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Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"

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cate3710
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
Also - just a quibble about the headline: Zach only has one Maddy. That was the term the family decided to use for Jennifer. Her wife is still Mom, I think.
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cate3710
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
I've read both her books and loved them. It's great to read about how supportive her wife and kids are... and it's completely heartbreaking to learn that her sister has cut her out of her life completely.
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Majrhoulihan
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
I love Jennifer Finney Boyle. She's a laugh riot and totally open to any question you want to ask her. However, when I met her, all the questions I really wanted to ask were for her wife.
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hippichx sez PEACE PLEASE
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
i will never forget being at a gymnastics class when i was about nine years old. queen's bohemian rhapsody came on the radio and my coach made them turn it off. he looked at me, and in a very serious tone said, "they call themselves queen. do you know what that means? queens are gay men, and that is not how god made us. this is unnatural and children should not be subjected to it." i looked at him and said, "you asshole." my parents had never mentioned gay people to me at all, neither for nor against, but after years of being an atheist gymnast in a catholic gym, i had realized that sometimes you need to think for yourself.

i still feel bad for that close minded prick.
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vulcanized
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
There was also a great piece on trans kids on This American Life a while back. That teared me up something good.
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JerseyGrrrl
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
Her wife must be a pretty amazing woman. It would be hard to learn that you really didn't truly know your life partner until so many years into a marriage, and then, learning that, to decide to stay by during and after the changes. Just WOW.

I think if my husband came to me and told me he wanted to transition, I would want to be with him still (but I like girlparts too, so it would be cool), but I would be so scared of to what degree the gender change would change who he inherently was, if at all. It must have been very scary for the mother in this story. I hope it continues to work for them.

As Britney Spears twittered, Love is love. I can't believe I just quoted a Twitter.
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Her Grace: SNOWED IN
04/28/09

@JerseyGrrrl: From my experience (one of my best friends--my two best friends, aside from my fiance, are a couple--is ftm and began transitioning a year after I met him), very little about him changed as a person. We all knew that there was something up, and that he was uncomfortable with himself as he was before, and the general air after his coming out was relief.

As more and more young people, especially more and more young queer people who experiment with other sexual identities before considering that another gender identity may be the issue, grow up, I think we'll see and hear about more experiences like mine and my friend's.
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rocknrollunicorn
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
Ah, yes. The old "transgender parent" story. How played out.

I'm not reading it because it'll probably make me cry too. Then again, I think an episode of Cold Case made me cry the other day.
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elitza owns the last Enzo shirt
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
Oh man.

Good parenting takes all sorts of forms. Nicely done, Mommy and Maddy...
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bananastand
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
They sound like an awesome family. Sniff.
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Winkeleh
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
I had to read Jennifer Finney Boylan's book - "She's Not There" - for my Human Sexuality class in college. It's really well written (doesn't hurt that she is an English professor and a great writer), and I really recommend it.
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cate3710
04/27/09

@Winkeleh: Her second book - I'm Looking Through You - is great as well. It deals more with her childhood than the transitioning period.
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EkaterinaBallerina
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
My elementary school, an Episcopalian school outside of DC, had a day one year where we "celebrated" disabilities. They brought in people with varying disabilities, one guy was in a wheelchair, one woman was blind, etc. and they discussed how it was live in a society that wasn't necessarily geared towards them. I remember telling people about it a few years ago and they were appalled. They said it sounded exploitative, as if my school was putting them on display or something. I don't remember it that way at all. Maybe I was just a super-open-minded kid, but learning about people who were different than me felt like a really great learning experience. I learned to appreciate differences.
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NoelleBlue
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
Awwwww, that's so sweet... and that son is obviously going to be a powerhouse in some form or another. That's some wonderful emotional empathy for such a young age!

I'm interested in the book now... I am curious(althogh perhaps she prefers to keep this private for herself and her wife?) if there are any sexuality issues, as formerly straight men who are transgendered often are interested in women after their transition.
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tomatoheart
04/27/09

@NoelleBlue: I find it very interesting that the first thing people always are curious about in regards to folks with any variation from the "norm" is about their sex life.
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NoelleBlue
04/27/09

@tomatoheart: Yeeks! Correction, I meant men.

Hmmm, and as to your comment: I am always fascinated by sexuality, have been since I was a wee child reading gay fiction anthologies(my parents didn't believe in censorship), so I can't speak for 'people', truthfully, only for myself.

I think it says a great deal about sexuality, and what it is based on (hormones, physiology, psychology?), that it becomes fluid for many who are transgendered based on their transitions. And as the author has welcomed people into her marriage and into her life, it has thus made me curious for other sides of the story.

I don't think sexual curiosity, if healthy and respectful, is negative. I also have a great deal of curiosity about those who are WITHIN the accepted boundaries for the 'Norm'... usually because they end up being anything but.
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Eleanor Ramilly
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
Awe, this made me tear up, too. With all of the hate out there it's great to read an essay like this.
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tomatoheart
04/27/09

@Shannon: ditto...made me get all verklempt
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Ailatan
04/27/09

@Shannon: I also teared up.
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
I wish acceptance were a cliche.
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
04/27/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): Shoot - should that be 'was'? Ergh.

Nice point, I ruin it.
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Eleanor Ramilly
04/27/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): Your point wasn't ruined, it's true.
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dreamweave
04/27/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): No, you did not ruin it. It is still a great point.
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
04/27/09

@Shannon: @dreamweave: You know how you look at something long enough it looks wrong no matter what? Anyhow, thank you!
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NellMood
04/27/09

@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): I'm pretty sure you were right- with "I wish" statements you use were.

And obviously no matter what your point still stands.
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PsychicPsycho3
04/27/09

In reply to Zach Has Two Terrific "Maddies"
I met Jennifer Finney Boylan and she is a riot.
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vulcanized
04/27/09

@PsychicPsycho3: Me too! She is totally kick-ass.
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Majrhoulihan
04/27/09

@vulcanized: I met her too! She's awesome.
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