Does anyone read Menage a 3? I love Giselle Lagace's art, but I kindof have a problem with the way sexuality is treated, especially Didi's. I wanna talk to someone about it from a feminist perspective and see what other think.
I feel like the only single person in the world lately. Is it really so? Maybe it's because I'm newly single, my spidey-single-sense is super attuned, but man... Maybe it's the holidays.
It doesn't help that my cousin used to be the third until she decided that she and the guy she's seeing are now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Le sigh :(
My only consolation is that my mom no longer gets on my case about being one of two single girls in the world.
@wtfox?!: Aw, I feel ya. My best friend's fiance got back from deployment two weeks ago, and she has ignored my texts and calls (and apparently those of everyone else) ever since. Obvs, I'm so happy that she's not missing him anymore, but now I miss her!
@jigglyball: Oh, life is just fine. I'm just finishing up grad school and (hopefully!) getting a job some place somewhere else (where ever some school is willing to give me a job). I don't want to have a relationship really muddy the waters (so to speak) in this pretty transitional time in my life.
I hope that things get better for you, both with respect to singledom and with your friend!
@laetitiae: Oh, gotch. Congratulations on finishing grad school! I'm in grad school application hell at the moment, so where you are sounds like heaven. Good luck with the job hunt!
@wtfox?!: Also single after getting out of a couple of serious relationships. I'm trying to do the online thing but it's hard! It's better than nothing though.
But don't worry girl, you're definitely not alone.
@jigglyball: No, I'm perpetually single. Sometimes I get really annoyed reading about people's significant other problems on the open threads. (Mature, I know.) Like once a sentence starts with "my boyfriend and I" I'm like man, at least you're getting sexed.
@AmbiguouslyStraightUno: Oh lord, I too am just off some serious relationships. It's rough. I'm still doing the stupid breakup dance with the most recent ex.
I was supposed to meet up with a new guy tonight, but ended up working until 9 p.m. and took a rain check. But progress, kind of, right?
I've been single for the past few months, and it bites. But I graduate in May, and then I'm moving to God knows where after that so it's not really worth getting in any serious relationships right now.
But I would like to at least make out with somebody once in awhile, y'know?
@meritxell: an erotic life: Me too. I've never been serious with anyone, and am jealous of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships with the comfort and familiarity. I've had opportunities, but didn't meet anyone I really felt boyfriend feelings for. The closest that I've had has been a fling that lasted several months, and I learned intimacy from it, but have no idea who I'd be with in a relationship. I generally like nerdy/artsy guys, but there's a safety/friend zone in that.
@ablative: Oh, I know :) I've been single for a few months, too, and while I love my own company, I miss having the (sometime) partner I had in my last boyfriend.
@meritxell: an erotic life: If there's a boyfriend reference in the first sentence, I skip it. I have come to terms with the fact that I am petty and an asshole.
@Dictator for Life: Fuck 'em. I'm broke, and I'm making Christmas dinner for the family in lieu of gifts. It really doesn't seem worth the time and embarrassment, unless, of course, you're saving to make the large hadron collider sandwich-proof; then, the money is really essential.
@Dictator for Life: I say money is money, and two weeks of somewhat awkwardness could be worth it. That is just my swing on it though.
I'm currently working at a Hickory Farms kiosk..."Sample our beef stick, ma'am?"
@Dictator for Life: If you need the money and it's only seasonal, I think you should stick with it. None of your future employers will give a shit what your manager at a temp job thought of you, and that's what REALLY matters.
@Dictator for Life: I'd either quit now or do it in the two weeks and then spend Christmas at home. If you stay, you will have to schill this soul-sucking credit card and, because you were honest, I mean messed up, you will indeed have a manager standing behind you to make sure you do it properly. This doesn't matter as much if you are just trying to collect a little dough and go home (although it may mean you won't get scheduled for as much time if you aren't up to par--that's how it worked during my 9-month retail stint). Most seasonal workers are let go after New Year's anyhow, so don't feel the need to build a long-term rapport--especially considering that at most of these companies, "giving a reference" to prospective employers is legally limited to confirming that, yes indeed, you did work there form X date to X date. But personally? I'd quit.
Is it okay to be in a relationship for a long time with someone if you're not planning on spending the rest of your life with him? Or is that leading him on?
I love my boyfriend, and he's exactly what I need in my life right now. To this day, hearing his voice makes me happy, giddy, completely lovestruck. But we've been going out for a long while now, and it's not even like I'm not sure if I'll marry him or not -- I know I won't.
The reasons don't have a lot to do with our relationship, per se. In fact, sometimes I think them through and it all sounds like I'm being too selfish or picky. He doesn't get along great with my family, for starters -- something which is really important to me. I want to have biological kids and he's infertile. And he's not stable, economically -- he's convinced that he's going to get this novel of his published and works menial customer service jobs in the meantime.
Am I being too harsh? Should I just love him until I can't anymore?
@eatsshootsleaves: Being picky is basically the same thing as having standards--which is excellent. You know what you want, and the things you described sound very reasonable.
It doesn't really seem fair to just just love him until someone better comes along though. Are you actively looking for someone else?
@eatsshootsleaves: I don't think you're being too harsh. I'm in a relationship where I'm not in love with my boyfriend of 6 months, but we have fun and he knows it's nothing serious. I guess you should probably tell him this though.
@eatsshootsleaves: To this day, hearing his voice makes me happy, giddy, completely lovestruck. I think you just answered your own question. Rich, poor, biological, adopted, it really doesn't matter. You love him.
@eatsshootsleaves: I am almost 40, once divorced, twice married, and I had a similar relationship when I was young - I loved the guy, but we just weren't right for each other; I don't think he would've went off to college of I hadn't broken up with him. We are both now happy in our lives and still respect and like each other. Whatever happens - do what is best for YOU first! And best of luck, whatever you choose.
@eatsshootsleaves: I also replied to your problem twin, but my thought is that as long as he hasn't declared Intention to Nest, you're fine to just enjoy what you have. But I think that once he expresses expectations or desires for the relationship that you don't feel comfortable fulfilling, you will need to talk to him about your lack of enthusiasm. And there's nothing wrong with the I-thought-it-didn't-both-me-but-you-know-it-turns-out-it-really-does approach.
@la.donna.pietra: This is what I think sometimes. But what if I never fall out of love with him? That seems like a nice problem to have, but it really wouldn't be. The problems I mentioned are real and would almost definitely compromise my future happiness. He's the only person I've ever had sex with, and I always thought I would get a chance to shop around, so to speak, and find out what I wanted in a partner.
@angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip: I do try and tell him this, but it's difficult. Because the thing is -- I love him! A lot! More than I've ever loved anyone before! So it's difficult to say, "I love you, and I don't want to break up until I don't love you anymore, which may be a long time in the future. But I don't ever see myself marrying you." Because, well, saying that would hurt our relationship (as well as his feelings, immensely).
@Tippi Hedren: No, I'm not. I don't really have any time to, since I'm always either hanging out with him or my friends. I'm also busy with two jobs and grad school, so if we were to break up, it's unlikely that I'd even be able to find a relationship. This, and the fact that I love him, makes it nearly impossible to break up with him. I've tried to convince myself to do it several times, but I just can't.
Anyway, I think I'm going to take indeedso's advice and stay with him until I stop loving him or he explicitly tells me he wants to marry me. I just hope I don't break this guy's heart. If I ever do, one of you guys should grab him up immediately: he's a great chef, hilarious, and has an eight inch cock.
I read a study once that showed how all animals, even humans, are unable to predict what will make them happy or sad. Or really any emotion.
Sure, we can speculate based on experience (last time I hung out with this person, it made me happy. If I hang out with them again, I will probably be happy again.), but if it's something we haven't experienced before? Can't be predicted.
I have no idea if that study is true or not, nor do I remember where it's from, so I can't reference it. But think about what makes you happy now, what makes you sad now. So if the kids thing is making you sad now, that's an issue. But if you think it will make you sad in the future, that's to deal with then. There are also tons of options for having biological kids with someone who is infertile (I don't know the specifics, but could a sperm donor work?)
Yeah. Again, I have no idea if it's true or not, but from my experience I think it is. And believing it sure has made my life a heck of a lot easier!
@Zombie Ms. Skittles: I feel like cooking as well. We have bananas in the kitchen, and if I wasn't reasonably sure my mother would disown me for using a pan the night before thanksgiving (they are in short supply over here) I would sooooooo be making banana bread. Or cupcakes. or some banana-chocolate confection.
@Blodwynn: The fudge was made in a pot and had it own paper pan and I did a load of dishes after I finished everything that wasn't disposable except for the cookie pan, so I actually am ahead of the curve.
My birthday was last Tuesday and my boyfriend got me some very sweet, thoughtful presents. There's this print I've been meaning to frame, and he took it without me knowing and framed it. The problem is that I really don't like the frame. It's not like he had it professionally framed, he just bought a frame for the print, but I still feel really bad.
I've actually had a frame for the print which I accidentally broke, but I wanted to buy that one. How do I tell him that? Am I a bitch?
@la.donna.pietra: Here's what you do -- buy the frame you want. Buy another print the same size (ideally one that will look good with Ugly Frame). Put print in Good Frame. Fuss over it for a few days, not sure if you like how the arrangement looks, and then have a moment of inspiration when boyfriend is there and switch the frames. Proclaim that it looks perfect, and thank him for his good taste in frames.
Orrrr... you could NOT be as round-about and passive-aggressive as me.
My cat is an asshole. I tried to re-introduce him to my recovered, ex-sick cat who hates him and he would NOT leave her alone. He just likes to play, but he kept trying to pounce on her and she was not having it. Even if I grab him by the scruff, he just looks at me blankly and continues his behavior. Le sigh.
Our old black lab would do that to the retriever (who really only tolerated his presence to begin with) whenever she got back from a day at the groomer's... He'd jump all over her and want to play, and she would growl and try to hide somewhere.
So I have a crush on this boy who lives on the other side of the country. We were co-workers/acquaintances years ago, and then as of late, we've only been Facebook friends. I get a sense that he may be into me (he responds to everything I post, draws me 'graffiti', and tells me that I have a place to stay if ever I'm in his area) but yet he's so very far away. Because I'm the type to project myself very far in the future, I tell myself that I could see myself living where he is eventually, as it is closer to my family and friends than I am now. So last night I wrote him a letter, like a real, paper letter (I have his address because I sent him art last year). In the letter, it mentions briefly, "I've kinda developed a little crush on you". Should I send it? What am I getting myself into?
@poires et poireaux: I second that. Do it! It couldn't hurt, honestly. As long as you're nice and don't seem desperate, worst case scenario it's briefly awkward and you both get over it. Best case scenario... who knows?
Does anyone else feel like the relationship between bosses and employees has changed because of technology? My boss is 12 years older than me and maybe it's because he's a geek, but we pretty much just text each other for things ("Are you coming in today?", or "I'm sick!") whereas in any other job I'd think you'd have to call. Maybe it's just because my office is pretty casual, but sometimes it blows my mind.
@angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip: My boss can't even figure out how to check his voicemail (or his cruise control for that matter) and if I said "text" to him he would have no idea what I was talking about, but coworkers and I text each other nasty things about a certain coworker while in the office because it is small and we can't talk about him there. It usually involves a lot of swearing about him.
@angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip: It's not quite the same thing, but I have the cell phone numbers for two of my favorite professors, and I don't hesitate to text them whatsoever.
@Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.: Same here; I have phone numbers for all my music teacher (Public and Private) as well as e-mail addresses for all my core teachers in school.
so, just out of curiosity, who is making what for Thanksgiving?
I'm responsible for cornbread muffins, green bean casserole and cranberry-pear-raspberry chutney. All from scratch, of course. And I'm making brownies tonight just for the heck of it.
I kind of hate falling into the stereotype, but I really am happiest in the kitchen.
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: The crazy thing is that I HATE cooking and baking, but i do so very much of it, because no one will do it for me. And I love good food.
I'm making my special turkey, with white wine gravy. And chocolate molten lava cakes. Roasted brussel sprouts, apple galette, sweet potato fries with cumin. And cranberry something, I haven't figured out what yet.
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I'm responsible for pretty much everything except the turkey and the stuffing: carrots, green beans, mashed potatoes, sweet potato fries, and whatever else may come up. I also made brownies today!
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I love cooking but was told not to really bring anything. I am helping my mom with the salad by candying some walnuts and pecans and slicing some red onions.
But I'm so up in the air about stuffing. I have this instant vegetarian stuffing but I'm afraid if I bring it to the meal, my relatives will be annoyed. So I think I'm going to wait and just eat it with the boyfriend that night.
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I'm just cooking for myself tomorrow, but for most big family dinners I make everything while my brothers watch (again stereotypes). I have food allergies so it is easier for me to control and so I can avoid the Christmas 2008 disaster where no one made anything that was my-allergy-free. Whoops.
curiousgeorgiana promoted this comment
foregoneconclusion, battles the pink robots was starred
foregoneconclusion, battles the pink robots was unstarred
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I'm making a dish with roasted garlic, green beans and shiitake mushrooms. My sister is making a tiny crockpot-sized ham because her husband won't eat turkey. My mom is making the turkey, a Quorn turk'y roast for me, mashed potatoes, apple pie, pecan pie, and stuffing (with and without giblets). My brother is choosing the wine, (and hopefully I can convince my mom to let me drink beer because I don't like wine).
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I made cornbread tonight; I wanted to make it vegan, but my mother absolutely FREAKED OUT about it being "vegan and weird" and hovered around until I got some eggs out.
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I'm making baked ziti (vegetarian and dead critter) and bourbon pecan pie. There was going to be spinach dip, but we wussed out on going to the store.
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: Tempeh with mushroom gravy (gravy bought fresh from whole foods); mashed potatoes; arugula salad with apples, goat cheese, and homemade apple cider/dijon vinaigrette, stuffing (my recipe) with ciabatta, apples, raisins, carrots, celery, spices, nuts; rosemary bread; pumpkin pie creme brulee (recipe on epicurious). I'm making it all myself except for the bread and the gravy. It's just me and my husband so it's all we're eating until Monday probably. I do all the cooking but I don't touch the dishes. And I make my husband peel.
@scarletbegonia: It's not mine, it's Martha Stewart's! o_O It was so super easy to make and when I tasted it, I was just like, what? did I make this? this isn't from a jar? I recommend it!
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: My family doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, but I've always wanted to, because I love cooking and I love feasting! Also this year my birthday happens to fall on Thanksgiving, so I get my way :-) My family is vegetarian so I'm cooking a squash cheese casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, spicy roasted carrots & sweet potatoes, and cheddar biscuits.
@Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini: I'm in the UK but a bunch of my American friends have decided to do thanksgiving. I've got a recipe for chilli cheese cornbread here, which I am deeply excited about, but I have to crank out enough of it to feed about 20 people (well, 14 people, but one of them is a rugby player who eats for four and looooves cornbread). And go to a seminar right before dinner that I don't really want to sit through, but my supervisor caught me unawares and made me promise to go...
I love my family, but I am SO GLAD that it's just going to be me and my husband tomorrow. It's just a relief to not have to deal with anything, you know? And I feel guilty for saying that but you ladies won't tell anyone, will you?
@Tippi Hedren: I just told your in-laws. I also told them what you said about you know who in regards to you know what, and let me tell you, Somebody's in Trouble!!!
I'm doing Thanksgiving with 12 of my closest friends. My dad is in the area but I told him he couldn't come because we have a 'no-family' rule. Felt guilty about it for a bit, but we've been doing this for the last six years and it will be the last year with all of us in the same town. So, while I love family, this is a holiday for friends and the loved-ones we choose. :)
I played this game today (free flash game) and I kind of liked it. I mean, it was challenging and the music was pretty, but it was so ridiculously emo.
02:53 AM
[www.menagea3.net]
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It doesn't help that my cousin used to be the third until she decided that she and the guy she's seeing are now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Le sigh :(
My only consolation is that my mom no longer gets on my case about being one of two single girls in the world.
12:20 AM
Single lady over here, too.
I'm in general not the relationship type. And it's a bad time in my life right now for one.
Do miss sex, though.
12:21 AM
12:25 AM
Sorry life's rough in general right now.
12:29 AM
I hope that things get better for you, both with respect to singledom and with your friend!
12:34 AM
I'll be honest, I'm kind of over it. I've spent about 95% of the last four years as a single person.
Clearly, I must be repulsive.
12:40 AM
12:40 AM
But don't worry girl, you're definitely not alone.
12:46 AM
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I was supposed to meet up with a new guy tonight, but ended up working until 9 p.m. and took a rain check. But progress, kind of, right?
01:24 AM
I've been single for the past few months, and it bites. But I graduate in May, and then I'm moving to God knows where after that so it's not really worth getting in any serious relationships right now.
But I would like to at least make out with somebody once in awhile, y'know?
01:34 AM
01:44 AM
Are you finishing up undergrad?
#tips
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12:05 AM
11/25/09
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I'm currently working at a Hickory Farms kiosk..."Sample our beef stick, ma'am?"
12:09 AM
12:11 AM
11/25/09
I love my boyfriend, and he's exactly what I need in my life right now. To this day, hearing his voice makes me happy, giddy, completely lovestruck. But we've been going out for a long while now, and it's not even like I'm not sure if I'll marry him or not -- I know I won't.
The reasons don't have a lot to do with our relationship, per se. In fact, sometimes I think them through and it all sounds like I'm being too selfish or picky. He doesn't get along great with my family, for starters -- something which is really important to me. I want to have biological kids and he's infertile. And he's not stable, economically -- he's convinced that he's going to get this novel of his published and works menial customer service jobs in the meantime.
Am I being too harsh? Should I just love him until I can't anymore?
11/25/09
It doesn't really seem fair to just just love him until someone better comes along though. Are you actively looking for someone else?
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12:03 AM
@angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip: I do try and tell him this, but it's difficult. Because the thing is -- I love him! A lot! More than I've ever loved anyone before! So it's difficult to say, "I love you, and I don't want to break up until I don't love you anymore, which may be a long time in the future. But I don't ever see myself marrying you." Because, well, saying that would hurt our relationship (as well as his feelings, immensely).
@Tippi Hedren: No, I'm not. I don't really have any time to, since I'm always either hanging out with him or my friends. I'm also busy with two jobs and grad school, so if we were to break up, it's unlikely that I'd even be able to find a relationship. This, and the fact that I love him, makes it nearly impossible to break up with him. I've tried to convince myself to do it several times, but I just can't.
Anyway, I think I'm going to take indeedso's advice and stay with him until I stop loving him or he explicitly tells me he wants to marry me. I just hope I don't break this guy's heart. If I ever do, one of you guys should grab him up immediately: he's a great chef, hilarious, and has an eight inch cock.
12:43 AM
I read a study once that showed how all animals, even humans, are unable to predict what will make them happy or sad. Or really any emotion.
Sure, we can speculate based on experience (last time I hung out with this person, it made me happy. If I hang out with them again, I will probably be happy again.), but if it's something we haven't experienced before? Can't be predicted.
I have no idea if that study is true or not, nor do I remember where it's from, so I can't reference it. But think about what makes you happy now, what makes you sad now. So if the kids thing is making you sad now, that's an issue. But if you think it will make you sad in the future, that's to deal with then. There are also tons of options for having biological kids with someone who is infertile (I don't know the specifics, but could a sperm donor work?)
Yeah. Again, I have no idea if it's true or not, but from my experience I think it is. And believing it sure has made my life a heck of a lot easier!
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
My birthday was last Tuesday and my boyfriend got me some very sweet, thoughtful presents. There's this print I've been meaning to frame, and he took it without me knowing and framed it. The problem is that I really don't like the frame. It's not like he had it professionally framed, he just bought a frame for the print, but I still feel really bad.
I've actually had a frame for the print which I accidentally broke, but I wanted to buy that one. How do I tell him that? Am I a bitch?
11/25/09
11/25/09
Orrrr... you could NOT be as round-about and passive-aggressive as me.
12:11 AM
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11/25/09
Our old black lab would do that to the retriever (who really only tolerated his presence to begin with) whenever she got back from a day at the groomer's... He'd jump all over her and want to play, and she would growl and try to hide somewhere.
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#groupthink
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Me and my coworkers however? We text each other all the time. Even though the boss has a strict "no cell phone" policy. We ignore it (obviously).
11/25/09
I'm responsible for cornbread muffins, green bean casserole and cranberry-pear-raspberry chutney. All from scratch, of course. And I'm making brownies tonight just for the heck of it.
I kind of hate falling into the stereotype, but I really am happiest in the kitchen.
11/25/09
I'm making my special turkey, with white wine gravy. And chocolate molten lava cakes. Roasted brussel sprouts, apple galette, sweet potato fries with cumin. And cranberry something, I haven't figured out what yet.
11/25/09
11/25/09
I'm making broccoli cheese casserole and an apple pie.
I'm also thinking of making a cranberry polenta cake thing that Mark Bittman suggested in the NYT recently: [www.nytimes.com]
11/25/09
But I'm so up in the air about stuffing. I have this instant vegetarian stuffing but I'm afraid if I bring it to the meal, my relatives will be annoyed. So I think I'm going to wait and just eat it with the boyfriend that night.
11/25/09
Your chutney sounds awesome!
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We don't do tradition in the pietra household.
11/25/09
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#tips
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#tips
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#tips
04:53 AM
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I'm doing Thanksgiving with 12 of my closest friends. My dad is in the area but I told him he couldn't come because we have a 'no-family' rule. Felt guilty about it for a bit, but we've been doing this for the last six years and it will be the last year with all of us in the same town. So, while I love family, this is a holiday for friends and the loved-ones we choose. :)
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Though I do miss my mother-in-law's chestnut stuffing.
11/25/09
[armorgames.com]
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