And if you're interested, here's the interview.


Even though they're "breaking up" on TV, Hailey keeps laughing.


Tomorrow, Jon storms out.

At the beginning of his first group "date," on a boat, a lady named Heather threw up. The ship hadn't even left the dock yet.

During the cruise, Malissa and Luke had an intimate moment, and a little kissing sesh. Malissa said that Luke makes her feel like a "size 2 supermodel." What does that even mean? Like you're wearing Balenciaga and jumping for Vogue? Are we really supposed to buy that this man makes her feel beautiful or thinner?

The problem with Luke is that he's the kind of guy who says "her body is bangin'." Meanwhile, the misty-eyed women on this show are saying romantic stuff like, "I feel butterflies." They're getting emotional; he's getting a hard-on.

But the absolute worst part of the episode had to be that the third group date was at a pool. Of course the producers wanted to show overweight women in swimsuits.

Hoping to make everyone feel more comfortable, Luke suggested they head for the bar first. Because what's better than being on TV in your swimsuit than being on TV in your swimsuit while drunk?

Really, he's the luckiest guy in America: He's living in a mansion with 20 women — well, 15, as he kicked out 5 he didn't like — he admits are "just his type." Oh, the world might find these women fat, but they still weigh around 100 pounds less than Luke does. This show mentions again and again that it's what's inside that counts, yet each contestant was chosen on appearances: How big they are. And their appearance is what Luke likes about them: He's a "chubby chaser"; big women are his favorite. Also, every time the womens' names came on the screen, so did their height and weight. Charming.

Luke gave each lady in the house a diamond ring, which had some hearing angels. Even though every chick got a ring, one woman said getting one "made her feel special." Later the rings were taken away, and only 15 got the rings back.

But first: Alcohol-assisted partying. Ladies did shots. One woman jumped into the pool with her evening dress on and proclaimed it was "Luke warm." There was an obligatory mention of Spanx, and shots of women eating. Within the first 10 minutes of the show, we heard the words "fat," "plus size," "big boned," and "I want to bake a pie for my man." When one young lady who told Luke, "I'm a rocket scientist," he replied, "That's intimidating." She was not one of the 15 chosen ones.

Anna, who, at 5'11", can look 6'3" Luke in the eyes, was chosen — perhaps because she was coerced in to kissing him?

Nervous nellie Melissa, 21, was also chosen, but her self-esteem is so fragile she believes this is her "one chance" at love.

This blond Melissa was also chosen and also coerced into kissing Luke.

The worst part of the show was having to watch shot after shot of women with tears in their eyes as they spoke about their terrible love lives. The fact that Luke is "in heaven" surrounded by voluptuous ladies — some with shaky self-esteem — is great for him, but you end up feeling horrible for the women. You can't help but wish that each of them could get to go to a mansion and be surrounded by 20 curve-loving men. Because those guys are out there! And you want to root for these women — not for Luke, who just ends up looks like a greedy kid at a buffet… one of the worst stereotypes about the overweight.

I'm not going to front like I didn't know who Kendra Wilkinson was until I had to watch her show last night to write about it here today. I get sick sometimes and go to the doctor and read US Weekly in the waiting room just like everyone else. And I walk by the newsstand sometimes and see US Weekly and impulsively buy US Weekly just like everyone else. And I had a subscription to US Weekly for two years until it recently lapsed and I forgot to renew it just like everyone else. But, while I totally watch trash TV all the time with no apologies (and even have a standing Bachelorette-watching party. Finale tonight, guys! Go Kiptyn!) I had somehow managed to aggressively ignore the apparent reality phenomenon that is Kendra Wilkinson until last night.

Here's what I knew about Kendra Wilkinson before watching last night's episode: Kendra was one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends and was on his show The Girls Next Door. Kendra broke up with Hugh Hefner and "broke his heart" supposedly. Kendra likes The Olive Garden. Kendra recently got married and the pictures from her wedding were knocked off the cover of US Weekly by Michael Jackson's death. Kendra is pregnant. Kendra has blond hair. This is what I knew. (And it's actually kind of a lot! Scary!)

Now, having watched last night's episode, ("Preggers Can't Be Choosers"), I know that Kendra's future husband is a football player of some kind, and that they haven't been together for very long. That worries Kendra's mother, who threw a FIT when Kendra announced to her at a surprise bridal shower that she is pregnant. Which was odd to me, because we're talking about a woman whose daughter until recently lived in a house with a very old man where she walked around naked all day along with the other very young ladies who comprised this old pathetic man's harem of disposable girlfriends. Maybe the mother also had a problem with that, who knows, but it seems like, with all they've surely been through in Kendra's brief 23 years on this earth, a pre-wedding pregnancy announcement should not be cause for the huge family rift the show tried to make us believe happened.

So after a long time (probably two hours) of Kendra's mother not talking to her, Kendra's future husband, Hank, made the mature and wise choice to call the mother and get her to come over and talk about things. So Kendra's mother, grandmother, and brother, Turtle from Entourage, came over and talked for five minutes and everything was solved. Kendra's mother tried to make it all about her and her life as a single mother, even though that doesn't apply, but Kendra's (adorable) grandmother made everyone smile when she expressed her desire to live long enough to hold her great-grandchild, even though she is practically the same age as my mom.

As we all know, there are three stages in every pregnancy:

Stage 1: Mollifying the angry-for-no-reason narcissistic future Grandmother
Stage 2: Feeling so barfy that you can only eat Froot Loops.
Stage 3: Calling Hugh Hefner to tell him you're pregnant.

Last night, all three stages came to pass, and Kendra and Hank called Hugh Hefner (whose receptionist said "Maybe he's up in the office" even though he had to know Hef was there because there was a film crew there to tape Hef picking up the phone for Kendra's call, but whatever) and told him the news. Hank looked SO THRILLED to be watching his future wife and mother of his child calling up the old man who dragged her around by her extensions like a rag doll since she was a teenager, to share this news, but he got through it because what else was he gonna do. Poor guy. Please don't forget to mutter "That's what she said" under your breath after Kendra's last declaration in this segment. If not, the world will explode. Clip above.

Luke Conley, the bachelor in question, is a 26-year-old former college offensive lineman and "ham by nature." He's 6-foot-3 and 330 pounds. He's apt to utter lines like "If she's got a big behind, she's a friend of mine." He saw a Craigslist ad seeking men who love full-figured women, and sent an e-mail which began, "Sugar, look no further. I am the man for you!"

(Even though two other guys were being considered for the show, they were ditched and Luke got the job. Executive producer SallyAnn Salsano says: "We all fell in love with Luke because he is so genuine. He makes the girls feel comfortable.")

The thing about Luke is that he seems like he is genuinely in it to find a girlfriend, or a wife. "Coming into this thing, I had hopes of meeting someone special, but I knew it's such a short amount of time to get to know someone," he says. On the day that the LA Times is present, he makes out with three or four women. Which is not to say that he's not sincere: Despite being prodded and questioned by producers, Luke says:

"The difficult part has been having to talk so much about what I'm feeling… I usually like to spend a lot of time in thought and process things before I just open and verbalize them. I feel that words are very powerful, so I want to choose them correctly."

But even if it seems like Luke Conley's heart is in the right place, what about the network? Home of My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and The Littlest Groom? The Fox network + plus-size contestants = cringe.

Executive producer Mike Fleiss swears the tone is different from his other show, The Bachelor: "The Bachelor is about beautiful people living a beautiful life and hopefully finding a beautiful love," he explains. "This show is like a sporting event. You're rooting for someone to find love." So… Not beautiful? Just sweaty, and messy, like football or wrestling?

This article in the Independent claims that "Fatsploitation" TV in the UK only fuels the obesity crisis, making fat a "sideshow curiosity." The way fat people are portrayed can lead to "societal fat phobia" — people who would never make racist or sexist remarks end up saying prejudiced things about the overweight.

Fox President Mike Darnell says: "I'm really, really excited about this show. It's amazing, when you think of 50 or 60 iterations, that nobody's ever tried the simple idea to make it real women and a real guy rather than fake actors or wanna-be models, which is really what it's been up to this point." Amazing? Not sure about that. It's not surprising, really, given the way overweight people are treated in the media, that they would be neglected from being allowed to participate in a dating show. Fatties allowed to love or be loved? Madness! But what would be even more amazing? If these "real" people, these overweight singles with "more to love" were actually allowed to compete alongside slender people, instead of being segregated into a ghetto of a plus-size show. Do they have cooties or something? Let's face it, the show is a gimmick, right? You're tuning in not for love, but for fat, and the title reminds you that the people on the show are packing something extra. How is it not exploitation? Won't we just see a lineup of fat, single ladies desperate for a man, competing for his attention? Of course, Luke may be the show's saving grace, since he actually likes larger women (as many men, both slender and large, do). And the women aren't the only ones with something to lose. Luke says:

"I'm hoping that when I put my heart on the line that I don't end up being heartbroken because I am planning on making myself vulnerable to a special woman at the end of this whole thing."

A Bachelor Looks For 'More To Love' [LA Times]
Unhealthy Appetite: Is 'Fatsploitation' Fuelling The Obesity Crisis? [Independent]
Related: The Reality Of TV Dating Shows [LA Times]

Right before this happened, there was footage of rehearsal, in which her dance partner demanded, "let me see your MILF face."





Classy, it is not. Then again, most reality shows aren't. But between the close-ups of the contestants eating, the public weigh-ins, and the insane costumes, it just seems like they're treated with an utter lack of dignity. Maybe that's expecting too much, but I saw a ReTweet on Diablo Cody's Twitter which read, "You never see Skinny People Eat Your Weight Soul Train Scramble Board Celebrity Challenge." It just feels like the overweight are being portrayed as buffoons, one of the oldest tropes in the world.

But maybe I'm wrong, and what's going on in the clip below is actually uplifting:

Most of the women on this show have hard exteriors, which they admit contributes to a lot of their attitudes about fighting, their defensiveness, and in some cases, excessive drinking. When Bubbles revealed that she'd been molested, many of the women said that they had similar experiences in their pasts. They all came to a better understanding of each other — for this episode at least — and comforted one another in a rare but much-needed act of solidarity.

VH1 does not bleep out the word when it is first uttered, or when Ricki Lake talks about the incident, but bizarrely, when Ashley is rehashing the conversation in an interview segment, it is bleeped. Ashley was clearly using "retarded" in a very literal, and offensive, sense, but no matter where you stand on the issue in general, you can't deny the irony of the typo within the subtitle of that screen shot.

Yes, the "cougar" lady participating on this shitshow - who, by the way, is 40 - says it is "really empowering" to have all of these guys vying for her attention. As Haskins points out, "Age ain't nothing but a number. A really awkward number." But! As Barbara Kantrowitz and Pat Wingert ask in Newsweek, "Do 50-year-old women really want the sex life they had at age 25?" No one cares! They're too busy making up animal names with which they can describe the chicks — er, LADIES. Clip below.

Sarah Haskins in Target Women: The Cougar [Current]
Counter-Cougar Thinking [Newsweek]
Earlier: Sarah Haskins: "Laundry. It's The Woman's Drug Of Choice"
Sarah Haskins On Michelle Obama's Arms: Welcome To The Pun Show
Sarah Haskins Tackles Tough Love
Sarah Haskins Helps Women Name Their Lady Parts
Sarah Haskins Explains The Sheer Evil Of Carl's Jr. Ads
Sarah Haskins Learns Valuable Lessons From Busty Blonde: Barbie
Sarah Haskins Overwhelmed By Oscars "Ex-Plosion"
Sarah Haskins Calls Out Jez Commenters
New Year, New You: Sarah Haskins Teaches You How To Diet
Sarah Haskins Wishes You Happy Period Control
Diamonds Are Not Sarah Haskins' Best Friend
Sarah Haskins Worries That Ann Curry's Life Is In Danger
Car Commercials Drive Sarah Haskins Crazy
Sarah Haskins Takes On The Disney Princesses
Sarah Haskins: Fiber Is Secret Code For Making You Poop
Condoms, Cleaning Supplies & Crap: A Q&A With Sarah Haskins

Last week, Ricki eliminated Kiki, a former cast member from Real Chance of Love. (Kiki's interview on VH1 Blog sheds some light on how she feels about this, saying that she's "pissed off.") Some of the contestants felt that, by doing this, Ricki was playing favorites toward the white women. In addition, the Real Chance girls were upset that Ashley (from Rock of Love Bus) called them "ghetto." In this clip, the entire group attempts to address these issues head-on.

The women on the show - the contestants or new host Ricki Lake - aren't saying (or aren't shown saying) that there is a black vs. white thing going on, but it really doesn't matter because the fighting is like a Matryoshka doll, where there is always something else nested within (e.g. drinkers vs. light drinkers, weaves vs. bad weaves, loud vs. quiet). While it's not exactly the light-hearted "fun" that Charm School had been in its previous two seasons — when stupid insults were thrown around while someone was being filmed sitting on the toilet and someone else was being filmed puking while her friends held her hair back — it'll be interesting to see how this unfolds.

Nikki, aka DJ Lady Tribe, said that someone that she "met" put her in rehab, and she experienced "two weeks having fun sober," although it would seem from her demeanor at the reunion that she's returned to having fun in other ways. You should really read this behind-the-scenes at the reunion recap. Apparently, Brittanya doesn't know what "philosophy" means, a few girls got new weaves (some better than others), and Brittaney really does have an African-American grandfather.

Touch My Backstage Pass…And Take A Shot Out Of It: Behind The Scenes At The Rock Of Love Bus Reunion [VH1 Blog]
Earlier: The Most Amazing Display Of Drunken Sexuality In Reality TV History

While Amber's initial reaction to the incident seemed to be carefree and compliant, she admitted that she uses humor to mask uncomfortable situations.

We're not thrilled, but also not surprised, to learn about Playboy's foray into reality TV. There is a certain logic to the idea - if people want to watch women fight endlessly and embarrass themselves continually on Bad Girls Club, certainly some viewers would prefer to see the same stuff from completely nude contestants. Gary Rosenson, senior vice president of sales and marketing at Playboy TV said: ""Mainstream reality TV tries to be sexy but in the end, the best parts are either blurred, bleeped or blocked." Playboy plans to play up their "no eliminations, no immunity, no shutting off cameras" angle in order to attract new viewers. [Media Daily News]