The Hollywood Reporter:

Obviously, the six-episode series (which moves to a regular time slot Sept. 16 at 10 p.m.) wants us to feel exhausted after sharing just one hour of Rachel's hectic lifestyle. Might we also add feeling empty? "Rachel Zoe" is pretty much built on nothing, except of course our continuing fascination with being voyeurs into the lives of others, especially those who look vital and exciting. The underlying message is that we should feel we lead lives of quiet desperation while Rachel is pulling her hair out having to make last-minute, earth-shattering fashions decisions.

What's wrong here? Probably nothing if viewers think the fashion world is the center of the universe. But to make celebs out of those who dress celebs gets us into a weird kind of meta world where lives that rely on image-making look crucial. They're crucial to the world of dollars and euros, but not to much else.

The Los Angeles Times:

Still, as Heidi Klum likes to say, "One day you're in, and the next you're out," and while Zoe's boho-retro '60s-'70s vintage chic has made its mark on Celebrityville, she seems to know that she can't afford to stand still. Styles change. And so there is a kind of undercurrent of desperation, at times verging on panic, that runs through the show and gives it what dramatic movement it has.

EDGE New England:

During the first episode, Zoe hires a new assistant to support her gal Friday Taylor, an impatient, unlikable hag who is apparently unable to run a comb through her rat’s nest hair. I’ll give her this - in less than 60 minutes, she instantly became the most unbearable, transparent shrew on television. She’s the kind of presence one simply hates - not loves to hate, just hate. She terrorizes the new assistant, Brad, by flip-flopping on, or simply, withholding proper direction. Terminally angry, she actually appears threatened by Brad and even if it weren’t for Zoe, I’ll stick around just hoping that someone puts this chick in her place.

Common Sense:

Parents need to know that, aside from some language that's occasionally strong enough to get bleeped, the biggest concern here is excessive commercialism. The show is a thinly veiled promotion for star Rachel Zoe's new line of clothing and accessories and basically serves as free advertising. Teens who watch could also end up coveting the glamorous clothing they see on the show, and most of it won't be age-appropriate — or affordable. The onslaught of expensive labels includes marquis brands like Chanel, Valentino, and Versace.

'The Rachel Zoe Project' airs tonight on Bravo at 11 p.m.

You shouldn't be worried about "your woman" murdering you unless you've done something to majorly piss her off, right? So yeah. They're playing into some stereotypes. "Don't let" your woman watch insinuates that she needs permission, etc. Stirring things up! Some wonder if watching this show will turn your average woman into a vigilante. Writes Reed:

Several of the series actresses have dismissed that idea. "I think one of the values of the series is that it speaks not only of the depth of the female psychology, but rather it speaks [of] the human condition, no?" said Cecilia Suárez, the actress who plays Ana "Corrosiva," an acid-wielding anti-heroine who delivers a brutal payback to her control-freak plastic surgeon lover.

In a world where injustices against women (wage discrepancies, rape, objectification and marginalization) go unpunished, surely the series provides a vicarious thrill for viewers. Women aren't going to become man-killing hellcats just from watching this show! Just like watching Dynasty didn't turn rich ladies into hair-pulling brawlers. That said, I suspect this may be my new favorite program. Chances are, an English-language version will arrive in the U.S. next year and be called Stabby. (Chances also are that they'll ruin the concept and dumb it down for American audiences.)

The Get-Even Ways Of 'Mujeres Asesinas' [LA Times]

P.S.
Sometimes the women get revenge on other women, btw:

Here's the blood-soaked trailer:

The New York Times:

There is no good reason in the world to watch “Date My Ex,” and yet there is something vaguely redeeming in its economic chemistry. Since the first season of “The Bachelor” reality dating shows have typically put striving women in the position of angling for the attention of heirs and doctors and graduates of the better business schools. These Ambers and Tiffanys and Tristas might get the keys to the hotel room or, if they’re really lucky, receive their own chance to weed out partners on television, but they weren’t going to be taken to the Stanford reunion, even as the shows persisted in the fairly tale that it could be otherwise.

“The Real Housewives of Orange County” implicitly understood the limits of social mobility, recognizing the difference between status and money. Slade is a lot wealthier than Jo, but they were equals in their lack of pedigree and everything they didn’t know. Like the other couples on the show, they looked as if they might have a fighting chance, if only because they seemed to hail from the village.

Los Angeles Times:

The guys who show up for the first round were apparently purchased directly from the Reality Dude catalog — there's a personal trainer, a real estate agent, a talent agent and a nutrition salesman. The names don't really matter since the guys are there simply to provide the venues, a series of dream "dates" designed to woo the de-luscious Jo. To say it is ridiculous gives ridiculousness a bad rap. Ol' Jo may have a smokin' hot bod and an admirable willingness to part with her thong at a moment's notice, but a conversationalist she's not, and frankly, I think anyone seeing her without all that makeup might be in for a shock. So clearly no one's looking for a relationship, or even romance. These guys are in it to win it, whatever it is. Meanwhile, Slade is having second thoughts about the whole thing and looking pained. Will he undercut the competition to make himself look better? Will he and Jo wind up back together?

Who cares. Though it is mildly interesting to watch the reality monster consume its own tail for a few minutes, I'd frankly rather spend an hour blotting my lip gloss.

And I don't even wear lip gloss.

iVillage:

Not surprisingly, the series contains some problematic — and sexist — messages. While Jo says that she enjoys her new, more independent existence, these claims are offset by her willingness to allow her ex-boyfriend to exercise some control over her romantic life. It also prompts some contestants to objectify Jo as s possession that has already "belonged" to Slade (one contestant says that Slade has "peed on the tree and marked his turf," while another claims that Slade is "auctioning her off"). All of this may make for voyeuristically entertaining television for mature audiences, but it's definitely not for kids.

Boston Herald:

Bravo could do a public service by rushing this show to its inevitable conclusion. Jo will realize that since Slade has marked her, she’s his forever. The two should marry, be spayed and shot into a space shuttle that will orbit the planet for eternity. In the heavens, they’ll be the stars they’ve always dreamed of - and they’ll be far enough away from the rest of us that we can forget about them.

'Date My Ex' premieres tonight on Bravo at 10 p.m..

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
• Actress: Tina Fey; Show: 30 Rock; Role: Head writer/producer of a late night comedy show.
• Actress: Christina Applegate; Show: Samantha Who?; Role: VP of a real estate company who suffers from amnesia
• Actress: Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Show: The New Adventures Of Old Christine; Role: Owner of female gym and single mother
• Actress: America Ferrera; Show: Ugly Betty; Role: Fashion-challenged assistant to an editor at a fashion magazine
• Actress: Mary-Louise Parker; Show: Weeds; Role: Single suburban mother who sells pot to make ends meet

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
• Actress: Sally Field; Show: Brothers & Sisters; Role: Matriarch of troubled family
• Actress: Glenn Close; Show: Damages; Role: Successful but ruthless lawyer
• Actress: Mariska Hargitay; Show: Law & Order: SVU; Role: Police detective with a heart of gold and a difficult past
• Actress: Holly Hunter; Show: Saving Grace; Role: Slutty, hard-drinking detective whom an angel has told is going to Hell
• Actress: Kyra Sedgwick; Show: The Closer; Role: Smart but off-putting deputy chief for the LAPD

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or Movie
• Actress: Phylicia Rashad; Show: A Raisin In The Sun; Role: Widowed matriarch of a struggling Chicago family that dreams of buying a home
• Actress: Catherine Keener; Show: An American Crime; Role: Crazy divorcee who facilitates torture of a teenage girl
• Actress: Susan Sarandon; Show: Bernard And Doris; Role: Millionaire who leaves fortune to gay butler/best friend
• Actress: Dame Judi Dench; Show: Cranford; Role: Unmarried woman who places propriety at the utmost importance
• Actress: Laura Linney; Show: John Adams; Role: John Adams' intelligent, headstrong wife, Abigail Adams

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series
• Actress: Kristen Chenoweth; Show: Pushing Daisies; Role: Restaurant waitress and admirer of main male character (and boss), Ned
• Actress: Jean Smart; Show: Samantha Who?; Role: Estranged mother with a "bad" side
• Actress: Amy Poehler; Show: Saturday Night Live; Role: various
• Actress: Holland Taylor; Show: Two And A Half Men; Role: Mother known for her promiscuity and shabby treatment of others
• Actress: Vanessa Williams; Show: Ugly Betty; Role: Diva editor-and-chief of fashion magazine

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
• Actress: Candice Bergen; Show: Boston Legal; Role: Smart, sexy, dignified and successful lawyer
• Actress: Rachel Griffiths; Show: Brothers & Sisters; Role: Head of a successful family business who has trouble balancing work with her personal life as a mother and wife
• Actress: Chandra Wilson; Show: Grey's Anatomy; Role: Blunt and tough chief resident surgeon
• Actress: Sandra Oh; Show: Grey's Anatomy; Role: Driven but emotionally-challenged doctor/surgeon
• Actress: Dianne Wiest; Show: In Treatment; Role: Psychiatrist, mentor

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie
• Actress: Audra McDonald; Show: A Raisin In The Sun; Role: Obedient, overworked daughter-in-law to Lena Younger
• Actress: Eileen Atkins; Show: Cranford; Role: Older sister to Dench's character, also a spinster
• Actress: Ashley Jensen; Show: Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale; Role: Well-meaning but socially inept and boy-crazy single Londoner, actress
• Actress: Alfre Woodward; Show: Pictures Of Hollis Woods; Role: Social worker who tries to find a home for a troubled teen
• Actress: Laura Dern; Show: Recount; Role: Bush administration lackey Katherine Harris

Helen Mirren: Television Is Better Than Film [Telegraph]
60th Primetime Emmy Awards Nominations [Emmys.tv]

Related: Emmy Nomination Hell: 10 Plots And Subplots To Watch After Today's Big Announcements [Defamer]

The 60th Primetime Emmys air September 21st on ABC.

Why, it's 90210's Kelly Taylor. "Born to a cokehead mom and an absentee dad, Kelly, in no particular order, lost her virginity via date rape, ODed on diet pills, was badly burned in a house fire, joined a cult, dated a cokehead, became an addict, was single-white-femaled, miscarried, got shot by carjackers, developed amnesia, was sexually harassed by a member of the medical profession, was attacked and raped in an alley, eventually killed her rapist in revenge, and lived through dozens of other comparatively piddling traumas." And Kel's reaction to these unfortunate incidents was always meek acceptance.

An exception to the rule is Buffy, but as we all know, Buffy existed in a supernatural universe. The ladies of Lost are similarly kick ass, but again: they live in a fractured world, not one that is striving for realism. Are there female characters out there taking names who exist in semi-realistic settings? Glenn Close on Damages comes to mind; so does Mariska Hartigay on Law and Order SVU. What other characters are avoiding victimhood successfully (and no, hookers and doormats don't count).

Heigl Says No Thanks, Emmy, It's Undeserved [AP]
The Beautiful And The Damned: From Kelly Taylor To Meredith Grey, The Long-suffering Ladies Of Prime-time TV [Radar]

*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

• Angela Bassett, ER: Bassett will be playing a troubled doctor who comes back to Chicago after doing tsunami relief in Indonesia. Her arrival promises to "shake County General's ER to the core." Verdict: Well "troubled" usually translates to "victim," although a victim usually doesn't shake a television series to it's "core." She might be playing a shrew as well.

• Nicole Kidman, Dusty Springfield Biopic: Novelist Michael Cunningham (The Hours) has revealed that Kidman will star in the upcoming Dusty Springfield biopic he's writing. The film will explore Springfield's tortured, drugged, and depressed years, as well as her successes. Verdict: No one does victims quite like Cunningham, and Springfield's biography is not lacking in victimized and depressed elements.

• America Ferrera, An Invisible Sign of My Own: Ferrera will star in this coming-of-age film about a 20-year-old loner who turns to math for salvation when her father becomes ill. [Uh, isn't that a play called 'Proof'? -Ed.] When the character becomes an adult, she must teach math to students using her crisis as inspiration. BO-RING. Verdict: All of the victim keywords are here: "crisis" "salvation" and "ill father," but the character might overcome her own victimization in the end, so we will have to see how the movie plays out. The only thing that is unfortunate about this is the talented Ferrera starring in another snoozer.

• Shenae Grimes, Beverly Hills, 90210: Former Degrassi: The Next Generation star, Grimes, will play Annie in this 90210 remake on the CW Network. The Annie character will be based on the character played by Shannen Doherty in the original. Verdict: Although Doherty was a decent character on the show, off-set, she was generally too busy victimizing people to be a victim herself.

Angela Bassett Makes Rounds For Last ER Shift [Reuters]
Nicole Kidman Playing Dusty Springfield In Biopic, Says Michael Cunningham [NY Mag]
America Ferrera Joins Invisible [THR]
90210 Cast Continues To Grow [Variety]

[LOLLost]

Earlier: LOLVogue: Teh Hare Toss & Teh Bunnee Hop
I Have An Abusive Boyfriend, And He's Coming Home At 8

Los Angeles Times:

...Upon viewing the pilot and an early episode, it is impossible not to feel a little ripped off. Like getting the Tiffany box, with the white satin bow, and opening it to find... a Starbucks gift card. For 10 bucks. There are worse gifts you could get, sure, and there are worse shows than Jezebel James... The problem is that from these folks you expect a fascinating female lead, but you get instead every uptight, cellphone-clenching, relationship-avoiding, food-issue-riven working woman you've ever seen (and never met).

Among the disillusioning aspects of the new comedy The Return of Jezebel James is the presence of a laugh track, there as if it were a spoonful of peanut butter on a pizza. What business does it have? The question arises because Jezebel is the creation of Amy Sherman-Palladino, a writer who has set her own standards far above convention. On her previous venture, the great, departed Gilmore Girls, the funny lines — about Norman Mailer, Noam Chomsky, Christiane Amanpour, well-known newspaper editors, op-ed columnists, old movies, Susan Faludi — came with such velocity that no laugh track would ever have been able to keep up.

There is too little Ambrose/Posey interaction in the pilot, but in the second episode — when Coco moves in and the two start haggling over the surrogacy contract — Sherman-Palladino's knack for chick dialogue shows some of its old promise. Alas...stories from the just-had-a-baby/about-to-have-a-baby dynamic are rarely as funny as Sex and the City. Or even Friends (remember: Rachel essentially had to put baby Emma in the closet with her purse collection to keep that show going a few more seasons)... Will Jezebel last long enough for the little rugrat to get born?

Perhaps because of the need to establish the premise, Sherman-Palladino doesn't allow Sarah to become anything approaching a flesh-and-blood character, racing from set-up to punchline without much emotion, disappointment or anything else that might humanize her. Nor does Coco fare especially well in the pilot, and a second half-hour (the two are airing together to create a one-hour premiere) proves equally irritating, as they squabble through a meeting to hash out their surrogacy agreement.

Shows like [Gilmore Girls] are something rare, as Fox's The Return of Jezebel James amply demonstrates. In this new sitcom, the stories are exaggerated, the premise is incredible and the chemistry is almost nonexistent.

Although Jezebel is packed with Sherman-Palladino's trademark snappy banter, it's a cold, brittle misfire. Fast-paced, tart dialogue isn't enough to sustain a show if the people reeling it off aren't worth spending time with.

Sherman-Palladino forces the sisters on each other out of an almost crippling sense of joint self-interest that's as painful as it is illogical. Supposedly, the two bond when Sarah tells Coco the name of her new book series: Jezebel James, after Coco's childhood imaginary friend. It's weak grounds for motherhood, and even weaker for comedy.

Earlier: The Return Of Jezebel James: Possibly Disappointing

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• Jamie Lynn Spears will be a guest star on an ABC comedy called Miss Guided, premiering March 20. Judy Greer stars in the sit com and JLS (who wasn't knocked up when she shot the show) plays a troubled student; Ashton Kutcher also guest stars. They really really really want people to watch. [People]
• Scott Weiland pleaded innocent to his DUI charge. He's free on bail and goes to court April 4. [Reuters]
• Jack Osbourne: Sings like his dad. At least when doing karaoke. [Page Six]
• Josh Kelly on those pix of he and Katherine Heigl and the moving truck: "Katherine and I are moving boxes and furniture into our new house in LA and this gang of photographers were there snapping away at us. So I say to them, 'You guys are just going to sit there taking pictures, making money while we bust our asses?'" That's when the paparazzi started lifting boxes. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would not have a kid if it weren't for herbal supplement Airborne, cough cough. [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven continues to hit on women everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?" [Rush & Molloy]
• The court has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney to July 31; though it could end earlier if Brit's mental state keeps improving and stabilizes. It seems like she's in a good place, here's to hoping she keeps it up! [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi allegedly says, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her." Sure, sure. [MSNBC]
• Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkley will host Bravo's new show, Step It Up & Dance. But will she keep her clothes on? [TMZ]
• That boy from American Idol with the pretty pretty lips went to a school for "at-risk" kids and had "issues" or something. Wow, his lips are so pretty. [TMZ]
• Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen's undisclosed health crisis: "I really don't think it's anybody's business." [People]
• Producer Linda Perry is suing over royalties she's owed from James Blunt's album. [Reuters]
• The True Colors Tour is coming! Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s and, um, Carson Kressley. [USA Today]
• Lily Allen won't play the Isle of Wight Festival in the UK because her new album is behind schedule. But leave her alone, she's been through a lot. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the memorial service of Heidi's stepbrother yesterday; he died after slipping off of a roof and was a veteran of combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, 19, will be a virgin until she gets married. She also does not drink, smoke or do drugs. Goody two-shoes. What do you do? [People]
• Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is a "fat-fighting guru" for a new TV show in the UK. She will help mere, common people with their weight issues. [BBC News]
• Jerry O'Connell will take part in a race across the Scottish Highlands. Kayaking, rappelling and that kind of stuff is involved, yet the race is sponsored by a liquor. Interesting. [UPI]
• Bruce Willis is a stoner. [Perez Hilton]
• Producers from The View are not wooing Cindy Crawford, which is too bad. [MSNBC]
• MTV won't air the new Gnarls Barkley video featuring Justin Timberlake because it could trigger an epileptic seizure. View at your own risk! [MSNBC]
• Danny Bonaduce will host a child star reality show, on VH1, which sounds healthy. Not. [UPI]
• Death threats against Daniel Radcliffe? How could anyone hate Harry Potter? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• You know John Waters' Cry-Baby is coming to Broadway, right? (I am so there.) [Page Six]

The main problem with what we're seeing so far is that damn laugh track. Shows like 30 Rock, The Office and Scrubs manage to be funny without canned laughter; Fox should tune in to NBC and take note. Judge for yourself: There's the clip above and another below.

Earlier: Psst!

• According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner (in this case, the show), tries to isolate you from family or friends. When you watch Lost, the world divides into two groups; those who also watch and those who don't. Even my own mother will be denied and ignored if she dares to call while I'm watching tonight. And heaven forbid if she asks, "What's the show about?"

• The wellness site Third Age asks, Do you feel as if your partner keeps you dangling on a string? Does he or she seem to have all of the emotional control? Does this make your own life feel out of control? Yes, yes and yes! Lost leaves you dangling, controls emotions, makes you fall in love with foxy foxes, no-goodniks and heart-melters, muddles their backstories, confuses whether they are good or bad and then snatches them away from you just when you thought you could count on seeing them shirtless once a week.
• Dr. Phil himself says a relationship might be abusive if your partner is making you afraid by using looks, gestures or actions. The black smoke is terrifying! So is Henry Gale/Ben Linus! So is the fact that people manifest things from their past — Kate's horse, Jack's dad? Another mark of the emotional abuser is if the person makes light of the abuse and doesn't take your concerns about it seriously. You think they listened when I begged, "Please don't kill Mr. Eko!"? No!
• You're being abused if your partner does not want you to work. Lost wants me to spend all day cross-referencing conspiracy theories, watching secret videos that may or may not hold insight and reading Hurley's blog. I just know it.
• Lastly, emotionally abusive partners are known for punishing by withholding affection. It's been eight months! As Emily Nussbaum says in New York Magazine today: "Basically, we're kind of like John Locke: Befriend us under false pretenses, steal our kidney, smash us through a window, toss us in a mass grave! You're still our daddy, and we'll follow you anywhere."

  What is Domestic Violence? [The National Domestic Violence Hotline]
  Are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? [ThirdAge]
  Are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? [Dr. Phil]
  Six Secret Lost Videos [10 Zen Monkeys]
  Emily Nussbaum on 'Lost': We Are John Locke [New York Magazine]

While MMaS doesn't really break any new reality TV ground, as the Times says, "A spirited contest is nonetheless possible, even if what's true of the contestants is true of the series itself: It's a little amateurish, wobbly and unaware of its potential." The few reviews out are tepid to positive — Salon calls the models "irritating" but adds, "We're going to be sitting on our fat, ugly asses in front of the TV set with a big bowl of ice cream and watching this show" — but the more interesting stories about MMaS have come from small town papers interviewing the local denizens who made the show.

Without seeing any previews, my fave contestant is already the unfortunately-named Ashlie Olson, 20, from Lexington, Kentucky (her sister Marie-Cate didn't make the cut). In an interview with the Lexington Herald-Leader, Olson discusses her childhood awkward phase in the most adorable way possible. "Oh, yeah, I was like a nerd bomber in elementary school. I had big glasses, and I was on the academic team at Clays Mill. Every year the academic team would go and do these competitions, and you would pick your best subject and you'd take a test on it, and I wound up doing the best of the whole entire convention and they had a picture of me up on the wall for, like, forever. I was such a dork." Nerd bomber!!! Swoon. Ashlie is a lot more endearing than some of the other contestants interviewed so far, in particularly Jathniel Lubin, who tells the Miami Herald, " I will get into acting and try new things and be the best that I can. I don't want to be looked at just as a supermodel, but as a role model." Oh barf.

Viewers of All Sizes Decide Who Walks the Catwalk [New York Times]
TV Daily [Salon]
Model Has Designs On A Super Career [Lexington Herald Leader]
Florida Looks Good On Supermodel Show [Miami Herald]
Make Me A Supermodel [Bravo TV]

Paris is "skinny fat," Rios explains. "Clearly she is not truly fat, but she has no meat nor muscle tone and generally looks unhealthy. Plus, Ms. Hilton has horrible posture." Rios also gets into Tara, Nicole and Courtney's body dysmorphia, and, as an added bonus, runs down a list of "ladies who the media calls "curvy," but in real life, are totally petite and perfect-bodied:"

1. Catherine Zeta-Jones: Don't be a Zeta- hata! She's probably a 4.
2. Salma Hayek: No more than a size 2 or 4 with perfect boobs and butt.
3. Penelope Cruz: Ditto.
4. Scarlett Johansson: Ditto, again.
5. Shakira: Hips don't lie? What hips! She is a pixie.

Fat Celebrity Sex Symbols? Misty Rios Breaks it Down. [ClubPlanet.com]

Each risky factor raised the odds of sexual activity by 44%. Boys with more advanced puberty development started sex early. Teens with low self-esteem may start sex to boost their self-images or gain popularity, Price speculates. Defiant kids with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, those whose parents had little education or those who regularly watched certain types of TV also tried sex sooner.

Plus, chlamydia cases reported in the USA have just topped the 1 million mark for the first time, with the highest rates among adolescent girls, the CDC reported today. And John Douglas, director of STD prevention at the CDC in Atlanta, thinks that number is low. "We have reason to believe that chlamydia is dramatically underreported," he says.

So what shall we do? Fight at the source? How do we encourage parents to spend more time with teenagers? How do we limit the amount of TV teens watch? How do we manage teenage self-esteem? And how do we keep teenage boys from giving teenage girls chlamydia in record numbers?

Study Pinpoints Factors For Early Sex [USA Today]
Chlamydia Tops 1 Million Cases, With STDs Rising Slightly Overall [USA Today]

Speaking of Marcia Cross, bitch had better stich up her broken love tunnel pretty damn quick as it appears Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker have finally stopped all the bitch-slapping and agreed to work on the much-anticipated (heh!) big screen version of Sex and the City. According to one report,

"Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon are all on board and are expected to make up to $5 million each. The hugely successful show, which followed the steamy sex lives of the four stylish New York girls, finished in 2004, leaving fans hankering for more.

A friend of Kim, 50, told London Lite: 'She and the other girls are thrilled that they have finally all agreed to go ahead with the project. '"

Okay. We can believe that.

"'"The movie will be a huge boost to their careers,' says our source."

But we sure as hell don't believe that.

Jimmy Choo zimmer frame, anyone? [thisislondon]

It's nice to see that on really important occasions, like confessing to Matt Lauer that she's a great mother and an emotional wreck with a really good marriage, Britney knows the importance of dressing well. And you know, just because you have thighs the size of Delaware, it's no excuse not to wear a denim micro-mini.