• Lindsay Lohan has returned from India!

While there, she visited the Sanlaap women's and children's shelter outside Calcutta. She spent about 3 hours with people there, and watched dance performances by the children. With her was a four-person camera crew from the BBC, and, at one point, Lindsay wore a bindi. Of course. [People]

• If you have $300, you can buy a "Marc Jacob" bag from LohanHouse.com, where Lindsay and her family are selling gently used clothes, shoes, hats, bags, and "collectables." [Page Six, Lohan House]
• Chris Brown is pissed that stores are not carrying his new CD, Graffiti. He wrote on his Twitter: "im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do... WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit. im not biting my tongue about shit else... the industry can kiss my ass." He said of a Walmart in Connecticut: "They didn't even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself. the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF GRAFFITI." [MSNBC Scoop, Twitter, Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• Lily Allen may have smoked a cigarette during a concert last week; and if the Liverpool City Council can prove she was smoking, she and the venue could be fined. The council is asking "witnesse" to rat Lily out. [BBC News]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: "In love" and moving in together in the new year. As you may recall, their romance began on the set of Alfie; then Jude cheated on her with his children's nanny. Forgive but not forget? [The Sun]
• Playgirl has turned down alleged nude photos of Tiger Woods — apparently taken by Tiger himself. The magazine's spokesperson Daniel Nardicio says: "They were impossible to 100 percent verify, hence the unwillingness to go there." [People]
• Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, is not in Sweden, despite some reports. She is in the guest house, which, while large, is not another country. [TMZ]
• Consulting firm Accenture is the first corporate sponsor to officially drop Tiger Woods. [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods' wife will reportedly dump him after Christmas and is talking to a divorce lawyer. As for Tiger, he is seeing a therapist. Allegedly. [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Elin Nordegren wants a trial separation. but that Tiger Woods wants to take a cruise on his yacht with her and convince her to stay with him and have another baby. (?1?!) [NY Post]
• Here, Cori Rist, who hooked up with Tiger Woods, is called a "spectacular escort." [Rush & Molloy]
• According to this report: Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are both in Palm Beach, Florida. But he's on his yacht; she's with her family. [TMZ]
• "Tiger Woods Cheated As Dad Died. Star Bedded Jamie Jungers As Father Lay Dying In Hospital." [Radar Online]
• Gerald Posner reports that Tiger Woods had a "separate team handle his trysts," and that Rachel Uchitel could be getting $5 million to stay quiet. [The Daily Beast]
• A source says Uma Thurman's ex-fiancé was too controlling: "It seemed like he always wanted to run the show… He wanted to bring in his own chef and his own security. He'd talk about redesigning her house in the city and knocking down buildings at her place upstate." [Rush & Molloy]
• Russell Brand was seen spotted shopping for diamonds at Cartier, fueling speculation he's going to ask Katy Perry to marry him. [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William a "shadow King"? [NY Daily News]
• Jay-Z is well-loved by his Rocawear employees, whose Christmas gift to him was a video spoof of his hit single, "Empire State of Mind." [Page Six]
• Behold: Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper in the 2010 MAC Viva Glam ad campaign, shot by Ellen von Unwerth. [The Life Files]
• Susan Boyle says he life hasn't changed that much: "I have everything I had before – it's just a little more interesting now." She hasn't really splurged on too much: She bought "a red couch and some cushions." And, she says: "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality." [People]
• What do we think of Carey Hart's Day-of-the-Dead-style tattoo of Pink? [The Life Files]
• Guy Ritchie is thinking of opening a branch of his London pub, the Punch Bowl, in New York. [Daily Express]
• Sad face: Grizz from 30 Rock is suffering from severe hypertension and has to be on a dialysis machine three times a week. He's on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, but need to lose 75 pounds before he's considered a viable candidate. And the wait is 5 years. He talks about all this on Dr. Oz's show on Tuesday. [NY Daily News]
• The Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the Boston Society of Film Critics agree: Mo'Nique's performance in Precious and Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker were some of the best moments in film this year. [People]
• Lots of Kerry Washington's favorite places in New York are food-related. [NY Post]
• Candy Spelling, a panelist on E!'s new series, Bank of Hollywood — produced by Ryan Seacrest — says: "I don't have to work. I'm not putting up my own money! We all contributed our salaries, but I wasn't going to pay [the contestants] to be on TV… I love giving of my time and money — I'm very charitable and sit on three nonprofit boards and two city boards as commissioner — but… then I would just be donating money and leaving it up to the contestants as to how it's spent. We all felt a strong responsibility about how they would spend the money." Yeah, I don't know either, but it sounds snotty. [NY Post]
• Sarah Ferguson, ex-Duchess Of York, says she's going to start a historical novel, starring an aristocratic redhead and set in the eighteenth century, "sort of like Pride and Prejudice meets 24. It's actually me putting myself in the eighteenth century… I can just imagine how it would be, and I have such fun!" [New York Magazine]
• Groan: Spencer Pratt now owns a music company, King Spencer Music. Be afraid. [TMZ]
• Entourage's Kevin Connolly says he thinks Rex Lee didn't really mean it when he said he was made fun of on the set because of his ethnicity and sexuality. Pardon? [TMZ]
• At the link, an obituary for Natasha Richardson by Ralph Fiennes. [Guardian]
• Add Kid Rock and Dave Grohl to the list of musicians suing bars for playing unlicensed music. [TMZ]
• LOL: 21-year-old Ekaterina Ivanova is calling ex-boyfriend, 65-year-old Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, an "evil goblin." [Telegraph]
• CSI Miami's Jonathan Togo was arrested Friday for allegedly getting violent in a fight with his girlfriend; he was booked for felony domestic violence. [TMZ]
• A year after being rejected on TV, Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft got married. But not to a guy from TV. [Us Magazine]
• "Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood Celebrate Anniversary at McDonald's." [People]
• The Princess And The Frog was number one at the box office with a modest $25 million. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Bentley Meeker is a celebrity lighting guru and you are not. [Page Six]
• "I don't want to talk about him, except that I like him… I think everyone needs an adventure buddy." — Holly Madison on Benji Madden. [People]
• "Whenever anybody say they are going to give me some kind of award, I'm always a little stupefied by the notion. The first thing I say is 'why?' I just go to work like anyone else, except my job happens to be a little stranger." — Johnny Depp, when receiving a career achievement award at the Bahamas International Film Festival. [AP]
• "It makes certain cities impossible to live in. Like Sydney, it makes it impossible for us to live there… We certainly don't get that treatment in Tennessee. But it goes with the territory. It's just, we have to be careful, just to maintain some sort of semblance of a normal life for our child." — Nicole Kidman says attention from photographers is the reason she won't live in Sydney. [News.com.au]
• "I don't have a personal vendetta against Nicole Kidman… These are Machiavellian games that are being played and they are just not right. If she doesn't want to be photographed she should change her profession and become a butcher." — Paparazzo Jamie Fawcett, whom Nicole Kidman has requested a restraining order against and also took to court for placing a listening bug outside her home and following her in his car. [News.com.au]
• "Breaking up the band was a mistake because I think it broke trust with the audience. You had an audience that was very invested in that idea - whether they were invested in the people or the idea or the songs, I don't know. Like a relationship that you break off from and then try to pick back up, it's never quite the same. It doesn't mean it can't be as good, but it has to be different. That beautiful original feeling got lost in the interim of being away. If we had said, 'We just went away for seven years,' it would have been similar, but somehow breaking up, there's a violence to it." — Billy Corgan, on the Smashing Pumpkins. [WENN via Spinner]
• "If I didn't act, I'd be a nutcase. Some people have to do it. They have a lot of emotion they have to get out." — Rachel Weisz, who's in The Lovely Bones. [News.com.au]
• "My body is falling apart. The only way that I could do it is if I played a character who gets shot in the left leg and the right shoulder in the opening scene." — Kenny Rogers says he is too "decrepit" to be in Christmas In Canaan, the movie based on the book he wrote. [Daily Express]
• "Sometimes when I watch the show back I think we've gone too far because I see the pre-story beforehand, I can then see the audition from their perspective and there are times where I think I could have handled that better or I was in a bad mood and I was too rude. At the same time... no-one is sort of dragged kicking and screaming onto the audition set." — Simon Cowell. [BBC News]
• "A journalist went up to my  husband once and said 'did you know that dating anyone more than three years younger than you is considered pedophilia?' [Peter shot back] 'Really? My wife is seven years younger.'" — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Gatecrasher]
• "Angry African-American women, you know, thought that it would be the image that people would associate with them. Virginiaca is definitely art imitating life, but I understand where they're coming from, and I don't have to project that onto mainstream America. What's funny is funny. This place is well known for getting angry letters — Lorne keeps 50 of them outside his office. It keeps you grounded in the fact that in late-night comedy, you're going to have to burn somebody." — Kenan Thompson. [New York Magazine]
• "I say 'Be Italian' many times in the song, but it was important to me that every time I say it, it have a different meaning, because there are so many different things about being Italian. There's love of life and food and sex and drink. There's love of dancing, love of singing. So it was putting all that into it." — Fergie, on her song in Nine. [NY Post]
• "The negative stuff is crazy and the positive stuff is crazy… I actually see all the discussion and controversy and, you know, 'Is it Smurfs and Dances With Wolves in space?' and all this crap, as good. It fuels interest. All those people that go online and repeatedly dismiss the movie day after day, I know they're going to be there watching it." — James Cameron on Avatar. [NY Post]
• "I think every little girl should be able to feel themselves the princess. I think every little girl is worthy of having a princely young man, and vice versa. It's really thrilling that Zahara will never have a moment where she didn't see herself in that light. She's Ethiopian. She comes from kings and queens. She should certainly know herself as a princess." — The Princess And The Frog's Anika Noni Rose, responding to Angelina Jolie's claim that she's ecstatic that daughter Zahara has a role model. [Ok!]
• "I'm working out again. I'm going to make the sequel to 300. My pecs will be glistening. I'll have a codpiece. I'm going to blow your mind." — Alec Baldwin. [Rush & Molloy]

• A source claims that Taylor Lautner has proposed to Taylor Swift. The source was last spotted running down the street screaming, "It's true! Now stay away from Bella! You're ruining everything! Team Edwaarrrrddd!" Not really. But maybe? [ShowbizSpy]

• "It's crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble. I can't even explain to you how terrible that feels, that I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution. It's a nightmare."John Mayer [NYTimes]
• Kristen Scott Thomas will also be co-starring in the upcoming Bel Ami, alongside Uma Thurman and Robert Pattinson, as "one of Pattinson's conquests." [DailyExpress]
• Brad Pitt, meanwhile, will be fighting off aliens in the Bermuda Triangle for an upcoming adaptation of the video game Dark Void. [DailyExpress.]
• Heidi Klum hit the runway just five weeks after the birth of her daughter, Lou, for the Victoria's Secret fashion show in New York City. "I embrace that I have more curves right now," she says. [DailyMail]
• Klum also legally changed her name to Heidi Samuel yesterday, taking her husband, Seal's surname. It's not clear yet if she'll go by Heidi Samuel professionally. [People]
• "We are engaged, and Darren and I are completely committed to ‘until death do us part,' although we haven't made it official with the paperwork yet. It's not for any political reason or that we're waiting for this or for that, but maybe one day we will have an official ceremony."-Rachel Weisz on her relationship with Darren Aronofsky. [JustJared]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson snuck out of the official New Moon afterparty in order to spend time at another club with Joan Jett. Pattinson was spotted singing along to Pulp's "Common People," which means I'm obligated to like him now. [USWeekly]
• Amy Winehouse smokes cigarettes after she leaves the gym. [TheSun]
• "I like to wear crazy stuff. I mean, if I'm hanging out at home watching TV… But I like expressing myself, I like stuff that's not typical. I like being different. Being different and being eccentric feels normal to me." -Adam Lambert [JustJared]
• Nicole Richie is back home after spending time in the hospital in order to battle pneumonia. "But don't worry," her boyfriend Joel Madden notes, "all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
• "Oprah Winfrey is first and foremost one of my dearest friends and obviously the person who taught me everything I know about television. Her show was home for me for five of the most exciting years of my life. The Oprah Winfrey Show is the gold standard and I know that she will succeed at whatever she chooses to do next."-Dr. Phil. [E!]
• 50 Cent says he may settle down someday: "I think it could happen. You know, it has to be at the right time. I mean, you see Em make a decision to go home. He didn't want to wake up one morning and Hailie be grown. You know, your life in general, you gotta make choices at different points." [MTV]
• The famous glove that Michael Jackson wore during his first public performance of the moonwalk is being auctioned off today; pre-auction estimates place the glove's value at $40,000-60,000. [Yahoo]
• Project Runway winner Irena Shabayeva attempts to explain why she had "the bitch edit" on this season's show. [EW]
• Nick Lachey is set to host an a cappella singing contest for NBC. You know what that means! It's time to Do It, Rockapella! [People]
• Kim Kardashian is striking back at Star magazine for insinuating that she's had plastic surgery, writing on her blog: "It's no secret I contour my nose now to make the bump go away! I guess it's a compliment to my makeup artist that he does such a good job contouring my nose that it appears smaller. But hey, Star mag thinks it looks smaller... yay! My dream come true, hahaha! Stories like this are so funny! I love that there's a Dr who I've never even met giving his 'professional' opinion on my face!" [KimKardashian]
• Hugh Hefner says that his favorite book is The Great Gatsby, the love of his life is his current girlfriend, Crystal Harris, and that Robert Downey Jr. is being talked about as a potential Hefner in an upcoming film based on his life. [Guardian]
• James Roppo a senior VP of sales at Island/Def Jam records, was arrested yesterday after a mall event he organized featuring tween sensation Justin Bieber got out of control, with "10,000 screaming fans" showing up to get autographs from the singer. [NYDN]
• "And then there are the paparazzi, who always want you to fail. Last night when I arrived they were all going, ‘Smile, smile'. I was smiling but they were shouting, ‘You're so f***ing boring'. Then one fell into a flower pot. That made me laugh a lot. I hate them. There are actors who want that attention, but I don't care about any of that." -Robert Pattinson [TimesOnline]
• "I've been blessed to be able to be eclectic, and I am thankful for that. As I got older, with my work, I became aware of the responsibility of film, and I feel one of the best ways I can apply myself as an actor is to go beyond movie stardom and celebrity. These movies, these so-called "popcorn movies," or "family movies," actually provide something quite beautiful and something quite necessary — which is a family bonding experience. So God bless the popcorn film. Especially movies where you can take the kids, because I remember looking forward to seeing these movies with my parents, and if I can give that back, I'm going to do it. I don't care if people have criticism for it or not, I think it's a good thing."-Nicolas Cage [Film.com]

• How do we feel about the fact that Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character for an '80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night? [Page Six]

• ANTM winner Nicole Fox had a "secret" meeting with Robert Pattinson… meaning, she ran into him backstage at Regis & Kelly. She says: "I was backstage going to the bathroom-in a bathroom I probably wasn't supposed to be using. But when I came out, [Pattinson] was in the hallway, like two feet away from me, [just] standing there. He was surrounded by his throng of people. And so I didn't want to feel like a dorky fangirl. I just looked down at my shoes and walked away." Of course Nicole admits: "I haven't seen the Twilight movies… Perhaps I will begin to watch [them] now that I saw him in real life." [E!]
• Madonna visited a "lawless favela" in Rio — and wore a bullet-proof vest under her leather jacket. Doesn't she know that music makes the people come together? Doesn't she know that music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's guard dog, Floyd, attacked a flight attendant on a private jet; and an animal behaviorist says the German Shepherd is a menace who needed counseling. [NY Daily News]
• Monday is the series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and in the ep, the two "continue to make the transition into single parenthood." Kate takes the kids to milk a cow; Jon takes them to a fire station. [NY Daily News]
• MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett suggests that this Thanksgiving, we should be grateful for the end of Jon & Kate. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says while the director is imprisoned in Switzerland, his wife and two children are "very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak" for them. [MSNBC via AP]
• Tila Tequila says her naked Ustream rant — which has since been removed from the interwebs — was caused by "flashbacks" and "pressure" related to her allegedly violent incident with her ex, Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is set to do some songs at this year's Royal Variety Performance — which is attended by the Queen. This column questions whether she will actually pretended to stab herself to death while playing the piano and then hang from the ceiling, covered in blood — when the Queen is watching. [Daily Mail]
• Remember when hip-hop had beef? Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z are bringing it back. [Gatecrasher]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens — known in the tween mags as Zanessa — have not broken up, despite rumors. Things are going well, they are rich and young and sexy and happy, etc, etc, etc. [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Kate Major's lawsuit is a joke. Finally we agree on something! [Radar Online]
• Audrina Patridge from The Hills and Mark Sallin, aka Puck from Glee: Spotted flirting and leaving a party together. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Amber Rose spotted without Kanye. [Page Six]
• Kathy Hilton has been in touch with the Jacksons and says that Paris, Prince and Blanket are "wonderful" and their "grandmother is incredible" and they "could not be in better hands." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate testified yesterday, saying that she was living in a West Virginia motel around the time a police chief allegedly broke into her home in Ohio. [NY Post]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, went to Turkey last year with daughter Princess Eugenie to investigate the treatment of mentally and physically disabled children in orphanages. The Duchess wore a dark wig and headscarf and posed as an aid worker to get the story for a TV exposé; now she's been served papers and may have to stand trial in Turkey — she's is accused of breaking laws that ban secret filming and trespassing on government property in the country. [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks had an appendectomy yesterday. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver believes that the James Cameron film Avatar will make all the money back, because people will see it several times. She also says Cameron was "always sweet" to her during Aliens. [NY Mag]
• The Jonas Brothers are promoting Xbox 360 with Jonas-centric ads. [NY Times]
• "Do lesbians rule Hollywood? Ask Jane Lynch." [Guardian]
• This video of Hayden Panettiere is bukkake/facial-esque. [The Life Files]
• Ruh-roh: Eddie Cibrian is suing Life & Style, because the mag published stories which allegedly "falsely portray Eddie as being unfaithful to LeAnn Rimes, as currently being in a romantic relationship with [some other woman] and as having abandoned his children." Can they get out of the lawsuit if, at the end of each story, the copy reads, "Aoccirding to a source"? [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost is publishing her autobiography, which will probably have details about her BFF Kate Moss, the catty fashion world, and ex husband Jude Law. [Daily Express]
• When Jamie Cullum said that girlfriend Sophie Dahl "has a face for radio," he was probably joking. [Daily Express]
• Uma Thurman will play Robert Pattinson's wife in a film called Bel Ami, based on a Guy de Maupassant's short story. [The Hollywood Reported]
• James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of six years. [USA Today]
• James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years. [USA Today]
• At the link, Freddie Mercury's mother talks about her son eighteen years after his death. [BBC News]
• "I think probably the first thing that was an incredible hurdle was that I wasn't going to be able to do this privately like most people, and that took a really long time to get over." — Chaz Bono, on the hardest part of his sex change. [People]
• "She sent me sexy pictures of herself in a bikini and stuff, but nothing worse than the stuff you find now by just Googling her name." — one of Carrie Prejean's ex boyfriends — and not the one she sent the "solo sex tape" to. [E!]
• "It was scary, but it was so much fun. It was great seeing that we were all feeling the same way. There was a great support system on that set, all the actors with each other and with Rob [Marshall]. I had danced classical ballet before, so this was very different from what I had studied. We had a room in our building and we were all taking different classes. We would all pass each other in the hallway. All day, training. We all felt so free and so happy. Music was so present everywhere. That elevates people, music. It was so addictive, that experience." — Penelope Cruz on the six-week rehearsal period she, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard had for Nine, in which they took dancing and singing lessons. [USA Today]
• "What people don't realize is, I am managing my image, more than maybe the editor of OUT magazine likes to give anybody credit for. My team is a team. And I really feel fortunate that 19 Management and Simon Fuller said to me, from the get-go, 'We want to do what you want to do. You need to tell us how you want to do things, what interests you have,' and they've been incredibly supportive of me. I really mean it. I'm not being puppeted around. I didn't want to jump onto a gay magazine as my first thing, because I feel like that's putting myself in a box and limiting myself. It was my desire to stay away from talking about certain political and civil rights issues because I'm not a politician. I'm an entertainer. That is not my area of expertise. I can talk about relationships and personal experiences because as an artist those things involve writing lyrics and that part of my process. But I didn't feel comfortable talking about the March on Washington. I didn't feel comfortable, so I asked my publicist to ask the interviewer to stay away from the political questions. I take full responsibility for that. I think that the editor has his agenda and has his opinions, which I respect, but they're not necessarily my opinions. And I wish there was a little respect for that. Not every gay man is the same gay man." — Adam Lambert. [EW]
• "I've never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it's all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it's more willing to stay that way. That's Zac's hair tip." — Zac Efron. [Time]
• "[When I was younger] I wasn't confident in my sexuality but I had these thoughts, these desires and these passions inside me. I never knew how to exorcise them until probably the first time I had sex, and it was a great experience. I felt like, why should I be so hindered about this? [I thought about porn] …I thought, why should sex have to be dirty or scary? And if it is, why can't you turn that into a positive thing and work through that sensually and find something good out of that, something pleasurable." — Sasha Grey. [Telegraph]
• "I would not say that I lost faith in Twitter, I would say that I lost faith in my ability to negotiate it. I don't know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining. Their resentment, their desire to be heard at the most vituperative level, at the most unpleasant and malevolent, genuinely ill-willed malevolent, level is terrifying and I am very often simply not able to cope with that. Twitter is usually not like that... [but] I found that the @ mentions were just getting... I could see these comments that would just make me upset." — Stephen Fry. [Guardian]
• "I've had some bad moments where I've woken up under a car with the engine still running." — Zach Galifianakis. [Page Six]
• "She wears really, really attractive underwear." — Bono on his wife. Well, not on. But maybe. [Gatecrasher]
• "They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy." — Tina Fey. [Page Six]

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler: DATING! Well, they went to dinner, and they were at a table with friends; but they were talking laughing and flirting, so clearly, it's on. [Page Six]

• "David Letterman Sex Tape Shocker"? There may be a studio surveillance tape of Dave and a "much-younger female co-worker in a compromising position." [Natiional Enquirer]
• Michael Jackson's kids were being driven to karate class by their nanny, Grace Rwaramba, when the paparazzi began chasing them. A photographer's car smacked into the back of a Jackson car — but not the one with the kids in it — a security vehicle following the kids' car. The kids are fine, the damage was minor, there are no injuries. [TMZ, People]
• Meanwhile, LaToya Jackson is telling people she will be the next Jackson to die: She believes Michael was murdered and thinks she is next because she knows too much. [TMZ]
• The John Travolta extortion case has ended in a mistrial; the judge is ordering a retrial. [AP]
• Roman Polanski will probably be extradited to the US to face sentencing. [LA Times]
• Champagne and sparklers arrived for Lindsay Lohan while she was out at a club, and the DJ announced: "23 bottles of Cristal for Lindsay Lohan's 23rd birthday!" LL said: "I don't know why they are doing this. My birthday is July 2nd." [Page Six]
• Richard Gere arrived on the red carpet for Amelia and a reporter fainted. Hard to tell if the two incidents are related. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna reportedly turned over "her entire catalog" to Glee for covering… Except Madonna didn't write all her songs. Roger Friedman argues: "Don't get me wrong: Madonna is a spectacular, hard working performer and a force of nature. She's a fashion icon and she knows how to cause a commotion. So let's give the credit where it's due, but let's not pretend she's Lennon and McCartney. Glee will be gleeful for a lot of songwriters if they use Madonna's hits in the show." [Showbiz 411]
• Alicia Keys was at NYU yesterday — specifically, the Clive Davis Department of Recorded Music. She debuted two songs and told students (aspiring songwriters) "Just keep it simple. Every time I go into the studio, I don't know what to do. I say Alright, how I do this again? Part of songwriting is the journey." [Showbiz 411]
• Lily Allen didn't just quit Twitter. She's also quit MySpace and email, and given away her laptop and Blackberry. How long will it last?!?!? [Telegraph]
• WTF headline of the day: "Time Catches Up With Demi Moore As The Aging Actress Finally Shows New Wrinkles." They're not contagious, you know. Calm down. [NY Daily News]
• Was the burglary at Kourtney Kardashian's house an inside job? Kourtney and Scott were only away from the house — which is in a gated community — between 7 PM and 8:30 PM the night of the break-in; TMZ alleges that someone must have known where the jewels were to get in and out so quickly. [TMZ]
• I couldn't even read this piece about Lil' Wayne's gun possession case because I was distracted by how dapper he looks in his courthouse-appropriate ensemble. [NY Daily News]
• Did you know that Julia Stiles is a die-hard Mets fan? [Ed: Yes.] [Page Six]
• Salman Rushdie showed up at a party with a writer named Min Lieskovsky. This column points out that she wrote in Elle Girl last year: "I'm addicted to male models." [Page Six]
• "Real" housewife Jill Zarin has poor theater etiquette. [Page Six]
• Lifetime is pulling the episode of Wife Swap which stars the Heene family. [NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Balloon Boy's mom has hired her own lawyer. [NY Post]
• The Los Angeles County Museum of Art's film department is doing a series called "Audrey Hepburn: Then, Now and Forever." At the link, various people who worked with Hepburn discuss her "magic." Director Peter Bogdanovich says: "She was the opposite of the diva. She never complained." Robert Wagner gushes: "She was like velvet to work with. She was just an amazing woman. I adored her." [LA Times]
• Marley Shelton plays a young gallerist in (Untitled), which mocks the art world, and says: "How do you parody something that is changing every second?" [LA Times]
• Smallville co-star Sam Jones III: Busted for conspiracy to deal oxycodone pills. [NY Post]
• Whatshername has a new book. [Mirror]
• "This is a character who gets to a point where she starts to doubt her purpose and feels invisible in her own body. I think a lot of women will relate." — Uma Thurman on Motherhood, the film in which she plays a a fiction writer-turned-stay-at-home-mommy blogger who, for a parenting magazine contest, tries to write 50 words answering "What does motherhood mean to me?" [USA Today]
• "The idea of sex with a man doesn't turn me off, but I don't express it. I satisfied my curiosity about that years ago. I had lots of sex between the ages of three or four and the time I was fourteen or fifteen. Strange experiences with older boys. But men don't particularly turn me on. And, no, John and I have never been lovers. He's not my type. Too short and dark." — Daryl Hall of Hall & Oates in a 1985 Rolling Stone piece, when asked if he and John Oates were lovers. This interview is called a "Mid-80s Career Suicide" by Roger Friedman. [Showbiz 411]
• "I have another book I'm working on and I have a movie coming out. I'll probably just stay in the movies but I would like the sort of music career to have a little life of its own, that I tour once a month, a year, something with some new songs or maybe a new record here and there. But I don't have a big adventure plan and I'm not constantly looking for what's next." — Steve Martin. [Mirror]
• "I would do the baby voice and it's kind of like this character I made up, but in real life I'm completely different, I'm very down to earth, I'm smart, I know what's going on. It's kind of like I almost play to the image and kind of have a laugh at myself about it. I think a lot of people will assume that I'm just like an airhead. But in my everyday life, when I'm hanging out with my friends or if I'm in a business meeting I'll talk in my normal voice." — Paris Hilton. [Mirror]
• "It's so scary to think about such a thing. I don't know if I'm an Oscar-worthy actress or I'm in an Oscar-worthy film." — Precious star Gabourey Sidibe. [BBC News]
• "When we found out that music was being used as part of the torture going on at Guantanamo, shackling and beating people - we were angry. Just as we wouldn't be caught dead allowing Dick Cheney to use our music for his campaigns, you can be damn sure we wouldn't allow him to use it to torture other human beings. Congress needs to shut Guantanamo down." — The Roots, who, along with Trent Reznor, REM and Pearl Jam have joined the National Campaign to Close Guantanamo and are against using "Metallica, Britney Spears and rap music" as part of the torture there. [MSNBC]
• "I'm not gonna sit here and eat my lunch and talk about Kim. You want to ask me about something about myself, I'd be glad to talk to you about it. I have a book. I'm doing a lot of things. I'm not interviewing about Kim." — NeNe Leakes of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta gets testy in this interview. [LA Times]
• "You can't play Amelia Earhart and not learn how to fly. That's just wrong in every way. [Flying] is something I take very seriously. I'm not a big sweater, but when I land, my back is drenched. It takes a lot of concentration. It's really exhilarating." — Hilary Swank, who plans to earn her pilot's license after she's done promoting Amelia. [USA Today]

• Stephanie Seymour's divorce from Peter Brant is getting even uglier. After police were called to the couple's home following Seymour's complaint that Brant's security assaulted her, Brant has accused the model of drug use and is seeking sole child custody:

• Brant alleged in court filings that Seymour sought treatment for Vicodin abuse, and subsequently became addicted to the drug Subutex, which is used to treat opiate addiction. He says Seymour has missed multiple court-required breathalyzer tests, and has twice submitted urine samples that, though clean of Subutex, were too cold to meet the minimum valid temperature. The media mogul also says Seymour "broke in" to the couple's Florida mansion and removed $700,000 worth of items, all while the kids sat in a hotel in Connecticut. [NYP]
• When fashion goes Galt, you know we're in trouble. [TDB]
• Nanette Lepore, Michael Kors, Zac Posen, Anna Sui, Betsey Johnson, and that guy who was just endorsed by Barack Obama, whatsisname, Bill Thompson, will be on Seventh Avenue on Wednesday for a rally to save the New York Garment District. Twenty-five thousand people work in the district, and designers say they need their convenient access to sample houses and manufacturers it provides, but lax enforcement of existing zoning laws and competition from cheaper labor sources overseas have led the zone to dwindle. [NYDN]
• Not to be outdone, Mayor Bloomberg — whom some designers have criticized for failing to do enough to protect the garment district — is launching a fashion incubator program for 12 up-and-coming designers this fall. [NYP]
• Woody Allen is reportedly considering casting Adriana Lima in his new movie, which is set in Rio de Janeiro. Because he's "fascinated" by her beauty. [NYP]
• "My fashion advice is to have a flattering mirror at home and then forget about it," says Vivienne Westwood. The designer lives in Captain Cook's old house, and has never sold out to a larger company or a private investor, despite some offers. And some polite nos: reports Cathy Horyn, one backer in the 90s picked another designer instead. "They could have made money with me. They lost it. I'm a woman," says Westwood. "I'm like household management or whatever it is. I would never spend more than I have." [NYTimes]
• Tim Gunn has a cameo in the Sex And The City sequel. [E!]
• JMS, a brand owned by Hanes, is adding a dedicated plus-size apparel line to its existing plus-size offerings, which were mainly jeans and underwear. It'll be sold at Wal-Mart and the creative director promises "slimming seams, strategically placed pockets, freedom of movement and appropriate-weight materials." [WWD]
• Christian Louboutin, the designer who slimmed down Barbie's ankles when he had the chance to release a line of dolls under his own name, says he never meant to imply her ankles were big before. "Fat ankles she didn't have, she just could have had thinner ankles," explained Louboutin. Still digging, then. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik: "I hate celebrities. All those pointless girls — I won't name names, but you know who I mean. They are 'famous'. Ridiculous. I like women with style: actresses like Uma Thurman, icons like Audrey Hepburn. I like women with style to wear my shoes." [Vogue UK]
• Model Selita Ebanks joins Sinbad, Darryl Strawberry, and Cyndi Lauper in the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. [NYDN]
• Pat Field made a tote bag for Diet Coke to give away with purchase, which will be available later this month from Boots stores. [Daily Express]
• Erin Wasson, presumably to avoid her dreaded homelessness, makes an appearance in the fall J. Crew catalog. She eats a necklace in one shot. [Refinery29]
• Something called the Japan Jeans Association given the country's first lady, Miyuki Hatoyama, its Best Jeanist Award. (She shares it with a pop star and an actor.) Pleased, the 66-year-old Hatoyama said, "This is the prize I have long wished to win. I'm a jeans lover. I'm always putting on jeans as they're easy to wear." She also recalled that she and her husband were each wearing jeans when they met. [AFP]
• Gee, we're so glad reporter Giles Hattersley puts that nice boss, successful businesswoman, and maker of lovely shoes Tamara Mellon in her place in this hard-hitting profile. Apparently she smokes, wears "teensy" dresses, and altogether reminds Hattersley of "the heroine of some dicey Danielle Steel bonkathon." Can't have that. [ToL]
• Love Moschino, the Italian company's lower-priced clothing line, is adding accessories to its collection. [WWD]
• Georgia May Jagger, already having nabbed the Hudson Jeans campaign, is now the face of Rimmel cosmetics. [Telegraph]
• Yasmin le Bon's daily life: "If lunch is at home then I tend to eat up leftovers from the fridge. I'm the leftover queen. I can't help it. I might mix them into an omelette or throw them all into a soup. One of the children won't eat soups any more because she's worried what old food I've put in it. Simon's mother, Ann Marie, often comes round with homemade bread and cakes." [ToL]
• Alvin Ailey company dancers will wear Mark & James, Badgley Mischka's just-announced lower-priced line, to their season opening gala on December 2. [WWD]
• Henry Holland kinda maybe sorta wants to move to New York. "Every time I come, the need to live here becomes more and more urgent and I want to go home less and less. I spend my entire time here plotting about how I would do it." But even if he did cross the Atlantic, he says he would still show his line in London. [Grazia]
• The luxury market, once in free-fall, is still declining, just not as steeply as some analysts earlier expected. Instead of the overall 10% drop in luxury sales that had originally been forecast for 2009, analysts say the industry is on track for an 8% decline in sales. [WSJ]

• Someone broke into Kourtney Kardashian's home on Saturday night, taking thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Hollywood: Step up your security! [TMZ]

• As you may know, there's been a rash of burglaries involving young stars this year: Paris Hilton, Audrina Patridge, Hayden Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson's homes have all been broken into in the last 10 months. Oh, and Orlando Bloom was burglarized, too. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are back together, and things are going well: "We just made the decision that we want to make it work, and the time off was really beneficial for the both of us," KK says. "I think sometimes people need to take a break just to take time off to see how much they need each other and how much they really are compatible." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom now have a prenup. He'll keep the $33 million he makes in his 4 year contract with the Lakers. Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage; and the two will have a joint account. Romantic! [TMZ]
• Hug your neighborhood Goth: Trent Reznor got married on Saturday. [E!]
• Beyoncé has postponed a concert in Malaysia; female performers there must be covered from shoulders to knees, with no cleavage showing. Time to rethink that "Single Ladies" leotard. [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan "shocked" people by being "in control all night" at a party. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love failed to show up in court on Thursday in a case involving Elite Maids and non-payment; the judge ruled against Courtney and she needs to write a check to the cleaning service for $3,058.48. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Paris Hilton Lands Movie Role, Demands Lobsters." [Page Six]
• Stephanie Pratt was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence early Sunday morning in Hollywood. She'd just left Holly Montag's birthday party and apparently didn't arrange for a designated driver. [TMZ]
• Stephanie Pratt was "cooperative" and there were no issues with her arrest. She was taken into custody at 3:45 am and released at 10:30 am. [People]
• Here's a picture of Stephanie partying before her DUI. What's with the tongues? [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor took Michael Jackson's three kids to a theme park on Friday. From her wheelchair, she watched the children go on rides and enjoy the Halloween Horror Nights event. [Daily Express]
• By the by, Liz Taylor saw the new Michael Jackson documentary, This Is It at a special secret screening. Word is: She loved it and thought it was "brilliant." [Showbiz 411]
• "Michael Jackson's embattled physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is quietly trying to sell his story." [Rush & Molloy]
• Susan Boyle must have liked the makeover she got from Harper's Bazaar: She used the images from that photo shoot as cover art for her album. [WWD]
• Kelly Bensimon flashed folks at a fête: "Raising her arm to wave goodbye, the Real Housewives star 'accidentally' revealed she was 'commando.'" [Page Six]
• Expect Josh Brolin's performance in Wall Street 2 to be Donald Trump-inspired. [Page Six]
• "The octomom's doctor has been expelled from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the main infertility professional organization." Nadya Suleman has said that her physician, Michael Kamrava, transferred six embryos, which exceeds the ASRM's guidelines. [USA Today]
• Did you know that Jon Hamm auditioned for the role of Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock? [Reader's Digest]
• "Madonna's 'Hung Up,' in which she dances provocatively in a pink leotard, has been voted the least sexy music video of all time." [Telegraph]
• You guys, stop talking about how Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy might be broken up. She says: "I'm not going to lie – it's not annoying, it's hurtful. Because he is like the most awesome person." And! "We are just trying to be really happy. It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there." [ONTD]
• Guess what Susan Sarandon is going to be for Halloween? Think "Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"! [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz stars in sci-fi thriller The Box, based on a 1970 short story and adapted and directed by the twisted genius behind Donny Darko, Richard Kelly. At 37, she gets asked about the quality of roles for women over 40, and says: "I'm not 40 yet and I don't know what I am going to want. I'm certainly not sitting here worrying about where I am going to be at, I am just making the most out of the life I am living as I have been doing all along." [News.com.au]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark mayor Cory Booker have ended their feud. Sort of. There's now a joke jar: jar. "Every time I made a joke about Newark… $500 would go into that joke jar," says Conan. Yet he adds: "You can rest assured that the money is safe, because the jar isn't in Newark." [NY Daily News]
• Gaga Ooh La La! New Lady Gaga song! Click to hear. [ONTD]
• Martha Stewart's deal with Kmart is dead. Long live Martha Stewart's deal with Home Depot. [NY Times]
• Nas has tax issues. [TMZ]
• Where The Wild Things Are made a monstrous $32.5 million at the box office. [AP]
• So you know how some dresses have little plastic straps inside for more stability on a hanger? And sometimes the straps pop out from under your armpits and look unsightly? Whitney Houston's dress straps broke while she was on TV. [The Sun]
• Monty Python: The Original Kings Of Gore. [Newsweek]
• Dan Aykroyd's father has a new book called A History of Ghosts: The True Story of Séances, Mediums, Ghosts and Ghostbusters; Dan has written the forward and says: "I've had to sell some really bad movies in my time, so it's great when you can get behind a good product." [USA Today]
• Someone paid $15,000 for a clump of Elvis' hair. [AP]
• Ted Danson upon meeting Dave Chappelle: "You are like a hero in my family." After the meeting: "Wow. That was cool. That was my claim to hip right there. That's my only claim to hip." [LA Times]
• Do red carpets make you nervous? Or the paparazzi? 
"Horribly nervous. The red-carpet thing is more of a problem. I had braces when I was a teenager and taught myself not to smile. I never deprogrammed myself from that. When they're shouting 'Smile!' I get nervous. You don't want to see my smile." Are you on Facebook? "I left Facebook. People contact you and they're out of your life, and I don't know why they want to come back in. It's weird." — from a Q&A with An Education's Carey Mulligan. [Newsweek]
• Def Leppard has canceled the last segment of its North American tour — 23 shows — "due to unforeseen personal matters." [USA Today]
• "When I was 11, I auditioned for the part of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at school. I didn't go to an all-girls school, but the boys didn't want to do theater: the girls could then play the boys. I remember that I didn't get the part of Joseph and I was really upset. They cast me as the Pharaoh, and I remember doing an Elvis impression as the Pharaoh. I had this one moment when I realized that the Pharaoh part was actually more interesting than Joseph's. And, in some ways, that set the tone for my career. For me, it's often better to play the great character than the lead." — Samantha Morton. Click through for gorgeous photo shoot. [T Magazine]
• "He's one of the very few completely brilliant directors that I've worked with. There aren't really very many, I have to say, or it's a shame to say. To be an artist in terms of what you see and what you want to feel out of each scene, a kind of master of the technique and the technicalities of filmmaking, and a master of directing actors, which is usually the one that's missing — there are many who have no idea how to speak or to pull good work out of actors — is very rare. Roman was all those things." — Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski, who directed The Ghost, in which Ewan stars. [LA Times]
• "The best part for me now is that I think for the first nine months mom is so essential. When they start hanging out with dad more you're like, 'Wow I feel like a dad.' You go to music class and do fun stuff together, it's cool. It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." — Pete Wentz on fatherhood. [UPI via People]
• "When I was away [in prison], I wrote a lot of stuff, which will be released next year. I wrote a diary and songs. I got into trouble because I wrote on the wall: 'Some things are past understanding, you just need a place to land.' It was part of a lyric. I actually wrote a song about Amy [Winehouse] when I was in prison." — Boy George. [Daily Express via The Times of London]
• "I'll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk. Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.' I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was fucking drunk in Australia. Big deal.'" — John Stamos, in reference to his bizarre appearance on Mornings with Kerri-Ann in 2007. [Us Magazine]
• "I think I underestimated the way people bracket you. I thought I could wear what I wanted and be an actress and live my life in a certain way, and it would all be all right. I feel we live in the kind of culture now where you have to be very smart to navigate the right way, and I just don't have those smarts. I think with age and time it will change, but I can't obsess about it… This is what I have always wanted, to be on Broadway. I'm living my dream, and that's all you can ask for. At a certain point you have to ignore all the rest." — Sienna Miller, who is in After Miss Julie on Broadway. [NY Times]
• "I've had some absolutely great relationships and some not so great relationships. I've been in some relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you're incredibly happy and complete. I've had some easy and natural, made-sense breakups as well as some rough ones. I deal with them the same way we all do: I'm successful with some and not so successful with others. I don't think my experiences are any different than anybody else's, they've just been amplified a little more." — George Clooney. [Mirror]
• "Parenting is something you can't delegate. Yes, you can find help with the daily things, but that doesn't release you from the guilt and anxiety and concern. Is there ever a time when putting your needs ahead of your children's is acceptable? That is the overarching question." — Uma Thurman, on new film Motherhood. [NY Times]
• "Losing my mother was very traumatic. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. And now I'm older than my mom was when she died, which is pretty strange. She died when she was 35. [I lived with my father after that], he was a salesman and only in his early 60s when he died [of complications from diabetes]. I was 20. I miss him every day. He had a wild streak. He was funny, larger than life, and sad. He's probably in my performance more than I know. I started acting in grade school and kept returning to it in high school and college. Theater departments are usually a big collection of orphans and screwups-sort of lost tribes-and I found kinship there. When I started thinking about what to do with the rest of my life, acting was the only thing I kept coming back to." — Jon Hamm. [Reader's Digest]
• "When I look at digital, the dark side of it for me is the physicality that's being presented alongside the Internet. I think about that movie The Matrix, and about these bodies that are human batteries that support computers. I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, 'You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, "I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!" — Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, at the New Yorker Festival [NY Magazine]

• More on this is Midweek Madness, but Star is reporting that Justin Timberlake and Rihanna are "on." Here's the deal:

They've been talking and texting "nonstop" since the VMAs; but Rihanna doesn't want to be "his lady on the side." A source says: "She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?' And he hinted that things were cooling off between them." [Star]

• If you were at the Bourgeois Pig on East Seventh Street the other night, you would have seen Madonna eating with Jessica Seinfeld and Jesus Luz… Then Anderson Cooper "rolled up on his bicycle and joined them." [Page Six]
• Rose McGowan has broken off her engagement to Robert Rodriguez. Does this mean no Red Sonja? But what about the awesome poster?!?! [Radar Online]
• Uh-oh! Bomb scare on the set of The Green Hornet, starring Seth Rogen! [TMZ]
• Hospitalized twice in two days? Get well soon, Tori Spelling. [Page Six, People]
• Chris Brown says he's trying to make as much music as possible — while doing community service at the same time. Multitasky. [TMZ]
• "How to fix Jon and Kate? Lose the Eight… Kate Gosselin is and has always been the show's central character. How she mothers, how she bosses her husband around, how she cuts her hair and tucks her tummy - that's what the show is really about." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Lamar Odom says his wedding to Khloe Kardashian was not fake: "It's crazy how perception works in America when you're looking at things from the outside… Anybody that was there will tell you that it was a beautiful event and it was real." [People]
• Some hairstylist claimed he did Khloe Kardashian's hair for her wedding — at a cost of $4500 — but KK didn't actually use him and actually never heard of him. [TMZ, NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's estate is suing the "Heal The World Foundation," which claims it is linked to MJ, but had no connection to the pop star and, in fact, "became dormant before he died." [CBS News]
• Rihanna is being sued by a neighbor who claims she had been allowing cars to drive on his lawn to get to her driveway; she denies causing any damage. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe: Taking driving lessons. [Telegraph]
• Jessica Alba is in talks to join the cast of Little Fockers, along side Ben Stiller and Bobby De Niro. According to this story, she'll play an "attractive" pharmaceutical rep "whose looks wreak havoc on male characters." In other words: They don't need her to act. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Uma Thurman will star in Ceremony, a flick directed by Max Winkler — Henry's son. Uma will play an older woman who is about to get married when a young man falls for her; the young man will be played by Michael Angarano, aka Kristen Stewart's (ex?) boyfriend. [Variety]
• One of the defendants in the John Travolta case claimed to have document suggesting Travolta wanted his son dead; it was actually just a form that released medical professionals in the Bahamas from liability if Travolta decided to fly his son to a hospital in Florida. [TMZ]
• "An ambulance driver believed he had John Travolta over a barrel and wanted big bucks to keep embarrassing medical records secret, a witness testified yesterday." [NY Post]
• Randy and Evi Quaid's home in Marfa, Texas now has a cease and desist sign out front, because the Quaids has started remodeling job without permits. [Radar Online]
• Remember Edward Furlong? Terminator, American History X? His estranged wife just filed a restraining order against him, claiming he threatened to hire people to beat her with chains and bats. And! She claims he "is smoking cocaine and doing other various drugs. He is very unpredictable." [TMZ]
• This columnist gives Joy Behar's new show three and a half stars and writes: "if there's one thing wrong with Joy's great new show it's her old-lady Aunt Carmela hairdo. Please Joy, call me — I'll pay for you to go to my hairdressers." [NY Post]
• The Tate Modern museum in London has decided to display a naked photograph of 10-year-old Brooke Shields; critics want it withdrawn from the exhibition, called "Pop Life: Art In A Material World." [Daily Mail]
• A Steady Rain stars Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman reportedly attracted the highest weekly gross for a nonmusical production on Broadway. But as far as I know, neither of them take their shirts off! Weird. [NY Post]
• Bono may be a superstar, but he knows how to wait patiently for a table in a crowded restaurant. [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga sang over the phone at a fundraiser and helped earn over $10 million for charities. [Page Six]
• "Sean 'Diddy' Combs has signed with Universal Music Group's Interscope Geffen A&M label in a deal which includes his future albums and creates a new joint venture with Combs' Bad Boy label." [Reuters]
• Interesting: Melissa Gilbert is playing "Ma" in Little House On The Prairie: The Musical. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Hudson says her newborn baby boy is "the cutest thing in the world" and he "seems like he's very interested in music already." [People]
• "Heather Mills, Paul McCartney's one-legged ex-wife, will appear on the British TV show Dancing on Ice, according to the London Sun." [NY Post]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, has been sentenced to a year in jail for drunk driving and causing a fatal traffic crash in Southern California. [Breitbart]
• "A former teaching assistant who was employed by Wynonna Judd to home-school her two kids has been charged in Tennessee with distribution of child pornography." [E!]
• "Pink Floyd star leaves £24m to his children - but nothing to his three wives." [Daily Mail]
• "I had to think: 'What can I do with it? How can I make this fun?' I wanted him to be happy-go-lucky about the whole thing and not a conflicted, angry killer. More of the Hannibal Lecter school of killer: the killer you want at a party. I wasn't trying to banish Seth Cohen. I'm still me. He looks different and is morally corrupt. But I don't see it as a big departure." — Adam Brody, on his character in Jennifer's Body. [USA Today]
• "I went to Oregon to study permaculture and lived in an eco-village for a month outside Eugene. It's called Lost Valley. It was amazing and exactly what I needed, because there had been the Juno thing, where you're getting a lot of attention. You're learning how to live in a holistic way with the cycles of the Earth. At one point I was digging goat (manure) and putting it into a wheelbarrow, and while shoveling it, I just went, 'Oh, my God, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now.' "— Ellen Page on her life after Juno and before Whip It!. [USA Today]
• "I'm not a fancy person. I love small spaces. I like tiny cars. I don't buy things, aside from music and books." — Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "She's really sexy. I did my wardrobe fittings with her where we would just take our clothes off and look at our own bodies. We both have insecurities or flaws, but we were both like, 'How do we get over this? How do we be the sexiest we can be in this movie?' We pushed each other. We challenged each other. We developed a love affair that was based on truth rather than niceties." — Drew Barrymore on Ellen Page. [USA Today]
• "It took me all my effort to watch The Wire. And I only watched it because I was directing an episode in the last season. Then I watched the whole lot in a very short time and suddenly realized what a great thing I was in." —Dominic West. More from him at the link. [Telegraph]
• "I want to apologize to everybody. I had no idea what it would turn into." — Kristin Cavallari, on introducing Spencer and Heidi to each other. [Hollywood Crush]
• "She is not a nice person… Madonna laid the law down to me before we went out. [She said] I am not going to Disneyland, OK? That's out. I said, 'I didn't ask to go to Disneyland.' She said, 'We are going to the restaurant. And afterwards, we are going to a strip bar. I said, 'I am not going to a strip bar, where they cross dress. ... I am not going to there. If that's how it is, forget this whole thing. ... Afterwards, she wrote some mean things about me in the press. And I wrote that she is a nasty witch, after I was so kind to her." — Michael Jackson, in that new book by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. [CNN]

• Their movie's finished, so Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler went back to L.A. and had a "quiet dinner" on Wednesday. A source says:

They "appeared incredibly affectionate with one another" and were "kissing, hugging and leaning in to talk to each other for over two hours. But! They left separately and drove off in different directions. [Page Six]

• Victoria Beckham, who had been accused of leaving Medieval Times without leaving a tip, has sent a "generous gratuity" to her server, apologized for the mix-up, and all is well. [TMZ]
• More mixed feelings about Ellen on American Idol. [E!]
• Paula Abdul Tweeted: "I think Ellen will b a gr8 judge on Idol. She is wildly funny, talented and I wish her the best of luck!" [People]
• Oh Lord: Record labels are suing The Ellen DeGeneres Show, claiming that thousands of songs were played without permission. Boo, WTF, srsly? [Variety]
• In the Tila Tequila case, the San Diego County Sheriff's Department has handed off its evidence to the D.A,, and the D.A. has the power to file or reject charges against Shawne Merriman. Meanwhile, TT Tweeted: "A real man is able to apologize. A real woman is able to forgive and accept the apology......." [E!]
• Tila appears to have bruises all over her arms. [ONTD]
• This report asks, "Did a spurned request for a foursome lead to the fight between Shawne Merriman and bisexual girlfriend Tila Tequila?" The gist of it is that she walked in on him with two women, he asked her to join them, she got pissed and threatened to have sex with one of his friends; he choked her and threw her to the ground. [Page Six]
• Reports that Uma Thurman would be married at Kensington Palace in London: Wrong. [Daily Express]
• Picture this: Kanye West taking his first spinning class. FEEL THE BURN!!!1!! [Page Six]
• Either Stuart Townsend wears skirts or Charlize Theron likes to think he does. [NY Mag]
• If Penelope Cruz is pregnant, she's not saying. [Mirror]
• Looking for a job? Justin Timberlake is in search of an "Executive Vice President of Big Ideas" for his 901 Silver Tequila brand. The position comes with a signing bonus of $25,000. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl are not happy that players can unlock the Kurt Cobain character in Guitar Hero 5 and make him play songs by other artists like Bon Jovi and Bush. Novoselic and Grohl released a statement which read: . "It's hard to watch an image of Kurt pantomiming other artists' music alongside cartoon characters. Kurt Cobain wrote songs that hold a lot of meaning to people all over the world. We feel he deserves better." Courtney's Twitter feed contains similar outrage, but as this column notes: "we warn that the messages contain excessive profanity and demonstrate very poor grammar." [LA Times]
• Fashion's Big NIght Out saw Mary-Kate Olsen bartending at Bergdorf; Rihanna doing a five-minute lap around Intermix; and Ungaro's "artistic adviser," Lindsay Lohan, picking out a leather jacket at the store - then wearing it out the door after salesgirls ripped the tags off. [Gatecrasher]
• David Cross's new memoir, I Drink For A Reason, has an "amazing" author bio, which announces that he is "currently fucking Amber Tamblyn" and features a photo of her father, Russ Tamblyn. Cross says: "I cleared it with her, of course. She has an amazing, great sense of humor. She told her dad and her parents are super cool. Her dad laughed even harder than we did… So now we have to, like, stay together for a while." [NY Mag]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: A Tinsley Mortimer reality show is in the works. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff on her breakup with Maksim Chmerkovsky: "It comes with the territory that everything is in the public eye, but again, it is a private matter, it is a private relationship, and it should totally stay private." [ET]
• Ghostface Killah is dedicating some tracks on his new album to Natalie Portman. "I read in some interview she did in something called Interview magazine that she likes obscene rap music," Killah says. "When I read that, it was, like, 'Oh, shit, she would love the shit I got right here on this album!' It was wild, 'cause I remember her as the little girl in The Professional, and now she's all about the wild shit." Killah added, "Yo, if you see her, give her my number. Tell her we gotta make some music together." [Page Six]
• Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno is a web sensation! [AP]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert that was supposed to be in Vienna has been canceled. A new event will take place in London next year. [AP, Reuters]
• Maura Tierney has left the NBC show Parenthood, because of her ongoing treatments for breast cancer. [Variety]
• A woman went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig on Broadway in A steady Rain and says: "They were great, but we could have done with more nudity." [NY Daily News]
• As you may recall, Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica Seinfeld, wrote a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food. Missy Chase Lapine wrote a book called The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals, and accused Seinfeld of copying her. A judge has thrown out the lawsuit and Seinfeld's lawyer says: "Jessica did not copy anything from anyone and created her best-selling cookbook in her own kitchen from her own experiences." Case closed. [USA Today]
• LaToya Jackson owes $745,670.27 on her "swanky" condo in Las Vegas, and could lose her home unless she comes up with the cash by the end of the month. [TMZ]
• Yee-haw: "Josh Hartnett has signed on to star in Gunslinger a revenge-driven tale set in the near future in the snowy wasteland of a post-apocalyptic America." [Variety]
• Fran Drescher is in talks with Fox News; she wants her own talk show. She's A Democrat, but says: "A lot of my fans watch Fox News." [US News & World Report]
• "I enjoy teaching. There is no stress. The students are great. Making movies is a nightmare. It's all about time management and stamping out brush fires. With this one, I'm just lucky I got it made and wasn't sued. I guess that means it's a success." — Todd Solondz, on his quasi-sequel to Happiness, Life during Wartime. [Guardian]
• "To have him pass away, I'm sure the term has been used before but you could actually feel a light go out.... All of a sudden, I had a responsibility [with] the only movie adaptation, and that's something I never wanted. His work will always be, and I mean it with all due respect to the movie and the cast, his work will always be better than the movie could have been. The fear was that this project that had been such a passion project now has a responsibility." — John Krasinski, on directing a film based on the short-story collection Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, by the late David Foster Wallace. [WSJ]
• "When I first read the script, I said, 'I know why they are calling me to do this — because they need a hunk to justifying why this woman is with him.'" — Antonio Banderas, on his role in the film The Other Man, which stars Laura Linney. [LA Times]

• Charlize Theron has nabbed the September cover of a slimmed-down Vogue. The issue counts only 584 pages, compared with the 840 pages of Sienna Miller's 2007 issue. Theron last made the cover in October 2007. [TFS]

• Kate Moss is the fall face of Just Cavalli. Splitting the difference between the competing trends of top- and bottomlessness, she poses for one ad in a tuxedo jacket and nothing else, and for another in some kind of leopard-print leotard. In a third, she wears a micromini sequined dress that seems to be held up with magic. [FWD]
• Legendary photographer Corinne Day — whose pictures of Kate Moss for The Face helped put the supermodel on the map — is facing a serious illness, and requires expensive medical treatment. Friends are trying to raise money by selling 500 prints of a 2001 photo of Moss nude on a bed; the pictures are £100 each. [LOVE, link NSFW]
• The first images of Jil Sander's hotly anticipated +J line for Uniqlo have just surfaced, and it looks fantastic. Japanese magazine Non-No shot seven looks from the men's collection, and it's entirely apparent that the German designer has not lost her talent for tailoring and her ability to pare down a look to its most basic, striking elements during her years in the fashion wilderness after being fired from her namesake label by owners Prada. +J, which hits Uniqlo stores this November, includes around 140 pieces of men's and women's wear, and prices start at $25. [Hypebeast]
• Macy's has announced that Ne-Yo will be the new face of Alfani's Red men's wear. [WWD]
• Uma Thurman has the campaign for Givenchy's new Angel or Demon perfume. [The Sun]
  
• Under Isaac Mizrahi's direction, Liz Claiborne continues to seek a higher-fashion image without shedding its affordability. To wit: this fall, Coco Rocha and her old flaming red hair star in a very kaleidoplaid campaign. Also, count this as another example of the models-in-the-supermarket fashion imagery trope. [Design Scene]
• Patrick Robinson and his design team at the Gap have been concentrating on the basics — and particularly on revamping the company's various styles of jeans. To advertise the offerings, the company has chosen a bevvy of top models, including Carmen Kass, Anja Rubik, and Arlenis Sosa, each identified with a particular style of denim — "The Boyfriend," "Curvy," "Long & Lean," etc. We wonder who it was, though, who chose to put the lesbian model Freja Beha Erichsen next to giant type that reads "Real Straight." [Models.com]
• Loeffler Randall is adding e-commerce to its website. [WWD]
• Jewelry designer Anna Sheffield's collection for Target hits stores at the end of this month. The pieces range from $19.99-$79.99; some are made of sterling silver. They all look very cool. [Lucky]
• You know the economy's terrible when Jessica Seinfeld serves pigs-in-blankets to Gwyneth at a charity gala. [WWD]
• In Paris, several recent fashion school graduates are starting their own lines — with a difference: instead of focusing on the tradition ready-to-wear, these young designers each want to do small collections made-to-measure for each client. And the prices are right: 50-80 Euros for a shirt, 70 Euros for a dress, 150 Euros for a jacket. In putting an affordable price on services that are something more than tailoring and something less than couture, with all its connotations of excess, these youngsters have almost certainly found a gap in the market. [DazedDigital]
• Meanwhile, shoe designer Jeffrey Campbell knocked off a Chloé boot. His offerings this season are basically just Ann Demeulemeester's and Balmain's shoes done for cheap(er). How is it this guy hasn't gotten sued yet? (Of course, Chloé probably took inspiration for their shoes from some vintage boots.) [The Greyest Ghost]
• And there are also instances of high-end brands ripping off less-expensive ones. Cf. Proenza Schouler's version of the Frye boot. [On The Fringe Of Fashion]
• After the record-breaking sale of all the art he collected with Yves Saint Laurent, partner Pierre Bergé plans to go ahead with an auction of furniture, sculptures, and textiles in November. The works are expected to fetch around $5.7 million; the proceeds will go to AIDS research. [WWD]
• Miss J's new memoir, Follow The Model: Miss J's Guide To Unleashing Presence, Poise And Power contains a troubling blind item about not being let in to a fashion show on the explicit instructions of the head of the PR company running the designer's front-of-house operations. The PR company seems to be Kelly Cutrone's People's Revolution, and the designer — specified as Brazilian — seems to be either Carlos Miele or Alexandre Herchcovitch. Was Miss J denied entry because he is black, or because he now bears the taint of Night-Time Tyra? The latter seems unlikely, since Miss J points out that the same designer later begged America's Next Top Model to use his line for the finale runway show when ANTM went to Brazil in Season 12. (That particular laurel went to Rosa Chá.) [Fashionista]
• The New York Fashion Week menswear schedule is out, and it contains some surprises. This season, Yigal Azrouël is killing his separate men's wear presentation, and combining his two shows into one. Philip Lim is doing the exact opposite, adding a separate men's wear presentation. [WWD]
• Feast your eyes on ShopBop's "WARTIME" array of products, and ponder the aestheticization of orchestrated human killing. [ShopBop]

• Joe Jackson says the rumors that Michael Jackson has a secret son, 25-year-old Omer Bhatti (not pictured!), are true. "I knew he had another son, yes I did," said Joe.

• He added: "He looks like a Jackson, he acts like a Jackson, he can dance like a Jackson…" When asked if Omer may become an entertainer Joe replies, "I don't know. I can't say that yet. Not until I see it happen," and gives a creepy laugh. Part of the News One interview is available here: [News One, E!]
• This morning on The Early Show, Katherine Jackson's lawyer announced that she will get custody of Michael Jackson's three kids and Debbie Rowe will have visitation rights. He added, "Mrs. Jackson is coping by continuing the business of love and serving as that rock for the family. She's the Rose Kennedy, the Coretta Scott King of the world's entertainment business, really. And she's coping by continuing to give love, and that's all she's ever done. Mrs. Jackson is gonna keep going strong and, with the love and support of her family, she'll be fine." [CBS News]
• When Jude Law announced that he's fathered the child of an anonymous woman yesterday, many speculated that it was Rachel McAdams' sister. Now several news outlets are reporting that it is indeed Kayleen McAdams. Kayleen is reportedly seven months pregnant and only told Jude recently. Rachel is said to be "pissed" about the situation. [Star]
• But Kayleen's rep denies she's having Jude's baby, saying "The story is completely false. She has never even met him." [Radar Online]
• A photographer has filed a police report because he claims Mel Gibson ripped his shirt after he got too close to him and pregnant fiancée Oksana Grigorieva. No charges have been filed. [E!]
• Police sources say their investigation revealed the photographer made up the story and that there is no way Mel Gibson could have reached the man because he was wedged in a booth behind his fiancée. Witnesses say he was asked to leave at least three times and his shirt wasnt' ripped when he left the club. [TMZ]
• Here's a picture of the man whose shirt Mel Gibson allegedly tore. The tear isn't as scary as the way the man's face was blurred with Photoshop. [TMZ]
• Though Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush denied infidelity was the cause of their split, both have been accused of cheating. A source says Reggie found incriminating texts from Kanye West on her phone. Now a "sexy Latino model in Miami" is claiming she had an affair with Reggie. She's threatening to sell her story to the highest bidding tabloid, so we expect to read all about her in Midweek Madness soon. [Radar Online]
• Here's video of Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush taken during their trip to Africa on behalf of Russell Simmons' Diamond Empowerment Fund right before they broke up. [People]
• A source claims that Mischa Barton was hospitalized because she tried to kill herself because she was fired from The Beautiful Life, but was later rehired. Her rep denies that she tried to commit suicide or was ever fired. [E!]
• Mischa Barton's Beautiful Life co-star Nico Tortorella says, "She's doing great, and is ready to work... Everybody wants to see her get better and I think she will. I'm here for her; I think we all are. She has good people fostering good situations." [The Mirror]
• Jon and Kate Plus 8 returns on Monday. TLC has revealed that Kate Gosselin will say about her kids, "It is not their fault that what has transpired has transpired... And it is my new attitude that I'm going to do things I've never done before. That is what has stemmed out of all of that — 'I can do.'" [Entertainment Tonight]
• Sources claim Kate Gosselin bought an apartment in Rockville, Md. to be closer to her (married) bodyguard Steve Neild. [CBS News]
• But now Kate's changed her mind and won't be moving to Rockville after all. [Radar Online]
• A source close to Kate explains, "She is not buying or renting in the area. Kate was having lunch there, and after spending a total of one hour in a restaurant that has condos for sale above it, a rumor began that somehow, suddenly, she was buying a condo there. She didn't even know there were apartments for sale there. It's totally false." [People]
• Oh no. Are Heidi and Specer Pratt expecting a child? This obviously staged photograph of Heidi holding baby clothes as Spencer rubs her belly says yes. [The Sun]
• Two Ohio police chiefs have been arrested for allegedly conspiring to break into the home of Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate, along with a third man, the mayor of Bridgeport, Ohio's son. [TMZ]
• Katherine Dieckmann, director of Uma Thurman's new movie Motherhood says a cameo in which Jodie Foster is hounded by the paparazzi was inspired by Sarah Jessica Parker. "I would go to that playground all the time and poor Sarah Jessica Parker would come with her son and she would be harassed!" Dieckmann said. "She literally could not push her kid on the swing set without a picture being taken. I just saw a picture of [pregnant] Heidi Klum at that park. They come here and stalk people." [E!]
• Ashley Tisdale says of the paparazzi, "They're outside my house all the time. It's kind of annoying. Sometimes I'll go about my day by myself and there are 40-year-old men taking pictures of me and I don't know who they are. They should start wearing badges." [Reuters]
• Aliens In The Attic producer Barry Josephson says he wanted Ashley Tisdale to be in the movie because she's the "new generation Reese Witherspoon or Jennifer Aniston." Um... ok.[Reuters]
• Here's a video of Zac Efron bungee jumping. [People]
• Production of Jessica Simpson's reality show The Price of Beauty has to be rescheduled because of her split from Tony Romo. "The plan was to shoot most of it around Tony's football schedule so she could support him through the season," said a show staffer, "Now they're busy redoing the whole shooting schedule." [Us]
• Someone filmed a video of 19-year-old Kristen Stewart drinking a Heineken during an on-set party for The Runaways, then not buckling her seat belt as she drove away. The video has been taken down because her publicist says it was illegally shot on private property. [Perez Hilton]
• Nikki Reed has solved the mystery of why so many girls are in love with her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson. "Rob is sort of feminine looking and I think young girls like boys that look like women," she said. [People]
• Heath Ledger's family stopped going to the movies after his death, but they broke their "movie fast" at a screening of Adam on Tuesday, which stars Ledger's childhood friend Kane Manera. [The Daily Express]
• Dominic Monaghan says he his newfound fame after Lord of the Rings "was hard - I had a tough year, I had a tough year and a half. Kind of too much drinking. Too many late nights hanging out with the wrong women - maybe the right women but at the wrong time. Kind of going off the rails a little bit. I think maybe I had to do that personally to get over the rollercoaster ride that Lord Of The Rings was." [The Daily Express]
• Foreigner is releasing a three disk set of new and classic songs exclusively at Wal-Mart. Mick Jones says the band made the deal with Wal-Mart because, "To me, the most important thing is that the band regains recognition again and proves in a way that it is a force. It's been around for 30 years, and there are few other bands that have been around for that long. I'd like to regain our position in that club." [AP]
• Paula Abdul is back in the U.S. after a trip to England. She still hasn't worked out her American Idol deal, the folks at Radar just wanted to let you know where she is. [Radar Online]
• Last weekend, Tim McGraw stopped during a performance and kicked a guy out because he was "being abusive" to a woman he was with. He told the crowd, "You don't treat a woman like that." [TMZ]
• Pink says of MTV's Video Music Awards, "Last year I got to jump out of a window at the VMAs in L.A. "This year I can't wait to blow the roof off Radio City in New York." [People]
• Courtney Love Tweeted: "@taylorxmomsen shut the FUCK up you overpriveliged bratty bitch that picked one every freak in high school mention my name again? BAM... if i was pissy about every chick that every bit me id be busy indeed your just annoyingly cloyingly wrong. WORKWITHYRHANDS." Too bad @taylorxmomsen doesn't exist. [N.Y. Magazine]
• On Friday Christina Aguilera's online radio channel on Clear Channel's "iheart radio" network will debut. It will feature "interviews, news, personal commentary from Aguilera as well as her favorite tunes." [AP]
• Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant, will spend two days in jail after pleading no contest to DUI charges. [TMZ]
• This interview with Jeremy Piven may be slightly entertaining if you're into his new movie The Goods. [CNN]
• Amy Poehler will return to do Weekend Update on the first two episodes of Saturday Night Live next season. Really! [Entertainment Weekly]
• In a recent interview Leslie Mann said of husband Judd Apatow, "He's growing up and learning more about women so he's able to write better female parts," but then reconsidered and said of Katherine Heigl calling Knocked Up sexist, "I kind of don't know what she was talking about, I'm an actress reading scripts and I've seen what's out there and it's slim pickings. Judd does write great female parts." [CBS News]
• Ashton Kutcher autographed his own face for the new cover of Parade. Here's some more about how much he loves Demi Moore: "The real trick is putting yourself around people you admire. That's why I married my wife. I locked in the brightest light in the room. My wife and I have an agreement in our marriage, and part of that contract is that we are going to shine our lights on each other. … My relationship with Demi is so solid, thank God, and we're so communicative about the way that we're feeling, that we don't allow space to come between us." [JustJared]
• "I used to cry almost every night [when I was in high school]. My parents would say, 'Don't worry. College will be better!'... With high school, for many people, it's just a case of trying to keep breathing and getting through it. I'd have felt more like a normal teenager if I had a boyfriend. But I never did. And I didn't like any of the guys in school. In fact, they all seemed so simplistic that I really could not see myself dating any of them." — Lisa Kudrow [The Telegraph]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar says he's not worried about Dustin Diamond writing a Saved By The Bell tell-all book because, "What is he going to say? We were banging groupies at 14? I can't wait to read his book, because I don't have a memory of a lot of the shows. Maybe it was because I was doing lines off of the audience members' asses. I'm sure he's going to write something crazy like that. The truth is─the reason why the show worked and why it's still on today─we were good people and good to each other. We were innocent, naive kids. We were not jaded. So him writing a book, I'm not really afraid of what he has to say. There are not too many skeletons in my closet." [Newsweek]
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took three weeks of pole-dancing lessons for her role as a stripper on Californication. When asked if her mom approves, she replied: "My mom came to a strip class with me, actually. She had been so curious about it, and she tried a little bit. She was awesome." [NY Magazine]

• Samantha Ronson reportedly returned home at 5am last night to find that Lindsay Lohan had been waiting on her stoop for hours. The paparazzi caught Linds crying, demanding to know where Sam had been, and shrieking, "I'm your girlfriend!"

• Lindsay had apparently been waiting with an anonymous friend who Sam kicks out saying, "She's on my property, I don't know her, I want her out." The girl leaves and Lindsay follows Sam into the house, slamming the door behind her. Video here: [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have split, reports US. "Nobody cheated," said a source. Didn't they just go to Africa together? [US]
• A car Katie Holmes was sitting in on the Australian set of Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark started sparking and burst into flames seconds after she got out due to a problem with the car battery. "Katie was very shaken by the ordeal," said a source. "She took the rest of the day off while special effects staff looked over the faults. Katie has filmed scenes since but it has made her think about her safety on set. She will be shooting the same scene at a later date." [The Daily Mail]
• "A source very, very, very, very close to Jon Gosselin" revealed exclusively to RadarOnline.com that Jon is secretly still dating both Hailey Glassman AND Kate Major." Two things: is the source "very, very, very, very close to Jon" Jon Gosselin? Also, if this is how Jon keeps a secret what's his version of a public announcement? Is he going to go door to door introducing us to his new girlfriend? [Radar Online]
• A reporter Kate Major used to intern for at Chicago Now says Kate told her she and Jon Gosselin are together but he "can't talk" right now due to his "situation," meaning his pending divorce and contract with TLC. [Chicago Now]
• Tony Romo has instructed security to keep Jessica Simpson out of his Dallas home. A sign at the entrance to his gated community reads "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS." [Us]
• Here's some good news: Rihanna's rep says that though she and Chris Brown stayed at the same hotel over the weekend, it was just a coincidence and they're not back together. Maybe she can explain that concept to Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart fans too. [MSNBC]
• A parole hearing took place today for the man who killed Kelsey Grammer's sister in 1975 in an attempted robbery. Grammer tried to attend the hearing but his flight was delayed, so he wrote a letter saying his sister was "smart and good and decent," and "I can never escape the horror of what happened" to her ... "Please do not release this man from prison." The parole board decided Karen Grammer's murderer will stay in prison for at least another five years. [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson's new single "Already Gone" has the same backing track as Beyonce's "Halo" and Clarkson says it's all the her music producer's fault. "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinking 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyonce and Kelly the same track to write to ... no, they're just gonna be saying I ripped someone off," she said. [TMZ]
• The I.R.S has filed a $7,373 tax lien against P.Diddy's Atlanta restaurant Justin's Restaurant. Diddy says it's all a big mistake: the I.R.S. was sending notices to his identically named restaurant in New York that closed a few years ago. [The Detroit News]
• Tito Jackson has confirmed that Michael Jackson's body is at Forest Lawn cemetery. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Debbie Rowe just showed up at the Beverly Hills office of her former boss Dr. Arnold Klein, supposedly to visit another doctor who works in Klein's office. [TMZ]
• Fans at a Jonas Brothers concert this weekend concluded that Joe Jonas broke up with Camilla Belle after he changed the lyrics to a few songs and appeared to cry during the song "Camp Rock." [The Mirror, Perez Hilton]
• Now Camilla Belle's rep has confirmed the breakup explaining, "There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends." [People]
• BREAKING: Victoria Beckham went to dinner with her hair in a bun. [The Telegraph]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has been threatened by the group of Palestinian terrorists featured in Bruno. A representative for The Martyrs Brigades released a statement saying they are "very upset" and will "respond in a suitable way." [The Telegraph]
• Lost creators Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof dropped some spoilers about season six at Comic Con, which you can read about here: [N.Y. Magazine]
• We're learning more fascinating details about Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday party on Saturday night. Liza Minnelli, Gayle King, and various Lopez family members were in attendance, and a witness says J.Lo and Marc Anthony "were affectionate with each other and obviously loving the night. Marc's arm was around Jennifer a lot, they'd give each other pecks on the face every now and then. She was clearly pleased with how the night went." [People]
• Entertainment Tonight just figured out that Mischa Barton has been released from psychiatric evaluation (even though Us reported it last week.) [Entertainment Tonight]
• Joel Madden says he's working on a memoir about his experience with kids, relationship, and moving to L.A., "but I don't want to put a book out there if it's not actually meaningful. I'm not going to go there unless I can deliver." [People]
• Robert Downey Jr. will star opposite Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, a comedy about an expectant father (Downey) trying to get to the birth of his first child. Director Todd Philips of The Hangover describes it as "a buddy comedy without the buddies." [Yahoo]
• Robert Downey Jr. said he thinks he and Jude Law have a special chemistry in Sherlock Homes, joking, "It's called circumstantial homosexuality." He added that even in real life, "We just became really close really quickly, because we just rolled up our sleeves and started working from jump." [People]
• Tobey Maguire wrote a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Tom Harkin saying, "As a parent, I am contacting you because I am deeply concerned that unhealthy school lunches are contributing to our nation's childhood obesity epidemic. My wife and I just had our second child, so this issue is tremendously important to us…Let me ask you please to ensure the Child Nutrition Act provides more fruits, vegetables, and healthy vegetarian foods. Young people deserve healthful food, and I can't imagine a better investment in the future of our country." [Politico]
• "I haven't chosen any other action films since Kill Bill because I felt that everything else just sort of paled by comparison. I don't like to get lulled into some hole that I can't get out of." — Uma Thurman [The Daily Express]
• Megan Fox says she's too afraid to watch horror movies, but she enjoyed starring in Jennifer's Body because, "For me to be able to play something that I would normally be frightened by was really intriguing and interesting... It's cool to see myself being able to scare people because I'm just a little girl." [People]

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

Can't really tell if the supposedly illustrative pictures at the link actually reflect that, but whatever. [Daily Mail]

• Oy: Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is working with VH1 on a new reality show costarring his girlfriend, Victoria Prince, and his kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Just what the world needs. [E!]
• Meanwhile, Britney's conservatorship might be coming to an end, when her tour winds down in November. She seems like she's doing pretty good, no? [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton's model-centric CW show, The Beautiful Life, will go on with or without her — which means that producers are casting a new recurring character as a Plan B., in case Mischa is not ready for filming the last week of July. [EW]
• Madonna is in Marseilles, where she visited with the victims of the stage collapse which left two dead. She met with the widow of a worker and also went to the hospital where eight injured workers are being treated. [Daily Mail]
• Burn Notice actor Jeffrey Donovan was arrested for DUI in Miami Beach. Nice stubble in the mug shot. [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman were seen hanging out in an upstate New York park, and "They kept stopping to make out - and they made out a lot." [Gatecrasher]
• The reporter Jon Gosselin had dinner with over the weekend often "uses her charms" to get stories, and sometimes wears wigs when she follows celebrities, so as not to be recognized. [Page Six]
• "Are Kate Gosselin and Madonna workout buddies? The Jon & Kate star has arms that mirror Madge's." [NY Daily News]
• It's official: Emma Watson will attend Brown University in the fall. [People]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy: Engaged! [Page Six]
• When Heidi Klum was followed by paparazzi as she took her kids to a NYC park last week, it was other parents at the park who were pissed: They asked the snappers to leave, and when the photographers didn't, the moms and dads threw water balloons at them. [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller has seen her GI Joe action figure, and she is not impressed. "My doll is cross-eyed and has the biggest chin you have ever seen. Action figures are always a bit off, aren't they? Oddly enough from side on, it is definitely me but front on she looks sort of possessed." [The Sun]
• Here's a video of Katherine Heigl talking about T.R. Knight going to do Broadway now that he's not on Grey's Anatomy: "That really pisses me off," she says. [E!]
• David Beckham's coach is criticizing the player for confronting jeering fans at the first home game of the season: "We appreciate our players and fans passion for the team and the game, but we all must aim to hold ourselves to higher standards." [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says the star is on the road to recovery: "A year ago, everyone was saying: 'Will she get through this, will she even survive?' And look at her now. We've got the old Amy back. I always knew she'd come through it. And I know she doesn't want to go back to the drugs. St Lucia was good in many ways because there were no hard drugs around, but she was bored, so she drank…She's put on a bit of weight and looks better than she has in a long time… She was busy cooking, so that's a good sign that she's actually eating. I think she's pleased to be home and I know she's happier now." [Mirror]
• Bonnie Somerville played Suzie Cavandish in Labor Pains, and she says of Lindsay Lohan: "She is supertalented. I had a great time working with her." [E!]
• A balloon company sent Jennifer Lopez a giant bouquet of balloons for her twins, which she promptly sent back. Maybe the colorful arrangement was not classy enough for Jenny from the block? [TMZ]
• Re: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson: A source says: "Tony pulled the plug because he couldn't stand the constant heat Jessica was putting on him to get married… The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica's birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Susan Boyle will appear in an interview on the Today show tomorrow, in which she says of sudden fame: "The impact, like a demolition ball. You know, and anyone who has that kind of impact — finds it really hard to get a head around it. I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the — the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [Reuters]
• "Harry Potter's love interest rivals Emma Watson in fashion stakes… Emma Watson finally has competition as the most glamourous Harry Potter screen siren after Bonnie Wright who plays Ginny Weasley was photographed looking equally spellbinding." [Telegraph]
• Mark Lester, godfather of Michael Jackson's children, claims that after the memorial service, 7-year-old Blanket Jackson seemed confused about what was going on. "It is obvious to me that Blanket is still unsure about what exactly happened to his father.He said, 'Where's Daddy gone? On holiday?' It was a rhetorical question and it broke my heart." [Mirror]
• The Jackson family is still "agonizing" over the decision of where to bury the King of Pop, but his body is "temporarily interred" at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park and Mortuary in Los Angeles. [People]
• Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live, where he seemed to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death: "The doctor gave him something to make him rest, and then he don't wake up no more. Something is wrong there," Joe said. [AP]
• Another report claiming that Katherine Jackson is being manipulated to dispute Michael's will. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says the rumor that he wants to take Michael's kids on tour as the Jackson 3 is "a bunch of jive." And when asked if he was abusive to Michael when he was a kid, he said: "That's a bunch of bull S." [CNN]
• August 29 would have been Michael Jackson's 51st birthday, and there may be two tribute concerts at London's O2 Arena in August to celebrate. [TMZ]
• Russell Brand. Goat farming. [RussellBrand.TV]
• Ciara is on the cover of Social Life magazine, but she skipped the party for the isue in East Hampton because she had a chance to go into the studio with Justin Timberlake. Social Life editor Devorah Rose has a much lengthier explanation, which you can read at the link if you wish. [Observer]
• There was some chaos at Chace Crawford's birthday party because the prettyboy didn't want to pose for photos. What the hell are we going to paste in our scrapbooks, hmm? [Page Six]
• Will Lizzie Grubman be on Real Housewives Of New York? Short answer: No. [Page Six]
• Jorja Fox: Returning to CSI. [UPI]
• Nicolas Cage is in talks to play the villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest; Seth Rogen will star. [Variety]
• Uma Thurman will star in Girl Soldier, an indie film about a cleric who helped rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. [Variety]
• "Tyler Perry is paying for 65 children from a Philadelphia day camp to go to Walt Disney World after reading about allegations that a suburban swim club had shunned them because of racism." [AP]
• Ryan O'Neal says he is dealing with Farrah Fawcett's death by answering condolence notes from her fans. [UPI]
• Ryan O'Neal is also spilling about what Redmond O'Neal's last words were to his mother Farrah Fawcett on her death bed, which is maybe a little too intimate. [People]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur is still blogging her "weight-loss journey," although this week, it's "I Fell Off the Diet Wagon." Tons and tons of candy, thanks to her son's first birthday party. [People]
• Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, has been ordered to do 120 hours of community service after admitting to growing 10 cannabis plants at his mother's house. [Daily Mail]
• "Bruce Lee's older sister and younger brother have authorized a Chinese company to make a series of biographical films about the late kung fu icon, saying they want to produce a historically accurate account of their brother's life." [AP]
• Whatshisname says he and Whatshername don't let the kids see them fight. [Mirror]
• Whatshisname fell off a stage, btw. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which indie starlet secretly has a house decorated entirely with Alice in Wonderland paraphernelia?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would daydream about it all the time. I thought about the fact that there were children who didn't have anything, and I felt like I could help. It was something that weighed on me. It was something I did for the world and for my son and then for me." — Mary Louise Parker always knew she would adopt someday. [People]
• "It was fun. It was a new experience for me just to take my clothes off on camera. So to be able to scream, to be hysterical, to act out all that suffering and all those tears… well, it's not something you get to do every day." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on controversial and violent film Antichrist. [Telegraph]
• "I'd like to go on record that he is a gentleman. He has not touched me in a bad place once." — Judd Apatow, on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "It's a coincidence. It's from a book called Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann. Bad book… People think that I changed my name. I could've been an actress, a superhero, or a stripper." — January Jones, on her name and being born in January. Also, click to see her on the cover of Interview! [JustJared via Interview]
• "The double-edged sword of working with family is it can be the most fulfilling experience you've ever had, but the flip side is it can also be the most tortuous and most stressful, because it's your family and the lines can get blurry." — Shaun Cassidy, who, along with brothers Ryan, David and Patrick, is starring in a new ABC Family show, Ruby & The Rockits. [LA Times]
• "Stand-up is good when you're rolling. When it goes down you feel like 'why the hell did I come here?' and the same thing in acting. If it's not clicking you feel like an ass." — Adam Sandler. [Mirror]
• "This project was rife with opportunities for me to fuck it up enormously and, by doing so, prove my own limitations. To botch the whole thing would have been calamitous." — Hugh Dancy, on Adam, the film about a man with Asperger's. [BlackBook]
• "I see a lot myself in him, he is a Cancer, just like I am. I would love to meet him. He makes me smile just when I see him." — Lil' Kim on Nelson Mandela. [Mirror]

Images of suffragettes are juxtaposed with images of "modern" women, yet the language is still sexist — the cigarette flavor is "mild," for women only; the cigarettes are "tailored for the feminine hand." As blogger Lisa of Sociological Images points out, the last commercial insists that the cigarette is "beautiful."

What's interesting is that this idea of the smoking woman as being both "beautiful" and "liberated" has stuck with us, to some extent. In the late '70s, women were being encouraged to smoke pretty. Some recent fashion layouts have featured smoking models, gorgeous in their utter lack of feeling "motherly." In 2007, a direct mail campaign marketed Camel cigarettes as a "designer" "must-have." And when thinking of contemporary iconic women who smoke, three images sprang to mind:

Carrie Bradshaw

Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction

Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct

All beautiful, all "liberated," not the kind of women who ask permission. Do we as viewers see them as sexy and confident? Or as damaging their lungs and hearts?

"You've Got Your Own Cigarette Now, Baby!" [Sociological Images]
Virginia Slims Commercials (1969) [Internet Archive]
Earlier: How To Market Death To Women: Make It Sexy, Make It Pink
Oldies But Goodies

[Paris, June 25. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

• Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
• Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
• A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
• By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
• Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
• What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
• What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
• Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
• A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
• Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
• More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
• After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
• Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
• Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
• David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
• On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
• Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
• Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
• Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
• Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
• Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
• A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
• Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
• Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
• Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
• Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
• Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
• Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
• Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
• A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
• Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
• "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
• "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
• "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
• "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
• "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
• ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
• It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
• "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]

• American Idol runner-up Adam Glambert has been vague about his sexuality, but a source says:

He'll come out, officially, on the cover of the next Rolling Stone. [Page Six]

• For the love of Zeus: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer might be back on. Here is an actual quote from a "source" o the set of The Baster: "[John] wasn't calling her or texting her. But, as she got lonelier and the shoot for her new movie wore on, she started reaching out to him, sometimes very late at night and sometimes after a few too many glasses of wine." Boozy old lonely sad tragic drunk dialing! [MSNBC]
• Jen Aniston's movie is filming near her ex-roommate's restaurant; the roomie is the one who wrote a memoir and depicted Aniston as "weight-obsessed." Unscripted dramz. [Page Six]
• Pierce Brosnan saved Uma Thurman from an out-of-control van on the set of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief! He saw the runaway vehicle "hurtling down a hill" towards Uma and jumped into the drivers' seat and slammed on the brakes. [Daily Express]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Nicole Kidman dyed her hair red and has a "poochy stomach," so clearly she must be pregnant. [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez have been dating for about a week but she is "already following A-Rod around." [Page Six]
• Order in the court! Al Roker got in big trouble yesterday for snapping pictures while on jury duty. [NY Daily News]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman together on Broadway? Can your ovaries stand it? [NY Daily News]
• The ex-wife of Jon Cryer (aka Duckie Dale) has been arrested for felony child neglect. [TMZ]
• Is Demi Moore going to the UK without Ashton Kutcher? Well that would mean a woman acting independently of her husband! Sound the alarm! [Mirror]
• "Carla Bruni: I feel pain when people criticise my husband... and mock my low-heeled shoes." [Daily Mail]
• Will Susan Boyle bail out of Britain's Got Talent? At this point, she could get a record deal without actually finishing the program. "The producers of the show are going to do everything in their power to make sure she is there on May 30," said a source close to the show. "Whatever Susan wants between now and then, she'll have." [MSNBC Scoop]
• This report says that network bosses will not get rid of Susan Boyle, despite the fears that she's not coping well with her new-found fame. [Mirror]
• Before he joined the cast of SNL, Andy Samberg worked as a writer for the MTV Movie Awards. So the fact that he's hosting Sunday's show means he's coming full circle, in a way. He says: "It's going to be action packed. There's going to be some surprises - nothing I can divulge, but it will involve celebrities. It's going to be great. There's going to be some pre-taped stuff, some digital shorts-style stuff, and a lot of fun collaborations." [AP]
• The rules for I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here state that there is to be "no bullying, nonconsensual touching, racist or homophobic language, romantic advances (at least ones 'which are not desired or returned'), assault or sex in camp." Can Heidi and Spencer abide? [Gatecrasher]
• Four words: Bridget Jones The Musical. [NY Post]
• Is Disney being cheap with Miley Cyrus? She's getting "only" $5,000 for a week of work to guest star on The Suite Life On Deck. [TMZ]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin spent Memorial Day apart: She took the kids on a boat ride in North Carolina; he was seen in an upstate New York bar with two women. [People]
• Here's video of the Gossip Girl cast talking about various things; Blake Lively has been traveled through Asia on her break from the show and is halfway to getting certified for her scuba license. Penn Badgley went with her and grew a beard, saying, "I looked like a homeless person." [E!]
• The Jonas Brothers do not fight, says Nick Jonas. "We get along very well. I think it's just because we have a different kind of respect for one another, being in the band together. We consider each other as equals. There's no picking on the youngest, it's just not that way." Boo. Zzzzz. [Mirror]
• "Her sunglasses gleam. Her skin is scrubbed, her body pneumatic, her vast white teeth dazzling in the sunshine. Meeting Kruger is, in fact, an almost entirely predictable experience. She is pleasant and pretty and punctual […] She looks extraordinary on screen, but disarmingly normal face-to-face. She is not alienatingly gorgeous […] bland, malleable beauty […]" — from a profile on Diane Kruger. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen will have a cameo appearance in the Aussie soap Neighbors. [Independent]
• Cate Blanchett's Sydney Theatre Company is thankful to Tom Stoppard, whose play Rock and Roll sold the largest number of tickets over the last 12 months. [Telegraph]
• So Mayim Bialik is the first celeb on What Not To Wear, but Stacy London and Clinton Kelly had some restrictions: the woman formerly known as Blossom doesn't wear pants or leather. [People]
• Sherri Shepherd will be taking WWE superstar wrestler Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP) to the prom. No, really. [Page Six]
• Dr. Dre appears in a Dr. Pepper ad, and so do eight seconds of his new, long-awaited album, Detox. [LA Times, Reuters]
• Comedian Zach Galifianakis gets a lot of big-screen time in The Hangover, which could make him into a movie star. [WSJ]
• NBC CEO Jeff Zucker says Seinfeld would not make it on TV today, since shows have less time to mature. [CBS News]
• An Australian woman was sentenced to more than two years in prison today for stalking American Idol's Diana DeGarmo over the Internet. [AP]
• Amy Adams will star in Leap, about a very detail-oriented woman who plans to propose to her boyfriend on Leap Day — "and things sort of go off course with the help of a very handsome, roguish Irishman." Matthew Goode is her co-star. [USA Today]
• Break out the jazz flute: Will Ferrell's in talks to do an Anchorman sequel. [NY Daily News]
• Emily Mortimer has purchased a house in Amagansett, Long Island. [Daily Express]
• Chris Martin has lost his voice and Coldplay had to cancel a show in Saratoga Springs, NY. [The Sun]
• Steve Martin's banjo music CD means the actor is on the U.S. pop album chart for the first time since 1981. [Reuters]
• Lucy Gordon, the Spider-Man 3 actress who was found dead in her paris apartment last week, apparently hanged herself, two days before her 29th birthday. She had just finished filming her role as British model-actress Jane Birkin in the biopic of Serge Gainsbourg when she died. [People]
• Phil Spector will be sentenced today. [UPI]
• The Rockabye Baby! CD has hits by Nirvana, Queen, AC/DC, Bob Marley and Pink Floyd — done in lullaby version. With the lights out, it's less dangerous? [The Sun]
• Blind item: "Which former newscaster was so drunk at a recent fete that she could barely remember her own name, never mind what day it was?" [Gatecrasher]
• "There are people who take the quest for youth too far. Madonna – she's from the show-off brigade. She makes my skin crawl. I call her desperate. I know she's got a wonderful willpower and beauty regime but talk about the ‘me' generation wrapped up in one! I think as you get older, you get the face you deserve. I'm hoping that good habits will get me through." — former Dynasty actress Stephanie Beacham. [Daily Express]
• "I tried really hard not to be who I am. I tried super hard. It was a difficult journey for me to come to terms and be whole and happy with who I am." — Kelly McGillis, who says coming out as a lesbian has not been easy, either. [People]
• "It is sad that Linda Hogan continues to attempt to throw her family under the bus to gain publicity. In terms of the ongoing divorce suit, Hulk Hogan and his legal team would gladly take Linda up on her offer to submit to a legally supervised drug test and certainly Terry would do the same. We believe the results would speak for themselves and reveal that Linda's idea of a good time would definitely not be appropriate for Mass or a family restaurant." — An attorney for Hulk Hogan. [Perez]
• "The Tonight Show means everything to me. I'll have good moments and bad, but I'll keep coming at it. At 4 a.m., I do wake up sometimes and go, 'Oh my God, it's The Tonight Show. But nothing funny comes out of reverence. I'll take care of this franchise. The key is to put aside the fear and say, 'Let's just make some people laugh.'" — Conan O'Brien, who plans to host the show "Until I'm 160, because there will be medical advancements. Fallon will take over for me when I retire at 108 to travel with my family. But it won't be Jimmy, it'll be his brain in a jar." [USA Today]
• "As I look around my friends' Tweets I see banality on all sides. I think if people were able to take these 140 characters (allowed in each post) and develop a poetic Western form - a haiku of our own in which all human existence could be compressed into those 140 characters - that would be a satisfying thing, but that's not what I see when I read them." — Hugh Laurie on Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "Tattoos are sexy. I love my name on a woman; it lets me know I'm serious" — Tyrese Gibson to InStyle. [Page Six]
• "I really want to work with Madonna. It doesn't seem a likely pairing, maybe, but I just think that she is so creative and has such vision." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert. [Mirror]

• It had to happen eventually. David Beckham has dipped a toe in the choppy waters of retail, becoming a Celebrity Designer. You can buy his clothes for Adidas Originals starting this fall. [WWD]

• Madonna allegedly got her friend Marc Jacobs to write the INS and say model boy-toy Jesus Luz was a necessity to his label and deserved a US work permit. [Daily Express]
• Jesus Luz also had a rough time backstage at his last runway gig, the Jeffrey Fashion Cares AIDS benefit in New York. Says one backstage source, "None of the other models would talk to Jesus or even look at him. They were gossiping like catty girls about how they couldn't wait for his career to fizzle out." The other male models, see, feel that Luz has been given unfair advantages because of his relationship with Madonna. Which is absolutely true, and absolutely beside the point, since any modeling career is built on lucky breaks that harden into unfair advantages. Normally models understand this better than anyone. [NYDN]
• Brides.com had Project Runway sprite Christian Siriano design fantasy dresses for celebrity brides-to-be Uma Thurman, Amy Adams, Zooey Deschanel, and Rachel Bilson. Surprise: They're all about "drama"! [Brides.com]
• Forever 21 is close to opening its 19,000 square foot flagship in Tokyo. [WWD]
• Ed Hardy is now a wine you can drink. I actually noticed this about a month ago, when I dropped by my favorite bottle store one afternoon and was greeted by the owner straightening a display of $10 bottles festooned with skulls; he said branding maestro Christian Audigier's vodka ranks with Ketel One, but that only the Cabernet Sauvignon is worth trying, among the wines. The rest, he said, breaking down a box covered in giant dripping daggers and tiger heads, are too sweet. I bought a Portuguese red and walked home, thinking troubled thoughts about branding and its increasingly oblique relationship to any given product's essential qualities. [LA Times]
• Which, if you think about it, is also the operating principle behind: Rebecca Taylor Cupcakes. [FWD]
• Troubled department store Barneys has announced an exclusive lower-priced menswear line by Paul Smith. Suits, basics, and shirts will cost 20-30% less than the same items from the Paul Smith collection. Smith must be a busy man; this collection is on top of a sheaf of brands that includes Paul Smith London, Paul Smith Jeans, PS Paul Smith, Paul Smith Blue, Paul Smith Black. There are just so many ways to sell monkey t-shirts. [WWD]
• Woman buys $700 Louis Vuitton Speedy size 30. Woman receives Louis Vuitton Speedy size 25. Woman returns the wrong sized bag. Louis Vuitton refuses the return, claiming it found a single human hair inside. Woman processes credit-card chargeback. And people wonder why the "luxury" industry is in trouble. [Consumerist]
• Peter Som has had one of the roughest times in fashion as of late. After being fired from Bill Blass, the talented designer he launched his own line, only to have his financial backers beat a hasty retreat as the retail climate turned frosty last fall. Still, Marymount College gave him their designer of the year award and invited him to speak at their annual graduate fashion show. I hope the award came with some money attached, so the man can get back to making beautiful women's clothes. [WWD]
• The creative director of Sonia Rykiel has left the company, after fewer than 18 months in charge. Gabrielle Greiss, who worked as Sonia Rykiel's chief assistant for three years before taking over the creative direction of the brand, will be replaced by a design team overseen by company president Nathalie Rykiel. [British Vogue]
• Zac Posen recreated his fall runway show at a Houston Saks Fifth Avenue for charity. And for "market research." [WWD]
• Banana Republic hired an Italian-trained menswear creative director away from Brooks Brothers last year, and now he's making the chain's offerings more like traditional tailoring. Only with places to put your wired accessories. [Esquire]