• Jon Gosselin brought his daughter a birthday cake that read, "Happy Birthday Maddy" today. The only problem? Her name is spelled "Mady." But it's not "Johnathon's" fault: Entertainment Tonight ordered the cake for him.

• The owner of Cupcake Cafe in New York says that before Jon Gosselin came in with a TV crew to buy his daughter a birthday cake, she got a call from "a person from 'Entertainment Something,' ordering the cake and asking permission to shoot inside the bakery when Jon came in." Jon started checking out cupcakes in the store and was surprised to learn a cake had already been ordered for him. A rep from Entertainment Tonight says says the show didn't pay for the $94 cake. [TMZ]
• Another court date has been set for Jon and Kate Gosselin after their hearing this week was cancelled when the judge's wife died. They'll appear before an arbitrator, who could order Jon to return the money he took from their joint account. Jon has filed papers claiming Kate is the one who looted the account. Jon has also made a deal with a TV show to allow it to film his kids birthday party today even though he doesn't want them to be filmed on Kate Plus 8. Kate's lawyer says, "I've never seen a greater hallmark for hypocrisy personified." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin said of Kate Gosselin appearing in a sketch on The Jay Leno Show last night, "It's messed up, the timing." He added, "What she does on TV, that's her career. I'm happy for her career... I hope she can be happy for my career [and] we can have a career on TV, kind of together, but our kids will come off." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Michael Lohan says an intervention is being planned for Lindsay Lohan because she's addicted to prescription medications including Adderall, Zoloft, anti-anxiety drugs, and bi-polar medication. "Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to be doing things in a pretty public way,"says Michael Lohan, "But Dina has got to get on the same page with me. It's a serious situation. You can't just talk about it and tell me that you want to do an intervention and then do nothing." [Radar Online]
• Supposedly Radar Online has proof that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding wasn't legally binding and Liza Morales, his ex and the mother of his two kids says, "To tell you the truth the whole situation is ‘so out there' and although it still hurts I find it laughable." [Radar Online]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have no plans to go on a honeymoon yet because, "I'm filming, and he has a season until who knows when," says Khloe. [People]
• A police officer testified in the John Travolta case today that Pleasant Bridgewater burned a copy of the extortion document and flushed it down a toilet. [TMZ]
• Angelina Jolie says of her relationship with her formerly estranged father Jon Voight, "We're in contact now and writing letters. My parents gave me a strong social conscience as well as any acting genes I may have." She added that she doesn't want her kids to be raised as, "Children who have 'movie star' parents. I grew up around that myself and I want to make sure ours are removed from it." [The Sun]
• Worldwide Pants says Stephanie Birkitt hasn't been banned from David Letterman's set, she's just on a paid leave of absence. [Extra]
• Joe Halderman, who is accused of trying to blackmail David Letterman, told the paparazzi outside his house that he's "not trying to hide or run, but there's nothing I can say." [TMZ]
• Some Australians are calling Harry Connick Jr. a hypocrite for criticizing a blackface Jackson 5 impersonation on Australian TV last night because they've unearthed a video of Connick impersonating a southern preacher on Mad TV 13 years ago... except Connick isn't playing a black man and isn't wearing blackface. A commenter writes, "If he can get away with that in the US why is a dated and harmless blackface skit on Aussie TV so offensive to him? The man is a hypocrite of the worst kind." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Travis Barker visited the Georgia burn center where he was treated last year after he survived a plane crash. "I'm here to say 'thank you' to everyone who took care of me after the accident," he said. "I was sort of unconscious the last tiem I was here, and I felt like I owed them a big 'thank you.'" [MTV]
• At the link, Method Mad talks to radio personality Big Topper about his time in prison for tax evasion and calls jail, "cool." [Perez Hilton]
• In court yesterday Christie Brinkley and her ex-husband Peter Cook accused each other of violating the terms of their settlement and custody agreements. Cook says, "She is doing everything she can to ruin my relationship with my kids," and Brinkley says he violated their divorce agreement by going on talk shows. [People]
• Peter Andre got into a fight at a hotel bar with Katie' Price's gay friends, who were screaming "childish abuse" at him. [Daily Mail]
• Terry Christian gave La Toya Jackson two unpublished photos of Michael Jackson. Terry said: "I've got two photos for La Toya, one of Michael Jackson and one of the Jackson Five, from my mate in Manchester who was the official photographer on Top Of The Pops for years." [The Mirror]
• A rep for Dr. Phil says he did nothing wrong to the woman who says he held her captive in his offices, forced her to stare at a naked man, and grabbed her breast. He released a statement saying, "Dr. Phil is never alone in the House with any of these guests and all of his interactions are captured on video and/or audio tape. All guests are, of course, free to come and go as they please and once Ms. Dieu expressed her discomfort, and producers ascertained there was nothing they could do to help her, they called a car service to return her to her home." [TMZ]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are in a "race to the alter" ... even though neither is even engaged. [Star]
• Liam Gallagher says, "Oasis is no longer. I think we all know that. So that's done. I know. Without a doubt. And it's a shame, but that's life. We had a good run at it. The thing about Oasis is ... we ended Oasis. No one ended it for us. Which was pretty, kind of ... cool." [The Mirror]
• Jennifer Hudson says of her pregnancy, "David and I were the only people who knew for a long time. I would forget I was pregnant, it was so easy. I didn't have any morning sickness, no cravings either. I just thought, ‘Oh, well, we'll wait until it'll tell on itself.' I didn't show until I was seven months so that made it easy right there." [People]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are back on... but do you care? [People]
• Jon Hamm is featured in the new Reader's Digest in an article called "Tall, Dark, & Wholesome." [ONTD]
• John Cleese says, "I went through a very unpleasant divorce and discovered just how hopeless the American legal system is... For me, most of the things people know me from -Fawlty Towers or A Fish Called Wanda - are things I've been able to write on spec because I had enough money to live. Now I have to pay one million dollars a year until I'm 76. So that means I have to organize my life around earning the first million dollars every year. And the normal sources of income for people like me are drying up. There aren't as many film and TV parts - and you can do interesting documentaries but they don't pay anything. So I'm doing one-man shows and other things." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Valerie Bertinelli says, "I've realized I'm more important than food is. I love a big slice of pizza. But I love myself more. Being thin is about changing the way you think about yourself. It's about saying you deserve to be healthy. In no way have I perfected this eating thing, and I don't know that I ever will. But life is about making progress. It's not about perfection." [People]
• Patrick Stewart told a group of school children that he became interested in acting because going to the movies was an escape from his abusive dad. "My home life wasn't very pleasant, and not fun, so getting out, not being at home, especially to have the opportunity to escape into a fantasy world was bliss," he said. "I hated it when the movie or the Saturday morning ended, and I had to go back to real life. So, in a sense I was being set up for being an actor, for entering this world of make-believe." [The Telegraph]
• Carey Mulligan says of Nick Hornby, who wrote her film An Education, "I'm not surprised, because a lot of the characters he writes in his books, he writes really well. But it is a massive achievement for a male writer to get into the head of a girl of that age and write such a three dimensional lead character. Not a girl who's just an accessory to the story, but actually is the story. It's not surprising because I know how talented he is. I think he did a brilliant job at creating her, being a man and creating this really believable, truthful kind of girl."[Inside Movies]
• "Photo shoots used to make me weep," says Carey Mulligan, "It's easier if I wear something that's not my stuff. It's more of a performance, less about me." [L.A. Times]
• Carey Mulligan says she's adjusting well to being in the United States: "Like, I wish I could say "jackass" and make it sound as cool as an American. I say jackass as, like, [in her British accent] "jahkahs." It just doesn't have the punch. So I've fallen in love with, like, lingo, you know. And New York. I was here for six months last year, and I didn't want to leave then, and this time I don't want to leave. So I don't think I'm going home. I haven't told anyone in London yet." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Peter Sarsgaard says of his character in An Education, who has an affair with a 16-year-old girl, "It didn't seem like he wanted to have sex with her. That was one of my first reactions... I think he actually wants to be her age. I think he thinks he's her age some of the time, and I think he is someone who has a very difficult idea of accepting the circumstances of his own life, and so, like a lot of people-and I mean a lot of people-he is very capable of explaining his life to himself as something that it isn't, and living in a kind of false reality, and living in a bubble of a fantasy. And that's how everybody always ends up doing everything, you know? I mean, there are very few people that wake up every morning and say 'I'm going to do something today that is wrong,' you know? And then go and do it." [Gothamist]

• Ashton Kutcher elaborately pranked CNN and Ted Turner:

He threw a banner with his Twitter name, aplusk, over the CNN neon sign at the Atlanta, GA news center. Earlier in the day, he'd visited a restaurant owned by Ted Turner, Ted's Montana Grill, and, with the help of some friends, neatly stacked hundreds of boxes of Ding Dongs in front of the establishment. Kutcher had challenged CNN to a Twitter race, saying he would donate 10,000 mosquito bed nets to charity for World Malaria Day if he beat CNN, and 1,000 if he lost. CNN agreed to do the same. "CNN lost. That's what happened," Kutcher explained. "I'm just fulfilling a promise I made ... that I'd do this thing and I'm doing it." [CNN]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are indeed having some kind of Kabbalah commitment ceremony, but Jesus's dad says it's not necessarily legally binding: "I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity." Yeah, no way she is letting him near her cash. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse's father says he fears for her life: "After she almost died twice from drug related problems, to see her walking, smiling - she has progressed so much. But now, if it's alcohol instead of hard drugs - I don't think I can go through that again. I've decided to distance myself, and whatever happens, happens. It's her life. It's her career. It's her decision." [Ok! UK]
• Britney Spears is taking her Circus tour to Europe, which means her kids are going, which means Kevin Federline is getting a free trip as well. [E!]
• Oh, nice headline: "Kelly Clarkson And 'K-Fed' Hit The 'Big' Time With Weight Gains." [Gatecrasher]
• Real Housewives feel remorse! Kelly Bensimon is sorry for being obnoxious to Bethenny Frankel: She emailed, "I honestly owe you an apology." Apparently when Kelly went off on Bethenny there were other reasons she was upset: she had an ex-boyfriend "harassing" her "like crazy," she was late because she had to "organize the girls to go to the beach" and, she claims, "My driver who has been with me since I was 23 told me he had terminal cancer." [Page Six]
• The home of Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail, child star of Slumdog Millionaire, has been destroyed by the government. Authorities claim he and other families were squatting on land they did not own, and now, Azharuddin says: "We are homeless, we have nowhere to go." [BBC News]
• In the new Essence, Jennifer Hudson opens up about her murdered mother: "I was always a mama's baby," she says. "I'd go and sleep in her bed until I was 15 years old." Ugh. Sadness! She also says: "The thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is in control. It's like, if He placed me here then I must be prepared." [People]
• Details are leaking out about what really happened the night of the Met Gala: Kiefer Sutherland and Brooke Shields were both drunkety drunk drunk drunk; Jack McCollough did bump into Brooke; she did fall; but it had more to do with the fact that she was wasted and wearing heels. Brooke was fine, but Kiefer "insisted" that McCollough apologize, and then got all nuts and headbutted the designer. Kiefer had blood on his forehead and Brooke was like, "What is that?" A source says: "She thought it was a joke or maybe cherry juice and LICKED IT!!!!!" And! Brooke didn't remember any of it until she read it in the paper the next day. [Perez]
• "Kiefer Sutherland talks Jack Bauer's deathbed and what's next on 24." [LA Times]
• Practice your curtsey: Prince Harry is coming to NYC! [NY Daily News]
• Oh, good: A job for Lindsay Lohan! She'll star in an "indie fantasy comedy" with Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews (?!) and Alanis Morissette (!!). The plot revolves around a grad student who spends the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island and discovers an "eccentric community of characters" hiding a secret. And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away… [Variety]
• Will Olivia Palermo of The City get a "job" at Elle? [Page Six]
• Remember that Absolutely Fabulous remake with Kristin Johnston? Fox "passed" after seeing the pilot. In other words, the project is dead, sweetie darling. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Susan Boyle rode in an airplane for the first time in 8 years, to go from Scotland to London for some voice lessons. This gave the paper permission to call her "The Airy Angel." [The Sun]
• Peaches Geldof was actually heard saying "Don't you know who I am?" while trying to get into a club in London. It didn't work. [Daily Mail]
• Beyoncé and T.I. are the artists with the most BET Award nominations; Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Keri Hilson, Jennifer Hudson, Jazmine Sullivan, Kanye West, Keyshia Cole and Jamie Foxx are also up for prizes. Jamie Foxx hosts; the ceremony is June 28. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Farrah Fawcett's video diary of her struggle with cancer airs tomorrow, but here's a preview. [NY Post]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett recommends the Gosselins of Jon & Kate Plus 8 "get out while they can" and "step off the reality TV gravy train and reclaim their lives." She writes: "Celebrity that comes by way of reality only ends badly. Step away from that sippy cup of confidence that's saying that you can still have the same appeal if you're not together. Apart, you're not the characters those 4.6 million people wanted to watch on TV." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre's split might just be a publicity stunt. Snooze. [Daily Mail]
• Jordan's dressage coach denies being involved with her. Also, LOL pix of Jordan in riding gear. [The Sun]
• This other dressage dude says Jordan's hubs Peter Andre is jealous and always has been. [Daily Mail]
• If you watched American Idol last night, you saw Alicia Keys asking people to text for charity as part of her work for Keep A Child Alive. [AP]
• John Mayer dated this model/actress and she's been babbling and blabbing (blabbling?) about him and how he feels about breaking up with Jennifer Aniston, saying: "He's never really got over it and he still talks about her a lot. He's been playing guitar alone at night, pining over her." Yawn. NEXT. [Perez]
• John Mayer once texted starlet Jessie James, "Let me tuck you in. I want to see you." [Page Six]
• If you liked Cornify, you might like to Kanyefy, with the Kanye West shutter-shades inspired Kanye Vision Bookmarklet. OMG what happens if you use them together?!?!? [F.A.T.]
• Well now I feel really really old: It's the 20th anniversary of Lenny Kravitz's debut album, Let Love Rule. He's celebrating by issuing a remaster with additional material, and says: "If you had asked me 20 years ago if I thought the world would be a better place in 20 years, I would have thought yeah, I would have thought that we'd have some kind of evolution even if it was minimal, but in actuality we are in a much worse place as a global community and as just the planet earth, itself, environmentally as well. I'm not less hopeful. I take the position of remaining optimistic but there's a much deeper hill to climb." [AP]
• Whoa: Mel Gibson paid his wife to stay quiet about their separation, which happened three years ago. He agreed to give her $52 million per year. For that amount of cash, I won't say another word about you Mel. Honest! [MSNBC]
• Rob Lowe and one of his former nannies have both decided to dismiss their lawsuits against each other; Lowe is still in another legal battle with a different nanny. [People]
• Barbra Streisand's ex, Jon Peters, is spilling secrets about how the diva was sexually abused by a slimy movie mogul and had affairs with three of her leading men. [Page Six]
• Cheers star John Ratzenberger has filed a restraining order against his 45-year-old ex girlfriend because she has "indicated that it is common in many country western songs for women to set the cars of their former boyfriends on fire." [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which infamously perverted actor should start checking his dates' IDs? He may not realize that he recently went out with some serious jailbait!" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's known that Jenny Craig has the best tasting food. That's just a fact." — Valerie Bertinelli. [ABC News]
• "That's such a tough question. I would say, probably something in the health industry. It's too late to go to medical school. I'd travel. I'd go back to the years that I never did what I'd wish I'd done, which was travel Europe and backpack. That sounds slightly romantic. What I would do? I don't know. Maybe become a chef. There's so much more to do. It's almost overwhelming. I've gotten to a great place in my career." — Jennifer Aniston, when asked what she would do if she could ditch acting for some other pursuit. [USA Today]
• "I am a real threat to cover 'White Christmas' this year. I'm warning you now: I'm ready, cocked and loaded." — Iggy Pop, to Relix. [Page Six]
• "[Sunglasses] are seriously useful. I can sit in a show and if I am bored out of my mind, nobody will notice… At this point, they have become, really, armor." — Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• "I'm a completely different person than Lauren. I have a lot more energy. I'm more outgoing. I'm a little more spontaneous. And she has a boyfriend so she's not dating on the show. I'm very open to dating and finding a guy." — Kristin Cavallari, who is the new star of The Hills. [EW]

• When Carrie Prejean said she was against gay marriage because "that's how I've been raised by my mother" she wasn't kidding. During her parents divorce, both parents hurled accusations of homosexuality at the other side.

• Her parents filed for divorce in 1988 and now TMZ has routed through more than ten years of divorce and custody lawsuits. In one document, Carrie's dad said, "Ms. Prejean accused me, in front of our daughter, of homosexuality." A court appointed doctor said, "The mother questioned [within hearing of the girls] whether [her father] was a homosexual or had a homosexual roommate." Another counselor said, "The mother also alleges the father told the girls their stepfather was gay, that all men with mustaches are gay." [TMZ]
• Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA franchise, will hold a press conference on Tuesday to discuss the fate of Miss California Carrie Prejean. [Perez Hilton]
• Kiefer Sutherland was supposed to turn himself in to police today for headbutting designer Jack McCollough and get what is basically a ticket to appear for an arraignment at a later date. But, it's not clear if a non-resident can do this, so he may be arrested, taken into custody, and arraigned immediately. [TMZ]
• As if having her brother give a lengthy interview to Us alleging that she's having an affair with Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 wasn't bad enough, now one of Deanna Hummel's ex-boyfriends has set up a website to try to sell the amateur sex tape he made with the elementary school teacher. The site features several screen grabs of a woman he claims is Hummel having sex. He writes, "The Deanna I knew wasn't above cheating, even with married men, hence our eventual breakup. During our time together we made a secret amateur sex tape. It wasn't a hidden cam or anything, she was totally aware of the fact that I was taping ... I am shopping this tape and am currently in negotiations with sites like porn.com about selling it." [Perez Hilton]
• Over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan flew to Montreal for an appearance at a nightclub. She was detained at the airport by Canadian officials who considered banning her from Canada due to her DUI convictions. After an hour-long interrogation, they let her in. [Jam]
• Chris Brown's lawyer has filed a discovery motion stating that, asking for written statements and reports from the LAPD regarding the photo of a beaten Rihanna. He writes, "I intend to use such evidence at the preliminary hearing to attack their credibility. The defense intends to prove and argue that the afore-mentioned officers are not credible and that the Court should not believe some of their statements," and adds, "I believe there is a reasonable likelihood that the case will be dismissed at the preliminary hearing." [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey's crew toured Susan Boyle's home in Scotland for an episode that will air on Monday. Boyle is expected to Skype in. [E!]
• Singer Cassie's computer was hacked and now topless pictures of her are circulating on the internet. Her Twitter response is awesome: "IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER...THAT'S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE." [Fleshbot (NSFW)]
• Jennifer Aniston stopped speaking to her mother, Nancy Dow, when her book From Mother And Daughter To Friends: A Memoir was published in 1999, but now Jen says the feud is over. She says of their relationship, "It's good. It's OK. Things are now fine between us. All of that is over, and we're in touch with one another. Today Mom has moved from California and she's living in Colorado, and we speak, and it's all over." [The Daily Express]
• This summer Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child will head to London to star as Roxie Hart in the musical Chicago. [The Daily Express]
• Fire trucks and ambulances rushed to Cher's house because someone hit the panic button, but it turns out someone working on her alarm system hit it accidentally. A law enforcement source said in Malibu, that happens a lot. [TMZ]
• Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes are back together. [The Daily Mail]
• Lynyrd Skynyrd bassist Ean Evans has died after a long battle with cancer. In January, the band's former keyboardist, Billy Powell, also died. [TMZ]
• Anne Hathaway used to live in a $37,500-a-month rented Trump Tower penthouse when she was dating scam artist Raffaello Follieri. Now she lives in the Avalon Bowery rental complex, where one-bedrooms start around $4,000 per month. [NY Post]
• Mary Stuart Masterson and her husband Jeremy Davidson are expecting their first child together. [People]
• Michelle Obama is getting her own permanent page on People's website. [Time]
• Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus of Abba have released several new singles, their first new pop songs in more than 15 years. [BBC]
• Goldie Hawn met with Ted Kennedy's staff today. [Politico]
• Jessica Alba, Keri Russell, and Chris Rock's wife Malaak Compton-Rock are in Washington, D.C., talking to legislators about affordable health care. [Politico]
• David Lynch is launching Interview Project on June 1, a black-and-white online video series, he describes as "a road-trip where people have been found and interviewed … hundreds of people." [NY Magazine]
• Peaches Geldof has been threatened with legal action because she didn't pay the $575.60 gas bill for her New York apartment. [The Daily Mail]
• Liam Neeson made his first public speaking appearance since the death of his wife, Natasha Richardson, to accept an award from his alma mater, Queens University Belfast. Liam quoted poet Paul Muldoon at the ceremony, saying art "builds from pain, from misery, from a deep-seated hurt, a monument to the human heart that shines like a golden dome among roofs rain-glazed and leaden," and adding, "I think it is a message that a university always gives its students in the end: It's time to move on, get on with your life. I got on with mine, and I'm still getting on." [Entertainment Tonight]
• In response to Kirstie Alley complaining to Oprah that Valerie Bertinelli lost weight while she put on 83 pounds, Bertinelli says, "She should come work out with me! She should remember you can't do everything in one day [and] her exercise has to be consistent. She can do this. There's no doubt in my mind." [People]
• Today The New York Times ran a story about an increasingly popular technique in which actors use Jungian theories of dream interpretation to try to act their roles in their dreams before playing them in real life. "We do some things that might be construed as voodoo, but nevertheless it gets results," says Harvey Keitel in the story. "I question everything, but I haven't been able to puncture any holes in this dream workshop." [NY Times]
• This weekend PBS is running the BBC miniseries Wallander, starring Kenneth Branagh as a "physically bloated, emotionally broken and proudly Swedish detective." Branagh says, "The great thing about Wallander is that he is an extreme and flawed version of parts of all our own personalities, I think of him as an everyman. He is sort of an antihero. He could take better care of himself physically, in terms of his personal wardrobe. He might make more of an effort. He might dress for success a little more, be a little aware. I know he wants to have a relationship. God! I'm talking as if I'd been on the phone with him." [Yahoo]
• Lily Allen says, "People always go: 'God, you're so outspoken' … That's like someone speaking out of place. If someone asks me a question, I'm going to answer … I don't protect myself." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Earlier this week Rosie Perez went on NPR to talk about gentrification in Brooklyn, where she grew up and still lives. She said, "When I walk out of my house, I used to know everyone on my block in Clinton Hill. I walk out there now, people move away from me because I'm a person of color and then once they recognize me, they go, oh. That's a horrible feeling. That's a feeling I didn't grow up with." Now she says, "Let me tell you, since I said that [on the radio], now everybody is saying hello to me. Be careful what you wish for." [NY Magazine]
• Keith Urban says of the paparazzi, "I'm as protective of my family as any father and husband can be. It can be just a bit intrusive, you know," adding that he and Nicole Kidman "what we can to keep (Sunday Rose) safe, because she didn't choose to come into this lifestyle. It's just what her mother and I do, so we do what we can to try and keep some civility about the whole thing." [Yahoo]
• When Trent Reznor was asked if he has any unreleased Nine Inch Nails recordings, he said, "I'm not Prince or Rivers Cuomo, who brags about having hundreds of great songs. And to that I would say, ‘Prince, if you have a hundred great songs or a thousand, how about picking a few and putting them on your record that you've put out, because your last several have sucked.' Same for you, Rivers. I say that constructively, you know." He then added, "I may be happy and engaged but I can still be a prick." [Rolling Stone]
• Elizabeth Hurley has some sex tips for you, if you're heading to the English countryside. "Next time you go to someone's house in the country, be sure to check out if they have warm, possibly fluffy, rugs in front of their fire. No prizes for guessing why they're there! I can also shyly confess to having two sheepskin rugs in front of all my fireplaces!" she said, "When I close my eyes and think of England, I'm not in a fancy restaurant in Knightsbridge, but am instead lolling, scantily clad, in front of a roaring fire." [The Sun]
• In a parentdish.com poll, Jennifer Garner was voted the top celebrity mother, beating out Michelle Obama and Reese Witherspoon. [The Star]
• Gisele Bundchen said of planning her two secret weddings to Tom Brady, "We tried very hard to keep it private. Oh my God, you have no idea how hard that was." She added that they didn't even know the scuffle between security and the paparazzi was going on. "The next day people were calling, and I'm like, 'I don't know what you're talking about.' I didn't even know it was happening. Later on, I was like, 'What? What happened on my day?' " [People]
• Michael Caine explains why he's still in movies, even though he claims he's retired. "I do very few movies now, and I wait for ... what I call to myself 'the offer I can't refuse.' It doesn't have anything to do with money, it's just a script I can't refuse," he said. [CNN]
• Tilda Swinton was asked about what she drinks when she goes out, because she's playing an alcoholic in Julia. She said: "This is where I have to come out of the closet and declare that I do not drink. If I'm around champagne drinkers, my drink is ginger ale. Because it means that I can look like I'm jolly and pretend to be getting drunk as well. I become infected by other peoples' drunkenness. And when I came to play the drunkenness in Julia, I realized that it was actually very easy for me because I'd been pretending to be drunk around my friends for years. Just getting high off their highness. But then the great thing is then I'm sober so when the police are called I just let them in tell turn the music down and send everybody home." [BlackBook]

• Before we tackle today's inevitable layoffs, liquidations and bankruptcies, look at David Beckham. Look at semi-naked David Beckham. In his very important new Emporio Armani ad. Why, good morning to you, Dave. [People]

• Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, clothing lines whose main qualification as same is the attachment of a famous name are not faring well in the downturn. (Please, let someone therefore piece it together that continuing to announce B-List Star for Major Middle Market Retailer arrangements isn't a recession-proof move.) [AdAge]
• Unfortunately, the news came too late to stop Hilary Duff for DKNY Jeans... [WWD]
• ...and to stop Jessica Alba from dipping her toe into the designer waters. [Fashionista]
• And Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen menswear. (OK, so The Row technically should get a pass for being, actually, kinda good, but it's the principle of the thing.) [Elle]
• But getting a celebrity to wear your dress on a red carpet is still worth a starlet's weight in gold. [WSJ]
• The recession will not, however, kill Spanx, which had sales volume of over $350 million last year. Because while the shitty economy is temporary, hating your body enough to want to squeeze and yank and pull it into a girdle is forever. [Reuters]
• The economic situation is making it tougher perhaps than ever for young designers who were in the midst of expanding in line with pre-recession demand and fanfare. [NY Times]
• Esprit has reported its first interim drop in profits in ten years. Sales are slow worldwide, and particularly so in Europe. [Financial Times]
• Estee Lauder's second-quarter profits are also down by 30%. The company will restructure 2,000 workers out of working existence. [The Street]
• Elizabeth Arden, however, beat analysts' expectations for the second quarter by 2 cents a share. Sales still fell 12.7% and net profit was down from $33.8 million one year ago to $17.4 million now. [Reuters]
• A handful more details about the Mathew Williamson line for Target: it launches on April 23, it will be colorful (which, frankly, if anything at all comes to mind when you think "Mathew Williamson" you already knew), and in addition to the regular frocks and tops, there'll be jumpsuits. Controversial move! [Blackbook]
• Kim Gordon discusses her line for Urban Outfitters, Mirror/Dash, with the New York Times, but although they hit stores on February 16, there's only one picture of the actual clothes. She's surprisingly realistic about Mirror/Dash's design process — she admits she doesn't actually sketch so much as talk about fabric and "ideas" with her partner before sending away to Urban Outfitters' sample houses. [The Moment]
• Never to be outdone by Vogue and its eyebrow-raising Sean Avery internship, Elle now has for an intern the fashlete (did I just make that up? I think I did. Let's go with it!) Stew Bradley, an actual Philadelphia Eagle. May he cherish the coffee-schlepping, xeroxing, and sexual harassment that are the hallmarks of any true New York media internship. [The Cut]
• Except, on his first day, Bradley went to lunch with Diana Ross, Diane von Furstenberg, Jessica Alba, Jason Wu, Anil Kapoor Veronica Webb, Eva Amurri, John Frey, Roberta Myers, Joe Zee, Anne Slowey, Whitney Port, and Olivia Palermo. At Diane von Furstenberg's studio. [WWD]
• Now, if she'd only worn her favorite label, Carhartt, on the campaign trail, Sarah Palin might have had a shot at the Brooklyn hipster vote! [US News]
• Janie Bryant, the costume designer for Mad Men, is crafting a contemporary, not vintage, clothing line. And that's about all she's willing to say just now. [WSJ]
• High-end Baltimore fabric store Michael's Fabrics says it has the lemongrass embroidered wool Isabel Toledo used to create Michelle Obama's inauguration day outfit. It's 33" wide and yours for a mere $500 a yard. Just in case you want to whip a dress up at home. [Unbeige]
• Isabel Toledo is still reeling from the media attention following dressing Michelle Obama. (Her husband, the fashion illustrator Ruben Toledo, calls it "Obamathon.") An exhibition of her dresses is going up at the museum at FIT in June. [WWD]
• Monique Lhuillier is introducing a new, more moderately priced line for fall. Given her regular dresses retail for $3,000-$7,000, "moderately priced" in this sentence means around $2,500. [WSJ]
• The Washington Post saw Jill Biden and her security detail nip into Bloomingdale's to buy some Tory Burch shoes. [Washington Post]
• UK Elle has Vivienne Westwood's handwritten "manifesto," and it includes such worthwhile tips as "DIY Suggestions: Necklace of safety pins" and the reminder "We need an estimated $30 billion per year to save the rainforest. $30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000etc-->" Also, she believes Leonard Peltier is innocent. [Elle]
• PETA Photoshopped a Pinocchio nose on to Giorgio Armani's face for a full-page ad in Variety after the scrappy perma-tanned Italian allegedly went back on his word after pledging to no longer use fur in his collections. Armani's people say they use only rabbit fur from animals raised for meat. [New York Daily News]
• Now, this should be fun: Lynda Carter, Valerie Bertinelli, Katie Couric, Natya Liukin, Jennie Garth, and Tori Spelling are among those modeling for a fashion week show dedicated to heart health. Designers include Christian Siriano, Carolina Herrera, and those guys at Badgley Mischka. [WWD]

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• Jamie Lynn Spears will be a guest star on an ABC comedy called Miss Guided, premiering March 20. Judy Greer stars in the sit com and JLS (who wasn't knocked up when she shot the show) plays a troubled student; Ashton Kutcher also guest stars. They really really really want people to watch. [People]
• Scott Weiland pleaded innocent to his DUI charge. He's free on bail and goes to court April 4. [Reuters]
• Jack Osbourne: Sings like his dad. At least when doing karaoke. [Page Six]
• Josh Kelly on those pix of he and Katherine Heigl and the moving truck: "Katherine and I are moving boxes and furniture into our new house in LA and this gang of photographers were there snapping away at us. So I say to them, 'You guys are just going to sit there taking pictures, making money while we bust our asses?'" That's when the paparazzi started lifting boxes. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would not have a kid if it weren't for herbal supplement Airborne, cough cough. [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven continues to hit on women everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?" [Rush & Molloy]
• The court has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney to July 31; though it could end earlier if Brit's mental state keeps improving and stabilizes. It seems like she's in a good place, here's to hoping she keeps it up! [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi allegedly says, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her." Sure, sure. [MSNBC]
• Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkley will host Bravo's new show, Step It Up & Dance. But will she keep her clothes on? [TMZ]
• That boy from American Idol with the pretty pretty lips went to a school for "at-risk" kids and had "issues" or something. Wow, his lips are so pretty. [TMZ]
• Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen's undisclosed health crisis: "I really don't think it's anybody's business." [People]
• Producer Linda Perry is suing over royalties she's owed from James Blunt's album. [Reuters]
• The True Colors Tour is coming! Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s and, um, Carson Kressley. [USA Today]
• Lily Allen won't play the Isle of Wight Festival in the UK because her new album is behind schedule. But leave her alone, she's been through a lot. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the memorial service of Heidi's stepbrother yesterday; he died after slipping off of a roof and was a veteran of combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, 19, will be a virgin until she gets married. She also does not drink, smoke or do drugs. Goody two-shoes. What do you do? [People]
• Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is a "fat-fighting guru" for a new TV show in the UK. She will help mere, common people with their weight issues. [BBC News]
• Jerry O'Connell will take part in a race across the Scottish Highlands. Kayaking, rappelling and that kind of stuff is involved, yet the race is sponsored by a liquor. Interesting. [UPI]
• Bruce Willis is a stoner. [Perez Hilton]
• Producers from The View are not wooing Cindy Crawford, which is too bad. [MSNBC]
• MTV won't air the new Gnarls Barkley video featuring Justin Timberlake because it could trigger an epileptic seizure. View at your own risk! [MSNBC]
• Danny Bonaduce will host a child star reality show, on VH1, which sounds healthy. Not. [UPI]
• Death threats against Daniel Radcliffe? How could anyone hate Harry Potter? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• You know John Waters' Cry-Baby is coming to Broadway, right? (I am so there.) [Page Six]

Earlier: Tina Yothers Ate Carrot Sticks On The Set Of Family Ties

• Jennifer Lopez finally gave birth to her twins: She and Marc Anthony are the proud parents of a boy and a girl. The names have not yet been announced, but we're hoping they don't pick Jenny Jr. and Marc Jr. How about something like Luz and Libertad? [People]
  
• The 5-pound, 7-ounce girl arrived first, followed by her 6-pound brother minutes later. Jennifer and Marc are "thrilled and over the moon." [CNN]
  
• Amy Winehouse "trashed" her hotel room before the Brit Awards: Booze was spilled, cigarette butts were scattered, bottles of champagne and "unwashed knickers" were all over the floor. She also blackened the tub by using it to dye her hive. And there was a large mirror taken off the wall and lying on the floor. She's only a half-naked groupie shy of the full rock cliché box set! [The Sun]
  
• The restraining order finally served to Sam Lutfi means he must not contact Britney — including via telephone — through March 17. Progress! [TMZ]
  
• A bartender at NYC hotspot Socialista has hepatitis A, so Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Salma Hayek, Kate Hudson and Bruce Willis had better get shots! [Page Six]
  
• Hip-hop mogul Damon Dash during the lunar eclipse: "I'm a little scared." LOL. [Page Six]

• Dating Natalie Portman a while back made Moby "a target of a lot of nerd wrath." Poor baby! [Page Six]
• Prince is throwing a post-Oscars bash! Expected guests include Katie and Tom, Will Smith, Salma and Penelope. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which member of the Black Enterprise 'Top 25 Hollywood Money Makers,' whose sexuality long has been in question by fans, was seen trying not to be seen with a same sex pal at an L.A. restaurant Wednesday evening? "They were trying not to look like they were together, but they looked together," says a witness." [Gatecrasher]
• Aaron Carter, 20, was pulled over for speeding in Texas and cops found two ounces of marijuana in his car, uh-oh. Not found: His career. [TMZ]
• Heather Mills is on FHM's list of the world's most sexiest women. She's 95th, but that's ahead of Gwen Stefani, Paris Hilton and Kirsten Dunst. [Mirror]
• Does Lindsay Lohan have a new man? Does she love anyone as much as she loves leggings? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé is going to play legendary singer Etta James in an upcoming film; Ms. James says, "It's a privilege and an honor to have somebody like that girl. I don't think she looks like me, but that's all right. I wasn't as bourgie as she is, she's bourgeois. She knows how to be a lady, she's like a model. I wasn't like that... I smoked in the bathroom in school, I was kinda arrogant, so those are some of the things I would want to tell her." [Concrete Loop]
• Angelina and Brad are cohosts of an Oscar party on Saturday — and so is Jennifer Aniston. The bash is being held by the pool of the Beverly Hills Hotel, we can only dream of a scenario in which the ladies wrestle and fall into the water, then Brad has to strip down and break them apart. What? It could happen. [MSNBC]
• An entertainment news agency has apologized to Will Smith for distributing a story alleging he called Adolf Hitler a "good person." [Guardian]
• A portrait of Heath Ledger is up for a prominent art prize in Australia. The portrait was painted by Heath's friend Vincent Fantauzzo, who says, "When you paint someone, you meditate over them. I was painting Heath every day for 10 hours a day." [People]
• Harrison Ford blames his decision to sport an earring on Jimmy Buffet and Ed Bradley. [UPI]
• Valerie Bertinelli says she and Eddie Van Halen cheated on each other, if you care. [People]
• Delta Burke, who checked into a psychiatric hospital in January, says she suffered from anxiety as early as kindergarten. Also: Her hoarding is a problem! "At one time I had 27 storage units. I don't have a big enough house!" she claims. "My mom had it, it's my mother's fault. She saved the diaper I came home from the hospital in!" [USA Today]
• OMG Tori Spelling's autobiography is gonna be awesome! On Shannen Doherty: "Shannen had everything, but she could be arrogant and carefree. Jennie [Garth] was outspoken when she thought Shannen was out of line. Sometimes they got along, but there were explosions. Once they got into a fistfight. A night with [Shannen] meant going to the hottest club and drinking until the early hours. I knew she was a 'bad influence,' but I liked her anyway." [Perez Hilton]