Jezebel: tweenage wasteland

Writer: Little Girls Are A Threat To HuManity

Megan Carpentier — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:20:00 EDT

Men are simple creatures, and yet it is they who by necessity run the world and so we must stop distracting them with our dirty pillows (when we eventually get them) and bare midriffs and — horrors! — back tattoos lest we taunt them into such a state of perpetual arousal that they utterly fuck up the world (though some might argue it's too late). Or so says Kathleen Parker, whose new book Save the Males is out to save the poor, battered men of the world by forcing us libidinous sluts of all ages from taunting them with the possibility of sex. We'd rip her so-called logic to shreds some more, but were saved the trouble by our new blog crush, Jeff Fecke, who responded:

The fact is that when I see a woman who is attractive (or dressed attractively, which is not necessarily the same thing), I know that she isn't being attractive for my enjoyment. She is not a thing for me to use. She's a human being, doing her own thing.

Feminism is damn sexy on a man.

Save Boys From Tween Tramps! [Salon]
Begone Wanton Trollops! [Shakesville]

There's Hope For Today's Teens… Sorta

Dodai — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:00:00 EDT

The N, as a TV network, is Nickelodeon's borderline slutty big sister. It's targeted at teens and runs shows like Degrassi and Instant Star, (a highly addictive show about a teenage girl who wins an American Idol-type contest and has major chemistry with her record producer, a twenty-something former boy-band member, not that I ever watched, cough cough.) The network conducted a survey — polling women between the ages of 13 and 24 — assessing the "state of the millennial girl." The good news? 60% said that they were "happy." Only 6% had a famous athlete, musician, singer, actor, or author as their role model; 25% said their moms were their role models. But! 34% either said they "look up to themselves" or don't have a role model at all. And 62% believe it’s easier for males to become CEO, while 45% think it's easier for males to get promoted at work. The worst part? They're probably right! What's really weird is this:

72% said there has never been a better time to be female. Maybe they haven't heard about the backlash? In any case, a separate study conducted by Dr. Eleanor Mackey of the Children's National Medical Center and her colleague Dr. Annette La Greca from the University of Miami showed that girls define their "normal" body weight by who they hang out with. "Jocks" are less concerned with their weight; "alternatives" are more likely to be appearance-oriented and actively trying to lose weight; burnouts just think thinness is something other people obsess about. Whether this is good or bad is kind of unclear.

Survey Says? Girls Today Are Happy, Anxious, Love Mom, And, Uh, Look Up To “Themselves” [Smart Television Alliance]
There's No Time Like The Present For Today's Girls, According To The N's New Research Study 'The Story of Girl' [PR Newswire]
Does This Make Me Look Fat? [EurekAlert]

Kit Kittredge: American Girl Or Capitalist Pawn? Is There A Difference?

Jessica — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:30:00 EDT

It's hard out there for a living, breathing American girl. It's a morass of mixed messages, A.O. Scott points out in a Times think piece about Kit Kittredge, the Abigail Breslin-helmed American Girl doll-based movie coming out this week. "Who are you supposed to be, or to avoid becoming? A nerd? A ditz? A flirt? A tomboy?" Scott wonders. "What kind of role models are those make-believe princesses, those Bratz and Barbies, to say nothing of the real-life Britneys, Lindsays and Mileys? Mean Girls, Gossip Girls, Girls Gone Wild, Girl Power, You go, girl! What's a girl to do?" And considering the pervasive skankiness of Bratz and their ilk, the American Girls franchise seems like a bastion of true childhood in an increasingly sexualized marketplace. But, as Scott painstakingly notes, it's still part of the marketplace. Jeannette Catsoulis, reviewing Kit for the IHT perfectly summarizes the intrinsic hypocrisy in this Depression-era film. "When you consider that a Kit doll, complete with book and accessories, will currently run you $105, the movie's insistence on the nobility of the indigent might be a tad more difficult to stomach."

And speaking of stomachs, Breslin has the notable lack of one in Kit. I received an alarmed missive from my mother (email subject: "A Beef") about this very issue last week. "Having just looked at Little Miss Sunshine, I was appalled today to see a picture of Abigail Breslin. I was happy to see she has a new movie (Kit Kittredge - from the American Girls franchise). BUT they have made her lose weight and dye her hair. She looks now like one of those girls she was mocking in Sunshine. It is scary. She is scary. " What my momma didn't know is that Abigail was wearing a fat suit to play delightfully rotund Olive in Sunshine. Her salient point still remains: even though Kit Kittredge has a better message than the Bratz movie, it's still selling a certain commodified ideal.

But, at the end of the day, having your kid look up to a self-reliant character who teaches a bit of history is far from the worst thing in the world. Of his daughter's American Girl doll, A.O. Scott writes, "She doesn't say much, and even though her expression is always fixed in a pleasant smile, she seems to change according to the moods and interests of her playmates. She is an athlete, a musician, a clothes horse, a bookworm, a pet owner, a loner and a confidant. A typical American girl, as far as I can tell."

A Girl's Life [NYT]
'Kit Kittredge': Wholesome Life Lessons For Budding Reporter [IHT]

Is The Obesity Epidemic Messing With Kids' Minds?

Dodai — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:30:00 EDT

Which is worse: Feeling fat? Or being fat? A survey by the Germany Health Interview and Examination Survey for Children and Adolescents (KiGGS) found that among 7,000 teenagers, more than half of the girls (and 36% of the boys) thought that they were "too fat," even though only about 18% of the kids were actually overweight. And the teens — especially the girls — who thought that they were "too fat" reported lower self-esteem and "quality of life." Reporting on this issue in the New York Times, Tara Parker-Pope writes: "At a time when much of the Western world is focusing on obesity problems, even teens who are at a healthy weight may develop a distorted body image." Even more troubling is how some kids act when they think they're overweight: The Times of London has a story about a boy named Zach, who is on a careful diet, works out for 45 minutes after school every day and does push-ups, sit-ups and crunches before bed every night. Zach is 10 years old. And still fits into the same clothes he wore when he was 8 and 9. Writes Siobhan Mulholland: "Not by any stretch of any fattist imagination could he be described as fat."

Clearly, the effort being made to fight the obesity epidemic is resulting in what Parker-Pope calls "collateral" damage. From commercials to music videos and magazines, the pressure to be thin is all around us, and it would seem few of us are immune. And interestingly enough, when this topic came up via e-mail at the Jezebel virtual HQ, everyone had something to say. "The more weight I lose the fatter i feel," one editor sighed. One editor wrote: "I’ve often thought that when I think I’m thin I’m actually thinner – like it’s some psychological thing as in, if I think I’m thin my metabolism actually works harder. Which would explain why I’m so damn fat now after feeling so damn fat for months on end." Someone else added: "When I beat myself up for being gross and fat years ago I was actually 30 pounds thinner; now that I'm heavier I'm more forgiving of myself and less depressed." Someone else explained: "Getting super thin can fuck with your head. I'm naturally between 125-130. I was totally happy about that, until I got really depressed and got down to 117 without really trying. I was there for like, 9 months, and I realized, holy shit I can be skinny. Of course, when I was no longer depressed, I gained the ten pounds back. That's when I
started thinking I was fat."

It's no big secret that mental and physical health are linked. And as someone who has been thin and sad, fat and sad and fat and happy (never thin and happy) I often wonder about which is more important: Mental health or physical health? In a perfect world you wouldn't have to choose, of course. You'd reach optimal levels in both arenas and live happily ever after in a cottage under a rainbow. But if things keep going in this direction — where kids start dieting in middle school — aren't we going to have a mental health epidemic to go with the obesity one? (And, back to the earlier question: Which is worse? Feeling fat? Or being fat?)

'Feeling Fat' Is Worse Than Being It, German Study Finds [Science Daily]
Many Normal-Weight Teens Feel Fat [NY Times]
The danger of children who insist that they are fat [Times Of London]

Dismayed By Miley's Displays Of Sexuality, Disney Assembly Line Creates Two Replacements

Jessica — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:30:00 EDT

We already suspected that the Disney factory manufactures tween starlets like plastic widgets, but we had no idea that production has gone into super overdrive since the Miley Cyrus/ Vanity Fair "nude" debacle. The Wall Street Journal reports that "Talent development has taken on new urgency since April, when Vanity Fair magazine published photos of the 15-year-old Ms. Cyrus with only a bedsheet covering her torso." Hannah Montana ratings have declined, the Journal points out, and so Disney is attempting to replace Miley with 15-year-old actress/singer Demi Lovato by using a "multimedia blitz that is aggressive even by Disney standards." So Lovato is being touted as the "New Miley," but just last month, another pretty, Texas-born Hispanic girl was declared heiress to the Cyrus juggernaut. People called Disney's Wizards of Waverly Place star Selena Gomez the next Miley, and it turns out that Lovato and Gomez (pictured here — Lovato is on the left) are "best friends" who have their own YouTube channel wherein they discuss things like their matching "True Love Waits" purity rings.

Selena and Demi met as child actors on the show Barney and Friends. When they were 11, they both tried out for a role in a Lizzie McGuire spin off, according to the WSJ, but Demi's mom, a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, says, "Selena is an adorable looking Hispanic girl, and looks more Hispanic than Demi, and that's what they were looking for at the time." This was right after Dora the Explorer became a huge, runaway success, so it makes sense that Disney would want to tap the Hispanic market that their main competitor, Nickelodeon, had already made huge strides in that sector.

Anyway, back to our little promise keepers: Miley, for her part, is distinctly displeased that she's been pushed aside for the new blood. On her YouTube channel, Miley put up a video with her friend Mandy Jiroux parodying Selena and Demi's Youtube channel (side note: doesn't Miley sound kind of drunk in this clip? Drunk on Jesus, naturally.) The Youtube viewers of this parody have articulated the underlying message to Disney's Post-Vanity Fair, post-green bra Miley overthrow. A disgruntled fan writes, "You are just jealous on Demi and Selena because they are not Sluts... " You see, now that Miley's virginal imagine is tainted, Disney needs to put some squeaky clean teens in the spotlight, and perhaps that's why there are two of them; if nude photos surface of Selena, (à la Vanessa Hudgens), there's already a back-up being primed for stardom.

Disney Revs Up Tween Star Machine [WSJ]
Demi Lovato And Selena Gomez Q&A!!!! [Official Demi Lovato Youtube Channel]
The Miley And Mandy Show!!!! Is My Makeup To Dark? [Miley Cyrus Official Youtube Channel]

Earlier: Underage Starlets Sprout From Disney Factory Like Whack-A-Moles

Vidiots

Dodai — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:45:00 EDT

Um, this video "game," "Carrie The Caregiver," is supposed to be fun or something. Targeted at kids 6 and up, the point is to "feed, clean and soothe adorable babies." The new version, "Camp Funshine," involves helping campers with birdhouses and S'mores and crap like that. Maybe it's entertaining for little girls, but how come there's no "Lulu The Lawyer" or "Cece The CEO" game, huh? (Click to see mind-numbingly dull embedded video) [Packaging Girlhood]

Does This Look Like "Intellectual" Property To You?

Moe — Tue, 27 May 2008 14:00:00 EDT

I'm supposed to be in court in Riverside County, California right now. See, a few years ago I wrote this thing about how the Bratz dolls, the first dolls in the history of slutty-looking dolls to unseat Barbie for slutty looking doll hegemony (and the career ender of numerous highly remunerated Mattel executives), were actually masterminded inside the Mattel design center. Apparently they were scrapped because upper management didn't want to do anything to "cannibalize" their Barbie brand so the idea went nowhere and a doll designer took it to this guy who owned a scrappy little toy company that mostly specialized in competing for third and fourth tier licensing rights — like say, the right to manufacture keychains featuring crude electronic games bedecked in Pokemon logos — and that guy, with the help of a few more designers and a few thousand Shenzhen factory workers, turned the sketches into a multibillion dollar property. Well, Mattel is a litigious company — they were once known to sue Barbie fan clubs for trademark infringement — and when they read my story they apparently launched some sort of investigation and eventually sued the Bratz guys. Last summer I got deposed.

It was no small feat for the Mattel lawyers to track me down, probably because I had so cleverly in the interim changed my common-law name to "Moe," but after numerous false starts they finally convinced me and seven or eight lawyers to show up in a conference room someplace downtown for a few hours of grilling about a story about which I couldn't have ethically provided any information even if I remembered it, which I of course did not. As we left, my lawyer, the in-house counsel of Dow Jones, marveled at the billable hours that had been assembled for our presence alone. It was enough to fund a reality show-worthy bar mitzvah. And they'd been at this case for years!

Today the case is supposed to go to trial and I am apparently, according to an email from the Gawker office manager, to be there, although I am not, because I don't leave my house to buy toilet paper if there is perfectly decent newspaper lying around, and the thing is going down in California. But it's fascinating to read about the internal memos describing the increasingly heated battles between these two dolls: "The House Is On Fire!" one is titled; fixing the problem will require "grenades."

"Complacency will kill us," the company concluded.

But when you live in a country in which a few sketches depicting dolls with stoned eyes and platform shoes and oversized heads vaguely conjuring anorexia is multibillion dollar "intellectual property" whose protection demands numerous eight figure retainers funding whole divisions of preposterously well-educated legal minds and even holds a few multimillion dollar holiday bonuses in the balance, it's hard to feel anything other than "complacency."

Brawl Over Doll Is Heading To Trial

If A Girl Gets A Spa Treatment And No One Films It, Did It Really Happen?

Jessica — Mon, 19 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Good Morning America is so fresh out of ideas that they're watching month-old episodes of the Today Show for inspiration. Diane Sawyer and Co. are just picking up the tween spa meme and running it into the ground. Some six year olds are getting their hair chemically straightened, some 12-year-old girls are getting bikini waxes, preteen boys remain cruel, as always. Clip of dismayed reporters and smug mommies above.

Earlier: Some Six Year Olds May Have More Makeup Than Their Moms
How Many 8 Year-Olds Have To Get Bikini Waxes Before We All Agree The Terrorists Have Won?

Photoshop Of Horrors

Jessica — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:45:00 EDT

An eagle-eyed reader pointed us to Kel's Photo Creations, where someone (presumably named "Kel") will take your pageant baby's face and turn it into something that looks like, in the words of said tipster, "airbrushed street art of Bratz dolls." One such example is to the left, but you can find some more Lisa Frank-ish creations here. We thought that perhaps this was the invention of some performance artists, but if you peruse the rest of the site, it seems that Kel is not fucking around. You can get the full Photoshop treatment for $35. A bargain! [Kel's Photo Creations]

Teenage Wasteland

Dodai — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:20:00 EDT

Marche Taylor, like many teens around this time of the year, showed up at her prom in Houston, TX dressed to impress. The party was being held in a ballroom at the Sugar Land Marriott, but Taylor only got as far as the lobby. A school official told her that her dress did not meet the dress code; Taylor argued and then tried to get her money back. Someone called the cops. Taylor was escorted from the establishment in handcuffs. Really? Was that necessary? Don't forget about that Human Rights Watch report that says black people are disproportionately incarcerated. On the one hand, girls can be mentally damaged from sexualization in advertising; on the other hand, should a prom dress land a young woman in handcuffs? [KHOU]

Beyoncé's Mini-Me Ad: Damaging To Girls' Mental Health?

Dodai — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:00:00 EDT

Did you see the new ad for Beyoncé's Deréon Girls Collection? Little girls, for lack of a better phrase, "tarted up" in adult-ish cropped and embellished jean jackets, purses, lip gloss and blush. Oh, yeah, and that one kid is wearing heels. They appear to be adult sized heels that she is just trying on, as kids do, but... Sigh. According to a report (issued last year) by the American Psychological Association, sexualized images of girls and young women in advertising, merchandising, and media is harmful to girls' self-image and healthy development. You're thinking: Duh. And yet. It exists. And persists. Eileen L. Zurbriggen, PhD, chair of the APA Task Force says, "The consequences of the sexualization of girls in media today are very real... We have ample evidence to conclude that sexualization has negative effects in a variety of domains, including cognitive functioning, physical and mental health, and healthy sexual development." Eh, people are just making a big deal out of a photo. Right? Consider this:

The following is from a summary of the APA's study:

Sexualization has a range of negative consequences for young women, the task force finds. For instance, "studies show that when you begin to see yourself as a sex object, it leaves you with fewer cognitive resources to do things like math," Zurbriggen says. Sexualization also can lead to body shame, depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem, the report notes.

Ads like Beyoncé's may be harming little girls' ability to do math. Pair this with the statement (from the same study) that says, "Research links sexualization with three of the most common mental health problems diagnosed in girls and women—eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression or depressed mood" and you have a recipe for disaster. Some people think it's "cute" when babies have Fendi shoes, when little girls wear shirts that state, "I Left My brain In My Locker" or underwear that blares, "Buy It Now! Tell Dad Later!" or crocheted string bikinis. Some people don't think it's a big deal that 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, icon to children nationwide, appeared positively post-coital on the cover of Vanity Fair. Would these same people allow their children to drink coffee laced with snake venom? Why is something so damaging to a child's health not taken more seriously?

Beyoncé Tarting Up Young Girls Too [Gawker]

15-Year Old On Miley Cyrus: "I Don't Want To Be That"

Jennifer — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:20:00 EDT

So what do actual 15-year old girls think of the whole Miley Cyrus-Annie Leibovitz Vanity Fair shoot? The New York Times decided to ask some (specifically students at Manhattan's Beacon School), as featured in an article in today's Metro section. "My friend loves her," said one girl, "Well, she love-hates her. [And] she called her a slut [when she saw the Vanity Fair photos]." She went on. "Is this who we're supposed to be growing up to be? I don't want to be that. It's sending a message that girls are supposed to be whores. It's like you only get so many years to be a child, and then once you're an adult, you're an adult for, like, 100 years. That's it. Welcome to adulthood. There's no turning back."

Maybe this is what bothers people the most about the Miley Cyrus shoot: That it's less about exploitation, and more about robbery. Why take a girl's youth away from her earlier than is necessary? (And is it ever really "necessary"?) Also, what's the difference between Vanity Fair and the execs at Disney who trot kids like Cyrus around in order to fill their corporate coffers? I can't really find one right now.

The Miley Cyrus Message, in the Eyes of Schoolgirls [NYT]

Cosmo Girl Has The Spiciest -- And Smartest -- Advice When It Comes To Teen Sex

Jessica — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Down Under, two of the major teen magazines, rivals Dolly and Girlfriend, are banding together to fight government suggestions that the magazines come with "audience age recommendations," because of the sexually-explicit nature of their question-and answer-sections. According to the Daily Telegraph, "Tasmanian Senator Stephen Parry said he was concerned readers as young as 11 were writing in for answers to questions on anal and oral sex." (Because if they don't read the magazine, their questions will magically disappear, right?) Dolly editor Gemma Crisp told a government inquiry, "We see it as a service. It's our responsibility to provide the correct information rather than them (readers) saying to their 15-year-old friend, 'my boyfriend wants me to do this, how do I deal with it?'" We decided to see what kind of advice the American teen magazines are giving their readership. A look at sex coverage on the websites of Teen Vogue, Cosmo Girl, Elle Girl, YM and Seventeen, after the jump.

Teen Vogue: Teen Vogue's website doesn't seem to have any sex coverage at all. Its drop-down menu on the homepage has five sections: Style, Industry Insider, Beauty, Team Vogue and Connect. And although there are no articles about sex or question-and-answer style features, there is a fair amount of sex talk on the largely unregulated Message Boards. Sample thread starter: "I haven't had sex in over two weeks. its starting to wear on me but my boyfriend is out of town and i don't want to cheat on him because i've already done that too much. I guess i just have to stay strong but its hard. TIPS?!?!?!"
Cosmo Girl!: Ah, Cosmo Girl. The website's "Sex" section is part of a drop down menu titled "Guys" (also available under the heading "Life Advice") where the magazine has a panel of reasonable experts answering questions like "Can you get pregnant if a guy fingers you with sperm on his hand?" They don't talk down to the girls, and seem to be giving straight talk. Alongside the prudent advice is a lot of boy craziness including recurring features like "Hook A Hottie", "Guy Videos", "Eye Candy", "Guide To Guys" — the list goes on.
Elle Girl: The sex coverage on Elle Girl is also pretty minimal. The brunt of it is articles like How to Deal ...With a Guy Who's Just After a Hookup and quizzes such as Are you a bad girlfriend?. None of these are particularly informative or sex-positive.
Seventeen: The bottom line of Seventeen's sex stories is always, "don't get knocked up". There's an entire section devoted to "preventing pregnancy." While the idea of sex for pleasure's sake is definitely not the backbone of Seventeen's health section, they do an admirable job in answering the tough questions, like the age-old query, "Can I Get Pregnant From Having Sex in Water?"
YM : Back in the early-mid-90s when I was a burgeoning teen, YM was the repository for the raciest sex stories. The magazine was never huge on serious content or real advice, though. It's a bit tamer than I remember — where are all the blow job questions? — but the "Say Anything" section still provides the same level of teen mortification it always did.

Magazine Readers Want Sex [Daily Telegraph]

A group of middle school girls in Southern ...

Jessica — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 10:45:00 EDT

A group of middle school girls in Southern Indiana was allegedly "inspired" by the Florida teenagers who brutally beat a frenemy and then attempted to post the violence on YouTube. These Indiana tweens — pupils at Clarksville Middle School and aged 12-14 — lured a classmate to a parking lot, filmed themselves abusing her and then posted the video on PhotoBucket.com (it has subsequently been removed). According to the AP, "The video begins with one girl arguing with the victim and escalates into a fight during which the 12-year-old is repeatedly hit in the head as other girls watch and laugh." Charges have yet to be filed and police are still interviewing the perpetrators. The Clarksville superintendent says he does not plan to discipline these bullies because the violence did not occur on school grounds. Again, we ask: How many kids have to die before bullying is taken seriously? [AP via MSNBC]

Bikini Waxes, Highlights & 'Tramp Stamps': That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Jennifer — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:40:00 EDT

First we hear about little girls getting pedicures, then bikini waxes, and now, at the tender age of 6, it's chemically treated hair. The New York Times reports that today's moms are paying for their daughters to get highlights. (Full disclosure: I was a hair model in high school, and for a good four years my hair got dyed every color of the rainbow. But I made money doing it and I was 15. The girls in the Times are much, much younger.) Says Tammy Curris of Toadly Kool Me salon in Fayetteville, NC, "We've had girls as young as 6 in for highlights, but 9 and 10 is more the norm." Echoes Mark Goodman of Hair Designers of Hilton Head, SC, "Five years ago, the rule of thumb was 15- to 16-year-olds would come in for their first color. Now, that girl is 10."

Is Mr. Goodman horrified by this emerging trend? Hell to the no! "I tell stylists to get more involved in school and community events to reach out to these younger girls. They may not want to think in those terms, but these girls are our future business." Barf.

Ouidad, who owns a Manhattan salon where she is also a stylist, says:

"These girls want flexibility to imitate the styles of their idols, and they need it to look right. Girls as young as 10 come in with little support groups of friends who wait with them hours. And when I turn them into Hannah Montana or whoever they want, they literally jump and cry and scream... I wonder what message we are sending the girls."

No shit! Adds former Miss Virginia Nancy Amanda Redd, "Pregnant women can't get highlights, what makes it safe for little girls? These girls are going from baby to mini-adult. They feel naked without their highlights. I think we need a giant dose of realism here."

As for the mothers? They're basically enablers. Says Jane Ordway of New York, "Originally, we went to the salon because [12-year-old daughter] Olivia wanted me to have my hair colored to cover the gray, which I did. But then it turned out she wanted a highlight herself. She does have a really good fashion sense and some of her friends have done it, and I felt we were in the right place to have it done well so I let her." Wait, what? They were at the salon to begin with because the daughter told the mother to get rid of her grays? Fuck. It's not about the parents any more. This nation's youth cannot be saved. When you can buy a tramp stamp for your toddler, you know the end is nigh.

A Girl's Life, With Highlights [NY Times]
Lower Back Tattoos for Your Toddler [Babble]
Earlier: Why Let A Girl Play When She Can Be Made Over Like JonBenet?
How Many 8-Year-Olds Have To Get Bikini Waxes Before We All Agree The Terrorists Have Won?

'Miss Bimbo' Creators: "Take Care Of Your Bimbo, Nurture Her, Love Her"

Jessica — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Ann Curry and company over at the Today show were just as incredulous about the internet game for burgeoning skanks, Miss Bimbo, as we were. In the clip above from this morning's broadcast, two adorable English moppets named Jasmine and Poppy enjoy Miss Bimbo's "big jugs and facelifts," and the dudes behind the game defend Miss Bimbo with straight faces. The pair of floppy haired founders say things like, "It's a morally positive, fun game..."What about loving your bimbo, taking care of your bimbo, sending her to university?"

Earlier: New Game Encourages Young Girls To Embrace Their Inner "Bimbo"

How Many 8-Year-Olds Have To Get Bikini Waxes Before We All Agree The Terrorists Have Won?

Moe — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:40:00 EDT

In the first thousand words of a story I just read:
1. An eight-year-old receives a bikini wax.
2. A ten-year-old gets microdermabrasion.
3. Numerous children under ten get highlights.
Funny you should ask! This is not dystopian work of satirical science fiction. (Though there is a stylist who finds himself in a sort of Guy Montag type of role when a woman asks him to relax her 12-year-old's "beautiful, wavy hair.") (He now "hawks an all-natural product to moms who want to lighten their five-year-olds' locks; applied daily, it brings out subtle highlights.") No, this is a story in Philadelphia magazine, a place I used to work in a city I used to live, a city that always seemed disarmingly normal and unmaterialistic relative to my current place of business. So reading it was kind of personal for me, especially since I know its writer, Carrie Denny, and I have to say, it was weird reading sentiments of such earnest dismay as "Without the ugly years, when do you learn to accept yourself?" coming from her.

(Carrie is, like, fun and blonde and normal. She grew up in the area she's writing about. She is one of those girls who probably inspires suitors to draw lame "sunshine" analogies to her personality, but the analogies would not be inaccurate. She is really super friendly. I always figured she thought I was weird. Because I am, but you know. Anyway, I point this out only because, like, lately I feel like I am hearing feminist outrage in my life from all the last people you'd expect to hear it. Such as my mom, and my friend Angela. What does it mean? I think it means the apocalypse is really here this time! Wolf! Wolf!!)

Anyway, Carrie's theory is that somewhere girls lost their boy-craziness. It's not a bad one:

When I was in my teenybopper heyday, there were no pop chicks who I aspired to be. There were boys I aspired to marry. The media world surrounding us made us boy-crazy — maybe not a fabulous thing for a 10-year-old, but at least it didn't lead my friends and me to inject botulism into our foreheads before we could legally drink. It was innocent: We giggled, swooned, hung posters of Joey Lawrence and Luke Perry, giggled some more. And our moms were ... uninvolved. They didn't drop us at the playground with instructions to bring home the boy who looked the most like Kirk Cameron. They rolled their eyes, bemusedly shaking their heads as they passed by our rooms: Oh, you silly girls. End of story.

Not anymore. Today's girls aren't looking at posters; they're looking in the mirror. They have a new obsession — a self-obsession — and it's being aided and abetted by their mothers.

Their mothers who need to find something better to do.

Pretty Babies [Philly Mag]

Related: Never Too Young For That First Pedicure [NY Times]

Dear Moms: Your 6-Year Old Daughter's Ass Is Not "Juicy"

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:30:00 EDT

"Nothing needs to be on my child's rear end. It doesn't need to have any words at all," says Suzie DeWitt of Tacoma, a mother to two daughters. You wanna know what else DeWitt doesn't want on her girls' asses? Low-rise pants. "The pants rise on little girl pants are too low to be practical. Kids run, jump and hang on monkey bars. With these fashions, their bottom is hanging out at recess." Wanna know how old DeWitt's daughters are? Six and eight. We've said it before and we'll say it again: slutty dressing is skewing younger and younger, with kids just out of kindergarten wearing everything to platforms to spaghetti straps. Recall how the beauty industry is targeting the younguns also? Same deal applies to fashion: Things that have typically been aimed at teens are just being shrunk, literally, and marketed at the kids that teens are probably baby-sitting.

"It's opening up a whole can of worms for pedophiles and people who want them to look older...Too many parents believe their daughters need to be making some sort of fashion statement at ages 6 or 7," says mom Gina Vardon. "It almost seems to have become a contest between these women to see who can spend the most money on their children."

Dear women: a child is a human being, not an accessory. The death of the It Bag should not be followed by the rise of the It Kid. As adults are dressing younger and younger, are kids forced to look older to compensate? Where have all the grown-ups gone? Besides the problems of 1) dressing a grade-schooler like a whore and 2) using a grade-schooler as a status symbol is the problem, as yet another mother points out, that "not only are the values and bodies of our young girls being exploited by these fashions, but what kind of effect is this having on our boys?" Exactly — if young girls (or rather, their parents) are objectifying themselves through the clothes they purchase and wear, can we blame men for doing the same to them, too?

Earlier: Why Let A Girl Play When She Can Be Made Over Like JonBenet?

Sexy At 7? [Tacoma News Tribune]

Young Adult Novels Plumb New Depths Of Product Placement

Jessica — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:00:00 EST

About a year ago, I was desperate to review Dial L For Loser from the New York Times best-selling tween book series The Clique. I thought the title was hilarious and I wanted to see what sort of written culture the kiddies are consuming these days. Within the first ten pages, there were mentions of Ella Moss, Neiman Marcus, Prada, Range Rovers, and Chantico drinking chocolate (even hot beverages must be branded!). In fact, it broke down to 1.8 brand mentions per page, which is staggering when you consider that each page had about 160 words. The characters consuming these lux brands were supposed to be seventh graders. Well listen up kiddies, the brand-infiltration of books aimed at ten-to-twelve year olds is only going to get exponentially worse. A new series of books by HarperCollins and named for a heroine called Mackenzie Blue is offering brand sponsorship for each new novel before the books are even written.

The author of the books, Tina Wells, is not even a writer by trade; she is, according to the NY Times, "chief executive of Buzz Marketing Group, which advises consumer product companies on how to sell to teenagers and preteenagers." But this is nothing new: Clique series author Lisi Harrison used to be a Senior Director of Development at MTV and is the brains behind such classics as "Room Raiders." (Also, the middle schoolers in the Clique series are apparently grossed out by menstruation, but that's a whole other post. We miss you, Margaret, and your menses loving ways!).

Ms. Wells claims that brand sponsorship will not interfere with Mackenzie Blue's content. "Mackenzie loves Converse...Does Converse want to work with us? I have no clue. But that doesn't negate the fact that Mackenzie loves Converse," Wells told the Times. When reporter Motoko Rich asked her if she would refuse a lucrative contract from Nike even though Mackenzie is a "Converse girl," Wells said, "Maybe another character could become a Nike girl." Don't you see, brands won't be dictating her content at all!

Even worse is Mackenzie Blue publisher Susan Katz. "If you look at Web sites, general media or television, corporate sponsorship or some sort of advertising is totally embedded in the world that tweens live in," Ms. Katz said. "It gives us another opportunity for authenticity." [Cue gagging sounds here. -Ed.] The thing is, tweens may be beginning to resent the bill of goods YA novels are selling. In an Amazon.com customer review* of Elizabeth In Love, part of the Sweet Valley High series but published in the aughts, reader "gt7941a" complains, "Note to author: bring back realism, excitement, romance w/o jumping into bed and LOSE the talk about what brand of makeup & clothing everyone is wearing. It used to be Pascal/John used phony names even for the mall stores & the only recognizable brand were Bruce's Porsche."

The only way to halt this seemingly unstoppable tide of brand worshiping is for kids to quit buying these books, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. Some might argue it's good the kids are reading at all, since Americans are already reading fewer books than they did 10 years ago. Meanwhile, I'm tempted to only buy books published before 1980 for my (future) children. Or you know, cash in on this YA novel branding trend while it's still hot! Hey Reebok, I have a heroine I think you'd just adore!

*This review was spotted by Lizzie Skurnick, our own Fine Lines columnist and YA enthusiast par excellence.

In Books For Young, Two Views on Product Placement [New York Times] More Debate Over The Decline Of Reading [Utne Reader]

Hannah Montana's Best Of Both Worlds Concert: The Worst Of All Fashions

Jennifer — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:00:00 EST

Last night's Hannah Montana: Best of Both Worlds concert in Hollywood featured a proper red carpet... And crappy red carpet fashion. Hannah Montana, in case you've been living under a rock, is the Disney Channel-conceived alter-ego of Miley Cyrus, daughter of Billy Ray "Achy Breaky Heart" Cyrus, and tween girl idol. On the show, Miley plays a girl named Miley (whoa: meta) who is really rock star Hannah Montana, but keeps her performance identity a secret, so as to live a "normal life" as a high school dork. Which is why the theme song declares that Miley/Hannah has the best of both worlds. Unfortunately, everyone in both worlds is poorly dressed! Maybe it's better to look hideous at a ridiculous event, to diffuse the horror of being there? Decide for yourself with the good, the bad, and the ugly, after the jump.

The Good:
We're willing to overlook our terror that 14-year old Miley Cyrus looks about 24 since, she's the best-dressed person here. And her vag is covered. And mentioning it is depressing.

You know what else is depressing? We're starting to think that the Jonas Brothers are sorta cute.

Vanessa Williams' outfit isn't exactly perfect (um, metallic boots), but giant sweater coats are great. And so are shamed former Miss Americas who came back with an even more successful music career and TV stint on Ugly Betty.

The Bad:
Apparently Ashley Edner is a 19-year old tween sorta-star. Perhaps her middling fame can be blamed on her unfortunate leggings/goth girl dress combo?

Someone ought to inform Samantha Harris, host of Dancing with the Stars, that it is best to remove your coat before having your photo taken.

Miley's parents Billy Ray and Trish Cyrus: Scary. Trish's eyes look dead. And Billy Ray is wearing leather gloves on the red carpet. Ay.

Mixing silver and gold jewelry is fine. But a gold dress with silver shoes on High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale? Not right.

The Ugly:
Listen, we love Lisa Rinna for her performance as Lynn Echolls on Veronica Mars. Also, during Fashion Week, she told us that she's had big boobies and small boobies and always wants what she doesn't have. And we thought that was kinda hilarious. But we cannot forgive this terrifying leopard print and wide-legged jeans ensemble.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

Teen Girls Join Britney In Tippling The "Purple Drank"

Jessica — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 09:30:00 EST

Teen usage of cold and cough medicines to get high is a major problem in the U.S., reports the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Any fan of The Basketball Diaries can tell you that barely legals have used over-the-counter meds to get high since the dawn of NyQuil, but a recent study by SAMHSA shows that the number of people age 12-25 who use large doses of cold medicine to create hallucinations is at about 3.1 million. Many adolescents are mixing the cold medicines with other substances — like Britney with her "purple drank" of vodka, NyQuil and Red Bull — but the key ingredient to cause hallucinations in large doses is the cough suppressant DXM.

The prevalence of cough syrup abuse (both over the counter and prescription) is high enough to have spawned a dozen nicknames, including, but not limited to: Sizzurp, Drank, Purple Tonic, Southern Lean, Texas Tea, Memphis Mud, Mrs. Dranklesworth, Tsikuni, Lean, Syrup, P-Flav, Slip, Purple Sprite, PG Tips, and Purp.

In the 12 to 17 age group, according to MSNBC, girls are the biggest abusers of the Purp, but after age 17, the majority of abuse shifts to young men. Let's just hope none of these young girls is addicted to the Sizzurp, because how lame would it be to have to go to rehab for your Robitussin habit?

Millions Of Youths Use Cold Meds To Get High [MSNBC]
Earlier: Britney Still Alive; Has Brunch With Paparazzo

Today's Teens Believe It's Better To Be Sexy Than Clever

dodai — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:20:00 EST

"In a culture that celebrates Paris Hilton, thong underwear and songs like 'My Humps' — where the female singer expounds the sexual magnetism of her breasts and buttocks — there's scant recognition or respect for female modesty or achievement that isn't coupled with sex appeal," writes Carol Platt Liebau, managing editor of the Harvard Law Review and author of a new book, Prude: How The Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls. Liebau argues that "the overwhelming lesson teenagers are now learning from the world around them is that being 'sexy' is the ultimate accolade, trumping intelligence, character and all other accomplishments at every stage of a woman's life." And, while this fact alone is disturbing, Liebau also notes that "girls are being led to believe they're in control when it comes to sexual relationships but they're actually living in a profoundly anti-feminist landscape where girls compete for attention on the basis of how much they are sexually willing to do for the boys."

(Related: as many as 1 in 5 female adolescents have been abused physically or sexually by a dating partner, reports Reuters.)

Of course in many ways, young women have never had it better. Liebau states:

Given the breathtaking opportunities before them and the magnificent advantages they enjoy, it seems Western society has treated young girls with enormous generosity. And in many ways, it has. But not all the changes have been to the good. Today girls are forced to navigate a minefield more challenging, difficult and pressure-filled than ever before when it comes to sex. Somehow, as society has been revelling the ubiquity of sex, the very real psychological, emotional and physical impact on young girls of giving too much, too soon, has been discounted.

From the pole-swinging antics of the Kardashian kids to Slutoween and the tramps in training clothes on the market, doesn't it feel like the sexualization of girls has reached crisis level? And even if the fashion trends are leaning away from low-rise jeans and toward ladylike dresses, what will become of a world in which all the little girls would rather be sex symbols than scientists?

Today's Girls Prefer To Look Sexy Rather Than Be Clever [Guardian]
Girls 'Being Brainwashed To Be Promiscuous' [Telegraph]
Related: Teen Dating Violence Leads To Risky Health Behavior [Reuters]

Earlier: Is "Slutoween" Actually Scarier Than Halloween Ever Was?
Young Girls Today: Tramps In Training?

Being A Fresh-From-Rehab Mean Girl Is Awesome!

Jennifer — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 18:00:00 EST

How did you spend your time in high school? Editing the school paper? Drama club? Smoking behind Waffle House? These days, girls are being encouraged to partake in sex, drugs and lying through a new cell phone game called "Coolest Girl in School," which is all the rage in Australia. How does one become the coolest girl? Just "lie, bitch and flirt your way to the top of the high school ladder." All you have to do is "experiment with drugs, alcohol and smoking, skip school, spread rumours, bully" and have unprotected sex. Fun! Parents and educators are freaking the fuck out, naturally, that a game being marketed specifically at girls that encourages them to, uh, make bad choices. But the game's creator, Holly Martin, says the game is actually good for girls.

Martin feels like girls are being left out of gaming. But is the best way to bring them into this male-dominated field through a program where they learn the beauties of getting high and opening their legs? Eh, says Martin, there's no difference between her game and ones where boys are encouraged to steal cars and shoot people. Furthermore, Martin insists that her game exposes the complications that go along with such choices, for instance, "taking drugs and smoking might work against you because you have to go to rehab or have stinky breath when the captain of the football team comes to speak to you." Dude, that is so true. Well, except Lindsay, Mary-Kate, Nicole and even fucking Betty Ford went to rehab and they're all still super cool and totally famous, right?! Seriously, don't you want a suite at Promises or Cirque Lodge for your next vacation? Rehab seems fun!

Kids 'Play' With Drugs, Sex [Daily Telegraph]

Watching TV Leads To Teen Sex; Teen Sex Leads To Teen Chlamydia

Dodai — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 14:30:00 EST

A new study claims that there's a "recipe" that raises the odds of a teen becoming sexually active early — and the more ingredients (low self-esteem, not feeling close to parents, lots of TV), the more likely a teen is to have sexual relations by the age of 15. Janet Shibley Hyde, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and co-author Myeshia Price conducted a two-year study of 273 children and used anonymous surveys."By 15," they write, "one out of five boys had participated in oral sex and about one in 10 said they'd had intercourse; the numbers were somewhat lower for girls. (Because the teens were mostly middle class and white, they had lower rates of sexual experience than the U.S. average.)"

Each risky factor raised the odds of sexual activity by 44%. Boys with more advanced puberty development started sex early. Teens with low self-esteem may start sex to boost their self-images or gain popularity, Price speculates. Defiant kids with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, those whose parents had little education or those who regularly watched certain types of TV also tried sex sooner.

What's the harm in disaffected, TV-addicted youth screwing each other? Well, kids who start having sex early have more partners than those who wait, and they're much more likely to get pregnant or catch a sexually transmitted disease, says Bill Albert of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Plus, chlamydia cases reported in the USA have just topped the 1 million mark for the first time, with the highest rates among adolescent girls, the CDC reported today. And John Douglas, director of STD prevention at the CDC in Atlanta, thinks that number is low. "We have reason to believe that chlamydia is dramatically underreported," he says.

So what shall we do? Fight at the source? How do we encourage parents to spend more time with teenagers? How do we limit the amount of TV teens watch? How do we manage teenage self-esteem? And how do we keep teenage boys from giving teenage girls chlamydia in record numbers?

Study Pinpoints Factors For Early Sex [USA Today]
Chlamydia Tops 1 Million Cases, With STDs Rising Slightly Overall [USA Today]

Is "Slutoween" Actually Scarier Than Halloween Ever Was?

Moe — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 12:00:38 EDT

Happy Halloween, folks! Know what this means? The PERFECT STORM of Slutty ShallowTween trend stories! Here's a quick guide. You start with the question, "Why did Halloween replace "scary" with "slutty"?" and usually the the follow-up, "Did witch and zombie costumes get replaced by costumes prefixed-'naughty' and/or 'sexy' maybe at the same time BRATZ DOLLS became acceptable?" The next-level story wonders if all this has something to do with the de-juvenilization of Halloween. Just when did self-respecting adults start dressing up like French maids? (And why, if French are supposed to be so classic and subtly chic, do their maids dress like strippers?) " Some commentators blame the gays, and the gays are not having it, and miscellaneous references to Kim Kardashian/Tila Tequila/Pussycat Dolls/burlesque/Hot Topic ensue, and at this point maybe we should return to Bratz — you can even be a Bratz for Halloween! And the big takeaway of it all is: everyone in this country between the ages of six and forty six is basically a slutty thirteen-year-old. And that is the new scary.

Take me. I have never been one of those people who needed a costume to be a slut, or a series of nine open-bar parties to be a drunk, but I've always appreciated Halloween for its generosity of spirit: the Loaves-and-Fishes communalism of bygone era trick-or-treating spreads, for that one fateful night, into the domain of alcohol, drugs, and more alcohol. (Only instead of putting razorblades in the apples, someone just uses them to lace whatever you're snorting with another slightly cheaper drug that probably won't kill you so it's cool.) Anyway, all I'm saying is: all these the "slutty" stories are missing the point. After all, maybe if I had worn a slutty costume I would have spent more time tugging at it self-consciously and less time being an actual drunk slut. In short: Halloween is scarier than it ever was. Also, I think I am still high.

Tween Girls Get Mocked For Wearing Expensive Shit Moms Buy Them Because They Were Mocked

Moe — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:30:37 EDT

Have a kid you can't wait to bedeck in the Spring children's collections by Chloe/Missoni/Marc Jacobs/Dolce & Gabbanna/etc.? Ha ha ha, seriously, stay with me anyway. A story in today's Wall Street Journal interviews middle schoolers who are shunned by their peers for wearing, like, Armani in lieu of Abercrombie. Sixth-grader Aryana McPike, whose mom has purchased her a "closet full" of Juicy and Dolce, describes recently being "instructed" by her classmates that she should wear Air Force 1s and Apple Bottom jeans. Budding populists? Not really according to Becky Gilker, a 13-year-old who says she tries to wear her school's important brands, Hollister and Roxy.

But even the wrong color can bring put-downs, Miss Gilker notes. When she wears pink, she says, "I get the snarky 'Nice clothes!' when people walk by in the halls."

Thoughts: 1. This would be so much better if we were reading about it in Teen Vogue. Hint hint, Amy Astley!

2. Wait, Jesus Christ, Lourdes has her own stylist? Is this because Madonna looks back on all those pictures of everyone dressing the way she did in the Desperately Seeking Susan era and just shakes her head thinking, "Personal style. Now that was a dangerous idea."
3. Does anyone over the age of 20 seriously think school uniforms are a bad idea? Because I sometimes think they should make it a constitutional amendment. But then I think of how creepy and Hitler youth that would look in the history books fifty years later. But then I think, isn't that the idea behind the Abercrombie catalogs anyway?

Fashion Bullies Attack — In Middle School [WSJ]

Totally awesome teen sensation Hannah Montana ...

Jennifer — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 13:45:00 EDT

Totally awesome teen sensation Hannah Montana (aka Miley Cyrus) is causing a national crisis. Tickets for her upcoming concert tour have been snatched up by scalpers and children everywhere are hysterical because they need to see Hannah and they need to see her now. Parents, of course, are at their wits' ends, with some of them are forking up to $5000 for a scalped seat. Yes, that's right $5000. In case you need some help putting that in perspective, that is like about half the the amount Jessica Seinfeld spent thanking / bribing Oprah with 21 pairs of Louboutins. [ABC News]

On the heels of their Onslaught video, Dove ...

Dodai — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:45:00 EDT

On the heels of their Onslaught video, Dove is teaming up with Seventeen magazine for a "Body Peace Project" to help girls appreciate their shape and "stop stressing over the beauty industry's preferred standards." The beauty company and the teen magazine conducted a body-image survey and found that 91% of teen girls feel anxiety about some part of their looks when getting ready each morning. 51% said they knew they should like their bodies better but felt cultural pressure to be thinner. "We're facing a teen crisis in teen body image," says editor-in-chief Ann Shoket. The magazine is encouraging girls to sign a "Body Peace Treaty" with vows like: "Never blame my body for the bad day I'm having," and "what you see isn't always what you get on TV and in ads — it takes a lot of airbrushing, dieting, money and work to look like that." It's a step in the right direction, but don't you wish some other adult magazines would follow suit? [AdAge]

Gossip Girls Say: "If It's True, It's Not Gossip"

Jennifer — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 11:30:00 EDT

Are you loving the new Gossip Girls show on the CW? We are! And last night, we trekked up to a Barnes & Noble on Manhattan's Upper West Side for a reading by Cecily von Ziegesar, the creator of the series of books on which the television show is based. The event was a promotion of the just-released Gossip Girls prequel It Had To Be You — they gave away Gossip Girl lip glosses! — but instead of interviewing the book's author, we decided to try to get inside the minds of the young, female fans in attendance, asking them, "What's the worst piece of gossip you've ever spread?" Their terrifying tales after the jump.

"Oh, I don't know! I don't think I gossip. Okay, I actually do. Ask my sister, she's standing over there. She can tell you. And can you not use my name?" —16-year old female

"I don't spread gossip. Only truthful things. And if it's true it's not gossip then." —Shoshana, 22, sister of aforementioned 16-year old female

"I exaggerated a story once to say that my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with his male cousin and his female cousin while he was in Venezuela in a threesome. I told the whole school. I do think it really happened, though! Oh, and this other time when I was a freshman I had my best friend do my makeup so I looked like I had a black eye and I told everyone my now ex-boyfriend was beating me. The same boyfriend who I said had the threesome. Oh, and this other time I had my best friend tell one of my teachers that I "hadn't been the same since the abortion" so I could get out of a math test." —Kimberly, 16

"I have never spread gossip! Ever! Well except for Dana's abortion but that doesn't count as gossip - it was true." —Anna, 17

"It's not like a malintent [sic] thing. We may gossip, but it's true so it doesn't count and we're not being mean. We just talk about people behind their backs." —Sydney, 15

"Yeah, I only talk about people behind their backs. But I don't make up lies. And I only do it sometimes." —Maxine, 16

"Oh, there was that one time we started that story about gonorrhea though..." —Sarah, 15

When Teens Go To Broadway Shows, Broadway Shows Start To Suck

Jennifer — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 18:30:00 EDT

Move over Noel Coward. And Stephen Sondheim. And Clive James. The most influential Broadway tastemakers today? Tween girls. Yes, the same demographic that drives the success of High School Musical and Hannah Montana is now the directional force in American theatre. With the runaway success of Wicked, which was adopted by adolescent girls as a favorite (despite the fact that it was never marketed to them to begin with), theatre producers are now trying to sell — and re-sell — the oldest, hackneyed, already-seen stories wrapped in some pretty, sparkly (and deceptive) packaging. See: Legally Blonde: The Musical, the number of "American Idol" losers currently having runs on The Great White Way, and the current workshopping of Clueless: The Musical.

The problem with making the art for the audience, especially when the audience still decorates binders with stickers and glitter pens? They don't exactly have money of their own. So unless 13-year olds can convince parents, friends, and entire families to attend, well, they're not exactly gonna sell out the house each night.

Meanwhile, we cringe at the thought of a tween-friendly Sweeny Todd. Zac Efron as the blood-soaked Demon Barber of Fleet Street? God save our musical-loving souls. And yeah, we're totally singing "Send in the Clowns" right now.

Tweens Love Broadway, but Can't Save It Alone [NYT]

Why The Fuck Won't Teen Magazines Put Models On The Cover?

Dodai — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 12:30:00 EDT

Here's a quote that gets under our skin: "I wish we could get a gorgeous model [on the cover] and make someone's career, but I can't risk that." That's courtesy of CosmoGirl! editor-in-chief Susan Schulz, via today's WWD. Here's the problem: The era of celebrities on the cover of magazines has got to end sometime. These things are cyclical, and the way to end one cycle and begin a new one is to have the balls — or the ovaries — it takes to make a change. The readers may be slow to catch on, but eventually they'll see: When there's a model on the cover of a teen magazine, suddenly the focus changes from the superficial Hollywood ideal to a truer, more realistic one.

Using a great model creates a mirror, or an aspirational figure: The great teen magazine covers of the past used models as representatives of the everygirl, smiling happily and jumping for joy — pretty, but somehow normal — so that the reader could project herself into that lifestyle, those clothes, that attitude. A girl should be able to recognize herself in the model. Because a model isn't supposed to be a role model. She's supposed to be a canvas on which an idea is painted. She's supposed to be someone a girl can look at and think, "I could be that girl." Past CosmoGirl! covers include those with questionable qualifications, such as Ashlee Simpson (post nose job!), Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie and Kristin Cavallari.

Obviously publishing a teen magazine is running a business. The bottom line is all about sales. But the "business" also happens to have a hand in shaping young womens' lives. I remember old issues of Seventeen and YM (and Sassy) vividly. Not the covers, mostly. But the invaluable things on the interior pages: Tales of real girls, with lives so different from my own, and yet with common bonds: period stain trauma! Cool eyeshadow! Unattainable crushes! Stupid babysitting jobs! Readers today may pick up a magazine because of the big name celeb on the cover, but surely it's the actual content they keep coming back for: Cosmogirl! has great makeup tips, love advice, fashion ideas, crush quizzes, insider info on choosing a college. Why wait for Vogue or some other adult publication to turn the tide? As the song says, kids are the future. Magazines are one of the tools girls equip themselves with in order to survive in this crazy world. How can Heidi Montag be of any help? Believing your product only has value when packaged in a celebrity wrapper is a tragedy, and actually underestimates the girls whose dollars you gladly take.

Memo Pad [WWD]

Do Teen Magazines Teach Girls To Hate Their Bodies?

Dodai — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 11:00:00 EDT

UK papers Telegraph and Guardian both published findings from a report by Women In Journalism — namely, that websites of magazines for teenage girls are urging the girls to upload photographs of themselves and post ratings of their bodies, much as the "lad mag" sites do. While the teen sites don't exactly approach "Assess My Breasts" territory, they are extremely close: Bliss, a British teen magazine, had a "How Sexy Am I?" feature, which asked girls to rate their own bodies with options like "beautiful" or "ewww." The section, which was recently taken down, had 10 body parts — including tummy, thighs, legs and breasts — about which the teens could choose "happy" or "hate 'em."

The site run by Bliss also has an "Airbrush Me" section which will give your photos "a celebrity makeover" — taking out red eye and zits.

Another site, run by Mizz magazine, asks readers to rate "lush lads" — pictures of shirtless boys. Maybe turnabout is fair play, but the message — that only the surface matters — is what sticks. The report states that in a study of 3,000 young women, more than half of 16- to 25-year-olds said that the media makes them feel that "being pretty and thin" is the most important thing.

Fiona Bawdon, the author of the WIJ report, says, "The message that you get in the editorial sections (of magazines), if a girl was to write in saying her nose was too big, is that you are fine as you are." But the websites do not have that editorial voice of assurance. "Should a teen magazine really be encouraging young girls to think in terms of 'hating' their still developing bodies?" And we're wondering — is there anyone out there who still thinks the next generation is going to turn out okay?

Girls' Websites Criticised For 'Lad Mag' Tactics [Telegraph]
Websites Aimed At Teenage Girls Using Lads' Mag Tactics [Guardian]
Earlier: Feeling Sexually-Objectified? It Could Be Your Own Damn Fault
Sexploits

'Tramps-In-Training' Author Speaks, Dodges Tween Bullets

Dodai — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 11:30:00 EDT

Yesterday, we told you about one mom's struggle with finding appropriate clothing for her 11-year-old daughter, since so much of the fashion in stores seems to be aimed at "tramps-in-training." The Slate piece started a huge discussion on their message boards (and with our own Jezebel commenters!) Later, the writer, Emily Yoffe, went online to take readers' questions. Some highlights, from the transcript: One mother writes:

I have an almost 10 year old who has been eyeing those push-up bras. Somehow the matching bra/undie and panties set will no longer do in her mind. I have caught her in the mirror squeezing her "buds" together commenting that they are growing. We are definitely in scary territory.

Yoffe responds:

Every little girl who is developing is going to have excited/scared/thrilled reactions to what's happening. My objection is when the stores say, "Here's a push-up wonderbra for those breast buds of yours!

A mom in Wisconsin:

What is the right age to let my daughter start wearing thongs? She wants them now and she's 13. Does anyone else have this problem?

Yoffe:

Why would a 13 year old want a thong? Does she want it to be seen in her low-rise jeans? I don't know what the right age for thongs is, but I'd say 13 isn't it.

I wonder what the right age is, too. 15? 16? 18? 21? Should you be able to wear a thong before you can vote or drink legally?

Lastly, there was this:

u r such a deiscarise [ed: disgrace?] to girls maybe some girls like push up bras and want to grow up faster so y dont u get a life

Yoffe:

Another mother who buys this stuff for her daughter.

Uh, actually, we have a feeling that was the daughter.

Dresed Down [Slate]
Earlier: Young Girls Today: Tramps In Training?