Jezebel: touch my body

Mariah Carey Almost Pulls An Ashlee Simpson Performing "Live" On GMA

Tracie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

This morning, Mariah Carey appeared on Good Morning America for its Summer Concert Series (is it really summer yet!?) and performed three songs. During "Touch My Body," her backing track — aka, her crutch, should her voice crap out, and she can't hit a particular note — kicked in way earlier than it should, fucking up the beginning of the song. Mimi recovered nicely, and went on to sing the song with her actual voice, but about three minutes in, the backing track got messed up again. This time, she turned around, pointed at her back up singers and sang, "Stop singin' my part now, bay-bay." Like it was their fault or something!

Mariah Carey 1 of 3 (Live on GMA ) "Touch My Body" [YouTube]

The New Mariah Carey Video Is Gonna Be Awesome

Slut Machine — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:30:00 EST

A 45-second preview clip of the video for the first single off Mariah Carey's new album E=MC², was leaked yesterday. Jack McBrayer (aka Kenneth from 30 Rock) stars in the video with Mimi, and it looks like he's playing some kind of computer geek fantasizing about her. That's really all we can gather of the premise. Check out some stills after the jump.

Here's McBrayer in front of the computer. So is the computer thing supposed to be keeping with the whole E=MC² theme? Because computers are smart?

Her body totally looks awesome here. We imagine that lots and lots of people would want to touch it.

Here, there's some sort of wrestling or pillow fight action, while McBrayer wears a shirt that says "Love Rocks." Points off for not wearing a shirt that says "Glitter." Although, he's probs supposed to be a straight geek and not a gay one.

It's not everyday that you see a 37-year-old woman wear school girl's uniform who's not a stripper working a bachelor party, or a MILF on Halloween. Points added for looking better than Britney did at 16 in this getup.

Mariah Carey Touch My body video preview 45 sec clip [YouTube]

"What's Your Stance On Making Out With A Coworker?"

Slut Machine — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 16:20:00 EST

It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Did we mention? Don't do drugs!) In this episode, I get baked with my brother of another mother, Rich, and attempt to tackle issues like how to get your security deposit back from an asshole roommate or how to tell people you're gay. (Note that I said "attempt.") Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)

Mariah Carey's New Album E=MC2 Takes Inspiration From Einstein

Slut Machine — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:30:00 EST

It was announced yesterday via her website that Mariah Carey's new album, the long awaited follow up to The Emancipation of Mimi — due out April 15 — will be called E=MC² and, upon hearing the news we just had to mock up an album cover. The album's first single, "Touch My Body" (which we can't help saying ala Anna Nicole Smith's catchphrase "Like my body?") leaked, and it's good; really good. Some sample lyrics: "Boy you can put me on you/ Like a brand new white tee/ I'll hug your body tighter/ Than my favorite jeans...If there's a camera up in here/ Then I'd best not catch this flick/ On YouTube." YouTube! LOL! Anyway, listen to it here.