The addition of Klein brings the number of women on the show's writing staff (not including performers, who also write) to at least three (update: a source claims the new total is six), and while it's not totally unheard of for the show to staff up mid-season, it's hard not to see Klein's addition as part of a welcome response by a late night show to all of the media attention they've gotten as an industry this fall about a dire lack of female writers; this news, especially mid-season, feels like part of a very exciting shift.

You might remember Klein from her appearances on Best Week Ever or The Showbiz Show with David Spade, where she was a regular talking head/correspondent, respectively. Or from her stand-up — she's a fixture in the "alternative" comedy scene in both NYC and LA. But Klein's most legendary success so far occurred behind the scenes, when, as a member of the development staff at Comedy Central in the early '00s, she was the primary network champion of a little sketch comedy show called Chappelle's Show.

The most compelling reason for the dearth of female comedy writers in late night TV was presented last month by former Letterman writer Nell Scovell, who attributed the problem partly to male writers feeling uncomfortable around women in a writer's room, or whatever. We all know that's a bullshit attitude for a person (other than Christopher Hitchens) to have in 2009, but it takes time for entire industries to change the way they've always done things. If anyone needs any assurance that Klein, and female comedy writers in general, can more than hold their own when it comes to dirty jokes in a ribald creative setting, they need look no further than a story she told on stage at the storytelling series The Moth called "Dale," the podcast version of which, it so happens, I had to stop listening to on the subway last week because I was laughing so hard people were starting to stare. (And I'd already heard it at least twice.)

The first person who shared this news with me, a comedian, was careful to say it was just a rumor (a rep for NBC has since confirmed). "But if it's not true," she said, "A lot of us will be really sad." That's not even a melodramatic sentiment, when, in 2009, the top three network late night shows still have zero women writers. Get it together, Dave and Conan. (As for Jay, you're, um, fine.)

Related: Jessi Klein [Official Site]
Among Late-Night Writers, Few Women in the Room [NY Times]
Letterman And Me [Vanity Fair]
The Moth: Jessi Klein: Dale [Last FM]

Halloween: All Bullshit's Eve
The last trick-or-treating doorbell is also the starting pistol for news stories about how early "the holidays" are beginning these days. Said stories correspond with advertisers' exhortations to get your shopping done early, and to decorate your home with things like cardboard maple leaves and shellacked ears of inedible corn.

Nov. 20: The Feast of the Weight-Loss Tips
This "feast" is actually celebrated throughout the year, but kicks into high gear a few days before Thanksgiving with advice on keeping off "those holiday pounds." Women's magazines run articles on how to replace something good with something less good (want marshmallows? try something that's not marshmallows!), while every other media outlet stuffs the eyes and ears with food porn. Celebrate this holiday with a traditional snack of rice cakes layered with pure suet.

Day After Thanksgiving: Black Friday
This day is most enthusiastically celebrated in the direct-marketing community. Members of this vibrant culture learn from their mothers and grandmothers how to mix up a delicious batch of junk mail, spiced with exclamation points and sweetened with love. These simple folk delight in sharing their sales, deals, and specials with you — like an iPhone app that tells "recessionistas" where to buy stuff. Today's direct marketers have improved on their ancient customs: holiday shopping isn't just about buying stuff anymore, it's about buying stuff that helps you buy more stuff.

Monday After Thanksgiving: Cyber Monday
Sadly, Cyber Monday is not the day for "cyber sex with a guy named eric" (except insofar as every day is). Rather, this celebration was launched in 2005 to commemorate the noble tradition of spending money without interacting with other people. The term Cyber Monday was coined by the National Retail Foundation, whose website CyberMonday.com advertises can't-miss deals like a "Free signature iPhone case with $250 Marc by Marc Jacobs purchase at Saks.com!" Apparently "It has been postulated that through mainstream media adoption of the term, combined with retailers hoping to drive more traffic to their sites, that the "Gimmick" of Cyber Monday could become a "Real Trend"." The foregoing is one of the most depressing sentences I have ever read on Wikipedia, and possibly anywhere.

Day After Cyber Monday: Downer Tuesday
This is the day when news outlets report the decline in holiday retail sales since the glory days of the debt bubble, and consumers feel bad for how little they bought. This holiday is a lot like Mardi Gras, and should be celebrated similarly — with unbridled consumption. Go buy a Zhu Zhu hamster — hell, buy ten. Hamsters eat their young, so you might need a couple extra.

Sometime Around December 5: St. Abstemius's Day
St. Abstemius was the patron saint of toothless cultural criticism, and his feast day is the time when newspaper commentators bemoan the overcommercialization of the holiday season. Traditionally, the oldest girl in the household spends this day making gifts for everyone else out of old wrapping paper, bottle caps, and her own hair. Then she sprinkles the family's shoes with a mixture of extra virgin olive oil and bile. Then everyone goes out and buys more stuff.

December 20: Panic Day
Those who celebrate Hanukkah will be all done as of this day (at least in 2009), but the fun is just beginning for Christians and other worshippers at the Church of Christmas Shit-Buying. Panic Day is marked by increasingly obtrusive warnings about the amount of time before Christmas, and by a corresponding decrease in the availability of anything anyone would actually want to buy. Celebrate this day by purchasing a talking bottle opener for someone you mildly dislike.

December 25: The Climax of Consumption
Americans open their gifts and, just as the prophets of advertising promised, they are completely, ecstatically happy.

December 26: Boxing Day
Return everything.

Cyber Monday [Wikipedia]

He writes:

…Why has Disney brought out a black princess now? It's not as if the black population of the world has suddenly increased in size or spending power to attract its attention. No, it is sheer, commercial opportunism on the part of Disney.

And:

"…The high-profile nature of President Obama and his First Lady means that this princess is being launched against a heightened consumer awareness of the dreams of black people coming true and it will receive lots of press coverage."

Now, Mitchell is a professor at Cass Business School in London. So he's looking at this from a business perspective. But the concept of The Princess And The Frog — originally titled The Frog Princess — had been kicking around at Disney/Pixar since at least 2006. In fact, the decision to put Randy Newman in charge of the music of the film was made in November 2006; casting for voices started in December 2006. Barack Obama was sworn in as a Senator the previous year. It doesn't quite add up. Plus, Disney's first princess, Snow White, was "born" in 1937. So the question shouldn't be "why now" but "why so late?" Why, for an all-American movie company, does the black princess come after an Asian princess and a Middle Eastern princess?

Is Disney interested in making money? Clearly. But the company is also interested in telling interesting stories, and a fairy-tale set in America, with black characters, qualifies. Even more troubling is this, from Mitchell:

With the increasing rise of successful black American women - think Tina Turner strutting her stuff at 70, Whitney Houston's recent comeback, the Oprah phenomenon and now Michelle Obama all being seen as "princesses" in their different ways - the aspirations of black American women to transform themselves have never been higher.

Really? black American women aspire to "transform themselves"? From what? Into what? This man writes as though every black American woman is living a gangster life in a ghetto, dreaming of being Princess Michelle Obama. There are millions of successful black women in this country, with millions of different journeys. Ms. Obama is not the sole role model black women have. Plus, she is admired by women of all colors. And if any black woman "aspires" to "transform," what the hell do Tina Turner and Whitney Houston have to do with it?

Upon showing parts of this article to Anna, she declared over IM:

"Heightened consumer awareness of the dreams of black people" is the stupidest thing I've read in a long time.

I can't agree more. If you want to argue that black Americans are being covered more by the media, I'd say duh; our president — and his race for office — did call a lot of attention to "being black in America" and resulted in lots of articles about How Black People Live Today and Who Black People Really Are and What Black People Want. But consumer awareness of dreams? The black experience is not a monolith; not a product. Dreams vary, and ONE black Disney character doesn't — and isn't meant to — represent them all.

Don't worry, though, Mitchell expects that any excitement about black people will pass:

Tiana is likely to be a niche as opposed to a mass market product in the long term. So, just as black American first ladies have a finite period of office, so, too, will Tiana.

Look, admittedly I have not seen the film, but it's so dismissive to think of this project as "niche" because it's a black princess. Time will tell, of course, but it's upsetting to assume that mass-market = white. Was The Cosby Show niche? Is Oprah niche? Is Beyoncé niche? Is the wise Latina known as Dora The Explorer niche?

But you know, arguing about Mitchell's ridiculous essay is pointless, really — the man is OBVIOUSLY a little… off. To wit:

…Depending on how many hearts she wins over, someone is bound to make the connection between Princess Tiana and Princess Diana, which will resonate even more strongly with consumers and give the character an added dimension of stardom.

Yeah…no.

Disney Cashes In On Obama Era With Princess Tiana [Times Of London]

Earlier: 11 Cool Things From The Princess And The Frog
5 Possible Problems With The Princess And The Frog
How About An Animated Movie With A Female Lead Who Isn't A Princess?
About That Princess And The Frog Spoiler…
Disney's First Black Princess Is A Little Green
An Early Look At Characters From Disney's Black Princess Movie
Why Has It Taken So Long For Disney To Create A Black Princess?
The Princess And The Frog
Why Is Disney's First Black Princess Such A Challenge?

In the newNew Yorker, Sam Tanenhaus writes,

Polls taken last November showed that [Palin] had alienated centrists, and a majority of people still eye her with mistrust. But this is beside the point. Populists, from William Jennings Bryan and Huey Long through Joseph McCarthy and George Wallace, have always been divisive and polarizing. Their job is not to win national elections but to carry the torch and inspire the faithful, and this Palin seems poised to do. That she is the first woman to generate populist fervor on such a scale enhances her appeal-and makes her, potentially, a figure of historic consequence.

That chilling last statement aside, Tanenhaus offers a smart analysis of Palin's inexperience and the political hay she's made of it — "her insistent ordinariness," he writes, "is an expression not of humility but of egotism, the certitude that simply being herself, in whatever unfinished condition, will always be good enough." Tanenhaus isn't the first to point out that Palin has elevated her lack of qualifications into a qualification — and indeed, she isn't the first to do this. But Tanenhaus does hint that when Palin positions herself as a woman of the people, she really only means certain people. He calls into question her claim "that Todd, whom she met in high school, is 'part Yupik Eskimo' and opened her to the 'social diversity' of Alaska" with the aside, "Wasilla is more than eighty per cent white." And of her year spent in college in Hawaii, he says,

'Hawaii was a little too perfect,' Palin writes. 'Perpetual sunshine isn't necessarily conducive to serious academics for eighteen-year-old Alaska girls.' Perhaps not. But Palin's father, Chuck Heath, gave a different account to Conroy and Walshe. According to him, the presence of so many Asians and Pacific Islanders made her uncomfortable: 'They were a minority type thing and it wasn't glamorous, so she came home.'

Tanenhaus also points out that Palin's tour has visited mainly small cities in the Midwest, where "minority type things" are rare. And, he says, "race is often the subtext of populist campaigns; their most potent appeal is to whites who are feeling under siege by changing economic and cultural conditions." Palin's not exactly under any economic siege — though her Going Rogue junket has been billed as a bus tour, she's actually traveling by $4,000/hr private jet, a fact she occasionally slips up and Tweets about. But Tanenhaus isn't the only one to see in Sarah Palin a new and disturbing brand of populism.

In Newsweek, Jonathan Alter links Palin with Lou Dobbs — that famed anti-immigration crusader who "is dropping hints about running for the White House in 2012, presumably without the benefit of the Hispanic vote" — and Fox News fearmonger Glenn Beck. Alter's main quibble against the axis of Palin-Dobbs-Beck is that it's substance-free — he writes, "They say nothing loudly, colorfully, and sometimes even charmingly, but it still doesn't amount to a new vision for the country." But while Palin may not have much to say about real policy matters, her entire self-concept is disturbingly exclusionary. In the LA Times, Neal Gabler compares Palin to Richard Nixon, who "understood that anti-elitism trumps everything — in his case, even his own unlikability." Gabler writes,

Palin is playing that same card on the gamble that anti-elitism will trump her own inexperience, incompetence and lack of knowledge. She knows that the more pundits harp on these so-called deficiencies, and the more the media cover it, the more she can claim that they are really just engaging in an old sport: expressing contempt for ordinary Americans, of which she is the self-proclaimed political exemplar. Her self-promotion is designed to elicit their contempt for her and express her's for them, including the very title of her book. At one point she describes inviting NBC's Andrea Mitchell to Alaska, ostensibly so Palin could be interviewed but really, she says, so that Mitchell and her fancy-pants East Coast crew could be "slimed" with fish guts.

The scariest thing about Palin's populism isn't that she uses it to camouflage her lack of knowledge or qualifications. It's that by claiming she stands for "real America," she promulgates an extremely narrow conception of what real America is. She supports men like Harold B. Estes, whose letter calling President Obama "son" she just posted on Facebook. She stands for women — but not those who want reproductive choice — and for moms — but not if they're on welfare. And while she purports to stand for working-class Americans, she seems to care most about a particular slice of them — white conservatives who live in small cities and towns a decent distance from any coast. These are Sarah Palin's elite.

It's not surprising that Palin's anti-liberal-media rhetoric has resonated with this demographic. While journalists come from all over, middle America — especially rural middle America — has a dearth of major media outlets, and it's not stupid that people in Grand Rapids sometimes feel ignored. But this is more the result of the decline of the American newspaper — and the decline of manufacturing in what is now the Rust Belt — than any vast left-wing conspiracy. And it's been a long time since white, Christian voters in Midwestern states have been overlooked by political candidates (oh hai, Iowa). The genius of Palin and other conservatives of her ilk (Dobbs and Beck, but also Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh) has been to present a certain subset of white America as both majority — making up the true bedrock of the country — and minority — cruelly marginalized by its ruling elites. In so doing, they can ignore groups more seriously and systematically marginalized — gays, immigrants, actual racial minorities — and still claim to represent the American people. As a strategy, it's been extremely effective at dividing the country against itself. Whether it will put Sarah Palin in the White House, only time will tell.

North Star [The New Yorker]
Enter The Foxulists [Newsweek]
Palin's Bus Hoax [The Daily Beast]
Hate Sarah Palin? She Loves That [LA Times]
Palin Posts Letter Calling Obama ‘Son' [Daily Beast]

At base a men's fashion magazine, Details is supposedly for a younger and even more status-conscious thirtysomething to GQ's bigger tent and Maxim's still-laddish sensibility (the latter is shrinking in reach, though its cultural contribution seems to live on). Details has lived many lives, but in editor-in-chief Dan Peres' most recent incarnation, the preference for a waif-like, unfratty male physique and an aging gay-or-not debate has been offset by proving "virility" in the crudest, oldest way: misogyny.

In article after article, Details seems to want to prove its heterosexual bonafides with porn-y photoshoots that flaunt misogyny in the guise of edgy humor. Its trend pieces' underlying social commentary is more often than not "your girlfriend/wife/one night stand is trying to trick you." In this imagining, sex and relationships are a minefield of lies and power plays, in which women are often seductive harpies who
cannot be trusted, and in which all too often, their sole goal is to encroach on male freedom. (Details' recently relaunched website actually has a sub-section called "Dating + Cheating." Unfortunately, their online archive doesn't go very far back). So yeah, why not treat women like garbage?

All of this, is of course, intentional provocation — inciting supposedly humorless feminists is part of being a real dude, right?

Another Details standby is to find a sexual niche and inflate it into purported social commentary — "Mandingos" anyone? The magazine's latest sexual trend story — "Why American Men Are Lusting After Women Of The Tribe... It Seems That America Can't Get Enough Smoking-Hot Semitic Tush Lately" — is no exception. It's a pretext for a package of "JILFS" (guess) that include photos of and interviews with starlets whose appeal hasn't historically hinged on their rabbinical status (Mila Kunis, Emmy Rossum, recent convert Isla Fisher).

No matter what, when it comes to sex, Details' version of edgy counterintuitiveness can be numbingly familiar:

Cheerleaders. Five-inch heels. Big, natural boobs. Those are merely the most obvious sexual fixations most men have, but there's another undeniable one: ladies of the tribe.

Undeniable! First off, I actually don't object in principle to celebrating Jewesses, notwithstanding the landmine that is the creepy ethnic fetish. And yeah, the whole objectifying thing. But why do such a sloppy, superficial job with the piece? Philip Roth — he of the iconically tortured and self-hating sexuality — as an example of Jews being "comparatively cool about sex," lumped in with Erica Jong? Throwing in a reference to the Apatow crew without mentioning that their films' romantic interests are often blonde, decidedly un-Jewish types like Leslie Mann and Katherine Heigl? (Missing the chance, by the way, to note that Roth and Apatow have a lot in common when it comes to shiksa obsessions that leave allegedly "smoking-hot" Jewish women out of the story). Not to mention crafting mostly-incomprehensible, stereotype-perpetuating sentences like this one:

"Recently, however, the Fran Drescher rep has given way to a more smoldering image. Think cultural mutts like Rachel Weisz, Emmanuelle Chriqui, and Rachel Bilson-women who have little in common beyond sultriness and Star of David necklaces."

Huh? Does Rachel Weisz (who has spoken articulately about being a Jewish woman in Hollywood) count as a mutt because she's from England? Or Emmanuelle Chriqui because her parents are from Morocco? And if they have little in common, what exactly are we talking about here?

The rest of the piece grafts together some references to porn featuring Jewish women (I invite you to find a subset of the population that porn has not at one point or another fetishized), a self-published calendar, and yes, a Fleshbot poll of proclivities that placed "Jewish women" just under "freckles." The author cites Joanna Angel as the sole example of porn stars who "actively embrace" their Jewishness because she describes herself as having a "Jewish nose," but then quotes her saying she's rejected roles in Jewish-themed movies.

Just performing this close reading is starting to make me feel stupider – I suspect I've spent more time on it than the author and editors spent on the piece. But that's Jewish girls for you – whiny and demanding, if occasionally good for some Star of David-shaped pasties when all other trend story options have been exhausted. But really, although there have been serious pieces snuck in here and there (and I actually thought this one raised good, and even, dare I say it, feminist points) one wonders why Details bothers with words at all.

Update: We got the interior images accompanying the story.

The Rise Of The Hot Jewish Girl [Details]

Related: Did Your Girlfriend Trick You Into Fatherhood? [Details]
The Return Of The Office Affair [Details]
Look Who's Sleeping With Your Wife [Details]
Everyone Else is Cheating-So Why Aren't You? [Details]

Earlier: Men's Magazine Treats Women Like Garbage, Furniture

If your pal X'ortel needs advice on covering up those scales, she should look no further than Allure's "Starry Night" feature, which advocates tinted moisturizer on the cleavage and not one but two types of makeup on the legs. But where Allure truly shines is the social sphere — essential tips on activities most humanoids take for granted. Devoted followers will remember the immortal "How To Take A Shower," but the December issue expands on the seemingly-simple-activities theme by offering advice on how to talk to people. For instance, aspiring humans should try to relate current events back to fellow partygoers' lives. Allure's example: the Jaycee Dugard kidnapping. Charming! But X'ortel might not want to take her cue from alleged human Kirsten Dunst, whose insight after a recent cross-country road trip was, "wow, America is so poor." Celebrities, like aliens, want to seem down-to-earth, and Dunst is, as we say here, doin it rong.

Oh, those View ladies had their work cut out for them this post-Thanksgiving day of Hot Topics. On the one hand, if there's anything they claim to love it's celebrity privacy, and if there's anything they claim to hate, it's domestic violence. But on the other hand, there are some very sticky rumors out there that female-on-male violence is part of the developing Tiger Woods story. So how did the ladies deal with it? By avoiding the issue as long as they could (until Whoopi mentioned it in the context of "a bizarre question" — ha!) while making wince-y faces and speaking veeerrrry slowwwly. Here's the breakdown of where each View member stands. They're just exactly like a family in crisis:

Sherri: Total, Pathological Denial: He shouldn't have to explain anything because married people get into arguments and "when did TMZ become the Bible of all news?" This situation is different for Tiger than it is for anyone else because he "has never shown himself to be any person that's of violence."

Barbara: Cautious Disbelief: "It's his business. I know that if you're in the public eye supposedly you have to reveal things about yourself but in this case it was between him and his wife."

Elisabeth: Avoidance, Ignorance: First she made a joke about how Tiger could have crashed into a tree when his entire job as a golfer is not hitting things into trees, then she insinuated that she didn't know anything about the story. Off the hook!

Joy: Ignored Source of Comic Relief: Made jokes, but nobody listens to her.

Whoopi: Lone Voice of Reason: "I have to ask a really bizarre question..if it had been reversed, and the rumors were flying that he had done something to her, would we be as saying look it's his business?"

Good question, Whoopi! Sadly, the ladies never really answered it — even trying to pretend at first that by "if the situation were reversed" meant "if Tiger Woods wasn't famous or was an elected official" instead of "If Tiger Woods was strongly rumored to have caused lacerations on the face of his wife with a golf club." Obviously, we all hope those rumors aren't true, but it's a little soon for The View to be declaring the case closed — especially since they would never do so if the situation were, you know, reversed.

About midway through watching New Moon with two friends, I realized I was having a lightbulb moment. I got it. Suddenly, in the theater, I realized why this series is so popular, why all the criticisms of Meyer's work slide off like it is made of teflon, how the story of a somewhat codependent teenager torn between two increasingly controlling objects of affection is enticing enough to spend weeks on best-seller lists and to break box office records. To condescend toward this type of fandom is a mistake (even if said snarking is both hilarious and on point). In order to unlock the saga's chokehold on teens, we must use its own conventions. In other words - we need to learn how to reach teens from Twilight.

This may seem like a strange admission to make. After all, feminists and fans of young adult literature alike have been warning against Stephanie Meyer's siren song for years now. Newser points out how many of the headlines surrounding the massive success of the franchise focus on the sexism inherent in the series. Grady Hendrix, writing for Slate, notes:

Just as America's young men are being given deeply erroneous ideas about sex by what they watch on the Web, so, too, are America's young women receiving troubling misinformation about the male of the species from Twilight. These women are going to be shocked when the sensitive, emotionally available, poetry-writing boys of their dreams expect a bit more from a sleepover than dew-eyed gazes and chaste hugs. The young man, having been schooled in love online, will be expecting extreme bondage and a lesbian three-way.

Even Ms. Magazine, which has remained somewhat indifferent to pop culture, gets in on the action, with Carmen D. Siering explaining:

Fans of the books, and now a movie version, often break into "teams," aligning them- selves with the swain they hope Bella will choose in the end: Team Edward or Team Jacob. But few young readers ask, "Why not Team Bella?" perhaps because the answer is quite clear: There can be no Team Bella. Even though Bella is ostensibly a hero, in truth she is merely an object in the Twilight world. Bella is a prize, not a person, someone to whom things happen, not an active participant in the unfolding story. [...]

Maybe it's difficult for Edward to see Bella as an equal because Bella has almost no personality. Meyer writes on her website that she "left out a detailed description of Bella in the book so that the reader could more easily step into her shoes." But Meyer fails to give Bella much of an interior life as well; Bella is a blank slate, with few thoughts or actions that don't center on Edward. Outside of him and occasional outings with werewolf Jacob, Bella doesn't do anything more than go to school, cook and clean for her dad, write to her mother, read and romanticize over Victorian literature and find fault with her clothing. She has no other interests, no goals, few friends: Bella does nothing that suggests she is a person in her own right. If Meyer hopes that readers see themselves as Bella, what is it she is suggesting to them about the significance of their own lives?

And indeed, there is much to hate about the series. Hell, I even put forth an analysis of racism within the series.

So how can I suddenly advocate to understand Twilight, instead of destroying it?

I speak not to disprove what others spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.

To be a teenager is a difficult thing. Desires war against common sense, ephemeral things (like boy bands) take on deep, long lasting meaning, and you are devoted to friends, peers, and lovers. Everyone seems to want to separate you from what you want. And, even with the best intentions, those of us who hate Twilight are just feeding the mania. We bludgeon them with reason and forget two key things:

• 1. Fandom doesn't run on logic, and
• 2. A large part of exploring the boundaries of growing up is choosing things for ourselves - whether we make the wrong decisions or somehow stumble upon the right ones.

Sitting in the dark space I shared with another 40 or so people to watch the film last night, it dawned on me. I listened to the cheers that went up when Jacob Black removes his shirt for the first time, the laughter that erupted when Bella cracks her head while trying to cliff dive her way to Edward, and the radio silence when Edward confesses his undying commitment to Bella. I realized that Twilight does not represent a failure of feminism, but rather a golden opportunity to evaluate where we can focus on outreach.

How often do we get a non-personal opportunity to talk about issues with obsessive relationships? Promoting the idea of passive femininity and promoting an idea of controlling and all-powerful masculinity. While we may wince at the portrayals of Bella, Edward, and Jacob in the context of their relationships, it would be foolish to pretend that Meyer isn't just tapping into societal ideas surrounding heterosexual relationships and power dynamics that already exist. The documentary Micky Mouse Monopoly explores the messages portrayed in Disney films:

By exploring these themes with teen and preteen girls in a questioning, not a confrontational tone, adults can help them to discover for themselves why the things that Edward and Jacob do in the name of "love" are not okay. Conversely, teenage and pre-teen boys are also paying attention to the cues they are learning from Twilight. I was shocked last year to learn that my younger brother, whose sole ambition at the age of 11 is to sag his pants as low as possible, and to be as cool as possible by knowing every popular rap lyric on the radio, pulled out a Twilight DVD when I came to visit and offered to put it on "because this is what girls like." Apparently, his "girlfriend" - a term he defines as a female who gives him her phone number - and most of the other girls he knows love Edward or Jacob.

What are young boys learning about how to behave in relationships when they are exposed to Twilight?

A very similar message as to what they learn through Disney:

Just as Jacob started out as a genuinely nice kid who switched over to being a Nice Guy, when he realized Edward's tactics of being forceful and controlling were working on Bella, there are potentially thousands of boys who could decide that the way to win a girl's admiration is by emulating Jacob and Edward's controlling behaviors.

Only by understanding and critically engaging with the Twilight saga can parents and other adults start looking at what aspects of this series appeal to teens and where else they can channel their attention.

After all, the Twilight mania won't rule the world forever. The teenagers now will get older, a new crop of teen idols will arise. What will endure from Twilight won't necessarily be the messages of sexism - those are reinforced in thousands of different ways every day, and Stephanie Meyer will not be the last author to tap into them. What adults and pop culture critics should pay attention to is how Twilight breaks with many different conventions that have come to be accepted as normal. As Neesha writes on Racialicious, how often do girls get a chance to explore their budding sexuality in a safe (fantasy) space? I'm sure many of the young women who watch Twilight will have also seen the Transformers franchise, featuring Megan Fox as hyper-sexualized eye candy. How often do they see a movie geared at teens and young adults that allows for the main heroine to wear double layer shirts and oversized jackets? And how often do studios discount budding adolescent desire, and fail to consider that perhaps, girls would also like to see attractive, shirtless men parade around on screen?

Indeed, the mania resulting from New Moon and other parts of Twilight saga allows more than just an easy feminist critique - it also allows the opportunity for adults to influence the great Twilight-after. Eventually, all of the books will be read, and all of the movies will be left. What could be next? Can they help to exert small variations in the narrative by encouraging teens to write their own fan fiction (and guide Bella in their own ways)? Can they recommend other books to fill the aching gap left by the end of the Twilight saga with similar content but more progressive leanings? (Try Kelley Armstrong's The Summoning, Tamora Pierce's Song of the Lioness quartet, The Silver Kiss and Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause, The Uglies Series, by Scott Westerfeld, and Magic or Madness by Justine Larbalestier, for starters.)

There is so much possibility within the world that Meyer has created to reach out to teens. And the way to do it isn't by dismissing their fandom, but engaging within their world, on their terms. As Nancy Gibbs writes in Time magazine, "Kids, like adults, resist force-feeding."

We can't force anyone to take their medicine. But what adults can do is allow teens the space to explore, grow, and come to their own conclusions on their own time. All they need to do is be ready, and willing.

O judgment! thou teens art fled to both brutish beasts (vamp and were),
And women have lost their reason. Bear with me;
Their hearts are in the coffin there with Edward (or in the forest, with Jacob),
And I must pause till they are ready to hear me.

New Moon' Breaks Midnight Record [Box Office Mojo]
LDS Sparkledammerung IS HERE! [Stoney321's LiveJournal]
New Moon Sexist, Say Critics [Newser]
Vampires Suck [Slate]
Talking Back to Twilight (Partial Article, Full in Print Only) [Ms.]
Running With the Wolves – A Racialicious Reading of the Twilight Saga [Racialicious]
Mickey Mouse Monopoly: Disney, Childhood & Corporate Power [Media Education Foundation]
Friends [XKCD]
Disney, Twilight and Bollywood: Reinforcing the Purity Myth or Fantasy of Safe Sexual Exploration for Young Girls (and Their Mothers)? [Racialicious]
The Gospel of Glee [Time]

Santa, it's kind of cool to send models to Chile's Andes Mountains and all, but really, even though the girl in the coat looks adorbs as she "poses" or drunkenly weaves through the snow, the dude in the poncho and hat in the back looks more interesting. Bad-ass, even. Even the horse is like, "Bish plz. Nay."

Santa, don't you love this shot? The textures and colors! And if you, Mr. Claus, feel bringing this girl a pearl twisted hammock necklace ($98) and a pearl-and-crystal avalanche necklace (135), that would be awesome, because I'm loath to pay those prices for them. And I've been good.

Have you ever tried this, St. Nick? Going out it lots of cute layers instead of a coat? Does it work for you? Really? Are you warm enough? Can you still move your arms? Huh.

Aw, Santa, as a girl who dresses up for Dorothy almost every Halloween, my heart skips a beat when I see glitter heels. Then again, I dig pretty much everything glittery here — the tank, the cardigan, the necklace.

Yum! Ladylike coats in sugary-sweet colors!

Ooh, this hearkens back to boat on dry land trend of 2008! Unless that's a frozen lake.

(Click "full size" to enlarge)

Dear Santa, don't you think it would be nice to entertain at home in a velvet jacket and silk pajama pants? And, more importantly: Sneakers? Oh, it's all very well to squeeze into something short and/or tight, and strap on heels and teeter around at holiday parties. But imagine being able to eat! And walk!

Dear Kris Kringle: The "Ellington" skirt is named after Duke, right? It's all jazzy and whatnot, designed for dancing on top of a piano or for pretending you're in a repertory theater production of Chicago. Too bad it's styled with those hideous socks and shoes.

Riddle me this, KK: Is "bling" ever going away? Not sparkles — sparkly stuff we love. But the word. Bling. Just a question. While you're thinking about it, bring me this cardigan in light berry, fresh guava, soft violet and heather fossil.

Yo. Sinterklaas. File this under "good in theory but less elegant in practice."

Dear Santa: Bet you can't guess who the most awesome person in this picture is. Go ahead, click "full size" to enlarge. Nah, it's not the gray lady on the left in the Ellington skirt. Try again.

Ding ding ding!

Hey, Santa, did you know J. Crew hired Chanel Iman? Exciting, right? She looks super pretty! Young! Fresh! Bright-eyed and bushy pony-tailed! And, you know: Yay for black models.

Another yay! Is this Arlenis? Her skin is to die for, as are these soft, candy colors.

Oh, Santa. If only I looked like this right now. Put-together! Joyous! Like a flattering light and some peachy blush are emanating from within me! Instead I'm wearing pajamas with cupcakes and ice cream on 'em and my hair looks like a Brillo pad that needs to be thrown away and my face is like :-/

Dear Santa: Everything but the boots. And maybe you could throw in a little somethin' extry?

Thanks!

J. Crew [Official Site]

Earlier: October At J. Crew: Pretty, Preppy, Preposterous
J.Crew's Ovary-Busting Child Models Should Come With A Warning
Fall At J. Crew: Romantic Ruffles, Destroyed Jeans, Hideous Shoes

J. Jill Vs. J. Crew: It's A Fashion Showcase Showdown

Related: Barneys: Wooing With Witticisms & Wallet-Emptying Wares
Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Dean & Deluca Thanksgiving: Mouth-Watering, Wallet-Emptying
All previous catalog posts

Oprah's story begins in 1957 on Easter Sunday, the momentous day on which two church ladies with folksy speech impediments prophesy her rise to fame. Though Oprah is standing under a cross, she looks like she's possessed by the devil. Since this is an illustrated biography, maybe the best way to convey that she's a "beautiful young child" would be to draw her that way.


The thing the author decides to "get out of the way" on pages 2-3 is Oprah's entire adult life, or the part in which she actually does remarkable things. Think about the highlights of Oprah's career, then decide if you'd put Kirstie Alley in a bikini in the top 13.


Let's jump back 50 years and learn a little more about the woman who will grow up to interview Kirstie Alley about her (temporary) weight loss. It seems spending a few years with her loving grandmother has only made little Oprah scarier. Since her mom is busy trying to climb out of the panel, a giant telephone has to step in to break up the angry staring contest between Oprah and her baby sister.


After a brief interlude at her dad's house, where Oprah is treated well, she's returned to her mom. Like much of the comic, this page is sprinkled with excerpts from Maya Angelou poems. Tastefully portraying childhood sexual abuse in a comic book is a tall order, but this is pretty well done. Though, the illustrator does make it look like Oprah is literally locked in a cage.


To deal with the pain of having a "self-absorbed" mother and attending a school where someone forgot to draw many of her classmates' legs, Oprah "runs wild." This entails hooking up with some guy in an alley and dressing like she's in a Britney Spears video.


This page cleverly illustrates Oprah's transformation from tube top-clad hussy to buttoned-up bookworm. It would probably be easier for Good Oprah to read those Photoshopped books if she opened her eyes.


The illustrator has an "ah-ha" moment and decides to draw himself into the story to justify skipping important chunks of his subject's biography. Who knew Female Force comics are written by Eminem?


In 1998, Barbara Walters presents Oprah Winfrey with the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Daytime Emmys (video evidence proves Barbara actually hadn't been attacked with pepper spray that night.) The last few pages of the comic just show Oprah greeting fans along with quotes lifted from her acceptance speech.


Finally, Oprah fulfills her life's mission by single-handedly getting Barack Obama elected, which was certainly a triumph for "truth, justice, and the American way." Still, the comic book would have been more entertaining if Oprah's "female force" involved moving things with her mind or shooting lasers out of her eyes.

Calm down, I'm not advocating incest. I'm merely suggesting that some of the same identity-obscuring, affect-flattening nostrums found in modern dating guides can be useful when interacting with Grandma, Uncle Ted, and that one cousin who always wants to talk about guns. Sure, you could watch the 1950 short "A Date With Your Family" (above) to learn about how it's your duty to dress attractively for your male relatives (ew?). But for more up-to-date advice, check out the following tips:

1. Don't talk about yourself too much.

Personal information — like your political views, religious beliefs, or the fact that your name is not actually "Becky" — shouldn't be revealed until the second or third date with your family. Or better yet, not at all. You know the old rule about letting a man talk two-thirds of the time, while you talk one-third? This works well for your family, too, except that the two-thirds portion should be filled by the television.

2. Don't try to cook anything new or complicated.

You know how the way to a man's heart is through a simple yet delicious man-brisket? Families have similarly conservative tastes. This Thanksgiving, my mom made a pie with whole-wheat crust. Three aunts and six cousins broke up with her right away. Don't let this be you.

3. Just agree with everything anyone says.

Many great relationships have ended because of superfluous opinions on the part of the woman — and these opinions can be just as damaging to a family gathering. Instead of saying what you actually think, simply smile and nod, or at most say, "Interesting!" Will it really kill you to pretend you don't believe in the moon landing? No, it won't.

4. Choose inoffensive entertainment.

People have different tastes, and as a woman, your job is to satisfy all of them. Just like a romantic date, an evening with your family isn't about what you want to do — it's about what's least likely to piss off someone else. Family-friendly films include Miss Congeniality, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous, and any biopic that does not involve drugs. Family-friendly music includes nothing.

5. Don't talk about healthcare reform.

This one should just be obvious.

These tips may seem difficult to follow, but over years of subsuming your true thoughts and feelings, they will become second nature. And once you've mastered them, you too can land a family who loves you for who you pretend to be.

Hand Turkey FAQ

Q: What is a hand turkey?
A: An adorable craft made by American schoolchildren — and you!
Q: How do I make one?
A: Click the "full size" link, print the image (you might have to copy and paste into your favorite graphics program), cut it out, and glue or tape to a section of toilet paper roll. Use to decorate the dinner table this afternoon!
Q: What's special about these hand turkeys?
A: They are inspired by some of the year's biggest "turkeys" — public figures I felt should be immortalized in gobbling-bird form.
Q: Why don't the people have any arms? And why are there fingers sticking up out of their backs?
A: It's been a long time since I made a hand turkey, okay? Shut up.
Q: Why is the Alaskan flag green?
A: Seriously, shut up.

Sarah Palin

Jon Gosselin

Tucker Max

Carrie Prejean

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ok!
"Oops, I Did It Again!"
Justin Trawick was tucking in Britney's boys when Sean blurted out, "Good night, daddy!" Britney's heart "simply melted," says a source. It was then that she realized how good a father and husband he would be! Britney wants a "real" wedding this time — the white dress and the wedding cake — but she doesn't want it to be a spectacle, says a "friend." The mag says Britney and Jason will wed on the beach in Costa Rica, Hawaii, Mexico or Australia, which really narrows it down! Brit will fly in 200 guests, including Madonna, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Also, Britney is hoping "Jason can give her something else she's never had: A baby girl." Next: A source says that Jennifer Aniston will only date guys who are approved by her close friends, and she has rules: He has to be over 40, never married, no children, not a player, not a musician and not an actor. Producers are ok, as are writers and directors. But he has to be financially stable and emotionally stable. Finally: Robert Pattinson has a Christmas "surprise" for Kristen Stewart: He's planning a secret getaway to a cottage in the English countryside; then they'll spend Christmas in London with his parents.
Grade: F (stress fracture)

In Touch
"Katie Moves Out."
Katie's been telling Tom that she needs her space, but he keeps showing up to the set of The Romantics on Long Island. They had a fight in her trailer, and she said she's had it with his domineering ways and can no longer relate to his movie-star lifestyle. (?!?!) She's decided to stay in New York alone after the movie wraps. Tom was furious — they'd talked about purchasing a home in NY but Tom had never considered the idea of Katie living there alone. Katie's "embracing" their differences by shopping at the Gap instead of the designer boutiques her husband prefers — and hanging out with her parents, who don't like Tom. Two awesomely ridiculous sidebars: "Does Katie Have The Dawson's Creek Love Curse?" and "Tom's Exes Have Broken Free." (See image 7.) Moving on: "Celebrity Cellulite Wars" alleges that Rihanna and Beyoncé are "constantly pitted against each other." Now Beyoncé is "getting her revenge" because Rihanna "has embarrassing cellulite" while Beyoncé is "smooth and sexy." The copy declares: "Rihanna was spotted with lumpy thighs. It's been a rough year all around." Angelina Jolie is "ruining the holidays" by informing Brad that she plans on taking their six children to Vietnam. The accompanying caption reads, "No yams in Ho Chi Min city." Sob! Angie says she won't go to Brad's parents' house in Missouri because they don't get along. Brad's mom is "always telling Angie that the kids should be in school, and have a routine, and that they look messy." Also, when he's with his parents, Brad gets lazy — he lets them take care of the kids and "just sits around drinking beer." Brad and Angie had a fight about all this stuff, so he packed his bags and headed for the chateau in France, but as soon as he got there, Angie called and begged him to come home, "confused and trapped in a dysfunctional cycle of fighting viciously and making up, he agreed," an insider says. Next: A two-page story breaks down John Mayer's lyrics from his new album to illustrate how he's dissing Jessica and Jen. The song "Half Of My Heart" is about how John only loved Jessica with half of his heart — the part that liked her hot body! In Nicole Richie news, she has pneumonia, but hasn't been feeling great since she gave birth to Sparrow, is having a tough time handling two kids, fainted once and is too thin. "Their Real Bodies Revealed" features the freaky physical problems of the stars: Megan's "clubbed" thumbs! Denzel Washington's crooked pinky! Etc. (See image 8.) Finally, the best part of this magazine was a picture of Willow, an English terrier mix, reading My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem, a book by the rapper's mother. (See image 9.)
Grade: D- (plantar fasciitis)

Us
"Stuck On Mr. Wrong."
So basically Jennifer Aniston "can't let go" of John Mayer — there's something about him she can't resist. But John is "still in love with" Jessica Simpson. "He can't get over her — all of his friends don't get it." This despite the fact that John used to make fun of Jess — putting the phone down when she'd call and walking away while she rambled. When it comes to the ladies, John has system: "He charms them for weeks over e-mail, impresses with his intellect, and seals the deal with his prowess in bed." Jessica loved how John would educate her about music and life, and would listen like love-struck schoolgirl." Moving right along: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were at dinner party, when Tom turned to Katie and asked, "Where did you go to college? You went to Columbia, right?" Katie had to say: "I got into Columbia but I never went." Awkward! Ashlee Simpson spent over $20,00 on Pete Wentz's credit card and acted like it was nothing; "he's over it." Robert Pattinson has "secret demons" — Margaret thought he maybe killed a man or something, but no: "He's so unhappy," a source says. "He's grateful for the success, but it'd be great if he could just walk away from it all now. He feels completely trapped!" Lastly: Celebrities with shaggy bangs are clearly inspired by canines. (See image 10.)
Grade: D- (bunions)

Star
"48 Best And Worst Holiday Beach Bodies"
What's the difference between a regular beach body and a holiday beach body? Guess Star is hoping Americans waiting in airports and train stations this weekend want to know. There are 17 pages of male and female celebrities in swimwear. FYI: America Ferrera has "killer curves" and Jennifer Lopez has a "big red caboose." Kelly Bensimon has "patches of crepey skin" and Ryan Seacrest has a "jelly belly." Moving on: Joanna Krupa changed her implants, says a plastic surgeon who doesn't treat her (See image 11.) Taylor Lautner gave Taylor Swift a $200 sterling silver heart "commitment" ring from Tiffany. Blind item! "Which sexy celebrity chef was overheard bragging loudly about her fling with a famous singer? The crooner's known for lovin' and leavin', but she has a clueless husband. Burn!" Snoop Dogg almost didn't ring the bell at the NYSE — he slept through his alarm! Britney's kids drew all over the walls of her home, causing thousands of dollars in damage, but instead of teaching them to draw on paper, she put up plain wallpaper and let them go at it, because she wants them to explore their creativity. "Inside Jen & John's Twisted Romance" alleges that Jennifer Aniston planned her trip to Cabo for the two of them — but John Mayer never showed up. In October, she flew to NYC to visit him, only to have him ignore her calls for 3 days. "She was just waiting in her hotel room," an insider says. Then she flew home broken-hearted. "One minute he'll tell her he's not feeling in, and then the same night, he'll drunk dial her, telling her she's the love of his life. He tells her they're star-crossed lovers, and their romance is like a Greek tragedy." Who gets to poke out their eyes? Once Jen found a lacy thong in his bedroom, but John said it was hers. They argued about it, a source says, and "finally she gave up and said it might actually be hers — it's as if he has the power to brainwash her." And "After he flaked out on her in Mexico, she started emailing him photos of herself in a bikini and writing stupid stuff in the subject line, like "2 good 4 u." Next: Beyoncé and Jay-Z have been "working overtime" to conceive a child but have not had any luck, and Beyoncé is heartbroken. Shauna Sand says Chace Crawford was her "teen lover." She's 14 years older and says four years ago when he was 18, they had a "steamy, sex-filled romance." He was a virgin when they met and the first night he came over, she checked his ID to make sure he was really 18. When they first started hooking up, she had to show him a thing or two, but by the end, they were having "wild" sex with whipped cream and so on. Is Tiger Woods cheating on his wife with someone named Rachel Uchitel? They met in May and have been sexting. Allegedly. Teresa Guidice from RHONJ was filming a guest spot on Mercy and could barely remember her lines and kept cursing. When someone asked if she was the housewife who flipped a table, she said: "Don't effing bring that up." Carey Mulligan's best friend Keira Knightley has become a "La Beouf-blocker." Carey told Shia that Keira warned her that he's a player, which enraged Shia, because he's really genuine. Finally: Nicole Richie is in talks to star with Joel Madden on an at-home talk show where Nicole's famous friends pop by to be interviewed by the couple. She's turned down roles because she doesn't want to be away from her kids, but this way, she'd work from home.
Grade: D (corns)

Life & Style
"It's On!"
The editors of this magazine got a draft of the script for The Tourist, a new flick that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp have signed on for. And there are sexy scenes! For instance: "The outline of her naked body is visible in the shower," the script teases. "Frank walks to the shower and opens the glass door. Walking in, he lifts Kara against the glass, clutching at her slithery body, kissing her frantically. She kisses him back with ardor, wrapping her dripping legs around his back." Since Angie has hooked up with costars before (Jenny Shimuzu, Jonny Lee Miller, Billy Bob Thornton, maybe Colin Farrell, definitely Brad Pitt), and they're both Geminis, it is clear that they MUST fuck while filming. There's a great sidebar about how Angie and Johnny have so much in common: They both love France! Their kids love Pirates! (See .) Next: Janet Jackson has talked to ABC's Robin Roberts why she gained 60 lbs: "There are people that — if there's something that's stressful, whatever it may be, they don't eat. I'm the opposite." She discusses this in her upcoming book True You, which will be released in 2010. She told Robin: "It was originally about weight loss, but I wanted it to be more about my triggers. [My emotional eating] started when I was very little. My brothers were gone on tour a lot, and I would miss them so much. I wish I had a book like this when I was that young." Moving on, Lindsay Lohan is in counseling. She goes two or three times a week, and it's not a program or substance abuse thing, or a police officer watching her. It's someone to talk to in a confidential setting. A friend says: "Her problems are all about Daddy. If Lindsay had a stable dad, none of this would be happening." And this is an actual sentence in the magazine:

"Is seeing a therapist twice a week enough? All I can say is maybe," says Marc F. Kern, an addiction specialist in Beverly Hills who doesn't treat Lindsay.

In a sidebar, we learn that Lindsay posed for pictures for an upcoming issue of the French magazine Purple in which she's topless and simulating a threesome with a male model and a female model — the guy is lying on top of her. Is it a ploy to make Sam Ronson jealous? America's Next Top Model Nicole Fox says: "If there is any opportunity for me to model — I'll take the job." Lastly: Check out these weird courtroom sketches of Nicole RIchie, Amy Winehouse and Paris Hilton. (See image 13.)
Grade: D+ (callouses)

From In Touch

From In Touch

From In Touch

From Us

From Star

From Life & Style

From Life & Style

As some commenters pointed out, Grey's words in Newsweek, though unfairly slammed by Kathryn Jean Lopez, were actually kind of annoying. In response to the Mark Sanford scandal, she wrote,

Americans act so shocked when they hear about politicians, celebrities, and athletes having affairs, but I have to believe that many women who are married to men with power are aware of affairs, and accept it. Don't ask, don't tell; as long as they receive something in exchange from their husband-whether that exchange be children, money, material items, or sex. We create our own morals. It's once the affair goes public that morals change. The wife feels shame and humiliation because of public awareness, yet felt no desire to speak out prior. [...] Ideally, we should all openly have something extra on the side.

Commenter Old Jean Gallagher called this response "shockingly victim-blaming," which is pretty accurate. Grey criticizes political wives for making a public stink about their husbands' cheating, and sort of implies that they are all violating some previously agreed-upon quid pro quo. But while we may "create our own morals," when we're in relationships we need to agree on some of them, and it's unlikely that all wives of powerful men agree, even tacitly, to infidelity. As to her suggestion that we should all have something on the side, that's just as prescriptive as saying we should all be monogamous.

Grey seems much more thoughtful in her Dazed Digital interview with John-Paul Pryor. Pryor asks, "Do you think without prostitution and pornography there would be more instances of rape and so on? Or do you think that they actually allow for an arena where those kinds of abuses can take place?" The idea that porn and prostitutes act as a safety valve for men's natural desire to rape isn't new, but it is offensive — luckily, Grey handles it pretty well:

I think it depends. You have women on the street who are obviously being abused and they have pimps, I mean all you have to do is watch a few documentaries to see what that's like and how raw it is. That just perpetuates the negative stereotypes of prostitution, or pimping, or the johns. And then you have the women like Christine – they are like call girls, and they might not have a pimp; they are doing it on their own. I don't think that those necessarily perpetuate the abuse and the violence, but in the same vein, I don't think they help stop it at all. But the guys who are paying for the higher echelons don't beat the girls up – well, that's generally speaking from the research we did, maybe some politicians are going to go out there and beat some girls up, I don't know.

She makes the streetwalker-versus-call girl distinction that's been so much in the news lately, but she's careful to qualify it. She recognizes that just because she hasn't heard of violence against call girls doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Here's Grey on sex and communication:

Well, I just think it's 2009 and we're still so afraid to talk about sex. I think ignorance breeds fear and vice versa and the less you know the more negative things can happen, such as teenage pregnancy or the skyrocketing rate of STDs in young adults. It is about sexual freedom but it's about more than that, it's about communication and talking and learning. I think people are so afraid to do that; people are afraid of the truth – we'd rather hide inside a bubble.

And on acting:

I think the technical aspects and the people and the crews are all very similar but as far as performances go, I really hate it when people say, ‘Oh this is reality porn!" No. Because any time you put a camera in front of anybody, even if they have never been in front of a camera, they are going to act differently. For me, pornography is performing – it is what it is and I am an extension of myself, I am hyper me, whereas in a film like this, I am doing character research and I am stepping into the shoes of someone else, and I am thinking about my mannerisms.

It's nice to hear someone point out that pornography isn't real without denigrating it — Grey's words remind us that we can enjoy porn as a performance without expecting our actual sex lives to mimic it. Throughout the interview, she comes off as smart and appreciative of nuance — Kathryn Jean Lopez is missing out by dismissing her. However, Grey's also only 21 years old. While in most of the interview she sounds very mature and articulate, she occasionally makes statements like this one: "Before Christianity and Catholicism took over most people were in poly-amorous relationships."

I don't have the entire sexual history of the pre-Christian world at my fingertips, but I do know a little bit about Greece and Rome in the centuries immediately BCE, and I know that while upperclass men there often did have sex with multiple partners, the lives of their wives were pretty rigidly circumscribed. Of course, this doesn't mean women never had "something on the side," and it's frankly a little hard to tell who was screwing who thousands of years ago, especially among groups that didn't leave written records. But men were trying to control women's sexual behavior long before Christ, and the idea of a polyamorous pre-Christian golden age doesn't really hold water.

Maybe it's ageist of me to chalk up some of Grey's more sweeping statements to the fact that she's barely old enough to buy booze. I'm a half-decade older, and while I bet I could beat her in an ancient-history trivia contest, I may not actually know more about relationships. K. Lo's apparently 33, but being old enough to run for Senate hasn't taught her not to judge other people's personal choices. Grey can be judgmental too, but even in her short and very public life, she's managed to learn the value of "communication and talking and learning." A 21-year-old could do a lot worse.

Sasha Grey / The Girlfriend Experience [Dazed Digital]

Related: Governor Sanford's Appalachian Adventure

Earlier: Newsweek Too Hot For National Review Writer

Wine Cake.

Now, I'm a decent cook. I delight in multi-day recipes and serious desserts, can whip up a 30-pound turkey and am the designated gravy-meister at my house. I pore over cookbooks and this year's variations like everybody else and can debate brining and what to do if, against Cook's Illustrated's explicit instructions, you absolutely insist on stuffing your turkey (bring it to some absurd temperature in the microwave first, of course.) And I'm not saying wine cake is what you want to make for your FCI entrance exam, or even for snootie foodies. But in all other cases, Wine Cake is a sort of O-positive of desserts.

My grandmother was the worst cook you'll ever meet - her cooking was a combination of passive-aggression and performance art and rotten ingredients and to be avoided whenever possible. The one exception was Wine Cake, which goes to show that it's fool-proof. Wine Cake is the traditional birthday cake on that side of the family, a tradition I've continued. It's one of those objectively revolting, 1950s-style recipes that makes no bones about its chemical antecedents and becomes more unfashionable every year. In a bid for respectability, I once worked out an all-natural version, but it just made me miss the original. Friends of mine have brought Wine Cake to feuding families and CIA picnics and block parties, and it's always a hit. Anyone can make it. So, without further ado, I give you:

Sherry Wine Cake

1 box yellow cake mix (I like Moist Deluxe, but grandma always used generic, so.)
1 lg. regular vanilla pudding (or just use 2 small)
1 c. oil
3/4 c. sherry wine (cheap, please)
5 eggs

Preheat oven to 350
Mix everything. Bake in a buttered-and-floured bundt pan for about 50 minutes, until the proverbial tester comes out clean.

Glaze:
1 cup powdered (confectioner's) sugar
1/2 cup sherry, or less. The point is, you want a quite liquid glaze.

Now, here is the crucial part. Without unmolding the hot cake, poke the exposed top - really the bottom! - all over, and I do mean all over, with a skewer, a chopstick, or a fork. Now, drizzle a goodly amount of glaze over the holes. It'll absorb.

Let it sit for another couple of minutes, just so it doesn't all run out. Then, unmold onto a rack. Or the serving dish, I guess, if you don't mind icing all over. If you do use the rack, do yourself a favor and put some waxed paper underneath. Now, repeat the pricking and pouring routine all over the rest of the cake. Soak it well! Now, let it cool.

After the cake is cool, I like to glaze again, this time with a thicker icing (just dump more sugar into the dregs of the glaze.) Drizzle this thicker, white icing over the cooled, glazed cake. Let firm up.

Et voila! Trust me, vile as this may sound, it's scrumptious in a mid-century sort of way. Do not dismiss it without trying it, like those most irritating of all Epicurious commenters. People will hate themselves for it, but they won't be able to stop eating it, or making it, or trying to figure out what makes it so moist. If you are a no-fun ascetic, I suppose you need not glaze quite so heavily; I must admit, my grandmother was not quite so enthusiastic in this department. But in my opinion, it's the 1/2" of sugary lusciousness - so rich and damp a cake, as Captain Hook would have it - that makes this so good. It is customary, in my family, to stick a fat pink candle in the hole. This may be omitted.

And if you just can't stomach it, here's another wonderful dessert. This one respectable. So, give: what's your fail-safe?

For starters, those earrings on the cover are $19,600. They're not just earrings, see, they're 7.67 natural amoeba diamond slice earrings in 18K gold with colored diamonds. Plus, they possess the power to hypnotize!

This, friends, is a candle. A pretty candle, and yet: something you set fire to. $395. Are you feeling witty yet?

Rose gold chain with diamonds, $4900. Skinny jeans, $194. Hairdo that involves refereeing a cock fight: Priceless.

This Lacoste polo featuring a crocodile clusterfuck is a limited edition collaboration with Brazilian designers Humberto and Fernando Campanas and "reflects their commitment to creative chaos and triumphantly simple solutions." Witty! And $165.

"You can pretend to be serious; you cannot pretend to be witty." — Sascha Guitry

Honestly, I like the idea of peppering the catalog with witticisms, like this one, even though I had never heard of Sacha Guitry. I looked him up! He was a French actor, dramatist and director who wrote his first play at age 17. He wrote and directed and acted in Pasteur, a biography of the famous scientist; and there's something in his IMDb biography about how he lived a lavish lifestyle while the Germans occupied France in the '40s… He was jailed for a few months after the liberation of Paris. He was married five times, all to actresses who co-starred in either his plays or films. And! His name was apparently spelled Sacha, not Sascha.

But none of this is the point! The point is: That hair bauble, which would most certainly instantly fall out of my hair and through a sewer grate, is $1,990.

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." — Carl Jung

"Show me someone willing to pay $2,900 for these earrings and I will show you someone rich and dumb." — Yours truly.

There's a Dorothy Parker quote on the lingerie page, where $125 gets you a strip of silk for romantic, light BDSM evenings.

Dammit, if I had $365 and poor eyesight, I would love a pair of Albert Maysles glasses. He directed Grey Gardens! He's avuncular! He rocks! And the Maysles Institute in Harlem is a nonprofit organization that provides training and apprenticeships to underprivileged individuals. And you can see movies there, too!

A "choosing between two evils" quote on page where both items are made of rabbit fur? Witty?

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" —Abraham Lincoln.

New idea: LOLFoundingFathers.

Oh, hey, if this loose, body-disguising psuedo-homeless style looks familiar, it's because these garments are from The Row, aka Mary-Kate and Ashley's clothing line. $490 for the cardigan, $225 for the tank and $1,700 for the pants. That's $2,145 to look like you just rolled out of bed and threw on some laundry from your floordrobe.

Since alligators have been seen in the Mississippi River, a Mark Twain quote on this page is actually an inspired choice.

Barneys New York [Official Site]

Earlier: Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Dean & Deluca Thanksgiving: Mouth-Watering, Wallet-Emptying
All previous catalog posts

We know Sarah Palin isn't the biggest fan of Vogue, but we think she'd do really well guest-editing her own issue. So we've worked up a sample cover in the style of our Cover Lies feature (in which we expose how little relationship ladymags, like Sarah Palin, have to reality). While the real Vogue bows to the recession with its $300 "Steal" of the Month, Palin could show us how to get a $150,000 wardrobe for free — and how to pick a $700/night hotel, complete with robe and slippers. In lieu of book reviews, she could offer up a bunch of snide remarks about Katie Couric — "the perky one" probably can't read anyway. And for balance, Palin could add some media elite contributors, like Trig-birther Andrew Sullivan and Rebecca Johnson. (Johnson works for the fake America but the real Vogue, and says all Palin wanted to talk about in her much-maligned interview was "drilling for oil" — but what else is there, anyway?) In fact, right after a Jeffrey Steingarten piece on moose-meat, Going Vogue should include a free sample of premium Alaska crude. We hear it gets rid of both wrinkles and endangered wildlife.

Fact Check: Palin's Book Goes Rogue On Some Facts [AP, via Yahoo News]
Palin's Katie Couric Myths [Daily Beast]
Palin's Ego Trip [Daily Beast]

Jon almost seemed manic. And for all his talk about making changes, growing up, and being a the best father he can be, he sounded like a first-semester NYU student.


Jon also talked about how he has to work on his relationship with Hailey. Kate said that the kids don't know about "girlfriends." Speaking specifically about Hailey, Kate said, "I don't envision a future there involving my kids…at all."


During one of his custody visits, Jon planned on setting up a lemonade stand with the kids to raise money for the local fire department. He wouldn't allow the twins (the two older girls) to participate, because one of them had made a remark about how she prefers doing things with her mother. Later, at the lemonade stand, Jon wore a shirt that read, "Lies, Lies, Lies," while he sold the drinks to paparazzi.


Kate gives her final thoughts on the series coming to an end, and how she never intended for Jon to not be in "the driver's seat."

Details of Kim's death are still emerging. This morning, Paris Match wrote that sources inside the police investigation say the model left a suicide note. Fellow gossip title Le Parisien stated that "multiple sources" are saying that Kim's father, a Samsung executive, does not believe his daughter killed herself. Kim's mother flew to Paris on Friday, and her father arrived in the city today. An autopsy is to be performed tomorrow — standard police procedure for violent deaths — and the pathologist's findings may be known as soon as the end of this week.

Friends of the young model are also speaking to the press. Several people told the Telegraph that Kim, in the words of reporter Kim Willshire, "had become fed up with modeling and its demands, considering her life was too frenetic and incompatible with forming the sort of long-term relationship she hankered for." Another anonymous friend said Kim would sometimes dodge her agency's calls in order to carve out some time for herself. One of Kim's former agents said, "She was an excellent model, but she used to say she had hard times off the job."

But the richest source of information on Daul Kim remains her blog. The temptation of recent posts that referenced feeling "mad depressed and overworked," a poem that reads in part, "i just know / the more i gain / the more lonely it is," and, most of all, the fact that her last post was titled "say hi to forever," has apparently been too much for major news sources to resist. These mostly quote selectively, ignoring the fact that Kim said she felt depressed and overworked in Seoul and was happy to be leaving for Paris, that Kim titled virtually all of her posts with "say hi to..." and that the post in question was just a YouTube clip of one of her favorite house DJ's tracks, and that in her poem, the lines about feeling lonely were followed directly by lines about falling in love. "but when people grow together," wrote Kim, "its something that is not easy but is nice / and that is something."

It's probably a good thing Kim died in Paris, not in New York, or else we'd have to contend with Geraldo Rivera's opinions of her verse, and television cameras filming the removal of her body, as we were treated to last year, when 20-year-old Kazakh model Ruslana Korshunova jumped to her death in the financial district.

It's understandable that reporters would look to a blog for insight into its author's mind when the author is no longer available for questioning, but it should be done in such a way that the excerpts accurately reflect the whole. Kim often wrote about being busy, yes, and sometimes seemed lonely — but she also wrote about loving Milan Kundera, Klaus Kinski, and Boy George, joked about how she would make a good wife one day, and posted pictures of her paintings. (She had a solo show in Seoul in 2007.) In one of her earliest posts to I Like To Fork Myself, she wrote mock-seriously about ending her life, and then immediately followed up: "KIDDING. I'm fine. Just tired." The overwhelming impression given in her blog wasn't that of a depressive lost soul crying out for help in post after tragically ignored post: it was of a smart young woman with an interesting life, managing bewildering array of responsibilities with a wickedly dark sense of humor. And some issues with insomnia. Not everything in her life should now be re-evaluated in light of her death. To try and turn it all into a series of "signs" diminishes the person that she was.

While it's natural that her next of kin would want to put a stop to quoting out of context, Kim's words have already been featured in articles published from here to Australia. The "I know I'm like a ghost" quote, the "mad depressed and overworked" quote, they're out there. They will be repeated from article to article, from broadsheet to broadsheet to tabloid to tabloid, until all context is erased. Ending access to Kim's blog, while it may tamp down interest in the short term, in essence only serves to deny interested parties a chance to glimpse the wider context of Kim's life. Or at least to see her life as she wished it to be understood. While of course, in the case of a 20-year-old's death, there are no parties more "interested" than her actual family, blogging was evidently important to Kim — she found time to write sometimes several times daily, even as she traveled to three or four countries in a week — and in my opinion, it would be a shame if the record of her life Kim chose to publish were to go permanently dark after her death.

I Like To Fork Myself [Official Site]
Daul Kim: Model 'Had Become Fed Up With Work' [Telegraph]
Daul Kim, La Jolie Fleur S'est Fanée [Paris Match]
Daul Kim S'est-Elle Vraiment Suicidée? [20Minutes.fr]
Enquête Relancée Après Le Suicide Du Mannequin Daul Kim [Le Parisien]
I Know I'm Like A Ghost: A Cry For Help Before Dying [Sydney Morning Herald]

Earlier: 5 Fashion Model Blogs That Are Actually Interesting

Whatever you're planning to wear to your company Christmas party is nowhere near as good as this. A red suit is clearly what your life has been lacking. Don't like this one?

Try one like this instead.

Or this.

Or perhaps emerald green is more your thing.

It goes on like this for pages and pages and pages! After a while, you start wearing down — believing that, yes, what you need to be wearing is a fancy skirt suit and a hat.

An elegant black ensemble is probably what I'd choose. No word on whether it comes with Jeeves, to help you out of cars.

All-over floral worries me. And I am, admittedly, a magpie maximalist: I like sequins and flowers and rhinestones and doodads. But I fear that wearing something like this would make me look like the new Von Trapp nanny who's gotten into the curtains. Or wallpaper.

Statuesque posture, unshakable confidence: Required; not included.

Sometimes overtly "feminine" fashion — adorned with flower blooms or buds and other veiled vaginal references — can be delicate, demure… almost weak. This, for some reason, reads "strength." …And "vulva-esque."

Did I mention that Ashro has a wig section?

Man, I love that the wigs come in gray. That means that somewhere out there, some sassy grandma is wearing this sassy cut.

Asymmetrical even!

So, here's why I have the Ashro catalog: I once ordered a caftan. To blog from home in. Feels slightly more appropriate than pajamas when the UPS guy shows up.

I can't vouch for the "approrpriate-ness" of the other casual wear Ashro offers, however…

Ashro [Official Site]

Earlier: 19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Dean & Deluca Thanksgiving: Mouth-Watering, Wallet-Emptying
All previous catalog posts