The University of Colorado at Colorado Springs Department of Public Safety's website updated its "What to do if you are attacked" page this week to advise female students to pee, vomit, and bleed their way out of being rape victims.
A pair of University of Colorado graduates have started marketing themselves as the "Hangover Helpers." For a fee, the duo will report to your house after a party and clean up, bringing with them breakfast burritos and Gatorade. Fuck. Yes.