To read more about the clips on the list, and to see longer versions, click the links.

10.) Oprah Teaches Us How To Smile With Our Vajayjays

9.) What Exactly Is Wrong With Gary Coleman?

8.) Martha Stewart & Jane Goodall's Goofy Gorilla Greetings Sound Like Crazy Sex

7.) Girl After Our Own Drunken, Period-Sexed Hearts Crashes Tyra

6.) Tyra's "Modelville": Sore Loser Fails To Escape From The Set

5.) Was Kathleen Turner Soused On Martha Stewart?

4.) Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen Are The Most Boring Guests Oprah Has Ever Interviewed

3.) Father Gives Daughter Bikini Waxes, Rides To Work At A Brothel

2.) Diane Keaton Drops The F-Bomb On Good Morning America

1.) Maury Povitch Tortures Woman With Painful Cotton Ball Phobia

The slant of this writer's letters range from somewhat left to somewhat right, plus straight up and down. These slants indicate emotional moods that can range from solitary and self-involved, to un-impulsive and logical, to somewhat outgoing. One may never know from moment to moment which of those moods will dominate.

There are hooks at the beginning and ends of many letters including the lower case Ys and Fs. This is a writer who grasps to own things and once they're gotten they won't be let go without a terrible struggle.

The writer is a methodical, detail-oriented thinker who takes time with getting things right. Goals are set where they are easy for the writer to reach without much stretching.

There is tendency of this writer to make "gut" decisions, which is another way of saying intuition. Intuition speeds up the thinking of a methodical thinker so that the methodical thinker can compete with much faster thinkers. This writer uses intuition on occasion, but may not trust it entirely. In the same vein, this writer is sometimes open to new ideas, and sometimes preconceptions and fears clog the arteries of communication (narrowed loops in some Es).

One of the things that "touched" Tyra was hearing that a 28-year-old registered nurse had never gotten a gynecological exam. So TyTy went with her to help ease her nerves. And she brought a camera and crew with her...into the effing exam room! Could you imagine what it must've been like to have this woman with you when you had no pants on?

So the thing that really pissed me off was that we had to fill out these diagrams of a vagina while waiting to enter the studio. Then, once we were seated for the taping, the PAs collected them from us in large shopping bags and carted them away. Approximately 4 minutes later, Tyra started a segment in which she says that the studio audience was tested and the results were tallied and that only 11% of us knew what all the parts of the vagina are.

There's just no way that happened. Why did they bother having us fill that shit out anyway? It's fine that they wanted to make it look organic in a way, but then I was sort of offended when Tyra was like berating the audience about it, like we're the idiots.

I was really psyched that Moe, Jennifer and I actually made it on camera a bunch of times. But Moe was the only one blessed enough to actually be in the same frame as Tyra. That's Moe, top-right.

Seriously, if that were me I'd make it my Christmas card. I guess the only thing left to do is live vicariously:

Well, unless you count this shot:

That's a framer:

The View did a pre-taped Halloween episode on which they transformed the studio into the Cotton Club, and the panelists as well as the audience dressed all '20s. By the way she walked and the look on her face, didn't B. Dubs look more like a zombie than a showgirl?

Oh, and you know who else looked scary, albeit unintentionally? Ethan Hawke. The man is not aging well at all. And seriously, that stage has glowing, sophisticated lighting meant to flatter a 78-year-old woman, and he still look haggard...at 36!

That has to be from smoking so heavily, right? He said that he's obsessed with his obituary because it's a "good way to make your decisions." I think he should be obsessed with it because it'll probs be published somewhere sooner than he thinks, by the looks of things, and when I say "things" I mean those crow's feet marching across his entire damn face.

Hmm...What else was scary last week? Oh yeah, duh. Her:

Yes, you, Tyra!

So there was that big, two-episode "Tyra's Bodyville" mess that was supposed to be an experiment on body image, but really was a lesson in how important social hierarchy among a group of women is when producing inane segments for a former-super model's vanity project.

The intention of the show was that people tend to judge a book by its cover...or the way it fills out a nude suit. In the second hour of the show, Tyra gave the women a bunch of job titles, and they were to assign them to each other, based on body image, although the girls didn't really follow those directions.

Check out the career options Tyra gave them:
Phone sex operator
Waitress
Maid
Flight Attendant
Janitor
Stripper
Bus Driver
Fast Food Worker
Actress
And then C.E.O is thrown in there to balance it all out.

I'm so glad she spent two hours last week on how horrible it is to stereotype women, only to...stereotype women.

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What Did You Call It? [NY Times]