University of Connecticut now officially forbids student-faculty relationships, including one-night stands and sexting.
Bad news, winos: Turns out, the University of Connecticut researcher who discovered that red wine has anti-aging qualities actually fabricated a shitload of data. Which means that your purple mouthed cry-juice might not be good for your heart after all.
The University of Connecticut has done away with its cheerleaders because the squad was too focused on perfecting difficult stunts rather than cheering on other sports teams. They've been replaced with the "Spirit Squad," which requires no athletic ability.