unpleasantsurprises

posts about #unpleasantsurprises more →
Sense And Sensibility

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

Vzbrst
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
My first thought was: hey, wait a minute, can't the ashes be used as a fertilizer?

Or does only wood ash work this way?

I'm in a creepy mood today.
Reply

Vzbrst was starred Vzbrst was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/01/08

@Vzbrst: Human ashes have lots of bits of pulverized bone in them, which is the same substance used to fertilize roses--it's called bone meal and you can buy it by the sack at Home Depot--so theoretically I'm sure the gardener could make use of ashes if he wasn't squeamish.
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

bleedingmouths
12/01/08

@BeckySharper: Yeah, what's his problem, it's only burnt up people... can you imagine if he/she left and they had to get a new gardener.. job ad.- Gardener wanted, must be ok with handling human remains...

Am I the only Austenite to keep imagining people scattering ashes over Aunt and Uncle Gardener?
Reply

bleedingmouths was starred bleedingmouths was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/01/08

@bleedingmouths: They were very nice people--I'm sure they wouldn't have minded at all.
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

hellosunshine
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
Y'all know I love an excuse to post a Colin Firth picture, so this was just asking for it.

MROWR.

Reply

hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/01/08

@hellodarling!: I'm sorry but I was hoping for the wet shirt one.
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

EdnasEdibles
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
I'm still holding out for my ashes to be scattered in VC Andrews' attic.
Reply

EdnasEdibles was starred EdnasEdibles was unstarred

Mediokra
12/01/08

@EdnasEdibles: Ha!
Reply

Mediokra was starred Mediokra was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/01/08

@EdnasEdibles: I presume they'll be mingled with your brother's ashes first?
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

Raspberry Swirly
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
That's creepy. On a semi-related note, I know someone that did not know that Pride and Prejudice wasn't just a movie. I cried a little on the inside.
Reply

Raspberry Swirly was starred Raspberry Swirly was unstarred

haguenite
12/01/08

@Raspberry Swirl the Waitress: Did they at least know the BBC/A&E version, or only the *suppresses gag reflex* Keira Knightley one?
Reply

haguenite was starred haguenite was unstarred

Raspberry Swirly
12/01/08

@haguenite: Keira Knightley. That made it a bit more painful.
Reply

Raspberry Swirly was starred Raspberry Swirly was unstarred

goldfarb
12/02/08

@Raspberry Swirl the Waitress: I'm sorry...I think you have your facts wrong here...there has been NO adaptation of Pride and Prejudice other than the BBC/A&E series.
Reply

goldfarb was starred goldfarb was unstarred

leslieannelevine
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
The phrase "mounds of human ash" really ... made me shudder. Cremation in general doesn't bother me -- we have some of my mom's ashes in a little jewelry box on the mantle! -- but MOUNDS of the stuff seems a bit macabre.
Reply

leslieannelevine was starred leslieannelevine was unstarred

Mediokra
12/01/08

@jammiriffic: I have this horrifying mental picture of a lovely English cottage with a garden with little gray hills of cremains all over the yard. I feel like gagging now.
Reply

Mediokra was starred Mediokra was unstarred

morninggloria
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
Sorry Jane Austen fans, that rumor of the real Mr. Darcy being a gardener outside of Jane's house for all of eternity is simply that: a rumor. No matter how bad you want him to plow you, he's fictional.
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
Haha..I love the Brits. It's "distressing" for viewers to see a garden strewn with human remains. Not shriek-inducing, horrifying or gawdawful.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

ItchykooParker
12/01/08

@Mkp-hearts-nyc: And so pragmatic in such a British way: "Also, it is of no benefit to the garden!", as if that seals the argument.
Reply

ItchykooParker was starred ItchykooParker was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/01/08

@Mkp-hearts-nyc: I think that "distressing" usually requires no more than a dollop of whiskey in one's tea.
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

SisterMaryMartha
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
Y'all can pour out some boxed wine for me. No ash necessary.
Reply

SisterMaryMartha was starred SisterMaryMartha was unstarred

andBegorrah
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
At least cremation is more space-efficient than the Brontë estate's "Reader, I Buried Him"-themed funeral services.
Reply

andBegorrah was starred andBegorrah was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

@andBegorrah: baddabumchhhh... that's awesome. That's like something out of a Jasper Fforde book.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

Liz11685
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
I like Austen, but now I will stay away from the Hampshire cottage. (Been to the museum in Bath already) I do not wish to have my Elizabeth Bennett/Darcy dreams ruined by cremations- those things are pretty nasty.
Reply

Liz11685 was starred Liz11685 was unstarred

fashionintel
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
I think Jane is great, but can a true Jane fan explain to me the intense love for her - I am truly interested in knowing. Maybe I haven't read enough of Jane Austen, but they people who shop at my store go nuts for her, and I have to know why. P.S. This is a sincere request.
Reply

fashionintel was starred fashionintel was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

@fashionintelligentsia: What I love about Austen is that she is bright, quick, snarky and a shrewd observer of people's behavior and motivations. She's not as dramatic or earthshaking a writer as Charlotte Bronte, but her books give an engaging (if daintily written) portrait of a restricted time when women had few options and propriety was crucial. There's a lot of humor in her books, but she had a very dry sense of humor.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

VeryFancyBunny
12/01/08

@fashionintelligentsia: I'm with ya on the request. Every time I drop by Target's book section these days, there's usually a whole shelf or two devoted to what amounts to Jane Austen fanfic: novels about people who love Jane Austen (The Jane Austen Book Club) or novels that continue the stories of Jane Austen characters (Mr. Darcy's Diary). (Not that I usually shop at Target for books, but if I'm in a store that has books, I have to look at them.) I was a Lit major; I've read Austen. But I don't get the fanaticism about her.
Reply

VeryFancyBunny was starred VeryFancyBunny was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

@VeryFancyBunny: I have a very, very low tolerance for the fan fiction. I had to work on one when I was interning at a publishing house...it was better than some, but generally I shudder at all of the P&P from Mr. Darcy's perspective, etc. If we were meant to get his side of things at all, we can get it from Colin Firth's searing glances, thank you very much.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

littlemissvan
12/01/08

@Mkp-hearts-nyc: You know what is terrible? I have an irresistible compulsion to pick up and read any Austen fanfic I see. It is almost always terrible, but I can't stop myself!
Reply

littlemissvan was starred littlemissvan was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

@littlemissvan: The only reason I know so much of it is awful is because I keep trying :P We'd all /like/ a slice of Colin Firth's inner monologue, but it never comes to be.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

Majrhoulihan
12/01/08

@littlemissvan: I once bought a book of Jane Austen themed erotica while in Hay-on-Wye. It was much more satisfying than the novels if you know what I mean.
Reply

Majrhoulihan was starred Majrhoulihan was unstarred

Shamrockette
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
So basically the ashes of one of the greatest authors to ever live can't be spread because of a fucking GARDEN?!

Since when did horticulture overtake legacy?
Reply

Shamrockette was starred Shamrockette was unstarred

hortense
12/01/08

@Shamrockette: No no- Jane Austen FANS want to spread their ashes on her garden. Not Austen's ashes.
Reply

hortense was starred hortense was unstarred

haguenite
12/01/08

@Shamrockette: Jane is very visitable at Winchester Cathedral. No cremation there.

Honestly, it's not like the cottage in Chawton is that pretty anyway. If I were an Austenite (actually, I am, but I want to be buried so this is not a real issue for me) I'd have my ashes spread somewhere in the beautiful landscape surrounding it. Or perhaps somewhere along the river that flows through Winchester, between the cathedral close and the hospital.

(What, I did my thesis on literary tourism, I know places...)
Reply

haguenite was starred haguenite was unstarred

Shamrockette
12/01/08

@hortense: Oooooooooh.

Okay, I get it. That's just crazy.
Reply

Shamrockette was starred Shamrockette was unstarred

stealthird
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
Screw that. I want my ashes to powder Junot Diaz's crotch.
Reply

stealthird was starred stealthird was unstarred

morninggloria
12/01/08

@stealthird: My stars. I am just finishing Oscar Wao and I concur.
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

stealthird
12/01/08

@morninggloria: I bought that the day it came out. If he makes me wait another ten years for his next book, I swear I'll kill myself.
Reply

stealthird was starred stealthird was unstarred

morninggloria
12/01/08

@stealthird: I'd never read him before, but I thought, whelp, those Pyoo-litzer folk know good writin'.
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

stealthird
12/01/08

@morninggloria: Have you read his short story collection? I reccommend it. I've read every story at least three times, and counting. My favorite story in the collection is "Aurora".
Reply

stealthird was starred stealthird was unstarred

BeckySharper
12/01/08

@stealthird: Girl, you just made me LOL. You know, he's not married. Has a girlfriend, but not married. You could theoretically gain access to his crotch in this lifetime.
Reply

BeckySharper was starred BeckySharper was unstarred

stealthird
12/01/08

@BeckySharper: He's NOT? Omg, I thought he was...that will be my new years resolution: sleep with Junot Diaz.
Reply

stealthird was starred stealthird was unstarred

30RocksMySocks
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
There is something painfully sad and depressing about wanting to scatter one's ashes at the home of a person you have never met, no matter how brilliant a writer she may have been.
Reply

30RocksMySocks was starred 30RocksMySocks was unstarred

ILikePineapples
12/01/08

@30RocksMySocks:
Why?
Reply

ILikePineapples was starred ILikePineapples was unstarred

30RocksMySocks
12/01/08

@ILikePineapples: it just, to me, speaks to a lack of any true relationships in one's life. To want your death remains scattered not in a setting that had meaning to you personally or in the along with someone with whom you were in actuality connected. I don't know. I guess it makes me think of my lonely grandfather, sitting by himself in his house with no one really to talk to anymore. I could see him wanting something like this because he refuses to get close to anyone living. All of his connections are to people he never knew, never met and have long since been deceased. It's kind of sad. But that's just me. I'm not asking you to agree or anything.
Reply

30RocksMySocks was starred 30RocksMySocks was unstarred

ILikePineapples
12/01/08

@30RocksMySocks: Yeah, I don't agree with you, but I was sincerely curious to know why you felt that way. My take on it is that it's not unlike someone who loves the beach to want their ashes spread on the beach... just a way to attach some meaning to what happens to your remains (if you're not going to be buried).
Reply

ILikePineapples was starred ILikePineapples was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

@ILikePineapples: But it's possible to have a one-on-one connection with the beach...less so with Jane Austen.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

bleedingmouths
12/01/08

@Mkp-hearts-nyc: I beg to disagree! I grew up with her books, have read them over and over, each time gaining a new insight into a new part of my life. I seriously adore Jane Austen's work. I'm pretty fond of Jane too. I've spent days in Bath, visiting her old haunts, just like someone would visit a favourite beach. I really don't think it's that different. Saying that, I wouldn't want to be buried in her old garden, it seems rude. I don't think Jane would like it.
Reply

bleedingmouths was starred bleedingmouths was unstarred

Mkp-hearts-NYC
12/01/08

@bleedingmouths: Aha, see, you have a one-on-one connection with those places!

I hadn't thought of the Society members being close enough to have that kind of connection with the place (I live in the US and can only dream of wandering around Charlotte Bronte's moor...). To want to be scattered there /just/ because you've read the books many times still seems silly.

But you're totally right...Miss Austen would have been appalled.
Reply

Mkp-hearts-NYC was starred Mkp-hearts-NYC was unstarred

sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)
12/01/08

In reply to Sense And Sensibility
In related news, President Bush announced he would like to be buried next to Chuck E. Cheese, Helen Henny, and Jasper T. Howls.
Reply

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#unpleasantsurprises

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Sense And Sensibility

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment