees forced her to watch "pornography while in a locked room... and made fun of her when she began crying." [TMZ]
• "In keeping with the great tradition of stars like Madonna and Cher who are on a first-name-only basis with their fans, I've decided to go by the name of 'Heidi.'"- Heidi Montag Pratt [E!]
• Spencer Pratt's take: "Legally, she's a Pratt. But to her fans she is 'Heidi.' I totally support my beautiful wife-no matter what she calls herself." Related: I would like to know how the reporter kept a straight face after Spencer said, "Legally, she's a Pratt." [E!]
• Gwen Stefani is looking forward to touring with No Doubt: "We're from Anaheim. This is cliche to say, but we never thought this would happen to us. We built a studio in the garage, and now we're driving around on tour with a bus that has a studio in it. We survived it all and we're still friends, and that's great." [Reuters]
• In a video that is slightly reminiscent of my own childhood experience with reading Where The Wild Things Are for the first time, Spike Jonze scares the daylights out of a small child by wearing a mask from the film. [Filmdrunk]
• "Whatever passes for normal for me is very important, otherwise there's nothing to feed what I write about. My lyrics have always been fairly straightforward. They're very narrative-based; there's not much room for interpretation. Therefore my songs have to be about something. So my real life is precious."-Jarvis Cocker [TimesOnline]
• Former Bachelorette Jen Schefft has married her non-tv-show related fiance, Joe Waterman. [USWeekly]
• A source claims that Kelly Bensimon regrets signing on to The Real Housewives of New York: "She realizes it was a mistake," says the source, "It has ruined her socially. She knows how bad she came off." Bensimon, however, denies the claims: "I think that's laughable. I had a fabulous experience on the show. My friends love me and had a ball watching me." [PageSix]
• Vanessa Hudgens on her upcoming non-Disney role: "People I think are going to be genuinely shocked,'' Hudgens said. ''It's about these girls in a mental institution that in their heads gets turned around to be a brothel. And in the meanwhile they are kicking serious ass." But will there be a choreographed dance number? [NYTimes]

• Lindsay Lohan ended a relationship with a woman a month ago and has been accused of being too thin... so clearly she's pregnant. She's also supposedly distraught because she doesn't know who the daddy is.

• When reporters asked Linds about her bun in the oven, she just laughed. We don't blame her. [E!]
• Billy Arnone, Carrie Prejean's brother, posted a video on YouTube today to defend his sister and promote his dirt bike racing career. He says they were "raised right" and adds, "I've never been a skinhead." Thanks for clearing that up. [TMZ]
• In this video, recorded from an Eminiem radio appearance, he says, "we're taking callers now, any women who want to be peed on." When the host says Mariah Carey is on the line, Eminem says he's already peed on her. [YouTube]
• Though Michael Jackson is being sued over his sold-out London comeback concerts, he has already started rehearsals with choreographer and director Kenny Ortega, who worked on Dirty Dancing, High School Musical and MJ's previous Dangerous and HIStory tours. [The L.A. Times]
• Just so you know, Vanessa Hudgens, "will show nudity in a film when the time is right," she said. "Right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it, but like I said, when the time's right, if it's an amazing movie that I'm really passionate about and that's what it calls for, then we'll see." [E!]
• Megan Fox complained, "It pisses me when people fucking complain that I'm too beautiful to get a part. That's bullshit." She added, "And if I weren't attractive I wouldn't be working at all." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 says she is horrified by claims that she had an affair with her bodyguard, Steve Neild. "Of course, [Neild and his family] travel with us at times, and we've spent holidays together, because, in this situation, your circle grows smaller and smaller, and it's very natural to become friends with your manager, your publicist, your security team ... they're the only people you have left. And now they're coming under fire." says Kate. "I'm totally panicking, and thinking, 'We are going to lose our last set of friends.' I keep calling them, begging, 'Seriously, I'm so sorry. Don't run away from us.' They keep saying, ‘We're fine, we're fine.' But they have paparazzi in front of their house. It's so upsetting." [People]
• Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard has revealed that she just got married and is 5 and a half months pregnant. She married photographer Sacha Brown in Indonesia. In keeping with local custom, she wore a black, long-sleeved tunic, a sarong and a white veil, and Brown wore a hat, a sword, and a sarong. "A long, manly sarong," said Beard. "He felt he looked like Aladdin!" [People]
• Rachel Hunter says her wedding to hockey player Jarrett Stole will take place in Northern California in mid-August, but her guests may want to wait to book tickets. "I am terrible" at wedding planning, Hunter says. "I need to be given less time than a year to plan, because I change my mind so often. It was going to be in Mexico, but we decided otherwise. I've made seven changes to the location." [People]
• Bob Barker may not come to the Game Show Awards this weekend because Betty White might be there. He and White are feuding over an elephant he wants relocated from the L.A. Zoo. [BuzzerBlog]
• When Matthew Reeve, son of Christopher Reeve, runs the New York City marathon to raise money for his late father's foundation, which supports people with spinal cord injuries, he will wear number 1275, the represent the 1.275 million people with spinal cord injuries. [People]
• In the trial over Brooke Astor's son allegedly changing her will, film producer John Hart testified that even though she'd met Matthew Broderick many times, at a dinner after The Producers she didn't recognize him. Hart says Broderick said to her, "Brooke, I'm Matthew. You love me. What did you think of the play?" [Gothamist]
• When asked if he would be in the Sex and the City sequel Jason Lewis said, "[There's] a good chance, yeah." He also congratulated Sarah Jessica Parker on her new twins and said, "She's a really neat lady. She's obviously prolific in what she's done - she's successful - but when she brought the kid to the set, mom would come on. She's very sweet with children, you can see that joy and innocence come out of her." [PopSugar]
• "We're very excited," said Kristin Davis of her Sex and the City co-star's new babies. "I [will] get to hold one, when Sarah is holding the other." [People]
• Joseph Fiennes is starring in a London production of Cyrano de Bergerac. He says of his character's signature feature, "Actually, we are just using my nose... No, I've had this extraordinary death mask cast done of my face in plaster to make this prosthetic nose, about four inches long." [The Telegraph]
• Prince Williams made a surprise visit to 109-year-old Catherine Masters because she wrote to the Queen politely pointing out that she had sent her the same birthday card for the past five years. The two had tea and talked, "He told me he liked making shepherd's pie and said he used a masher to mash the potatoes," she said, "but I told him he was doing it wrong - he should use a fork to fluff the potatoes." [The Daily Mail]
• Depeche Mode canceled an Athens concert Tuesday after lead singer David Gahan got sick and had to be taken to the hospital. [Yahoo]
• Ricky Gervais says of his Night At The Museum 2 co-star Ben Stiller, "The idea was to put him off and make him laugh... the best thing about working with Ben was putting him off. He takes it so seriously and he's such a professional." [The Star]
• Dave Gahan, who once overdosed on drugs, says of his Depeche Mode bandmate Martin Gore quitting drinking three years ago, "He is a changed man. There's a different side of Martin that has always been there, but sometimes it gets clouded when the drinking and stuff becomes more important than anything else. I think it got to that phase on the last tour, and Martin was the one that stood up and said, 'You know what? I've got to stop this.' It's sort of one of those cliches, one of those myths, that you have to be really messed up to do something cool artistically." [CNN]
• Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth will star as the parents in the new Addams Family musical. [The Daily Express]
• French icon Isabelle Huppert has been named jury president of the Cannes Film Festival, replacing Sean Penn. "It was not easy to find someone after Sean Penn," festival director Thierry Fremaux said. "Sean was great as a president. We'll miss him this year." [Yahoo]
• Linda Fiorentino's ex-boyfriend, FBI agent Mark Rossini will be sentenced on Thursday. He is charged with illegally accessing confidential FBI information for a person described as Madame X, who turned out to be his girlfriend, Fiorentino. [Star]
• Oprah appears on the new cover of O Magazine with a pack of puppies, including her dog Sadie, who she adopted after the photo shoot. "Out of all the pups in that picture, Sadie was the one I felt an instant connection with." Eventually all the other puppies were adopted. Oprah adopted Sadie's brother too, but he died a few weeks later of the parvo virus. [People]
• Jessica Biel had to be filmed driving 1929 BMW roadster in her film Easy Virtue, but they didn't let her actually drive. "I don't drive stick well," she said. "They wouldn't let me do it! The guy who owned the car was like, 'Please don't mess up my baby.'" [Style.com]
• Ally Shapiro, the teenage daughter of the Real Housewives' Jill Zarin, did an email interview about what it's like to be on the show. She says, "My mom is 'exactly the same in her house as outside of it.' Have you read To Kill a Mockingbird? Atticus Finch, anyone? Well, this is the Jewish-momma version. She is loud, truthful, and loving, exactly as you would expect her. And even if I don't agree with her or find her annoying, she is definitely NOT a hypocrite, something she should be proud of." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kelly Bensimon says that even though she seemed obnoxious and slightly nuts on The Real Housewives of New York, that's not the real her. "I was so guarded, I came across as not being me," she said. "Everyone I know was like, ‘That's not you! That's the not the fun Kelly who's always on Kelly time!' I didn't know these women. I was treading in murky waters and I didn't know how to navigate... For next season, I want people to see the real Kelly." So far, "another season of New York is not locked for anybody yet," she explains, but "I would love to be a part of the brand." [People]
• "I'm happy to have people talk about all the craziness they want to talk about, whether it's things like every year we're getting divorced, or we're an open family or Will's gay, or I'm gay," says Jada Pinkett Smith. "You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you, that's when you're really in trouble!" [E!]

• A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]

• The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
• David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
• By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
• Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
• "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
• Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
• Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
• Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
• Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
• Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
• Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
• John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
• Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
• Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
• Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
• A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
• Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
• Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
• An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
• "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
• "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
• "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
• "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
• "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
• "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]

[Los Angeles, April 19. Image via Getty]

• Jamie Foxx apologized on the Tonight Show for his statements about Miley Cyrus (he called her a "little white bitch" and suggested she should "go catch chlamydia from a bicycle seat"), telling Jay Leno:

"I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show...We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian. You know my heart. Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand." [E!]

• Miley's dad Billy Ray Cyrus thought Jamie Foxx's radio show comments were out of line, in case you were wondering. [E!]
• By the way: The 19-year-old hacker who broke into Miley Cyrus' MySpace last year is "very stressed" and in hiding. [E!]
• Another day, another Britney rumor; this time, it's that she's engaged to a 40-year-old real estate developer named John Sundahl. A source says the dude "got down on one knee in a Subway sandwich shop in Santa Monica" and offered Brit "a $4.5 million marquise-cut diamond." [Gatecrasher]
• Uh-oh, Britney's Circus tour might be a victim of the craptastic economy! She was supposed to add dates in Europe and Australia, but the outlook is now rather grim. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan on her Funny Or Die video: "I just think it's better to take something negative and turn it into something good... laughter is the BEST medicine." The video's director, Eric Appel, says: "She came up with the stuff about being a threat to all security guards — she improvised while doing it. She threw in a bunch of fun, funny stuff. People forget Lindsay Lohan's, like, a good actress." Wanna know why? Because we so rarely see her ACTING. [Us Magazine]
• Madonna's former nanny is still spilling deets about her time with her Madgesty! She says: "We weren't allowed to take any photographs of the family. We were given 'nanny cameras' so we could take photos of the children during their activities but when we got home we had to hand them in. The photographs were taken off and stored on Madonna's hard drive." [Daily Express]
• For crying out loud: Spencer Pratt wants a political career. He says: "Don't know if I'll be getting elected any time in the next century or so, but definitely going after mayor of L.A. and at least governor." [Us Mag via Pop Sugar]
• Is there another baby on the way for Heidi Klum? [MSNBC Scoop]
• When actors ask for money during a recession, they risk getting killed off. See: Edie of Desperate Housewives. Will Katherine Heigl's character on Grey's face the same fate? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Boo: The auction of Michael Jackson's stuff was called off yesterday; Jackson and the auction house reached a settlement. [AP]
• Mariah Carey has a Twitter, where she says things like "I gained a few pounds… My trainers back living w/me again..yippie." [E!]
• Oh. God. Mariah is covering Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [Page Six]
• The 24-year-old Russian pop singer claiming to be the "mystery girl" to blame for the end of Mel Gibson's marriage is named Oksana Pochepa. She was seen "frolicking" with Mel on the beach earlier this year, and from the looks of these pictures she is not shy about her body. She says her relationship with Mel "is serious and I hope that our union will be real and strong and long-lasting." Good luck! [The Sun]
• Speaking of Mel Gibson, the writer of Passion Of The Christ thinks Mel owes him money. [TMZ]
• Stephen Colbert is heading to Iraq to entertain the troops! [Page Six]
• Zac Efron might star in a film based on classic animated TV show Jonny Quest, even though Jonny was 11 years old. In talks to play Race Bannon, the brawny dude from the show? Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson. [LA Times]
• This Twilight "news" sounds juicy but actually isn't: Kristen Stewart's boyfriend Michael is "really insecure" when it comes to Robert Pattinson. A source says: "Everywhere [Kristen] goes, [Michael] now wants to go too. He's extremely jealous. And let's just say he's been trying to be up in Vancouver a lot lately." Which leaves Robert by himself, poor thing. [E!]
• William Hurt to Marlee Matlin: "My own recollection is that we both apologized and both did a great deal to heal our lives. Of course, I did and do apologize for any pain I caused. And I know we have both grown. I wish Marlee and her family nothing but good." She has said that he was violent when they were together; she told Access Hollywood: "I always had fresh bruises every day. And if I had a split lip, or if...I mean, there were a lot of things that happened that were not pleasant…I was always afraid...of him, but I loved him. Or maybe I thought I did. But look, I was 19, he was 35." [E!]
• The lady accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen wanted the details of her divorce to be private; the judge said no way. [NY Post]
• Wow, does David Letterman really hate Jay Leno? Apparently Jay wrote him a letter after his open-heart surgery and Dave did not respond. GQ calls this "heartless." [New York Mag]
• You guys: The show hasn't started yet but one of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey is pregnant. [People]
• The folks at ONTD are calling Johnathon Schaech's blog "The Saddest Blog Of The Year." [ONTD]
• Survivor star Richard Hatch wants to live in Argentina after he's released from prison for tax evasion; a federal judge said no fucking way. [USA Today]
• An arrest warrant was issued for model Angie Everhart, but she has paid a fine and her lawyer says it was a misunderstanding. [RadarOnline]
• Law & Order : SVU has been renewed for an 11th season, but it's not clear whether stars Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay will return. How can the show move on without them? [LA Times]
• Words I never ever thought I would type: Apple's Steve Wozniak will walk Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff down the aisle at her wedding to Maksim Chmerkovskiy. [Page Six]
• Private Practice star Kate Walsh filed amended divorce papers on Monday; she doesn't want her estranged hubs to get spousal support. [ET]
• Blind item! "Which singer/talk show hostess should be more careful where she shops? She was taken recently to a downtown storage facility where she bought $10,000 worth of luxury designer goods of dubious provenance — not fake, but fallen off the truck." [Page Six]
• "The girls were out of control-they were doing drugs and they were making out and they were coming on to us in a big way. They might have been 15 or 16, but in their heads they were already 40. I don't think there was a virgin on the set, except maybe a couple of the guys." — says Gerald V. Casale, of DEVO, reminiscing on playing the "New Wave Bat Mitzvah" on '80s sitcom Square Pegs. He also says he did coke with Jami Gertz and Sarah Jessica Parker in the talent trailers. [Heeb]
• "See, I don't think of myself as funny. I think of myself as rather grave, actually. And I'm suspicious of fun. I never quite know what that is or how to deal with it or how to generate it. That's my fault. I know it's a burden on the people I'm with. It's tiresome." — Hugh Laurie. [Mirror]
• "I'm in love with Angelina Jolie. Everything she does, I adore. I'd like to do an action film where I could kick someone's ass. I want to be strong and empowered. I want to shock everybody. [I have] really strong legs. I inherited them from my dad, who has tree stumps for legs, basically. I've got big calves that look good. When I wear heels, it looks like I've worked out my legs a lot, which is why I love them. I also have a big, big big toe. I call it my goat toe. I can climb anything." — Vanessa Hudgens. [Ok!]
• "I will donate 100K to one individual's favorite non profit organization.Of course,you must convince me why by using 140 characters or less." — Hugh Jackman, on Twitter, encouraging people to Tweet their suggestions. [Telegraph]
• "How long do you think the whole Internet thing is gonna last? Are people gonna get sick of that in five, 10 years, maybe? They [my kids] won't get to be, like, 15, 16, typing in, like, the word 'Fuck' and their father's name - a kid wouldn't do that, right? This just completely undermines all parental authority I would ever have." — Ben Affleck, worried that the "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" skit he did with Jimmy Kimmel will be seen by his kids someday. [Daily Express]
• "I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife… I totally understand OJ. I get it." — Hulk Hogan. [Page Six]
• "My friend hypnotised me before I started rehearsals to have a real open mind. I was getting a bit nervous. My anxiety was getting to me. I was hypnotised to calm me down and it worked." — Mel B, on getting ready for her racy peepshow in Las Vegas. [Daily Express]
• "I said, 'Look I'm going to call out the elephant in the room. I've never done a part like this. I sound like a girl from the San Fernando Valley. I have nothing in my arsenal to prove to you I'm capable of doing this.'" — Drew Barrymore, on her casting meeting for Grey Gardens. [LA Times]
• This is my first action movie, and I love every minute of it. I have a wonderful role, named Virginia. I wish I could tell you more about who I am, but I had to sign a confidentiality agreement. And I'm a trading card, too! I said, 'Oh my God, I have to be the oldest female-action-figure trading card.' And it's a very odd child who will ask for my card." — Jane Alexander, 69, who is in Terminator: Salvation as well as the play Chasing Mamet. [NY Mag]
• "I WAS WORKING ON THIS DOPE ASS SONG WITH JARED AND BRANDON STOPPED BY. I PLAYED THEM SOME OF THE NEW JEEZY BEATS AND BEFORE EVERYBODY BOUNCED BRANDON HOPPED ON THE KEYBOARD AND I HOPPED ON THE MPC. SHIT WAS DOPE. OH AND YES THOSE ARE SWAROVSKI CRYSTALS ON BRANDON'S SHIRT BY DRIES VAN NOTEN." — Your Friend Kanye West, who is talking about Jared Leto and Brandon Flowers. Pic at the link! [Kanye UniverseCity]