Well, maybe it's not your worst flying fear — that probably involves a plane full of babies and fire balls — but it's pretty damn awful. And infuriating. And dehumanizing. I could go on but instead, I'll let an allegedly former TSA agent do it for me.
The Transportation Security Administration has surpassed "mothers-in-law" as the thing about which Americans most love to bitch. But unlike mothers-in-law, the TSA will never make you a hot meal, and they'll certainly never make sure you have clean towels and sheets when you come to visit because Lord knows the gals…
There's a new front in the drug war: the female scalp. Yes, intrepid ladies are now sneaking yayo into the country under their weaves ... and they woulda gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that stinkin' customs patdown.
An Oregon man who stripped naked in protest of what he considered invasive search procedures is not guilty of criminal dick wagging, ruled a judge. He was protesting, and protesting is a protected first amendment right. Do you realize what this means? We can ALL take our pants off wherever we want as long as we say…
At this point, it's beginning to seem like the TSA needs to create a new agency—the Dignity Protection Administration—whose sole job is just to stand next to TSA agents and make sure they don't do anything dumb. One thing that the DPA could do, for instance, is prevent TSA agents from opening jars containing people's…
Today in perversely satisfying news: A 59-year-old woman was going through security at Southwest Florida International Airport when she threw down her bags and theatrically groped a TSA supervisor's crotch. The woman, Carol Jean Price, says she was just demonstrating the aggressive groping she'd just received from a…
A new app will allow people to report alleged racial profiling by the TSA in real time.
Complaints of TSA agents getting way too up close and personal while searching passengers have sprung up from virtually every corner of society. Supermodel Bar Refaeli recently took to her Twitter account to say she'd been felt up by one agent, and Rep. Francisco Canseco publicly accused the TSA of assault after he…
Just as male politicians attempting to enact legislation that governs the "intrapants marital familiarity area" seem incapable of saying the word "vagina," so too do our terrorism-fighting friends in the Transportation Security Administration. It seems that as they're combing America's walkers, wheelchairs, and…
There are plenty of reasons to dislike the TSA—any organization that hates cupcakes as much as they do should certainly be given some serious side eye. But one traveler got so fed up with them bothering him that in a burst of rage he got naked in the security line at the airport in protest. It's like when the…
This week, the Supreme Court ruled that it was perfectly within the rights of police officers to strip search every person arrested for every offense, even if they had no reason to believe the arrested person was carrying any contraban. The majority opinion reasoned that strip searching was necessary to protect the…
In another shining moment in airport security history, a TSA agent at Kauai's Lihue Airport last week refused to let a woman bring her breast pump through security because the milk bottles were empty. Amy Strand, of Maui, was traveling with her 9-month old daughter and was carrying the electric pump. She was told she…
Several women who flew through Dallas/Fort Worth's airport have filed complaints against the TSA claiming that officials asked them to walk through the body scanners multiple times. Why would female agents do such a thing? So the male agents viewing the scans could get a better look at their bodies. Ew.
Back in December, Transportation Security Administration officials caught some flack for forcing a couple of little old ladies at JFK airport to partially disrobe and show screeners their colostomy bags. Now, they'd like those two elderly grandmothers to know they're very sorry.
In a blog post today the TSA defended its actions in "cupcakegate," saying that the icing in a cupcake in a jar is considered a gel, and could be a cleverly disguised explosive. The post continued:
If you're planning to fly this week, don't even think about packing a dessert to make the trip less hellish. Rebecca Hains says that last week a TSA agent at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas seized her red velvet cupcake, which was baked inside an 8 ounce jar. "He explained to me that the frosting…
TSA agents are aware that we all thinks they're jerks, so as part of their campaign to convince Americans that they can be our kind of cool big brother, they let a dude keep his rather large supply of weed. Rapper Freddie Gibbs Tweeted a photo of the drug in question along with a note of inspection that reads, "C'mon…
In just the past few months, the TSA has come under fire for subjecting elderly women to humiliating (alleged) strip searches and complimenting passengers on their sex toys. Things have gotten so bad that even the TSA admits it needs to reform its policies, but instead of targeting how the agents conduct searches,…
Over the weekend, Lenore Zimmerman reported that on a recent flight from Florida back to her home in New York, TSA agents forced her to pull down her pants and underwear. Apparently, airport officials singled out the Florida to New York route for some special holiday harassment this year, because now two more women…
TSA screening is never fun for anyone, but one 84-year-old grandmother claims she had an especially bad experience. Lenore Zimmerman, of Long Island, was flying to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, when she says she was strip searched by TSA agents at JFK Airport.
