[Washington, D.C., November 25. Image via Getty]

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 25: Sasha Obama, the daughter of U.S. President Barack Obama, looks at a turkey named 'Courage' during an event to pardon the 20-week-old and 45-pound turkey at the North Portico of the White House November 25, 2009 in Washington, DC. The Presidential pardon of a turkey has been a long time Thanksgiving tradition that dates back to the Harry Truman administration. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Related: Obama Sends Turkey to Die in California [Gawker]

California's Proposition 2 requires that farm animals have room to move around by 2015, but confinement may be the least of some birds' worries. A new PETA expose has revealed widespread abuse at turkey farms in West Virginia. PETA's video of the abuse (not for the faint of heart) includes workers stomping on turkeys' heads and pretending to rape them. One worker describes punishing a wayward bird by shoving a broomstick two feet down its neck while shouting at the other birds, "Let that be a lesson to y'all."

In more news to make you sad about humanity, yesterday, the Humane Society reported that Petland, a national pet store chain, has been selling customers dogs from puppy mills while telling them the pooches came from good breeders. The mills often keep breeding dogs in cages for their whole lives with no exercise or human contact. Many of these cages are filthy, and sick or even dead dogs are sometimes caged up with healthy ones.

Many of us can agree that stomping a bird or caging a dog with its dead brother are inhumane, but many of us will also eat turkey this Thanksgiving. Bioethicist Peter Singer, however, in a new article in Newsweek, thinks this is about to change. He believes we'll soon come to see animal mistreatment as akin to sexism and racism (apparently, California voters already care more about animal rights than gay rights), and thus our society will eventually become vegan. As a substitute, he thinks we may turn to meat grown in vats from real animal cells. Until that happens, vegetarians (like me) will have to rely on Tofurkey, side dishes (the best part of Thanksgiving anyway), and of course the suspicious stares of grandparents who wonder what weird religion we are practicing now.

Sarah Palin Watches Turkeys Die, For Fun [Gawker]
An Update On A Case Of Alleged Turkey Abuse [LA Times]

Petland Linked To Puppy Mills [Humane Society]
The Rights Of Animals [Newsweek]
A Recipe For A Family Fight [Newsweek]

Related: Sarah Palin's Red-Meat Speech Written By Vegetarian Ex-Bush Speechwriter [LA Times]

ANA MARIE: Ready when you are.

MEGAN: I am personally ready to go back to bed, pull my covers over my head and stay there for several hours, but I'm happy to write this first.

ANA MARIE: Yeah I'm in the same mood. But what's on your mind?

MEGAN: You mean, other than the fact that hardly anyone still cares about politics enough to read about it?

The most pronounced declines were in traffic at popular news Web sites, which saw a steady increase for months. The tide crested as Americans went to the polls; MSNBC.com, which has been the most popular news site for several months, had 25.1 million unique visitors during the week of the election (it also reported 471 million page views on Election Day — a record for the site). Since then, millions of visitors have gone elsewhere, according to Nielsen Online.

MEGAN: Well, I know how I'm doing in terms of traffic, and it comes down to "Where my bitches at?" But, really, are the latest polls and Electoral College speculations news either? Sarah Palin's manhandling of the English language? Tucker Bounds' endless enthusiasm for getting his ass handed to him on national TV?

ANA MARIE: Well that was a story with a definitive ending. Twists and turns and some fake outs, but there was going to be an end, and people wanted to see how it'd turn out. The Obama story is just getting started. We don't have a sense of who the characters are (where is the damn fucking PUPPY?), who the villains are, what the great struggles will be...

MEGAN: Whether the puppy is house trained...

ANA MARIE: WHAT PAPER WILL IT POOP ON????? THAT, my friend, is the way we solve business model for the MSM. What paper will have the honor of being the First Puppy's training pad.

MEGAN: What is an environmentally responsible way to clean up dog shit on the White House lawn... and will the girls have to do it?

ANA MARIE: I sort of hope the girls have to do it. It's good practice for dating (I.e., discovering cute things can make horrible messes).

MEGAN: Wow, and suddenly I have a reason to blame my sister's allergies for the whole of my adult life. Okay, so, the other thing is I guess there's a good reason Obama will be giving up his Blackberry and it's not even just to avoid the Freedom Of Information Act — or it's not going to be now.

ANA MARIE: I wonder if you can really call it "hacking" if they were employees who likely just snooped where they shouldn't have. I mean, that sort of elevates "being a dick" to something that sounds technologically sophisticated. I am offended on the part of hackers.

MEGAN: True that, it wasn't really "hacking" as much as it was using their privileges for unauthorized purposes. The Paris Hilton Sidekick hackers are totally offended.

ANA MARIE: It's also true that by that logic, no one in the White House or, really, anywhere in government should have a cell phone. Unauthorized searches, they're not just for the Bush Administration anymore! This is what happens when you gives telcoms immunity! They get cocky!

MEGAN: Yes, and half of the Ohio government too, it seems, since they were all furiously digging into Joe The Motherfucking Plumber, and not in a sexytime way.

ANA MARIE: That's the thing about having a job with access to sensitive information — at some point, you probably are going to be in a position where your curiosity gets the better of you. I actually don't know if I have a problem with employees LOOKING UP that info. Because how do you restrict people who normally have a reason to be looking up random people's dirty secrets? The issue here might have been, you know, telling the media.

MEGAN: Yes, that part. I mean, I have a problem if someone at my cell phone provider goes, ooh, look, she wrote something online I didn't like, let's go learn about her life! But I have less of a problem if someone wants to dig through my state records and find an unpaid parking ticket. I have a bigger problem if they then tell people about it. I mean, this was the State Department scandal last year — and it turns out that it was actually easy to restrict access, it's just nobody did so.

ANA MARIE: That's probably as good a segue as any to my favorite aspect of the Clinton SecState pick-or-no-pick: How much of it is simply fucking with other possible appointees? Al Kamen examines the "whither Richardson" part of it here. But of course the real loser in a Hillary as SecState situation is Kerry. He is a loser generally.

MEGAN: Well, Obama's team is confirming they're serious, finally. I don't think it's fucking with Richardson, Kerry, Hagel or Nunn, I think it's just going, um, Kerry, no, Hagel, no, Nunn, definitely not, and Richardson should have thought about his political career instead of his dick for a while now.

ANA MARIE: I do no believe a word I read on Politico, but apparently the WSJ has similar confirmation.

MEGAN: I don't necessarily believe a word I read anywhere, but it seems like if it wasn't serious than, like Pritzker, they would have cut it off at the knees more than a week ago.

ANA MARIE: I think this is a more complicated situation than Pritzker. Also, Obama has nothing to lose here, if the situation is that he wants to offer it to her. The only bad play is if it turns out he was never serious. Then he looks like a dick. But weeks of speculation, followed by an offer? She turns him down=she will be more powerful in the Senate and gets to be her own woman. He looks magnamious. She accepts=he looks wise, she probably does an okay job AND she's off the radar for 2012.

MEGAN: And a huge dick at that, and I just don't think that Axelrod or Gibbs would have been letting this go on if it wasn't serious consideration. I love, by the way, that every time I hear a story about liberals being upset about this, she's called "pro-war." Like, guys, really? Hillary Clinton is really not particularly hawkish and you're making yourselves look stupid.

ANA MARIE: Well, she was very much pro the particular war that was fucking us up for awhile.

MEGAN: She was very pro-Afghanistan, but who other than Barbara Lee wasn't in September 2001? Anyway, we should probably also talk about Mukasey collapsing, even though he's reportedly okay. Mukasey should be careful when giving speeches defending all the extra-legal shit this Administration has done, it takes a man with steel balls, an icy heart and a strong stomach to lie like Gonzales did for so long.

ANA MARIE: Which is why Dick Cheney will probably live forever.

MEGAN: Dick Cheney will only live as long as he has a fresh supply of innocent blood on which to feast. Speaking of, did you see Palin and the turkeys?

ANA MARIE: Ugh. I haven't eaten yet so I supposed if I look at all I should look now but ...

MEGAN: I am not squeamish about my omnivory, but if you get squicked, don't watch,

ANA MARIE: But I don't doubt that lady likes blood.

MEGAN: Basically, two turkeys get slaughtered and are bled out behind her as she talks — surprisingly well — about issues facing Alaska.

ANA MARIE: Well, she's not bad when she's on subjects that she knows something about. It's just that there are surprisingly few of those.

MEGAN: I think, strictly speaking, her lack of preparation speaks well for whomever are the candidates in 2012 (or, at least the one who has to pick a VP) to not play this stupid game of chicken to try to one-up the other side. If he had picked her in, like, June, then I think she wouldn't have been so terrible.

ANA MARIE: "How the Palin nomination would not have been so terrible" could be a very long book. A sad one, ultimately, and probably not one anyone would read. Speaking of which: I wonder what this downturn in interest in politics means for the kajillion Obama books that will be coming out!

MEGAN: I think once most Americans have their commemorative coins and plates, that will be about it.

ANA MARIE: Did Richard Wolffe let Obama beat him in basketball for nothing? "I sucked up to Obama for a year and a half and all I got was this lousy book contract."

MEGAN: Well, he might just want to wait until the Administration fucks something up and then do it as a tell-all of hubris and overconfidence or something.

ANA MARIE: Smart.

MEGAN: For a campaign that attempted to accuse everyone and anyone of sexism in regards to Sarah Palin, there's some sort of irony in campaign staff now calling her a "diva", I think. Also, I love the back-stabbing of the end of a campaign because it just shows you who is in it for the candidate and who's only in it for what the candidate winning can do for his/her career. And, yes, I'm looking at all the lobbyists in the McCain campaign.

LATOYA: I just feel like it's karma — you asked for a maverick, didn't you? Well now, she's just gone maverick on the trail. I watched McCain on Meet the Press on Sunday, he still says he's proud of her.

MEGAN: Not that her remarks this weekend were "the remarks [they] sent to the plane [that] morning."

LATOYA: I'm loving how some polls are calling Palin "a bigger drag on the campaign than Bush" — that's cold. Yet, there seems to be a strong push for Palin in 2012. (OMG, I am sleepy — I keep typing Plain when I mean Palin. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something?)

MEGAN: Apparently because she can deliver the xenophobes and the racists.

LATOYA: And the VPILF set.

MEGAN: Then Stephanie Herseth for VP in 2012!

LATOYA: Don't forget them. I was watching D.L. Hughley's comedy show on CNN on Saturday and Palin supporters were obviously playing bingo with the campaign buzzwords. "Maverick." "Real American." "Hot"

MEGAN: Palin supporters are the most boring people ever, like, how do you not just make that a drinking game?

LATOYA: See, I was thinking scrabble myself. I know I could hit a couple triple word scores with "RealAmerican", hit "maverick" with the M... I was amused at Hughley's sketch though — he kept telling the supporters that Palin needs a black guy to win, and handed out Palin/Hughley 2012 signs.

MEGAN: The only board game I am really good at is Trivial Pursuit, and even that I haven't played in years.

LATOYA: Response from the one guy — "We don't know you!" (Doesn't that sound familiar?)

Response from an angry woman: "Are you for abortion?"
DL: "I would never have one."

MEGAN: Maybe they're just worried that all black people aren't really Americans.

LATOYA: Neither are you latte-sipping coasters.

MEGAN: Screw lattes, it's all about the café au laits for me.

LATOYA: I think we need to start a campaign for fake America. American Faux. We need a tee shirt.

MEGAN: What would be our symbol? Lattes, arugula and diversity?

LATOYA: Oh, we should make a crest! "In cosmopolitia, we trust."

MEGAN: Do we still have to use the eagle? Could we go with the turkey like Ben Franklin, the ultimate latte-sipper if there ever was one? And then like in those old grade school drawings where you make it from an outline of your hang, we could put a different symbol for our cause on every feather!

LATOYA: See, this is shaping up nicely. I vote for Ben Franklin, Crispus Attucks, and Phyllis Wheatley as our symbols of American Faux. Though I think the first tee we make should be telling K. Rove to sit his ass down somewhere and stop being Captain Obvious. I thought he was a strategist. Who changed the job description?

MEGAN: A strategist is something even other Republicans think McCain lacks. Rove's a pundit now and so like Bill Kristol he has to walk that fine line between a level of intellectual honesty that can leave his job intact and party loyalty, so that's about all he can say. At least David Frum had some helpful suggestions, even if they were basically to let McCain continue to run his campaign into the ground on his own and start fighting to keep some Republicans in office.

LATOYA: Yeah, well it looks like they switched strategies — maybe they are hoping that they can just stop people from voting outright. Or that the election boards will do their work for them:

Berry is one of more than 50,000 registered Georgia voters who have been "flagged" because of a computer mismatch in their personal identification information. At least 4,500 of those people are having their citizenship questioned and the burden is on them to prove eligibility to vote. Experts say lists of people with mismatches are often systematically cut, or "purged," from voter rolls.

It's a scenario that's being repeated all across the country, with cases like Berry's raising fears of potential vote suppression in crucial swing states. "What most people don't know is that every year, elections officials strike millions of names from the voter rolls using processes that are secret, prone to error and vulnerable to manipulation," said Wendy Weiser, an elections expert with New York University's Brennan Center for Justice. "That means that lots and lots of eligible voters could get knocked off the voter rolls without any notice and, in many cases, without any opportunity to correct it before Election Day." Weiser acknowledged that "purging done well and with proper accountability" is necessary to remove people who have died or moved out of state. "But the problem is it's not necessary to do inaccurate purges that catch up thousands of eligible voters without any notice or any opportunity to fix it before Election Day and really without any public scrutiny at all," she said. Such allegations have flared up across the United States during this election cycle, most notably in Ohio, where a recent lawsuit has already gone to the U.S. Supreme Court.

MEGAN: I love how even Scalia was like, oh, Christ, fuck off, Ohio Republicans.

LATOYA: I feel like I need to call the election board and make sure I'm on the guest list. I didn't know voting was like clubbing — "I swear I'm on the list! I registered on Thursday! Can I please get my free drink ticket?"

MEGAN: Well, even if they purged you, they have to let you cast a provisional ballot.

LATOYA: Yeah, like someone is going to count those. And those ballots are shady anyway.

MEGAN: Well, I mean, that is the issue. I think, though, if they have purged so many people that the provisionals could make a difference, Obama's lawyers will probably have your back. I saw Recall. God, I love that movie.

LATOYA: One would hope. In good news, it seems that a lot of former felons have been re-enfranchised.

According to advocacy groups, about 5.3 million Americans, or 1 in 41 adults, have lost their right to vote because of a felony conviction.

"The issue here is really if someone should have a permanent scarlet letter on them — if there are certain offenses for which there is no redemption," said Democratic Rep. Steve Cohen, who played a lead role in revising Tennessee's voting law in 2006.

The suffrage laws vary by state and often by felony, with violent crimes incurring greater restrictions. Only two states — Maine and Vermont — permit voting by all felons, including those still in prison. California, along with states such as New York and Colorado, automatically reinstates voting rights to felons once they are released from prison and are off parole.

MEGAN: I think that if you've served your time, you've served your time, you shouldn't have to re-apply for citizenship. But people on probation and parole aren't done repaying their debt to society.

LATOYA: But unfortunately, we're still hating on Native Americans. And, um, Ohio voters.

MEGAN: I mean, there are reliable voting blocs that go Democratic, right? Why does the GOP not try to systematically disenfranchise groups of white people? Why is it always people of color?
Why do they hate your freedom?

LATOYA: Because, obviously, I'm not a real American. Therefore, it is obvious that I should only have fake rights and fake freedoms.