Britain's Missing Top Model, which premiered in the UK in the summer of 2008, began airing on BBC America last night. All of the 8 contestants are white. All of the 8 contestants are thin. All of the 8 contestants are conventionally pretty. Each one of them says, at some point in the first episode, that they think they're attractive. These are not women with confidence issues. (Debbie, who lost most of her arm in a bus crash, has posed for Playboy.) The judges make some good points — one says, being disabled is part of the world, "Why shouldn't it be part of fashion?" But while watching these women — all pleasing to the human eye — I thought, well, it's not much of a stretch to find beautiful people beautiful. Wouldn't an eye-opening show feature women with cleft palates or port-wine stains — visible differences which tend to make people uncomfortable?

Then again, maybe the fact that they're all pretty is the point? These are not your "average" disabled people, just as models are not "average" people. The contestants want a shot in an industry in which aesthetics is everything, so, naturally, they're going to be aesthetically pleasing. Maybe the point is: "I'm pretty, I just happen to have one arm, but don't let that stop you from hiring me to model designer shoes." The problem is, that doesn't make for very dramatic television.

Take Debbie, for instance. when asked if she'd show off her disability, she was totally fine with it. So her photo shoot was pretty boring.

And Sophie, who survived a what she describes as a "violent" car accident and is paralyzed, also had a boring (gorgeous, but anti-climatic) photo shoot.

At the critique, the judges said one nice thing and one critical thing about every model's picture, which Jenny from Seattle found frustrating. "Don't patronize me," she spat.

The judges couldn't even agree on what the show is really about. Two deaf women are in the final 8, but the judges wondered: Shouldn't the winner be visibly disabled? Or isn't that part of the point: Not all disabilities are visible? In the argument, the disabled judged fought for a girl with a visible disability, but was outvoted by the other able-bodied judges, and the contestant the disabled judge liked was sent home, and the judges had to watch her limp out the door. Why not listen to the one disabled judge? Dumb.

Frankly, the show would be more successful, more interesting if it followed one disabled model and her trials and triumphs in trying to get work — as well as how she was encountered in the fashion industry. Because watching the judges niggle and nit-pick over eight beautiful women is tiresome.

In July 2008 a reader spotted a Nordstrom catalog featuring a model in a wheelchair. I'd much rather watch a series about how this came to be and follow as someone, Michael-Moore style, asks execs why we haven't seen other catalogs/ad campaigns do the same. Maybe the world is "missing" a "top" model to tell that story.

Earlier: On BBC Show, Disabled Models Learn Same Lessons As Any Other Models

The reality series originally aired last year summer in the UK (if you want to know who the winner was, click here). As Alessandra Stanley writes for The New York Times, though it supposedly is "designed to raise the profile and confidence of disabled women," it actually "makes a spectacle of their hunger for acceptance."

Though many of the contestants have visible physical disabilities — one is in a wheelchair, one is missing an arm — one young lady, Kellie, is deaf. Apparently that's a boon for a model. Stanley writes:

If anything, the absence of communication may even be an asset in the modeling world. Mr. Phang says to a photographer, "It's kind of nice working with deaf girls because there's not those sort of irritating questions."

But the Times makes it sound like Britian's Missing Top Model doesn't actually break down any barriers in modeling — it's really the same old, same old: Thin is in.

"Rebecca's disability didn't cause me any problems," a photographer says after shooting Rebecca, 27, a stunning brunette who was born with a deformed hip and wears a prosthetic leg. "It was just the fact she's not really in shape. Most models are pretty toned, slimmer, more agile."

Disabled, And Seeking Acceptance in Fashion [NY Times]

Earlier: You Wanna Be On Top
TV Show Searches For Disabled Model
Related: Britian's Missing Top Model [ONTD]

Watching the new Sundance Channel series, which premiered last night, I kept thinking: It's one thing to buy stuff from all over the world and collect it in one store; Johnson's goal is to make sure all Anthro stores from mall to mall, New York to Los Angeles, have the same shabby-chic "found object" vibe. This requires spending thousands of dollars to travel and shop. So that a mass retailer looks like a quaint boutique.

Sometimes, the shopping excursions make total sense: For instance, Johnson purchases work from artist Aurélie Alvarez, which allows her to make a living as an artist.

But on the other hand, there seems to be no difference between "want" and "need" in this show. Of course, it's Keith Johnson's job to find things to put in Anthropologie stores, but it's kind of weird to hear him say, "I need a huge pieces." No, you want large pieces. To keep up the marketing tool that is retail design. Would people shop at Anthropologie if the stores had blank white walls and just racks? No, they need to be convinced they're somewhere special, with special things. That is why Johnson purchased this gorgeous antique circus backdrop — which will end up behind a cash register. It was 800 Euros. Now shoppers can look at something pretty while handing over a credit card. It was a "must-have."

Still, it's interesting to watch Johnson shop, if you love antiquing and haggling. He has a bargaining technique involving the code word "taxidermy."

With many of the items he snaps up — like these antique posters — there is no price mentioned to us, the viewing audience, at all. If you see them for sale in Anthro, remember that the markup includes airfare from France.

At L'Isle sur la Sorque, the "third largest antiques center after Paris and London," Johnson found this "Hollywood" bed.

There's no mistaking that Johnson has vision — the bed looks exactly like what customers expect from Anthropologie.

And guess what? There's now no need to travel to France to find a dreamy bedframe: Anthropologie knocked off the design.

That's what sort of bugs me about Anthropologie. You spend money to look like a world traveler with wonderful, unique pieces — when you've just gone to a corporate store — possibly in a mall — and purchased the same thing women in 120 other stores purchased. Since the prices are so high, if you didn't shop at Anthropologie, you could probably afford to fly somewhere and buy some "unique" stuff yourself. Or just go to your local flea market and give a local dealer your business. Instead, shopping from Anthro, you get the safe, sanitized, pre-approved Americanized version… Without ever having to leave your town, and really see and experience different cultures and countries.

Whatever. I'll probably watch again next week.

Earlier: Man Shops Globe: Where Your Heaps Of Overpriced Tchotchkes Come From
Previous Anthropologie Posts

Reading the reviews, the show sounds painfully smug and self-important. Gina Bellafante writes for The New York Times:

Each half-hour episode of the eight-part series finds him in a new country, shopping antiques stores, open-air markets, galleries and artisans' studios. On the spectrum of unjustified self-importance, he falls somewhere between the standard annoying contestant on Project Runway, and that psycho realtor on Flipping Out. Like so many in design and fashion, he anxiously labors under the belief that what he is doing is akin to negotiating for the United Nations…

…What he pays for the tchotchkes he finds below the equator is never clear, ensuring that you can't do a spit-take when you calculate the markup.

Salon's Heather Havrilesky calls the show "at once so fascinating and so repugnant." She writes of Johnson:

His job traveling the globe to buy enormous overpriced pieces of weird, ancient junk so that Anthropologie can put that junk in its stores and sell it for truly ludicrous, mind-blowing prices is obviously the sort of job that anyone who wishes they had enough time and energy to rummage endlessly through flea markets would love.

In case you're not entirely sure where she stands on this, her piece is titled "Overpriced Antiques For Anxious Yuppies." (In case you don't know, Anthro is owned by Urban Outfitters Inc, along with Free People, Terrain and Leifsdottir. The company has a revenue of $1.50 billion.)

The Washington Post's Hank Stuever has branded the program "An Inventory of Malarkey," and he writes:

We are told over and over how exciting this is, traveling beyond the mere state of retail inventory and into the higher realm of object curation; how Johnson's "heart stops beating" when he senses a find around the corner in a Parisian flea market or an Istanbul bazaar. […] [B]ut Johnson's suitcase (an old-fashioned hard-sided piece of luggage with leather straps) is more interesting than he is.

He also notes that the show is a "protracted ad for Anthropologie."

Traveling the world and picking up fabulous finds does sound like an amazing job — and even a great premise for a show. But seeing how Anthopolgie's sausage gets made — knowing ceramic cups bought for a song in Argentina will soon be priced up and on thousands of mall shelves around the country — kind of sucks the fun out of it. (At one point, in South Africa, Johnson sees ceramic veggies for sale and finds them tiresome, spitting: "You can buy a ceramic piece of corn in China for less than a dollar.") All I can think of is Edina Monsoon selling Eskimo papooses in Ab Fab, justifying it by telling Saffie: "Don't look like that, sweetie. Any chance of a quick buck in the Artic, they tip the babies out and ship them down, I tell you." If there's a way to take stuff from the have-nots and sell it — with a considerable markup — to the haves, without seeming crass, you apparently won't see it on this show. Which doesn't mean I won't tune in to check it out.

The World Is His Oyster. His Pearls: Tchotchkes. [NY Times]
Overpriced Antiques For Anxious Yuppies [Salon]
'Man Shops Globe': An Inventory Of Malarkey [WaPo]

Earlier: Anthropologie: Sartorialist-ic "Real" People Impossibly Pretty, Well-Dressed
The Urban Outfitters Ethics Survey: Unintentionally Hilarious
5 Hideous Things Urban Outfitters Wants You To Wear This Summer
May Anthropologie Catalog: Totally Watered Down
Anthropologie "Giving": We Love To Hate & Hate To Love It
Free People: More Overpriced Thrift Store Crap Masquerading As Vintage Chic
Summer At 'Free People': Crafty Crocheted Crap, At Twice The Price Of Thrift Stores!

[Los Angeles, October 4. Image via INFDaily.]

Having a Macy's challenge is understandable, they're partnering with the show, and I'll gladly sit through a thinly-veiled commercial about INC if I'm watching interesting programming. But "something blue" is not a challenge. Anyway: The designers were paired up into teams. Epperson and Christopher made a shirtdress, and Tim Gunn said something like, "You really have potential here for serious reinvention." Maybe he meant: You need to reinvent what you have done? Christopher took it to mean that they'd reinvented the shirtdress. "That's pretty cool," he said. Reality TV 101: If someone thinks something is awesome, it is not.

Meanwhile: Nicolas, the breakout shit-talker of the season, was working on a two ruffled dresses with Louise. When she wasn't around, he declared: "Ruffles make me sick."

Additionally: "That ruffled thing just looks weird and strange."

On the runway, the judges agreed: The ruffles were awful. "I wanted something to spice it up a bit," Louise explained. "…And that was ruffles," Heidi said astutely. Michael Kors was disgusted, calling the garment "a bridesmaid's dress with a shower loofa." Both dresses were stiff and ugly, but Nicolas had immunity, so he didn't care.

The judges hated Christopher and Epperson's bubble dress and shirtdress, too. Heidi thought the bubble dress looked like it had a lobster bib on it. Michael Kors called it a "teal charmeuse disco pumpkin." Christopher cried. Real tears.

The judges really liked Irina's sweet mitered-stripe dress, which seemed kind of Ella Moss to me, but whatevs. Irina and Gordana won.

Irina and Gordana's two-piece ensemble did seem like something I might actually wear.

Carol Hanna and Shirin made this sassy day-to-night number, which the judges didn't have a problem with.

Tim Gunn was all, "Don't get me started on leggings." But the judges seemed to think the other outfit by Carol Hannah and Shirin was okay.

Christopher's disco pumpkin certainly has a familiar shape; he's done the tight-around-the-neck-and-then-backless thing a few times.

Call me crazy, but I liked the shirtdress Christopher and Epperson designed. And it seemed like Tim Gunn, did too.

Team Ruffle made two flavors of fug: Blueberry cobbler…

And blueberry poptart. No more Louise "Brooks"! But Louise Black has an Etsy store, so you can keep tabs on her there.

Images via MyLifetime.com

Earlier: Previous Project Runway Posts

But duh, of course it was. Luke and chunky dudes like Jack Black, Kevin James and Seth Rogen always get the ladies, where as women are supposed to be THIN THIN THIN! Anyway: Malissa doesn't care how much Luke weighs. So Luke took her back to his hotel room…

…Where his bed was strewn with flowers.

And they made out.

I really enjoyed this Frankensoundbite of Malissa saying that she was shocked that a dolphin could support their weight. Kudos to someone in the editing room for cobbling those sounds together, because those words may have come out of Malissa's mouth, but not in that order.

The next day, Luke had a date with Tali, who, can I just note, is STUNNING?

Hot. Period.

Luke informed Tali that they'd be going snorkeling, and Tali, though she'd been in the Israeli Navy, informed him that she had a fear of water.

So Tali was scared.

And sad.

But she went snorkeling anyway!

And somehow Luke talking her through getting in the ocean made Tali fall in love with Luke and so on. And even though he's dating two other women, which Tali finds "annoying and disturbing"…

Luke took Tali back to his hotel room, where the bed was strewn with flowers.

And they made out.

Lastly, Luke went out with Mandy.

He told her he could picture himself being married to her. Then they made out on a bed strewn with flowers.

The next day, he eliminated her from the show.

Only two ladies left: Who will Luke propose to?

Take Malissa, seen in the clip above. When Puke Luke took her out on a one-on-one date in last night's episode, he gushed, "we'd have some good-looking kids." My theory is that he will end up with Malissa at the end of the show, because all of the other women have jobs like stylist/model/fitness instructor, and Malissa is a waitress. He says he wants someone who has her own dreams, but it seems like he really wants a woman to be a kid-producing housewife.

And seriously, in which universe is this woman Malissa fat, unattractive, or someone who finds it tough to meet a man?

Let's face it: She knows that she is hot.

Here are the other ladies in the final four:

Mandy, who is not fat and is, in fact, a fitness instructor.

Anna, who is not fat, and makes her living as a plus-size model.

Tali, the simply gorgeous Israeli stylis/decorator who is not fat.

There's still some drama left in the show:Malissa also seems to have (or has been edited to have) an evil streak.

She let loose a barrage of questions on sensitive Mandy, which made Mandy cry and say, "I'm an emotional wreck."

Then again, when Luke met Mandy's parents, her mom called Mandy "crazy."

Actually, Luke went on four dates, and met with some family members with each of the four ladies, and came up with four things "wrong" with each. Malissa never babysat for her sister; Mandy might not be ready for marriage; Tali is Israeli; Anna travels a lot as a model. (Anna was eliminated last night. Awesome career? You're not for Luke!)

But the real problem is that the show that was supposed to be about the "real" or "overweight" people finding love is really about one guy with 3 gorgeous, busty women to choose from. Decisions, decisions!

Tim Gunn was worried when Malvin described his jodhpurs as "chicken thighs," but he should have been more worried about the "egg" part of Malvin's top, which was not flattering. At all.

Here's the side view:

My boyfriend saw this and made a comment about dumping/placenta, and if you throw in "Ace bandage," that seems fairly accurate. Malvin is the perfect example of a designer who is into design but not fashion that women can wear. Or would want to.

Just a note: Rebecca's belly did not look anything like those pillows the models were wearing.

Mitchell made some giant shorts, which he found simply hilarious. Clothing in big sizes is always knee-slappingly funny. FAT IS SO FUNNY.

Heidi, Nina, Rebecca and guest judge Monique Lhuillier (filling in for Michael Kors) did not find the jumbo shorts amusing. Nina scolded Mitchell, saying his model was "a mess." MItchell's excuse: "I had some difficulties with the shorts." Right, it was so difficult to laugh about them and have your fellow contestants each stand in one leg.

The judges were also not impressed by Malvin's egg/chicken ensemble. "I don't think any pregnant woman wants to be thought of as a chicken," Heidi said, quite rightly. "I don't want to look like an egg," Rebecca agreed. Nina declared the design "bizarre."

Of all the dresses on the runway, I really liked Shirin's, and she was declared the winner.

But! I also really liked what Louise Brooks Black created.
Flirty retro-chic, in a sophisticated color, with lots of well-thought-out details.

Even though Mitchell's FAIL shorts FAILED, he was safe for another week.

But Malvin? His egg was cooked.
Auf Wiedersehen, Malvin! Oh, what's that? You have some last words you'd like to share with us? Okay.

[Sketch and runway images via MyLifetime.com]

But first: did anyone notice that this episode began with a close-up shot of waffles?
Just in case you forgot that fatties EAT.

There have been signs all along that Kristian is a bit cuckoo for cocoa puffs, but when she got an invitation to go dancing with Luke and Mandy and said, "Hopefully, Mandy falls and breaks an ankle…" that was more than a hint. I mean, the producers can edit footage to make you look kooky, or you can just talk to them and say wacko stuff. Your choice!

In addition, when Malissa got a one-on one date with Luke, Anna jokingly did a little "headdesk" move. Kristian took her "headdesk" a little farther, right down the path of self-abuse.

Malissa's date with Luke involved a helicopter ride to a vineyard, and then a ride on a bicycle built for two, which busted. Luke took responsibility for that, saying, "The fat kid broke the bike. I wish I could say it was the first time."

When Malissa came back from her date, she announced that she was in love with Luke. But Kristian wanted everyone to know that SHE was ALSO in love in Luke.

Luke invited Anna, Heather and Tali on a beach date, which annoyed Tali. She was like, great, "Another date in a bathing suit."

Of course, Luke had this to say: "I'm taking Heather, Tali and Anna to the beach. I feel anytime they can show off their bodies it's awesome; it kind of shows me how confident they are and that's a real turn-on for me." Yeah, it's awesome for you. When they got to the beach, none of the ladies took off their dresses, preferring to remain covered. But Luke went ahead and took off his shirt. And then asked the women to slather him with sunscreen.

At the mixer at the end of the episode, krazy Kristian did a krazy thing and told Luke that she loved him. In 3 languages. His response? "I'm flattered." Never a good sign. Then, as seen in the first clip, she was eliminated from the show. And she cried. A lot. And she also mentioned that she was "the biggest girl in the house," as if that had anything to do with it, and not the fact that she was delusional about her "love" with Luke.

Heather, who was also eliminated, also cried. But she had a better attitude about he experience on the show: she said she wore a bathing suit in front of people and didn't even care. And: "It's made me realize who I am despite what size I am."

Writer Neal Justin is trying to make the point that the rash of plus-size TV shows — Drop Dead Diva, Dance Your Ass Off; Ruby, More To Love and The Biggest Loser — are getting great ratings, and writes: "Fat is suddenly fabulous, at least on TV." Not in real life! In real life it's still totally gross, okay?

But what Justin wants to know is why. Why would people want to watch shows with plus-size characters? He writes, "Why this appetite for fuller-figured personalities?" But it almost sounds like: Why would you want to watch fatties?

You'd think, since according to one study, "adult obesity rates increased in 23 states last year," it's about American audiences seeing a reflection of themselves.

But Paul Telegdy, who oversees NBC's reality programming (including Biggest Loser) says: "I think it embraces a concern and a worry that keeps a lot of Americans awake at night." Hear that? You're lying awake at night, afraid to get fat, which makes you watch The Biggest Loser.

Yeah, I'll just go ahead and say: Bullshit! If you're watching these shows, it's because there's drama, and a human story. We love a personal story, and if it's personal, it's universal. Even if you've never been overweight, you can understand the range of human emotions showcased on these programs: Frustration, heartbreak, dedication, triumph. As Loser host Alison Sweeney says: "[The show] strikes at the heart of the human spirit.You see people being able to overcome this obstacle that seems insurmountable. Miracles can happen."

And honestly? It's not like plus-size, overweight, fat or large people all live sequestered from society. In many cases, they're your mom, your dad, your aunt, your uncle, you, me. It's not strange that people are interested in seeing plus-size people on TV; it's strange that up until now, plus-size people have been mostly ignored on TV.

A Growing Appetite for Plus-Size Personalities [WaPo]

I went out and had a couple of beers. And now I'm gonna have a burger. And I'm gonna watch some FASHION, dammit! Let's do this.

11:00
Well that was fun. Thanks for playing, folks. Tim Gunn hugs!

10:58
Sheer nightgowns beat geodesic disco soccerballs every time.

10:57
Qristyl is safe, as is Ra'mon.

10:56
Johnny Meth: Safe.
Christopher won the challenge!

10:50
Lindsay is strangely lackluster, no?

10:48
Ra'mon is safe, obvs. Johnny Meth is gonna be okay. Everyone loves Christopher.

10:46
Did Ari say Nobel Peace Prize? AND DID LINDSAY GET SNIPPY????

10:45
Nina is not amused by Ari.

10:44
Qristyl is getting ripped apart. Heidi and Michael like Matthew's dress, and so does Nina. And so do I!

10:43
LINDSAY IS FROWNING.

10:42
No to Logan. No to Nicholas.

10:40
I like Christopher's and Louise's and the blonde lady who sent an old Hollywood dress out first. And Shirin. And Irina, though it's not made for someone with boobs. Boo on Ari. Sorry.

10:38
RUNWAY SHOW!!!

10:37
Michael! Nina! LINDSAY!

10:32
"I do not care what state of repair or disrepair people are in."

10:31
Wait. His model will be NUDE? Or wearing a toga?

10:30
Runway show day already! Will there be a last-minute twist?

10:24
Tim Gunn's pause for Qrystal's dress: Hilarious.

10:22
"Cruise line cocktail waitress."
And
"What's it gonna look like?"
"I don't know what you mean."

10:21
"No one can describe what I do." Yes, the vocabulary does not exist. That's it.

10:21
Tim Gunn's hugs are made of Unicorn sighs.

10:20
I know the answer to that question, by the way.

10:19
Why would they cast the guy in the throes of sobering up?

10:16
Oh but I like Qrystal too even if spelling her name gives me an aneurysm.

10:15
Tears already. Early faves, anyone? I am watching Louise, Epperson and Malvin, and not because they all have interesting hair.

10:13
If Tim Gunn says innovation is key, you better bring it!

10:12
"I don't sketch. I just try to meditate."

10:11
There's a Mood in L.A.? Who knew.

10:09
Emmys Red Carpet… this was… when? Dumb lawsuits keeping the show from airing so long.

10:07
Louise Black and Malvin should have a hair battle.

10:06
I love you Tim and Heidi. Why are you in L.A.? Sob.

10:05
Woodland fairies are blonde and from the South, that is what I have learned.
Epperson is 49!! Love it. It's never too late.

10:03
A tent. Water purification. Am I hearing correctly?

10:02
Malvin wins best hair.

Also: "I don't call it plus size. I call it plus sexy" is a great soundbite.

10:01
"Crystal meth."

10:00
It's starting! All guys so far.

9:59
If there is a cuter pregnant person than Heidi Klum, don't tell me about it.

9:57pm
Crap. I wanted to watch the all-star challenge later, at my leisure. Now I know Korto is sad. Boo.