as much as the guy comes across as earnest, what have you - let's keep in mind that the show is designed to make him look sane and normal, and my spidey sense tells me that he's just another tool. i'd be more inclined to believe his intentions were good if he didn't have all of the 'contestants' on the show look like maxim cover models.
i also think sarah is making fun of the notion that omg, being single is the worst thing in the world and a woman should do everything in her power to avoid being single at all costs because the nature of the show is selling that ideology.
@rednrowdy: I don't think it's selling so much as validating for people who already feel that way. For the rest of us, it's just selling that us wimmenz are crazy and have to be taught how to trick menz into thinking we're not.
@rednrowdy: He does an interview on the VH1 blog after each episode, and he doesn't try to hide his misogynist attitude. I stopped watching the show after he told that girl she would get herself raped.
@InCahoots: oh, so true. validating it for the people who already feel that way due to the people around them letting them know they are freaks...FREAKS, i tells ya, for being single and unattached.
I went to H.S. with one of the girls on this show. Her bio is a complete fabrication and she even uses her stage name (aka stripper name) on the show. She's a fame whore pure and simple....she's not looking for love....
@Fizzy77: I've seriously known this girl since junior high so it's hilarious to see her make an ass out of herself every week (minus the 2 weeks she missed for 'anemia') ;-)
@JaniceLovejoy fromSA: Whiskey and popcorn: This one is different, though. He's not telling the girls to be totally different, he's just trying to teach them how to be themselves without scaring men away. These girls each seem to be the most extreme example of each stereotypical scary woman; the bridezilla actually told her speed dates that she wants to be married by 25 and have kids by 30. Teaching her not to do that is actually gonna help her, and it's very different from teaching her to act like a different person. Same with the girl he told not to tell guys on the first date that she can "suck a mean dick."
EL OH FUCKING EL, turn that first date into a second divorce in no time. Sarah, you are the shit. End of story.
Having not seen the actual show I probably should shut up (but I won't). At this point in my life I'm about a thousand times more interested in watching Sarah Haskins on the internet than I am in following rules. Especially not for some toolbag who is Passionate About Marketing.
Slightly related: did anyone else see on the Millionaire Matchmaker, where Patti completely slut shamed the girl for having sex, to the point where she was in tears? I normally find Patti's retrograde notions about male-female relations to be amusing, but this was unfunny.
@mbot in ... Hushed Rapings: I never liked Millionaire Matchmaker but i like when Patti pops off on the rich men for being idiots and chasing girls half their age. But yeah she can step out of line too.
@mbot in ... Hushed Rapings: I was done with the show after that. She's tapped into both sides of the nastiest sexist coin: (1) slut shaming and (2) slamming a guy by claiming he was inadequate in bed.
I am such a bed Jezebel because I am strangely fascinated by this show. I actually love the fact that all of the women, although seemingly united for the purpose of following the menz, actually get the best advice, support and help from the other women in the house. It's nice to see a bunch of women getting along and supporting each other and being generally fucking cool. It sucks that the only time we see this on Reality TV is in the form of women united in the cause of pursuing men.
It makes me wonder how awesome a reality show about cool Jezebels living in a house, talking about Clive Owen and fighting the patriarchy would be. Tilda Swinson could host.
@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: living together might be too much, but i would gladly have a weekly clive owen open discussion forum over margaritas. i'm not even kidding.
@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: I'm sick to death of all the reality shows with women fighting over being eliminated. It creates winner and losers of the show, and I like that this show stays away from that. I've seen a few episodes and haven't decided how I feel but the whole premise, but it's refreshing to see interaction between women that are caring and genuine and not competitive.
@LaLaLibrarian: But Americans are so stupid that we have to have our reality-TV dumbed-down. There has to be an angle, an arc, a Whore and a Good Girl, an Asshole and a Teddy Bear.
THE WHOLE CATALOG OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE CAN BE REPRESENTED BY COLORFUL IMAGES OF CARICATURES FIGHTING TO THE NEAR-DEATH IN JUST 44 MINUTES.
Haters need to fall back! I love Steve! And I <3 Tough Love. I think that much of the stuff that he says is common damned sense that a lot of women are not willing to concede they should do unless people show them the negative consequences of thier actions. Occasionally it comes across as shaming but straight up sometimes that is how people learn. I know that I didn't stop certain behavior (cough calling incessantly cough) until I was forced to concede that it harmed more than helped. Anyway, I think Tough Love is a great show. My one quibble is that I think his mom should have been involved more because sometimes he seems out of his element.
I think this show is funny when it's not messed up. Some of those chicks have real problems and this was probably not the best way to address them but anyway...
My sister signed me up on Match.com a la Kardashians. I was really annoyed but I think she kind of envies my singleness. Her boyfriend doesn't let her wear low-cut tops and doesn't like it when she talks "like a slut" )says the word "dick"). So, dick, dick, dick.
@KiddyKat: Dick, dick, dick indeed! :-) And your sister should be doing more than envying your singleness. She should be questioning why she's in a relationship in which the other partner thinks he's entitled to LET or not LET her do stuff.
So, the way to find true love is to stop being yourself and follow a bunch of rules made by a guy who just wants women to learn to please men? That is how I'll find my way out of my pit of lonliness and dispair and into the happy, fulfilling relationship I've always dreamed of? Thank you Sarah Haskins for watching this crap so I don't have to.
Steve Ward looks to me like the type of guy who grew up on Long Island, did a lot of non- latent-y homosexual wrestling in high school, is way macho, pees in a gatorade bottle instead of using the toilet, always liked a good party but didn't finish college, lied on the job app and is currently making a 6-figure salary, because he majored in B.S. who COULDN'T TELL HIS ELBOW FROM HIS ASSHOLE AND WHO COULD CARE LESS ABOUT WOMEN. Not that I would know anything about that type of guy.
@the_decider: ha! everytime I watch that show my skin crawls every time he appears. I don't know, there's just something so slimy and condescending about the guy.
@the_decider: @bluebears: So weird, because I trust the both of you, and your opinions but I inexplicably like the guy. Maybe it's a regional thing, as I've never really seen any men like him before. Also, I was under the impression that he was a very closeted gay man.
@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: "Also, I was under the impression that he was a very closeted gay man." LOL! but maybe. Idk, for me its that little concerned brow wrinkling thing he does.
@the_decider: I was surprised, but I actually like him and thinks he legitimately wants these women to be happy. I've only heard him say one or two things that weren't totally spot on, and most of what he says are things that these women probably need to hear.
@the_decider: i read an interview with him and it's his mother's business and he is helping run it. He went to a pretty good school and turned down a corporate banking position (bet he is happy now to have dodged this bullet) to be a matchmaker.
I agree with some of the other Jezzies- I like the guy. I really didn't want to but he is likeable.
@bluebears: Well, I really was on the fence, but when he told all the women that he "truly wants them to be happy from his whole heart" and it seemed like he actually meant it, I thought two things:
04/24/09
Sir, the blame of rape should ALWAYS be put on the rapist, not the rapee. Ya know, cause they're raping someone. Which is bad, you see.
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i also think sarah is making fun of the notion that omg, being single is the worst thing in the world and a woman should do everything in her power to avoid being single at all costs because the nature of the show is selling that ideology.
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In my mind it's clearly between two...
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Having not seen the actual show I probably should shut up (but I won't). At this point in my life I'm about a thousand times more interested in watching Sarah Haskins on the internet than I am in following rules. Especially not for some toolbag who is Passionate About Marketing.
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It makes me wonder how awesome a reality show about cool Jezebels living in a house, talking about Clive Owen and fighting the patriarchy would be. Tilda Swinson could host.
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THE WHOLE CATALOG OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE CAN BE REPRESENTED BY COLORFUL IMAGES OF CARICATURES FIGHTING TO THE NEAR-DEATH IN JUST 44 MINUTES.
/rant - sorry.
04/24/09
Anyway, I think Tough Love is a great show. My one quibble is that I think his mom should have been involved more because sometimes he seems out of his element.
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Sometimes he steps out of line, though.
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My sister signed me up on Match.com a la Kardashians. I was really annoyed but I think she kind of envies my singleness. Her boyfriend doesn't let her wear low-cut tops and doesn't like it when she talks "like a slut" )says the word "dick"). So, dick, dick, dick.
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I agree with some of the other Jezzies- I like the guy. I really didn't want to but he is likeable.
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1. He might be an alright guy.
2. He might be gay.
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1. Be honest, to him/her and yourself.
2. Be ready to work at the relationship, but know when to give up.
3. Be realistic; you probably won't be madly in love all the time, and that is okay.
My TV show would be horribly sappy.