OMFG Tom Hiddleston looks so damn good on the March 2014 digital cover of Elle UK. Christ.

Before he transformed into the greatest Marvel villain of all, Tom Hiddleston originally auditioned for Chris Hemsworth's role as Thor. And we now have a tiny glimpse of that audition tape — and it is awesome.

Watch as Tom Hiddleston prepares for his role in Coriolanus at Donmar Warehouse. He swordfights. He hugs his opponent. He does some TRX. He jumps rope. He pants. He indulges in some theater exercises. He laughs. He is wonderful.

Here's the official Tom Hiddleston addition to Jaguar's Super Bowl commercial/villain series. He's dapper. He's evil. He's in a subtle plaid. Everything's cool, baby. Reeeeal cool.

Look here! During this year's Superbowl, Jaguar will air an ad featuring Tom Hiddleston in a tuxedo. Now usually, I think it's gross to get excited over Superbowl ads because I think it's gross to get excited about ads in general. But then I read "Tom Hiddleston" + "tuxedo" and all my anti-consumerist principles flew…

Everyone. Please prepare your Tom Hiddleston reaction gifs now. Rumors are flying that the soon-to-be released Thor 2: The Dark World DVD will contain a mini-movie centered around Loki called All Hail the King.

Some lucky charity bidder out there now owns the footwear of my heart.

Behold. The celebrity dance off to end all other celebrity dance offs. You have been warned. The dancing you are about to witness is spectacular. Quite spectacular indeed.

HA. Take that "Person Who Most Reminds You of an Infection You Got from a Hot Tub". Turns out, there are still some sane people left in the world who recognize what true sexiness really is.

Since there was no winner in Friday night's massive $425 million Mega Millions lottery, the Lottery Gods will now be forced to give us even more money if we win.

Tom Hiddleston seems to be enjoying fame about as much as anyone signing "Stand By Me" while drinking a huge beer in the passenger seat of a car can really enjoy fame. It's a hard gig, but somebody — preferably somebody with excellent bone structure — has to do it.

Over the weekend, Thor 2: The Dark World earned $86.11 million at the box office. It's an accomplishment, to say the least — not only did it set the box office record for the Marvel franchise, it also Tom Hiddleston-ed, Tom Hiddleston-ed again and Tom Hiddleston-ed one more time.

Marvel's makeup wizards had to drain the glow out of normally ruddy, golden-haired Tom Hiddleston's skin so he could play Loki, which somehow only served to make the much-beloved villain one thousand times more sexual and savage, not unlike a white lion or an albino alligator wearing a really slick wig. Thanks to…

We already knew that Tom Hiddleston could bust a MOVE, but did you know that Thor 2 co-star Zachary Levi is also a bit of a dancing machine? You know what that means: It's a motherfucking dance-off. (God is good, my friends.)

Oh my god please stop being so cute. (Kidding. NEVER STOP.)

Dammit, Tom Hiddleston! We get it! You're adorable! Everything you say is the cutest. Everything you do is the dreamiest. Jesus H., give us a minute to get up from our collective fainting couch and recover from this overwhelming case of swoons already.

You might be surprised to learn this, but Tilda Swinton is a terrific dancer. Tom Hiddleston told everyone so, and he’d know because he danced with Swinton all slow and sexy-like in Only Lovers left Alive. “She’s just not what people think she is,” Hiddleston said of his co-star. “She’s just so warm and so fun and…

Tom Hiddleston's impression of Owen Wilson playing Loki is remarkably spot-on, and it turns out that he has a bunch of these actors-as-Loki bits up his sleeve. His Samuel L. Jackson impression involves a bit more swearing.