It was difficult to get Tom Sandoval on the phone for an interview.

Vanderpump Rules is not a show that is known for its likable cast. They get arrested for stealing sunglasses, refuse to allow their addict husbands to go completely sober because that’s not fun, lie about everything, sleep with each other’s boyfriends, and use the term “ratchet” a lot. But this season, aspiring DJ…

Tom Sandoval, of Vanderpump Rules fame, has put his considerable acting and hair-flipping skills to use in the newly released video for “I Do Coke,” from EDM producer Kill The Noise’s latest album OCCULT CLASSIC.

On Monday night, during part two of the Season 4 Vanderpump Rules reunion, the heat once again fell on my overly-contoured princess Lala Kent when Andy Cohen revisited Lala’s topless swim that occurred in mixed company during the SUR crew’s vacation to Hawaii.

For three seasons, the appeal of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules was having no one to root for. As Clover Hope previously wrote about the series’ cast of bartenders, hosts, and servers (who all work at Lisa Vanderpump’s West Hollywood restaurant SUR), “Everyone cheats. Everyone lies. Everyone’s a sucky friend.” Then, in…

The moment that everyone seems to be talking about from Monday night’s Vanderpump Rules is Jax (and the meat ring buoy that’s overwhelmed his neck) buying breast implants for his new girlfriend, but in all honestly, I couldn’t care less about Kentucky Brittany’s new honkers because I’m too distracted by Lala—the SUR…

Welcome to Would U?, an academic forum in which I share my gross crush of the week and ask if you, too, would bang that person.

This season of Vanderpump Rules was on its way to automatically landing a spot in the ridiculous reality television hall of fame. But a returning superstar who has lost much of her luster is threatening to throw it all down the drain.

What does it say about reality television in 2015 that the majority of the Jezebel staff’s favorite moments are from shows that aired on Bravo? We know Survivor’s still on the air, but there’s clearly just one network worth paying for cable for in this day and age (just kidding—praise the Lord for mom’s Time Warner…

Last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules should be repurposed as some sort of PSA targeting young women who need to learn about the type of men they absolutely should not date. It was a rare moment of honesty for the show, then appropriately ruined with the shameless and exquisite self-absorption of the cast.

Jennifer Lawrence went on Watch What Happens Live! with Andy Cohen Monday night—not your usual stop on an A-list publicity tour—to express her love for Bravo and answer some unusually probing questions.

Vanderpump Rules cast member Lala Kent appeared on The Nik Richie Podcast to discuss the show and her relationship with her maybe-just-for-the-show love interest, James Kennedy. During the episode, which was posted on December 14th, Lala tells an unsettling story about the couple’s first and only sexual encounter.

The greatest romance of our generation—that of Vanderpump Rules British DJ/busboy/Kristen punching bag James and the maybe sometimes escort/SUR hostess Lala—crashed and burned Monday night in a highly appropriate fashion.

Vanderpump Rules aired earlier this week, and amongst the mish-mash of plotlines we’re supposed to believe are real, Kristen and her “boyfriend” James had one of the most painful and mesmerizing conversations about cheating I’ve ever behold.

Vanderpump Rules is back for a 4th season, thank god—do not tell me what happens, I have not had a chance to watch yet—but unfortunately, along with this perfect Bravo specimen comes toadlike sex villain Jax “I Never Banged Fucking Jax” Taylor, neck ever-widening, buttons ever-lowering.

Here’s what you’ll learn from this trailer for season four of Vanderpump Rules. Jax is finally ready for true love. Kristen continues to be evil incarnate. Tom Schwartz says, “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm........OK” to marrying Katie. Tom Sandoval is in a cool band and Jax needs him to “chill the fuck out” about it. Stassi is back.

A rabbit jerks his head up, half-eaten carrot instantly forgotten. A squalling toddler quiets mid-scream, his gaze locked on the clear blue sky. A queen bee abandons her hive, feeling the pull of something stronger. “J. Law is back!” the breeze whispers. “J. Law is back!” the cockroaches sing. And the world comes…

In today’s news, the Greek financial crisis continues to spiral, wildfires are burning across Alaska, and, oh yeah, Vanderpump Rules’ Katie Maloney and Tom “Schwartz” Schwartz are FINALLY ENGAGED. No big deal!!!!!!!!!!!!

Above, you'll find a video of the most incredible day of my life.