Like this one, which we could imagine actually taking flight.


The collection was presented at Dior's gray salon on Avenue Montaigne. The label's PR department tried to play the move as a return to the essence of the brand, but it can't be entirely coincidental that Dior has sought to avoid the expense of a location show in a year when all the major couture houses are expecting significant drops in orders.


Makeup artist Pat McGrath gave everyone Dovima brows.


Hat or sea anemone?


Hat.

Hat or daisy?


Hat.


John Galliano named this collection "C'est la fievre de la cabine", or Cabine Fever ("cabine" in French means both "cabin" and "dressing room.") Which explains all the lingerie-inspired touches, like visible girdles, visible slips, and visible stockings.


As well as occasional total bottomlessness.


Did we say occasional?


Clearly, the whole no pants thing remains hot for fall.


Not that Mr. Galliano doesn't throw toplessness a bone now and then!


There's a reason Tyra calls it "couture pose."


Let's hold an imaginary pose-off, right now!


Even 1987 Madonna can't deny the appeal of the clavicle-pushing shoulder hunch.


But this girl wins.


Chanel Iman's hat is giving off shades of Carrie Bradshaw's wedding.


Galliano loves his sheer fabrics. And when he can cut like that, who can blame him?


Some of these dresses, however, we have seen before.


Is this what we can expect from designers right now? Is it the economy, all those "consumers want to invest in classic pieces" warnings taken too much to heart? Whatever has driven Galliano back into the archives can't but disappoint those acquainted with the range of his genius. It remains to be seen whether customers will fork over tens of thousands for dresses that are merely beautiful.


But when he's on, he's on.

Okay, this is not an ad. This is a shot from an editorial in Bazaar. But look: Toplessness is what's NEXT!

This woman is shilling shoes and handbags, but she has no blouse.

Here she is again without a chemise. It went on like this for pages. Same model, different accessories, bare boobs.

Another young lady who would love for you to buy a handbag. Except she's not pictured actually touching a handbag. In fact, the handbag appears on the opposite page.

Perhaps her pale, shimmering skin is supposed to make you want to buy that pale, shimmering bag. Perhaps there's a shirt for her inside that bag. Perhaps they should rethink having a nekkid chick in an ad for a brand that sounds so much like a herpes medication.

Aww, look, equal opportunity. This man is also topless, because a topless man is just like a topless woman. They can both be seen in parks and at suburban pools and on family TV and stuff. Oh! And the man gets luggage instead of a handbag because men are bigger and stronger and can lug heavier things. Plus, men have places to go.

Rock And Republic: Fur! Studs! Jeans! Boobs!

Seeing Kate Moss topless is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs: Cute, but you've seen it before.

Watch out, lady, Justin Timberlake is lurking behind you, hoping to get a glance of your tatas!

Dammit. Naomi makes it look easy. Normal. Should we all just throw away our camisoles right now?

And the winner. For toplessness. Goes to: Loree Rodkin. Shilling jewelry on this wretched green, lace-printed model. Do you want to buy a diamond-encrusted dragonfly chain right now? Me neither. Medic! Send Dramamine.

Earlier: Big Hair Is Sexy, Cigarettes Whiten Teeth, Not Having Cellulite Is Awesome
Advertising Taking Cues From Porn: What Is The World Cumming To?