Nursing-home kitty Oscar the Cat (aka 'The Grim Reaper' of felines) is predicting nursing-home deaths at a facility in Rhode Island with almost 100% accuracy. [Breitbart]
We find it hard to feel the same empathy we had for the whales and the dolphins for the giant squid invading California with impunity. [USA Today]

Eva Mendes Doesn't Have To Hate Herself 'Cause She Knows She's Hot

Jennifer

7/23/07 6:36pm

Aw! Eva Mendes says it's easy to get all "critical" of yourself when you're on the red carpet but that she doesn't let herself "fall into that" — but that's she also "thankful" for her "nice physique"! Pretty sad if this counts as having positive body image nowadays. [People]
In poor England it's all water, water…

Things That May Or May Not Surprise You: We Don't Like Bush, We Do Like Harry Potter

Jennifer

7/20/07 8:45pm

Harry Potter! Yup, we pre-ordered our copy of the last-ever Harry Potter book. And we get to pick it up at 12:01 am tonight. We're super nervous about what's going to happen, too. We think that Snape isn't evil though. But we have a sneaking suspicion Harry is going to die. And we will be reading it all weekend to…

Bill Clinton: Come Write With Us

Jennifer

7/19/07 6:35pm

Bill Clinton has begun blogging! Just like us! We wonder if he'll do hungover Friday tomorrow too! [Clinton Foundation]
We've always really liked Craig Ferguson. Now we have to like him less: He's dating Sharon Stone. Anna's heart just broke. [The Daily Blabber]
A judge has dismissed Valerie Plame's lawsuit against the…

Oprah Pushing The Finding-A-Moral Agenda A Little Too Hard

Jennifer

7/18/07 6:55pm

Oprah's golden retriever Gracie died in May after an unfortunate choking incident and still Oprah is talking about it, only now she's putting that Oprah-branded spin on it saying that Gracie's death was really a hidden message that she needed to slow down and take more time to appreciate her own life. Seriously, we…

We Wish We'd Bought A 'Free Winona' T-Shirt Way Back When

Jennifer

7/17/07 7:05pm

Winona Ryder is speaking out now about her shoplifting. Honestly? No one gives a shit. [People]
In the UK, one in four 18-to-25-year olds cannot answer the following question: What is one eighth of 32? [BBC]
Al-Qaeda said to be "stepping-up" its presence in the U.S. Please God, no one tell Elisabeth Hasselbeck. The…

Simpsons Graffiti On Pagan Fields: Cute, But Where's Homer's Cock?

Jennifer

7/16/07 7:00pm

We were feeling kinda blue today. Then we saw this. [Boing Boing]
Now that Isaiah Washington has a new job maybe he'll stop his pointless bitching. The former Grey's Anatomy cast member been cast in 5 episodes of the upcoming TV show based on The Bionic Woman. [E!]
In the UK curry laced with ecstasy = attempted murder.…

Britney As Whitney? God Help Us.

Jennifer

7/12/07 6:45pm

Britney Spears to star in remake of The Bodyguard! Oh wait, phew. Joke! [Best Week Ever]
The verdict is in: Miss New Jersey can stay Miss New Jersey, even though she's a (only sorta) dirty girl. [CNN]
A helpful hint: Don't eat steamed buns off the street in China. They're made of cardboard. [CBS]
What's your virginity…

R.I.P. Lady Bird

Jennifer

7/11/07 7:10pm

America's best-monikered First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson, died this afternoon at the age of 94. She was one of the first people (sorry, Al!) to bring environmentalism center-stage. [CBS News]
Queen Elizabeth got huffy with photographer Annie Leibowitz. [USAToday]
UN Secretary General offers up the following deep thought:…

And Again We Say: Paris Hilton Must Be Stopped

Jennifer

7/06/07 6:40pm

We said it eight hours ago and we'll say it again: God is dead. Because Paris Hilton has a Teen Choice Award nomination. [TMZ]
Note to self: Not nice to attack people with stilettos. [BBC]
Second note to self: Stop talking on phone about how awesome it is that Bush is going to go to jail for wire-tapping. 'Cause he's…

Al Gore Not Running For President, Son In Rehab: Coincidence? We Think Not

Jennifer

7/05/07 7:15pm

Al "I'm The Man Who Was Elected President, But Whatever I'm A Movie Star Now" Gore has "fallen out of love" with politics, he says. And thus will not be running for president... again. If this is true, what a drama queen! If this isn't true, what an even bigger drama queen! Simmer down, Al! (And if you need some help…

Christina Aguilera To Bring "Dirrty", "Beautiful" Babe Into The World

Jennifer

7/03/07 7:15pm

Christina Aguilera is in the family way! Just like with a genie in a bottle, her husband rubbed her the right way. The baby-making way. [E!]
Isaiah Washington's verbal diarrhea of the day: He now says Patrick Dempsey is to blame for his spewing of hate speech. [ABC News]
R.I.P Beverly Sills. And big thanks to our Intro…

No Jail For Libby, No Hot Wife For Salman, and Pam Anderson Lived To See 40: What Kind Of A World Do We Live In?

Jennifer

7/02/07 6:59pm

There is no justice in the world: President Bush has commuted Scooter Libby's jail sentence. [MSNBC]
Pam Anderson is 40. And we are speechless. [People]
Looking for a little real estate to invest in? How about Dracula's castle in Transylvania? It's the summer home that comes with vampires! (Garlic bulbs not included). [

Isaiah Washington Needs To Stick A Sock — Or Some Other Implement — In It

Jennifer

6/28/07 7:10pm

Isaiah Washington — for the love of God — please keep your mouth shut. The latest from everyone's favorite fired homophobe? That ABC lied when saying that he had gone to rehab since "there is no rehab for homophobia." (Thanks to Slut Machine for this awesome graphic.) [People]
New studies show that domestic cats are…

Oprah Winfrey Really Is Taking Over The World

Jennifer

6/27/07 7:06pm

Does she not have enough money already? Oprah Winfrey is opening her own store. [Hollywood Reporter]
The Bush Administration has been subpoenaed for illegal wiretapping. The moment we heard this we called our mom and screamed with joy — because if anyone's being wiretapped it's us. [BBC]
1/3 of the Jezebel…

This Is Your Cornfield On Coke

Jennifer

6/26/07 7:45pm

What happens when you're high on coke and eluding cops in a cornfield? Some maize-y shit! [Daily Mail]
Proving himself to be the poster child for special-needs reptiles everywhere, a one-eyed alligator attacked a golfer in Florida today. Both man and gator are doing fine. [CNN]
Penguins used to be almost 5 ft tall!…

Lohan To Rejoin Her Coke-Filled Community One 12-Step At A Time

Jennifer

6/25/07 7:07pm

Lindsay Lohan signs up for a Promises outpatient program designed to enable her to "transition" back into her "community"...of cokehead pseudo-socialites. [People.com]
France snubs Turkey in EU talks. We think this has to do with Istanbul beating out Paris in that Newsweek story on "fashion forward" cities. [BBC]
The…

George Clooney: White Knight To Rich Folk Vacationing in Italy

Jennifer

6/22/07 7:15pm

George Clooney, champion of rich folk with vacation homes everywhere!, protests new construction developments in a small Northern Italian town. Where he has a home. Because he fears the new developments...would turn it into a tourist trap? And then his pretty movie star home wouldn't be a pretty movie star home any…

John Travolta Can Blow Us. Really.

Jennifer

6/20/07 6:59pm

John Travolta goes all Tom Cruise and says to 'just say no' to psychiatric drugs. Believe us, we've tried. And all that happened was a lot of crying and a lot of weight-gain. [ABC News]
Fatwa, shmatwa: Salman Rushdie will get knighted, despite outcry from Pakistani community. We say this will definitely make Top Chef…

Isaiah Washington Should Maybe Not Feel Quite So Sorry For Himself

Jennifer

6/18/07 6:55pm

Shamed and fired former Grey's Anatomy cast member/homophobe Isaiah Washington tells the media he is getting by post-ousting by staying focused on his "day-to-day" life. And somewhere in prison Paris Hilton gets to call "First World Problems" for the very first time in her life. [People.com]
Former Enron Broadband CEO…

Bunnies & Kitties & Squid, Oh My

Eva Mendes Doesn't Have To Hate Herself 'Cause She Knows She's Hot

Things That May Or May Not Surprise You: We Don't Like Bush, We Do Like Harry Potter

Bill Clinton: Come Write With Us

Oprah Pushing The Finding-A-Moral Agenda A Little Too Hard

We Wish We'd Bought A 'Free Winona' T-Shirt Way Back When

Simpsons Graffiti On Pagan Fields: Cute, But Where's Homer's Cock?

Britney As Whitney? God Help Us.

R.I.P. Lady Bird

And Again We Say: Paris Hilton Must Be Stopped

Al Gore Not Running For President, Son In Rehab: Coincidence? We Think Not

Christina Aguilera To Bring "Dirrty", "Beautiful" Babe Into The World

No Jail For Libby, No Hot Wife For Salman, and Pam Anderson Lived To See 40: What Kind Of A World Do We Live In?

Isaiah Washington Needs To Stick A Sock — Or Some Other Implement — In It

Oprah Winfrey Really Is Taking Over The World

This Is Your Cornfield On Coke

Lohan To Rejoin Her Coke-Filled Community One 12-Step At A Time

George Clooney: White Knight To Rich Folk Vacationing in Italy

John Travolta Can Blow Us. Really.

Isaiah Washington Should Maybe Not Feel Quite So Sorry For Himself

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