• Rihanna made fun of Tila Tequila on a radio show, so naturally, Tila's only option was to claim that Rihanna has herpes and declare that she's now on "Team Chris."

• In a long rant on her website, Tila wrote: "Since you're still cascading around town like you're a prefect little princess, angel…..honey I hate to burst your bubbles…..but yes….yo shit really do stink, and even worse…..yo shit has STD's, known as HERPES, down in your private area." She added, "NOTE TO CHRIS BROWN: I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I'm definitely on TEAM CHRIS NOW! GO CHRIS! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND I FULLY SUPPORT YOU! You have admitted to what you did, and apologized numerous times, You have learned from your mistakes and I think people should really leave that in the past now and let you do your thing." It's an even classier move when you consider that Tila is suing Shawne Merriman over an alleged domestic violence incident. [ONTD]
• Four photos have surfaced of Tiger Woods' alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs wearing only a thong. She took the photos herself with a cell phone in a bathroom mirror. [Radar Online]
• Jaimee Grubbs' ex-boyfriend Richard Palermo claims, "Jaimee sent naked pictures to me. She has an iPhone so she just takes them and emails them to me. She sent them to me roughly three months ago." There's a description of what she's doing in the pictures here, if you must know: [Radar Online]
• Perez Hilton claims that people are shopping nude pictures of Rachel Uchitel taken on a cell phone. He probably got her confused with Tiger's other mistress, though there being two sets of nude cell phone pics isn't all that unlikely. [Perez Hilton]
• Rachel Uchitel told friends she did drugs with Tiger Woods before they had sex. A source calims Rachel told her, "You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex." [Radar Online]
• Hugh Hefner weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think the only surprise in it, quite frankly, is that anybody would be surprised... If you're a good-looking guy and young and healthy, the notion that there would be something else going on, well, marriage is just a convenience. It's very nice for raising kids, but the notion that monogamy lasts forever is a wish!" Thanks, Hef. [E!]
• Jake Gyllenhaal referred to Reese Witherspoon as his girlfriend in an interview, sending all the tabloid reporters that insisted they had split up into a tizzy. "I've learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things," said Jake. "Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it." [People]
• Tom Brokaw was involved in a fatal 3-car accident in New York today. Tom and his wife Meredith released a statement describing the crash that said: "Neither Tom nor Meredith were injured but tragically the driver of the SUV was thrown from her vehicle and killed. Tom and Meredith are greatly saddened by this loss of life." [TMZ]
• Rosie O'Donnell says she contacted Meredith Baxter after she came out earlier this week. "She's 62. She's the same age as Kelli's mother. When you think of that, that somebody at Kelli's mother's age came out... you know, that's big," said Rosie. "Good for her, man. Live your truth... Go in peace. It's not that hard. Fight the fear. Life in fear everyone's gonna find out you're gay... Have faith. Tell people it's going to be all right. The truth is the only way through." [Extra]
• A woman tried to serve Jennifer Aniston with papers requiring her to testify in a sexual harassment case against a Hollywood agent who has been accused of walking around naked in front of his former assistant and showing her woman-on-horse porn. Jen didn't take the document so the woman left it on her windshield and her bodyguards picked it up, which lawyers say still counts. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston's yoga instructor Mandy Ingber declared that her client has the perfect body. "Women look to her as the perfect blend," said Ingber. "She's very natural. Who has a better body than Jennifer Aniston?" [Extra]
• Though Star claimed the cops came to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's house in L.A. to break up their "worst fight ever," the police were actually responding to their burglar alarm accidentally going off. "We went out and checked to make sure it's a false alarm, and if it's false, we leave. That's basic protocol. That one was a real basic false alarm," says LAPD Sgt. Kyle Kirkman. [Us]
• A source insists the reports that Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Cash Warren, Jessica Alba's husband, are "totally untrue... the rumors are hurtful but they're just so ridiculous." [People]
• Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo of the words "Just Breathe" under her left boob. [Daily Mail]
• Newlyweds Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got into a fight at a L.A. restaurant. "Lamar caused a huge scene," said a source. "He got jealous because Khloe was texting at the table and he yelled at her to quit it. She refused, so he stormed off and sat alone at the bar. Khloe just ignored him." Khloe's friend was running back and forth between the two of them trying to make peace "but Lamar kept just saying 'I'm not talking to her. Let her talk to her phone. She can be alone with her phone.' It was bad." Are they in middle school? [Radar Online]
• Hulk Hogan's girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel has been wearing a giant diamond ring and sources say they're engaged. [N.Y. Daily News]
• Glee star Cory Monteith says he isn't dating his co-star Lea Michele. "We're great friends," he said. "We've become really close over the show, but we're just friends. We're not dating." [CNN]
• Gisele Bundchen continued flying planes in her eight month of pregnancy, but now she's put off the exam she need to become a helicopter pilot until next year. "She has stopped with her lessons. She stopped before Thanksgiving," says the president of Shoreline Aviation, where she's taking classes. "She's waiting to have the baby and then she's going to start up when things settle down again." [People]
• LeAnn Rimes got into another car accident. This time she backed into a security golf cart in a parking lot. [TMZ]
• Maya Rudolph gave birth tho her second child with director Paul Thomas Anderson on November 6. The baby's name is Lucille. [People]
• The feud between Al Roker and Speidi will never end! In a new interview, Roker said they "haven't done anything and still haven't done anything" to earn the fame they have. Then referring to Heidi saying she wants to be like Mother Theresa he said, "I don't know, maybe I'm wrong and I missed something but I don't think Mother Theresa posed nude in Playboy. I think she was known for good work, helping the poor, healing the sick, not showing her ta-tas off." [Popeater]
• Audrina Patridge put her own show on hold and signed on for the sixth season of The Hills. [Perez Hilton]
• MTV told Italian groups not to judge Jersey Shore until they saw last night's premiere... and now they're really mad. A rep from UNICO National said the organization "can't keep up with the volume of calls" from "outraged" Italian Americans adding, "I suffered through all 120 mins of that show and it was worse than I imagined." [TMZ]
• The Order of the Sons of Italy in America and the National Italian American Foundation have also condemned the show, for using "ethnic slurs, violence and poor behavior to marginalize and stereotype Italian-Americans." [UPI]
• Domino's has pulled their ads from Jersey Shore because "The content of this particular program is not right for Domino's Pizza." [TMZ]
• Twisted Sister guitarist Eddie Ojeda is recovering after emergency back surgery to repair a ruptured disc that forced him to miss a concert near Philadelphia. [AP]
• Pamela Anderson is recording a pop single called "High" — about "high" fashion, not drugs. Her friend Richie Rich says, "Pam says she wants to sing, but nothing too difficult, so she's just going to sing the word 'high' over and over." [Us]
• Kate Hudson said when she took her 5-year-old son Ryder to the set of Nine, "It was the first time I saw him in shock, recognizing what it is that I do. I really think it was the first time it hit him." [People]
• Simon Cowell he has one regret: doing a cameo in Scary Movie 3. He said: "I'll never forget going to that premiere and dying in my seat when the movie came on. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. Lesson learned: Don't believe that you're good at other things. I might be okay as a judge, but I'm a lousy actor." [EW]
• "I was 211 pounds when I delivered my son, so I know what it is like to be obese and fat and miserable," says Jenny McCarthy. "I'm 5'6 so it was a tough thing to carry around; losing it is something I'm very proud of." [Fox News]

• Diddy likens himself to Obama. Speaking of his new fragrance, "I Am King," he declares, "When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend." [WSJ]
• "Mr. Obama sometimes wears jeans, as he did for a rally on Oct. 28, but his jeans are the loose, jingle-the-change-in-your-pocket type. He belts them at the waist, and when he wears them with white sneakers and a windbreaker, one could almost say he had stolen the look from Jerry Seinfeld’s character on the television series." — Cathy Horyn. [NY Times]
• Meanwhile, Donna Karan is rarin' to dress Michelle. “It’s not about her clothes, it’s really about who she is, and her passion for children, culture and wellness. I’m hoping to get to work with them — it would be my dream. They are so committed to ideals that are much in alignment with mine.” [WWD]

• Rumor has it that Pamela Anderson will be in a Vivienne Westwood campaign! But before she gets too excited: it's set in a trailer park. [New York Magazine]
• The Crocs bubble has officially burst. [Reuters]
• Gwyneth breaks it down: "Personally, I like to stick to the classics in both my everyday life and in the evening. Whether I am going to meet friends for dinner, a cocktail party or a bigger event, the most classic of classics, the little black dress, never fails me. I have found a few great ones in all different price ranges and each has amazing versatility. It could be Zara, it could be Balenciaga, but a well-cut, well-proportioned black dress has gotten me through many a fashion crisis." She pairs them with my betes noires, booties and gladiator boots. [Goop]
• We're reserving judgment on the new Diane Von Furstenberg blog: "The blog will be updated daily and will include news, shots of new items, horoscopes, cultural advice, and personal photos and posts by the Diane herself." [Fashionista]
• Ed Westwick's K-Swiss ads further remind us that he is no Chuck Bass. [Just Jared]
• Tartan is back. Why? Because apparently "plaid equals happiness." The Times suggests "a plaid scarf over a checked shirt and a plaid sport coat, topped with a tweed driving cap." [New York Times]
• Comme des Garcons for H&M is here. Shop at your own risk. [Sassybella]
• Wall Street Journal guy discovers there is no warranty on running shoes. [WSJ]
• Teens are apparently unembarrassed to dress exactly like Gossip Girl characters. [Portfolio]
• Ew. Is Vuitton bringing back the Stephen Sprouse graffiti bag? [Fashionista]
• They're refusing to confirm that Madonna's their new spokestar. [WWD]
• Stuart Weitzman plays a lot of ping pong. [Fashion Informer]
• (designer) Sienna Miller, for her part, enjoys Monopoly. [WWD]
• Dior Homme goes all porn-y for their new campaign. [NY Magazine]
• Uniqlo sells the new bra top through profiling: "20- to 40-year-olds were filmed answering a range of questions, from their favorite food to what they liked about Uniqlo products, and the answers were then played on a microsite for like-minded women. Filtering criteria allowed visitors to find women of a similar height, weight and shape and see how they answered the questions." [AdAge]
• Simon Doonan gets Tom Brokaw to unveil the Barney's Christmas windows. "I wanted someone with a little bit of gravitas to cut the ribbon," quoth he. [Style.com]
• Perry Ellis is pessimistic. [WSJ]
• Urban Outfitters, at least, is up! [WSJ]
• Marc Jacobs: "I've had boyfriends who were media whores, and, God bless them, they were great people." [New York Post]

STEVE: Shalom and here we go. It won't be the first time I've talked about something I didn't actually see.

MEGAN: Well, you saw it but in true Jezebel fashion, you saw it intoxicated. This is the first one I actually watched stone-cold sober because I couldn't stop typing long enough to drink the bottle of wine I opened.

STEVE: My insights are admittedly influenced by the haze of a nice, Australian Cabernet-Shiraz blend. Yes, "that one."

MEGAN: So you do remember some things! But, basically, Obama won and nobody asked anything that wasn't pre-screened because they didn't want to get yelled at by Tom Brokaw like he kept yelling at Obama and McCain.

STEVE: Yes, I remember mostly the focus group that Katie Couric did after, and the undecidededs didn't like "that one" very well. Maybe, as Maureen posited this morning, it was a cross between "the one" and "that woman," but it seemed dismissive and odd.

MEGAN: I mean, it's actually something you say to, like, your kids, isn't it? I thought it was very infantilizing.

STEVE: I wouldn't know about kids, but my friend Suzanne is here and says she'd never really talk to her kids like that. I would, however, sometimes talk to a boyfriend like that. And that's not a good sign.

MEGAN: Wait! Wasn't it you that sent me that magazine cover of them kissing?

STEVE: YES I DID and you didn't pick it up. I thought it was going to be a big deal. But maybe the progressives won't get mad at The Progressive?

MEGAN: It was just a little too... something.

STEVE: I'm not even sure what that was supposed to mean. But I can say, without a doubt, that I wouldn't kiss any man who pointed at me and called me "that one" in public.

MEGAN: You know, I did kiss a dude who later called me "that one" in public in what he thought was a jocular way. I accused him of using his brother's terminal illness as a way to get pussy, so I guess I didn't appreciate it.

STEVE: Speaking of our rights to kiss anyone we want, I thought it was a little odd, and disappointing, that not a word was said about the Supreme Court last night, two days into the new term and with at least two judges barely holding on.

MEGAN: Well, but Sarah Palin covered that, right? [I crack myself up some times]

STEVE: Every swing state voter I know - and I recently met a mom in Ohio who WANTS to vote GOP, but is really being persuaded by the high court argument.

MEGAN: Because of Roe? That's interesting. On the other hand, if the Democratic Party can win the Presidency on the economy and the Republican can't gin people up on social issues like abortion and gay marriage because independent voters have realized that it's craven and whatever, that's not a bad thing, right?

STEVE: I really think the court issue is ALMOST as persuasive as the "Jesus the stock market crashed 500 points again" issue. You know, Bill Maher said on Friday, and I agree, that it almost always requires a national catastrophe to get progressives elected. BUT DO AMERICANS NOT GET THAT THE SUPREME COURT COULD BE A NATIONAL CATASTROPHE TOO?

MEGAN: Well, 54 percent of the country thinks abortion should stay legal and the more they put the crazies on TV, the more people go, um, those people are cray-cray. Like, they should give that crazy anti-gay guy from Kansas more press.

STEVE: I bet Fred Phelps votes based on the Supreme Court!

MEGAN: Totally! But everyone hates him. Harley riders hate him. He's the antithesis of everything the anti-gay movement is trying to pretend to be, which is faux-tolerant. You know, like Sarah Palin. It's okay if you, like, have to be gay, but the government shouldn't do anything special for your heathen, social-norm defying self. That would be giving you "special" rights. Because the right to, say, marry or to have equal protection under the law is "special."

STEVE: Sarah says she "tolerates" the gays. Does that make us feel better?

MEGAN: Like, she doesn't want to gas them or anything! It doesn't make me feel better. What is there about gay people to "tolerate"? It's not like gayness is something that might rub off or something.

STEVE: OK and so if they spent 60 minutes on the economy last night, we should spend a few minutes on it here. Angela Merkel is on the front of the NYT business section today, looking very stressed.

MEGAN: Well, I think I know why.

STEVE: And as someone who was raised by a single mother and appreciates the (much better) grasp that women have on pocket book issues than men, I get worried when they look panicked. I mean, a friend emailed last night to tell me that he and his boyfriend decided not to buy expensive, designer jeans after the 500 drop yesterday. And when the gay men stop pumping money into the economy for lavish, unessential items like Italian jeans, we have problems.

MEGAN: Well, that alone explains the 500 point drop in the Dow yesterday. I have no doubt that Angela Merkel doesn't want to be presiding over an economic crisis brought on by the financial crisis and credit crunch by her personal masseur.

STEVE: I mean, when $2 trillion of retirement money is gone . . . and gay men can't buy jeans . . . is our salvation really going to be found in cutting a $3 million overhead projector for a planetarium? And, like, if they did buy the projector for the planetarium, and Sarah could see Jupiter from her seat, could we make her an astronaut and send her to the moon or something?

MEGAN: Okay, first off, I really like planetariums. I'm just sayin'. Fuck McCain for hating on planetariums. Second off, he's also going to personally renegotiate everyone's mortgages. Except mine. And yours if you had one. I mean, not really "everyone" as much as people whose houses lost value because they bought stuff for absurdist prices. And took out absurdly high mortgages. And only if they're old, to make up for the massive cuts in Medicare spending he's planning.

STEVE: And McCain's mortgage plan is totally borrowed from Hillary, which was borrowed from her history lessons on the Great Depression.

MEGAN: Also, did you get the sense that they made that up on the bus on the way there? Sort of like how McCain's all, I know how to kill bin Laden! I do! Just watch! I will go into some place I won't name and kill bin Laden quietly, because generally invading a sovereign nation goes over way better if you just hope they don't notice.

STEVE: But if you pronounce Pakistan as Pah-kee-stahn, the whole things has an air of credibility.

MEGAN: Just like "new-cue-lerr" makes it sound less scary?

STEVE: You betcha!

MEGAN: Such as!

STEVE: So Olbermann says Palin is the one palling around with terrorists — the Alaska Independence Party.

MEGAN: Well, you know, just because they advocated potentially violent secession, we sponsored by Iran and hate Our Freedoms doesn't makes them terrorists... Oh, wait, let's just call Olbermann and pinko Commie in the tank for Obama.

STEVE: The AIP founder, Olbermann says, said that, "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government, and I won't be buried under their damn flag"

MEGAN: Why doesn't he just go to Canada? It's, like, right the fuck there.

STEVE: Don't ruin Canada for the rest of us! I hear Montreal is quite a party.
But where is this tank everyone keeps talking about? It must be pretty crowded in there by now.

MEGAN: And kind of sexy. I mean, Olbermann's in it with Rachel Maddow and Bill Keller of the NY Times, who I saw on Saturday and is kind of silver foxy.

STEVE: Is Rachel Maddow DRIVING the tank? Margaret Cho says you gotta have a lesbian to read the map.

MEGAN: Well, I'll bet Rachel is driving and Suze Orman is navigating through the minefields.

STEVE: Are we going to end up with Suze or Warren Buffet as treasury secretary anyway? Can't Warren Buffet just bail us out of this . . . maybe with a little help from Bill Gates?

MEGAN: I know, Warren Buffet as Treasury Secretary? I was like, dude, McCain, seriously, you had a whole series of commercials about how stupid celebrity is and now you're nominating the only financier people will recognize by name as Treasury Secretary? I mean, you know he wanted to be honest and say "Phil Gramm," because McCain, too, thinks we're a nation of whiners and this is just a mental depression.

STEVE: I mean, I bank at Wachovia, or Citibank, or Wells Fargo OR WHATEVER IT IS THIS MORNING and I'd feel much more secure banking at Warren Buffet's house.

MEGAN: I'd feel more secure banking from under my mattress at this stage.
If anyone is going to fuck over my money, it really should be me.