…Most of the shoppers looking for Tiana dolls are African-American mothers, but Disney reports brisk sales of Tiana nationwide and not just at urban retail stores. But for the moms and aunts and grandmothers we met at this Target, we heard the same thing as Gwen Arnold told us: Tiana isn't just a doll; she's a symbol.

One baby-boomer aged woman looking for a The Princess And The Frog doll notes that when she was growing up, "[There] was just one type of doll, just the white dolls. That was it. So there wasn't any choice when I was growing up at all."

Another mom tells Raz:

I think the times have changed a lot. And for especially the younger girls, at 9 years old, you have your first African-American president, that's probably going to be all that they ever remember, not the things that I remember from growing up. And then to see their first African-American princess, that's wonderful for them.

Some years, the hot Christmas present comes with a lot of buzz: Cabbage Patch Kids, Tickle Me Elmo, Beanie Babies. But none of those toys carry the historical weight Tiana carries with her, being Disney's first black princess. Whether the significance is apparent to kids — or is just something moms are aware of — is debatable. But you get the feeling that unlike toys which get forgotten or tossed, the Tiana doll will be a gift to remember.

The Symbolism Of Disney's Princess Tiana [NPR]

[Image via Toys 'R Us]

"The entire political scene was a little rosier at the time [we started working on the doll, about six months ago]. But what was really apparent was the country, and really the world at large, were very enamored of this lady."

The Michelle Obama doll joins the Barack Obama doll made available last year, though she is sold separately. Bare-armed and available in three different outfits, the description of the M.O. doll reads:

Just like in real life, the Michelle Obama Action Figure isn't simply a female counterpart to Barack. She's her own lady with her own style and energy and, of course, her own fashion sense. 

The copy adds:

*This product is not formally endorsed by or affiliated with Michelle Obama. (But we really hope she likes it.)

While we can't be sure if Michelle Obama approves of the doll, she can rest assured she's in good company: The other dolls produced by the company include Ludwig van Beethoven, Mahatma Gandhi, Frida Kahlo, Virginia Woolf and Marie Curie. We expect that she'll sell better than the tragic numbers the Michelle Bachmann action figure is ringing up. And surely Ms. O can borrow a bicep-covering cardigan from Barbie if she gets chilly?

White House Doesn't Diss New Michelle Doll [Newser]
White House Mum On Michelle Obama Doll [CNN]
Michele Bachmann Action Figure— She's No Sarah Palin [Star-Tribune]
Related: Jailbreak Toys [Official Site]

"Black or white, they're still anorexic with breast implants," Joy Behar said. Well… It's Barbie. Sherri Shepherd assumed that the hair was supposed to be a weave. The long hair is on purpose, though: In an interview, McBride-Irby says combing her Barbie's long hair when she was a girl was the "highlight of my play experience." And some of the dolls do have curlier hair. But Sheri Parks, an associate professor of American Studies at the University of Maryland in College Park, says: "Black mothers who want their girls to love their natural hair have an uphill battle and these dolls could make it harder."

In any case, now that the dolls are out, it's hard to tell how they are doing: The AP reports that Mattel doesn't release sales figures; I checked Amazon.com and didn't find any customer ratings. Putting the financials aside, these dolls — who come in different skin tones and are sold with little sisters to mentor — do seem like a step in the right direction, even if Whoopi Goldberg and friends don't think they have enough booty.

Mattel Introduces Black Barbies, To Mixed Reviews [Daily Herald]

Earlier: Mattel's New Black Barbie A Step In The Right Direction

In this video, the So In Style designer, Stacey McBride — who is black — explains that she wanted the dolls to have skin tones, make-up and facial features that were "true to girls in my community." Courtney, the cheerleader doll, has a fuller nose and fuller lips than regular Barbie. Trichelle, the doll "into art and journalism," has curly hair; Kara who loves math and music, has a "darker" skin tone, which McBride says is "almost my complexion," with pride.

Grace and Courtney
Kara and Kiana
Trichelle and Janessa

(The dolls seen above are prototypes; Kianna's hair will be more like Afro-puffs when the dolls are released.)

It's true that these dolls are a great alternative to blonde, blue-eyed Barbie. When I was a kid, I had Christie, who was Barbie's black friend, whose only difference was her skin color — she was basically Barbie, done in brown. But the new So In Style dolls still have some worrying Barbie traits — impossibly slender, long legs; tiny waists. And though a couple of the dolls have curls, others have long, light brown locks. Hair can be a complicated subject for black women, and it would be sad for any little girl to feel as if her texture wasn't desirable or represented.

But, is it a positive step forward? Definitely. Writes Hill:

The dolls come in pairs of big and little sisters to encourage mentoring relationships.… They may not be mirror-perfect, but they come closer to the fantasy than my childhood playthings. I would want these dolls for my daughter.

Toward An ‘Authentic' Black Barbie [The Root]

[Images via Toys R Us]

The Guardian's tongue-in-cheek story about the new Barbie is titled, "A Tattoo That Spells The End Of Civilisation." Mother-of-three Colleen Pope, from Bournemouth, UK, tells The Daily Mail: "Tattoos are common and if it leads girls to get one, they might regret it for the rest of their lives. It is dumbing right down — Barbie should be at the high end of fashion, not the chav end. Whatever will they bring out next? Drug-addict Barbie? Alcoholic Barbie?"

The truth is, Ms. Pope may be the only mom who is upset about the doll. Pope's quote was used in the Guardian piece, an article in The Sun and in this blurb (titled "Moms Livid Over Barbie Tats") on Newser. So the "livid moms" is really just one livid mom.

Writes one Daily Mail commenter, "Winston Churchill had a tattoo — does that mean he should have been disqualified from Parliament?"

In addition, as seen in this video by Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia, the tattoos are pretty innocent: there's a panda head, a cupcake, flowers, stars, butterflies, hearts and, of course, Barbie head silhouette. I'm pretty sure the temporary tattoos we used to get as Cracker Jack prizes were edgier.

Why the need to act "scandalized" that Barbie is getting (temporary, sticker) tattoos? Would anyone give a shit if GI Joe had them?

A Tattoo That Spells The End Of Civilisation [Guardian]
Barbie Given Tattoos By Makers To Mimic High-Profile Celebrities like Amy Winehouse [Daily Mail]
Anger As Barbie Is Given 40 Chav Tatts [The Sun]
Moms Livid Over Barbie Tats [Newser]
Totally Stylin' Tattoos Barbie – The Stink over Ink! [InventorSpot]

Mattel claims that while she looks older (she is supposed to be about 10), she's not wearing any makeup. But doesn't it look like someone's been in the mascara and lip gloss?

I always thought it was pretty cool that Dora wasn't uber "girly." Now she's traded her sneaks in for ballet slippers and added more ribbons, flowers and jewelry. Do these help at all with exploring?

Earlier: Breaking: The New Dora Has Been Spotted, Described
Doll Makeovers Are Not Child's Play

Sure, change is good: Except when it comes to items for which you have a sentimental nostalgia. I refuse to acknowledge the new electronic banking edition of Monopoly, which comes without paper money and includes a cell phone and a flat-screen TV as game pieces. Give me a dog or a wheelbarrow, or else it's not really Monopoly! Candy Land used to have a Molasses Swamp, but kids today don't know what molasses is (and can't use a dictionary?) so it's now the Chocolate Swamp. Don't even get me started on Candy Land: The Movie.

Why are these toy changes so irksome? Is it because we think of precious, happy memories from childhood as sacred and holy? Is it because — in the case of the dolls — you're taking something perfect and plastic finding fault with it? Is it because the changes are (usually) for the worse? Is it because saying, "when i was a kid, My Little Pony had four flat feet, not poseable legs and an ice cream truck" makes you feel old?

Interview - Disney Princesses Toy Designer, Dora Grows up-Stops Exploring, Starts Shopping [Babble]
Earlier: Berry Disturbing Makeover for Strawberry Shortcake
Related: My Little Pony Land

I mean, why is it that the mental image I have of a guy who utilizes sex toys is someone kind of creepy? Is this fleshlight any stranger-looking than a rabbit, really? Why is it that I am fine with a guy jerking off with his hands, but if he's jerking off in something I'm vaguely disturbed? Why is it not remotely strange to me that men would buy things to shove up their butts — or to have their partners shove up their butts — but, still, looking at this picture of something the would stick their dicks in, some reptilian part of my brain goes "Ewww."? Even the author of the article, Tanya Gold, admits to masturbating with mechanical aids, but seems to find male sex toys — from the pocket pussies to the pussy-in-a-jar devices to the blow-up and real dolls — disturbing in their appearance and what they say about the men who utilize them.

So, is a pocket pussy sexist? Does it represent some sort of objectification of women in a way that a vibrator doesn't — or that masturbating generally doesn't? I have to admit, it isn't. I think part of my discomfort (or our discomfort) with the men who use such devices stems from a fear that the stereotype that men regard us as little more than convenient, comfortable orifices could actually be true for many of them. But I also know, from experience, that the stereotype isn't true for the kinds of men worth sleeping with, regardless of how they choose to masturbate — sex can be as intimate and connecting an experience for men as it is for women. For most men, jerking off in a plastic tube isn't going to be any more of a replacement for sex with a partner than masturbating is — and if your partner would rather masturbate than ever have sex with you, it's not the fault of the tube, but him.

Guys And Dolls: A Revealing Look At Men's Sex Toys [The Independent]

Mattel is doing everything in its power to fight Barbie's increasing obsolescence. The Wall Street Journal reports that, in order to combat its "rare quarterly loss" — unlike last year, sales of Barbie flattened both inside and outside of the United States — Mattel is ramping up web-related offerings and is going to start charging a small subscription fee for its Barbie Girl website, which offers games, videos, chats and "digital extras". It's also experimenting with more interactive products — which aren't guaranteed successes. According to the Journal, "The recent Magic of the Rainbow, a fantasy doll marketed under the Barbie brand, doubled as a remote control, came with a CD-ROM game and featured wings that fluttered at the push of a button. 'Girls asked — is this a doll?' said [Chuck] Scothon [senior vice president of Mattel's girls division]. 'We put too much in.'"

[Image via Wilde Designs Etsy Shop]

Earlier: New Game Encourages Young Girls To Embrace Their Inner "Bimbo"

The UK-based adult toy shop LoveHoney actually started a great recycling program for sex toys, but that's not going to help us on this side of the pond. I dug around, and found one website that claims to be part of a sex toy recycling company, but with no address, phone number, or specific instructions, it's most likely just a joke.

In the end, I ended up not putting my big broken vibe in my garbage, choosing instead to place it in a plastic bag and tossing it in the dumpster in front of my building. One other Jezebel editor says she walked her broken vibe down the street so that her super wouldn't find it when sorting the trash. So here's the question: what should we do with broken vibrators?

Related: How Green Are Your Sex Toys? [Utne]

I'm not usually one to masturbate in the tub, mainly because that means I'd have to use my hands, and my arms would get tired. (What it boils down to is that I'm very lazy.) I've tried some other waterproof vibes in the bathtub before, with varying results, but I'm always looking for the easiest solutions to life's little problems, so I was enthusiastic about the Fukuoku. That enthusiasm didn't last long.

First of all, when I turned it on, I got freaked out, because the noise the vibes made sounded like a swarm of futuristic alien insects flying toward me. It sounded even weirder when I wiggled my fingers. (I guess I couldn't hear it on the convention floor since everything was so loud there.) But whatever, I plunged it down there and moved it around different parts of my vulva to see where it felt best, not wanting to put it directly on my clit before it had the chance to warm up a bit. I could tell within 20 seconds that it was gonna suck. The vibes moved way too fast and steady, even when switching up the settings. There was no interruption or variation, so the vibration almost became like white noise — something mildly annoying that you learn to ignore.

I figured that I wouldn't give up on it yet, and that I'd try it out with some visual aids. So I got out of the tub, dried myself off, got in bed, and started watching some videos on XTube. (If you get the chance, you should watch this one, not because it's hot but because it's really funny. It's these college kids in a room at a party and drunk people keep coming in and interrupting them. NSFW, natch.) That plan didn't work out too well. I couldn't get anywhere even in the neighborhood of an orgasm with it. And on top of that, my fingers started going numb from the steady vibe.

I took off the Fukuoku, threw it across the room — it's so not worth $50! — and grabbed my trusty Hitachi. Will they ever make something that rivals the best vibe in the world?