Maybe we should call this post the worstCover Lies, as the most egregiously mendacious covers are often the most fun to mock. Regardless, here's a little tour of what some of the glossies were really saying in 2009.
Christmas is very important to Dolly, and over the years, she's written songs for the occasion, and starred in numerous Christmas specials and TV movies. Here, we collected some of our favorite Dolly holiday songs.
Be thankful if you still have a job: After the hell year that was 2009, a lot of fashion people don't. Many designers were fired, some were hired, and plenty lost their businesses altogether. An overview of the tumult:
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Every Wednesday, we read the tabloids so you don't have to. This week, Angie's pregnant (again), Jen takes a break from pining for Brad to host a chili cook-off, and we learn how to achieve an unhealthy glow Jersey Shore-style.
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Naomi Wolf calling the Sex and the City narrative "radical"? Sounds like a spoof, but yesterday in The Guardian, Wolf does just that - even saying Carrie Bradshaw is an symbol of the progression of women in pop culture.
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On last night's episode, Catelynn and Tyler—who gave their daughter up for adoption so that she could have a better life than they could give her—continued to get shit for their (selfless!) decision from Tyler's ex-con father.
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Unsurprisingly, the just-released trailed for Sex And The City 2 doesn't give up much in the way of plot points. But it seems clear the movie offers both the familiar indulgences and a few attempts at mixing it up.
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For January,V made the questionable decision of pairing plus-size model Crystal Renn with straight-size model Jacquelyn Jablonksi, in the same outfits. The magazine says this "proves fashion can flatter any figure." We say, why pit one woman against another?
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Of all the overblown celebrity "feuds" of the decade, the undisputed crown goes to the Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Aniston fight for Brad Pitt - but interestingly, this never ending battle can be traced back to the funny papers.
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Yesterday, around 30 protesters held a rally outside Ralph Lauren's NYC flagship to demand that the company stop using images of models who've been Photoshopped into unreality for its advertisements. Protest organizers said they even envision a legislative solution.
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Between Jen and Brad's sexting, multiple Jolie-Pitts who never materialized, and the Obamas' baby, this was an exciting year in the tabloids. Too bad those stories were totally fake! Let's take a look back at all "news" that never was.
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Ultimately, an autopsy will determine how Brittany Murphy died. For now, we know enough about how she lived to detect some depressingly familiar themes about how she lived: needy, agitated, ever-shrinking, drawn to an apparently unsavory man as a protector.
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How does a celebrity keep a fading, potentially unflattering story about digital manipulation alive? She gets her legal counsel to intervene with a stern missive to bloggers that, like many women's magazine images, bears little to no resemblance to reality.
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You will probably read this in every story surrounding Brittany Murphy's passing: 2009 was a year for celebrity deaths, and hers will be yet another to put on the list. But that doesn't make her death any less shocking.
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The Year's 10 Best Cover Lies
Have A Dolly Parton Christmas
Lindsay Lohan, Christian Lacroix, And Every Celebrity Clothing Line Known To Man: Fashion Failures And Successes Of 2009
This Week In Tabloids: Angie's "So Lonely" & The Jersey Shore Kids Are Injecting Tanner
Naomi Wolf: Carrie Bradshaw Is An Aughts Icon
Naomi Wolf calling the Sex and the City narrative "radical"? Sounds like a spoof, but yesterday in The Guardian, Wolf does just that - even saying Carrie Bradshaw is an symbol of the progression of women in pop culture. More »Teen Mom: When Parents Of Parents Make Bad Choices
Sex And The City 2 Trailer: Dudes and Dunes
Kick Ass Features 11-Year-Old Hit Girl
Bright Star, Dimmed: On "Female" Movies And Being Overlooked At Awards Season
Why have Jane Campion's well-reviewed Bright Star and its star Abbie Cornish so far been ignored in the awards race? There are several theories. More »January Vogue: Everything Old Is ... Still Old
V Magazine Can't Put A Plus Size Model In Its Pages Without A Straight Size Model For Comparison
For January, V made the questionable decision of pairing plus-size model Crystal Renn with straight-size model Jacquelyn Jablonksi, in the same outfits. The magazine says this "proves fashion can flatter any figure." We say, why pit one woman against another? More »The Biggest Tabloid-Fueled "Feud" of The Decade:
Betty vs. VeronicaJennifer vs. AngelinaThe Passion Of The Parsnip: Vegetarianism And The Feelings Of Plants
Women Protest Ralph Lauren's Ridiculous Photoshop
Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
Retro Photoshop Of Horrors: The Mischa Barton Hand Job Of 2004
Brittany Murphy And The Hollywood Starlet Syndrome
Is Women's Empowerment All About Buying Shit?
Lies, Hollywood Lawyers & The Continuing Case Of Demi's Left Leg
Girl, Interrupted: The Life & Death Of Brittany Murphy
You will probably read this in every story surrounding Brittany Murphy's passing: 2009 was a year for celebrity deaths, and hers will be yet another to put on the list. But that doesn't make her death any less shocking. More »8 Things Learned From Jersey Shore's Talk Show Appearances