Why the Hell Are There So Many High School Valedictorians?

Like cicadas, law school graduates working as bartenders, feral cats prowling the abandoned alleyways of Detroit, and people who say they’ve read Infinite Jest but have only really skimmed the first 50 pages, it would seem our society currently contains far too-many high school valedictorians. Depending on your level… » 6/02/13 2:30pm 6/02/13 2:30pm

Homeless Teenage Girl Graduates as Valedictorian, Is a Total Badass

What was your excuse for not being valedictorian of your high school graduating class? Mine was Law & Order. Those weekday marathons sucked me in within minutes, and before I knew it, it was 11pm and all I had learned about human anatomy was what Detective Briscoe and the medical examiner had discussed over the dead… » 5/24/13 12:10pm 5/24/13 12:10pm