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New York, 3:33 AM
Wed Nov 11
68 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #trainthis more →

    Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of TurtleSpeak TurtleSpeak
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    I read some of the article and nearly gagged at how offensive it is. I can't even find it funny. I just feel horribly horribly sorry for any man whose SO reads this article and thinks "great tips!"


    But then I can never relate to any of the advice in Cosmo. I've never experienced any of the stereotypical relationship problems, or met guys who fit the skittish, lazy, perverted, commitment phobe, goofy sportsloving moron stereotype. And I don't play into the marriage obsessed, mothering shrew of a girlfriend stereotype.

    I just act like myself and lo and behold I have managed to snag a guy who doesn't need training. And we actually communicate. With straightforward words. How novel.

     Reply
    TurtleSpeak was starred TurtleSpeak was unstarred
    Image of Jack_Burton Jack_Burton
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    This article gives me paws.
     Reply
    Jack_Burton was starred Jack_Burton was unstarred
    Image of whats_in_a_name whats_in_a_name
    06/21/09

    @Jack_Burton: It fills me with the urge to flea.
     Reply
    whats_in_a_name was starred whats_in_a_name was unstarred
    Image of LaComtesse LaComtesse
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Nice try, Hortense: I am STILL Dog Whispering my children.
     Reply
    LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred
    Image of battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Hmm, I feel like Cosmos' advice is mildly formulaic nowadays...


    Q: Is he unromantic?

    A: Blow him when he does something nice.


    Q: Does he hit on other girls in front of you?

    A: Blow him so those skanks back off!


    Q: Does he never do anything around the house?

    A: Blow him when he thinks about folding the underwear. Good intentions!


    And, most importantly...


    Q: Do you need to spice it up in the bedroom?

    A: Blow him...with a scrunchie! Or squeeze his balls really hard. Or give a handjob with iced hands so it lasts longer!*


    * Mix and match as necessary.


    Am I overthinking it here?

     Reply
    battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch was starred battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch was unstarred
    Image of whats_in_a_name whats_in_a_name
    06/21/09

    @battleaxonista...is a humorless bitch: In order to prevent the scrunchie method from becoming over used you may want to alternated it with a glazed doughnut that you can then eat off of him.
     Reply
    whats_in_a_name was starred whats_in_a_name was unstarred
    Image of keldo keldo
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Hortense, you are cracking my shit up! What did you eat for breakfast today? Oh wait, it musta been that cereal dude.
     Reply
    keldo was starred keldo was unstarred
    Image of Penny Penny
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    I just kick my boyfriend when he misbehaves.


    He hasn't peed on the carpet in months.

     Reply
    Penny was starred Penny was unstarred
    Image of tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
    06/21/09

    @Penny: You are such an inspiration.
     Reply
    tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock was starred tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock was unstarred
    Image of whats_in_a_name whats_in_a_name
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Yeah, sorry cosmo, but if my hypothetical girlfriend ever has anything she wants to change about me I'm much more likely to respond favorably to simply being told, not to say that I will always comply with the request, but open adult comunication is much more likely to get the result you want.
     Reply
    whats_in_a_name was starred whats_in_a_name was unstarred
    Image of tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
    06/21/09

    @whats_in_a_name: Oh, you mean, "I'd really appreciate if you would help me with the dishes more often" is preferable over some sort of sneaky attempts involving food, withholding sex, and/or some sort of snake charming music?
     Reply
    tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock was starred tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock was unstarred
    Image of PrarieMuffin PrarieMuffin
    06/21/09

    @whats_in_a_name: If you are even vaguely familiar with the concept of "adult communication," then Cosmo is probably not at the top of your reading list.
     Reply
    PrarieMuffin was starred PrarieMuffin was unstarred
    Image of whats_in_a_name whats_in_a_name
    06/21/09

    @tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock: Indeed, sneaky attempt involving food just means there are more dishes to wash, withholding sex just seems like punishment for both parties, and I'm not a snake/lion/dog so those methods are just kind of insulting.
     Reply
    whats_in_a_name was starred whats_in_a_name was unstarred
    Image of SevenNationArmy has truth tourettes SevenNationArmy has truth tourettes
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Does this mean in next months issue theres going to be an article on how to train your dog to be your boyfriend?
     Reply
    SevenNationArmy has truth tourettes was starred SevenNationArmy has truth tourettes was unstarred
    Image of DorothyBarker DorothyBarker
    06/22/09

    @SevenNationArmy hates summer: my dog is totally the best boyfriend i've ever had. he's unbelievably excited to see me, never even looks at other women, and looks at me lovingly no matter what the fuck i'm wearing. plus, he can lick his package.
     Reply
    DorothyBarker was starred DorothyBarker was unstarred
    Image of special_boots special_boots
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Hahahaha I totally saw this on Yahoo news and sent it to my boyfriend. It was hilariously offensive.
     Reply
    special_boots was starred special_boots was unstarred
    Image of vamusical vamusical
    06/21/09

    @special_boots: I know. Imagine how disgusted we'd all be if Men's Health ran something similar for training women.
     Reply
    vamusical was starred vamusical was unstarred
    Image of HillGirl HillGirl
    06/21/09

    @special_boots: I saw it on Yahoo too. I seriously thought it was a joke.
     Reply
    HillGirl was starred HillGirl was unstarred
    Image of Dadadarling Dadadarling
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Someone needs to explain this to my mom who still believes I just need to find a good(= malleable) guy and work him into my perfect husband. Erm, no. And someone needs to explain this to my ex-boyfriend that this doesn't work for females either. A lion might not be able to get rid of his trainer (except by eating him) but I'm very capable of kicking your ass out the door if you try to train me to be your ideal Stepford girlfriend who cooks, cleans and never complains.
     Reply
    Dadadarling was starred Dadadarling was unstarred
    Image of kapoosta kapoosta
    06/21/09

    @Dadadarling: ...but you'de have to get off the couch to kick his ass out the door. Are you sure you want to do that?
     Reply
    kapoosta was starred kapoosta was unstarred
    Image of kapoosta kapoosta
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Cosmo's boyfriend bummers sound a lot like me, except for "he stands his ground." I thought "being a pushover" was more of a flaw, but once again, Cosmo has foiled me.
     Reply
    kapoosta was starred kapoosta was unstarred
    Image of tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    You know, I'm not about to train my boyfriend because I don't want him training me. Unless it's a skill one of us hasn't mastered or some sort of sexytime fun, keep 'training' out of a relationship.
     Reply
    tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock was starred tonightineed is actually Mrs. Ziegler-Spock was unstarred
    Image of Bitchplz Bitchplz
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    Is this from an old issue? I swear I've read this "animal training" thing somewhere before...
     Reply
    Bitchplz was starred Bitchplz was unstarred
    Image of sewradical sewradical
    06/21/09

    @Bitchplz: Anyone watch Smart Guy on Disney about 10 years ago? There was an episode...
     Reply
    sewradical was starred sewradical was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    06/21/09

    @Bitchplz: I remember this particular tactic being used by a high-schooler in a sitcom from the 90s, but I can't quite remember which one.
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of mysterygirl mysterygirl
    06/21/09

    @Bitchplz: I think it first became popular after a NY Times Modern Love column three years ago, so I wouldn't be surprised if Cosmo just learned about it.
     Reply
    mysterygirl was starred mysterygirl was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    06/21/09

    @sewradical: THIS! I sort of thought it was Smart Guy, but I wasn't sure.
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of keldo keldo
    06/21/09

    @mysterygirl: Yes it definitely a NYTimes article:


    [www.nytimes.com]

     Reply
    keldo was starred keldo was unstarred
    Image of Dodgergirl Dodgergirl
    06/21/09

    In reply to Cosmo Still Pushing The Ol' "Train Your Boyfriend" Bit
    I fell in love with a unicorn once. It was really hard. And they are like, impossible to train.
     Reply
    Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    06/21/09

    @Dodgergirl: How hard was it? The horn I mean, could you use it to spear your enemies?
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of randomnessish randomnessish
    06/21/09

    @Dodgergirl: I've found that it works only if you have a golden girdle to put around his head...oh, and he like, insisted that I be a virgin? And since I have no money, and after that night in Reno...well...we didn't last very long.


    Unicorns, amirite?

     Reply
    randomnessish was starred randomnessish was unstarred
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