[Near the set of "Ugly Betty," Astoria, Queens, August 27. Image via Splash.]

[Las Vegas, August 21. Image via X17.]

[New York, July 31. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, July 22. Image via Flynet]

[New York, July 21. Image via INFDaily]

• OMG twins! Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline were born to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt one minute apart on Saturday evening. Apparently Brad was in the delivery room as doctors performed a C-section on Angie: Knox weighed in at slightly over 5 pounds, and Vivienne weighed 5 pounds. Now comes the speculation over the how much photographs of the bébés are worth: The couple has maybe sold the rights to a U.S. publication — maybe People — and the proceeds will go to charity. The number being thrown around is $11 million. [AP]
• Darryn Lyons, owner of Big Pictures, a celebrity photo agency, claims that pix of the twins are worth between $15 and $20 million. The only other photos that "would possibly come that close is Britney Spears giving birth to an alien," he says. [AP]
• Quentin Tarantino is flying to France to meet with Brad Pitt — but about a movie, not about the twins. [Page Six]
• Josh Brolin, Jeffrey Wright and other members of the crew from Oliver Stone's movie W were arrested in a bar fight early Saturday morning in Shreveport, LA. Maybe someone made a Karl Rove joke? [AP]

• Uh-oh. Did Mamma Mia actress Amanda Seyfried dis the gays by not walking the red carpet at Outfest? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus filmed scenes for her upcoming Hannah Montana movie in Malibu's Paradise Cove and everybody went cuckoo. Screaming fans, paparazzi and the sherriff's department all converged in a perfect storm of chaos. A police helicopter buzzed overhead and, says one beachgoer, "I thought it was going to land right on the paparazzi." [Yahoo News]
• Why? Why are there pictures of Miley in the shower???? [Egotastic]
• Amy Winehouse's dad collapsed due to "stress." What do you think he's upset about? [The Sun]
• Oh, look, Amy snorting something in a DJ booth. [TMZ]
• And here Amy's dad says he fears Amy will die. Sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Amy will stop performing in September to take a break from singing and focus on her writing. Also, Amy's been "visiting" her dead grandmother in her dreams, and Nan's not happy that Amy's not living up to her potential. [Telegraph]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Pictured relaxing on a luxury yacht off of Italy's Amalfi coast. Not pictured: Balthazar's wife and four kids. [Mirror]
• Nicole Kidman had lunch at a restaurant in Nashville on Friday in a post-baby outing and "looked amazing." Yawn. [People]
• Kate Hudson has beaten out Sienna Miller and Anne Hathaway for a role in Nine, the movie based on the Broadway musical, starring Daniel Day-Lewis. (Can Kate keep her hands off of her co-star?) [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez doesn't tip coat check ladies when he checks his murse. [Page Six]
• Ian McKellen's performance in King Lear is coming to PBS. But will he be nude on TV as he is in one scene on stage? [AP]
• Jennifer Lopez's nanny has walked off the job. Or did she run? Apparently it's a 16-hour a day, seven days a week gig. And this is the second nanny to leave, so Jen and Marc are looking for number 3. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has left his wife for an 18-year-old Russian woman. "He met her in a dodgy escort bar at four in the morning when he was boozed out of his mind," his publicist (??) says. Jeez. No sympathy for the devil here. [UPI]
• Jarrod Beinerman, a 34-year-old reputed drug dealer from Brooklyn, has admitted that he stole a $13,000 Marc Jacobs handbag from the hotel room of Kirsten Duns last August. He could get 4 years in prison. It's not clear if Kiki got her purse back. [UPI]
• Heidi Fleiss is facing felony drug use and possession charges from that February traffic stop. She's charged with unlawful use of methamphetamine and possession of the painkiller hydrocodone without a prescription. And something about her mug shot is just plain creepy. [AP]
• Anthony Kiedis and girlfriend Heather Christie: Broken up! They were together for more than 3 years and have a son, Everly Bear. "Anthony is a great dad and I will love him forever for giving me the gift of life," Heather says. "I really hope he finds what he's looking for." Oh, dear. [UPI]
• Congrats to Tabboo of the Black Eyed Peas, who got married in Pasadena over the weekend. will.i.am, Apl de ap and Fergie attended; if you have an unusual or oddly spelled name, you might have been there, too. [UPI]
• This video of Vivica A. Fox calling Jessica Simpson the "baddest blonde bitch on the planet" while holding a flaxen-haired child is very perplexing. [TMZ]
• Jessica, Vivica and Tony Romo hung out at the Key Club together the other night. [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin and Robert Downey Jr had dinner together in the Hamptons… Madonna was nowhere to be found. [Full Disclosure]
• Maybe Madonna was at the Kabbalah center? She has given the group over $5 million — and no longer supports some other charities she once funded. [NY Post]
• The E! True Hollywood Story of Heath Ledger aired over the weekend without the dirty secrets usually revealed on that show. The stuff about Heath's father Kim fighting with his brothers was avoided. [News.com.au]
• Is Katherine Heigl going to get kicked off of Grey's Anatomy? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Milo Ventimiglia planning to propose to Hayden Panettiere? [The Sun]
• Hayden cut her hair, btw. [E!]
• Christopher Gorham, aka Henry on Ugly Betty, has left the show. He'll star on CBS drama Harper's Island. His character's name? Henry. [Yahoo News]
• The Mariah Carey remix contest: A marketing gimmick that could sound hot. [Reuters]
• Jimi Hendrix's brother Leon is trying to use the rock star's image to market a brand of vodka. Sister Janie thinks that's offensive; cue a family scuffle. [UPI]
• Shocker: Meet Dave bombed at the box office. [E!]
• Dear Brooke Hogan: Why must you dress like you're a Frederick's Of Hollywood spokesmodel? [The.Life Files]
• Marianne Faithfull is taking six months off for "mental and physical exhaustion." Be well! [Telegraph]
• "If I got a nomination, I'd make everyone in my life start calling me "Emmy." All of us in this room work extremely hard. The audience sees the end result: the show. But no one sees the process involved in getting those accolades, that recognition. It's beyond stardom. And it doesn't come often in an actress's lifetime." — Tichina Arnold of Everybody Hates Chris, in a discussion with 7 of TV's top actresses that's worth reading. Kyra Sedgwick, Minnie Driver, Jenna Fischer Calista Flockhart, Felicity Huffman and Brooke Shields also weigh in. [Yahoo News]
• "I'm not a bad person. When people say all these negative things about me, I ignore them. Let them be negative - but do that away from me. It hurts but I know there is much more good in the world. I'm blessed to be able to do charitable work and good things but no one focuses on that because I don't throw it in people's faces. That's why they focus on the negatives." — Naomi Campbell. [Mirror]

[New York, July 7. Image via INFDaily.]

• OMG an Ugly Betty musical? That would be pretty awesome. Especially if they keep Vanessa Williams, Michael Urie and Mark Indelicato as little Justin. And Becki Newton. And America Ferrera. Everyone, really. Sigh. [LA Times via ONTD]
• One of R. Kelly's former personal assistants took the witness stand to say she believes the singer is, in fact, on the sex tape in question. She testified that at first she wasn't sure, but is "110 percent" certain after viewing it again. [Yahoo News]
• Patrick Swayze speaks! The actor, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, says: "I am continuing treatment at Stanford and the great news is I continue to respond well." [People]
• Hugh Hefner wants Robert Downey Jr. to play him in a bio-pic. The thing is, RDJ is sexy. Hef's appeal? Less than zero. [UPI]
• American Idol David Cook is dating American Idol alum Kimberly Caldwell. The singing contest is also a dating game! [People]

• Liv Tyler and son Milo are on the cover of Cookie magazine. Liv says Milo doesn't understand her job and tells people, "My mommy works at night." [ONTD]
• Rob Lowe's case against his former chef has been dismissed. The nanny thing is still in play. [ET]
• Holy crap: Rose McGowan has a black cast because she was running to meet her trainer and hit the doorway with her foot. She waited until after the workout to go to the hospital where indeed she found that the foot was broken. Ouch. [ET]
• Alex Haines, one of Amy Winehouse's supposed good influences, was caught smoking crack. Whoops! [Mirror]
• Actress Jena Malone (Saved, Donnie Darko) played a show in someone's living room with an instrument she created out of a steamer trunk and calls The Shoe. Says a witness: "The music is brilliant, but she's crazy." [The WOW Report]
• Cate Blanchett is backing photographer Bill Henson, who has stirred up controversy for photographing naked girls as young as 13. [News.com.au]
• Now that he and Kate Hudson have broken up, is Owen Wilson hooking up with chicks who looks just like her? [MSNBC]
• "He was incredibly intense in his performance but incredibly mellow and laid back." — Christian Bale on Heath Ledger as the Joker in Dark Knight. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Sienna Miller loves boyfriend Rhys Ifans and Edge Of Love co-star Keira Knightley. "It was so amazing to find a girlfriend in this business. In Hollywood they don't know what to make of us because we both drink and smoke and eat." Sienna also has body issues: "I'm so not perfect. My top half is looking pretty good at the moment because, for the first time in my life, I'm exercising, but you should see my bum. It wobbles when I walk. Seriously, I have a lardy arse. I have days when I wake up, look in the mirror and go, 'yuk.'" Um, we saw you naked in Alfie and nothing wobbled. Nothing. [Telegraph]
• The death of Sydney Pollock has thrown some of his projects into limbo. [Reuters]
• Martin Sheen says tough love helped him help Charlie get off of drugs. "You are dealing with a life-and-death situation," he says. "And the critical part of the equation is: are you willing to risk your child's wrath? They are not going to like you. Don't even think about them loving you. They're going to call you the most vicious, obscene names." [Reuters]
• Dylan McDermott played a lawyer on The Practice is also playing attorney in real life: He is representing himself in his divorce proceedings. Objection! [Page Six]
• Renee Zellweger: Seen eating alone in the Hamptons. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which actress whose name has been dragged through the weeds more than once should know who is selling her secrets to the celebrity magazines? Residents of her Village building are buzzing that one of their doormen has been dropping dimes on her, even picking up tips for the paparazzi on where she'll be from her employees." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which A-list couple agreed to let a paparazzo shoot their kids, but only after the lensman agreed to give the family half of the six-figure paycheck? Later the duo got greedy and demanded two-thirds of the loot, telling the pap: 'We just got new furniture and need to pay it off.' [Rush & Molloy]
• Eva Longoria Parker was at a Wendy's in Corpus Christi, Texas on Tuesday, serving milkshakes at the drive-thru. No, seriously. [E!]
• Jules Asner (former model and E! correspondent, wife of Steven Soderbergh) has written a "fun" new mystery book set in Hollywood. Whacked namedrops celebs like Drew Barrymore and Angelina Jolie. [Rush & Molloy]
• Caroline Rhea (Sabrina, the Teenage Witch) and longtime boyfriend Costaki Economopoulos are expecting their first child. What ever happened to Salem? [People]
• Internet sensation Cindy Margolis has split with her hubby of nine years. [E!]
• Singer Shirley Bassey is in the hospital after an emergency stomach operation. Get well! We'll listen to "History Repeating" on repeat today. [Mirror]
• Rocker Richie Sambora wants to give David Beckham guitar lessons. Actually, it'd be cooler if Posh rocked out. [The Sun]
• Michelle Ryan (Bionic Woman), Hugh Laurie (House), Joely Richardson (Nip/Tuck), Anna Friel (Pushing Daisies) and Eddie Izzard (The Riches) were all named for being Brits with the worst American accents on TV. [BBC News]

• [Mariah Carey] is very happy. I've spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon. I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon." — Andre Leon Talley. Talley also says the wedding happened so quickly he "didn't have the time to offer her any style tips!" Underminer. [People]
  
• Britney Spears' progress impressed the court yesterday. She will now get three days of supervised visitation a week; within a month she should get overnight visits. Stay the course, girl! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay Lohan has another job! She'll star in Labor Pains, a comedy about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired. Yay for her; boo for another damn knocked up movie. Is that all women are good for? [Page Six]

• Liv Tyler didn't wear her wedding ring to the Costume Institute Gala. Add this to the sad stuff in the last Midweek Madness about getting married too young and hubby Royston Langdon being a leech on her assets, and you gotta wonder... [Rush & Molloy]
• Scarlett Johansson, however, did have a ring on her finger: The rock Ryan Reynolds gave her. [Rush & Molloy]
• Denise Richards knew her marriage to Charlie Sheen wasn't going to work when he accused Richards of poisoning their daughter with a vaccination. Yeah, I don't know. [Page Six]
• Nicky Hilton cut the buffet line at Diddy's party. "Everyone behind her rolled their eyes," says a source. [Rush & Molloy]
• Robin Williams has pledged to keep his divorce civil. Good for him! Boring for us. [People]
• Ryan Seacrest may be replacing Larry King??? Sources say he will take over Larry King Live at the end of the year. "He's the classic generalist," King says. "The only thing I don't know, and I've gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he's going to be very good." Haha, Iraq. Raise your hand if you think Seacrest knows where it is. [MSNBC]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was submitted by Showtime as "Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series" for her role on Weeds. She could win an Emmy! [MSNBC]
• Pete Doherty left prison with a certificate proclaiming him drug-free. (He may have made the certificate himself.) He told reporters: "I made a few friends in there and the food was all right. I can't wait to have a rum and coke. I've missed the little things like girls and cats." [Mirror]
• Terri Irwin, widow of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, has settled a lawsuit with creditors who claimed the zoo owed them $2.3 million. [Yahoo News]
• If you thought the Gwyneth Paltrow Vogue cover was PhotoShopped, wait till you see the GQ bobblehead cover. [PsD]
• Ugly Betty is moving to New York! I've always hated the fake-ass "Manhattan" streets they use, which are so clearly a Hollywood lot. Now New Yorkers will have Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda sightings! [LA Times]
• So, you know the rumor that Mr. Big dies in the Sex And The City movie? Director Michael Patrick King says: "Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches. It's a summer movie. Why would I want to kill anyone?" [CNN]
• The new Coldplay album will be a rainbow! "Each song is our attempt to do a different colour," says Chris Martin. "It doesn't matter whether the record is good or bad. It matters that it's colourful. The songs are supposed to be flavours, things we haven't tasted before." Um, good to know. [The Sun]
• Rosie O'Donnell responded to the interview Barbara Walters gave on Oprah, saying, "I love her." [People]
• Harry Potter author JK Rowling has won her battle to ban the publication of a long-lens photograph of her son in a privacy case. One of the judges explained: "If a child of parents who are not in the public eye could reasonably expect not to have photographs of him published in the media, so too should the child of a famous parent." [Reuters]

• Lindsay Lohan will appear on SIX EPISODES of Ugly Betty, including the season finale. LL will play an old classmate of Betty's who is down on her luck. Naomi Campbell, Christian Siriano, Victoria Beckham and now Lindsay? It's official: Ugly Betty is the new Love Boat. [TMZ]
  
• Oooh, Lindsay's mugshot is being used in a drunk driving ad. [Reuters]
  
• Courtney Love was in the hospital over the weekend; homegirl has strep throat! Stay away. (Not that you needed a warning.) [Mirror]
  
• Thirty guests attended Jamie Lynn Spears's baby shower in Kentwood, LA on Saturday and big sis Britney was one of them. The ladies sat in a circle and opened gifts and nothing scandalous happened, yawn. [People]
  
• Britney hadn't been in her hometown since early 2007. Bet she misses some Southern cooking. [People]
  
• Miley Cyrus appeared at the Disney Channel Games concert Saturday night and thanked fans, saying: "Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." Then she took her top off. Kidding! [People]

• Boo! Amy Winehouse has backed out of recording the theme for the new James Bond flick because she's not ready to work. Also: Nothing rhymes with Quantum of Solace. [Variety]
• But! Amy will duet with Pete Doherty at a gig at Royal Albert Hall. Which sounds um, healthy? [Mirror]
• The nanny who is accusing Rob Lowe of sexual harassment also babysits for Shanna Moakler, whom you may know from the MTV show Meet The Barkers, as she is Travis Barker's ex-wife. [People]
• Oscar nominee Judy Davis is suing a Sydney newspaper over an article that implies she is a child-hating selfish hypocrite. The thing is, she doesn't want floodlights on a soccer field near her waterfront home. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Dina Lohan to Jill Zarin of The Real Housewives of New York: "I don't watch TV. Especially reality shows." Haha bet you will when yours starts airing! [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian: Seen going for a laser cellulite treatment... With camera crews in tow, of course! A butt that famous needs lots of attention and tender loving care. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly minted TV star is a pushover who already looks ready for rehab? At an L.A. party, the actor was mocked into doing a bunch of shots, despite protesting numerous times that he had to drive that night." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lily Allen spent £300 at a nail salon last week but neglected to tip her technician, tsk tsk! [Mirror]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs was honored with a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood on Friday; his mom, kids and baby mama Kim Porter were all in attendance — and dressed to match. [Concrete Loop]
• Avril Lavigne has laryngitis and has canceled or postponed most of her tour. Get a refund, people! [People]
• Dinner with Erykah Badu is up for auction! The proceeds go to the African American Museum in Dallas. [UPI]
• Gary Dourdan is "embarrassed" about his arrest situation. But the luggage in his car with all the drugs wasn't his and the reason he pulled over and cops found him sleeping in his car was because he didn't want to drive while drunk. So there's that. [People]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes gave the Beckhams a wine tasting trip to Napa Valley for their birthday; Seal and Heidi Klum and Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman also came along. Hot couples wandering through the grapevines? Sounds like the opening scene of a very classy porn film. [Mirror]
• A woman is scheduled to testify at R. Kelly's upcoming child pornography trial, and will reveal that she had a threesome with R. and the allegedly underage girl in the infamous video. Wait, wouldn't that be a crime, too? Oh, the woman was also underage when she had the threesome. Great. And by great I mean awful. [TMZ]
• A Sting charity concert was meant to raise money for the rain forests, but less than half of the show's profits actually went to the cause. "What are they doing with the money?" the Better Business Bureau asked. Good question. [UPI]
• Orlando Bloom: Seen out drinking sake with a buddy instead of attending a fashion show where his girlfriend Miranda Kerr was in the front row. [News.com.au]
• Elle Macpherson is moving from London to her homeland of Australia. [News.com.au]
• Country star Gretchen Wilson, 34, passed her GED exam in April and will don a cap and gown and finally graduate from high school on May 15. Better late than ever! [AP]
• "I came to grips with my bum. Before, I always tied a shirt around my waist when I went for a run. It was ridiculous. I finally told myself, 'I'm not doing this anymore — I have nothing to hide.' I've got some curves, I've got a bubble butt, but I don't mind, because it's what powers me forward when I run." — Elisabeth Hasselebeck. [Page Six]
• "Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old. At a certain point you have 2 respect that I'm one of the last artist that still cares about the fans having the best time of there lives!" —Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• Iron Man made $100 million? This country confuses me. [E!]

• Who is Tory Burch's elusive 23-year old stepdaughter Pookie? On Mondays, Pookie interns for Bruce Weber, and the rest of the week she works as the assistant to the president of Carolina Herrera, and she was (allegedly) responsible for the magical pairing of New York's leading faux-WASP ice princess with Princess Coldstare, but alas, we have scoured the Google and cannot find a picture of her. So this will have to do. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• M.I.A has designed her own eponymous clothing line, which is really brightly colored so that, "if you lose it or someone steals it, you can see it from miles away and you can be like, 'Oy! Give me my shirt back!'" Oy is right! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Tinsley Mortimer, you see, is not a bad designer of handbags, it's just that she made the mistake of trying to sell them in Japan. "Japanese girls have no use for clutches because they just go to the clubs right after work. They are so different from New York. Stylewise, colorwise, stylewise. It's very youth-oriented. I'm designing for women between the ages of 20 and 40... But in Japan, after 25, it's like, basically, you're dead." [NYMag]

• "Now that I've been modeling some, I can actually stand in high heels—at least for a night." Oh, Hagyness. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Meanwhile, poor Erin Wasson broke her foot running in stilettos while shooting the ad campaign for Justin Timberlake's clothing line, William Rast. Doctors say her bones were fragile due to the amount of time she has spent in her life in heels. Ouch. [NYMag]
• Are you ready for Tuesday night's Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala? [Is that a trick question? -Moe] The theme is superheroes because "the superhero is the overarching metaphor for fashion, because both share this obsession with the body, identity and transformation." [WWD, sub req'd]
• No actually, explains Diane Von Furstenberg, superheroes are just super-trendy right now. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Poor Nicole Fahri was mugged at knifepoint outside her home! [Mirror UK]
• "My wife and I had a great time just sitting and going through things and working on what we liked the best...I would love to see her have a fragrance, and us to have one together — a unisex fragrance. That would be wonderful. She's a lot more expensive than I am." Tim McGraw on his new eponymous fragrance and his oft-PhotoShopped wife, Faith Hill. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Virtual Christian Siriano prom dresses? We're confused. Explain this to us, please. [Gaia]
• Oscar de la Renta shot his Fall/WInter 2008 ad campaign at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in San Diego. Which is, um, really random and has nothing to do with polio? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Is former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane doing a line for Diesel? Eh, probs. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Naomi Watts is the new face of Thierry Mugler's Angel fragrance. We are so happy for her. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Martin Margiela is trying to go mainstream. Have you never heard of him? Well, that's cause he's so not mainstream. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Chuck Close, Jeff Koons, Marilyn Minter, Kiki Smith, Cai Guo-Qiang, Barbara Kruger, Ashley Bickerton, Kenny Scharf, Glenn Ligon, Rirkrit Tiravanija, Kerry James Marshall, Hanna Liden and Sarah Sze are all collaborating with the Gap on a series of t-shirts. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Elie Tahari is collaborating with artist Kenny Scharf, too. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Alice Temperely: Showing in London come September for the first time in six seasons. Buh-bye, New York. [Vogue UK]
• Colin McDowell, fashion editor of The Sunday Times of London, is leaving the paper to become creative editor-at-large of Net-a-Porter and spearhead its original editorial content. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Revlon: In debt. But less so now than before. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Elizabeth Arden: Profits are down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Same goes for Bebe. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Steve Madden! Hmmm, I wonder what it all means? [Crain's]

[Becki Newton, Naomi Campbell and Michael Urie on the set of "Ugly Betty," Los Angeles, April 30. Images via Splash.]

• It's official: Nina Garcia is officially a has-been. The recently-fired Elle fashion director is now partnering with Bayer and Yaz to judge a contest in which people submit designs for a new little case to hold birth control pills. I don't know about you, but I like the purple faux-suede "wallet" that my Yasmin comes in just the way it is. [Fashionista]
  
• OMG sneak peek of Nina and Christian Siriano's performance on this week's Ugly Betty. [Sassybella]
  
• Radiohead: Fighting sweatshops. [Yahoo]
  
• Fergie is so P.C.: "I really love people who wear fashions of their own culture; they really touch me and inspire me. I'd like to call myself cultured and not just because I travel a lot and see various hotel rooms. I love driving around, seeing what people on the street are wearing, I would even ask my driver to take me to a cool, young part of town for inspiration. If I went to Africa I would come back with tons of different things, because I truly wouldn't find those things anywhere else." [Chic Report]

• Victoria's Secret is getting a taste of its own medicine: The retailer is being sued by Juicy Couture, which claims that the lingerie chain stole designs and marketing ideas. [WWD, sub req'd]
• A tentative agreement appears to have been reached between Bloomingdale's and the retail employees union. [WWD, sub req'd]
• It's hard to be Zoe Kravitz: "I commute on the Metro North from SUNY Purchase through Grand Central, so that takes most of my time. But I still get to wear Chanel tonight, which is always an upside." [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Versace vacation home in Italy has been sold to a Russian gajillionaire. [WWD, 1st item]
• Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz is designing a denim line for Acne Jeans. He promises it will offer silhouettes other than ubiquitous 'skinny jean.' Does that mean women over a size 10 can wear them? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Crotchity folks are claiming that the Ralph Lauren Ricky bag bears an uncanny resemblance to the Hermes Birkin bag. [Fashion Week Daily]
• At last: Service journalism you can actually use. Here's how to fix a broken nail. [BellaSugar]
• Wanna invest in Cavalli? Quick! Act now! [Reuters]
• Lord & Taylor is thinking about opening a store outside of the U.S, preferably in Canada or Mexico. Way to live dangerously, L&T. [NYT]
• How to dress like Madonna on the cheap. (Yes, go ahead and insert joke here.) [USA Today]
• Guys have body image issues; feel insecure shopping at Casual Male store. [WSJ]
• Since the economy sucks, outlets might be the only way for luxury retailers to make money. [WSJ]
• Bruce Willis' girlfriend Emma Harding: Now the face of La Senza lingerie. Glad things are working out for the girl based on her hard work and merit alone. [Daily Mail]

• Donatella Versace loves Hillary Clinton but thinks she should dress more like Donatella Versace if she wants to nab the presidency. [Vogue UK]
  
• But forget politics — where are we, Washington D.C.? — Donatella would much rather meet Martha Stewart. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• This week on Ugly Betty, recently fired ELLE fashion director Nina Garcia will appearing alongside Project Runway winner Christian Siriano. But in the season finale, ELLE's Nina-ousters Robbie Myers and Joe Zee will be appearing on the show, in a storyline featuring a softball game. Needless to say, this would seem to indicate a rapproachment on the level with Nixon meeting Mao, except when you remember that the common goal is not being on TV. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• How the fuck did Heidi Montag's clothing line outsell Victoria Beckham's at Kitson's? [TMZ]

• Bummer: Frances Bean Cobain is not going to be the next face of Chanel. [Vogue UK]
• Meta: ubermodel Liya Kebide is set to play supermodel Waris Durie in the upcoming bipic beased on Durie's autobiography. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Best headline ever: "Louis Vuitton Sues Darfur Fundraiser." [TorrentFreak]
• More from the wonderful Simon Doonan: "Basically I don't know anybody that remembers just the hallmark moments where you are riding a Victorian bicycle around trying to catch butterflies. There may be people who remember that but I think the medical emergencies and the crazy outfits always trump that stuff. Hence, the emphasis [in his writing] on things like flying dentures, prostitutes, medical emergencies and freak accidents." [Vogue UK]
• What's it like to be Madonna's makeup artist? Says Gina Brooke, "Usually on certain jobs you walk in and go, "OK, this is my idea." She's like, "No, this is my idea, and then you guys give me what you've got." [BellaSugar]
• Designer Cynthia Rowley's advice to graduates of Marymount University's fashion design and merchandising students, "If I can do it, you can do it." Gee, that's helpful. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Designer Ralph Rucci: Honorary Jezebel? "I think we're in a state of mediocrity. Magazines are totally unrelatable to what you look like...To show a garment that's difficult to wear, that just has a concept to it, is not fashion." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Mazel tov, probably, to Giorgio Armani who is rumored to be receiving France's Legion of Honor medal next month. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Solar Bag! So you can, um, recharge your cell phone using your handbag. [WWD, 1st item]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Now shilling man make-up. [NYMag]
• Avon profits are on the rise. This surely has something to do with the price of oil but we're too tired to come up with a silly theory. [Reuters]

• Gisele appears on the cover of the April Vogue with...Lebron James. This is may seem like an historic event on par with, say, a black president, but that would belie how far we've come as a nation, revealed by the dead-first comment reacting to the news on our brother blog Deadspin: "That cover would have been much more fantastic if he had been dressed a la Andre french vogue. Oh Anna, Anna, Anna." Our take: Lebron probably exercises more influence over footwear and apparel sales than Anna Wintour and Gisele and Karl Lagerfeld combined. If Vogue really wanted to think outside the (heh) box, they'd make over Lebron's mom. [Deadspin]
  
• Christian Siriano update: found backers for his clothing line, had a fit meeting with Victoria Beckham yesterday, taping Leno tonight, and is slated for an Ugly Betty cameo. Surely nothing like this could end in anticlimax and obscurity? [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Karl Lagerfeld on the just-opened Chanel Mobile Art pavillion: "It's a building, but also an object at the same time. It's like a sculpture you can walk in." [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Reese Witherspoon is the face of the new U by Ungaro fragrance, being licensed by Avon. Do you care? You so care, don't you. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Whitney is such a follower! Ms. Port, of The Hills fame, is starting her own clothing line, Eve & A, which will show party and cocktail wear. Her daddy is producing it, natch. Who's her daddy? You know, some rich guy. Why burden yourself with the data? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Liz Claiborne is still tanking despite the best efforts (and we can only imagine laserlike focus!) of Tim Gunn. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Pacific Sunwear is also suffering. [WSJ]
• Designer Alice Temperley is preg! [Vogue UK]
• Fashion illustrator (and husband of designer Isabel) Ruben Toledo on how he started his career: "All I knew is that I wanted to paint and draw and do art and be with Isabel—she is my leading inspiration and muse. And I knew that fashion was absurd." But hey, so's the universe, right? [Fashion Week Daily]
• I wanna Paul Smith ping-pong table. [Chic Report]
• And a 10,000-square foot billboard of Djimon Hounsou in his skivvies, oh yes. [Chic Report]
• Model May Anderson is the latest not-designer to play at design: She's started a denim line called Chicks with Guns. [FabSugar]
• How to rip hair off your body using common kitchen ingredients! [BellaSugar]
• Seeing a woman say "May my new curls make her feel choked with jealousy" and "Make him dump her tonight and come home with me" does not make me want to buy hair products. [Sassybella]
• Indian designer Prashant Verma based his entire fall collection on James Dean movies. [Yahoo]
• Yeah, we're skeptical that a pair of bike shorts has the power to ensure faster muscle recovery. [Business Week]

[Hollywood, March 10. Image via Splash.]

• Marianne Faithfull on that giant Chanel jacket sculpture thingy parked outside their couture show: "phallic." How long before someone brings Hillary Clinton's gender into this, ya think? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• J.Crew's new, hipper, and less-expensive line, Madewell, has just tapped someone from the land of magazines for the brand new position of Director of Brand Marketing. Gigi Guerra was formally an editor-at-large at Lucky, and a senior editor at Jane before that. So it turns out that writing for women's magazines does train you for something, and that something is selling pretty shit to women. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Madonna's stylist, "B,' on Madonna's next style incarnation: "Madonna's look is going to be more edgy, more fresh — with no more disco." [WWD, 4th item]

• Poor Julianne Moore! Seems she had nothing to discuss with her fellow attendees of the Boucheron 150th anniversary dinner on Monday night, "When I asked if anyone knew who won the Packers-Giants game, you could have heard a pin drop." [WWD, 2nd item]
• L'Oreal has agreed to buy Yves Saint Laurent Beaute for $1.68 billion. [WWD]
• Viktor & Rolf: Now making $109 faux eyelashes for the Shu Uemura brand. [WWD, 1st item]
• People are buying fewer luxury goods. Here's a theory as to why! [FT]
• Taking a page from the Brit handbook — who isn't these days, really! — Jimmy Choo CEO Tamara Mellon is suing her mom. [Reuters]
• Vera Wang's newest fragrance launches in April. It is called Vera Wang Flower Princess. Not to be confused, of course, with her past fragrance, Vera Wang Princess. [BellaSugar]
• We never knew that we had to worry about putting our tongues through detox. [BellaSugar]
• Rebecca Romijn is the new face of Bebe, but frankly we can't stop thinking of her as a tranny ever since she joined the cast of Ugly Betty as a man-turned-babe. [Sassybella]
• Not at the final Valentino couture show yesterday? Watch a video of it here. [Sassybella]

[S]cholars may conclude instead that this was the year in which designers finally succumbed to the baser desires of an overheated celebrity culture, in which the only thing that matters is fame and the only means to succeed is by screaming, "Look at me!" At least, that's what they might think after reviewing some of the year's worst fashion moments, in which actions seem so obviously calculated to provoke.

As Wilson asks, what do we remember about Valentino from the previous year? His spectacular 40th anniversary retrospective? No of course not. We remember that he repeatedly asserted that he wasn't going to retire and then, well, announced just that. What do we remember about Marc Jacobs? His rather provocative Spring 2008 collection which perverted notions of femininity and decorum? No: We remember that his Spring 2008 show started a gajillion hours late and that lots of editors got pissed and then Marc got pissier and dyed his hair blue. (And furthermore, fashion itself took a back seat to big ol' nasty hair this year: Nothing calls attention better than pairing ratty cut-offs with a giant beehive, after all. Or, um, just shaving your head.) This was, as Wilson put it, "The Year That Yelled 'Notice Me'." Which raises some interesting questions about fashion itself.


What is it that is off-putting about fashion reflecting a "Look at me!" attitude when, in fact, the very essence of the art is to control and alter the way in which people, well, look at things? What does it mean to be "disappointed" in the fashion industry for shifting its focus away from the clothes and towards the people wearing the clothes? Is this not the very same concept that created the unfortunate sensation that is reality television? Substance means nothing, branding means everything. And the most powerful brands of our time are nothing more than the names of people who have, at best, parlayed their day jobs into celebrity (read: Wilson's dismay over seeing Vera Wang make a cameo appearance on Ugly Betty) and, at worst, have parlayed a lack of a day job into celebrity (read: The Hills, which even Marc Jacobs found important enough to pay a visit to.) We live in the age of "Notice Me." We're just wondering what took fashion so long to catch up with the times.

The Year That Yelled 'Notice Me' [NY Times]

Movies

• Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There: Cate plays one of four Bob Dylans in this avant garde semi-biopic. She's mid-60s Bob — after he went electric but before he became born again. She is playing a dude, and a dude who wasn't always good to women (see Baez, Joan), but since there's no "douche/genius" category, we'll have to go with...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Ruby Dee, American Gangster: Ruby plays gangster Frank Lucas's long suffering mother in this story of a black gangster who corners the Harlem heroin trade in the 70s. She lives off Frank's drug largess despite knowing his cash is ill-gotten. Despite one scene at the end where she slaps her son across the face...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Catherine Keener, Into the Wild: Didn't see it but cribbed this from the NYT
  review: "carefree and careworn" surrogate parental figure to wilderness wanderer hero, Chris. She sounds independent and kooky! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone: Ryan plays an alcoholic mother whose child is kidnapped. Hm, going to have to go with...Verdict: Victim
  
• Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton: Emotionally distant powerhouse lawyer orders the death of the title character when she realizes that he might ruin her reputation. She's sort of a doormat when it comes to the whims of the evil corporation Swinton is working for, but I think she's essentially... Verdict: Ok!

Television

• Ellen Burstyn, Mitch Albom's For One More Day: Dead mom/ghost helps her troubled son figure his life out. The wikipedia description says the Burstyn character saved the family with her love. Ew. Sounds like she was kind of...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Debra Messing, The Starter Wife: Her Hollywood hotshot husband leaves her for a Britney (pre K-Fed) doppleganger. At first she falls apart, but then through the support of her friends she falls for a hot homeless dude. Since she only realizes that her life is vapid and overly botoxed when she's dumped, I say...Verdict: Victim
  
• Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: Paquin plays a 19th century schoolteacher who tries to improve life for Indians on a reservation. Sounds like a tough broad. Verdict: Ok!
  
• Queen Latifah, Life Support: Queen plays a mother who overcomes a crack-addiction to become a positive role model and activist. Probably a little schlocky, but basically...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Vanessa Redgrave, The Fever: Redgrave is a woman gets involved in politics with no previous contact with world events. Down with societal apathy! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Gena Rowlands, What if God Were the Sun?: Quick-witted terminally ill patient helps change another woman's outlook on life. Terminally ill? Ugh. Verdict: Victim
  
• Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty: HBIC at fictional Mode Magazine, Vanessa plays a conniving and immaculately coiffed baddie. Even though she torments adorable Betty, she's pretty much...Verdict: Ok!

  *Caveat: we haven't seen many of these movies/shows, so if our snap judgments are incorrect, holler and let us know!

  Nominations Announced For The 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards [SAG Awards]
  Earlier: The Golden Globe Nominees: No Hookers, But Lots Of Victims

• Todd Oldham has been named creative director at Old Navy. Says ON prez Dawn Robertson:"Todd was an interesting choice because he is so relevant. He is really modern." Which is interesting, you see, because the Gap usually goes the extra mile to be irrelevant. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Cell phones are the new handbags, so if your Prada phone, your Dolce & Gabbana phone, and your iPhone aren't cutting it for you, never fear! Armani is getting into the mix too. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Chanel president Veronique Morali has resigned, having only held her position at the French fashion house since March. Meaning the turnover rates for heading up Chanel are about on par with the turnover rates for fashion magazine assistants. Only with, like, three zeroes added to the salary. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane told France's Le Monde newspaper he agreed with us about how fashion weeks are completely absurd and retarded because we have the internet now, duh. "[Seasonal fashion shows] don't relate to anything anymore." [WWD, 2nd item]

• Vera Wang: Set to play herself (but bitchier) on Ugly Betty! [WWD, 4th item]
• Ellen Tracy founder Herb Gallen has died at age 92 of natural causes. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Burberry: Now offering its already-expensive shit at even more ridiculous prices, courtesy of a new luxury handbag capsule collection. Oh and if you feel like coughing up the dough for one of these, take heed: Buying one is invitation only. Barf. [Vogue UK]
• On the fate of his company (will he sell it or won't he?), designer Roberto Cavalli says, "I'm not a great businessman unfortunately." But at least he knows his way with a snake print and neon-hued ruffle? [Vogue UK]
• Cathy Horyn may have finally stopped talking about Marc Jacobs, but Simon Doonan has just begun: "I'm sure I would've loved Marc Jacobs but I had to go home. By 10:40, I was out the door. Not in a huff. I didn't leave in a huff. I just thought, I need to go home now and walk the dog and take my girdle off." [The Fashion Informer]
• If by chance you find yourself in Milan with the hope of stalking your favorite (and by favorite we mean least favorite) fashion types, here's a good list of places to start. [GlamChic]
• Further evidence that high fashion in fact steals from its knockoffs: Burberry has taken to manufacturing, and incorporating into its ad campaigns Burberry plaid buttons that originally emerged as a clever means off renegade logo-theft. [EV Said via Coutorture]