When I heard that Astrologyzone.com's Susan Miller was giving readings at Henri Bendel on Fashion's Night Out, I felt destined to get some astrological advice. Unfortunately, the scene was such a clusterfuck my moon was in someone's anus.

• Not only does George Clooney not have a clothing line, he is so offended by the notion that he would have one that he's testifying against three guys who claimed that he was launching a line called "GC Exclusive."

• Tyra Banks has signed a deal to write three YA novels that will marry modeling with Harry Potter — the protagonist having been accepted into an academy for "intoxibellas," or supermodels-in-training who "harbor unknown powers." What, no vampires? [Galleycat]

• For the September issue of Harper's Bazaar, the magazine interviewed Karl Lagerfeld, speaking as Coco Chanel. In character, the Grand Teuton shared such idiotic reflections as: "I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that." [FWD]

• Please, baby Jesus, all we want for Christmas is for the rumors that Victoria Beckham will be the guest judge on the season finale of Project Runway to be true! [Rush & Molloy]
  
• The Dynamite Hosts are a gang of chiseled male models the fashion set has been booking like crazy to saunter around half-naked at their…