I can't tell you how many times I've said, like Portman, "I love food, I love eating, I'm pretty adventurous with different flavors and cuisines, and the one thing is, I'm a vegatarian" — and watched people's faces fall. Being "adventurous" and being vegetarian really aren't mutually exclusive — because cutting out meat forced me to vary my diet more, I now eat a much wider variety of foods than I did when I was omnivorous. And I'm a lot less "picky" than some of my meat-eating friends, many of whom turn up their noses at vegetables — I often say I'll eat anything as long as it isn't meat. As I've written here before, I do eat seafood now, so my family and friends are a little less freaked out, but some omnivores still seem to find my diet mysterious. Yesterday's Top Chef may explain why. Below are four common myths about vegetarian cooking, as illustrated on the show (and yeah, also some spoilers).

— Vegetarian food lacks protein.

Only if you do it wrong — like, say, the hapless Mike, who thought some undercooked leeks shaped like scallops could be a main dish. The point of vegetarian cooking isn't to make food look like meat or shellfish — as in all other cuisines, it's to make delicious and satisfying dishes. And while a vegetarian can get by with a breakfast of fruit or a salad lunch sometimes, everybody needs some protein to feel full and be healthy. Luckily there are a bazillion vegetarian sources of protein. Many vegetarians still eat cheese, eggs, and milk, but for those who don't, there are lots of protein-rich beans, nuts, seeds, and grains, and these can be combined into dishes that are a lot more tasty than some scallop-shaped leeks. For instance, I like to cook up a bunch of quinoa (quite proteiny, and pretty cheap if you can get it in bulk— if you can't, couscous or brown rice would work), add sauteed red peppers, spinach, olives, walnuts, and spices, and then wrap the thing in a tortilla and call it a burrito. I usually add a bunch of goat cheese to this, but for vegans, some truffle oil will do the job, or just plain old olive oil. An important note: mushrooms don't actually have all that much protein, though they often appear in lieu of meat on restaurant menus. Which brings me to my next myth.

— Vegetarians need a "meaty" substitute.

This one has a grain of truth — it is nice to eat something with a little savory, umami flavor, and mushrooms do provide that. I also like soy-based fake meats like MorningStar "bacon" and veggie crumbles for this purpose, even though a lot of vegetarians disdain them. Yes, they're a little pricey and not so great for the environment, but I tend to treat them the same way many cultures treat meat — as a seasoning, not a main dish. A little fakon in chili makes it taste like a whole different dish, which can be good if you're cooking for yourself and end up with a lot of leftovers. But all that said, I was kind of troubled to notice that so many of the chefs rushed for either eggplant or mushrooms to serve as the centerpiece for their dishes. I guess it's a texture thing, but these two foods appeared as the "vegetarian option" in my college dining halls more times than I can count, and while they can be tasty, they're not the be-all and end-all. Vegetarians don't need every meal to include a slab of something meat-like (and unfortunately, those college portobello mushroom sandwiches were often just that: a slab). One of my favorite dishes lately is a bunch of dandelion greens wilted with onions and garlic and olives and rosemary. I usually eat this with scrambled eggs and toast, but vegans could add white beans for an equally tasty protein kick — no meat "substitute" needed. And if you don't have dandelion greens, spinach works.

— Vegetarian food is just a "collection of sides."

Natalie Portman complained that vegetarian options at a restaurant often feel like side dishes, and I see where she's coming from. I don't really have a problem making a meal of sides, especially on Thanksgiving at my grandparents' house (I haven't officially told them I don't eat meat; I'm still letting them process the fact that I work for a "blog"). But sometimes I do want something main-dishy, not just a heap of kale and a bowl of beans and some bread (although this is pretty good). And just because you can't center a vegetarian meal around a hunk of meat doesn't mean you can't center it at all. A good solution to the problem, especially in fall and winter, is roasting, since nothing's more main-dishy than a roast. I like to chop up a bunch of red potatoes, sweet potatoes, green and red peppers, garlic, and onions, and stick them in the oven for an hour with rosemary and feta. Vegans could ditch the feta, add something else for extra flavor (like maybe hot chiles), and serve the whole thing with hummus on the side. This dish is real easy and cheap and great for potlucks.

— Vegetarian food can't be filling.

Kevin won the challenge with his dish of morels and turnips, which Portman and the other judges found both delicious and satisfying. Morels are, as you may know, fucking expensive, but the point is, it's possible to make a vegetarian meal just as filling as a meat-based one. It helps to remember the protein (though Kevin didn't actually seem to include much of that), but it's also important — at least in my view — not to be too afraid of fat. For some people, vegetarianism is synonymous with abstemiousness, and these are the same people who think a vegetarian meal always has to leave you hungry. I'm not saying you have to add a cup of sesame oil to everything (as a vegan housemate of mine used to do before we finally set him straight). I'm just saying that some olive oil, butter, cream, goat cheese, Earth Balance, or even avocado adds flavor and body to a vegetarian meal. For instance, brussels sprouts: they're okay if you boil them, but if you cut them in half and saute them in some butter or Earth Balance (plus garlic and rosemary and pepper), they're way more delicious. I like to eat this with Annie's mac and cheese from the box, which probably would not appear on Top Chef — but that doesn't mean it's not awesome.

• Morgan Freeman is planning to marry his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines, who he raised since she was a child... if you believe The National Enquirer.

• E'Dena is the granddaughter of his first wife, but Morgan raised her with his second wife. It's alleged his long, secret relationship with E'Dena is what led to his ongoing divorce from his second wife. [National Enquirer]
• Jim Carrey is going to be a grandpa! His daughter Jane Carrey and her boyfriend Alex Santana are expecting their first child. "I am very excited," said Jim, "Jane is going to be a great mom." [Radar Online]
• In an interview with Larry King, Michael Jackson's dermatologist Arnie Klein admitted that he gave him Demerol, but only "on occasion" to sedate him. He said he donated to a sperm bank once, but not specifically to MJ, and said at one point that he's not the father of Michael's kids. [TMZ]
• Two sources close to the Jacksons said Janet Jackson tried to stage an intervention for Michael Jackson two years ago with the help of her brothers, but MJ just ordered security to stop letting family members in and even stopped taking calls from his mom. "If you tried to deal with him, he would shut you out," one source said. "You just wouldn't hear from him for long periods." [CNN]
• People couldn't figure out how Michael Jackson's casket got out of the Staples Center undetected, but it has been revealed that it was taken though an underground maintenance tunnel and loaded into a van, which took the casket to a refrigerated mortuary storage at an undisclosed location. Mystery solved! [E!]
• According to California law, Joe and Katherine Jackson get the final decision in where to bury Michael. [MSNBC]
• In a new interview Nadya Suleman talks about Michael Jackson's death, because obviously we're just dying for her input. As for the reports that Michael wanted to adopt her octuplets, she says, "That's funny. That's a rumor." [Radar Online]
• The BBC has received 473 complaints about its coverage of Michael Jackson's memorial service. Most were complaining that two channels were devoted to the service, and others were annoyed that their shows were preempted. [The Telegraph]
• Maureen McCormick says that Eve Plumb is the only Brady Bunch cast member who won't be on Oprah's reunion show next season because she's upset about a lesbian rumor Maureen started as a joke. Eve said through her agent: "No one from Oprah called. We haven't turned down anything. There is no feud." [The Daily Express]
• In what is possibly the most insane lawsuit ever, a woman who calls herself the "most beautifiliest angel lusefer" and claims to be the "reincarnation of Venus Aphrodite Demilo" is suing Hugh Hefner for $3 billion because she claims he's part of a pedophile ring and hid under her bed when she was five so he could assault her. [TMZ]
• Red City Entertainment is suing Lil Wayne because the group allegedly paid him $432,000 for a concert appearance in the Bahamas, but he didn't show up. When police went to investigate, they found Lil Wayne unconscious in his hotel room. [TMZ]
• WTF? Someone vandalized Ed McMahon's Hollywood Walk Of Fame star. [LAist]
• Debbie Matenopoulos and Jay Faires divorce still isn't over because they're fighting over their $4.3 million house. Faires wants to sell it but Matenopoulous is stalling. [TMZ]
• Patricia Arquette has called off her divorce from Hung star Thomas Jane. [TMZ]
• Mariska Hargitay says she was "so scared" when she suffered a collapsed lung on the set of Law and Order: SVU while doing a stunt. "At first I thought I had the wind knocked out of me," she said, so she just ignored the injury for three months. She kept experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath and eventually she realized she needed help when it worsened and she felt, "sort of like someone stabbed me. I went down on one knee and just couldn't catch my breath." [People]
• The sixth season of Top Chef will premiere on August 26 and Natalie Portman will guest star in an episode this season. [E!]
• In her most recent GOOP newsletter, Gwyneth Paltrow writes that she was about to drop a few pounds recently thanks to a juice detox diet. "I feel pure and happy and much lighter," she wrote, "I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly fun and delicious 'relax and enjoy life phase' about a month ago... This program allowed me to work and exercise regularly, something I cannot do if I am on a liquid-only detox." [Us]
• Bono has been granted permission by the city of Dublin to install a wood-pellet boiler to heat his Victorian mansion. [The Independent]
• A homeless man Stephen Baldwin let live on his property in New York was busted for heroin possession. Baldwin was trying to help him get his life back together. [TMZ]
• Fifteen dogs will be selected to appear in the national tour of the 101 Dalmatians Musical. Most will be rescue dogs. [USA Today]
• Do you want to look like Heidi Pratt? If so, check out her new downloadable workout series. [People]
• Tom Green and Lindsay Lohan both recently claimed that their Twitter accounts were hacked, but E! thinks it may be a convenient excuse for when a Tweet doesn't go over well. [E!]
• Joel Madden says British Airways never apologized for making him cover up his tattoos before boarding their flight. "I wasn't really mad about it," he said. "But after the fact, I go, That was really wrong, actually." Still, he's not going to sue. [E!]
• You'd think with all the Hitler and Josef Fritzl jokes, Austrians wouldn't like Bruno, but they're embracing the film. "This man is proud of his homeland, so we're proud of him," said one woman, "Austria has a new ambassador. Thanks, Bruno!" [Breitbart]
• Sinitta, who dated Simon Cowell on and off for 16 years says, "On and off, because Simon was a horrible cheat! He was a horrible cheat. He was always disappearing and stuff, you know, and I'd have to work and he'd almost be laughing as he waved me off on a plane to Japan, like: 'Great, I'm going to have a really good time while you're away'." He allegedly hit on her sister and her best friend while they were together. [The Sun]
• Hayden Panettiere says she was bullied in high school: "I was tortured, emotionally tortured by these girls. Every time I came back from filming, it would be me trying to find my way back into the clique. And they weren't having it." [Just Jared]
• Roseanne Barr has decided it's a good time to go after Michael Jackson on those molestation charges. She wrote on her blog: 'If Michael Jackson thought Jordie's dad was ripping him off, he should have stood up in court and fought, like innocent people do. Innocent people do not choose to avoid trials where they are accused of sexually abusing children. They fight, knowing that this is the worst thing in the world to be accused of if innocent. They do not pay millions of dollars to make non existent charges go away! For any celeb to have been a part of glorifying and excusing the unforgivable actions of an obviously guilty predator, I say...Shame on you." [Roseanne World]
• "I'll literally pay three Hollywood readers who don't know me to read my scripts under the radar and give cold comments. And at the early screenings of my movies, I'll hand out questionnaires that can be filled out anonymously so people can be brutally honest because to your face they won't be. I'll take the papers home, read them by myself, cry and go 'My God, that was the coolest scene and everybody hates it!' But that's fine because my goal is to always make it better." — Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. [Reuters]
• Margaret Cho on the last time she made a wish: "I was eating a breakfast taco at the airport, and I found an eyelash in it. I was so disgusted, but I ate it anyway because I was hungry and tired. I wonder if I still get to make a wish. And if I do, it'd be 'I wish I didn't eat that taco.'" [OK]

But, seriously, look around the next time you're out to dinner somewhere nice. Chances are, the executive chef is a man. At the end of Top Chef Season 3, New York Magazine interviewed seven prominent female chefs in New York about sexism in the industry. All of them had stories about being ignored by everyone from colleagues to vendors, about the difficulty of finding investors to open your own restaurant or worrying about being a "gimmick" chef due to gender, and about how "girls" go into pastry because baking is considered more of a woman's job in a professional kitchen. The most prominent chefs in the country (and on television) are men, the biggest and most difficult-to-get-into restaurants in any city usually have kitchens run by men, and, heck, the nicer the restaurant, the more likely it is for even the waitstaff to be male. Many of us rhapsodize about Mom's home cooking, but we vote for Dad's fancy steaks when we're out and about without even thinking about it.

So, the next time you're out for a nice dinner, maybe take your feminism along and make a point to patronize a place where a woman's in charge of more than just your seating or your dessert. As Stephanie, Lisa and a lot of other women out there prove, not every woman's place is in the kitchen, but some women work really well there.

Finale Wrap-Up: "Top Chef" [Salon]
A Woman’s Place? [New York Magazine]

• Spencer Pratt is getting an advice column in Radar. "Yo Spencer!" will debut in the April issue; the idea is so dumb it's genius. [USA Today]
  
• The Beckhams went shopping at the Pleasure Chest adult store in Hollywood and stocked up on supplies. "They seemed to know exactly what they wanted," a witness says. What do you think was on their list? Vibes? Lube? The purple penetrator? [The Sun]
  
• Watch Britney's new anime video! [People]
  
• "It pains me to report that on the first day of the shoot, Britney knew her lines better than I knew mine," How I Met Your Mother actor Josh Radnor says. "She's been great to work with." [People]
  
• The CW network is developing a contemporary spinoff of Beverly Hills, 90210. Maybe think of it as a mashup of The OC and Gossip Girl. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• Nicky Hilton says: "There's no truth to any starvation, eating disorders rumors. I think the press has been printing a lot of pictures of me from unflattering angles. My friends see the pictures and they're like, 'Oh my god are you OK?' And then they see me, and they're like 'Oh...' It's really not that interesting or true." [MSNBC]
• Amy Winehouse's father says the fact that he had an mistress when Amy was young is partly to blame for her troubled life — he had a "work wife" while he was still married to Amy's mom. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Is Rachael Ray's syndicated show going off the air? The ratings suck. She'd still have her Food Network shows, though. Unfortch. [Page Six]
• Anne Hathaway: Into absinthe. [Page Six]
• Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi and actor Skeet Ulrich? Hot. [Page Six]
• Three blind items! 1. "Which friendly actor recently fell off the wagon? Though he's been in rehab several times, he was spotted stumbling out of a Hollywood hotel at 7 a.m. looking totally 'wasted.'" 2. "Which young soap starlet made networks execs extremely nervous when she was starting out? She was known for fooling around with her much older producers." 3. "Which Hollywood hunk cheats on his gorgeous model girlfriend all the time? They've been together for a while but he's clearly not ready to settle down." [Page Six]
• Is Paul Newman OK? He's having back problems. Be well! [Rush & Molloy]
• Melissa Joan Hart popped! The actress and her hubs welcomed their second child, a son, on Wednesday. Welcome to the world, Braydon Hart Wilkerson. [People]
• The final Harry Potter book will become two movies; the first is due in November 2010 and the second in May of 2011. [ET]
• Paul McCartney is appearing in ads for PETA — the organization that dumped his estranged wife Heather Mills last year. [Mirror]
• Speaking of Sir Paul — the judge should be ruling on his divorce — and deciding how much cash Heather will get — on Monday. [Yahoo News]
• China's Culture Ministry says it will tighten controls over foreign artists after Björk shouted "Tibet! Tibet!" at a recent concert in Shanghai. China forbids artists from performing content that "harms national unity." [Reuters]
• Patrick Swayze's mom on her son's cancer: "He just doesn't deserve it. He's got such a big heart. He's been such a good and generous and thoughtful person. It breaks my heart to know he's suffering." [Perez Hilton]

• Fergie and actor Josh Duhamel are engaged. We hope Fergie didn't wet her pants when he proposed! [People]
  
• Good news for society, bad news for Paris Hilton: Paris' grandfather, Baron Hilton, has decided to give 97% of his $2.3 billion fortune to charity when he dies. [Reuters]
  
• Lindsay Lohan spent Christmas Eve with Adrian Grenier at his Brooklyn apartment, but they're definitely not a couple. [Page Six]
  
• Also, Lindsay's dad called paparazzi photographers to tip them off to his reunion meeting with Lindsay at the Mercer Hotel. Aw, sweet! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Also: Lindsay's ex, Riley Giles, is selling his personal photos of her to the tabs. Again: How sweet! [MSNBC]
  
• Pete Doherty gave Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil some tips on how to make the best of his prison time. Fielder has also asked Doherty to look out for Winehouse. Oh lord: Not a one of them stands a chance! [The Sun]

• Will Smith: Scientologist? [Page Six]
• Move over, Fergie: I Love New York star Tiffany "New York" Pollard is also engaged: Her future intended is show winner George "Tailor Made" Weisberger... [People]
• ...who is apparently already cheating on her. [Gatecrasher]
• Courtney Love is moving to New York. She bought a townhouse in the West Village. She says on her MySpace blog, "itllcost ...alot...to returjn it to a house biut fbc doesnt need to have all that space til she moves here at 18." [Gothamist]
• But whatever will Courtney fill all that space with after having been robbed yesterday? [Perez Hilton]
• Ah, nevermind: The stolen goods have been returned. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney had to return the kids back to K-Fed after spending Christmas with them. The exchange of progeny took place at a Starbucks, naturally. [Daily Mail]
• Johnny Depp: Too emotionally scarred to ever marry again. [MSNBC]
• Top Chef host / former model/former Mrs. Salman Rushdie Padma Lakshmi dnies that she and "financier" Teddy Forstmann are dating. [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend Justin "Mac Guy" Long: Definitely together, united against parking tickets. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli are definitely back together. [Gatecrasher]
• Also a couple: Gossip Girl co-stars Blake "Serena van der Woodsen" Lively and Penn "Dan Humphrey" Badgley. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston reportedly celebrated Christmas with real-life best Friend Courteney Cox Arquette. [Daily Mail]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown has won the custody battle for her daughter against her ex-husband, Jimmy Gulzar. Which is good, 'cause it's so much more effective when the Spice Girls sing "Mama" in their reunion tour when their very own kids are front and center. [TMZ]

• Wow, "Keith" must be working some serious overtime! Southwest Airlines gave another woman hell for wearing "revealing" clothing, just a week after a woman was nearly booted off a flight for wearing a mini-skirt. Setara Qassim was forced to wear a blanket by a flight attendant because she thought Setara's top was too low cut. Dude, is it just us, or does Southwest seriously have a problem with girls with ample breasts? [NBC6.net]
  
• Eating right, staying active, and watching your weight during pregnancy furthers the chances that your unborn baby will grow into a healthy adult. Memo to Nicole Richie: Eating right, staying active, and watching your weight ups your chances of being a healthy adult too! [Newsweek]
  
• A Top Chef contestant and a small group of her friends were beaten outside of Long Island bar in what appears to be a hate-crime. Josie Smith-Malave, who is gay, says she hopes the perpetrators will be caught and prosecuted on felony hate-crime charges. [Local6.com]

• "Is football too dangerous?" asks Time Magazine. If we say yes, will our boyfriend stop dominating the television Saturday through Monday for four months out of the fucking year? [Time Magazine]
• Seventy-five percent of moms have major nightmares about something horrible happening to their children. See, women carry the bulk of the parenting load, even in their dreams! [MSNBC]
• Children who are exposed to high levels of testosterone in the womb may see symptoms of autism later in life, further evidence that links the male hormone to the disorder. [MSNBC.com]
• Further proof that humans are descended from monkeys: female chimps love bad boys just as much as women do. [MSNBC.com]
• It's the 40th Anniversary of the Abortion Act in the UK, but there's a bit of a debate raging as to how late in a pregnancy a woman can terminate. The Daily Mail has an interesting panel of women who've had abortions weighing in on the discussion. [Daily Mail]
• An 80-year old Iowa woman had "Do Not Resuscitate" tattooed on her body, but doctors are still keeping her on life support because they say the tattoo is not enough proof of her wishes. Do they think "Do Not Resuscitate" is the name of a heavy metal band or something? [Crooks And Liars]
• A woman who is the victim of an alleged rape has sued the judge in the case because he has barred the use of the words rape, victim, and assailant from the courtroom during the trial. The woman was barred from using the words during her testimony, which lasted 13 hours, a clear violation of her first amendment rights. [Law.com]
• A lawsuit against the University of Colorado was reinstated after being dismissed in 2005. The original case stemmed from the gang rape of two women in 2001 by the school's football players and recruits. The suit alleges that CU officials failed to respond adequately to a long history of sexual harassment and assault by school football players and were therefore liable for the environment that allowed the rapes to occur. [Ms.]
• A Vitamin-D deficiency during pregnancy increases the risk of getting pre-eclampsia, the leading cause of premature birth. Trista Sutter — you know, the OG Bachelorette — talks about her personal experience in this week's US Weekly! [Science Daily]

• There is no justice in the world: President Bush has commuted Scooter Libby's jail sentence. [MSNBC]
  
• Pam Anderson is 40. And we are speechless. [People]
  
• Looking for a little real estate to invest in? How about Dracula's castle in Transylvania? It's the summer home that comes with vampires! (Garlic bulbs not included). [ABC News]
  
• A border collie named Smooch saved two drowning kayakers. And up in heaven, Lassie smiles. [USA Today]

• We actually screamed, "Holy shit!" out loud when we (thought) we saw a headline reading, "Bill Hits Hillary On Campaign Trail". Though that misreading would still have been less shocking than if we'd read it as "Bill Hits On Hillary On Campaign Trail." [BBC]
• It's official: Salman "No Longer Hiding Despite The Fatwa" Rushdie and Padma "Please Pack Up You Knives, Top Chef Contestants" Lakshmi have split. [CNN]
• Eva Peron (and Patti Lupone?) would be proud: Argentina's First Lady is running for president in her own right. And somewhere in Iowa, Hillary Clinton feels threatened. [NYT]
• Want to sleep less soundly tonight? Read on: That foiled London car bomb was designed to ensure female casualties. [Slate]
• Speaking of casualties, there have been 12 in the U.S. military since Friday. [DoD]