[Bunol, Spain; August 26. Image via Getty]

People are seen throwing tomatoes during the 'Tomatina' food festival on August 26, 2009 in Bunol, Valencia, in the southeastern region of Spain. The festival held on the last Wednesday of August each year sees tens of thousands of participants from all over the world to fight in a brutal battle where more than one hundred metric tons of over-ripe tomatoes are thrown in the streets. AFP PHOTO/DIEGO TUSON (Photo credit should read DIEGO TUSON/AFP/Getty Images)

[Havana, June 23. Image via Getty]

Cuban women buy tomatoes at a green market June 23, 2009 in Havana. The Cuban government has rationed the sales of grains and salt because of the economy crisis. AFP PHOTO/STR (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

• In an interview on Glamocracy (also known as "the other place I blog") with Glamour's Cindi Leive, Barack Obama said that he's infuriated by right-wing attacks on his wife. Maybe he and Bill will actually have something to talk about next time they talk. [Glamocracy]
• The Nation has a new sex columnist, JoAnn Wypikewski. JoAnn thinks that there are "legions of little girls jumping out of their panties" for Obama, which manages to be stupid, demeaning, creepy and sexist all at the same time! "Ugh" is right. [The Nation, Salon]
• Oh, and conservative talk show host Michael Savage thinks that autistic children are just "[brats] who [haven't] been told to cut the act." Why the fuck do people listen to this asshole again? [Media Matters]

• But the FDA says it's cool to eat tomatoes now, just not peppers. Fools, the last thing Americans need to be told by the government is to eat fewer fresh veggies. Right hand, left hand? [CNN]
• And the first Obamite to sell out is coming to town soon. Dan Shomon masterminded Obama's 2004 Senate campaign and is now selling his connections to Obama in Washington. He won't be the last, that's for sure. In Washington, Democrats sell out just as quick as Republicans. [Politico]
• China has issued new regulations by which artists will be allowed to perform there, following Bjork's Tibet shout-out. Guess a good Olympic half-time show is totally out. [NY Times]
• In good news, though, Kay Ryan is set to be this country's 17th poet laureate on Thursday. [NY Times]

• So, hooray, Ted Kennedy is out of the hospital. [NY Times]
• But, tomatoes might kill all of us, and I ain't even talking about the mutant kind. [Washington Post, Killer Tomatoes, with full info from the FDA]
• But daily sex with your partner definitely won't, though it will propel you to the top of the NY Times most emailed list and, actually, that might be more depressing than killer tomatoes. [NY Times]
• But it's okay because the Democrats "stunning" refusal to grant telephone companies legal immunity for doing potentially illegal things means the terrorists are all winning so we'll all be dead soon, so you might as well eat some damn tomatoes and try fucking tonight. [NY Times]

• It doesn't help any that Michelle and Barack Obama are sending super-secret signals to al Qaeda through their open use of the fist pound. No, for real, someone said that. I wish I was kidding. [Politico]
• I will continue to play Cassandra and point out that 17% of Clinton supporters currently plan to vote for McCain in November and another 22% plan to stay home, and that doesn't even count all the people I know that keep telling me they're going to make her a write-in candidate. Oh, and she's totes McCain's new BFF, what with her "centrist foreign policy views," as McCain aide and former National Review writer Michael Goldfarb says. [CNN]
• But, I can always get cheered up by talking trash about Cheney. [LA Times]
• But there's always something to bring me down, like about how you can actually catch a dude giving you a roofie and call the cops and go to the hospital and be able to prove it but the prosecutors can claim there's not enough evidence. Paging BAngieB. [LA Times]
• Oh, and, naturally, we've diverted all this humanitarian aid money that used to go to doing humanitarian stuff in Pakistan to helping them help us fight the War on Terror, you know, like finding Osama and shit, which means that lots of good humanitarian projects, like helping women fight and recover from abusive relationships, are severely underfunded. [Washington Times]
• But, hey, Scott McClellan is going to testify under oath about what little he knows about the nefarious doings in the Bush Administration. That should accomplish exactly nothing [HuffPo]
• I think I'll stick with let's get drunk (on Bloody Marys, natch, since vodka kills germs) and screw.