Animals, they’re just like us: they breathe, they eat, they like rubbing their genitals on things, they look cool in sunglasses, they die. But sometimes before that, they go through a period of adolescence that has a few things in common with what we associate with human adolescence. Aside from the sexual activity and…
Behold Diego, a 100-year-old tortoise whose pure enjoyment of the simple act of fucking has made him the proud father of more than 1,000 turtle babies.
A fashion week show was interrupted on Thursday when two tortoises started boning in the middle of the runway, likely as a demonstration against fashion’s use of mother nature as a prop for couture consumption and material excess.
In sad environmental news, Lonesome George, a Pinta giant tortoise believed to be the last of his subspecies, has passed away at the Galapagos National Park in Ecuador. Scientists estimated that George was 100-years-old at the time of his passing, making him only middle-aged for a species that generally lives to be…
In Aesop's famous fable, the tortoise defeats the hare in the race because he proceeds slowly and steadily. But now, information about turtles is giving rise to a new theory: the tortoise won because he's got a huge wang and didn't need to prove anything to anyone.
These little palm-sized Egyptian tortoises are adorable despite being several years away from joining Master Shredder's ranks and fighting crime. Don't be surprised if, in a decade and a half, these little dudes are cowabunging all over an upcoming reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.