• Earlier this week on The View, Joy Behar joked about Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel: "Yeah, you-ka-tell she's a hooker." Uchitel didn't find it so funny, and her lawyer threatened to sue the show.

• The View responded by issuing this statement: "Joy Behar made a play on Ms. Uchitel's name. This was intended as a joke. We sincerely apologize for the choice of words and for any misimpression the joke may have created." [TMZ]
• Woods, for his part, is taking an "indefinite" break from golf. [ESPN]
• An unnamed Tiger Woods mistress bragged to friends that she had been trying to get pregnant by him for years. "She used to try to arrange to see Tiger when she was ovulating. She thought she'd be set for life financially if she could have Tiger's baby," said a source. Tiger had no idea, but hopefully he's learned an important lesson about birth control. [Radar Online]
• On the Today show, Jamie Jungers said she was introduced to Tiger Woods at a nightclub in 2005 and they ended up sleeping together. She said, "The more we drank, the more flirtatious it got." Isn't that how these things usually go? Jungers insists she isn't part of the escort service that some claim Tiger uses. "I got nothing from this relationship – except a broken heart," she said. [People]
• Escort-service owner Michelle Braun says of Jamie Jungers' story, "That's just a lie. Of course she's going to deny it. What girl is going to go on national TV and admit she was an escort?" [E!]
• In court today Anna Nicole Smith's two doctors and her lawyer, Howard K. Stern, plead not guilty to drug conspiracy charges. A judge refused to suspend the physicians' medical licenses, saying the case has been going on for years, so they're obviously not an "imminent danger." [AP]
• You may have heard that Courteney Cox and David Arquette are adopting a child, but her rep says it's a "complete fabrication." [Daily Express]
• Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson has been charged with first degree residential burglary and receiving stolen property for allegedly stealing lingerie, mail, clothing, and handbags from her ex-girlfriend Jasmine Lennard's home. [TMZ]
• Here's something you shouldn't regift: engagement rings. The ring Tila Tequila gave her fiancee Casey Johnson is actually the same ring she gave Courtenay Semel when they were dating."It is absolutely not real and Casey is well aware," said Courtenay. "I would not expect Tila to be able to differentiate a real diamond from a fake one. Her ring is as real as her engagement!"" [Radar Online]
• Ashlee Simpson has been cast as a supporting character in Nicole Richie's new sitcom. "Nicole adores Ashlee, and she truly believes in her talent," says a source. "With few other job prospects on the horizon, Ashlee - who desperately wants to establish herself as an actress - was feeling down until Nicole stepped up and promised: ‘I've got your back. What are girlfriends for?'" [Hollywood Scoop]
• Ick. Heidi Montag wrote on Twitter, "Here is a poem I wrote for my hubby Spencer," and linked to a 58-line poem about the flesh-bearded one. Here's a sample: "You are the most selfless, loving, perfect, caring, miraculous soul to be / Every day I am in aw (sic) of you / All of you passions motives are always so pure and true / I feel bad for all the women in the world who don't have you / But sorry ladies there is one and I don't share [Us]
• Charges have been dropped against the 22-year-old Chicago woman accused of videotaping a part of New Moon. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Def Leppard's former manager filed a lawsuit against the band for allegedly not paying her after a 2008 tour. [Radar Online]
• VIDEO: At LAX the paparazzi get too close to a woman in Axl Rose's entourage. He says, "touch her again, I'll break his fucking neck." The photographer touches her again and Axl knocks him to the ground. [TMZ]
• A woman called the police from Nelly's house after she saw "an older man with glasses and a mustache" walking around the house with a duffel bag full of video games and electronics. When the man was asked "why are you here?" he didn't answer and ran for an open window. Was it an early visit from Santa? [TMZ]
• Judy Garland and Sir Elton John were named the top gay icons by a voters on OnePoll.com. [Contact Music]
• Liza Minnelli says The Wizard of Oz isn't one of her favorite films. "I just loved her so and for some reason The Wizard of Oz bothers me when I see it. They do terrible things to her. ... That's 'cause it's my mom." [AP]
• Alyssa Milano is among the many Italian-Americans offended by Jersey Shore "My husband actually showed me the trailer on YouTube last night, and I got upset," she said. "It upset me. I was like, 'Turn that off!' So no, I don't think I'll be watching that!'" Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. "Snookie," defended her show on The Wendy Williams Show saying, "The Italian, whatever, national, whatever their organization is, they don't understand that 'guidos' and 'guidettes' are good-looking people that, you know, like to make a scene and be center of attention and just take care of themselves... They are old-fashioned. They don't know that; they think it's offensive, because maybe in their time it was offensive, but now it's kind of a compliment. So they don't understand that and that is what we are trying to say. They are way overreacting to the show. We're 22 to 29 just having fun at the shore. They are just taking it way out of proportion." [Us]
• After a screening of her new film The Young Victoria Emily Blunt said, "I don't feel like I had a burning ambition to play the Queen of England... She learned not to mistake stubbornness for strength, and I learned about the humanity of that world." [Style]
• "I can't go two months without being pregnant, engaged, or breaking up because I'm too needy, which is always the one they love," says Kate Hudson. "I'm not needy. You kind of have to laugh it off, but it can kind of screw up other things around it." She added: "If I walk out on the street with any man, I'm dating him. I've been dating two of my best friends from high school who are like girls to me. I have a child, and there are people involved, and it's unfair to talk about somebody else, especially when you're not in that place yet to be discussing those things." [Star]
• Tori Amos says she went through years of therapy but her daughter Natashya, who was born in 2000, was "the missing piece of the puzzle for me. [Her birth] literally kicked out any kind of negativity or self-abuse that I was holding onto." [CNN]
• Dave Itzkoff, who interviewed the remaining members of the Jackson 5 for Sunday's New York Times Magazine says they "seemed mostly unaware of the aura that surrounds their surname. They were a quartet of garrulous, goofy, occasionally cantankerous men who just happen to belong to one of popular culture's most captivating and scrutinized families - and who are still coping with a devastating loss on that same tremendous scale." [N.Y.T.]
• "I am not proud of being rich," says Ricky Gervais. "I still think they are waiting for me to pick up the wrong fork." [ONTD]
• In Esquire's "What I've Learned" column, Peter Jackson admits, "I'm a technophobe. I don't know how the technology works. But I know what the technology is capable of, which is the important thing." He adds, "My thirteen-year-old daughter makes films with her friends on the weekends. Then she edits them on iMovie, and I sit with her and ask her to teach me how to do it. I'm trying to learn." [Esquire]
• 15-year-old Saoirse Ronan says of her character in The Lovely Bones, "I never really thought of Susie Salmon as someone who was dead... Although her body is dead, her soul is still there. That's what makes Susie who she is and that's what I love about her." [Reuters]
• After an Irish report found that Catholic church leaders covered up widespread sexual abuse of children for 30 years, Pope Benedict said he felt "outrage, betrayal, and shame," but Sinead O'Connor is still calling for him to step down. "Popes have had no problem voicing their opinions when we wanted contraception or divorce," O'Connor said. "No problem criticizing The Da Vinci Code. No problem criticizing Naomi Campbell for wearing a bejeweled cross. Yet when it comes to the evils done by pedophiles dressed as priests they are silent. It is grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre and unprecedented. They stand for nothing now but evil." [Reuters]
• Pierce Brosnan, who appears in Roman Polanski's upcoming film The Ghost, says of the director's arrest, "There's a sadness to the whole situation. What happened was wrong in every way, but I just wish the man well and closure for this time in his life, at this moment in time. He's a magnificent director. He's iconic in the world of cinema. I think we've made a good film, the cast is really top class and I just hope that justice will be served with some dignity and compassion, and swiftly... We had dinners, we talked, I met him before and we got on very well together, but I don't know the man. I certainly knew the history of the man, and my heart goes out to his family, to his wife and to his children, and, as I say, I hope this chapter can be closed quickly." [Daily Express]
• "I tried to lose my virginity when I was seven-years-old," Diddy tells Playboy. "I was on top of a girl who was nine or 10, but it didn't happen - so everybody doesn't have to bug out. My mother and the babysitter whipped my ass." [The Sun]

The lyrics above are actually how Finding illustrates the somewhat cyclical nature of how our culture interprets and accepts sexual or domestic violence. The article opens with the song, explaining:

Back in 1962, the Crystals released a song called He Hit Me (And it Felt like a Kiss). "If he didn't care for me," warbled one of the most popular American "girl groups" of the day, "I could have never made him mad. But he hit me and I was glad."

Deborah Finding, from the gender institute at the London School of Economics, recites the line in a monotone before adding: "It sounds all the more chilling in the light of what we now know about their producer, Phil Spector. Not just about the murder of Lana Clarkson, but also his treatment of Ronnie Bennett of the Ronnettes." She was his wife at the time. She claims in her autobiography that he kept a gold coffin with a glass lid in the basement of their mansion and threatened to kill her if she left him.

Finding decided upon her interesting PhD title by combining two of her interests: music and narrative.

Finding's parents ran a disco. "The wardrobes at home were always cluttered with singles," she says. And she has an impressive collection of over 2,000 CDs at her home in west London. "I've always tuned into the lyrics," she says. This proved invaluable as she embarked on a project directly connected to the work with abused women she has been carrying out with various non-governmental organisations since leaving Cambridge in 2000. She has a degree in philosophy and theology and a masters in Jewish-Christian relations after the Holocaust. "I was always interested in the narratives people tell about their traumas and whether or not they are believed," she says.

"I knew that I wanted to do a PhD that would contribute something to the overall understanding of the way sexual and domestic violence was represented in our wider culture and how that influenced the way people think about the issues personally and politically."

Finding explains that part of the strength of the narratives came from the acceptance from society that this type of gender based violence was a social problem as well as an individual problem. She points out that artists like Tracy Chapman, Tori Amos (above), Suzanne Vega, Beautiful South, Sheryl Crowe, and Alanis Morrisette gave voice to all aspects of a woman's experience, from very explicit violence to hazier, more gray actions. However, Finding is beginning to see the cycle of acceptance shifting back into a narrative that accepts sexual violence:

We've gone full circle in the post-feminist era," Finding says. "Florence and the Machine, hotly tipped for this year's Mercury prize, recently came out with A Kiss With a Fist is Better Than None, equating violence with passion in a way that sounds depressingly familiar."

When asked about misogyny in hip-hop and rap lyrics, Finding provides an interesting response:

These are female artists for the most part. But what about the men? What about "gangsta" rap and hip-hop, and their alleged encouragement of aggressively misogynistic attitudes? "That's been written about elsewhere," she points out, "and it worries me that there's usually a racist element to these discussions. Black artists are condemned, while white bands like the Rolling Stones and the Stranglers get away with deeply unpleasant lyrics. I was more interested in analysing the way that women were narrating their own experience of sexual violence or how they imagined other women's experience."

Personally, I would love to see a visual representation of Finding's work mashed up with Sut Jhally's Dreamworlds 3. Ever since I watched Dreamworlds 3 one video in particular stood out. Limp Bizkit released a video for their song "Eat You Alive" which is the epitome of glorifying violence against women:

The lead woman's palpable fear fades away into lust and desire after Durst decides to paint a pretty picture of their future - after screaming in her face lyrics like this:

Hey you,
Miss. too-good-to-look-my-way
and that's cool you want nothing at all to do with me.
But I want you,
ain't nothing wrong with wanting you cause
I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want,
you got that straight?

No doubt now (no doubt),
I'd love to (id love)
sniff on them panties now.

I'll EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'll eat you alive.....
I'll EAT YOU ALIVE!!!! i'll eat you alive......

There is power in placing these images and words into context, a subversive power. Dreamworlds 3 was able to tap into this by juxtaposing image after image together so the viewer looks at one long pattern, instead of several distinct images. Another subversive adaptation of music and lyrics comes from Tori Amos, who decided to cover Eminem's "'97 Bonnie and Clyde":

Amos did not change any of the lyrics, just presented it in a different light, though a woman's voice. In one of her many responses as to why she chose that particular cover, she notes:

Eminem's fans hate her cover. "That's the greatest compliment I've received," she says, teeth gritted. "My version invades his space, and men aren't used to feeling invaded, it drives them mad. Empower the wife, give her a voice. That's how you are an activist, I think. Is the song pretty? No, but I never said it was." Her blue eyes blaze. "Singing it is not a tribute." — Tori; The Times (UK), Dec 18, 2001

Ultimately, Finding's work is amazing because it illuminates the role of narrative in healing from assault or abuse by speaking these stories into existence. And if they happen to live on in the popular consciousness because they were attached to a song lyric, then so much the better. As is stated in her piece, many of us use music "as a means of emotional support."

And Then He Hit Me [Guardian]
Eat You Alive Lyrics [ST Lyrics]
Tori Amos/Eminem [Here In My Head]

• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

• Some people were offended by the jokes Alex Borstein made about Marlee Matlin's speaking voice on Sunday's Family Guy special. She says, "It was sick. It was twisted. It was rude... and I was glad to be part of it."

• "People love [Seth MacFarlane's] stuff. They don't pay him the big bucks for nothing," Matlin wrote in an email. "I want to do it again and BE the voice. BTW, it only would've been offensive if I hadn't laughed and I loved that you couldn't quite figure out if I was seriously angry at Alex or not!" [Hollywood Insider]
• Jon Voight says he and Angelina Jolie have reconciled. "We're in touch, but not regularly," he says. "We love each other and that's the most important thing." [Us]
• "Amy Winehouse is addicted to table tennis." [Mirror]
• John Travolta, who recently started playing tennis, says, "I play at midnight... Kind of vampire style." [People]
• The Twilight kids are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week and in the mag Taylor Lautner says, "Jacob and Bella are so open, and they can tell each other everything. So it was very important for me and Kristen to grow very close before doing this." [Just Jared]
• "The highlight of playing Jane [in New Moon]was getting to wear the costume and the red contact lenses and to play an evil character," says Dakota Fanning. "I think red eyes make everyone look very evil." [L.A.T.]
• If you want to watch Robert Pattinson talk about his facial hair, check out this video: [Pop Sugar]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have written a book called How To Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture. [Ok]
• In the video at the link, Robert Halderman's lawyer explains that he wasn't trying to blackmail David Letterman, he was just giving him the right of first refusal on his screenplay. [TMZ]
• David Letterman's lawyer says he's "absolutely" ready to testify against Robert Halderman and is "fully prepared to see this case through to the end." [CBS News]
• Sad news: Though Celine Dion announced she was pregnant this summer, it was a misdiagnosis. Her husband Rene Angelil said, "We're living the reality of the majority of couples who face these procreation techniques." [Us]
• Sources say TLC's lawyers are watching all of Jon Gosselin's TV appearances so they can run a tab on how much money he's making since he allegedly violated his contract with the network. [TMZ]
• Shanna Moakler says she's "looking forward to seeing" Carrie Prejean's sex tape. [TMZ]
• Last night Susan Boyle sang on DWTS and got to meet her idol, Donny Osmond. "It is quite something to be in Hollywood," she explains. "This is a world I've never seen before and never dreamt that I would get to see," said Boyle, who added that Hollywood is, "Nothing a woman like me was used to. I have found Americans to be incredibly warm and friendly and very open." [People]
• Susan Boyle says after she became famous, "There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks, until I changed my number. It was constant... "It got to the stage where I couldn't even go outside because the media - American television crews, too - surrounded the house... Everything had built up, and I was exhausted. You have to understand, my life ceased to be normal." [Show Biz Spy]
• Joey Lawrence and his wife Chandie Yawn-Nelson are expecting their second child. [Us]
• Mickey Rourke says after his divorce from Carre Otis, "I don't want to live with an actress again, no matter how they look. I'm working opposite Megan Fox and Eva Green next, and I'm certainly not complaining. But I'll tell you, once bitten..." [Daily Express]
• Though Steven Tyler played with Aerosmith on Tuesday, Joe Perry says he still doesn't know if that means he's staying in the band. "I was totally surprised. I had no idea he was going to show up," said Perry. "All I know is we walked off stage and were sitting taking our break [before] the encore and there was a bunch of commotion and I looked up and Steven was there." [People]
• Halle Berry says she decided to get involved with Jenesse Center, a L.A. domestic violence shelter, because, "My mother was a battered woman and that was my childhood for a good chunk of it... I care, I really care about these women and children." [Us]
• John Cusack on being called an "everyman": "I've been called worse, but I'm not the best person to ask about that. I think it's a compliment if it's sort of a leading-man type compliment. You get the audience to sympathize with you ... it's kind of a cool thing to be an 'everyman' I guess." [BlackBook Magazine]
• Ian McKellen says sometimes gay actors ask him for advice about coming out and he says, "When I act, some people fancy me and some of them are women. There we are! What's the problem? They don't believe me when I say I am in love with a woman?...They don't believe me when I say I am a wizard? They believe me even though they know I am not. It's all nonsense. Everyone knows we are acting." [Reuters]
• Tori Amos says she did a lot of research before recording her holiday album Midwinter Graces because, "In order to make this kind of record and to have it work, I needed to know what the carol writers were doing, then you need to know the theology of where it came from in order to change it. I did change it in making it more inclusive rather than exclusive. Because some of these lyrics were written, it was in a very puritanical time. Women had no rights, they couldn't vote. Some of the music would've been fifteenth century." [N.Y. Magazine]
• You can stop holding your breath — Pamela Anderson says she'll never rekindle her romance with Tommy Lee again. "You can't get heartbroken any more over all the disappointments or how he is as a father or anything like that. He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. I do tell him the truth, but it's been 10 years of suffering over him so I'm over it," she says. "Whatever it is, it is - as long as my kids are happy and we're happy and we're safe, let him run around the world. I support him." [New]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has been very openly dating much younger women for over a year, but his wife Jo Wood just filed divorce papers accusing him of adultery. [TMZ]
• "I definitely keep myself secret," says Leona Lewis. "I went on a show watched by millions of people, so this might sound ridiculous, but I had no desire to be famous, and I still don't. I have this media persona – "She's a shy girl, really nice" – but you can't get to know someone like that. Unless you talk to me every day, you're not really going get a sense of me." [The Telegraph]
• James Franco says he doesn't think he can study in Columbia University's Butler Library anymore. He explains: "Last night I went in, I went into the restroom and this guy was in there and he's mumbling like, 'You're James Franco, right?' I'm like, 'Yeah, how's it going?' Basically, he said he was annoyed with me that I came to the library and that there are girls in the library. He didn't express himself. I think what he meant was that he thought I came to the library to meet young girls and he said it wasn't fair. And I tried to apologize for any disruption my presence had, but he was still annoyed. So I left and I went to the writing building, which is a little more private, but I have to sit there alone in the dark." [Gothamist]
• Jason Schwartzman, whose mom is Talia Shire, said, "I think it's an amazing thing that two words like 'Yo, Adrian' have been so unforgotten. People yell it out when you achieve something, or you've spent a lot of energy and you accomplish something. You yell it out like, 'I did it!' Growing up a lot of kids didn't know my mom [Talia Shire] was in Rocky. And we'd go to P.E. class and we'd have to go jogging; everyone would run up stairs and all the kids would yell it out. They didn't even know my mom was in the movie. It made me feel kind of awkward but also kind of so happy." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Hip-hop artists are "completely gay-friendly. Are you kidding me? Look at how they dress!" said Fergie. "Kanye West really did a great thing for hip-hop and made it very mixed and open." [MTV]

• One of Jessica Simpson's "friends" claims she's at her lowest point ever after losing her dog because, "Daisy was her baby... It's going to put her into a tailspin. It will put her into the worst place ever."

• Tabloid editors must be salivating over her losing her dog, as they usually claim that heartache makes Jess eat and never tire of critiquing her weight. [People]
• Amy Winehouse has launched her own record label, Lioness Records. According to a statement on her website, "Amy wanted to create a label where she could sign and work closely with a small roster of artists she really believed in. The first release on the new imprint will be "Introducing Dionne Bromfield", the debut album from thirteen year old Londoner Dionne Bromfield." [AmyWinehouse.com]
• Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom, who met over the summer and got engaged last week, will get married on Sunday, according to sources. [E!]
• Kate Gosselin taped her new talk show Mom Logic over the weekend. A source familiar with the taping says, "It went extremely well. Everyone there loved it. And Kate did great. There's no question that she was a hit." [Radar Online]
• At the Southern Women's Show in Charlotte, North Carolina, Kate Gosselin said, "I miss Jon, the Jon I used to know." She also confirmed that she's filming a talk show, saying, "I've been given the gift of gab, so why not use it?" [People]
• Paramedics were called and David Hasselhoff was taken to the hospital yesterday after his daughter Hayley called her mom and said he'd been drinking. Hasselhoff's reps say he was just taking Antivert for an ear infection, which mixed with Antabuse, a drug that prevents alcoholics from drinking, and made him feel ill. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff's lawyer says, "He lost his equilibrium and it left him dizzy. This was not an alcohol relapse. David was taken to Encino Hospital on Sunday and released within the hour. He's fine now and looking forward to doing his jury duty this week." [People]
• More This Is It concert/movie footage has been released — does Michael Jackson "wobble" during one of the dances in the video at the link?. [TMZ]
• Archway Amusements bought the Ferris wheel from Neverland Ranch when it was auctioned last year because they needed a new one, not because it belonged Michael Jackson."We ourselves really didn't advertise it," said Theresa Noerper, the company's co-owner. "When he died, it kind of blew up. There's no keeping secrets then." It's currently touring the Midwest. [AP]
• Harrison Ford wrote an article on The Huffington Post urging people to join Team Earth, which is "teaming up with the Prince's Rainforest Project to call for swift action and funding to reduce tropical deforestation — and create incentives for a new approach to environmentally friendly economic development." [Huffington Post]
• Mandy Moore wrote an article for The Huffington Post about her trip to Sudan as an ambassador for the child survival program Five & Alive. She says: "My experience in Sudan has convinced me that solutions do exist, and the people most in need are eager to be part of them. There are simple and cost-effective tools out there that can help people living in the poorest communities in the world, and my role is to talk about those solutions, encouraging support and involvement." [Huffington Post]
• Kara DioGuardi on adding Ellen DeGeneres as an American Idol judge: "I think it's a genius decision... I wish I had thought of it." [People]
• Tori Amos' holiday album Midwinter Graces will come out on November 10. [Billboard.com]
• Jay-Z joined Coldplay onstage at Wembley on Friday and gave Chris Martin a bear hug. An onlooker said: "It was a strange moment, Everyone went wild when Jay Z joined the boys on stage but seeing him grab Chris away from the piano and on to the floor was a bit weird to say the least." [Ok]
• Lady Gaga and Kings of Leon lead the nominations for the MTV Europe Music Awards with five each. [Reuters]
• In the video at the link, Mariska Hargitay says of the new season of Law and Order: =SVU, "A lot of making out this year... [our executive producer said,] this is the year. If we don't make out once per episode they're not even going to air it." [Entertainment Weekly]
• When asked about what she thought of the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart nude tape, Chandra Wilson said, "My whole maternal thing comes out and I just [want to] take care of my baby. That's it." [Access Hollywood]
• Yet another Dancing With the Stars contestant is injured. Mya Tweeted: "Went 2 the hospital late last night 2 get stitches . Deep cut from glass. Only caught 2hours of sleep but feel great. Must be adrenaline." She added later that it was just a cut on her finger and she'll be fine. [TMZ]
• John Krasinski says of his engagement to Emily Blunt, "She's a wonderful girl. Someone had to do it...it was a tough gig, but somebody had to do it... So many people are angry at me." [Us]
• Serena Williams has signed an endorsement deal with Tampax and will appear in print and TV ads with the company's Mother Nature character. [Brandweek]
• Alec Baldwin says he wants Paul McCartney to guest star on 30 Rock and, "We're working on it." His daughter Ireland says she'd rather see Robert Pattinson on the show. [People]
• Christina Aguilera says while growing up with her abusive father, "I witnessed a lot of unpleasant things - a lot of pushing and shoving and fighting and quarrelling. Growing up I did not feel safe. Feeling powerless is the worst feeling in the world. I turned to singing as an outlet. The pain at home is where my love for music came from." [Contact Music]
• Dave Matthews says he agrees with President Carter that a lot of the animosity toward President Obama is race related: "Of course it is! I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't think I noticed it when I lived here as a kid. But when I went back to South Africa, and then it's sort of thrust in your face, and then came back here — I just see it everywhere. There's a good population of people in this country that are terrified of the president only because he's black, even if they don't say it. And I think a lot of them, behind closed doors, do say it." [CNN]
• Jeff Foxworthy says, "I had kind of resigned myself to the fact that that was what I was going to be the rest of my life. If I pulled into a gas station, somebody would go, 'Hey! You might be a redneck!' But for the last three years if I'm in the grocery store, invariably, 10 people will walk past me and go, "I'm not smarter than a fifth grader." And I'd say, "Well I'm not either." [Time]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal says of filming Nanny McPhee and the Big Band, "It's funny because in the movie I have an English accent and sometimes I keep it going... Peter and I were saying that we are going home and we are going to say little English things and our friends are going to think we are super pretentious!" [Telegraph]
• True Blood's Ryan Kwanten was the last to realize his co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer were in a relationship. "I'm always the last to know. My ear is not very close to the ground," he said. "Stephen actually had to come up to me and tell me. He said, 'Ryan I know you're not really up with the gossip side of things. but before you hear from anyone else, we've been dating for the last 10 months.'" [People]

• Police are investigating whether the people who robbed Lindsay Lohan are the same people who broke into Audrina Patridge's home in February. Male robbers in both cases looks similar and in both incidents the burglars walked in through unlocked doors.

• The LAPD has released photos and video of two women and a man breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house on Sunday morning. A source says Lindsay was shown a picture of the man and she said he looks familiar. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A 24-year-old Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson is claiming that he's Michael Jackson's love child and requesting a DNA test. He submitted a birth certificate along with a creditor's claim which says he is the child of "Michael Joseph Jackson" of Indiana and Zerline LaVette Dixon. [TMZ]
• A family associate says, ''There's a lot of finger pointing,'' among the Jackson family. ''Everyone from Jermaine to Joe to Katherine Jackson herself are blaming all kinds of people — including each other — for not stepping in earlier, when it was obvious Michael was being overmedicated even more than usual.'' Also, La Toya, Janet, and Randy Jackson are mad at Jermaine and Joe for making various endorsement deals and planning MJ tributes. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Here's another "Jennifer Aniston is a jealous monster" story: Supposedly she and Tina Fey are "catfighting" because they were nominated in the same category for appearing on 30 Rock. Tina doesn't really care, but a source says, "Jen was so excited to be nominated, she's been talking about it for months, but she's really disappointed to be going up against Tina. She realizes it's going to be near to impossible to win now. Jen doesn't deal with competition well, she likes to be the top dog. She's not happy that Tina is likely to out shine her on the night. Jen and Tina used to be really good friends, they used to talk at least every week, but now they hardly talk at all." [Radar Online]
• The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation says police sources have identified the woman who checked Ryan Jenkins into the hotel where he killed himself as his half-sister, Alena Jenkins. [CBS News]
• Ryan Jenkins attacked Jasmine Fiore for "destroying" his son. He said, "He went to Hollywood and something down there in the last 4 months, including this girl, just destroyed him... I'm not at all convinced that he did this crime yet. He was terrified and alone." [Extra TV]
• Gerard Butler is fighting with an elderly Queens couple because he says their greyhound bit his little pug Lolita on the neck while he was walking her. The couple claims the dogs just touched noses then Butler said, "'You know what? You know what? This dog should be put down!' And he smacked the dog in the head. The dog's head went into the fence. I was shaking. The dog yelped. I said, 'Keep your hands off my dog! Why did you hit my dog?' He didn't say a word." [N.Y. Post]
• Sources say the greyhound was actually on a leash, but Gerard Butler's dog wasn't. After the greyhound bit the pug, Butler put his dog on a leash and started walking away but when the owner of the greyhound started following him and when the dog tried to bite again Butler pushed the dog's snout away from his dog. A "source" said, "Bitches always seem to get Gerard in trouble." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin is insisting he never said he wanted off Jon and Kate Plus 8. "A fan asked me, 'Don't you sometimes wish you could go back to a 9-to-5 job?'" said Jon, "[And my reply was,] 'Yeah, because this is 24/7 and 9-to-5ers punch in and punch out and you have no responsibilities.'" [People]
• Kate Gosselin will guest host in place of Elisabeth Hasselbeck on two episode of The View in September. [E!]
• Megan Fox will play Catwoman in the next Batman movie and The Sun has helpfully provided a Photoshopped picture of what she may look like in the costume. [The Sun]
• A studio rep says Megan Fox has not be cast as Catwoman. "It's rumor. It's not true," he said. "There is no script. There is no project to be cast in." [People]
• Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is suing a man who sold pictures of a lingerie photo shoot she did in 2004 without her permission. [Daily Express]
• As part of his sentence for beating Rihanna, Chris Brown will attend domestic violence counseling at Commonwealth Catholic Charities, a Virginia nonprofit social services organization that that works with people from all faiths. The website of their Batterer's Intervention Program says, "Progress is made only if the abuser is self-accountable for all behaviors, and develops the flexibility to make behavioral changes." [USA Today]
• FOX has been promoting the new season of House with a guerilla "snakes on a cane" advertising campaign all summer. [Reuters]
• According to a police report Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler got into a fight yesterday when he went to her Rhode Island home to drop off their two kids and saw the car of convicted child molester outside. Travis told the police he didn't "want to leave the kids in the residence with a pedophile and wanted a certified nanny with the kids," but when the cops searched the home the man wasn't there. [TMZ]
• Shanna Moakler defended herself on her MySpace blog writing, "let me make something else very clear and the fact I AGAIN have to do this, is vile. I have a ZERO tolerance for pedophiles and if you touch a child in my eyes, you should be sterilized. you're rights taken away. I think it is not only ABSURD to suggest I would ever allow my child remotely near such a thing. this accusation is false and cruel and publicly damaging. not to mention I also have blogged and wrote my senators to help pass the child protection ACT." [Perez Hilton]
• Kirsten Dunst, 27, is a "puma in training." "Kirsten met a cute, young, 22 year-old guy at a bar in Oxford, Mississippi and they partied together and had a hot little hookup," says an eyewitness. "She invited him back to her hotel and even took him out for breakfast in the morning. She was having a good time, and she likes younger guys. But the two have no plans to see each other again." [FOX News]
• A year and a half after going to rehab, Kirsten Dunst was seen stumbling drunk at a bar in L.A. [Radar Online]
• Parker Posey has puled out of an upcoming production of This "due to developing a case of Lyme disease." [N.Y. Times]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal has signed a deal "brokered" by his dad to star in a reality show about his struggle with addiction. It will start filming at the end of the year when he should be out of prison. A family insider says, "Redmond wants to do this to honor his mother. He really wants to get better to honor her memory." [Perez Hilton]
• Linda Hogan is suing Hulk Hogan for her Harley Davidson motorcycle and the $224,000 promised in a settlement. She wants him to pay her attorney and transportation fees and has requested that he be incarcerated if he doesn't comply. [Fox News]
• At the link is the mug shot of Patrick Stump, lead singer of Fall Out Boy, who was arrested on Tuesday because there was a traffic warrant out for his arrest because he had been driving without a license. [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Cibrian and Brandi Glanville have filed divorce papers. He cites "irreconcilable differences" and wants shared custody of their two young sons. He also requested spousal support from his wife, but his lawyer says it's a clerical error. [People]
• In an interview this morning on Good Morning America Liam Neeson said he's "taking each day as it comes" after losing his wife Natasha Richardson. He added, "I'm still getting extraordinary condolence letters from American people and that's deeply touching." [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean, who appeared on Celebrity Rehab was seen drinking at a party after several attempts at sobriety. A source says, "He is drinking again and has lost everyone's trust. He's been dropped by his publicist and manager." [Daily Express]
• Kerry Katona was accused of assaulting a man in Cheshire at 4 a.m. 24 hours after being issued a police caution for possessing cocaine. [The Sun]
• Jason Schwartzman says of Wes Anderson's animated film The Fantastic Mr. Fox, "I've seen the whole thing. One thing that's interesting is it's not like Wes changed his approach to making a movie to cater to the technique of stop-motion animation - he just made his version of a stop-motion animated movie. He brought the genre to him, instead of going to it." [MTV]
• Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Stiller, and Christina Applegate will appear in a new Sesame Street production called Shalom Sesame, a 12-part series geared at teaching Jewish-American children about Jewish culture. [USA Today]
• Kylie Minogue will perform at the Abba tribute concert Thank You For The Music in London on September 13. [The Mirror]
• Here's the first picture of Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig from their Broadway play A Steady Rain. [Entertainment Weekly]
• A lawyer for Survivor winner Richard Hatch says she'll go to court if he is not released from a Massachusetts jail. He had been serving out the rest of his time for tax evasion on home confinement, but was jailed last week after granting two TV interviews to NBC. [Associated Press]
• Jerry Hall is insisting that her autobiography has just been postponed, not scrapped as reports previously suggested. [Daily Express]
• Sir Paul McCartney says the worst thing that has happened to him as a result of the "Paul is dead" conspiracy theory is, "I could see people sort of looking at me more closely - 'were his ears always like that?'" [Telegraph]
• Blake Lively says if she could have anybody guest star on Gossip Girl it would be Kate Moss. "She actually was supposed to come on last year, but it ended up not working out. I love Kate Moss," she said. [N.Y. Magazine]
• When asked if he and wife Rebecca Romijn would be having any more children after their twin girls, Jerry O'Connell said, "Factory closed. It's over. Now we're just adopting dogs." [E!]
• Kristen Stewart said New Moon "is the one book in the series that I was intimidated by - in a good way. That's the best feeling to start a movie with. But probably, my favorite line in the book is when I have to say to [Jacob], "It's him; it's always been him!" Like, I have to say that. Yeah, it killed me, it killed me. Just like everything in our movie, it's such a heightened version of reality. It's like, people don't just break up [in the Twilight films] - they break up and it literally kills you... It's not like you just say, 'Oh, I'm really depressed and crying.' Everything is supposed to be a fantasy version of that. So I always had a really hard time figuring out, 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?'" [ Us]
• "My wife and I really, really like each other as well as love each other," says Eric Bana, "We definitely laugh together every day. And I don't mean chuckle – I can make her really laugh... A girl's got to be fun. It's the one bit of advice I always give to friends of mine who are thinking of getting married." [People]
• Tori Amos says of Lady Gaga, "She's what I call a meteor - singers who entertain people for a while. Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. But then there are people like Neil Young who show up at Glastonbury 40 years into their career. And that's a very different kind of artist. Neil Young doesn't have to get his bum out on stage! The question is, will Lady GaGa be playing alongside Neil Young at Glastonbury in 20 years time? She wants to entertain people. Right now, half the world is depressed and they need to be entertained. So her timing's perfect." [The Sun]
• When Renee Zellweger was asked if she has a hard time getting people to take her seriously because of her looks she said, "Not in such an overt way. I'm not an actress who made her way based on physicality — I think quite the opposite, in fact. I sort of disappear a little bit, with respect to my looks. I'm lucky. I'm not a standout, kind of knockout kind of girl that, you know, it's all about my great hair or something." [CNN]

[New York, August 13. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - AUGUST 13: Singer Tori Amos performs during soundcheck at Radio City Music Hall on August 13, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images)

• Madonna has flown a nanny and a nurse to Malawi to look after Mercy while adoption papers and visas are being arranged. The deal's not done and the kid already has an entourage! [The Sun]

• Newsworthy: Megan Fox wore a red dress with a slit up to there and no bra and says, "I'm currently what you would call single I guess." [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown were both at Game 4 of the NBA finals in Orlando on Thursday, and Chris went over where Rihanna and her posse were sitting and shook hands with all of her friends. But Rihanna was at the game to see Magic forward Rashard Lewis, "whom she's currently crushing on." [Gatecrasher]
• Usher is singing "You make me wanna… file for divorce" to wife Tameka Foster. [NY Daily News]
• "Fragile Susan Boyle dramatically dropped out of the Britain's Got Talent tour yesterday." [The Sun]
• Officials say Susan Boyle's cancellation was just a "one-off rest day." [NY Post]
• SHOCKER: Jon and Kate did not spend their 10th wedding anniversary together. [NY Daily News]
• As previously mentioned, Bruce Willis' daughter Tallulah is an intern at Bazaar, but the Post points out that since she's 15 and unpaid, it's in violation of federal labor laws. Bazaar clarifies: "Tallulah is a guest of Harper's Bazaar, shadowing our editors for a couple of weeks." [Page Six]
• Behold: Bruce Willis and new wife in some kind of "fetishistic shoot." She seems to be wearing those ankle-wrenching Nina Ricci shoes; he seems to be wearing very little. Won't someone think of the 15-year-old intern??? [NY Post]
• "BRAD PITT GOES ON ART BUYING BINGE." Well, he bought one painting. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt's brother Doug has announced that the The Brad Pitt family is donating $1 million to establish an endowment fund to pay cancer specialists at St. John's hospital in Springfield , MO — the the center will be renamed St. John's Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center in honor of their mother. [News-Leader]
• Lady GaGa dyes her dark hair blonde because she was once mistaken for Amy Winehouse: "Amy is a badass but I want to be known for my own look." Oh, you are, dear. You are. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton in a Girl Scouts uniform! [Star Tribune]
• Prince Harry is pining for ex Chelsy Davy and told a friend, "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me." New love interest Caroline Flack doesn't have enough Ys in her name, so she's out of the picture. [The Sun]
• Re: Chaz Bono's sex change: The only regret? He wishes he had done it sooner. [TMZ]
• Three words: Octomom The Musical. [People]
• The new Miss California USA, Tami Farrell, says: "I'm trying my best to kind of calm the waters… I think that everything in life happens for a reason, and I'm just blessed to have this opportunity." These statements were made while she was attending the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl. Obviously. [CNN]
• Kelly Preston is in a PSA promoting healthy food for kids; you can watch it at the link. [People]
• Even though she's on tour with No Doubt, Gwen Stefani says: "My priorities are always going to be my husband and my family now. That's a huge, huge thing." [NY Daily News]
• SCANDAL: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long doesn't have an iPhone. [Page Six]
• Check out this silly interview with Shawn Wayans and his nephews, who are responsible for Dance Flick. Among Shawn's quips: "Obama is a superhero, man… Obama takes his kids to school and then he goes to work and saves the economy." [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney thinks you should go vegetarian at least once a week, to help the environment. Hence: Meat Free Monday. What's it gonna be tonight, folks? Mac and cheese? Falafel? Ice cream sundaes? [Telegraph]
• Sarah Silverman has a book of "autobiographical essays" coming out next April. [Page Six]
• Morgan Freeman is being sued for negligence regarding that horrible car crash last August; he denies the allegations. [E!]
• Though she stopped receiving treatment for anal cancer about a month ago, Farrah Fawcett's condition has not changed; she is still "stable." [Fox News]
• Does Sharon Osbourne owe $23,363.16 in California State taxes? [TMZ]
• Dennis Quaid has been cast as Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship, a film about the former president and Tony Blair — and Quaid's been "encouraged" to gain about 25 pounds. "It's Dennis's worst nightmare," says a source. "He is really health-conscious, but has been asked to follow the same diet as Clinton and gorge himself on Big Macs and Coca-Cola." The horror. [Telegraph]
• "Nine years, 18 seasons and 15 iterations of wilderness later, Survivor host Jeff Probst is a man of simple needs: A shower to call his own and a movie theater within driving distance." The ultimate Survivor? [LA Times]
• Tracey Ullman's show, State Of The Union, is available on Showtime in the US, but the BBC won't buy it. [Daily Express]
• Oh, dear: Those people suing Miley Cyrus for defaming Asians in her "slanty eye" picture got a judge who uses the word "orientals." Obviously they want him off the case. [TMZ]
• A lawsuit filed against Michael Jackson won't stop his comeback tour in London. [MSNBC]
• "The amusement-park rides, elephants and orangutans have been hauled away… Bats hang over the doorway to the building that housed Mr. Jackson's private arcade; guano stains the threshold." — from an update on the property known as Neverland, once the home of Michael Jackson. [WSJ]
• In a conversation with David Cross, he reveals that he has a publicist for the first time ever — at the urging of his girlfriend Amber Tamblyn; he has a book coming out in August,; and, he says: Alvin and the Chipmunks paid me more than all my other projects combined." He just finished the sequel. [LA Times]
• Katie "Jordan" Price on husband Peter Andre: "He's treating our split like a publicity stunt to relaunch his career." [Mirror]
• Hundreds of mourners gathered at a funeral for David Carradine in Hollywood on Saturday; music included The Beatles' "Let It Be" and Ludwig von Beethoven's "Requiem for a Fallen Hero." [AP]
• Oooh, Ghostbusters: Where Are They Now? [NY Daily News]
• John Amos, known for his roles in Roots, The West Wing and as the dad in Good Times, debuted his country single, "We Were Hippies," as part of the 2009 CMA Music Week in Nashville. [UPI]
• Did you know that David Bowie has a 38-year-old son, Duncan Jones? And did you know that he directed the new Sam Rockwell flick, Moon? [Patricia Glassop, the mother of late INXS singer Michael Hutchence says she hasn't seen her son's only daughter in years — Tiger Lily, 12, is being raised by Sir Bob Geldof, who is responsible for the ladies known as Peaches and Pixie. "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie. Glassop says: "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie." Ouch! [This Is London]
• "If you're going to be an actress you can't be coy. Breasts are sexy. I want to see them and audiences want to see them. I've had to do my fair share of it. If you're going to be an actress or a model it's usually part of the package. Men don't have to worry because their private parts don't make pleasant viewing, she thinks. "We don't want to see willies because they're ugly. We want to see breasts because they're beautiful." — Rachel Ward, whom you may have seen in The Thorn Birds. [Daily Express]
• "I stand by what I said. They did copy my song but I don't think they did it on purpose. I have even copied myself without even knowing I have done it. I'll write down what I think is a good melody and realise it's the same as something I have already done. I don't want them to think I am angry with them. I'd love to sit down and have a cup of tea with them and let them know it's okay." — Yusuf Islam, aka Cat Stevens, on Coldplay. [Daily Express]
• "If any of you have a project entitled Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Male, I'm at table 6 and my agents are at table 12!" — Jennifer Aniston, joking about her single status at an awards dinner. [E!]
• "Christina is basically a woman with a God complex that's really going to have to, like, get real. She's going to have to learn to take care of herself as intensely as the patients." — Jada Pinkett Smith, on her character in Hawthorne, who is the only African-American woman to carry an hour-long drama (along with Jill Scott in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) since 1974. [NY Times]
• "It's dangerous to bring this up, I talked about him in an interview not long ago, saying that I still love him, and he was like, 'Please stop talking about it.'" — Sienna Miller on Jude Law. [Mirror via Vogue]
• "In some ways, I was waiting for that cyclical swing back. Everything has a time and a space. I feel like something's changing. Especially when Amy Winehouse came out, I'm talking to 17-year-olds that I know, and they're freaking out about her. That's when I thought, things are getting fresh." — singer Maxwell, on his return. [WWD]
• "Amanda's such a hot mess that it's a dream to play her, although now of course people assume I'm a bitch in real life, when I'm actually the least intimidating person around. I sometimes wish I could channel Amanda. I was in a store the other day and the cashier was mean to me. I felt like doing an Amanda and shouting, 'Listen, maybe you should learn to dress better!' but I just couldn't." — Becki Newton, who plays Amanda Tanen on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "Family life revolves around Elizabeth. If we decided to go on holiday, the first questions are: can Elizabeth go? Will she be okay? Will she have fun? That's the way it's always been, and that's just fine by me." — Eva Longoria on her 42-year-old sister, who has Down Syndrome but is "highly functional" and graduated high school and is now a special education teacher. [Daily Mail]
• "I was Cornish Gamehen for a while, which was bizarre. But for the last couple years, I have been Meryl Inch — however, there is too much of a debacle going on there these days to continue that. So I have to come up with something creative." — Mandy Moore, on what name she uses when she checks into a hotel. [CNN]
• "Reality is an elusive seductress. I like watching her hips move." — Tori Amos. [Times Of London]

• Looks like Sean Penn spoke too soon when he filed for separation from Robin Wright Penn on May 19, citing "irreconcilable differences." Now they're trying to work things out again. The couple already filed for divorce in 2007, but reconciled in April 2008. [Extra TV]

• Officials in the Phillipines obviously didn't read Alec Baldwin's editorial in The Huffington Post, in which he apologized for saying he wanted a Filipino mail-order bride. Now he's banned from the country. "By being in the bureau's blacklist, Baldwin is forbidden from entering the country as he is deemed an undesirable alien," said an official from the country's Bureau of Immigration. [GMA News]
• One of Michael Jackson's back up dancers for his London concerts, Danielle Rueda-Watts, is a two-time pole dancing champion. She's won the Pole-A-Palooza competition in Las Vegas for the past two years. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse was admitted to the hospital on Friday after she fainted, which her management blamed on dehydration. Now her rep says, "She was complaining of chest pains so the doctor advised her to come in and she was kept in for observation and then released." [The Mirror]
• British actress Lucy Gordon was found dead in her Paris apartment of an apparent suicide. She appeared in Spider-Man 3 as reporter Jennifer Dugan. [USA Today]
• In yet another interview with Kate Gosselin's brother and sister-in-law Kevin and Jodi Kreider, they claim Kate's now-estranged friend, Beth Carson, actually wrote Kate's book Multiple Blessings: Surviving To Thriving with Twins and Sextuplets. [Radar]
• Lauri Waring of The Real Housewives of Orange County wants more money from her ex-husband because she says she makes only $400 a month in her career as an insurance agent and "actress." [TMZ]
• In the video at the link, Nicolas Sarkozy drops in on his wife Carla Bruni during her interview with a French women's magazine. [The Guardian]
• Here's some telling evidence on what's wrong with kids today: British teens voted Lady GaGa's "Poker Face" the best song to study to. [The Star]
• In a video conference with Perez Hilton, Brooke Hogan let a white squiggly piece of paper hang out of her mouth to symbolize the doodles Hilton and his minions are so fond of drawing on celebs. She said, "I also have a big white penis on me. Can I take this off?" [Perez Hilton]
• Jordin Sparks has announced that she doesn't know if she wants to get serious with her friend, singer-songwriter and ex-model Steph Jones. "We don't know whether or not to go further or to just keep the friendship," she said. "It's crazy. We've got the feelings, but we don't know whether or not to say it out loud." Uh, you sort of just did. [People]
• Thandie Newton will be the new face of the Martini campaign. [The Mirror]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work - if one day I would be on the set feeling too secure, that would really scare me." - Penelope Cruz [The Mirror]
• The Kardashian sisters still held a grand opening party for their store Dash in Miami Beach, even though it had been vandalized on Tuesday. The window was scratched and the letter GUK were painted in black on the window frame. Police say they don't know what the letters mean, but Kourtney Kardashian said nothing was stolen from the store and the grafitti wasn't targeting her or her sisters. [AP]
• Russell Brand has been talking about an "experience" he had with The Veronicas, but they say he just passed them his number. "We both like people who can make us laugh but with him being a womaniser we'll leave others to go there," said Jess Origliasso. [News.com.au]
• In an interview about her new album Abnormally Attracted to Sin, Tori Amos said of growing up the daughter of a minister, "What's really tricky is when you're brought up in a family that has a very clear faith system and they are really doing what they think is the best thing they can do, which is to bring you up with those beliefs. And I question a lot of what I've been taught and brought up in and I see it differently than my family. But the key has been, can you respect each other enough to say, 'I don't need to tell you what to believe in?'" [Yahoo]
• Mandy Moore says of her hips, "I still have a love-hate relationship with them. I'm not a swizzle stick – I'm not 14 anymore." But, she says she's not hung up on dieting either. "I appreciate when there are other women out there who are beautiful and aren't, you know, a pound," she says. "I feel lucky that I don't feel pressure ... to have my whole life be controlled by whether I fit into a certain size." [People]

[London, May 11. Image via WENN]

• Kiefer Sutherland allegedly head-butted Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough so hard at a party after the Met gala last night that he broke his nose. It's unclear whether the headbutt was intentional. [NY Magazine]

• Lindsay Lohan was spotted flirting with Jared Leto at a party where The Hills was filming. "Jared came over to Lindsay's table to get her, and then they walked into the MTV suite together," says a source. "Inside the private suite, Jared pinned Lindsay against the wall and they looked superflirty. He was whispering in her ear, and their bodies were close together." [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan defended her weight, saying, "I've been eating enough." But a source says she has a bigger problem. "She takes Adderall all the time," the source said. "She gets jittery because of the way the pills affect her. It's a major reason why she's losing weight." [Us]
• Gloria Allred has teamed up with the child-star watchdog group A Minor Consideration to file a petition requesting that a guardian be appointed to make sure that Nadya Suleman's kids are treated well and get a fair share of the proceeds if they are featured on a reality show. [Yahoo]
• Suleman responded: "I feel like as though many, many, many, many people in this society are trying to distract me from taking care of my babies. And I'm gonna continue to live in my baby bubble with my kids. And whoever wants a piece of me or the babies, keep on trying." [Radar]
• When asked why she hasn't been typecast as a mom, Marlee Matlin said, "I've never avoided it. I've just not been asked. I did play a mother on CSI: New York but she was nineteen! I'd love to play the mother of young kids as I do in real life! Maybe I can do the story of the Octomom! Hahaha!" [Babble]
• The Miss Universe Organization sent a cease and desist letter to the National Organization for Marriage because NOM used footage from the Miss USA 2009 pageant in their anti-gay marriage commercial. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis has fled her Hollywood mansion after six days because, as a friend says, "Leona had just gone to the shops to pick up some bits and pieces and was followed all the way back home by this man. She was completely unsettled by this and was pretty relieved to get back to the house safely. But when she looked out of the window later the man was still there, staring right at her. It freaked Leona out big time. She feared she was being stalked." [The Mirror]
• Ola Ray, the woman who starred as Michael Jackson's girlfriend in the Thriller video is suing him because she says she hasn't been paid royalties from the video. [TMZ]
• Cameron Diaz has reportedly dumped Paul Sculfor. "They have fallen out of love. They didn't seem to find time for each other anymore," says a source. "Paul is not too enamored by Los Angeles and wants to be where his friends are. Cameron thought she could settle in England but missed her old life too much. The romance just died." [Hollywood Rag]
• Next week NBC will air a two-hour special called Farrah's Story about how Farrah Fawcett is coping with cancer. [Yahoo]
• Like Jay-Z, Rihanna laughed when one of the paparazzi asked her if Chris Brown is responsible for Swine Flu. [TMZ]
• Jill Zarin of The Real Housewives of NYC says there was so much confrontation in the upcoming reunion special that it had to be split into two hour long shows. She says, "I picked a fight with everybody. I called everyone out. There were definitely things that I challenged people on to be honest about. The only one who I didn't really [challenge] is Bethenny because Bethenny and I sort of see things the same way. And Bethenny has a very sharp memory. I would never go up against Bethenny's memory. And anytime anyone does, they've very sorry they did." [People]
• Brooklyn Decker, who married Andy Roddick last month says that though being with Roddick is "amazing," being married "feels the same. It's the same as being engaged, it's the same as dating." [People]
• Lady Gaga says, "I was very humbled that Madonna came to the show ... And I had been hearing all week that she was going to come, and I was like, 'Oh, OK,' and I didn't want to talk about it or tell anyone 'cause I thought it was kind that she would want to come at all." [MTV]
• Victoria Principal has filed a lawsuit in response to her maid suing her. Principal admits that she pulled a gun on the maid, but said she only did it after the maid threatened her, injured her dog, and flew into a rage, destroying her back door. [TMZ]
• This article is about how everyone's offering to give Susan Boyle a makeover and features a horrifying pictures of Boyle's head Photoshopped onto a topless photo of Kate Moss. [The Sun]
• On a radio show, Marie Osmond said she supports her lesbian daughter even though she is a Mormon, and added that she supports gay marriage. You can listen to the broadcast here: [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell said judge Kara Dioguardi will be back on American Idol next year, even though he doesn't like the four guest format. "There's less time for us to talk. One week literally we couldn't talk, so 10 minutes before the show started they said, ‘Oh by the way you can't talk for half the show,'" Cowell said. "It's rather like saying in a singing competition to the singers, half of you can't sing. It was just crazy." [People]
• The band Iron Maiden is suing makers of the comic book Iron and the Maiden because according to the lawsuit, the "confusingly similar" name is a ploy used to profit from the band's name. [TMZ]
• Dom DeLuise passed away last night in his sleep in a L.A. hospital at the age of 75. His family released a statement saying, "It's easy to mourn his death, but easier to remember a time when he made you laugh." [TMZ]
• Tilda Swinton says of playing an alcoholic in her new film Julia, "I'm so aware very often when you see alcoholism in films, people tend to emphasize something that I don't really recognize in the alcoholics I know and love, which is a kind of loser quality. I don't think of alcoholics as losers, particularly. Alcoholics tend to number the most energetic and fantastic people I know. So I was always thinking it would be nice to look at that kind of portrait." [Reuters]
• Tori Amos says a fan once told her, "I went up to Madonna and I told her how much she meant to me." Amos says: "She's sitting there confessing this to me a couple of years ago and I'm thinking Stupid! ... I've become like Mother Confessor and she's sitting there with me in the British Airways first class lounge and I'm thinking how the fuck did I end up with this while she's having a hang-over and she says, "I just have to tell you…so I say to Madonna, ‘You have meant so much to me and to my career…'" And I'm just waiting for it and she says, "Madonna just looks at my shoes and says, ‘Those are so last season.'" [Out]

Pink - "Sober"

Björk - "All Is Full of Love"

Tweet - "Oops"

Britney Spears - "Touch of My Hand"

I love myself
It’s not a sin
I can’t control what’s happenin’
‘Cause I just discovered
Imagination’s taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand

Tori Amos - "Icicle"

And when my hand touches myself,
I can finally rest my head.
And when they take from his body,
I think I'll take from mine instead,
Getting off, getting off while they're all downstairs.

Divinyls - "I Touch Myself"

The Pussycat Dolls - "I Don't Need a Man"

I don’t need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don’t need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don’t need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain’t around

Madonna simulated masturbation during "Like a Virgin" on her Blonde Ambition tour.

Janet Jackson has like a million songs about sex, and I'm sure that a bunch of them include themes of masturbation, but the most popular is probably "If."

How many nights I've laid in bed excited over you
I've closed my eyes and thought of us,
A hundred different ways
I've gotten there so many times

And then of course there's Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop," but for some reason, it's not embeddable from YouTube. So you can watch it here.

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: On the rocks??? Apparently LL loves to party and Sam is shuns the spotlight; plus Sam's a thoughtful person and isn't sure how she comes across in this "celebrity romance." Gah. [Daily Mail]
• Wait a minute! Sam proposed?! While she and Lindsay were on vacay in Mexico! With a Cartier diamond ring! [ONTD]
• Holy crap: John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston were seen kissing on Monday in California. They flew in to L.A. together on a private plane; hugged and kissed and then went their separate ways. Then again, the source is The National Enquirer. Hmm. [Perez Hilton]
• Jen and Vince together again in a sequel to The Break-Up? This just seems false. [Daily Express]
• Actor Guillaume Depardieu, son of French movie star Gerard Depardieu, died yesterday of complications from pneumonia. He was 37. [USA Today]
• Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia Brady, is spilling all in her new memoir: depression, drug addiction, abortions, trading sex for drugs and engaging in full-on binges at the Playboy Mansion. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! [E!]

• Prince performed in NYC over the weekend but told the audience to turn off their cellphones — which were interfering with the sound system — or "there may not be a show." Anderson Cooper was there. [Page Six]
• Russell Crowe has been cutting down on his drinking. "But tequila and I are still good friends, and vodka and I still get on. It’s just the dark drinks that don’t seem to bring out the best of my personality." [Daily Express]
• Is Kate Moss giving up drinking too? For Jamie Hince? [Mirror]
• If you haven't had enough Brad/Angelina/W magazine stuff, and you're curious how the photo shoot concept came about, click here. Hint: It has to do with Elizabeth Taylor, Bruce Weber, eBay and film that hasn't been manufactured for four years. [W]
• Simon Cowell's American Idol salary: $36 million a year. Paula Abdul's American Idol salary: $5 to $8 million a year. [MSNBC]
• Travis Barker, blogging from his hospital bed: "Despite any rumors you might have heard via my EX-wife Shanna Moakler, who I have not seen since the week I checked in, I've been treated amazingly well, both here in LA and in Georgia. The hospitals I've been treated at are THE BEST." [E!]
• A report, not a review, of Katie Holmes on Broadway: "She isn’t bad. She’s up against some real pro’s, and she holds her own. Like most movie and TV actors, her voice and projection need work. But she knows her lines, appears to understand the character, and does not embarrass herself at all." [Fox 411]
• Diddy sold his Rolls-Royce Phantom last week, but only because he's getting a new Rolls convertible. [Page Six]
• The person who wrote the lyrics and melody for Beyoncé's new song, "If I Were A Boy," is named BC Jean. But Beyoncé's father tried to get Beyonce’s name on the writing credits. [Fox 411]
• Nicole Richie filmed a guest spot on NBC's Chuck and played a bully with a "great fight scene." [People]
• Sharon Osbourne has a problem with Nicole Kidman — "she's got a forehead like a fucking flatscreen TV" — and other plastic surgery fans who pretend nothing has happened: "Oh my God! Those liars! I hate them! Those bitches! They are like, 'I didn't do anything.' Meanwhile, their eyebrows are here. Lying bitch!" [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp's ladyfriend, Vanessa Paradis, says, they are not getting married. "Each summer people say we're supposed to be getting married, but we don't talk about it that much. He's got me, and he knows he's got me." She also says she gets why women want to mob him: "I understand. I want to mob him all the time, I do. He's a very charming person." [People]
• David and Victoria Beckham's housekeepers deny stealing personal items from the house to sell on eBay. Guess who saw the stuff online and reported it to the cops? Vicky's parents. [Daily Mail]
• OMG. Kate Middleton caught talking on the phone while driving. The horror! [Telegraph]
• Rapper T.I. has a number one album and has to go to jail for weapons possession. He says he's "a little anxious" about prison. As for buying guns, he explains, "You know how many attempts have been made against my life? There are people out there that would rather kill you than to tell you, 'Good luck' or 'I am happy for you.' So, until you understand that, you wouldn't understand my train of thought. Not to say it was right. It's just my best explanation." [UPI]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is talking about her body again! "I'm getting ready to turn 30 and get married and all those things," she says. "This year was my year to try to glow from within and feel better." So: "I work out about four or five days a week." She's perfecting her pushup and she thinks the plank pose is "very cool." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg. Gonna marry the lady who gave birth to his three kids. Say hi to your mother for me. [E!]
• Boy George called Little Britain star Matt Lucas a "prissy, niggly diva" back in 2002. He later attempted to apologize but Lucas didn't respond. [Daily Express]
• Richard Gere says: "I stopped reading the press a long time ago. Lots of crazy things came up about me at first, especially from the tabloids. There is an infamous 'Gere stuck a hamster up his bum' urban myth." But! As Michael Musto points out, it was a gerbil rumor. Hmm. [Village Voice]
• Kenny Chesney on his new album: "It's no secret—there are about four or five songs that are about Renée [Zellweger]." [E!]
• Blake Incarcerated's mom says: "I don't think rehab is the answer." She thinks Blake needs to come home to her. Plus she says: "I don't speak to Amy. I feel all the media attention on Amy has probably had an impact on my son's release." Ya think? [People]
• Janet Jackson has canceled more concerts. She still has not made a statement about what kind of illness she has. [AP]
• Uh, was Jermaine Dupri told by Janet Jackson's people, "You're not her boyfriend anymore." ??? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Clark Gable's granddaughter Kayley is a fucking mess. [TMZ]
• Shannen Doherty has agreed to do two additional episodes on 90210. But seriously, no one is watching anymore, right? [LA Times]
• Lethal Weapon 5: Not happening. "Mel turned it down," director Richard Donner says. [LA Times]
• Kevin Spacey: Visiting professor at Oxford University. Pish posh, pip pip, cheerio! [The Star]
• Wanna see Roseanne riff on John McCain and "a nation run by old men on Viagra" ? Click the link! [Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley's twin girls are named Finley and Harper. [People]
• Lance Bass's ex, Reichen Lehmkuhl, has been posting personal trainer ads on Craigslist. [Perez Hilton]
• George Michael is coming out of "retirement" to perform at an exclusive show in Abu Dhabi next month. [Mirror]
• "He's one of the funniest human beings alive." — Dick Van Dyke on Ricky Gervais. [The Star]
• "[Heath Ledger] never involved himself in Hollywood and he didn't want to be a celebrity. He wanted to be an actor. I love acting. I just don't like the current state of the movie business and what is released. The rest of the world makes movies that mean something some of the time. In America, we don't." — Billy Bob Thornton, who worked with Ledger in Monster's Ball. [Daily Express]
• "There's nothing wrong with Disney, but my benchmarks are more West Side Story meets Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm trying to write a musical that will be relevant to a 16-year-old today, a rite of passage for a young girl into womanhood." — Tori Amos, who is working on a feminist fairytale, to be completed by 2010. [Independent]
• "Breast cancer helped me put myself first in life. Once I stepped out of radiation, I had to remember that the only person who could take care of me was me. I'd better do that before I take care of everybody else, instead of everybody else first." — Sheryl Crow. [People]
• "One of the best things about America is that we are a melting pot, a mix of many, many different races and nations. Yes, they have their own nationalities and are very proud of them, but that certainly doesn't diminish the fact that they're American. To me, that is what being American is." — Angelina Jolie on her kids. [Perez Hilton]
• "[Barack Obama] is still so new. He seems like a strong leader. We'll see." — Lauren Bush. [Page Six]

• Days after he allegedly gave Hayden Panettiere his number, Ryan Gosling was seen having dinner with Michelle Williams in New York. Reps say it wasn't a date but a discussion of an upcoming film project. Sure, sure. At least Michelle's stepping up from Heath Ledger. [Page Six]
  
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen hung out at the Bowery Hotel's Lobby Bar in New York Wednesday with former TV daddy Bob Saget and "Uncle Jesse" John Stamos. No Steph, no D.J.? Come on, make it a Full House! [Page Six]
  
• Mary-Kate's new man: Dave Annable of Brothers & Sisters. He's cute! [E!]
  
• Tori Amos to two girls in the front row of her show who kept coming and going: "Get the fuck out of my show! It's a privilege to sit in the front row and I reserve those seats for people who appreciate music, get the fuck out!" Yeah, it's on video. [DListed]
  
• Amy Winehouse is vowing to get her life back on track in the New Year, but first she wants a white Christmas, snort! [The Sun]

• Mary J. Blige on Amy Winehouse: "It's just sad. I hate to see any of these females go through it. I was young, and I did dumb stuff — I was doing worse than that." [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• Kevin Federline's lawyer is pissed that Britney has been a no-show for her deposition four times. He plans to ask the Commissioner to bar Brit from asking for more than she already has in her court order, as a penalty. Get it together already, girl, you're exhausting. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman's wife: Um, a wee masculine? [TMZ]
• Ricki Lake on John Mayer: "I swear to God, there is no story. I met him at a party. He admitted he had a crush and I admitted, hey, vice versa. That was it. I wish there was actually something to tell. There was nothing." [People]
• British newspaper Daily Telegraph apologized for running a column that falsely accused Nicole Kidman of saying that Jo Malone perfume was her favorite, though she is the face of Chanel. The source admitted that the story was made up, and the paper will pay damages to Kidman, which she'll donate to the UN's Development Fund For Women. Wait, papers print stuff that isn't true? [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe were named Hollywood's "most overpaid" actors. But you can't put a price on what they do! Oh, actually, you can. [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which jet-setting performer is stingy with the holiday cheer? The doormen and porters at her posh Central Park West building pad are left with empty pockets when it comes to Christmas tips." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which legendary actor's wife recently sold their luxurious Manhattan condo to a couple who later found hidden closed-circuit cameras in the guest bedroom and guest bathroom during a gut renovation of the apartment?" [Page Six]
• Tyra Banks says she never said Britney should kill herself. "Britney is a friend and we correspond with each other," says TyTy. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Helen Mirren is accusing a film director-turned-food critic of being "insulting and sexist" and treating her like a piece of meat. This was in 1964, but you go Dame Helen! [Telegraph]
• Renee Zellweger says a third Bridget Jones movie will kill her. "My body is whacked by the time we finish one of those," she says. "Your glucose levels are going crazy. You're up and down and all over the place. It doesn't feel good, and no one wants to hear that, but it's the truth." [MSNBC]
• Hugh Grant was seen snogging an "Eastern beauty" while another man caressed her thigh. Maybe he was rehearsing for his new film, Menage A Trois, Actually? [Mirror]

We're fairly certain that the title and cover image of Tori Amos's upcoming album American Doll Posse (click here to see) are a pointed commentary on the prepubescent sexuality American women are supposed to embody nowadays (Don't get us started on what this is doing to actual prepubescents).

We're thankful for it (even if we aren't Tori Amos fans) because the dollyfication of American culture is everywhere, from M.A.C. Cosmetics' Barbie Loves M.A.C. campaign, to the new Paper Dolls-meets-The Real World show The Agency, to the Pussycat Dolls, to a ridiculous Barbie interview in the new Vanity Fair in which Barbie declares herself "forever a teenager". (Um, we thought she had careers!)

Even Project Runway punk-ass Jeffrey Sebelia is being dragged into the dollysphere: as New York Mag reports this week, he's designing the costumes for an upcoming Bratz Dolls movie.

You know how when you got tired of your Barbie doll, you chopped off all her hair? Maybe Britney had a point when she shaved her head the other day.

Tori Amos American Doll Posse [ToriAmos.com]

Sexualizing Girls [Salon.com]