Are you guys as worried about the Millennials as I am? Lately, they've seemed, I don't know, kinda down. Maybe they're depressed? Getting their collective generation-wide period? All I know is that you can't throw an e-cigarette-shaped dart without hitting another handwringing study wondering what will happen to them:…
Hello sports fans! March Madness dribbles on. There was blood on the court yesterday: MTV absolutely slaughtered Ms. Pacman with 82% of the votes, and Team Grunge put a beat down on poor old Macaulay Culkin, winning 74% of the votes. Pour some out for the fallen homies real quick, and then move on: We've got our Sweet…
I took my niece to Target yesterday to cruise the Liz Lange Maternity section (I'm not pregnant; I just dress like I am!) and purchase some Frank's Red Hot. After emptying half the store into my cart, we headed to the checkout line to wait patiently/witness some very disturbing shit. In front of us was a woman with…
Welcome to Squalor, our new column devoted to helping you be less of a disgusting slob. Cleaning expert Jolie Kerr is here to save you from yourself, ready and waiting to answer your filthiest questions. Need help? Email her.
Maybe you have heard recently that Victoria's Secret is under fire for starting a line of sexy lingerie for pre-teens. Maybe you were one of the nearly 40,000 people to sign a petition against this "line," or maybe you just read about that petition in the Telegraph, the New York Daily News, or the New York Times.…
According to a cover interview she just did with the U.K. magazine Fabulous, Jennifer Lawrence apparently isn't as into her myriad Jennifer Lawrence-isms as we are. Her family's keeping her feet on the ground ("My family is not the kind of family that would ever let me turn into an asshole or anything like that, so…
Don't worry, "beautiful, sexy ladies," Rick Ross totally didn't mean to imply that it would be awesome to drug and rape you when he rapped: "Put molly in her champagne, she ain't even know it / I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it." What he meant to say was that no one should ever ever do that,…
Nancy Reagan would be so proud! Yesterday, D.A.R.E. (to say no to drugs) knocked poor Baby Jessica out of the running and back into her soggy cramped well, while over in the '90s conference, Monica Lewinsky gave the boot to Delia*s, matching bedding, corduroy maxi skirts and all.
Okay, so maybe you are a man. Maybe you haven't had the easiest ride in life—maybe you grew up in poverty; you've experienced death, neglect, and despair; you hate your job, your car, your body. Maybe somebody (or multiple somebodies) pulverized your heart, or maybe you've never even been loved enough to know what a…
The Towson University White Student Union (WSU), an allegiance formed of supremely ignorant and bigoted college students, has officially transgressed the border of deeply offensive and trundled into the realm of completely batshit with its decision to form an all-white campus patrol to defend their innocent (white)…
Guys, I'm gonna let you in on a little something: Being proposed to is literally (LITERALLY) the most important day in a woman's life. All of us (every single one of us) spend our whole lives (OUR ENTIRE LIVES) imagining our dream wedding proposal. Will he be on one knee? Or two? Or none? Perhaps he'll stand on his…
Lindsay Lohan — who has somehow managed to convince grown-ass adult law officials who are not her parents that she shouldnnnn't have to go to rehab until after Coachellaaaaa, that would be SOOO unfaiiiiiir! — is spending her last few days of freedom hanging out with her boyfriend, musician Avi Snow (Says Snow…
Because of dicks, I bet. I BET IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU DICKS. I don't mean you, specifically, Jezebel readers. But can you imagine running for office? As a woman? Like, it's bad enough just being a lady-blogger or a cute hamster on YouTube or even some rando on Twitter. Politics is for people who are literally that one…
Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States, known primarily for their taste in fine hats and awesome lady-collars, heard oral arguments on Hollingsworth v. Perry, which challenges the constitutionality of California's voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage. Today they heard oral arguments on United States v.…
Confession: I never think about Jon Hamm's penis. Sure, when I read another story about how it's probably a big penis, I think about it then, because that's how thoughts work. But even then, it's not as if I picture Jon Hamm walking up behind me and casually laying his penis on my shoulder as some kind of funny joke…
So far, our 80s vs 90s March Madness has yielded some surprising results — not so much though yesterday when the Brat Pack easily beat out Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein (nothing comes between her and her Calvins, but the Brat Pack comes between her and a win) and Titanic smashed Crystal Pepsi much like the ice burg…
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Tanisha Love Ramirez assists as we gorge on gossip from In Touch, Us, Ok!, Life & Style, and Star. This week, there's a ton of Kardashian "news": Scott "American Psycho" Disick may not be the father of Kourtney Kardashian's son; Rob Kardashian's been boozing and seeing…
I met my first Cabbage Patch Kid at show-and-tell in Kindergarten. Julie Jones brought in the cherubic April Lynn and passed her around. There must've been something slightly creepy about the way I fondled the doll's shiny plastic head and crunchy blond ringlets because before my time was up, Julie snatched her out of…
Justin Bieber and the stache he is (jokingly?) attempting to "grow out" has been accused of battery after a confrontation with one of his Calabasas neighbors (let's just call him Mr. Wilson) yesterday. Early Tuesday morning, Bieber had a new Ferrari delivered and spent the wee hours tooling (loudly) around his hood in…
Um, right? If there are any too-soon-ologists reading this, could you please weigh in? Ryan Gosling may have been cast to play Oscar Pistorius in a true-crime biopic about the runner. Charlize Theron would reportedly be playing Pistorius's murdered girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. Who is a real person. Who was brutally…
