Beverly Hills Cop came out in 1984, and Eddie Murphy saw white people wearing red Thriller jackets and laughed and laughed and laughed. At the time, I wanted one so badly. Fast forward about seven or eight years, and the country was in the grips of a leather motorcycle jacket frenzy. This picture of Carré Otis astride a hog was hung up in my little sister's room, and we both dreamed of the perfect motorcycle jacket. I eventually bought one — already broken in — off of my Ramones-loving friend Chris, who hated that they'd become mainstream. My sister's came from Bloomingdale's, I think. Later she'd become an cruelty-free fabric wearing vegetarian veterinarian. But I suspect we both would have wanted this peach version. At the time.

I had pants similar to this in 1982 or 1983; but they were black and had stirrups. I wore them to Mitchell's bar mitzvah with a cummerbund and a black dress shirt pinned at the throat with a large rhinestone brooch.

This is similar to the outfit I wore in the car on my way to see Lollapalooza in 1992. The Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam and Ice Cube were on the main stage; but Cypress Hill was on the side stage! This isn't what I wore to the show, of course: I changed into a poet's blouse with velvet choker. Duh.

The shoes are not blasts from the past, but they are fug.

My favorite pleated jeans were actually shorts, which were sometimes worn with backwards suspenders. I cringe now. Terrible choices were made.

His initials were A.T. He had those wounded eyes obligatory for misunderstood and maladjusted high school boys. I was into George Michael and Taylor Dayne; he was into to Zeppelin. We exchanged lingering glances in homeroom. He sat in front of me in math, reeking of weed. I stared at the back of his head, willing him to turn around, and, at the same time, hoping he wouldn't. He wore this — or something like it — every damn day.

His best friend C.T. wore this.

Floral dresses, worn with chunky, mannish shoes — or Doc Martens — were a Big Thing. Part of me remembers the comfort; part of me thinks some things are best left in the past.

WAIT. Polaroid is making a comeback? That's a blast from the past I can get behind.

Polaroid Film Is Coming Back [Boston Globe]

Earlier: Entertainment Earth: Where Your Fangirl Dreams Come True
Halloween At Dean & Deluca: The Trick Is Being Able To Afford The Treats
11 New Weird Christmas Ornaments From Bronner's
October At J. Crew: Pretty, Preppy, Preposterous
Free People: Winning Us Over With Cute, Cuddly Critters
Anthropologie: Sartorialist-ic "Real" People Impossibly Pretty, Well-Dressed
Fall At J. Crew: Romantic Ruffles, Destroyed Jeans, Hideous Shoes

• As predicted, Beyoncé will have a fragrance by springtime. For the rights to her name, Sasha Fierce is set to earn up to $20 million over the next three years. [WWD]

• Marc Jacobs didn't invite Madonna or Lady Gaga to his runway show — they asked to come, and he acquiesced. Would have been pretty awkward to turn your campaign model (Madonna) and after-party performer (Gaga) down. [WWD]
• In addition to doing a line that will sell exclusively on eBay, Narciso Rodriguez — who lost his financial backing last year — is doing more dresses that will retail at less than $1,000, rather than $1,800 and up, his typical price point. [WSJ]
• Carolina Herrera did a "Got Milk?" ad with her daughter. [JustJared]
• There is no better demonstration of the phenomenon of a collection becoming overexposed and untrendy before it even hits the stores than Pink and Shakira both attending the Video Music Awards in the same Balmain leather-and-chains minidress. It wasn't the label's flacks' fault, however: while Shakira borrowed the dress, Pink ordered it herself online. [WWD]
• Bee Schaffer took the place of her mother, Anna Wintour, at the Thakoon show on Monday afternoon. Is she as set on a career in the theater as she seems? It's hard to read about a thing like that without hearing Wintour's voice in The September Issue: "We'll see about that!" [NYObs]
• Freida Pinto popped up at fashion week to go to a party at the Harry Winston store. [WWD]
• "I am calm! I am a calm person!" is clearly not the kind of thing one should to have to shout, but if Russell Simmons couldn't get a seat at Charlotte Ronson, that definitely explains why I, a ticket-holder, couldn't even get into the show. [Radar]
• Rachel Zoe's QVC collection sold out within minutes. But fear not, for she of the sharp clavicle will be back on the idiot box on October 10. [People]
• Likewise, if you weren't refreshing your browser to buy Anna Sui for Target Sunday when the collection went live, you may now be out of luck. [Crain's]
• Ramona Singer, professional Housewife, is launching a jewelry line with the Home Shopping Network. [People]
• Urban Outfitters' president and founder Dick Hayne sold $50 million worth of his company shares. [TS]
• A Chinese company that embroidered the text, "In the name of God, the compassionate, the merciful" on jeans has seen its wares seized in Iran. The importers were arrested. [Guardian]
• The U.N. has recognized Indonesian batik fabric as an element of the world's cultural heritage, and added it to its Intangible Cultural Heritage list. [NYTimes]

• They said it would never happen, but a judge ordered that Google reveal Liskula Cohen's anonymous online tormentor. The model sued Google to find out who was behind a hate-blog about her, in order to file a defamation suit. [NYPost]

• Marc Jacobs does not "enjoy", "look forward to," or anticipate seeing any shows besides his own at New York Fashion Week. "Enjoy?" said the designer, at a party in the Hamptons, "Enjoy is a weird word. It's work — work is more what it's about." So it's not fun? "No." In addition to his two collections to show, Jacobs has a wedding pull together just now — his nuptuals with partner Lorenzo Martone will take place privately in Provincetown, Massachussetts, "soon." [The Cut]
• Hopefully Jacobs was put in slightly better humor by a visit from Miss Piggy. She needed a dress for a red carpet affair in Chicago, and the designer was happy to oblige, so the porcine starlet popped in for a fitting. [WWD]
• Keira Knightley and a strategically arranged suspender star in the newest ad for Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle perfume. [Egotastic]
• Sass & Bide, the Australian denim label which generally shows internationally in New York, has announced it is joining the thundering horde heading to London Fashion Week this season. A raft of British designers have made special arrangements to return to London to show in this, London Fashion Week's 25th anniversary year, and even Anna Wintour — who normally drops the city from her fashion calendar — will be showing up. [Telegraph]
• The cast of the next season of Dancing With The Stars has been announced, and Vera Wang's name is not there. Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Joan Hart, and an Ultimate Fighting Champion might not make the best company, anyway, and Wang has a company to run, so we're not that surprised. [Us]
• Elettra Weidemann, Isabella Rossellini's daughter, scored another fall campaign, for G Star. Anton Corbijn, who directed the Joy Division movie Control, and has photographed U2 for years, was the photographer. [Fashionista]
• Eugenia Kim's diffusion line for Urban Outfitters, branded Eek!, includes a nice looking cloche, and some potentially interesting headbands and fascinators. For $28-$48, as opposed to Kim's main line's $200-$300 pricepoint, this line looks like a winner. [FabSugar]
• Speaking of Urban Outfitters, is there any other chain you would expect to take up the noble cause of saving Polaroid from obsolescence? [Elle UK]
• Hermès is reissuing one of its classic scarf designs to benefit the International Federation of Human Rights. The blue-green scarf will be sold on fidh.org for 215 Euros, starting early next month. [WWD]
• Fashion blind item! "WHICH rising American model has stopped getting snapped backstage by photographers? She's dated so many of them (and their important friends) that now they refuse to give her any exposure!" [Fashionista]
• Wal-Mart is expanding its reach into the tween market. In addition to having Taylor Swift design dresses for L.E.I., and selling Miley Cyrus's line with Max Azria, the world's largest retailer has inked a deal with Nickelodeon to partner with the young stars of a show called True Jackson. [WWD]
• Presumably in order to give Toby Keith a run for his money, Kenny Chesney is launching a fashion line. [People]
• Zara is expanding its outlet chain, Leftie's, into France, after successfully opening the super-budget stores in Portugal and Mexico. This is clearly something we need stateside, stat. [WWD]
• Saks' net loss in the second quarter widened to $54.5 million, an increase from the $32.7 million loss the company experienced during the same period last year. However, Saks actually beat analysts' expectations. [WWD]

• A rare, left-handed Michael Jackson glove — the one the star wore when he unveiled his moonwalk at Motown's 25th anniversary in 1983 — is to be auctioned in November at the Hard Rock Café in Times Square. [CTV]

• Pictures of the +J women's collection are starting to trickle out. Isabeli Fontana stars in the campaign, and my god are we excited for Jil Sander's return to form. Not least because the godmother of minimalism is re-materializing after her long absence at Uniqlo's sensible price point; the full range will cost between $21 and $155. [WWD]
• Diane Kruger, on Karl Lagerfeld: "Karl is like a dad. I've known him since I was 16 – I would do a lot for Karl. I was once on his plane flying to China. He wouldn't stop talking. After a while, I said to him, ‘I have to sleep now Karl.' When I woke up 10 hours later he was still talking to some poor assistant!" [SassyBella]
• Designer Tory Burch and Marchesa co-founder Georgina Chapman are both making cameos on Gossip Girl's next season. [WWD]
• Mad Men's Alison Brie, on the wardrobe: "You wear girdles and tight clothes you can't really breathe in that make you sit up straight. That alone is kind of oppressive and really makes you feel how these women were feeling at the time." [TVGuide]
• From the horse's mouth: Kanye West isn't interning at the Gap. Quoth designer Patrick Robinson, on the occasion of the launch of the Gap's new 1969 Premium Jeans Collection, "He's a friend of mine, and he just likes to see what we do. I tell him, if he wants people to take him seriously in fashion, they have to see blood first! They have to see the blood and the sweat, to see that he really wants it — but he definitely has the capability." [FWD]
• Harlem resident Sessilee Lopez cooks to unwind. "I just made a pepper steak, rice and beans for Wendell the other night. I grew up watching my grandmother cook and she can make anything taste good. So I try to apply what she does. I'm also getting into baking, but I think that might be dangerous for my career." On role models: "Definitely Tyra [Banks]; I would love to benchmark myself after her. She went from being a pretty face to a mogul. It would be great to follow in her footsteps." [W]
• Justin Timberlake's Givenchy perfume ad has a behind-the-scenes video — the behind-the-scenes video now being de rigueur — so you can double up on your Justin pleasure. [People]
• Oscar de la Renta, on not dressing women with double-digit dress sizes: "Well, you cannot be a jack-of-all-trades. You must do what you do best." [VF]
• Robert Geller has a men's capsule collection with Levi's that hits stores next month. [WWD]
• The body of a man was found on the roof of Opening Ceremony, the downtown Manhattan boutique. Signs indicate the death may have been accidental, and the man a vagrant, but police investigated the scene for seven hours yesterday. [Gawker]
• London police have made one arrest in connection with the Graff jewelry heist that netted $65 million worth of jewels last week. A 50-year-old man, who is not believed to have been one of the two robbers who held up the store, was arrested and bailed. [WWD]
• Jewelry designers Arielle de Pinto and Pamela Love are each doing standalone presentations at New York Fashion Week this September, and Bliss Lau — whose original necklace was shamelessly re-cast and copied by Erin Wasson for the supermodel's jewelry line — Philip Crangi, and Eddie Borg are all working on collaborations with unnamed designers for September. [Style.com]
• Anna Wintour has confirmed she will be attending London Fashion Week in September. Although Wintour normally skips the London shows, this year, a special effort by British designers to show on their home turf has resulted in a glut of bold-faced names on the schedule — Burberry, Christopher Kane, Jonathan Saunders, Gareth Pugh, Matthew Williamson — that Wintour simply can't ignore. [Grazia]
• Helena Christensen is naked and gorgeous on the cover of Citizen K. [Sun]
• Ralph Lauren is being sued over shirts he made that say "Lifeguard" on them. The Lifeguard Licensing Corp. says it registered that trademark in 1937. [NYPost]
• Artist Hugh Hayden: "I do dinner parties. The most famous one, in college, was called "Smooth." I wanted people to focus on the taste of food but make everything else a constant. We puréed all the food, had the guests wear all white and arranged them in chairs, facing the wall, around the perimeter of the room. We tied their hands behind their back and fed them through this device, which looked like a snorkel with a funnel attached. So you focus on the taste of what you're eating." Label Hayden-Harnett hired this guy to give their NoLiTa boutique a sporty temporary makeover, and to work with them on the Spring 2010 presentation next month. We're kind of scared, because that dinner party sounds like it would have a long and troubling afterlife in one's subconscious. [W]
• One thing we actually do not want to wear or even see is a "sneaker/boat shoe hybrid," but thanks anyway, Lacoste. [WWD]
• JC Penney's has a line called Twelfth of Eleven that comprises mainly t-shirts, and they won't reveal who designs it. Racked.com thinks it might be Rachel Roy, who designs a line of similar t-shirts (at higher prices) for Macy's. [Racked]
• Wal-Mart's second-quarter results were positive; the world's biggest retailer's profits rose 1.4%, to $3.45 billion. Urban Outfitters' income declined by 14%, to $49 million, but sales rose 1%. [WWD]
• Kohl's second-quarter profit fell just 3%, to $229 million, and sales actually rose slightly, by 2%. [AP]
• Same-store sales at Macy's this quarter fell by 9.5%, but the retailer clung to profitability by cutting costs, and turned in a better-than-expected result of a $7 million profit. [Reuters]

• Leighton Meester made the September cover of Harper's Bazaar, and inside the magazine printed digitally-altered photos of the actress, intended to show how she will age. At 23, Meester is already a supporter of Botox. [WWD]

• Three little words: Rodarte for Target. This December. Fashionistas all over this country are going to be wetting themselves and there aren't even any pictures yet. [WWD]
• In terms of irrepressibly stupid shit, $450 Louis Vuitton chopsticks pretty much takes the sushi. [FWD]
• Nicole Richie, on her new maternity line for A Pea In The Pod: "You really feel like you have to change your whole wardrobe. And that's the last thing a woman wants to go through. So I really tried to make this line to get women excited about wearing clothes." [People]
• Somebody put photos of Alexander McQueen's former London home on the Internet. Creepy. [SB]
• Add this to the mounting pile of reasons to give London Fashion Week a look this season: a photographic exhibition dedicated to Twiggy will open on September 19, the same day as the shows, at the National Portrait Gallery. Twiggy turns 60 this year. [Telegraph]
• 18-year-old American model Ali Stephens, who still dreams of being a marine biologist, struggles to balance her education with her work schedule. "Being in school got hard because I was never there. I switched to online schooling, but that didn't work either because I never had time to do it. When I was working I couldn't do it, and when I wasn't working, I just wanted to relax. It was hard to motivate. So right now I'm studying for my GED. I'm going to take it before fashion week." [W]
• Milla Jovovich, on life's greatest pleasure, reading: "Recently I read all Edith Wharton's classics and I re-read all of Dickens. I love books about turn-of-the-century New York. I just finished Maggie: A Girl Of The Streets by Stephen Crane. I had a phase of reading books about 'new physics' and I love to read Scientific American and New Scientist magazines. I read so much I am like a zombie in the morning." [Daily Mail]
• Princess Grace of Monaco and Cartier are getting stars on the Rodeo Drive Walk of Style. [WWD]
• Roberto Cavalli, you tease! The Italian designer, who for most of this year has toyed with the idea of selling a stake in his fashion house, and released many contradictory statements on the subject, finally committed to sell — but he has now allowed talks to break down with Clessidra SpA. The private equity firm that had wanted to buy a 30% stake in his company was apparently disappointed by the designer's reluctance to negotiate on his high price. [WWD]
• Tommy and Dee Hilfiger are now parents to a baby boy, Sebastian Thomas, born yesterday. Congratulations to them. [WWD]
• Katie Grand's second issue of Love magazine features Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. What? [Fashionologie]
• Kanye West is in New York today to fête Casio G-shock watches. The brand is launching new timepieces designed by Redman, Mister Cartoon, and Todd Jordan — but none from Kanye, yet. [WWD]
• Although the African Growth and Opportunity Act, signed into law by President Clinton in 2000, was intended to offer certain sub-Saharan African companies a break on U.S. trade tariffs to encourage African countries to diversify their economies and manufacturing bases, nearly a decade on, 92% of trade done under the act is in petroleum products. And in Kenya, where apparel manufacture had been a growth industry until this recession began, most of the factories that produce clothing for export under the act are owned by American and Chinese companies. Kenya's apparel sector still employs 26,000 people, and their working conditions are governed by the act, which sets limits on work hours, mandates overtime payments, and bans child labor. [LATimes]
• Urban Outfitters' $24 knockoff of the 3 Moon Wolf tee is imported — but we'll wager not from Kenya. Which means that the t-shirt makers, New Hampshire company The Mountain, and the original artist, Antonia Neshev, probably aren't being paid for their work. Urban Outfitters rips off pretty much everyone, but it's sad to see them kicking around a company that uses environmentally-friendly inks and provides on-site daycare for its employees. Strangely, Urban Outfitters seems to be banking both on the shirt's notoriety, and on its customers not being able to use a computer to navigate to the Amazon sales page, where the original 3 Wolf Moon tee is for sale starting at just $11. [FishbowlLA]
• Iconix Brand Group, which owns everything from Candie's to Badgley Mischka, reports a 32% rise in second quarter profit, to $19.3 million. [Crains]
• Polo Ralph Lauren's first quarter profit dropped 19%. [WSJ]
• Gucci is going to open a traveling pop-up store, to hopefully sell some sneakers Mark Ronson designed at Art Basel Miami and other wealthy world hotspots. [WWD]
• Torrid's holding a model search — so if you or someone you know is a size 12-26 and really, really, ridiculously good-looking, send in some pictures! Deadline's Friday, so act quick. [Torrid]

Because wack is stoopid, ridiculous and avoidable. Yet wack is persistent. I heard my friend's voice in my mind while paging through a recent Urban Outfitters catalog.

Does this make my ass look wack? Well, you've fallen prey to the Anti-Pants Agenda and you look like the lovechild of Lady Gaga and Eustace Tilley. So yes. Your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? Do you have a yeasty, medical need to air out your crotch like that? Do you work in a discothèque in Aladdin's palace? No? Then: Yes. Your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? You were great in that one scene in A Passage To India, but stealing wardrobe from the set is a no-no. Your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? Are you an angel based on the hooker from Pretty Woman? Yes? Your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? Sorry, sweetie, all the sexyface in the world won't allow me to ignore the fact that you're wearing acid-wash looking jeans. You have a lovely figure. But… Your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? Let's see… Rebel without a cause from a little house on the prairie is saved by the bell? Your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? Toplessness is soooo Fall 2008. Therefore you are out of style; therefore your ass looks wack.

Does this make my ass look wack? El. Oh. El.

Earlier: What Clothes? Urban Outfitters Presents Naked & Half-Naked Chicks
Fall At J. Crew: Romantic Ruffles, Destroyed Jeans, Hideous Shoes
5 Hideous Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Summer
May Anthropologie Catalog: Totally Watered Down

• Lindsay Lohan channels Marilyn Monroe on the August cover of Spanish Vogue. [ONTD]
• Fornarina also decided to go another round with the actress — but in these fall ads, they Photoshopped the Lohan to look like Heather Graham. [Sun]

• Lara Stone, who looks like nobody so much as herself, says she wasn't interested in fashion before she started modeling. "I thought modeling was a big joke because I was just a funny-looking teenager." Also, she has no hobbies: "What qualifies as a hobby, anyway? I don't collect stamps." [W]
• Pixie Geldof, Alice Dellal, and Daisy Lowe all left their London agency, Select — possibly because Select closed its celebrity division, possibly because their booker, Sarah Leon, left the company. The trio were snapped up by Next. [Grazia]
• It's fairly obvious why Madonna would begin filming her new music video, "Celebrate," in Milan with her friends Domenico Dolce, Stefano Gabbana, and Jesus Luz. Less clear is why WWD would put in scare quotes what they drank on the set, "limoncello." Don't they know that's a real thing? Danny DeVito advertises it! [WWD]
• Danica Patrick is to be the next face of the watch brand Tissot. The race car driver was photographed in the rooftop swimming pool of the Soho House, and the campaign will hit men's magazines, like Details and GQ in September. Patrick's Twitter page is also sponsored by Tissot, an arrangement she says is "a great way to show my personality, unfiltered and on my terms." Presumably terms that involve lots and lots of money. [WWD]
• André Leon Talley wears monogrammed shirts and alligator loafers without socks — and his new obsession is gardening. "I don't plant. I go to auctions at Doyle and buy gardening ornaments or furniture. That's my idea of planting, it's arranging!" The occasion for this revelation was the book release party for Gloria Vanderbilt's Obsession, an erotic novel which Diane von Furstenberg compared to The Story of O. Fellow guest Salman Rushdie expressed his amazement that the 85-year-old Vanderbilt could even stomach writing an entire novel of sex scenes, which he called "very difficult" and said he used to avoid in his novels. Rushdie also hopes that "when I get around to being 85 that I'm A, able to write anything and B, that I'm still interested in sex." [NYObs]
• If you've ever wondered why there couldn't be a "natural" product for treating pimples — something with willow bark extract, say, instead of the lab-synthesized form of salicylic acid — then the new Burt's Bees acne skincare line is for you. If you grumble more at the idea of "natural" being used as if it had some kind of absolute, timeless, positive meaning than you do at the thought of spots, carry on. [WWD]
• Kylie Minogue is launching her first fragrance for men, and it's called "Inverse." [WWD]
• Pictures of Urban Outfitters' collaborations with milliner Eugenia Kim and jeweler Annie Costello Brown are out — the collections themselves will hit stores this fall. [Blackbook]
• Rumor has it that makeup artist Tom Pechaux, who frequently works his magic for the top magazines and brands, is launching his own namesake makeup line with a cosmetics company partner. [Fashionista]
• There is a picture of Catherine McNeil in a cone bra at the end of this link. Also: Bunny ears are happening. Prepare. (Link potentially NSFW) [Models.com]
• Jon Gosselin and Christian Audigier are in the throes of a full-on international bromance. (Hailey Glassman is now the former's "stylist.") [LATimes]
• Tweets from Forever 21 indicate that a magazine for the brand is in the works. [Racked]
• L'Oreal has added actress Kate del Castillo to its roster of pretty makeup-selling ladies. [UPI]
• The possible bankruptcy of lender CIT Group, which provides financing to many apparel vendors to cover their accounts receivable during the period between when they ship orders to retailers, and when the retailers pay for the goods, has many in the fashion industry alarmed. Nearly 60% of U.S. apparel and footwear makers use CIT, and squeezing out that liquidity will almost certainly drive some of them out of business. CIT owes over $1 billion and has another $10 billion coming due; a bail-out is apparently not an option. [Crain's]
• Nanette Lepore is one of those upset. "They are the only bank that still lends money to small businesses. There is no one else to take CIT's place." [HuffPo]
• Steve Madden's Australian division has gone into voluntary bankruptcy administration. [News.com.au]
• Bankrupt Eddie Bauer was bought by Golden Gate Capital for $286 million. [NYTimes]
• Joshua Walter, a 20-year-old model from Queens who walked for Hugo Boss, was arrested for his role in an alleged robbery ring. The armed five-man gang would target delis and gas stations, rob the register, and then rob all the patrons. Walter allegedly pistol-whipped one patron during a robbery at a Dunkin' Donuts. [NYP]

The survey has 68 questions (all posed as statements) and is supposed to take 20 minutes. You're instructed to respond on a scale, with choices like "Totally Disagree, " "Very Slightly Disagree," "Strongly Agree" and "Totally Agree."

But: However loosely your moral compass is wound, it's pretty easy to cheat this test, since with many of the questions, it's so obvious how you should respond, if you want to get hired.

For instance, Question 13:

I have problems with long hours at work.

Who in their right mind — who really wants a job — is going to admit this?

Question 14:

Most employees get high on the job at one time or another.

Question 41:

Smoking a marijuana cigarette is the same as having a drink.

Question 5:

In previous jobs I've had problems getting to work on time, but that's behind me now.

Question 30:

Some people work as well slightly high as they do sober.

You know what? Some people do. Some people work better high. Are you going to say so when you want to work at Urban Outfitters? No. No, you are not.

Even more amusing are the questions about stealing. As you may know, Urban Outfitters has quite frequently been accused of ripping off other designers. (More here, here, here, here; and then there's an entire site called Urban Counterfeiters.)

But there were several questions hinting that prospective employees had better not even think about stealing from UO.

Question 32:

In some instances an employee who steals small items should be overlooked if he/she does an otherwise outstanding job.

Hey, I'm gonna work super hard and only walk out of here with some earrings. Or a purse. Hire me?

Question 55:

Most employees steal at one time or another.

Psst. Everybody's doing it. Hire me?

Question 44:

A person who takes $5.00 a year from his/her employer is a thief.

I steal, but only a little. Hire me?

Question 20:

In previous jobs I've stolen small items, but I will never do it again.

Unless I go back on crack. Hire me?

It would be really interesting to see how the creative types at Urban Outfitters — who knock off T-shirts, shoes and jewelry — and whose sister company, Anthropologie, doesn't like black people — would reply to these questions:

Question 24:

A company's policies and procedures should be followed without deviation.

Question 38:

Cheating is the way a majority of individuals succeed in business.

Question 23:

An employee should criticize his/her company when he/she believes it to be wrong.

But maybe the answers lie here:

Question 4:

A good employee should always support the organization when outsiders criticize it.

Question 7:

Some rules should be altered to fit the specific situation.

Related: Urban Counterfeiters
Earlier: Anthropologie Doesn't Care About Black People

• Michelle Obama may have skipped the CFDAs, but she'll celebrate the National Design Awards at the White House on July 24. The winners, chosen by the Smithsonian and including Francisco Costa, will participate in events around Washington. [WWD]

• The Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case involving Chicago apparel manufacturer American Needle and the National Football League. American Needle contends that the league ran afoul of antitrust laws when its 32 teams canceled their individual apparel licenses to manufacture exclusively with Reebok in 2001; the NHL says that it is, in fact, a single entity entitled to do business with whomever it likes. [Breitbart]
• U.S. Customs and Border Protection had a banner week, seizing $10 million worth of counterfeit goods. Six different intercepted shipments included fake Nike sneakers, fake Coach bags, fake Gucci shoes, and fake Louis Vuitton purses. [WWD]
• Victoria Beckham is bringing in an all-new team to design and produce her dVb denim line ahead of its relaunch, expected for next year. "Victoria makes out she's hands-on, but she doesn't sit there cutting patterns," explains an anonymous friend. Not that there was much misunderstanding on that count. [Daily Mail]
• Ed Westwick — from that show about high schoolers with credit cards — posed for K Swiss shoes, and boy does he talk about the experience as one itching to be re-hired! "They know who they are," the actor said of the company, before casually mentioning that he'd just love to do another campaign. [WWD]
• Riccardo Tisci of Givenchy talked to New York about his Spring 09 couture collection, and his just-presented Resort 09 collection. Tisci, who ascended to his position five years ago, at the age of 28, calls himself the youngest couturier in history, despite the fact that both Yves Saint Laurent, who took the reins at Christian Dior at the age of 21, and Hubert de Givenchy himself, who founded his namesake line at 25 back in 1952, were younger. [The Cut]
• Model Chanel Iman's inability to distinguish between "their" and "there" has not hampered her ability to snag an internship at Teen Vogue. In a sweet touch of near-authenticity, the Condé Nasties had her clean out the styling closet. [Twitter]
• Urban Outfitters now sells its clothes via mobile phone, for those occasions when you yearn to smell of Vincent Gallo's ballsweat and early 90s desperation, but can't find your way to a store or a computer. [WWD]
• Of course American Apparel would market its new bedding with a bunch of "Oh hai Dov, this your bed? Tee hee!" shots. [AmApp]
• In other news of products that signal the apocalypse, you can now buy an Oscar de la Renta dress for your three-year-old. [W]
• These fashion-show-throwing Manhattan middle schoolers, on the other hand, seem self-sufficient enough to never be heard wailing, "But Mommy I want an Oscar noooooooow!" [Reuters]
• Valentino's owner, the U.K. private-equity firm Permira, is in talks with the fashion house's primary creditors to relax the terms of its €2.5 billion debt. Permira bought Valentino for €5.3 billion in 2007, when such buy-outs — and the easy credit they were financed with — were common. Head designer Valentino Garavani retired within months of the deal, and the house has struggled to express a coherent creative vision since his departure. [ToL]
• Madonna's wholesale transformation of her boy-toy, Jesus Luz, into a real runway model is proceeding apace. After his exclusive appearance on the Dolce & Gabbana runway for Milan's men's wear week, he headed to Paris — unburdened by any exclusive deal — and promptly racked up a spot in Givenchy's lineup. His outfit included studded gladiator sandals, harem pants, and a very busy floral/plaid shirt. [The Cut]
• Esteban Cortazar and Mounir Moufarrige, the C.E.O. of the house of Ungaro, continue to do the will-they-won't-they dance around rumors of designer Cortazar's departure. Cortazar was at the Ungaro men's wear show in Paris and, when asked about his differences with management, said "For now I am here." Moufarrige, for his part, when asked if he would be retaining Cortazar's services into the future, said, "He's here," and pointed at the runway. [WWD]
• The rumor that Pierre Cardin's Chinese shoe and leather goods licensee was in talks to take over the French brand outright has been denied by both Pierre Cardin and the shoemaker. [Reuters]
• American retailers just can't catch a break. If it's not the recession, the rising unemployment rate, or the precipitous drop in consumer spending, it's the risk of tornadoes and unseasonal torrential rain keeping the customers from their stores. [WWD]
• Versace saw a 13.4% decline in revenue during the first quarter of this year, but its sales results were stronger during the months of May and June, company chairman Santo Versace reported. [Reuters]
• Maybe part of the reason that Aéropostale is outperforming competitors like Abercrombie & Fitch to such a large degree is due to the fact that the company spends 80% of its marketing budget online, online being where most of its customers are? [WWD]

• Jennifer Lopez is getting out of the U.S. clothing business, closing her brand, Sweetface. In 2007, Lopez shuttered JLO, replacing it with Justsweet — which then closed after two seasons. It's tough out there for a wannabe fashion mogul. [WWD]

• However, you'll be happy to know that Lopez's Passionista lingerie range is still faring well enough to hire Ana Beatriz Barros for its campaign. [Sun]
• And yet the fall-back advertising strategy remains: if all else fails, throw celebrities at the problem of generating sales in this economy! OP has Sophia Bush, Brody Jenner, Solange Knowles, and a gaggle of other faces in its summer campaign. [People]
• Angelina Jolie takes it easy when it comes to dressing for the red carpet: "I don't think too much about what to wear on the red carpet. I usually have three basic colors and I get the same shapes in different colors!" [MyFashionLife]
  
• Heidi Klum's Barbie, launching this September, comes clad in a sequined mini-dress — and a gold pair of shoes heavily inspired by those Dior gladiator platforms everyone was wearing last summer. Is it still a knock-off if it's plastic and 1" tall? [PopBytes]
• Michelle Obama favored New York designer Rachel Roy with her sartorial selections in San Francisco. The First Lady wore a dress by the designer to attend a conference on volunteering. [The Cut]
• The first of the Michelle Obama style books are here. There's Michelle Style: Celebrating the First Lady of Fashion by Mandi Norwood, Michelle Obama: First Lady of Fashion and Style by Susan Swimmer, and, amazingly, even a Michelle Obama 2010 wall calendar dedicated to 20 glorious full-color pictures of her style. Shockingly, the "experts" agree: the lady dresses well. [USAToday]
• Alexander McQueen said he wouldn't do a runway show for his Spring 2010 men's wear collection, but would instead present his goods in some very special format that the fashion world has eagerly anticipated, McQueen being known for theatrics. Well! If you want to spend 2:19 minutes of your life watching a heavy-breathing pyromaniac in his underwear crawl around an abandoned mental hospital, draw on his own arm, compulsively build a house out of sticks, and slather himself with a brownish substance he then uses to write "Shit" on the wall, all while creepy music plays, now's your chance! Directed by David Sims. Dazed & Confused called it "a daring expedition into both the mind and the wardrobe of an artist." [AlexanderMcQueen]
• Jonathan Saunders is returning to London Fashion Week for the Spring 2010 collections. He had previously shown in New York. Burberry, Matthew Williamson, and Pringle of Scotland have all similarly announced their intentions to celebrate LFW's 25th anniversary by showing there. [UK Vogue]
• The two brothers accused of committing dozens of robberies, mainly on lone women, around London were convicted in court yesterday. Daniel Mykoo, 28, admitted 19 offenses, including choking fashion designer Nicole Farhi until she became unconscious, and stealing her rings and watch. Matthew Mykoo, 27, was convicted of seven attacks but cleared of another eight, including the one on Farhi. [Guardian]
• Vogue hasn't lost any time in replacing Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, the director of special events (a.k.a. the woman in charge of the Oscars of the East, the Met Costume Institute ball), who resigned last Thursday. Sylvana Soto-Ward, an accessories editor who started as Anna Wintour's assistant in 2003, will take the reins. [WWD]
• Yasmin Le Bon is behind a U.K. charity that aims to help children in Romanian orphanages. To support it, you can buy weekly £1 raffle tickets with a chance of winning bounty donated from sponsors. The prize for the first week is a £2,000 voucher from Net-A-Porter. [Times of London]
• 17-year-old fashion blogger Jane Aldridge of Sea of Shoes has a deal to sell her own shoes at Urban Outfitters. Three styles will be in stores next month, and three more will debut in December. Pricing information isn't yet available, but pictures are. (Ironically, to my eye, the heel-lover's flats are the best-looking pair.) [SeaOfShoes]
• And fashion designers think using Twitter will help their business. [WWD]
• Gildo Zegna, the chief executive of Ermenegildo Zegna, the Italian suit maker, says fashion talk of an economic recovery by spring next year is foolish. "I remain positive long term, but we have to be realistic about the crisis," said Zegna. "I think it will be longer than initially anticipated and marginal players are going to go out of business. We have the example of the banking system and the car industry. If it happened to them, it can happen in our business." Zegna just showed the younger, lower-priced line Z Zegna at Milan's men's wear week for the first time, and has aggressively expanded over the past few years in China, to the point where it now has 60 boutiques there and foresees China becoming a bigger market than the U.S. within the next 18 months. Zegna also believes luxury's next great frontier will be Africa. "Look how the Chinese are investing in Africa — they are smart." Did we just hear the future of fashion articulated by one of the industry's oldest names? [NY Times]
• Struggling Abercrombie & Fitch is opening a 40,000 square foot flagship mega store for its Hollister brand in New York. [WWD]
• Chinese counterfeiters are shipping products with fake "Made in India" labels. The ultimate blame-the-other-emerging-economy dodge. [Hindustan Times]

This is a "Parrot" jacket, by East West Musical Instruments, the misleadingly-named San Francisco-based specialty leather goods company that operated in the 60s, 70s and 80s. Notice how the patchwork leather on the shoulders and collar almost looks like two parrots in profile, their heads bent around the wearer's neck.

East West Musical Instruments specialized in intricately pieced jackets, and sold to the likes of Janis Joplin, Iggy Pop, and John Bonham; New York's hipster mayor, John Lindsay, even had one. These days, an East West jacket can sell for $1,000-$5,000 on eBay or at auction.

Which brings us to this jacket, presented this Monday in New York as part of Balenciaga's 2010 Resort collection.

Other bloggers have already taken note of this jacket's strong resemblance to the East West offering above.

It's not the first time Balenciaga designer Nicolas Ghesquière has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar of 70s American rock 'n' roll style. In Ghesquière's Spring, 2002, ready-to-wear collection, then Hintmag intern (and current anti-comfort activist) Sameer Reddy noticed striking similarities between Ghesquière's patchwork collection and the work of San Francisco designer Kaisik Wong, because he just happened to be looking through a book of Wong's work at the right moment. Similarities down to the placement of tassels and the shape of the patches.




Balenciaga Spring 2002



Kaisik Wong

Ghesquière admitted his pilfering to Cathy Horyn at the New York Times, telling her "I did it — yes." Unabashed, the designer even said, "I'm very flattered that people are looking at my sources of inspiration."

In this case, Ghesquière is not the only person looking to East West Musical Instruments for "inspiration." Urban Outfitters' Pins & Needles brand, which states clearly on its website that it "takes inspiration from a broad range of exquisite vintage and costume pieces, dating from early 19th to mid 20th century," copied the "Parrot" jacket earlier this year. (Its $298 version is now sold out.)



But Balenciaga, a high-fashion brand currently owned by the multinational PPR, and which acts swiftly when its own copyrights are infringed (for example with the much-copied Balenciaga "Motorcycle" bag), makes no such admission. Balenciaga posits itself as far more than mere knock-offs of vintage items; it's a fashion house that makes some claim to the originality of its designs — "inspiration" aside, when a designer of Ghesquière's talents is involved, you expect him to do his own work.

Or do you? Some would argue that, in our post-modern, post-Warhol, post-Grey Album age, that copying is no big deal. (This is not the view Balenciaga takes as regards its purses, but it is what some people say. Harold Koda, the curator of the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, said Ghesquière's copy of Wong's work was an example of the Belgian "just rummaging through extant material culture and juxtaposing it with other things to create something different.") Some even argue that knock-offs force source designers to design more, and design better. And the fact that the East West Musical Instruments is extinct could, to some, seem like an excuse for the copy — and the Balenciaga jacket, with its only slightly adapted collar, is certainly a copy. If a book is out of print and unable to be obtained, in a way it seems only fair for someone else to republish it. But that person really ought, in good conscience, to leave the original author's name on the manuscript.

American fashion designers are currently pushing, via the Design Piracy Act, for the inclusion of their intellectual property under the umbrella of copyright law. They argue that their original ideas are currently too easy fodder for knock-off artists like Forever 21 (who had a very near miss, via hung jury, on a copyright case brought by Trovata earlier this year) and the many, many other brands who take prints, patterns, and other design features directly from the runway without acknowledgment or apology. A high-end designer getting caught stealing from someone else's archives — again — can't but hurt that case.

Balenciaga's Nicholas Ghesquire Copies Again [Addicted to YSL]
East West Musical Instruments Parrot Jacket XS [Goodbyeheart]
Is Copying Really a Part of the Creative Process? [NYTimes]

Tired of having to "fake" the mutant-moth look? Don't spend another late night laboring over a T-shirt with a pair of scissors. Just get the "Evil genius destroyed tee," a steal at $42. Is it a commentary on this threadbare life we lead in an era of downsized companies, economic hardship and corporate bailouts? No. It's not.

Quit trying to make harem pants happen! Look, you may think you look like the heir to a Swiss chocolate fortune who's going dancing in Ibiza or needs a cover-up over your bikini when driving your moped from one side of Mallorca to the other when you wear these. But actually, you look like you've shit yourself and need to change your diaper. Trust.

Have there ever been two more terrifying words than "watercolor leggings" ? Eyesores! And the "hooking-my-way-through-Ancient-Rome" shoes only make it worse.

We'd heard rumblings that Emperor Palpatine's granddaughter was starting her own clothing line. But we had no idea how uninspired it would be. And what's with all the weird hoods lately, anyway?

Separately, a lace body suit, a floral skirt and floral leggings are not, in and of themselves, necessarily terrible. But styled like this, we get flashbacks to Grandmama's plastic-covered couch, complete with doily, and not in a good way. A glass chicken with hard peppermint candy inside and a 1965 issue of Life magazine are all this outfit is missing.

Earlier: Urban Outfitters, Free People & Anthropologie: What's The Difference?
What Clothes? Urban Outfitters Presents Naked & Half-Naked Chicks
Urban Outfitters: Seasonal Affective Disorder & See-Through Dresses
Also: 5 Hideous Things Urban Outfitters Wanted You To Wear Last Summer

• In a move that smacks of Chanel-Audrey-Jean-Pierre, Dior announced it's making a 6 1/2 minute online perfume ad with Marion Cotillard and Olivier Dahan, who of course directed Cotillard in La Vie En Rose. [WWD]

• Richard Avedon's retrospective at the International Center of Photography, opening tomorrow, is the largest show of his fashion work yet mounted. Cathy Horyn spoke to curators Carole Squiers and Vince Aletti, plus friends like the New Yorker's Adam Gopnik, about the legendary lensman and his manifest influence on contemporary fashion photography. [NY Times]
• Alexa Chung, the British former model who recently moved stateside to present a new show for MTV, endears perhaps most of all by not pretending her job is difficult. "Presenting isn't hard. You're basically reading cards. I mean, how fucking difficult is that?" And then by sharing these words about the television industry: "I think the mistake a lot of TV channels make is that they assume kids are dumb when they're not. Middle-aged fat men [shouldn't] tell young people [what] to watch when they have no idea." [WWD]
• Aldo, the normally good relatively cheap shoe line, wants us to wear horrendous teal 'n' bronze 'n' snakeskin 'n' studs gladiator sandals this summer. [LA Times]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's fashion line, Elizabeth and James, gave People the exclusive on the release of their fall '09 lookbook. This marks a new uppermost notch on the continual rise of lookbooks into campaign territory. [People]
• Carla Bruni-Sarkozy and her husband are reportedly considering moving into the Paris apartment formerly owned by Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Bergé. [Daily Mail]
• The Agyness Deyn on Twitter is, says BFF Henry Holland, an imposter. "THIS IS FAKE PEOPLE!!!" typed the designer. "AGGY DOES KNOW HOW TO OPERATE A COMPUTER AND MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT EAT BREAKFAST!" [Grazia]
• C. Scott Hemphill and Jeannie Suk, law professors at Columbia and Harvard, respectively, give a good summary of the current status of U.S. copyright law in relation to clothing — which is that it offers designers not a whit of protection from knock-off artistes — and why it would be a good idea to change it. [XX]
• In related news: Trovata's case against Forever 21, which it accuses of copying six of its designs, has begun at a federal court in California. [WWD]
• Urban Outfitters is rolling out two new designer diffusion lines for summer: both Burberry and fellow British brand Pistol Panties are going to be selling bikinis at the American chain this summer. [Telegraph]
• Urban Outfitters' Philadelphia-based parent company just announced very disappointing earnings for the first quarter of this year. Same-store sales across the whole company dropped by 9.6%, and profits fell 28%, to $30.8 million. Free People was the biggest-losing brand, with sales at its stores slipping by 23%. Anthropologie's sales were down by 13%, and Urban Outfitters by 6%. The CEO, Glenn Senk, says his company is "well-positioned to show improvement over the next several quarters," in what is surely the understatement of the year. [The Street]
• Yesterday's flurry of rumors about the future of i-D magazine — Derek Blasberg Twittered from the Chanel resort show in Venice that the fashion monthly might have closed — the publishers have clarified that i-D will be bi-monthly as of this September. The current April issue will be on newsstands until then; the magazine will run more frequent online content instead. [Fashionologie]
• Another not-new piece of menswear news: Designers using foam batting, instead of perhaps down, as lofty insulation within garments. You know, because foam has structure. [WSJ]
• According to sources, Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy is to buy an almost 50% stake in the eco-conscious fashion line Edun, owned by Bono and wife Ali Hewson. Edun was founded in 2005 and manufactures its organic cotton goods in the third world, while paying workers fair wages. A cash infusion from LVMH would allow it to ramp up its advertising and exponentially expand its reach. [WSJ]
• Philip Lim, whose clothes — though still expensive — hit a price point well below that of many of his designer competitors, is anticipating a 15% growth in sales this year. Accordingly, he's planning to add three new lines to his label: swimwear, footwear, and lingerie. The first, his swim collection, will launch this summer, with three styles, two one-pieces and one bikini, priced at $175 each. Lingerie, for $65-$125, will be available at his Manhattan boutique from May 20. Footwear, at $290-$675, will hit stores this fall. And don't expect 6" heels with fiddly feathered doo-dads that might last twenty steps in their original condition. "Everyone's making crazy shoes," said Lim, "so we were like, ‘Let's do working shoes, but sophisticated and beautiful.'" [WWD]
• Maidenform's first quarter earnings declined by 0.8%. Although the brand experienced higher sales, its margins were hurt by aggressive discounting to move old stock. [WSJ]
• Kohl's profit for the quarter just ended fell slightly on last year, to $137 million, but still beat analysts' expectations. Sales rose during the same period by 0.4%. [Reuters]
• Hartmarx wants another six months to file for reorganization in bankruptcy court. [WWD]

• 80s supermodel-turned-businesswoman Elle MacPherson will star in the CW's Beautiful as an 80s supermodel-turned-businesswoman. The show revolves around models living in agency housing. It'll be MacPherson's first television gig since her stint on Friends. [THR]

• Barack Obama started wearing a Jorg Gray wristwatch instead of his Tag Heuer — and the private label, which had only been marketed on the corporate gifts market, promptly launched Barackswatch.com to make the best of the endorsement. Stay classy, Jorg Gray! [WWD]
• Robin Givhan, longtime Washington Post fashion critic, is departing New York City for Washington in order to cover the First Family beat. She'll still write a weekly column on fashion, but in her new surroundings, the scope will widen to include "politician[s] looking especially appalling." [WWD]
• Anna Wintour, who has always been a strong supporter of designer Olivier Theyskens, lashes out at Puig fashion group in her April editor's letter. Puig fired Theyskens before his contract with the house of Nina Ricci was even up. Of course, Wintour's support doesn't mean Theyskens will automatically ascend to a similarly good position: Phoebe Philo, who left Chloé in 2005, has always enjoyed Wintour's good graces, and she's only just about to settle into a design role at Celine now. [FWD]
• Jessica Joffe is going to be in Katy Rodriguez's fall campaign. [Vogue UK]
• Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond, Jr., they of the Vogue Valentine's Day photo spread, are no longer an item. [Daily Intel]
• Is it still news to anyone that editorial work is not remotely remunerative? Here is yet another industry person, Betty Sze of Models.com, to give the good word about the bad pay. Condé Nast, says Sze, pays new models about $150 a day, and more experienced girls can expect to net about $250. Those rates actually set the curve for editorial pay in the rest of the industry: three of the last half-dozen eds I've done didn't pay at all. I will say this of Condé Nast: if one of their titles is shooting you in an out-of-the-way location, unlike other media conglomerates, they send a car to take you to the airport. Which is rad, because LIRR and MTA are two acronyms you do not want on your mind when you're trying to make a 7 a.m. departure at Kennedy airport, and dropping $100 on cabs to take you to and from a job that's gonna pay $200 (after your agency's cut, when you get paid in three months, if other expenses your agency assesses in the meantime don't eat it up entirely) makes no sense. The idea is to do editorials to work with good photographers and generate enough buzz to book campaigns (or, at least, catalogs) but that second, crucial step to financial solvency is a lot tougher than anyone makes it sound. [Fashionologie]
• Collabs between designers and mass-market retailers are on the rise this season — I'll give you one guess as to why. (Starts with "R"!) [WWD]
• Urban Outfitters has been unveiling an unusual number of collaborations, particularly with lesser known, cutting-edge designers, this season. But that didn't stop their design team ripping off a sandal design by Hayden Harnett. They even copied the name. The New York designers called their shoe the "Camille" — Urban's offering is the "Camilla." [Fashionista]
• Palm Beach's retail environment is struggling under the twin curses of Bernard Madoff and The Recession. [WWD]
• Lakme fashion week in Mumbai has a bunch of designers — and a Barbie-themed show. Because what world fashion week is complete without that? [FWD]
• The Lauren Conrad Collection is no more. Funny to think that you couldn't sell an entire line of boring jersey dresses produced by a girl whose claim to fame is playing herself on television in this economy. [P6]
• In somewhat more disappointing news of reality star fashion projects, House of Harlow, Nicole Richie's jewelry line, sold out online before it even reached stores. Alas, she plans an empire: "I'm focusing on my brand right now. There will be a maternity line, a clothing line, shoes, belts, everything!" [People]

• Amanda Lepore has a scent which is more art project than perfume — sold at a gallery for $950, the crystal bottle contains notes of steamed rice, mandarins, champagne, and cucumber. It's fermented. [NY Times]

• The first issue of Indian Harper's Bazaar is now available. It features actress Kareena Kapoor on the cover, and a limited number of the issues are also bedazzled with "Xilion crystalized — Swarovski elements," whatever those are. [Mag-Scene]
• Meanwhile, the March '09 issue of V, featuring Natalia Vodianova and Luke Grimes, has a glow-in-the-dark cover logo. [The Cut]
• Back at London fashion week, Sienna Miller threw a "raucous" party for the label she co-runs with her sister Savannah. Her entire street was reportedly clogged with guests and their cars, and she didn't even warn the neighbors. [Daily Mail]
• Niki Taylor gave birth to a daughter, named Ciel Taylor Lamar, with husband Burney Lamar yesterday, the day before her birthday. Aw. [People]
• Chanel Iman has been publicly confirmed as Bar Refaeli's co-host on the revived MTV House of Style. [Sassybella]
• UK Esquire named Prince Charles its best-dressed man. [Yahoo! News]
• Lou Doillon is opening a concept store in Paris's 11th arrondissement. So we can add that to the list of places where I'd shop if I had any money. [Fashionista]
• For a wrap-up of the Milan shows from Aquilano e Rimondi to Versace, you can't really go past Cathy Horyn's analysis for the Times. [NY Times]
• New York decided to count models of color on the runways in Milan — and the results, especially after such a promising season in New York, are depressing. Dozens of shows with all-white casts, and then a cameo from Jourdan Dunn, does not diversity make. [The Cut]
• And, just like that, it's on to Paris. [WWD]
• British bag-maker Mulberry's January sales were up 30% on last year's results — although this article doesn't specify whether those are same-store sales (sales from stores open one year or longer) or if that figure includes sales from stores that have opened in the past 12 months. (Retail expansion inevitably boosts sales but has huge overhead costs, so same-store sales are the measurement usually considered most reliable.) [UK Vogue]
• A Wall St. analyst upgraded Steve Madden to a "strong buy," arguing that the share price had hit a floor and that the company was well-positioned with no debt, and the stock price jumped 10% in one day's trading. [Crain's]
• Urban Outfitters' same-store sales at subsidiaries Anthropologie and Free People fell during the fourth quarter, and earnings for the company were down 24% as a result. Across the whole business, January sales rose 9%, but same-store sales actually fell by 1%. Urban Outfitters won't be opening as many stores as it had planned in 2009. [WWD]
• Jaclyn Smith, former Charlie's Angel and, given her K-Mart label was launched in 1985, grand-mommy of the celeb clothing line world, says her line is doing fine in the recession, but gives no specifics. [Reuters]
• Fashion directors at department stores are finding their roles are changing — or being eliminated altogether — during this economic downturn. Harper's Bazaar interviewed six of them, at top stores like Saks and Bergdorf, only to find that two had been fired by the time the issue went to print. Let's just all cross our fingers and hope Barneys keeps Simon Doonan in our lives. [NY Times]
• Clients of models aged under 16 in the Australian state of New South Wales will have to adhere to a code of practice set by the government, and obtain the permission of the state Children's Guardian, under new legislation under consideration. The government also wants to add a zero to the fine limit for clients found to skip either of the above steps. [News.com.au]

• Before we tackle today's inevitable layoffs, liquidations and bankruptcies, look at David Beckham. Look at semi-naked David Beckham. In his very important new Emporio Armani ad. Why, good morning to you, Dave. [People]

• Unfortunately for Heidi Montag, clothing lines whose main qualification as same is the attachment of a famous name are not faring well in the downturn. (Please, let someone therefore piece it together that continuing to announce B-List Star for Major Middle Market Retailer arrangements isn't a recession-proof move.) [AdAge]
• Unfortunately, the news came too late to stop Hilary Duff for DKNY Jeans... [WWD]
• ...and to stop Jessica Alba from dipping her toe into the designer waters. [Fashionista]
• And Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen menswear. (OK, so The Row technically should get a pass for being, actually, kinda good, but it's the principle of the thing.) [Elle]
• But getting a celebrity to wear your dress on a red carpet is still worth a starlet's weight in gold. [WSJ]
• The recession will not, however, kill Spanx, which had sales volume of over $350 million last year. Because while the shitty economy is temporary, hating your body enough to want to squeeze and yank and pull it into a girdle is forever. [Reuters]
• The economic situation is making it tougher perhaps than ever for young designers who were in the midst of expanding in line with pre-recession demand and fanfare. [NY Times]
• Esprit has reported its first interim drop in profits in ten years. Sales are slow worldwide, and particularly so in Europe. [Financial Times]
• Estee Lauder's second-quarter profits are also down by 30%. The company will restructure 2,000 workers out of working existence. [The Street]
• Elizabeth Arden, however, beat analysts' expectations for the second quarter by 2 cents a share. Sales still fell 12.7% and net profit was down from $33.8 million one year ago to $17.4 million now. [Reuters]
• A handful more details about the Mathew Williamson line for Target: it launches on April 23, it will be colorful (which, frankly, if anything at all comes to mind when you think "Mathew Williamson" you already knew), and in addition to the regular frocks and tops, there'll be jumpsuits. Controversial move! [Blackbook]
• Kim Gordon discusses her line for Urban Outfitters, Mirror/Dash, with the New York Times, but although they hit stores on February 16, there's only one picture of the actual clothes. She's surprisingly realistic about Mirror/Dash's design process — she admits she doesn't actually sketch so much as talk about fabric and "ideas" with her partner before sending away to Urban Outfitters' sample houses. [The Moment]
• Never to be outdone by Vogue and its eyebrow-raising Sean Avery internship, Elle now has for an intern the fashlete (did I just make that up? I think I did. Let's go with it!) Stew Bradley, an actual Philadelphia Eagle. May he cherish the coffee-schlepping, xeroxing, and sexual harassment that are the hallmarks of any true New York media internship. [The Cut]
• Except, on his first day, Bradley went to lunch with Diana Ross, Diane von Furstenberg, Jessica Alba, Jason Wu, Anil Kapoor Veronica Webb, Eva Amurri, John Frey, Roberta Myers, Joe Zee, Anne Slowey, Whitney Port, and Olivia Palermo. At Diane von Furstenberg's studio. [WWD]
• Now, if she'd only worn her favorite label, Carhartt, on the campaign trail, Sarah Palin might have had a shot at the Brooklyn hipster vote! [US News]
• Janie Bryant, the costume designer for Mad Men, is crafting a contemporary, not vintage, clothing line. And that's about all she's willing to say just now. [WSJ]
• High-end Baltimore fabric store Michael's Fabrics says it has the lemongrass embroidered wool Isabel Toledo used to create Michelle Obama's inauguration day outfit. It's 33" wide and yours for a mere $500 a yard. Just in case you want to whip a dress up at home. [Unbeige]
• Isabel Toledo is still reeling from the media attention following dressing Michelle Obama. (Her husband, the fashion illustrator Ruben Toledo, calls it "Obamathon.") An exhibition of her dresses is going up at the museum at FIT in June. [WWD]
• Monique Lhuillier is introducing a new, more moderately priced line for fall. Given her regular dresses retail for $3,000-$7,000, "moderately priced" in this sentence means around $2,500. [WSJ]
• The Washington Post saw Jill Biden and her security detail nip into Bloomingdale's to buy some Tory Burch shoes. [Washington Post]
• UK Elle has Vivienne Westwood's handwritten "manifesto," and it includes such worthwhile tips as "DIY Suggestions: Necklace of safety pins" and the reminder "We need an estimated $30 billion per year to save the rainforest. $30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000etc-->" Also, she believes Leonard Peltier is innocent. [Elle]
• PETA Photoshopped a Pinocchio nose on to Giorgio Armani's face for a full-page ad in Variety after the scrappy perma-tanned Italian allegedly went back on his word after pledging to no longer use fur in his collections. Armani's people say they use only rabbit fur from animals raised for meat. [New York Daily News]
• Now, this should be fun: Lynda Carter, Valerie Bertinelli, Katie Couric, Natya Liukin, Jennie Garth, and Tori Spelling are among those modeling for a fashion week show dedicated to heart health. Designers include Christian Siriano, Carolina Herrera, and those guys at Badgley Mischka. [WWD]

Harem pants are, indeed, back. And they're called "harem pants." As in, a group of women who sexually service a man. These will set you back $58. Enjoy.

And so begins the display of skin. Distracted by the fact that she doesn't have a shirt? Toplessness is still hot, apparently.

A closer look: She is actually attempting to push product, you know. The sunglasses are $14, the skirt is $58, the bracelets — can you see them? — are $24 each.

Looky here! More nekkid. They're selling the hat, the bra, the stockings and the duvet cover. Not listed: The bag, the plant, the part in the contract where posing for Urban Outfitters means posing nude.

Whoops! Pardon us as we intrude on your intimate, bra-less moment, young lady. For sale here: Leaf umbrella wall art, $60; scoopneck tank, $24; geode necklace, $28; beaded plait necklace, $24. Are we to assume that her underwear is her own?

Well. The headboard is silk and $475; the strategically placed quilt is $160. The faux-voyeuristic feeling of watching "girls being girls" is free. Creepy and staged, but free.

Kate Moss you are not. But yeah, the 90s are back.

If you buy that $158 tie-dye dress on the lower right, you will probaby button a few buttons and sit with your legs closed, no?

Is this "sexy"? Let's see: Unconscious female? Check. Visible nipple? Check. Dress pushed up to reveal crotch? Check.

Oh god. Is this what the disaffected youths will be wearing as they totter to bars this spring? Desperately Seeking Soco?


Urban Outfitters [Official Site]
Earlier: Urban Outfitters: Seasonal Affective Disorder & See-Through Dresses
Urban Outfitters: Sequins, High-Waisted Trousers & The Return Of The Miserable Model
The New Urban Outfitters: I Want To Sell You This Skirt But My Dog Just Died
Urban Outfitters, Free People & Anthropologie: What's The Difference?

• Pseudo-alt schlockmeisters Urban Outfitters have pulled a tee from their California stores bearing the words "I Support Same Sex Marriage," while presumably continuing to carry shirts that say "Lebowski 08." Urban remains unrepentant. [Racked]
• Can you stand it? Probably: Now you can see the full ten minutes of Karl Lagerfeld's silent treatment of Coco Chanel! [Fashionologie]
• Okay, maybe you can stand that, but what about this: Mariah Carey has selected the fan's dress design that best captures the spirit of her new fragrance, "Luscious Pink!" [ET Online]
• Grateful Dead Converse premiere. University of Vermont rejoices! [Telegraph]
• Still standing? Well, clearly you haven't heard about Nicole Richie's trip to Moscow with the Russian Peaches Geldof! [WWD]

• Wait, what? Conde Nast is launching a new British fashion magazine! You know, those things that are closing all over the world? But you see, this one is called Love, and it's "edgy" and "high-end." Our prayers are with you. [WWD]
• Nigel Barker and his wife have a presumably stunning baby girl, Jasmine. [Us]
• Not shockingly, New York retailers are down. [WWD]
• Sergio Rossi is an economic casualty: they're closing all U.S. stores. [New York]
• Those vibrating mascara brushes are a recession bright spot. Tear-proof formula, we assume! [WSJ]
• Also presumably doing OK, H&M opens its first Israeli store. [WWD]
• Kenneth Cole says his new collection's going to do well, because it's better. Does this translate to fewer smug puns - or more? [Crains]
• New York Times reporter finds the Paul Stuart store a pleasantly classic antidote to outmoded excess. We find our bank balances serve the same salutary function! [New York Times]
• Of her naked romp for CK, Eva Mendes: "I certainly don't consider it modelling." [Telegraph]
• Will Monique Lhuillier be collaborating with Cinta? Or was she just having lunch with the designer? Or are they just good friends?[WWD]
• Some good news! A new report has found fewer creepy chems in perfumes and other personal care fripperies! [USA Today]
• We're liking reports of a new, lower-priced line from Doo.Ri. Let's think more Go! for Target then Moschimo "Cheap and Chic," 'k? [WWD]
  [Image via Support Shirts]

• Diddy likens himself to Obama. Speaking of his new fragrance, "I Am King," he declares, "When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend." [WSJ]
• "Mr. Obama sometimes wears jeans, as he did for a rally on Oct. 28, but his jeans are the loose, jingle-the-change-in-your-pocket type. He belts them at the waist, and when he wears them with white sneakers and a windbreaker, one could almost say he had stolen the look from Jerry Seinfeld’s character on the television series." — Cathy Horyn. [NY Times]
• Meanwhile, Donna Karan is rarin' to dress Michelle. “It’s not about her clothes, it’s really about who she is, and her passion for children, culture and wellness. I’m hoping to get to work with them — it would be my dream. They are so committed to ideals that are much in alignment with mine.” [WWD]

• Rumor has it that Pamela Anderson will be in a Vivienne Westwood campaign! But before she gets too excited: it's set in a trailer park. [New York Magazine]
• The Crocs bubble has officially burst. [Reuters]
• Gwyneth breaks it down: "Personally, I like to stick to the classics in both my everyday life and in the evening. Whether I am going to meet friends for dinner, a cocktail party or a bigger event, the most classic of classics, the little black dress, never fails me. I have found a few great ones in all different price ranges and each has amazing versatility. It could be Zara, it could be Balenciaga, but a well-cut, well-proportioned black dress has gotten me through many a fashion crisis." She pairs them with my betes noires, booties and gladiator boots. [Goop]
• We're reserving judgment on the new Diane Von Furstenberg blog: "The blog will be updated daily and will include news, shots of new items, horoscopes, cultural advice, and personal photos and posts by the Diane herself." [Fashionista]
• Ed Westwick's K-Swiss ads further remind us that he is no Chuck Bass. [Just Jared]
• Tartan is back. Why? Because apparently "plaid equals happiness." The Times suggests "a plaid scarf over a checked shirt and a plaid sport coat, topped with a tweed driving cap." [New York Times]
• Comme des Garcons for H&M is here. Shop at your own risk. [Sassybella]
• Wall Street Journal guy discovers there is no warranty on running shoes. [WSJ]
• Teens are apparently unembarrassed to dress exactly like Gossip Girl characters. [Portfolio]
• Ew. Is Vuitton bringing back the Stephen Sprouse graffiti bag? [Fashionista]
• They're refusing to confirm that Madonna's their new spokestar. [WWD]
• Stuart Weitzman plays a lot of ping pong. [Fashion Informer]
• (designer) Sienna Miller, for her part, enjoys Monopoly. [WWD]
• Dior Homme goes all porn-y for their new campaign. [NY Magazine]
• Uniqlo sells the new bra top through profiling: "20- to 40-year-olds were filmed answering a range of questions, from their favorite food to what they liked about Uniqlo products, and the answers were then played on a microsite for like-minded women. Filtering criteria allowed visitors to find women of a similar height, weight and shape and see how they answered the questions." [AdAge]
• Simon Doonan gets Tom Brokaw to unveil the Barney's Christmas windows. "I wanted someone with a little bit of gravitas to cut the ribbon," quoth he. [Style.com]
• Perry Ellis is pessimistic. [WSJ]
• Urban Outfitters, at least, is up! [WSJ]
• Marc Jacobs: "I've had boyfriends who were media whores, and, God bless them, they were great people." [New York Post]

• We spent way too much time talking about Sarah Palin's sexy secretary garb and how much it cost and/or did not cost. But what we really want to know is how Palin gets her hair so big. Maybe her bouffant is built out of campaign secrets and the souls of unborn babies.
• Maybe all Sarah needs is a good talking to from Tyra and Judge Judy. Then she'd learn to keep her receipts in order!
• She has about as much sense as these crazy cat people. (We kid, we love them.)
• But probably a lot more sense than Elisabeth Hasselbeck, whose t-shirt wearing antics have torn The View asunder.
• Breaking: Goop makes us gassy.

• Maybe that's why these Urban Outfitters moddles look so bummed out: they're suffering from a severe case of soy farts!
• Also a bummer: potential voter suppression.
• Interviewing Sarah Haskings confirmed our suspicions that she is awesome.
• Attention It Girls, it's Friday. So rock out with your grillz out and have a great weekend.