• Marisa Miller has earned the most coveted position of all the Victoria's Secret runway girls: Wearer Of The Diamond-Studded Bra. Her equipment costs $3 million. "It's surprisingly comfortable," says Miller. Sure looks it. [People]

• Sir Paul Smith would love it "if fashion shows died out completely." The 63-year-old British designer explains, shows are "pure, self-indulgent theatre. How many girls were there this year in horns or neck braces with bare breasts? It wouldn't matter if they didn't take it all so seriously, but the fashion world is a dangerous, superficial and fickle place." [Telegraph]
• Although the press sometimes jumps all over Anna Wintour for repeating her outfits, it's something she does all the time, and will continue to do, because who wears clothes once, for God's sake? "I usually wear the same dress twenty times. I think it's always fun to have something new, but it doesn't mean that everything you already have in your closet has to be thrown out, you know? Recycle." [The Cut]
• The USAToday and W did the hard work of "parsing" Amelia Earhart's style. You know her, she's that woman famous for...wearing pants. [USAToday]
• Donatella Versace tells a Vogue reader who says she would buy clothes in larger sizes, if Versace made them, that "I certainly wouldn't want to do a plus-size line, as I have no problem with women of any size wearing my clothes. I guess some styles lend themselves to being scaled up, while some others just don't work." Versace's own daughter, Allegra, has struggled with anorexia. [Style.com]
• Donatella hosted a party for the Whitney, and a lot of celebrities came. (Since when are Lindsay Lohan and Taylor Momsen "just-wanna-have-fun blondes"?) Also in attendance at what was, you know, an art benefit were Chuck Close and Ellsworth Kelly. [Style.com]
• Meanwhile, that equally tanned and fashionable Italian female, Gucci creative director Frida Giannini, is headed to Yonkers today to cut the ribbon with Mary J. Blige on something called the Mary J. Blige Center for Women. [P6]
• Somebody should tell Mark Ronson that what he has designed for Gucci is not in fact a sneaker, but a boat shoe. The eyelets give it away. [Hypebeast]
• Karl Lagerfeld is heading to Argentina. Lest you think it's to enjoy some steak and a nice Malbec, know this: "I only go to places if I have a professional reason. I'm not a tourist." He'll be shooting Freja Beha Erichsen, Baptiste GIabiconi, and Claudia Schiffer in the next Chanel campaign — what, no Lara Stone? — and researching a book about Argentine architecture. [WWD]
• London Fog's holiday ad campaign features Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. There's got to be a Mad Men joke here somewhere. [People]
• Meanwhile, John Galliano himself has revealed that the spring Dior campaign will star Karlie Kloss. [WWD]
• Grace Kelly and Cartier are each getting stars on the Walk of Style on Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles. [HoustonChronicle]
• Angelina Jolie is apparently in talks with Ridley Scott to star in a film about the 1995 murder of Maurizio Gucci. [Variety]
• Tom Ford, the man Maurizio had hired to revitalize the brand, says he will do women's wear again. Just as soon as he can get financing. [WWD]
• The Times' Critical Shopper, Cintra Wilson, went to Ann Taylor. She didn't expect to like it, but then: "Clothing companies, when they panic, tend to go rococo. They get flashier, busier and more disposable by slapping on bigger logos and more useless bows and frippery. Ann Taylor must be commended for choosing less clutter and better details that aren't always: the finished seams inside a little faille opera jacket; the velvet ribbon inside the waist of a peplum coat; the Italian three-season wool." [NYTimes]
• Iconix Brand Group, the company behind everything from Candie's to Badgley Mischka, has been fined $250,000 by the Federal Trade Commission for violating certain provisions of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act when it collected information during some of its promotions last year. [Crain's]
• Burberry is suing the U.K.-based pet supply store Pets At Home for using a checked fabric the company says is too similar to its own. Pets At Home, which has 250 stores, has pulled the offending products, but the dispute is ongoing. Burberry creative director Christopher Bailey told the New Yorker earlier this year about suing a pet store that advertised a dog cushion "in the famous Burberry check." [Guardian]
• Maybe the answer is that Burberry should make like Mulberry, and do its own line of pet clothes. [FWD]
• More details about the city's planned fashion incubator in the garment district have emerged: New York will subsidize 12 slots in a 10,000 sq. ft. space, reducing the rent from $2,900 to $1,500 a month. The designers, who are being selected right now, will also have access to mentoring and support from the Council of Fashion Designers of America. It's not for students fresh out of school: every designer must have already been in business for at least a year, and employ a staff (even if that staff is volunteer). What a wonderful use for a vacant showroom floor. [NYTimes]
  
• Australian denim brand Ksubi is going to do a lower-priced line with the department store David Jones. And possibly another one with Topshop. [Sassybella]
• Anhropologie is extending its reach across the Atlantic. Its first European store opens on Friday in London. [WWD]

• Chris Brown tried to sit next to Mariah Carey during a private reception after Michael Jackson's memorial. She quickly informed him that she would rather he sit at another table. [Perez Hilton]

• Some have taken Jermaine Dupri's absence from Michael Jackson's funeral as confirmation of the rumors that he and Janet Jackson have split, but a pal says Dupri just "doesn't attend funerals." [Us]
• Janet Jackson has offered to raise Michael Jackson's kids... according to a random Inside Edition reporter. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe is suing the woman who sold Extra the emails in which Rowe said she doesn't really want custody of Michael Jackson's kids for defamation and invasion of privacy. Rowe says the emails are fake and she hasn't spoken to the women recently. [AP]
• Sources say lawyers for Debbie Rowe and Katherine Jackson are close to working out a custody settlement. It looks like Katherine will have custody of the children if a judge agrees. [TMZ]
• Hundreds of stuffed animals and other memorabilia left outside the Motown Historical Museum after Michael Jackson's death were buried in two vaults at Woodlawn Cemetary in Detroit. The cemetary, where Rosa Parks is buried and Diana Ross and the Four Tops have plots reserved, donated the vaults to Jackson along with a granite headstone memorial. [AP]
• The Iowa Fair let people vote online to decide whether or not there would be a butter sculpture made of Michael Jackson. Sixty-five percent voted no so plans for the sculpture have been cancelled. [UPI]
• The song "Home", which LaToya Jackson previously recorded to honor her family is being re-released as a tribute to Michael Jackson. The song will be the first single or LaToya's new album. The proceeds will got to AIDS Project LA. [AP]
• Marlon, Randy, Tito and possibly Jackie Jackson will do a paid performance of Jackson 5 songs at Reggae Sumfest in Jamaica next week. [TMZ]
• Prosecutors have opened a manslaughter investigation after the collapse of the stage being constructed for a Madonna concert in France killed two men and injured eight others. [Entertainment Tonight]
• The same company built the stage for the Madonna and Britney Spears concert at Dodger Stadium in November, which also collapsed. The company released a statement saying, "We were incredibly saddened by the tragic accident ... Two of our Directors have flown out to Marseille to visit the injured and to get a better understanding of what caused the accident ...There is absolutely no technical or other connection between the incident at the Dodgers Stadium in November 2008 and the tragic accident yesterday (July 16 2009) at the Velodrome in Marseille." [TMZ]
• Ne-Yo got sick and left the stage crying during a concert in Manchester, England. People thought he was crying because he was singing a tribute to Michael Jackson, but then he was struggling to move and clung onto a table onstage to keep from falling over. A presenter said he had "a really bad fever." [UPI]
• Lady Gaga was asked to wear a less revealing outfit and not dance provocatively for an appearince on Britain's GMTV yesterday mornign. A source says, "She finally agreed to tone it down. The nation would have been coughing up cornflakes if she'd had her way." [The Daily Express]
• Mark Ronson, who produced Back To Black says, "I heard Amy [Winehouse] was back in town, but I haven't spoken to her yet. I'm working on a new record now, but I would love to work with Amy again. I would definitely like to hear what Amy's been working on - she's an amazing artist, so I would be interested in anything she does." [The Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker went camping in Normandy with husband Tony Parker, who is French. An onlooker said, "Sleeping under canvas obviously agreed with her. She looked gorgeous!" [The Daily Express]
• Security has been tightened on the set of The Fighter after an intruder startled Amy Adams in her trailer. "Amy was getting ready to leave the set when the guy climbed the steps right outside her trailer and said: ‘I'm looking for my cousin,'" said a source. "Amy, who was fully dressed and was with a production worker, yelled out: ‘What the hell are you doing?' and the guy quickly climbed down the stairs before running off." [Radar Online]
• Leelee Sobieski is engaged to menswear designer Adam Kimmel. [Us]
• Ivanka Trump gushes about her new fiance Jared Kushner: "Jared is my best friend for many reasons, largely because I've allowed him to see who I truly am and he still loves me... He's a bit of a hero of mine. His ability to remain focused - he lacks an anxiety that's natural for someone his age handed so much responsibility … Sometimes I catch myself looking at him and being thankful that I have grown to a level of personal maturity that I would value so much the qualities he has." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Ivanka Trump's mother Ivana Trump says, "I am so thrilled about Ivanka's engagement. She and Jared have been a serious couple for a long time, and their happiness has grown as their relationship has deepened." [People]
• Oprah's ratings have slipped by nearly a third since 2004. Some suggest people are suddenly tired of her after 20 years and others think it's an Obama backlash... since Obama is so unpopular right now. [N.Y. Post]
• John Goodman will star in The Station a new FOX comedy about CIA agents trying to install a new dictator in Central America. Sounds hilarious! [Media Week]
• Adrian Grenier showed up late to Live With Regis And Kelly yesterday. "I didn't realize it was live! I thought they just tape it," he said. [The Observer]
• Russell Crowe is in negotiations to reprise his role of Jack Aubrey for a Master and Commander sequel. [Yahoo]
• Mischa Barton may be released from psychiatric evaluation on Saturday. "A 5150 is considered a psychiatric emergency, when a person is deemed a danger to themselves, to others or is gravely disabled," says a psychiatrist who doesn't treat her. "A serious risk of suicide is a primary reason for the hold, as well as those suffering from severe depression or schizophrenia." [People]
• Jon Gosselin has moved into a two bedroom apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side. [People]
• Russell Simmons says his favorite New Yorker is Rev. Al Sharpton. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Here's an analysis of why the ads for Funny People mention that it's a Judd Apatow film but don't print Adam Sandler or Seth Rogan's names. [L.A. Times]
• Kid Rock debuted his American Badass Beer at a his concerts in Detroit this week. He said, "I'm American, that's what I like to drink, and from looking around the parking lot before my shows, I know that's what my fans drink." [UPI]
• Derek and Julianne Hough both received Emmy nominations for a dance they choreographed and performed on Dancing With the Stars I can't think of a better person to be nominated with," said Julianne. "My first time being nominated for an Emmy last year was surreal and awesome, but this time around is more special because Derek and I choreographed to fit our personalities and not the celebrities we dance with on the show." [People]
• Q: You do "hot topics." Doesn't that come from The View?
  Wendy Williams: Yeah. They're the topics and they're hot. What else would I call them?
  Q: You also have a member of the audience introduce you, just like Rosie O'Donnell did.
  Wendy Williams: Are you accusing me of being a thief? Rosie's not using it anymore. Stop being so observant! [Newsweek]
• Marc Anthony scheduled a news conference with the Miami Dophins for next Tuesday. When Gloria Estefan arranged a similar news conference last month she announced that she was becoming a minority owner. [Yahoo]
• Here's the first image from the Broadway production of After Miss Julie, which Sienna Miller and Jonny Lee Miller will star in this fall. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Did you know Vin Diesel has been working behind the camera? He says: "For the mass public I think they probably aren't aware of my directing history but I think when you do the research it becomes super-clear. I think people that know me solely for XXX or Fast And Furious might be a little surprised but I directed a short film called Multi-Facial that was in Cannes," the actor explained. [The Star]
• Taylor Lautner says of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: "The whole cast is really close. It would be difficult for our characters if we weren't. It's a love triangle, and we need to understand each other. So the fact that we're close and can talk things through in rehearsals, and if we're out at dinner, we'll just randomly start talking about the scene we're shooting the next day . . . If we weren't able to do those things, I don't know where we'd be. [The L.A. Times]
• Here's a video of Stephan Jenkins of Third Eye Blind performing a song he says is about being in love with a lesbian [Gothamist]
• Zooey Deschanel says of the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer: "If they were bonding over some shitty band, that would actually make me close the script. But the fact that they liked music that was approved by me, because they're bonding over the Smiths, I was, like, ‘Well, obviously!'" [Rolling Stone]
• Zooey Deschanel gives a more detailed assessment of the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer here: [Esquire]
• "When I first started acting and auditioning, people wanted me to be as generic as possible. When you're going out for the part of 'High School Girl #2,' people want you to be a stereotype. But I was never easily categorized. It was always difficult to reduce me to two sentences. Casting agents don't want unique-they want, 'That girl looks like a bitch,' or, 'That girl looks like a princess.' Eventually, though, you end up building your career on things that are different from other people, but in the beginning it was frustrating. I just try to be myself and as honest as possible-but I have limits." — Zooey Deschanel. [Black Book Magazine]
• An Oompa Loompah was detained by security guards at Florida's Westfield Broward mall earlier today. He had been promoting an upcoming comedy show, but a security officer cuffed him and detained him for several hours. Onlookers laughed and screamed, "Let the Oompa Loompa go!" [Peopel]

• Etta James says when she was ripping Beyoncé about singing "At Last" for the President, "I didn't really mean anything…"

"Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude." Sure, sure. [The Life Files via NY Daily News, ONTD]

• The Obamas were reportedly "stunned" by Etta James' remarks. [TMZ]
• The Times asks, re: Heath Ledger, "So how do you run an Oscar campaign for someone who is no longer with us?" [NY Times]
• Angelina Jolie will produce a film called Resilient, in which Mariane Pearl will interview five women who have overcome odds to bring change to their communities. That's right, Saint Angie has six kids and a movie to create, get out of her way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ryan Reynolds looks Photoshopped into waxy zombie territory on the cover of Men's Health. But good for him for running a marathon to raise funds for Parkinson's. [Socialite Life]
• Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil's divorce could get nasty: Blake Incarcerated is "compiling a dossier" of all the dudes Amy slept with and wants them to testify to prove that Amy was unfaithful during their marriage. What kind of fuckery is this? [The London Paper]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron is being sued by a dude he struck with his car at a gas station a year ago. [TMZ]
• Apparently Kate Hudson's new guy, Aussie golfer Adam Scott, is better for her than Owen Wilson, because Owen would "point out her imperfections all the time" and Kate would always seen pictures of Owen with other women in magazines. Also: Adam is hot. [E!]
• Here's the Sarah Jessica Parker story from Bazaar. SJP talks about being Carrie Bradshaw: "I got to wear such incredible things, and you make such mistakes and there's such hits and great triumphs and there's incredible wrong, wrong, wrong. But it's so much fun." Oh! And she wore an Alexander McQueen dress to an SATC event in New York: "I actually had to cut myself out of that dress that night. My husband was out of town, so I was alone when I got home, and I couldn't unzip it. So…I got out the scissors." [Bazaar]
• Oh, God: Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman just signed on for a romcom called The Baster. They'll play best friends, but when he learns she's gonna get pregnant through artificial insemination, he replaces the donor's semen with his own. This is not a joke. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Here's Lily Allen dressed as a boy in a spoof of a chocolate commercial. [Daily Mail]
• In this article, Liv Tyler invites the interviewer back to her house and talks about the "sad parts" — empty spaces where her ex-husband has moved out. [Wonderland Magazine]
• Whoops! The BBC aired Christian Bale's infamous tirade without bleeping out the swearing. [The Star]
• Fantasia plans to get her high school degree — she dropped out of the ninth grade about ten years ago. "I've been talking about it for so long," she says. "I have a lot of young people who look up to me, like my 15-year-old brother and 7-year-old daughter. It's something that I really need to do and that I want to do." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Guy Ritchie: Seen singing show tunes in a gay bar. [Page Six]
• We've heard this before but here it is again: Lily Allen couldn't stay with her 45-year-old boyfriend because the sex was bad. [Mirror]
• Long interview with Justin Long, promoting He's Just Not That Into You. Guess what? He's not like his character. "I'm not good at reading signs - I don't like deciphering. I don't like to play the games, like 'When am I supposed to call?' " he says. [USA Today]
• Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are in luuuuuv. [Daily Mail]
• Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are selling their San Antonio home for about $900,000. Take a slideshow tour and check out the pretty pool and basketball court! [WSJ]
• Dev Patel, who has been nominated for a Best Actor Bafta, says of Slumdog Millionaire: "It has never claimed to be a documentary. It is a movie. It is entertainment. I spent five months out here filming and really got a chance to see the slums close up and I think the film depicts them accurately enough. Mumbai really is a city of extreme contrasts. If you step out of a five-star hotel here you can be facing a slum." [Telegraph]
• Speaking of Dev Patel, he and Freida Pinto were about to be on Tyra's show when a woman in the audience had a seizure. They signed a copy of the Slumdog soundtrack and slipped it to her as she sped off in an ambulance. Music heals, you guys. [Page Six]
• Soap operas are wiping out top stars because the economic downturn means they can't pay the actors. Days Of Our Lives lost four couples! [NY Post]
• Another day, another story about John Cleese's package. [Page Six]
• Kelly Cutrone, whom you may have seen on The City or The Hills, is getting a reality show based on her fashion PR company. Expect dramz! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which young magazine editor dispenses bags of blow to Hollywood starlets so they can be 'extra up' for the photo shoots he arranges?" [Gatecrasher]
• Paris Hilton chatted Fergie up about her wedding and honeymoon, but when Fergalicious walked away, Paris quipped to sister Nicky, "Ha, my engagement ring was bigger!" This paper points out: Yeah, Paris, but which one of you is actually married? [Gatecrasher]
• Russell Simmons has a juicy new squeeze, and she is a grapefruit heiress. [Gatecrasher]
• The new Gossip Girl plotline will be very similar to Anne Hathaway's love life: A hottie swindler will sweep Serena off her feet. [Gatecrasher]
• Jade Jagger is married, according to her Facebook status. Also, she started a music, fashion and art company called, uh, Jezebel. Her middle name. [Daily Mail]
• Will Val Kilmer run for governor of New Mexico in 2010? He says probably! "What I do for a living is listen. If I run, I'm going to be the next governor." [CBS News via AP]
• "I used to have claustrophobia inside the cinema because I didn't like it in the dark. I missed out on films as a kid. Now I'm better watching films on DVD with friends around than on my own. — Judi Dench. And! "The difference between theatre and cinema is that once you've done a film, it's over. With Nine, two days after I'd recorded my singing part, I did the performance I felt I should've done – in my bathroom." [Daily Express]
• "We haven't found any reason to stop yet. It's chaos at times, but there's such joy in the house. We have the capability to give a child a home and, let me tell you, it's selfish too because the reward has been extraordinary. [Twins are] just double the fun. It's surprising how soon their personalities have started emerging. But it's really important that everyone gets their individual time as well as group time together, and that's a big focus of ours. We were four before, and we got into our rhythms and it worked – but everyone's pretty well integrated." — Brad Pitt, on adding kids to his brood. [Mirror]
• "I've tried, but I'm just not into text sex. You only have a few lines to get your point across, and I don't like that. I also don't know who my text-sex partner is showing my messages to. I could be viewed as a text slut through no fault of my own." — Ginnifer Goodwin. [Gatecrasher]
• "Gigi is the closest I've ever come to playing myself. I've never been interested in playing someone so like myself. But I fell in love with her. I humiliate myself on a daily basis. I have been known to Google-stalk. I've certainly caught myself flirting in such a way that I feel nauseous afterward when I think of what I said. And I'm so guilty of the long linger." — Ginnifer Goodwin, on her character in He's Just Not That Into You. [USA Today]
• "You're pretending you're feeling the same emotion as when you wrote the song. I'm not trying to have pretend good sex, I'm trying to have good sex." — Duffy, on her tactic when filming music videos. [The Sun]
• "Angelina and I are together because we can enhance each other. I don't want to waste any time because I'm with company I really, really love." — Brad Pitt. [Mirror]
• "It's a great job, but it doesn't leave time for what's important, like having a family. I want to live in the country and have a walled garden with chickens and pigs." — Lily Allen, on being a pop star. [Mirror]
• "I was kind of seeing this guy and then it was over. So I texted my godmother in Jamaica and told her and as a joke I said, 'Maybe my next conquest should be Simon Cowell.' You know when someone is in your mind and you accidentally text them? He replied, 'Sorry?'" — Lily Allen, on accidentally propositioning Simon Cowell. [The Sun]
• "My son! My husband! Food! Oh, fashion? I don't know. A good bra?" — What Sarah Jessica Parker can't live without. [Bazaar]
• "I think pop culture has done a number on creativity, because for me to make that statement [that I'm into acting], I get the reaction: 'Really?' It's like, 'Yeah, why wouldn't I?' The opportunity is there. It's sort of like, I have a day job, and this becomes a hobby (that) I can plunge into with full creative eagerness." — Justin Timberlake, to Katie Couric. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I stopped reading all fashion and trash magazines. I don't want to be influenced any more by what's in and what's out and what makes somebody cool or not cool. In the middle of the night I'd go and take a pee, and on the bathroom floor would be a magazine, and I found myself memorizing banal headlines like 500 Best Black Tops. So I read only books – A Farewell To Arms, it's a heartbreaker, oh god – and decoration magazines." — Liv Tyler. [Wonderland Magazine]
• "I have to say really, I feel better than I ever felt in my life. I did have a moment, though, over the weekend my first like huh… I don't want to [turn 40]. I found a really long gray hair and it kind of flipped me out. It's not my first but it's the fact that it was so long. I was like, 'Oh that's been there. How many others are there, and what does that mean? It actually brought me to tears slightly." — Jennifer Aniston, on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. [People]

• Following complaints from PETA, Britney has announced that she won't feature animals on the Circus tour. A PETA spokesperson explained what they think changed Brit's mind (and it wasn't the potential animal cruelty lawsuit).

• PETA applauded Britney for not "forcing chained and beaten exotic animals to perform confusing and uncomfortable tricks" and said she must relate to the caged animals' plight as she herself is a "victim of the paparazzi and always crying about how she hates to be held up in her guarded house." [Daily Express]
• Executives at a luxury private jet company were indicted in New Jersey federal court on charges that they recklessly overfueled private planes, endangering the lives of celebrities including Beyonce, Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Harvey Weinstein. [ABC News]
• In this video, Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead talk about mourning Anna Nicole Smith two years after her death. Stern says after Anna died, "I realized how important she was to my life—she was my whole life. I gave up my whole world for her." [E!]
• Natalie Cole is fighting hepatitis C and hopes to have a kidney transplant in the near future. She says: "My son may be a possible match, which would be great. It's very sweet and kind of strange to have people offer something like that. It's a big deal for the recipient more than it is for the donor, because they've got two kidneys and we just need one!" [E!]
• Cole currently undergoes dialysis three times a week and also has liver disease. [People]
• Farrah Fawcett is doing well after fighting a second battle with anal cancer. She has stopped getting chemotherapy treatment but is still receiving follow-up care. [The Daily Express]
• You can watch Sean Penn's new PSA for the United Nations World Food Program here, plus a behind the scenes video reminding people that shockingly, poor people suffer in a bad economy. [Ad Week]
• Apparently Ashton Kutcher is addicted to Facebook as well as Twitter. His production company, Katalyst Media, is launching a Web series on Facebook. The first episode of the mock reality series comes out today and features Kutcher preparing too seriously for an acting role. [Ad Week]
• Has Vivica A. Fox actually found worse job than Psychic Friends Network spokeswoman? She's going to host a TV Land reality show called The Cougar, a dating show in which an older woman hunts for love in a pool of younger men. [PR Newswire]
• Tony Parker bought the second largest share of the French basketball team ASVEL, and will begin serving as the team's Director of Operations immediately. He may play for the team someday too. Says Parker: "When I'm 36, 37 years old, who knows how my NBA will go. Why not play one more farewell year in France afterwards? I've raised the subject with Eva, and she has nothing against living in France." [People]
• Tiger Woods hasn't been playing competitive golf since his knee surgery over the summer and now he's putting off his return until his wife gives birth to their second baby this spring. Also, Barack Obama told Woods at the inauguration that he wants to play golf with him. [People]
• Hank Azaria and his girlfriend Katie Wright are expecting their first child, a baby boy. [People]
• Ryan Reynolds ran the New York City marathon to raise money for Parkinson's, which his dad has been fighting for 15 years. [Men's Health]
• Ben Lee says his new album The Rebirth of Venus, which comes out next month, is a tribute to the feminine way of doing things in life. "In this world, masculine traits are usually rewarded and feminine traits basically get punished. Like President Obama last year talking about how he went to go negotiate [overseas] – which wasn't seen as a manly thing to do," said Lee. "They call it feminine and masculine archetypes. But [at the same time], they all go on inside all of us. So we all need to deal with that." [Blackbook]
• Jennifer Aniston recently directed a short for Glamour and says she is really interested in directing, which she describes as, "pull it all apart and put it back together again." [CBS News]
• Jorge "Papito" Serguera, the man who banned the Beatles from radio and television stations in Cuba, has died at the age of 76. He has said he was a fan of the group, but he recived orders from government officials who felt the band was a threat to communism. [Reuters]
• In a new interview, Stephen King says that Twilight author Stephanie Meyer isn't a good author. King says: "It's very clear that she's writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It's exciting and it's thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because they're not overtly sexual. A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that's a shorthand for all the feelings that they're not ready to deal with yet."[USA Weekend]
• Drew Barrymore answered questions fans sent to People and one guy asked if she'd consider dating a guy who owns a gas station. Drew said: "I think my dating record shows that I definitely don't believe in discrimination. So, yes – why wouldn't I?" [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says her biggest fashion regret is wearing black on her wedding day, rather than a traditional white gown. We can think of quite a few bigger fashion faux pas, which are now immortalized on the Sex and the City DVDs. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Could Jessica Alba's star power save us from this economic mess? Stockpickr.com and Stockerblog.com have compiled the Jessica Alba Stock Index, which works like the Dow Jones Industrial Average, but tracks companies based on how they are connected to Jessica Alba through her films and endorsements. [The Street]
• Brenda's back! Shannen Doherty has signed on to do one more episode of the new 90210. [People]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony recently purchased the house next door to their Long Island mansion. Judging from this photo gallery of the ugly colonial decor, they'll be doing some remodeling. [TMZ]
• Fantasia is going to return to the role she played on Broadway in The Color Purple this summer in a Washington, D.C. production of the show. [The Daily Express]
• A New Jersey congressman is demanding an investigation after fans from the state who tried to buy Bruce Springsteen concert tickets were shut out of the Ticketmaster website, which then ran an ad for more expensive tickets at TicketsNow. [AP]
• Freddy Krueger will be getting a makeover in the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie, but the producers say they won't change the way the characters look. They said: "in Texas Chainsaw the chainsaw was the weapon, in Friday the machete is the weapon for Jason, and in Nightmare there is no changing the glove." [Perez Hilton]
• "I love women. I like them as friends, as interesting people to speak with. But I love gay men. I always say it. Inside me there is a gay man who wants to come out! With heterosexual men I have nothing in common – excluding my husband, brothers and father, you understand." - Victoria Beckham in Italy's Vanity Fair. [Just Jared]
• This headline says it all: "Michael Phelps has extraordinary lung capacity. Does that mean he can get extraordinarily stoned?" [Slate]

[Los Angeles, May 21. Image via INFDaily.]

[Beverly Hills, April 24. Image via x17]

• Cameron Diaz and Gerard Butler: Three dates in ten days. Touchy-feely everywhere. It's like, so on. Yeah, this is the kind of news that makes us ache inside. You, too? [Mirror]
  
• Neither Beyoncé nor Jay-Z have confirmed that they were married. But on stage in North Carolina on Saturday, Mary J. Blige (who is on tour with Jay) shouted "Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," during the show. If Mary says it, you gotta believe! [People]
  
• Oooh, apparently guests at the Z-Knowles wedding were asked to leave all cell phones, cameras and guns at home and were frisked at the door — yet three guns were left in an "amnesty box" outside Jay-Z's apartment. Dangerously in love! [Mirror]
  
• Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday eating at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart with her fiancé. [People]
  
• "I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don't look like Lauren Conrad. Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on The Hills? They're complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag." — Stacy London of What Not To Wear. [Rush & Molloy]

• Click here to see what Scarlett Johansson's album cover looks like. (She's lying on some ferns inside of a stump or something, but it looks prettier than it sounds.) [People]
• Jessica Alba had a baby shower on Sunday; Rashida Jones, Jaime King and Kim Kardashian were in attendance. The menu featured chicken, tiger shrimp, dark chocolate-dipped strawberries and cupcakes. Jess received strollers, cradles, Dr. Seuss books, rattles and clothes. Yawn. [E!]
• Lily Allen and Kelly Osbourne turned up at the same event wearing the same Vivienne Westwood dress. Horrors! [Mirror]
• Madonna will adopt a kid from India after she finishes promoting her new album. Namaste! [The Sun]
• Um, unless, as this paper says, David Banda is the last child she ever adopts. [The Sun]
• Thandie Newton is going to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie??? Love her, but she doesn't look like the Secretary of State. Then again, Josh Brolin doesn't look like W, so. Sigh. [LA Times]
• Nicky Hilton, who is dating Mary-Kate Olsen's ex, David Katzenberg, is becoming good friends with The Hills' Whitney Port, who is dating Ashley Olsen's ex, Matt Kaplan. Are you keeping up? Think of it this way: Hollywood is one giant bacteria swap. [Page Six]
• Dane Cook's neighbors hate him because he doesn't pick up after his dog. Gross. [Page Six]
• Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' daughter Beatrice was seen shopping with her nanny, picking out her own clothes without her parents there, poor thing. She is 4. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Sir Paul has praised ex-wife Linda (and taken a swipe at Heather) by noting that Linda (who died in 1998) "didn't go on TV and say, 'This is who I am - hello' and try to ingratiate herself. Her priorities were private rather than public." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Paul's new girlfriend, "millionairess" Nancy Shevell, seems kind of great. [Daily Mail]
• Unfinished Kelly Clarkson tracks have leaked on to the Internet. That "sucks," says Kelly Clarkson. [Reuters]
• As previously reported, there's an X-rated blow-up doll based on Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex And The City. Will there also be a lawsuit? [UPI]
• Porn star Mary Carey announced "I'm 37 days sober!" at a NYC restaurant last week, then had a glass of wine. [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson is "shaving" on the new cover of Esquire. [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson's album will be released almost at the same time as Mariah Carey's. Doesn't look good for Ash. [MSNBC]
• Did Mariah lipsync on a UK TV show? [Perez Hilton]
• Dina Lohan is "worried" about tabloid attention on daughter Ali, who stars in Dina's upcoming reality show. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to the level of success that she is at and with the tabloids ... so with Ali now it's scary ... they are already making things up about her," Dina says. Thrusting her into the spotlight will certainly solve the problem! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the "beyond metrosexual" look was a smash with their target 'tween audience." [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney received an anonymous voice mail from a man telling him to ditch girlfriend Sarah Larson. The man said, "Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!" Clooney had the call traced to a pre-paid cell phone but still doesn't know who left the message. Maybe the person who "writes" IDontlikeYouInThatWay? [TMZ]
• Photo agency x17 has apologized to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria for posting the claims of model Alexandra Paressant, who said that she'd had an affair with Tony after he married Eva. Tony had never even met Paressant. Friday the agency said: X17online.com and X17 Inc. regret having been misled by Ms. Paressant and her representatives and apologize to Mr. Parker for any damage or inconvenience this may have caused him or his wife." [TMZ]
• The reason Naomi Campbell had a hissy fit on a British Airways flight? When they lost her luggage, she reportedly said, "I must have the clothing that is in the suitcase because it is a brand that I have got to wear otherwise I don't get paid." [Mirror]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Cheryl Burke has opened her own dance studio in San Francisco. [ET]
• Jennie Garth might make a cameo appearance in the pilot of the 90210 spinoff! [LA Times]
• Rickrolling has actually spurred sales of Rick Astley songs. Amazing. [Reuters]
• Colin Farrell toured Bosnia in preparation for a new film. ""I felt sick," he says. "It is hard to describe how obviously the air and the land has been poisoned by the act of killing 8,000 people in the space of a day. But you really do get the sense of the pain and the loss and I am sad, I really am sad." [Reuters]
• 21 was number one at the box office again, beating George Clooney's Leatherheads. [E!]
• Charlton Heston is dead. [People]

[Santa Monica, January 5. Image via x17]

• Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend could face statutory rape charges since he is 19 and JL is 16. According to reports, if the baby was conceived in Louisiana, the act could technically be considered "felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile." What a mess. [Daily Mail]
  
• But sources say that Jamie Lynn's parents "adore" her boyfriend and babydaddy Casey Aldridge. What else are they gonna say? [People]
  
• Breaking news: Have Jamie and Casey already broken up? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Jamie Lynn on being a good mom: "I love babies, and I have my nephews that I love. I have a great mom and she has raised three kids, so if I take lessons from her, I think I'll be great." Oh, dear. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Britney went Christmas shopping at Lisa Kline in L.A. Tuesday and a store rep says "She looks the best I've seen her in a really long time. She was really, really nice, saying, 'Thanks, babe,' 'Yeah, babe.' Everything was 'babe.'" Uh, maybe because her sister is with "babe"? [People]

• The inquest into Princess Diana's death continues, and now a handwritten letter has been released: In it, Diana writes, "This particular phase in my life is the most dangerous — my husband is planning 'an accident' in my car, brake failure and serious head injury in order to make the path clear for him to marry (the nanny) Tiggy. Camilla is nothing but a decoy." Holycrap. [Telegraph]
• Katie Holmes says the two children Tom Cruise adopted with ex-wife Nicole Kidman call her "Mom." Sweet! [People]
• But, oh, snap: Kidman says, "My kids don't call me mommy, they don't even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it." [Perez Hilton]
• Pete Doherty is in negotiations with a British TV network to tell all about his romance with Kate Moss — including sharing home videos the two made together — and Kate is pissed. She doesn't want her private moments with her ex aired on TV and "Some of it is really raunchy stuff Kate believed would never be seen by anyone else," says a source. We've all seen her topless and doing coke, so what's left? [Page Six]
• Is Christina Aguilera having a C-section because she is "too posh to push"? [Daily Mail]
• Want Sharon Stone to host your event? It'll cost you a hefty $175,000 for 30 minutes. And she may or may not wear a catsuit. [Page Six]
• Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens says team jinx Jessica Simpson "is not a fan favorite — in this locker room or in Texas Stadium." [Page Six]
• Later, he clarified: "Man, I was joking. Everyone was laughing, right?" [Breitbart]
• Shocker! One of the beefy, waxed, chiseled new American Gladiators might be gay! And he maybe did porny movies, woohoo. [Gatecrasher]
• Liam Neeson biked to a green event. Kudos! [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which documentary maker had to turn a blind eye to all the call girls that her subject, a famous sports star, was patronizing? 'The hookers got better access than I did,' she joked Tuesday at a dinner for the Gucci Tribeca Documentary Fund, a new initiative of the Tribeca Film Festival." [Gatecrasher]
• Eva Longoria's husband, Tony Parker, is suing photo agency x17 for publishing reports and text messages alleging that he cheated on Eva with French model Alexandra Paressant. The papers state, "Tony Parker has never had sexual relations with a woman named Alexandra Paressant." Well OK then! [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's Swedish pizza boy, Alex Vaggo, has been dropped by his modeling agency for "lack of communication." How do you say "flaky" in Swedish? [TMZ]
• The People's Choice awards are being revamped: No red carpet, prerecorded acceptance speeches, and a taped, not live, show. The writers' strike is to blame, but the adjustments sound like improvements. [USA Today]
• Ashlee Simpson's new video debuted Wednesday, but everyone was too busy paying attention to Jamie Lynn to notice and Ash is pissed. [MSNBC]
• Heather Mills faces being sued by her own divorce lawyers — she has over £2 million in unpaid bills. Maybe she could do another reality show? [Daily Mail]
• Jude Law and ex-wife Sadie Frost are going to spend Christmas in Cuba learning how to salsa dance. Sexy! Does this mean a reconciliation? [Daily Express]

• Britney Spears missed her deposition yesterday because she was freaking the fuck out. Her "friend" Sam Lufti said, "She's sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It's too much." And yet she makes it to Starbucks. [People]
  
• And Brit may call in sick again, says a source. She doesn't think it's a big deal and feels "like she didn't have to do something just because she was told." [MSNBC]
  
• Blue Christmas! Britney may not spend the holiday with her sons — Kevin Federline's lawyer is threatening to ask the judge to take away her visitation rights. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker is not having an affair, says Tony Parker. [People]
  
• Liza Minnelli collapsed during a show in Sweden! She fell off the side of the stage but was caught by a technician. Don't work too hard, Miss With A Zee! [Reuters]

• Baby Spice tumbled on stage! Emma Bunton sprained her ankle at the Las Vegas Spice Girls show and is now on crutches. [Daily Mail]
• Producers were "frantically calling publicists" before Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port from The Hills went to Paris "to see if anyone knew any guys to set the girls up with ... If they had a love affair there, then it would look better," says a source. Pimpin' ain't easy! [Page Six]
• Sex And The City sequel? Maybe! "They want it to be a franchise and think they can stretch it over at least three movies," says a source. For the love of Christmas. Let it be. [Page Six]
• Janice Dickinson has a sister? And she's a model??? [Page Six]
• J.R. Rotem, the father of Britney Spears' nonexistent fetus, is a jerk, but, yeah, you knew that. [Page Six]
• There's tension on the set of Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn's new movie, mostly because she's a perfectionist and he's a slacker. [Gatecrasher]
• The scene: Fancy restaurant. The scenario: The chef sends out special dishes as a treat. Padma Lakshmi to the waiter: "Take it away! Don't you know I'm on a diet?" [Gatecrasher]
• Mario Lopez hosted a contest in Las Vegas called "Boobs or Bust," in which women competed for a $5,000 toward a breast augmentation. Classy! [Rush & Molloy, last item]
• Benjamin Bratt's nephew Kristopher was killed yesterday in San Francisco: A stolen car being pursued by police ran a red light and plowed into the 20-year-old's car. [TMZ]
• Katie Holmes on her marriage to Tom Cruise: "It has made my life." Zombie bride! [People]
• JK Rowling's parents dressed her in blue when she was little. Her sister got to wear pink but "I was supposed to be the boy," she says. [Daily Express]
• Uh, Johnny Depp may play Pee-Wee in the movie version of Pee-Wee's playhouse? So crazy it just might work. Especially if Tim Burton is on board. [MSNBC, 3rd item]
• Tara Reid's body is a mess and it's all her fault! (Botched lipo.) [Daily Mail]

• Eva Longoria had accessories designer Rafe Totengco make custom clutches for each of her bridesmaids for her Friday nuptials to Tony Parker, and then had the girls carry their gifts down the aisle. Uh, isn't it kinda awkward to have bridesmaids carry clutches down the aisle? And how could the bridesmaids adequately straighten Longoria's train and tend to her every idiotic need besaddled with a clutch? Um okay we're stopping now. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• L'Oreal Paris makes our favorite mascara. They are also apparently racist. Sigh. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The Vera Wang for Kohl's drama continues to mount as Macy's drops Wang's two lingerie lines after an annoucement that Wang will be designing a third Kohl's-exclusive line. [WWD, sub req'd]

• American Eagle Outfitters and J. Crew are predicted to be the biggest sellers among teens for the upcoming back-to-school season, which means teenagers are as boring and uncreative as we remember them being. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Topshop attempts to make up for not selling Kate Moss's line online by selling vintage designer finds on its website. [WWD, final item]
• Berlin's first-ever Fashion Week begins Thursday. Meaning: Wednesday should be a good day in at the colonic clinic! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Is Prada going English? Possibly, if rumors of a sale to an English tycoon are true. Also allegedly vying for ownership are the two private equity firms that just jousted for control of Valentino, winner Permira and loser Carlyle. What does it all mean?? Um, a lot of money will be made by all. [Yahoo]
• Ferragamo is resurrecting not only iconic images from the film La Dolce Vita for its fall advertising campaign, but also the careers of former supermodels Claudia Schiffer and Stephanie Seymour. [Vogue UK]
• Dita von Teese's beauty philosophy summarized: Why be a natural beauty when using lots and lots of makeup is so creative? Spoken like a true mall goth. [Vogue UK]

Writing in today's Daily Mail about a sex poll that came out last week, the chastely-named Helena Frith Powell reports that "out of 26 countries polled, the only one below France in terms of sexual satisfaction was Japan." But Ms. Powell didn't let a simple poll do the job of promoting her thesis that French men are bad in bed: She also gave the power to the people, complaining about a former French beau (he spent 30 minutes clipping his nose hairs and dousing himself in aftershave before sex!) and quoting a female friend, who went even further in her assessments of the French way of lovemaking:

'French men are all show and no go,' says a Parisian friend of mine who is married to a Scot. 'All that elaborate hand-kissing and flirting is what they're really good at. But get them naked and they fall apart.'