Jezebel 
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New York, 8:41 AM
Mon Nov 30
18 posts in the last 24 hours
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03/02/09
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03/02/09
the real advice should be this: report sexual harassment if you have nothing to hide...and by nothing, that means absolutely every single aspect of your life is free and clear to be researched, because that is what will happen whether you like it or not. if you have any dirty secrets or confided in a buddy over beers about any aspect of your personal life that might be construed as unsavory or suspect, be prepared for that little nugget to be put under a spotlight. i'm not saying it's right or fair, but that's how it always goes down in sexual harassment cases.
03/02/09
After complaining in writing, I was told that if I filed the complaint, life would be very difficult for me and it would affect all of my performance reviews. I ended up leaving due to medical reasons brought on by a hostile, stressful environment. The other people in the department sought transfers.
He's still at the company. WTG, asshole CPA firm.
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03/02/09
WTF? I think this lady is living in a movie. One in which our plucky heroine quits and mopes around picturesquely for 5 minutes before starting a multi-million dollar pie-making business or being miraculously being offered a better job by some rich person who admires the cut of her jib. In real life, unless you have high-in-demand skills and another job lined up, you're going to be in for some real hardship.
03/02/09
I TOLD my boss. I cried and cried while I told him what happened. I am MORE THAN SURE they thought I was overexaggerating, but after I had to tell him every exact action that man made, he understood what happened. The guy didn't get fired - but he left the office a few months later. There was nothing that they could legally do as this happened outside the office.
I wanted to quit, but my boss refused to let me go. I'm glad I didn't quit - I don't know what would've happened to me if I had left.
You tell your bosses what happened, you have to, and don't let some bullshit mindfuck tell you that it's your feminist duty to let this type of disrespect slide by. No, it's your body and your self worth at risk - she can stick it where the sun don't shine.
So much for cuss-free week.
03/02/09
He'd make loud snarky comments about how I need to show more cleavage, because isn't that what I was hired for (and I'm an engineer by profession, so, just no;), and how my work was no good, because I was a "little girl way too far in over my head." One day he held up an old Madonna poster and told me to invest in some conical bras, for my career's sake. Another day, he suggested that I go outside and work on a bikini calendar as something productive for the whole office.
What irked me immensely is that as he said crap like this, the twenty people in our vicinity were either quiet, or the other young (male) a-holes giggled at how funny it was.
I got really upset, and luckily confided to one of my good friends who worked in HR. She told me, the company's stance in this case was that he was creating a poisonous atmosphere (unless he made a move on me plus was my superior, it wouldn't have been classified as sexual harassment under our company's policies;), and I had every right to call him out on it as long as I did it per the prescribed channels. This meant,
a) verbally informing him that he was harassing me the next time he said something
b) logging a complaint against him to my manager
c) officially contacting HR if my manager didn't deal.
I only made it as far as step (b). A week later, he shot me a dirty look and marched by me like I was made of poo. He was informed in no uncertain terms that if he spoke to me again, his job would be axed. My cubicle got moved to another floor shortly so I'd never run into him again.
Yes, the people in his group thought I was being unreasonable, but eventually they all ended filing similar complaints against the jackass.
We both continue to work at the same company, two years later. The number of people he is permitted to speak to at work is a rapidly shrinking group. He still doesn't really get it...
03/03/09
03/02/09
Thankfully I'm also a lawyer, so I knew what to do. This is NOT legal advice and I am not your lawyer, I'm just talking outloud here. To have a solid lawsuit (should that need arise), you must give your employer the ability to remedy the situation. I did and I was transferred elsewhere and now my life is fabulous. Had I quit and not allowed them to transfer me, I would not have had a solid cause of action.
03/02/09
That doesn't mean they don't happen--and happen without any kind of punitive measures taken to prevent them from happening again.
Most women (and men) in these situations don't have the resources to fight the company.
03/02/09
With re: people's resources, many plaintiff's attorney's will take the case on with no money up front.
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and i can say confidently that women who chose not to fight have their reasons, just as women who chose not to report rape have their reasons. each situation is different, and i hope that we can all respect that.
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It seems like they do rather often... too often.
03/02/09
and sadly, i don't think we can 'fix' sexual harassment on its own. it's the symptom of greater societal ills. those have to go first.
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03/02/09
I will admit though that there are some fools in my profession. I've had wonderful, compassionate and very fair-minded colleagues but I've come across some colossal dumbasses as well.