Goddammit I Hate Myself For Laughing at This "Dancing" Turtle

This video will not Shock You. It is not the Greatest Most Epic Thing Ever. It's a video of a turtle supposedly twerking to Jason Derulo's "Wiggle" (of course). And it's vertical. Still, I laughed at it (out loud) even though I know I shouldn't have, and now I'm sharing it with you because I am the worst sort of…
Adorable Turtle Eats Adorable Buttercups
Let us not contemplate whether or not feeding a tortoise flowers is good for the tortoise. Let us instead appreciate the giggly wonder of how tortoises chomp on stuff. [Buzzfeed]
Loose Lips
Priscilla Presley is allegedly one of the many victims of Argentine doctor Daniel Serrano, who has been charged with injecting his patients with a low grade silicone, similar to the kind used to lubricate auto parts. Word is that Serrano smuggled this shady silicone into the U.S. and charged up to $500 an hour to…
