I have two friends who did research on how MSN affects the social lives of 8-15 year olds. Their conclusion: it strengthens ties they already have with some friends and facilitates creating new relationships.
I'd imagine this goes for other sites/applications as well
It's sort of funny, as I write this I'm in a house with about 17 other people who I met on the internet. We came together from all over (N. Carolina, New York, Indiana, Mexico, Canada, Norway, Italy, England and Scotland) for this week in Chicago and rented a place and have been having a very good time.
Most of us had never met in person before this point but we've attended the same sites for so long that when we first saw each other it was as meeting old friends after many years. I mean, we're all fuckin' geeks, obviously, so we're relatively awkward in general, but I don't think the fact that the vast majority of our relationships take place online diminishes them.
However there is, I think, a certain threshold that can be passed only through meeting and internet friend in person - An internet friend can move and lose a connection or have a change in life priorities or just time allowed on the net, and your relationship to that person can change dramatically. It can end pretty abruptly in some cases. I think physical proximity really is a very significant factor in the vitality of relationships. But it's not the only one.
I think my real-world social life is enhanced by social networking. I meet a friend of a friend in person once, and we can keep in touch on facebook or whatever instead of taking the more forward step of calling each other after meeting just once. In face, I just had a semi-date with a guy I "got to know" that way.
Being raised on the internet, and after discovering facebook, I no longer leave my house. My diet consists of stale cheetos and Diet Dr. Pepper; my skin is a pale white from having never seen the sun. When my friends do venture inside the sanctity of my cave, they are not allowed to talk to me, and must communicate through Facebook or AIM, as I can no longer understand anything that is not written.
I also eat raw fish and my one true love is a magical ring. Hisss! My preciousssss...
For me, at least, the internet is a huge positive in terms of improving communication. The Archbishop appears to overlook the fact that many young people travel more than previous generations, and even the most excruciatingly awkward of us do make a friend or two while doing so. There is a great value in being able to have real-time communication and updates vs letters that take weeks to arrive, and the internet and especially social networking sites provide this. It was the urging of my Australian friends after I came back to the US that finally got me on facebook.
I also agree with your point, Hortense, that the internet has helped me learn to read people better, not worse. Part of my life is "a clinicial impairment in social skills" (Asperger's syndrome) and I am much more fluent, fluid, and expressive in text than I am in person. Having the ability to talk with friends after outings in my preferred medium--a text-based one--and go over what sucked and what went well has made everyone's lives better in my circle.
I have made a number of valuable relationships online, including my girlfriend (whom I've known for almost 10 years online, now, and met in person in 2006 after we'd been dating long-distance for 2 years). I've also made a few bad moves, with people who were drama queens and sucked up energy and time uselessly. You learn to avoid them, just like in "real" life.
I find this periodic "O noes teh intarwebs is ruinin teh childrenz!" tedious and the regular defenses those of us who genuinely enjoy our time on the internet must put forward even more tedious.
Sorry if this posts twice... technical difficulties!
To some extent I see the Archbishop's point, though. I'm in my mid-20s and didn't grow up with online bullying the way some people a decade younger have, and I rely heavily on social networking sites to keep in touch with friends on multiple continents. But I've been known to use facebook to monitor obsessively the movements of friends--to look at photo albums of events I wasn't invited to, see who's writing on other walls and not on mine. It's stupid and self-flagellating, but online social networking makes it much easier and more tempting.
In high school all I could do was wonder who was talking to someone else behind my back over the phone in the evenings. I can't imagine having those horrible teenage over-emotional fears and seeing them realised online. I happen to think the online world is more of a relfection of the real one than many worried 'adult' types say (after all, I may have 500 facebook friends I barely know, but I don't communicate with them regularly the way I do with my close friends), but I think it can refract and magnify real-world problems as well.
Like almost everything, there are good aspects and bad.
The good is that social networking lets me get in touch with friends who live halfway across the country, and so I would otherwise never see. In addition, it gives me a way to connect professionally with other writers that I wouldn't have otherwise had.
The bad side is that I've found that sustained interaction and conversation, like on the phone or through email or face to face, have all but evaporated.
So it's like, as the quantity and accessibility of communication increased, the quality of that communication decreased.
I think it's fine as long as it's incorporated into previously existing ways of socializing. It only becomes an issue when it replaces all of it. Which I have seen happen, and it is sad.
I like the site. It's a personal tumblr page for goodness sakes. S/he isn't claiming cute guys are eye-candy for girls only, or anything that seems to pigeonhole people. In fact I think it's nice that pictures of men being tender are being celebrated.
08/03/09
I'd imagine this goes for other sites/applications as well
08/03/09
Most of us had never met in person before this point but we've attended the same sites for so long that when we first saw each other it was as meeting old friends after many years. I mean, we're all fuckin' geeks, obviously, so we're relatively awkward in general, but I don't think the fact that the vast majority of our relationships take place online diminishes them.
However there is, I think, a certain threshold that can be passed only through meeting and internet friend in person - An internet friend can move and lose a connection or have a change in life priorities or just time allowed on the net, and your relationship to that person can change dramatically. It can end pretty abruptly in some cases. I think physical proximity really is a very significant factor in the vitality of relationships. But it's not the only one.
08/03/09
08/02/09
I also eat raw fish and my one true love is a magical ring. Hisss! My preciousssss...
08/02/09
I also agree with your point, Hortense, that the internet has helped me learn to read people better, not worse. Part of my life is "a clinicial impairment in social skills" (Asperger's syndrome) and I am much more fluent, fluid, and expressive in text than I am in person. Having the ability to talk with friends after outings in my preferred medium--a text-based one--and go over what sucked and what went well has made everyone's lives better in my circle.
I have made a number of valuable relationships online, including my girlfriend (whom I've known for almost 10 years online, now, and met in person in 2006 after we'd been dating long-distance for 2 years). I've also made a few bad moves, with people who were drama queens and sucked up energy and time uselessly. You learn to avoid them, just like in "real" life.
I find this periodic "O noes teh intarwebs is ruinin teh childrenz!" tedious and the regular defenses those of us who genuinely enjoy our time on the internet must put forward even more tedious.
08/02/09
To some extent I see the Archbishop's point, though. I'm in my mid-20s and didn't grow up with online bullying the way some people a decade younger have, and I rely heavily on social networking sites to keep in touch with friends on multiple continents. But I've been known to use facebook to monitor obsessively the movements of friends--to look at photo albums of events I wasn't invited to, see who's writing on other walls and not on mine. It's stupid and self-flagellating, but online social networking makes it much easier and more tempting.
In high school all I could do was wonder who was talking to someone else behind my back over the phone in the evenings. I can't imagine having those horrible teenage over-emotional fears and seeing them realised online. I happen to think the online world is more of a relfection of the real one than many worried 'adult' types say (after all, I may have 500 facebook friends I barely know, but I don't communicate with them regularly the way I do with my close friends), but I think it can refract and magnify real-world problems as well.
08/02/09
The good is that social networking lets me get in touch with friends who live halfway across the country, and so I would otherwise never see. In addition, it gives me a way to connect professionally with other writers that I wouldn't have otherwise had.
The bad side is that I've found that sustained interaction and conversation, like on the phone or through email or face to face, have all but evaporated.
So it's like, as the quantity and accessibility of communication increased, the quality of that communication decreased.
I think it's fine as long as it's incorporated into previously existing ways of socializing. It only becomes an issue when it replaces all of it. Which I have seen happen, and it is sad.
04/03/09
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Or that, although maybe that goes beyond "cute" and into "rrar" territory. Further research is required.
04/03/09
This is all kinds of awesome. I'm squeeing at the kitten and drooling at the man. :D
*sigh* I need to grow up...
04/03/09
04/03/09
When did that happen. Maybe I should become one of those celebrity-baby watchers to avoid this kind of surprise.
04/03/09
*cries*