• Alexa Chung has been named British Vogue's best-dressed for her "quirky sense of style." Also: Audrey Tautou, Freida Pinto, and Emma Watson. [ThisIsLondon]
• She's "deposed" Kate Moss, now "relegated to 10th place, only one spot ahead of Lady Gaga." [Telegraph]

• The magazine says the list was given "in no particular order," but whatevs, they totally put Alexa first on purpose. [Vogue UK]
• Speaking of Lady Gaga, she is making a guest appearance on Bravo's new replacement for Project Runway, Launch My Line. After dropping in on the aspiring designers — and scaring the pants off them, we don't doubt, see what we did there? — they learn that their weekly challenge will be to create outfits inspired by the Lady and "make sure they are pushing the boundaries of fashion without crossing the line of good taste." Since when has Lady G cared about good taste? We thought her thing was more to épater les bourgeois. [The Cut]
• Actresses and actors attending the Screen Actors Guild and Golden Globe Awards, consider yourselves on notice: Joan Rivers is doing Fashion Police segments this year. Yay! [Stylelist]
• Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady have decided to name their two-week-old son Benjamin. [Vogue UK]
• Says Copyranter of the disturbing new Lanvin ad featuring photographer Inez can Lamsweerde in bloody red body paint, "this could be the start of a new zombie trend for 2010." Well, that or "first-year med school." [Copyranter]
• Oh, Daily Mail: "Shamed supermodel Sophie Anderton was held overnight after making a drunken scene at a London railway station." After attempting to board the Eurostar from the wrong station, Anderton, who has been described as "embattled" more than once, apparently made a scene, actually uttered the words "don't you know who I am?" and was arrested for being drunk and disorderly. [DailyMail]
• Abbey Lee Kershaw says that she, Natasha Poly, and Sasha Pivovarova took one look at Alexander McQueen's 12"-tall alien shoes and politely declined to walk in his show. Kershaw has had several runway mishaps in her short international career: platforms caused her to fall at Rodarte in September of 2008, a stumble at the same show six months later injured her knee and left her unable to walk for the rest of the season, and she fainted on McQueen's runway due to a tightly laced corset. Good to know she has her health in mind after those close calls. [Fashionologie]
• Speaking of the health vs. vanity paradigm, a woman in England had an allergic reaction to an eyelash tinting procedure — one she apparently had undergone regularly — that left her eyes swollen shut. She feared she would lose her sight and was rushed to the hospital. After 14 days of treatment with antihistamines and antibiotics, her face and eyes are still swollen, and she has had to take time off work. The salon gave her a refund but accepts no responsibility for her injuries. [Daily Mail]
• High-end retailers claim they are trying something really novel this holiday season: being nice to shoppers. Complimentary champagne, sending thank-you notes to customers, and even designer Dennis Basso himself playing shopboy: these are all strategies that department stores and boutiques are trying after a consultant performed a year-long study that determined service at pricey stores was no better than that at Ace Hardware or Lowe's. At Bergdorf Goodman, the doormen are nicer than ever — because the old ones were fired "when we found the ones we were using weren't as friendly as we wanted them to be." Happy holidays! [NYTimes]
• For its part, Macy's is keeping 12 New York-area stores open 24 hours until 6 p.m. tomorrow. Nothing says "I love you, Uncle Gary," like a box of seasonal socks you pluck from the display at 4:30 a.m. [WWD]
• Lacoste would like you to know that it is going to spend $500,000 over the next three years to try and save an endangered crocodile. Perhaps news of this relatively modest charitable investment will spur you to think fondly of its crocodile logo, and buy an item of clothing with it on it this holiday season? [WWD]
• "Project White T-Shirt" is, yes, another ts-for-charity project, but in this case the results may be purchased for reason other than philanthropy: the 31 contributors, including "Andrea Crews, Bruno Pieters, Pelican Avenue, Slow and Steady Wins the Race, Daniel Palillo and other contemporary avant-gardists" were chosen for their creativity, and the results will be exhibited around the world before being auctioned for Designers Against Aids. [DazedDigital]
• Topshop's London Fashion Week designer collaboration project is brilliant: once again, the high-street innovator will present budget capsule collections with fashion week designers like Jonathan Saunders and Ann-Sofie Back. The way of the future? [Telegraph]
• The first preview for Beyoncé's fragrance, Heat! It shows her in what looks like a Russian bath-house, singing Peggy Lee. [JustJared]
• And speaking of celebrity scents: Danica Patrick has one. It's called Danica. Insert diesel fuel joke. [WWD]
• And speaking of previews: In case you didn't get the memo, Project Runway is back in New York. Like, really, aggressively, back in New York. [BloggingProjectRunway]
• On Sunday, various royals and fashion royals came out to watch the premiere of Karl Lagerfeld's film Sergei, Misia, Coco et Les Autres…100 Ans de Ballets Russes, Chanel et ‘Le Train Bleu. "Guests were given two dance-inspired Lagerfeld picture books, entitled "Sergei, Misia, Coco et Les Autres" and "Les Nijinsky." [WWD]
• Lifetsyle brand Le Tigre put up this charmer of a billboard on Manhattan's West Side Highway yesterday: "Golf Needs a Tiger: Let's Get Back on Course." In case you're wondering, yes, Le Tigre is owned by punmeister Kenneth Cole. [WWD]
• "When I was asked as a child what I wanted to be, I'd say, 'I want to be rich, I want to be famous, I want to live in the big city, I want to have a fabulous life'," says Tom Ford. "All I've done my entire life is fulfil my destiny." Thoughts? [Independent]

• Jon Gosselin's having the worst week ever. Earlier, a judge ended his reality TV career and in his divorce from Kate Gosselin today, she got the house and most of the money, while he'll be making huge child support payments.

• An arbitrator decided Jon should pay five figures a month in child support and the $235,000 he withdrew from their joint account was deducted from his settlement (all of the money Kate withdrew really was spent on the kids). Maybe it's time to get a real job. [TMZ]
• "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on the children," said Kate Gosselin in a statement. "On behalf of myself and my legal team, I want to express my deep appreciation to the Judge and his staff, as well as to the arbitrator, for resolving this case. This has been a challenging transition for all of us, but I am confident that we will move ahead with the important task of restructuring our lives." [Radar Online]
• Beyonce's mother Tina Knowles has filed for divorce from her husband Matthew Knowles. A paternity suit was recently filed against Matthew and the documents say they "ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 5, 2009," the day of their 30th wedding anniversary. [TMZ]
• Gisele Bundchen revealed that she and Tom Brady named their son Benjamin in a post to her fans on her website. She thanked them and wrote: "I am living a very special moment in my life, Benjamin is a blessing and I could not be happier." [People]
• The Wayans Brothers' former assistant is suing them because he claims they stole their literary masterpiece You Know You're A Golddigger from him. [AP]
• Gross: During a trip to Universal Studios, Michael Jackson's children spotted browsing near the Magnet Max store, which sells pictures of them mourning at their father's funeral for $1.99 each. [Radar Online]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna that Jermaine Jackson was organizing has been cancelled. They couldn't find anyone willing to perform in the show after acts including Mary J. Blige, Chris Brown, and Natalie Cole pulled out. [Reuters]
• Lily Allen was supposed to perform at the charity show Mencap's Big Noise Session on Saturday, but she cancelled because she has a "severe recurrent throat infection." [The Mirror]
• As Keira Knightley predicted, her debut on London's West End stage drew mixed reviews. [AFP]
• Jessica Simpson's extremely drunk makeup artist was arrested early this morning for disturbing the peace and sources say Jess went to the jail to bail her out, but police said the woman was still to drunk to be released. [TMZ]
• The YouTube channels on teen stars including Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and the Jonas Brothers were hacked today so that the front page showed a black screen with a letter on it that collectively spelled out "fuck you." Miley Cyrus' page has the message "I hate Asian." [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods' mom Kultilda Woods is "hurt, angry and disappointed in Tiger. She wants to know how he could do this to his family.... She loves him and will support him through anything, but she needs some time to work through this... It was devastating to her. She likes Elin, and adores her grandchildren. She's worried about them. She doesn't want to see them hurt." [People]
• Thursday on The View, Elisabeth Hasselback asked Stanley Tucci if his wife, who died of cancer in May, had seen The Lovely Bones. She Tweeted today: "It was an honest mistake with stanley tucci today & i called him to apologize," she wrote. "He forgave me (such grace)- if only i could forgive myself..." [Radar Online]
• Rescue Me executive producer Peter Tolanbring says the show will bring back Maura Tierney, who had to leave the show after having surgery for breast cancer. He said her episodes will be shot in the spring, "so she can take care of herself and come back then." [People]
• Shane Sparks, one of the judges on the MTV show America's Best Dance Crew, has been arrested and charged with eight counts of child molestation. There is only one victim, a woman who says the "oral copulation and other acts" started in 1994 and continued for several years. Earlier this year Sparks co-star Alex Da Silva was charged with rape. [TMZ]
• Morrissey wrote on a fan site: "I am sorry that [his latest album] Swords was such a meek disaster. It was proposed and accepted as a budget-priced CD, yet emerged everywhere as the most expensive CD in the racks. It was poorly distributed and didn't stand a chance, and ranks as the lowest chart position I've ever encountered." [NME]
• Diddy says his 3-year-old twin girls are "Talking a lot more and they're very demanding... 'Sit down. Don't go anywhere, stay here, do this.' They give me a lot of orders. When they tell me to sit down, everything else gets put to the back burner." [People]
• Sophia Loren says of her famous quote, "Everything I am I owe to spaghetti," "It's not true! I never said it. 'I owe everything to the spaghetti?' It's not true. They put it in my mouth and it still goes on. It's not true. So silly. Can you imagine?" [CBS News]
• Emily Blunt says that while researching Queen Victoria for The Young Victoria, "The thing that shocked me was the required hand-holding down the stairs and Victoria's mother's sleeping in the same room as her daughter until she was 18. How suffocating that must have been, and not being allowed any friends or to read books - basically to be deprived of anything that could be inspiring or influential in any way." [WSJ]
• Sigourney Weaver says, "I changed my name when I was about twelve because I didn't like being called Sue or Susie. I felt I needed a longer name because I was so tall. So what happened? Now everyone calls me Sig or Siggy." [Esquire]
• "I love well-made clothes and its fun and it's a delight to get to borrow them and wear them. I love fittings as part of an actress' life, but it's not a preoccupation for me and I think that's the difference. I have tremendous respect for designers. ... I'm very fond of the world, but I'm not preoccupied. That's a big difference between myself and Carrie Bradshaw." — Sarah Jessica Parker [AP]
• Q: What do you think of Donald Trump? Rue McClanahan: I think of him as little, as infrequently as possible. But I do think he has a very bad hairdo." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Madonna goes all Italian neorealist for spring's Dolce & Gabbana campaign. You'd almost swear these images were by Vittorio de Sica, not Steven Klein. The advertising shots ran as editorial content "previewed" in Italian Vanity Fair. [Swide]

• If you believe TMZ, Elin Nordegren might get back at Tiger in a way that would really hurt: by signing an endorsement deal with Puma. [TMZ]
• Well, that's a twist: Ungaro's C.E.O. is resigning, while Lindsay Lohan will remain with the house that so controversially benefited from her pasty-designing prowess. [WWD]
• Kimora Lee Simmons is not judging America's Next Top Model, not even as a guest, says her rep. [The Cut]
• Saks informed 116 employees at its cosmetics and fragrance counters that the company is eliminating their jobs as soon as the holidays are over. The move comes just weeks after the employees had voted to unionize. Merry Christmas! [NYPost]
• Rodarte's Kate and Laura Mulleavy just won the same $50,000 grant as Sapphire, author of Push. [WWD]
• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady have yet to settle on a name for their week-old baby. Gisele vetoed the one they had picked out two days before giving birth, and they haven't been together long enough since then to really talk about it, says Brady. His only conditions are that it be "a traditional name" and something he can pronounce. [People]
• Zac Posen's collaboration with Target includes an actual gown that can be worn three ways, a tuxedo, and a red leather jacket. The print-heavy capsule collection will get the widest distribution of any Target designer collab yet. [Racked]
• Draw on your clothes lots as a kid? A dress designed by Berber Soepboer and Michiel Schuurman comes with fabric markers so the owner can add color to the eye-catching black and white print. [Daily Mail]
• Advertisements for Olay Definity eye cream featuring Twiggy were the subject of more than 700 public complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority in the U.K., and yesterday, those complaints were upheld. The government watchdog found the heavily retouched advertisement was "misleading." Proctor & Gamble, which owns the Olay brand, voluntarily withdrew the offending ad and replaced it with one they claim has had no post-production in the eye area. [BBC]
• Biba is being revived. Again. [WWD]
• American Apparel is getting into the nail polish business. "We think this nail polish captures what American Apparel is all about — a Made in the USA, high-quality product in a beautiful range of colors. It's a venture of families in manufacturing, from the factory in which the polish is made to the Nail Lacquer logo created by Dov's uncle, the noted graphic designer Israel Charney," says a spokesperson. The 18 shades are named things like "Factory Grey" and "Hassid" and, naturally, "Downtown LA," and they cost $6 a bottle. Expect memos from Dov about appropriate nail and toenail styles imminently, retail drones. [Blackbook]
• Or you could buy this darling new shade of teal, called "Dickweed." [Refinery29]
• Grace Coddington granted a surprisingly revealing interview to the Times of London — and lets slip that she originally proposed Susan Boyle to play the wicked witch in her recent Hansel and Gretel shoot. Anna Wintour nixed the idea and favored Lady Gaga, whom Coddington describes thusly: "She turned up in a white rubber coat, stark naked underneath. No buttons, nothing — and completely you know, shaved." That's right, we just read about Lady Gaga's pubic hair in the pages of a daily paper! Coddington discusses Wintour (they can't fight "like a married couple," Coddington says, because "my marriages haven't been that successful"), front-row fashion week punditry ("I'm not prepared to crush some poor designer who's just spent six months slaving over a collection. I think it's horrible and they all talk about themselves. Plus, the questions are so stupid"), and the car crash that happened in her early 20s ("I remember bleeding all over a policeman and apologising for the mess. I had this driving mirror sticking in my head. I got to the hospital and they started sewing me up. Then someone said, what do you do and I said I'm a model and they said, hang on a minute. They took out all the stitches and made them more fine. Isn't that terrible? Because as a young girl, wouldn't I want the best anyway?"). Coddington admits to favoring British models — Lily Cole, Karen Elson — and says that models these days become successful so early that she sometimes thinks they have "no personality." Then she alludes to working with Karlie Kloss: "I was working with a very successful one the other day and she told me her parents were coming to take her on a trip to the place she loved best. I thought, where's she going — Africa? It was Disney World. And I thought, ‘Good for you. You're still a child'." (Kloss went to Disney World with her parents for her 17th birthday.) Erin O'Connor chimes in to praise Coddington for her work, and for "getting it past the censors." [ToL]
• Lacoste, via a new partnership, is planning to launch high-end handbags and accessories. [WWD]
• Hermès and Gucci each hosted their own name-brand equestrian competitions in the same week. Can you say, "Attempt to appeal to some kind of presumably authentic brand heritage?" [IHT]

• Though "sources" recently claimed Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal had broken up, an insider now says, "Jake is planning to pop the question over the holidays and couldn't be more excited."

The source continues, "Her children love him, his family loves her and now it's time to make it official... Reese is a traditional sort of lady, which is one of the many things Jake adores about her, and Christmas is her favorite holiday." [Popeater]

• Break out the champagne: A Maryland Judge granted TLC's request for a preliminary injunction against Jon Gosselin this afternoon, so Jon must stop making media appearances that violate his contract with the network. Jon skipped the hearing and his lawyers didn't present any evidence. A trial is scheduled for April 19. [AP]
• Here's what Jon missed: TLC's lawyer said by the end of Jon and Kate Plus 8, the network was paying the family $22,500 per episode, not $75,000 as Jon has claimed. The network's reps also offered a run down of every embarrassing thing Jon did in the past few months that "made the show look bad," explaining, "photos of Jon Gosselin with scores of bikini-clad women was inconsistent with our image brand of our show." [Radar Online]
• In other news, sources say the Gosselin kids no longer believe in Santa. [Us]
• Rachel Uchitel's friend Ashley Sampson was the first person to give an on-the-record interview about Tiger Woods cheating. Rachel tried to cover up their affair by saying she barely knew Ashley and calling her a drug abuser, and now she may sue Rachel for defamation. "Ashley told the truth and Rachel trashed her and lied," said a source. "That made Ashley furious." [Radar Online]
• It appears Rachel Uchitel is moving. She was spotted lugging suitcases and picking up a ton of dog food. [TMZ]
• Jamie Jungers, another woman linked to Tiger Woods, will tell her story on Today, then sell it to a magazine. There's a rumor going around that Tiger paid for her liposuction, but her rep denies it. [Radar Online]
• In an interview with Extra, Jaimee Grubbs said she's "deeply sorry" for having an affair with Tiger Woods. "I couldn't describe how remorseful that I am to have hurt her family and her emotionally... [but] if it wasn't me, it was going to be other girls. I did care about him. I didn't do it for superficial reasons. I didn't do it to purposely hurt [Elin]," said Grubbs. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' mom Kultida Woods flew from L.A. to Atlanta today. [Radar Online]
• Poor Tiger: The scandal has forced him to cover up the name on his yacht. [Radar Online]
• If you're keeping track, the following stars still support Tiger Woods: Donald Trump, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, and Wylef Jean. Diddy says: "Ye without sin cast the 1st stone!!!! Put down your rocks sinners!!!!! Tiger keep your head up! God bless your fam Black man!" [Us]
• You can start holding your breath: Kourtney Kardashian's baby is expected "any minute," according to Khloe Kardashian. [Radar Online]
• The mother of Lamar Odom's two children ripped apart a recent story from Life & Style about Khloe Kardashian bonding with the kids. "My daughter met Khloe for about 10-15 minutes... I don't think a 15 minute meet and greet with a child can be defined as a bonding experience for anyone," said Liza Morales. Though the article claimed Khloe hadn't met Lamar Jr. because he was "too young to travel," Morales says, "The truth is my 8-year-old son told me he didn't want to meet her at that time." [Radar Online]
• Gisele Bunchen's mom and aunt visited her and Tom Brady in Boston for the birth of their child. Her aunt says: "He's a beautiful, healthy boy." Gisele's dad, who stayed in Brazil, says, "We don't know the name yet. I don't have all the details. But obviously when someone is born into the family, it makes us all happy." [People]
• At a press conference today Tom Brady called his son's birth "a wonderful experience in my life," and said they still haven't picked out a name. [Us]
• Shawne Merriman is suing Tila Tequila because he says she lied about claims that he "choked and attacked" her. But rather than suing her for defamation, he's going after her for intentional interference with contract and unfair competition because he says she was trying to ruin his career. [TMZ]
• Courtenay Semel thinks Tila Tequila's engagement to Casey Johnson is a stunt. "We're talking about the biggest fame whore in LA, and the other one — I think she's just lost her mind!" said Semel. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Taylor Swift straightened her hair. [People]
• Richard Heene, Mark Sanford, Jon Gosselin and Glenn Beck made FAIL Blog's list of 2009's biggest losers, and Imma let them finish, but KANYE WEST WAS VOTED THE TOP FAIL PERSON OF THE YEAR! [People]
• Alicia Keys says of Beyonce, who recorded a duet with Keys for her new album, "Her and I together was like reunited sisters - most people get in the studio and don't get a chance to really collaborate, be in one room, we were in one room having a ball." [The Mirror]
• Several bouncers at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club in Atlantic City have been fired after video surfaced of them beating two men in the club's parking lot last month. [TMZ]
• A source says of Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan, "They are getting to know each other... He's a nice guy." [Extra]
• Chris Brown called in to a Seattle radio station to promote his new album, but when the DJ asked about Rihanna, Chris said, "I'm really done talking about the whole situation ... I'm just moving forward." The DJ replied: "Fuck that, did Rihanna throw you under the bus or what?" And Chris' handlers hung up. [TMZ]
• Though there is no official Susan Boyle merchandise, there is an estimated £5 million a year market for Boyle-themed merchandise. [Blackbook Magazine]
• Pamela Anderson is doing a two week stint as the Genie of the Lamp in a London performance of Aladdin, but she cancelled her two premiere performances due to unspecified "issues." [Daily Express]
• Pamela Bach has been charged with DUI for failing a breathalyzer test on November 28. Since she has a prior DUI from earlier this year, she'll do a minimum of five days in jail if convicted. [TMZ]
• Axl Rose missed a soundcheck last night in Taiwan for an upcoming Guns n' Roses concert. It may be because he got into a fight with a paparazzo at LAX that "ended up with a few bloodied participants." [Rolling Stone]
• James Caan's wife Linda Cann is requesting full custody of their two minor children in their divorce. [TMZ]
• In Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" special last night, Lady Gaga was shown kissing a woman, but Adam Lambert kissing a dude at the AMAs was edited out. An ABC rep says: "It was an editorial decision to show very little from the performance and focus on the fresh, new interview with Adam Lambert," though much of the interview was about the kiss. He continued: "The Lady Gaga kiss was used quickly in context of things that upset her father." [TMZ]
• The Lilith Fair is coming back this summer and the lineup includes Mary J. Blige, Sarah McLachlan, and Sheryl Crow. Check out the full list here: [Perez Hilton]
• Amanda Peet announced she and her husband David Benioff are expecting their second child. [Perez Hilton]
• James Van Der Beek is dating model Kimberly Brook. [People]
• Miley Cyrus' song "The Climb," which was featured in Hannah Montana: The Movie was replaced in the Grammy nominations for best song written for a soundtrack by "All Is Love," which Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs wrote for Where The Wild Things Are. Miley's people say the song was submitted in that category by mistake, but the Grammy organization didn't offer any explanation. [People]
• Spike Jonze says he and Dave Eggers didn't speak to any children before writing the screenplay for Where The Wild Things Are. "I think it's interesting because not having children - Dave and I didn't have children at the time - we wrote it from our memories of childhood as opposed to our experiences as a parent observing a kid," he said. [The Independent]
• Jenifer Lewis didn't exactly crash President Obama's inauguration, but she did manage to trick security. Her seat was far from center stage, "So I went over to a Marine, and I told a fib and said that I left my credentials on the plane. And he was standing there at attention with that beautiful uniform on. His head tilted just a little. He didn't want to break formation. And he said, 'Aunt Helen?' He happened to be a 'Fresh Prince' fanatic. And he proceeded to escort me 30 feet from the podium." [CBS News]
• "I've lived with people speculating about my health for decades, and I don't say this with sarcasm, but sadly, I've outlived so many who have prematurely buried me," says Elizabeth Taylor. "There are so many things in the world that are more important than my health watch." [USA Today]
• "I always felt like a very ordinary looking girl, and I found that dressing in a unique way made me feel less ordinary and more glamorous," says Dita Von Teese, adding, "I also used clothes as a way to counteract my extreme shyness when I was younger. I wore a lot of extravagant vintage hats, which can make people somewhat intimidated. I think people will only approach if they have something very, very interesting to say to the girl in the outrageous hat!" [People]
• Meryl Streep drank a martini at a party after a New York screening of It's Complicated "I had to," she said, "to get through this." Also, when someone yelled "It's hard to be Queen," at Meryl, she shot back, "I wouldn't want her problems, believe me!" [Showbiz 411]
• When he was in college, Eli Roth of Inglourious Basterds worked as a sex chat room operator, posing as a woman. "They hired guys because guys know what other guys want to hear," Roth said. "The creepy thing was, because this was in 1991, we only got doctors and scientists because they were the ones using the Internet." [BBC]
• Here are some words of wisdom by 50 Cent from Esquire's "What I've Learned" column: "Always have bail money," "Money is freedom. Money is a private plane. Money is no metal detection," and "Being shot defines how strong I am. It prepares you for the confusion of being an artist." [Esquire]

• Jourdan Dunn, 19, has given birth to a baby boy with her boyfriend of five years. She memorably walked the runway for Jean-Paul Gaultier at seven months. [Vogue UK]
• Gisele and Tom Brady might name their newborn son Gabriel. [P6]

• Last night at the British Fashion Awards, Karen Elson strolled on stage to present a prize — and promptly stepped right into an orchestra pit. She fell four feet. (Kind of like that one time she fell on the runway at Zac Posen, but worse.) She picked herself and got back on stage to say, "I am the clumsiest person on this earth. I cannot believe I just did that. That is the worst fall I have ever had. I might have broken a rib, but I'm fine." [Telegraph]
• For a play-by-play of the night, Elle's got you covered. [UK Elle]
• Dita von Teese: "I also used clothes as a way to counteract my extreme shyness when I was younger. I wore a lot of extravagant vintage hats, which can make people somewhat intimidated. I think people will only approach if they have something very, very interesting to say to the girl in the outrageous hat!" [People]
• Terrell Owens has signed with Wilhelmina Models to pursue endorsement contracts. [AP]
• Martin Margiela, whose departure from Maison Martin Margiela was finally confirmed yesterday, was spotted shopping for a home in Los Angeles. [Fashionologie]
• Vogue Brazil — long the poor relation in the Vogue family, with, if you can believe it, an even greater propensity for jumping model/white background editorials than the American pendant — convinced Alber Elbaz to guest-art direct a stunning cover, and a fashion story inside. The results are lovely. [MadeinBrazil]
• Burberry will again show its women's collection at London Fashion Week in February. Until the LFW 25th anniversary last September, the brand's regular venue of choice had been Milan. [WWD]
• Today in off-beat holiday gifts: The Marc Jacobs skate deck. It's Canadian maple, people! [FWD]
• Betsey Johnson, for her part, would be satisfied with "a hot new lover." [WWD]
• Perhaps better than Barneys' "Saturday Night Live" seasonal windows is this offering from Moschino. The holidays are a time we all wish we could be in therapy, apparently. [FabSugar]
• Jason Wu is moving his West 37th studio to a bigger space. "When I first moved in there I painted the walls myself, it was very personal, I was like 'this place is so big, I'm never going to outgrow it'. Then we outgrew it," says Wu. Since the recognition that designing Michelle Obama's inauguration ball gown brought, he has also increased his output to four collections a year — spring/summer, pre-fall, fall/winter, and resort. "We need four seasons a year to keep the store stocked," explains Wu. [Yahoo!]
• Douglas Hannant, who has not benefitted from Mrs. Obama's sartorial munificence, explained his earlier reported comment ("Michelle Obama is not the next Jackie O") thusly: "I did say 'Michelle Obama is not another Jackie Kennedy and I do not consider to be a style icon.' But in addition, I also said 'she has so much more to her and has mass appeal. I admire her as a role model and think she will achieve great things in her position as First Lady.' And by the way, I voted for Obama." [The Cut]
• In other political fashion news, Hillary Clinton presented Blake Mycoskie of Tom's Shoes with this year's Award for Corporate Excellence. For every pair of Tom's Shoes purchased, two more pairs are donated to needy children around the world. As Mycoskie said at a gala for an entirely different ACE award earlier this year, "Shoes, for 40 percent of the world, are not an accessory. They're a necessity." [Blackbook]
• Naturally, as gigantic arena rock-star fashion shows become the norm, since fashion shows are more about generating publicity than they are about selling to store buyers and editors, more brands are taking the next logical step: making their fashion shows public, on the Internet. [Time]
• Adidas is entering the performance outerwear market. Which is a fancy way of saying: They're gonna make some jackets. [BW]
• Despite the recession, Mulberry's sales rose 16% in the six months to September 30. Naturally the Daily Mail uses this as an opportunity to run a bunch of pictures of celebrities carrying Mulberry bags, and ponder the wastefulness of women. [Daily Mail]

• Amy Winehouse divorced Blake Fielder-Civil in July, but it seems they've reunited: She arrived at his London apartment on Sunday and only left this morning at 3 a.m.

• He's still in an outpatient rehab program, but his mother has predicted that they'll remarry when he completes the program in February. "He'll be straight back with Amy in London. I know it won't be long before I get a call from Blake saying, 'Mum, I'm at the airport and we're flying off to get married,'" she said. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's parents are horrified by their reunion. "The romance is back on and everyone is frantic with worry," said a family friend. "They have vowed to one another never to get back into drugs. But together they just went into self destruct mode - and it was their separation that saved them." [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan is still in India filming a documentary on human trafficking. "She is a little overwhelmed and a little freaked out," says a source. "Lindsay is trying to be a trooper but the whole experience is a little scary. There is still unrest in India and her celebrity makes her vulnerable... There isn't much security there in general." [Radar Online]
• The National Enquirer claims Tiger Woods is worried that one of his many mistresses will release a sex tape and fears he may have fathered a love child. Usually, we'd question the Enquirer, but since so many sources mentioned that he's not a fan of condoms, it's a possibility. [National Enquirer]
• The Tiger Woods mistress count is up to 13: According to a "Las Vegas nightlife insider," he had a lengthy affair with porn star Joslyn James. [Us]
• Tiger Woods friend/caddie Steve Williams says: "I do not have any personal knowledge of anything in the reports related to the Tiger Woods stories. [My wife] Kirsty and I give our heartfelt wishes to Tiger, Elin, Sam and Charlie and hope this gets put to rest soon." [People]
• A source says of Elin Nordegren, "It is sort of sad that all of the golfers knew about Tiger's cheating throughout his marriage while poor Elin believed his lies when he told her he was not seeing any other women when on the road for days at a time." [People]
• In this video from May, Holly Sampson talks about sleeping with Tiger Woods on the website Naughty America: [TMZ]
• Veronica Siwick, one of Tiger Woods' mistresses, is a deadbeat mom wanted in the state of Washington for owing more than $12,000 in child support for her 10-year-old. [Radar Online]
• Representative Joe Baca of California has abandoned his campaign to give Tiger Woods the highest Congressional award for a civilian. Baca said: "In light of the recent developments surrounding Tiger Woods and his family, I will not pursue legislation awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal this session." [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel was locked out of her New York apartment yesterday so she broke into one of her balcony windows. [TMZ]
• In addition to Tiger Woods, Jaimee Grubbs has also been linked to George Clooney. She says, "I know him," and a source says they slept together. [Us]
• Tiger Woods' property backs onto a lake and neighbors say a "flotilla of paparazzi set sail" yesterday in an attempt to catch him, to no avail. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus is taking a break from music. She says: "I want to do my last pop record, I'm working on a record right now. I kinda want this to be my last record for a little while and be able to take a break and just get all the types of music that I really love... you know my favourite styles. And be able have something edgier and not have to worry about people saying, 'Oh, this isn't what her fans want to listen to.' Because in a few years, as I grow up, so will my fans and I won't have to focus on that as much and I'll be able to have more of the sound of music that I'm into. "[Contact Music ]
• Last night Rihanna had her new motto "Never a failure, always a lesson" tattooed on her chest backwards. [Ok]
• Tila Tequila is engaged to Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson. She announced in her USTREAM video: "This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first — Tila army fans — tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!" [Us]
• Jude Law has joined the panel of celebrities who will judge the Australians in Film Scholarship, which was set up by Michelle Williams after Heath Ledger's death. [Daily Express]
• Jude Law, who is one of the actors who took over for Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, says of judging the scholarship: "I am delighted and honored to do what I can to keep Heath's legacy alive. He was a brilliant actor and a wonderful man and it is only fitting that this scholarship has been developed in his name." [People]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach released this statement today asking fans to help save him from alcoholism: "The despair, feeling hopeless and unable to believe that things can ever change with David's alcoholism over the years has affected our whole family. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We ask David's fans, supporters and handlers to take swift action to save this wonderful man's life." Exactly what she wants fans to do is unclear. [Radar Online]
• David Bowie's son Zowie Bowie, who now goes by Duncan Jones, won the Best Director prize from the British Independent Film Awards for Moon. [Showbiz411]
• R. Kelly is writing a memoir. It will be published in 2011 and doesn't have a title yet. Any suggestions? [UPI]
• Tyler Perry announced on his website that his mother Willie Maxine Perry died recently. She was 64. [AP]
• New Moon director Chris Weitz is defending 22-year-old Samantha Tumpach, who could go to prison for 3 years for taping a few minutes of the film in a theater. "There is, needless to say, a difference between trying to protect the copyright of a film and making an unfair example of someone who clearly seems not to have any intentions towards video piracy," Weitz wrote in an email. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Robert Pattinson told Italian Vanity Fair, "I am single... almost everything that came out about my private life is false." He says he thinks people gossip about him because, "Really, there is not much to say about what I'm doing... While I am filming, I live practically [like a] recluse in [a] hotel. I come out only to work, and sometimes to go out for dinner. But, if you read the magazines, it seems that I have a frantic high life." [Radar Online]
• Jerry Hall impersonated Jordan on The All Star Impressions Show. [The Sun]
• Kevin Smith announced on Twitter that the name of A Couple of Dicks, the Tracy Morgan–Bruce Willis cop comedy he directed, has been changed by the studio. He wrote: While we'll always have DICKS in our hearts, the title we just now locked makes me smile on a bunch of different levels - including this 1: we can now advertise our movie properly (& ironically)." [N.Y. Post]
• Clay Aiken may have voted illegally in Wake County, North Carolina but the county elections board is ending its investigation because Clay wrote them a letter asking to be removed from their voting rolls. He lives in neighboring Chatham County and has criticized local school board candidates. [AP]
• Designer Shane Starlet says that backstage at the AMAs after Adam Lambert's racy performance she told him, "Be gay, fine! But stop trying to defend it all the time, Adam. What you pulled tonight was disgraceful. You could have been huge but now you're no different than a Jerry Springer low-life." Adam replied: "Shut up, bitch!" [Radar Online]
• The White House has released a picture of Oprah Winfrey posing with the Obamas when she filmed her special Christmas at the White House: An Oprah Primetime Special, which airs Sunday. [People]
• Though some reports have blamed Christie Brinkley for Alexa Ray Joel's rumored suicide attempt, a source "close to the situation" insists that she just accidentally took too many doses of the homeopathic medication Traumeel and she's "bouncing back beautifully" with her parents' help. "They're focused on making sure she is going to be alright," said the source, adding that she "has the most attentive parents... She is very close to Billy, and Alexa and her mother are really best friends." [People]
• Lisa Leslie and her husband Michael Lockwood are expecting their second child. "When we found out he was a boy, Michael shouted, 'Yes, thank you Jesus!'" said Leslie. [People]
• A charitable trust set up by Dukes of Hazzard creator Gy Waldron has filed a $15 million lawsuit against Warner Bros. for allegedly shortchanging it on royalties from the show. [MSNBC]
• A man who was identified as a "terrorist group leader al-aqsa martyrs brigade" in Bruno is suing the film's producers and Sacha Baron Cohen because he says he's actually a just a Palestinian grocer. [TMZ]
• George Michael responded to Elton John pushing him to go to rehab by saying he should 'shut his mouth and get on with his own life." Elton's partner David Furnish responded: "The difficult thing for Elton and me is a lot of George's friends keep calling us saying 'you have to do something, George is in a bad way, he's in a bad state. We're only reacting to what his close friends say to us. I respect George, I love George, I think he's a huge talent. I just hope he's fine." [Daily Mail]
• A Samuel L. Jackson iPhone app is in the works. The creators say it will play his most famous quotes and feature "untamed" advice from Jackson. [Techland]
• Bridget Moynahan, mother of Tom Brady's son Jack, says in a statement: "I wish [Tom and Gisele] the best with their baby. I'm sure my son will enjoy having a half-sibling. I ask the press to respect our privacy while we are welcoming this new addition to our extended family." [People]
• When asked if he and Gisele Bunchen have a name for their baby Tom Brady said, "I don't have any picks, so we haven't really chosen one yet, but everyone is great. Everyone is doing really well." [People]
• Pauly D, one of the self-describes "guidos" of Jersey Shore says he'd be happy to pose in Playgirl adding, "I didn't tell anyone about my piercing, but I'm not shy." [E!]
• Idina Menzel is in talks to join the cast of Glee as the choir director for New Directions' rivals, Vocal Adrenaline. [EW]
• Sources say while filming her upcoming TV special Susan Boyle did a weird jig in the middle of the song "Who I Was Born To Be." They asked her to do the song again, but once again, she added the jig. "It was odd and very out of character with the song and with the show," said the source. "Susan just looked like she was doing it as a break from the seriousness and the pressure of having to sing throughout a show. It's going to give us a bit of a headache – we will have to edit around it." [The Mirror]
• According to court documents, Devar Hurd sent Ashanti's mother and father crude text messages about their daughter along with graphic photos and a picture of their home. His case could go to trial next week. [AP]
• Khloe Kardashian reports that her sister Kourtney Kardashian has an unusual plan for feeding her child: "Kourtney was like, 'I'm so excited. I don't have to cook for five years!'" said Khloe. "And I go, 'What do you mean?' She's like, 'I'm gonna breast feed.' I go, 'For five years?' She has, like, no idea!" [Extra]
• Khloe Kardashian says the worst thing she's learned about Lamar Odom in their first month of marriage is that he like to eat candy in bed. Says Khloe: "I fell asleep before him one night, and he was eating candy. He was watching TV, eating candy, and he fell asleep with chocolate-covered almonds in his hand, and he hugs me when he's asleep. I woke up in the morning, and I was like, 'What is on me?!' The chocolate melted off, and it was almonds in the bed, and I was like, 'Ewww. What is going on?'" [E!]
• Morgan Freeman says Nelson Mandela personally asked him to play him in Invictus. Freeman says he replied: "If I'm going to play you, I'm going to have to have access to you. I'm going to have to be close enough to hold your hand." [Reuters]
• Sinead O'Connor says people misunderstood why she ripped up a picture of the Pope on SNL in 1992 because the story about some priests abusing children had come out in Ireland, but not the U.S. She explains that she wasn't protesting religion: "People say, 'Why did she do what she did?' I did what I did because I actually do believe in God, and I love God, and I don't like to see God being libeled. If God were here now today he, she or it would be suing a whole lot of fuckers for libel." [Tonic]
• Looking for a good holiday gift? Johnny Depp recommends you buy a goat for a family in the third world from Oxfam Unwrapped. "I can honestly say I'd love to get an Oxfam Unwrapped goat for Christmas. It's the perfect gift - something that is sure to be appreciated, and can potentially even change people's lives. Really, who needs more stuff?" [The Mirror]
• Martha Stewart and her daughter Alexis Stewart did an awkward interview in which Alexis said, "She is faking it when she says she likes me." Martha said: "I like that she is very strong and can do many physical things... I like that she has a vast library of books and absorbs a lot of information. I like how she lives... Well, I don't totally love how she lives." Alexis replied: "What the fuck does that mean? That I don't have a husband and a big ring and children?" [N.Y. Magazine]
• Heidi Klum and Seal are relentlessly well-adjusted. Recently Seal adopted Heidi's daughter Leni from Heidi's ex-boyfriend Flavio Briatore. He says: "Heidi handled everything (the adoption). Flavio was a gentleman about the whole thing. I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. I'm not just talking about in a professional level but just in the way that he has handled the situation, which, let's face it, must have been really difficult.I don't know if I would have been that adult about it. I certainly have nothing but good things to say about the way he's been with us and he's more than welcome to see Leni any time he wants to." Daily Express]
• Seal also says: "I was homeless at 17 and was sleeping in the Underground and in homeless shelters. It's not like I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was given up for adoption and lived with foster parents so I know what it's like to have rejection. I've paid my dues and don't feel guilty for the perfect lifestyle people see that we have. Both Heidi and I worked our a**es of to get here, no one gave it to us." [Daily Express]

• Gisele Bundchen has given birth to a baby boy. Husband Tom Brady has a two-year-old son with actress Bridget Moynihan. [People]
• A Chantilly lace LBD worn by Audrey Hepburn in How To Steal A Million sold for $97,000. [AP]

• Naomi Campbell might do a modeling reality show in the U.K. Then she and Tyra would really have something to fight about. "Naomi has been approached with an offer, which we are talking about and discussing," says her spokesperson, somewhat redundantly. [UK Vogue]
• Executives at Maison Martin Margiela have confirmed that the Belgian designer, famous for his closely guarded privacy and his avant-garde designs, has left the house he founded and later sold to Diesel. Margiela's presence or absence at the house had long been a subject of speculation, with most fashion commentators, including us, operating on the understanding that Margiela the person was gone, but this confirmation comes with a twist: Diesel will not be hiring anyone to take Margiela's place. (Haider Ackermann and Raf Simons had been mentioned as potential replacements.) The design work will continue to be spearheaded by the 28-strong creative team, saving the house the expense of a "name" creative director. Will this work? Fashion design is a collective effort — all designers rely heavily on their creative teams for the generation, not just the execution, of ideas — but fashion observers yearn for an identifiable individual (even one who is rarely seen in public) to pin their criticism on. [IHT]
• Yesterday morning, police executed raids on 30 businesses on Canal Street in Chinatown, long a hotbed of counterfeiting. The Cut snapped a photo of what a shop without its imitation Coach and Prada goods looks like: basically a particleboard shell with racks and cases. "It's time to take back the streets of New York," said a police officer. Could this be the start of a crackdown? [The Cut]
• The counterfeit goods seized, including perfumes and handbags, filled an entire trailer. The sting was the result of a month long investigation carried out by the police and a private firm called Counter Tech. Officers made controlled buys of the imitation goods, which bore the trademarks of companies like Cartier, Gucci, Tiffany, and Chanel, and then used those goods to obtain search warrants. Investigators noted that during the five weeks they observed Canal Street, there seemed to be more foot traffic in the stalls than ever before. [WWD]
• Apparently pointing out that Michelle Obama "is not the next Jackie O" is enough to count as evil, unthinkable "sniping." Designer Douglas Hannant allegedly said this perfectly reasonable thing — Michelle Obama and Jackie Kennedy-Onassis are different women who had different roles in public life even if they shared a position, and all the Obama/Kennedy comparisons are a tad trite — and people gasped. [P6]
• Vogue is doing a shoot with fashion bloggers. Somehow our invitation must have gotten lost in the post! There are allegedly seven bloggers involved, and only three of them have been named: Tommy Ton of Jak & Jil, BryanBoy, and Todd Selby of The Selby. Who are the others? Garance Doré recently mentioned losing weight thanks to Anna Wintour in New York, and Tavi Gevinson certainly merits inclusion. Seeing the women behind Refinery29 would also be great (although they were just in Elle). But how much do you wanna bet it'll just be Julia Frakes and Sea of Shoes again? [Fashionista]
• Speaking of Tavi: She plays a prominent role in this video about the Rodarte for Target collection. You won't spend a better 2:37 today than watching Tavi interview Elijah Wood and Jason Schwartzman at the Rodarte show, or seeing the Target ad shoot in surprisingly picturesque North Dakota. [Style.com]
• And Tavi is now writing for Harper's Bazaar. [WWD]
• Just what you needed for the holidays: A $3,000 Judith Leiber Hello Kitty clutch. [Racked]
• Tamara Mellon went out to the premiere of A Single Man after trouncing her mother, Ann Yeardre, in a legal battle. Mellon, the owner of Jimmy Choo, won a $10 million settlement against Yeardre after some Jimmy Choo shares were mistakenly transferred to Yeardre, and she refused to give them back. [P6]
• The spring Louis Vuitton campaign has leaked. Lara Stone's position, reclining on dark, mossy grass, with white doves and, duh, handbags, looks like a friendlier revision of editorials done by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott, one earlier this year for Vogue and the other in 2007, for W. The ads were shot by Steven Meisel. [Blackbook]
• After auctioning off all his and Yves Saint Laurent's artworks and household goods, Pierre Bergé is putting their 5,400 square foot Paris apartment on the market. It has a garden roughly equal in size, and is expected to sell for around $30 million. [WWD]
• Curious about who the most powerful 25 people in British fashion are? Well now you can find out. Good to know the British Fashion Council's on top of this stuff. [Telegraph]
• Carolina Herrera is opening her first freestanding store on Madison Avenue. [WWD]

• Taylor Swift received eight Grammy nominations. "I started freaking out and jumping up and down," she claims. On winning one, she says:

"The thought of that absolutely is something that you daydream about." Taylor, Imma let you finish, but Beyoncé has TEN Grammy noms. [AP, People]

• Details on the Grammy noms at this link. [NY Post]
• Taylor Swift has also inked a video-on-demand deal with Comcast. [Reuters]
• Rachel Uchitel, the first woman accused of having an affair with Tiger Woods — and who denied that she had one — is MAYBE ready to admit that she did hook up with the golfer; her attorney, Gloria Allred, has set up a press conference, which will take place today. [Radar Online]
• Here's the deal: Rachel Uchitel supposedly lied when denying an affair with Tiger Woods to protect him. And she was the one — not Jaimee Grubbs — whose texts caused an argument between Tiger and his wife. [TMZ]
• File this under shit you never wanted to know: Tiger Woods' alleged mistress, Jaimee Grubbs, "has a history of chasing famous sports professionals, tried to get into Playboy and made a sex tape." [Radar Online]
• By the by: Tiger Woods offered Jaimee Grubbs a job: he offered her a condo or apartment, and he said she could stay there for free and "sort of manage the property." [Radar Online]
• Kalika Moquin, alleged mistress #3, had no idea who Tiger Woods was when she first met him, according to sources. When she found out he was a millionaire golfer, she started hooking up with him. [TMZ]
• Ugh: Cheater-oriented website Ashley Madison wants Tiger to do ads and promotion for them. And porn company Vivid Entertainment is offering $1 million to any woman who has proof she was Tiger's lover and signs a contract with them. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' sponsors are standing by him, and, since he makes $110 million a year in endorsements, that's a big deal. [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods and his wife and in "intense marriage counseling." And Elin Nordegren has demanded "a total rewrite on the couple's prenuptial agreement." [Us Weekly]
• More on the Tiger Woods prenup renegotiation here. [The Daily Beast]
• Someone at a Las Vegas club spilled a drink on Orlando Bloom's shirt, so, naturally, one of his friends called the John Varvatos store and within 30 minutes, someone arrived with three brand new shirts. Right there in a packed 200-capacity dining room, Orlando took off the soiled shirt and put on a new one. Girlfriend Miranda Kerr was one of those admiring the view. [Page Six]
• Chris Brown's interview with ABC News' Robin Roberts will air on 20/20 Friday night; in this promo, Chris says: "I never ever had problems with anger. No, no domestic violence with any of my past girlfriends. I never was that kind of person. ... I look at it, and it's really, like really difficult. It's like, 'How could I be that person?'" [ABC News]
• Oprah will have a "significant presence" on OWN, her cable network launching in 2011, but she won't be doing a cable version of her talk show. [NY Post]
• George Clooney's girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis is on the cover of German FHM wearing… very little. Also, the mag calls her "Fraulein Clooney." [NY Daily News]
• Will George Stephanopoulos replace Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America? [NY Post]
• Colin Firth stars in A Single Man, a film written and director by fashion guru Tom Ford. Colin says: "He told me I looked good, but I'd look better if I had a personal trainer." Tom corrects: "I told him he was fat." [NY Times]
• Oh, great. "Despite falling ratings, MTV's The Hills will return for a sixth season." You know why? Because MTV has NOTHING else. [Variety]
• People who squabble on The Hills do shots together when the cameras are not rolling. [Page Six]
• ABC has canceled Adam Lambert performances AGAIN — this time on Jimmy Kimmel Live and New Year's Rockin' Eve. Glambert Tweeted: "Yes, sadly friends, ABC has canceled my appearances on Kimmel and NYE. :( don't blame them. It's the FCC heat ... I AM doing Leno though. And lookin into something for NYE ... It'll all blow over. Let's focus on being positive! :)" [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Whee: Ricky Gervais will host the 2010 Golden Globes. [Variety]
• Michael Lohan, ever the underminer, predicts that Jon Gosselin will lose TLC's breach of contract lawsuit against him. [MSNBC]
• In this piece, people have amusing things to say about Viggo Mortensen. The Road director John Hillcoat says: "He's a passionate guy." Director Peter Jackson says: "I just didn't know how gung-ho he'd be for everything… [If a scene called for Mortensen to climb a mountain], he'd be the guy who slept outside in a sleeping bag to get a start on the day." Fran Walsh, Jackson's partner and Lord of the Rings co-writer, says: "He's almost like a hippie. We picked him up at the airport one time, and he wasn't wearing shoes. I still have no idea how he got through the airport barefoot." Viggo himself says: "I know it sounds clichéd, but I didn't want to do anything for fame. I just love the arts." [USA Today]
• Sometimes Page Six is like a celebrity message board; today the bulletin is for Alec Baldwin's former girlfriend, Nicole Seidel: He still loves you and would do anything to get you back. [Page Six]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Tom Brady knows the sex of the fetus Gisele is carrying, even though Gisele does not. He says: "It's a pretty good feeling knowing something that no one else knows." [People]
• Ashlee Simpson has already succeeded in pissing off the cast of Chicago, and she just made her debut on Monday night. [Gatecrasher]
• Page Six claims Candice Bergen and Anna Paquin "just missed each other" at a hotel in Long Island; obviously no one at the column saw this picture from the set of The Romantics. [Page Six]
• Rosie Perez effed up her job presenting awards at the Gotham Independent Film Awards on Monday night. [Gatecrasher]
• Mother-daughter bonding! Candy and Tori Spelling have been mending their relationship! Candy says: "I'm looking forward to a lot of wonderful things. We have taken this private, which is what I've always wanted and I think so did Tori, and I'm really thrilled." [E!]
• Fresh-out-of-the-closet Meredith Baxter is writing a book about her life and shopping the story. [Page Six]
• Steven Keaton supports Elyse Keaton's decision to come out. [People]
• Yasmin LeBon critiques Simon LeBon's gigs with Duran Duran: "I give him a debrief after the show – the lights, the sound. I just can't help it." [Daily Mail]
• Hulk Hogan is engaged to girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel. [NY Daily News]
• "I was supposed to be his assistant as well as work with him on a book and other endorsements such as a motorcycle line and a kids clothing line, and kids' stackable furniture. His contract with TLC never came up. It didn't seem to concern him." — Kate Major, in a deposition in TLC's lawsuit against Jon Gosselin. [Radar Online]
• "I'm trying to find roles that demand more adulthood from me because you can get stuck in a very awful cute cycle as a woman in film - especially being such a small person. I'm a really late bloomer. In my own life, it's only been the last couple of years where I'm like, I'm an adult. I'm not totally an adult but…" — Natalie Portman. [USA Today]
• "I feel like a human being again. There was one point in time where I felt like...[Sighs.] I don't know-I felt like plastic. I think I looked plastic. My face, fat plastic. [Laughs.] I was eating, but the Vicodin made me hungry because it eats up your stomach lining, so you want to fill your stomach back up, but then it stops you up so you can't shit, you just-That's why I was gaining so much weight, I was just so fucking bloated. It's a trip when people take sobriety for granted. Feeling trapped in my addiction and then getting sober-you appreciate it so much more, because I didn't know if I would ever know what it's like to feel normal again, ever." — Eminem, who has been sober for 19 months, talks about drugs, music, Dr. Dre and much much more in an extensive interview. [Complex]
• "When you read things about Michael Jackson it's hard to decipher what the fuck is true, but there's the story of how he woke up at whatever time and he needed something to go back to sleep because he had this or that and it didn't work. That's exactly what used to happen to me: I would take a couple of pills and I would be up an hour later and I'd want more. Then I'd take more and that would be enough to maybe get me back to sleep for two more hours. Then I'd be wide awake again. So I definitely can relate, and it's a shame if he didn't have anybody there to just say, 'Michael, you're an addict, you need help.' It's one of the pitfalls of fame. I could just say, 'Yo, I need this and this and this,' and they're going to give me whatever I want…" — Eminem. [Complex]
• "I overdid everything. I was hung over for two years. If I didn't drink, I didn't do anything. It was bad. [My new album] is not all about getting sober. The problem is, I did all the drinking for my whole life in a two-year span. I wish I had spaced it out. Drinking is great. It makes you happy. But the next day, it makes everything feel as twice as bad as it was before. So what's the point? It's delicious but poisonous." — Julian Casablancas. [CNN]
• "[Being armed and dangerous] turns me on in a way I that I shouldn't be saying. It's boring to always play the victim or the compliant little woman. Eff that! Why don't you have my baby and wait at home while I go kill some mother[bleepers]? It's just very empowering." — Zoe Saldana. [Page Six]
• "[After 30 Rock, I would like to manage a Laytner's Linen on the upper West Side. Every time I'm in there, I wish I worked there — free towels." — Tina Fey. [Gatecrasher via Entertainment Weekly]

• John Travolta allegedly refused medical help after his son Jett suffered a seizure — which is why the paramedics in the Bahamas were trying to blackmail him.

Reportedly, Travolta wanted the ambulance to drive his son to an airport so he could be flown back to the US for treatment — instead of to the island hospital, 45 minutes away. [Daily Mail, Mirror]

• John Travolta will be the first witness called today. And there may be a secret videotape which allegedly shows the attempted extortion. [TMZ]
• Jaclyn Smith is not dead, despite what Perez Hilton has reported. He apparently mistranslated a story about her stunt double's suicide attempt. Smith's Twitter reads: "Jaclyn is safe and home with her family. She is not in Honduras. It is a lie." [Vancouver Sun]
• Just to clarify: Jaclyn Smith's former stunt double — from her Charlie's Angels days — may have attempted suicide and may be in critical condition, but Jaclyn Smith is fine. [E!]
• Two photographers are suing Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, claiming the couple's bodyguard shot at them outside the Costa Rican estate where the couple were having wedding celebrations. [NY Daily News]
• Congrats to Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., who welcomed newborn daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze on Saturday. [Page Six]
• Mickey Rourke will play The Ice Man in a movie about a a sadistic Mafia hit man who murdered more than 200 people. [Page Six]
• In court documents, Britney's American Express card charges for the first 11 months of her conservatorship have been revealed: She spent $5,183.13 on restaurants; $10,096.53 on travel and $17,370.29 on furniture. [TMZ]
• Chloë Sevigny and Jason Segel drink champagne and eat chocolate and kiss and hold hands and so on. [Page Six]
• Beyoncé has rescheduled a concert in Malaysia after canceling what was supposed to be her first show there. Scheduling conflicts? Or the country's strict dress code? [UPI]
• How much would you love to see Will Ferrell sing a karaoke version of "Wanted Dead Or Alive"? [Page Six]
• Get well soon, Megan Mullally! She was injured in a car crash last week, and while the injuries are minor, she had to cancel performances of her play The Receptionist in L.A. [TMZ]
• According to a court order, Aerosmith's concert next month in Hawaii must be of the same "quality, type and duration" as a regular Aerosmith concert: No half-assing it with a 30-minute gig. [People]
• Billy Joel has a new lady in his life, a "Katie Lee-esqe brunette" named Deborah Dampiere. [HuffPo]
• The Jay Leno Show has lost more than two-thirds of its initial viewers. [USA Today]
• A woman connected to Michael Jackson's personal physician (Dr. Conrad Murray) — she may be his girlfriend — has been ordered to testify before a grand jury in Los Angeles. [CBS News]
• New details in the Anna Nicole Smith case: Two nannies who worked for Anna claim they saw Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich inject drugs into Anna's system. Afterward, she would be all messed up — falling in the house; sleeping for two or three days at a time. [TMZ]
• In addition, there are legal documents stating that Anna Nicole Smith and her shrink, Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, took nude pictures together in a bathtub and their relationship "crossed the boundaries of professionalism." [TMZ]
• There will be a court session for the Anna Nicole Smith case this morning, and Howard K. Stern could be charged with 11 different felony counts. [TMZ]
• Take a minute and read this interview with Charlotte Gainsbourg, about her experience shooting Lars von Trier's Antichrist. She talks about panic attacks, self-harm, working with a porn actor (or trying to) and doing movies with taboo subjects like incest. And she says: "Lars does portray his own fear of women and the sexuality of women. It's not at all a hatred against women-it's really quite the opposite. He's sincere in the way that he's talking about his own fears, his own questions, but he's not accusing women… Of course, [my character] has some kind of an evil part to her, but for me, it had a lot to do with the grieving and going into madness. And then the act of physically cutting herself was the extreme of madness and just trying, with her guilt, to-there's no way of coping with it, so how do you hurt yourself in the most horrific way?" [Village Voice]
• Alexandra Richards was hired to DJ a party but left after 38 minutes to go have dinner — yet she expected to be paid for the full 3 hours her contract stipulated. [Page Six]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Maybe back on, if you care. [Page Six]
• Friends and family attended the funeral of Jasmine Fiore over the weekend, and "everyone was crying." [NY Times]
• "The cow's a diva; it's a little known fact.  She's not very giving." — Josh Jackson on his costar in Fox TV show Fringe. [Teen Television]
• "What I try to do is take the best bits of my mother's charitable work and the best bits of my father's charitable work and do them both together. I'm not in their league, but I'm warming up, hopefully, and I'm trying to do what I can." — Prince William. [Telegraph]
• "I was funny in school. I was funny in the classroom. I really got tired of giving it away for free. People say, 'How can you talk all day?' I could do it on the phone or do it on television. A painter paints. I yak yak all day." — Joy Behar, whose new show on HLN (formerly Headline News) begins next week. [WaPo]
• "I saw her on a chat show. I'd worked with her before on Alias and she's always happy and always pleasant to everyone really and when she swears she says thing like 'darnit' and 'darn' — now even The Waltons go a bit (further). Her favourite swear word is 'rats' - that's not a swear word! Rats isn't a swear word." — Ricky Gervais on Jennifer Garner, who he calls "Miss Goody Two Shoes." [Mirror]
• "This was a very joyous moment where I've got new life. It was also a very sorrowful moment, where my sister had gone on, and the family that donated the kidney had lost their daughter as well. My first reaction was that I wished I were back on dialysis to have my sister. These two people had left this earth – and I was here. Why? I feel like I don't deserve it." — Natalie Cole, on getting a life-saving kidney transplant and then learning that her sister Cookie had passed away. [People]
• "I was about 24 years old, and I had tons of acne. I met some random girl on a bus who told me to quit dairy and all those symptoms would go away three days later. By God, she was right." — Woody Harrelson. [Page Six]
• "She's not playing the victim! The press plays the victim for her. All the stories about her-'She's so lonely.' Please! She's having the time of her life! She goes to Mexico every other weekend with her girlfriends, while Angelina and Brad shuffle their kids across country. Would you rather wake up with a margarita or eight children?" — Chelsea Handler, on Jennifer Aniston, who will be a guest on Chelsea's show. [Village Voice]

• Kate Gosselin says that though Jon Gosselin called the breeder and had their two family dogs taken away, "They'll come back I'm sure at some point. But for now, I just needed a break."

• She explained: "He called the breeder and took them back for a short period of time. I'm feeling like I have not enough time to take care of my kids, let alone give the dogs what they need, and the kids surprisingly weren't that upset about it." Kate added that she's amazed by the strength of the dogs saying, "They sleep in a metal crate... a huge metal crate. They bent the bars and got out. I think in the winter I'm going to have them pull the kids in a sleigh." [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin took her kids to an Amish farm, then took her daughter Cara to the radiologist to get her foot scanned. Jon did not appear on the episode and Kate said, "It feels very normal to be here by myself, to take care of the kids not with Jon but with a babysitter... It's starting to feel like the pity party is gone." [People]
• Here's one way to combat bullying: Amy Winehouse showed up at a school in London and spit on and insulted a girl she heard was bullying her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield. After a bystander broke up the incident Amy signed a few autographs and left. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse has started working with Mark Ronson again on her third album. Rapper Lethal Bizzle says, "I was talking to Mark about Amy. He thinks she's getting better and they are working together and will start recording soon. Everything he does is awesome. I think he's brilliant and was excited when he wanted to work on my album. Me and Amy go way back too. We did gigs when I was in a band called More Fire Crew. She was proper cool. I reckon it will be another great album." [The Sun]
• A YouTube video of Beyonce singing "Halo" to 11-year-old cancer patient Chelsea James in Australia has gone viral. Watch it here: [News.com.au]
• Kelly Osbourne reportedly broke down in tears before her performance on Dancing With the Stars last night because she got nervous and texted her mother Sharon, but security wouldn't let her in. "Sharon didn't have the proper credentials," says a source from the show. "Ever since last season's scare with Shawn Johnson and her stalker, security has been beefed up big time." [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman's play A Steady Rain was one of the top three earners on Broadway last week. It's rare for a non-musical to crack the top 10. [Variety]
• Michael Lawrance Kozelka, who was arrested for allegedly stalking Jewel, last week after showing up to her house with a pocket knife and a dog. the local sheriff says, "He was not aggressive and was not mad... He just said he was on a mission from God, that God told him to come to Stephenville and led him to this ranch." [AP]
• The CW announced that Heather Locklear will guest star on the new Melrose Place by issuing a press release titled, "The Bitch Is Back!" [Mercury News]
• Police inspector Andrew Wells testified in the John Travolta extortion trial today that John initially wanted his son Jett to be taken to the airport instead of a local hospital in the Bahamas. It has been previously reported that John thought it would take just as long to get to Florida, and Jett would get better care there. [TMZ]
• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are being sued by a pair of paparazzi who claim their bodyguards shot at them during after their wedding in Costa Rica. They say they had clearance to take pictures from a nearby property, but bodyguards harassed them anyway, then shot at them with pistols as they tried to escape in their SUV. [TMZ]
• Ashton Kutcher's Facebook video series KatalystHQ is a hit. So far it has been viewed by 9 million people since its February debut. [Media Week]
• In the video at the link celebrities including Will Ferrell and Jon Hamm appear in a fake PSA urging Americans to think about the plight of the health insurance companies if Obama manages to overhaul the health care system. [Politico]
• Oksana Grigorieva says even though she's pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby, they haven't even considered marriage. "Actually we have no plans to marry whatsoever," she said. "I haven't thought about it – we haven't spoken about it." [People]
• Scott Storch ended his friendship with Brandon Davis because Davis allegedly confessed to stealing one of his diamond watches. [Contact Music]
• Eminem's music publisher Eight Mile Style LLC is suing Apple for copyright infringement for allegedly selling 93 of his songs on iTunes without permission. [AP]
• Gina Gershon's former agents are suing her because they claim they got her a job on Broadway, but she refused to pay them the 10% commission on the deal. The suit describes her as a "user" who "chooses to forget about those people who help her in her career." [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom just registered at Williams Sonoma, so their guest have less than a week to pick up a gift for their wedding on Sunday. [TMZ]
• Katie Price says her friendship with her "dressage instructor" Andrew Gould angered her ex-husband Peter Andre and contributed to their breakup. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Federline has signed on for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club. His ex Shar Jackson and Bobby Brown will also be on the show. [TMZ]
• Seth Green is the new spokesman for Butterfinger. He'll keep using Bart Simpson's line, "Nobody's gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger." [Brandweek]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom will marry on Sunday at the home of family friend and music manager Irving Azoff. A source says, "It will be a very detailed and classy affair." [People]
• Though Bruce Willis married Emma Heming in March, he says it "seems like less than a month. She's not only my best friend, but my wife." [People]
• Jeweler Neil Lane says Zooey Deschanel and Benjamin Gibbard were "absolutely adorable" when they came in to pick out their wedding rings last month. There are pictures of Zooey's rings here: [People]
• Jordan Belfi says of his character on Entourage, "Adam Davies has become ... one of the few characters on the show that really knows how to get under Ari's skin and push his buttons. Ari is an entertaining character, and it's fun to watch him go after things, but people really enjoy kind of when Ari's off balance." [CNN]
• Lost star Sonya Walger who will appear on the new show FlashForward, says, "I got married six weeks ago... It's just a sweet thing. I haven't got a better word for it. It's an enormous amount of sweetness." [People]
• Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on Lost, says he wants to be on True Blood with his wife Carrie Preston. "I think it would be fun if I got to play her father," he said. "I would go on any Alan Ball show to do just about anything. I will be the face in the window, I will be the cab driver… I don't want to be a vampire." [Ok]
• Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones will star in a new Broadway production of A Little Night Music beginning in November. [Press Release]
• On October 12 George Takei and his husband Brad Altman will become the first gay couple to appear on The Newlywed Show. Takei says, "We get to show how normal and happy our 22 year relationship is. We got married last year but we've been together for 22 years, so we may have a leg up on the other newlyweds!" [Fancast]
• Mackenzie Phillips will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show tomorrow to talk about how she hid in her home, made compulsive purchases and struggled with personal issues. She's expected to reveal a family secret she's kept hidden for 31 years. [CNN]
• When asked how she juggles motherhood and her career Jennifer Garner said, "You just take it one day at a time. Oh gosh, let me know when you figure that out. I don't think anyone has it." [People]
• Leelee Sobieski, who is expecting her first child later this year says, "I think I like eating what little kids eat... I eat less ice cream now than I did before because the baby takes up space." [People]
• "Apparently, there's a lot of debate going on right now, whether I'm qualified or not to be the new judge on 'American Idol'... I'll tell you right now, how I know I'm going to be a great judge — because I've spent my whole life being judged. So, I know what it's like. So, I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean." — Ellen DeGeneres [Entertainment Tonight]
• Taye Diggs says that since Idina Menzel gave birth to their son Walker last month, "It's been amazing just to come home to that little dude... Every time I leave the house, it just makes me want to come back even more. It's just a great prize waiting for me." He added, "I have a newfound respect and admiration that borders on worship of my wife... Just to see her turn into a mother overnight is amazing." [People]
• Master interviewer Larry King asked Tyra Banks if she still "thinks like a fat person" now that she's lost weight. She replied: " I don't actually. You know... when I told the world to kiss my fat ass, I remained that size for two years. I maintained it with my ice cream and my salad with ranch and dressing and croutons and bacon bits. Like I — I didn't look at myself even on television and think that I was too big or — I don't know. I didn't — it didn't connect. But since I have lost a lot of weight, and it started with the — a weight loss challenge, actually at the top of this year. So I'm two years after 'kiss my fat ass.'" [CNN]

• The San Diego District Attorney's office has closed Tila Tequila's case against San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman, stating that "there is insufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that any crime was committed." [TMZ]

• Tequila's rep begs to differ: "Tila Tequila is the victim of a violent crime. The San Diego District Attorney's decision not to press charges against Shawne Merriman for the battering of Tila Tequila demonstrates an unconscionable negligence in the discharging of their public duties. We strongly feel that justice has not been served in this matter." Her rep also claims that Tequila plans to file a civil suit against Merriman. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan says that when she was younger, she wanted to be like Britney Spears: "I think I always kind of aspired to be like Britney Spears in the tabloids when I was in middle school," she says, "It's kind of something you sign up for in the beginning and if you really want it, you know that comes with it." [TheSun]
• Former WWE wrestler Jeff Hardy has been arrested and charged with felony drug trafficking. [TheSun]
• "I love going to the Playboy Mansion party with my boyfriend. Last year, we got dressed up as dead foppish Brits with topcoats and white contact lenses. These naked girls on Ecstasy kept coming up to us, like, 'We love your contacts.' We'd twirl around and say, 'Well, we like your breasts!'"-Neil Patrick Harris [ONTD]
• Matt Damon's daughter, Alexia, got a kick out of her father's 30 pound weight gain for his role in The Informant: "She had fun with it by squeezing all the soft squishy parts and called me 'Fatty Matty,'" Damon says. [People]
• Levi Johnson is definitely going to drop his pants for Playgirl, but reportedly can't decide if he wants to show "the front or the back." [TMZ]
• A collection of 10 Andy Warhol silkscreens, all of famous athletes, has been stolen. [Yahoo]
• Audrina Patridge has filed a restraining order against an "overzealous male fan." [TMZ]
• When Nicky Hilton was asked if she was glad that her sister, Paris reunited with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, she replied: "Ummm...no." She later said she was kidding, though. [E!]
• Katherine Heigl says her husband, Josh Kelley has always been supportive of her desire to adopt a child: ""I just wanted to make sure that I was marrying a guy who understood that that was going to have to happen," she says, "So about a year ago is when we said, 'OK, let's start the process,' and the process is intense. It's different but it isn't, do you know what I mean? It's just as intense I'm sure to have a baby biologically because you're going through the whole physical sort of thing of it." [Radar]
• Tom Brady has confirmed that he will be a father again: his wife, Gisele Bundchen is due in December. [People]
• Susan Boyle reportedly broke down in tears when she heard her album for the first time. "I think at the point where she didn't win, she was afraid everything would be taken away from her and she was going to go back to that little house," Simon Cowell says, "She didn't want to go back to that life." [ShowbizSpy]
• "As a model it is normal to be taking your clothes off all the time. I wouldn't think I was ever too old to do something like that. I mean, maybe if I was 60 or 70, then yes, I'd stop doing nude shoots, but then it depends who's asking."-Claudia Schiffer [DailyExpress]
• Amy Winehouse has agreed to sing at a Greek wedding tonight for £20,000. [TheSun]
• Meryl Streep says she's "exhausted" from making seven movies in two and a half years, and plans to slow down a bit: "I haven't ever considered giving up acting," she says, "but I do need enforced rest in my career. When each of my children was born I took a year off. It is very nice to have time to live, gather experiences and watch other people." [ShowbizSpy]
• Chace Crawford and Bar Refaeli were spotted dancing together in NYC last night: ""At one point, Bar reached down and grabbed Chace's backside," says a source, "They were very affectionate with each other." [JustJared]
• "I don't like boys who are mean to their mommies. That's a real turn off for me. And I don't like boys who aren't chivalrous. To me, not being respectful is a big deal.""-Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]
• "No, I wouldn't call myself a feminist at all, really. I don't know what a feminist is. I believe in women having a say."-Dame Judi Dench [Guardian]

• Lily Allen is suing The Sun over an article in which the British newspaper quoted her as calling Victoria Beckham a "monster" and insulting several other celebrities. Allen says she never made the comments. [The Guardian]

• Christine Prody is shopping a tell-all book about her 13-year relationship with O.J. Simpson called Spellbound: My Life With O.J. Simpson. She claims that he forced her to have two abortions, threatened to kill her, and compared her to his murdered ex-wife Nicole. [Newser]
• Michael Jackson has filed legal papers asking a judge to throw out a judgment against him. Jackson's former publicist Raymone Bain got a default judgment in her lawsuit against Jackson for allegedly failing to pay her because he never responded to the suit. MJ says he was never served with the papers. Bain counters that she tried to serve him, but a security guard at his home told the process server "Get the fuck out of here!" [TMZ]
• A Massachusetts teacher saved Tom Brady's life after he fell into Boston's Charles River while kayaking with Gisele Bundchen. Robin Leeds was on the river in a motorboat when she saw that Brady was in the water. "I actually asked him why he fell in. He said he was racing one of his friends," said Leeds, who found Brady "really friendly, really appreciative that we fished him out of the Charles." [People]
• Sources claim Gisele Bunchen is pregnant, and that she's "ecstatic." The source adds, "Gisele will be an excellent mother." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston had dinner last night with Bradley Cooper, her He's Just Not That Into You costar. Cooper says they're not dating, but TMZ has decided that they are. [TMZ]
• An anonymous source insists, "It was a date. She is taking it slow. She is obviously looking for love, but is not about to rush into anything." [People]
• TLC has released a new clip from Monday's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, which makes it pretty clear that they'll announce they are divorcing. Kate Gosselin says, "We haven't really known where we were going but we've been dealing with this a long time." In a separate interview, Jon Gosselin says, "It just got worse and worse and worse. And with all the tabloids and all that, it just made it even worse." [People]
• Jon Gosselin was hunting for an apartment in New York City and checked out Trump Place. "[Jon] has been going back and forth to New York a lot" says a source. [People]
• A source says that Katie Lee Joel, 27, is divorcing Billy Joel, 60, because of their age difference. "It really was just an age thing," said a friend. "She loves the city, she loves to go out and have fun and he prefers to stay at home. The age difference didn't seem to be a big deal seven years ago [when they met], but it has become one as they got older... They just grew apart." [N.Y. Post]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger sent Senate President Pro Tem Darrel Steinberg a metal sculpture of bull testicles as a joke after saying that lawmakers needed to make bold decisions during budget negotiations. Steinberg returned the sculpture with a note about the seriousness of the negotiations. [MSNBC]
• At the Tribeca Barnes & Noble last night, a staffer said 1,000 people showed up for Lauren Conrad's book signing. She did not actually read from L.A. Candy and would only sign her name, not a personalized message. [N.Y. Magazine]
• T.R. Knight released a statement confirming that he's leaving Grey's Anatomy. He said, "Leaving Grey's Anatomy was not an easy decision for me to make. I am extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to play this character and will miss my fellow cast and crew very much. I continue to wish them the very best, and wholeheartedly thank all of the fans who have supported me and the show with such passion and enthusiasm." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Camilla Belle says even though they were seen out on what the tabloids called a date, she and Robert Pattinson are just friends. "We have a big group of friends and we saw each other last night," she said.. "[Pattinson] is very cool – a very nice guy." [People]
• Stephen Baldwin has quit I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! for unknown reasons. [Perez Hilton]
• A federal judge has set July 15 as the deadline by which Morgan Freeman and the woman suing him for the car crash they were in must submit settlement proposals. [Yahoo]
• Susan Boyle has skipped two performances of the Britain's Got Talent tour this week. Her publicist said, "She would love to be able to perform every single evening but she is aware of what she can and can't do. I feel sorry for her because she doesn't want to let people down but also she needs to have a rest." He stressed that the reason she cancelled was not because she missed her cat Pebbles, as the tabloids reported. [E!]
• Susan Boyle pulled out of another show today and reportedly had a screaming fit and needed to be calmed down by the show's organizers. [The Daily Mail]
• Joe Jonas announced that Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus are back together on Larry King Live last night. When Larry asked if Joe's girlfriend is as famous as Nick's, Joe said, "I don't think anybody is as famous as Miley Cyrus." Nick seems a little upset and says, "It's nice to have reconnected with her. For a little while there, we had not been as reconnected as we are now." [People]
• Kelly Rutherford and her estranged husband Daniel Giersch have agreed that he will give her lawyer his visa and visa application within the next week. It seems she is worried that he may try to leave the country with their two children, Hermes and Helena. [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey is taking her entire staff and their families on a Mediterranean cruise. The cruise ship will stop in Spain, Italy, Turkey, Greece and Malta and Oprah is paying for their transportation, food, drinks and activities at port stops. [The Chicago Sun-Times]
• After watching the girls at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy in South Africa put on a show for the school's annual arts festival, Oprah said she was overwhelmed by the girls' talent and that they are "living the vision" she had for them. [USA Today]
• Usher shot a new ad for the Body By Milk campaign and said he now feels he's arrived. He said in order to be a Hollywood icon, "You've got to do things like win Oscars and Grammys, but you're nothing if you don't have a milk ad!" [People]
• The Rachel Zoe Project returns to Bravo on August 25. [The L.A. Times]
• Louisiana movie investor Jay Dykes Jr. has agreed to dismiss Madonna from a lawsuit that accuses the film production company she founded, Maverick Films, of failing to repay investor's loans. [AP]
• Julianne Hough will star opposite Chace Crawford in the remake of Footloose. [Variety]
• Heather Locklear's publicist says Heather and Jack Wagner are not engaged. [UPI]
• Michael Bay says if there is another Transformers movie he won't direct it, because he's sick of getting bad reviews. "I need to do something totally divergent, something without any explosions," he said. "It's easy to go shoot an art movie in a winery in the South of France. But people have no idea how hard it is to create something like Transformers. They (the critics) review me before they've even seen the movie." [IMDB]
• Paul McCartney's book about the adventures of a squirrel, High in the Clouds will be made into an animated film. McCartney will write new music for the film. [The Star]
• PETA sent a letter to Phish asking the band to change their name to "Sea Kittens" for a June concert in Wisconsin. "If Phish became Sea Kittens and the band's legions of fans started calling fish 'sea kittens,' fewer of these gentle animals would be violently killed for food, painfully hooked for 'sport,' or cruelly confined to aquariums," says Ashley Byrne, PETA's Sea Kittens campaign coordinator. "Whether they are catfish or cats, bass or basset hounds, all animals deserve lives free from needless pain." [PETA.org]
• Peter Andre broke down and cried as he greeted his mother at the airport in Cyprus. Meanwhile his estranged wife Katie Price was seen out at a nightclub with Anthony Lowther for the third night in a row. [The Daily Mail]
• NYU alum Todd Phillips did a Q&A a the school and showed his film The Hangover but the University was annoyed by a story he told about claiming university equipment was stolen and ripping off an insurance company. The school has issued a statement saying, "we were appalled by a story in which he made light of committing insurance fraud as a student. Whether or not this story is true, we assure you we never have, and never will, condone behavior that does not respect people, property, and legal documents." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Holly Madison was turned away from Body English at Las Vegas' Hard Rock Hotel & Casino because she showed up with a group of Playmates and one of the women wasn't 21. [People]
• Though Megan Fox says she is "what you would call single," she was spotted having dinner with ex-fiance Brian Austin Green. [The Sun]
• So You Think You Can Dance judge Mary Murphy said she doesn't know if the rumors that Katie Holmes will appear ont he show are true or not, but "If it is true, I'm going to be one of the happiest campers around, let me tell ya! I just wish I knew!" [People]
• New York Jets safety Kerry Rhodes plays a police officer in Lady Gaga's video for "Paparazzi." "The shoot was ridiculous!" he says. "Everywhere you turned there was a dead body – not real! – a really big horse-looking dog, and a half-naked model, which was cool." [People]
• While performing his song "Only Women Bleed" onstage, Alice Cooper pretends to beat his 27-year-old daughter, Calico. "Obviously people have talked [about it being weird] that 'she's prancing around half naked on the stage,'" Calico said. "I'm like 'there's a point to that, it's like Shakespeare, it's painting a picture of stuff that's reality in a lot of people's lives." She added that she's looked into the audience and seen, "everybody from little housewives down there crying their eyes out, to big biker guys wiping big tears away. [Domestic abuse is] a heavy subject and I think it takes a brave guy to not just write about it, but write a scene and write a sketch that's uncomfortable." [CBS News]
• Bethenny Frankel of The Real Housewives of New York wrote a lengthy blog post once again about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She wrote: "And lastly, as for Dina blogging that TV isn't just for money and that I should apologize by donating "some of that Skinnygirl money" to her charity, here is my response: Dina, I happily donate my time and money to the Children's Tumor Foundation, Camp Confidence and the Step Up Women's Network, just to name a few. Dina, for you to insinuate that you did this reality show for charity, I will quote my friend Kathy Griffin and say, "That's a bag of bulls—t." [E!]
• Evan Rachel Wood says she's going to be on True Blood as a lesbian vampire. She said, "I actually put in a phone call to [series creator] Alan Ball and said, 'I love the show, I'm obsessed with it, seen every episode; if there's ever a part, keep me in mind.' It looks like I'm going to be in the last two episodes as the Vampire Queen of Louisiana. I've been watching The Lost Boys and my favorite vampire movies. It's a lot harder than I imagined. I'm working pretty hard on the script. But I don't think I'll really be able to find the character until I'm in wardrobe and I'm in fangs." She said she'll be in a sex scene, "But it's with a girl. That's all I'm going to say... I don't think vampires are really gay or straight. I think she just prefers women." [Newsweek]

• Funny, this picture of Amy Winehouse looking "healthy and stylish" still looks off. British label PPQ is bringing the troubled singer's long-rumored fashion line to fruition — if you count PPQ "providing all materials and doing the design," as anything like having your own collection. [This is London]

• Here are about 500 words on how Michelle Obama sometimes lets the press know what she is wearing, and sometimes doesn't. [WWD]
• Designers at Sao Paulo Fashion Week have agreed to cast a minimum 10% quota of models of African or indigenous South American descent. Last year, only 2.3% of the models — 8 girls out of 344 — were non-white. The quota will be enforced by a hefty $120,000 fine. [BBC]
• In more news from the annals of New York real estate envy, Sally Singer, fashion news and features editor of American Vogue, lives in an eclectic apartment in the Chelsea Hotel. [The Selby]
• Pat McGrath, one of the sweetest and most talented makeup artists around, was in New York to publicize Dolce & Gabbana's new makeup line, which she helped develop. What McGrath would like most, however, would be the fountain of youth in a pill, or her own, namesake line, like François Nars, Laura Mercier, and Bobbi Brown. One of those things just might come true, in a just world. [NY Times]
• Since Gisele and Tom got married and became 78% more boring, voilà: your new model/quarterback couple is Hilary Rhoda and Mark Sanchez of the Jets. [P6]
• Complicated modern woman Miuccia Prada: "If you compare with philosophy, [fashion] is frivolous, but frivolity may be something good, something that is part of our lives, so I don't dislike it and what I like is the mix, that in your life you can have serious things, [and] more frivolous ones...Beauty is not something that is contrary; it is the right of everybody." [CNN]
• Thierry Mugler earned a kind of fashion comeback when Beyoncé chose him to design the costumes for her current world tour. And why not? Cinched waists, severely cut skirts, and padded shoulders are everywhere now. While Mugler has no plans to re-start his label, which he had already sold to Clarins long before he quit designing in 2000, this profile explains just how a ballet dancer from Strasbourg came to fashion prominence, via driving a van around Afghanistan and living in the Haight-Ashbury in the late 60s. Interesting start for a man who's made all his money from perfume since 1992. [Telegraph]
• "I don't like most perfumes," says Nicole Miller. Which is why she had to make another one of her own! Perfectly logical really. [WWD]
• And Armani, too, has a new perfume. His scent pays tribute to his muses. [WWD]
• How does El Museo Del Barrio in New York raise funds? Why, by getting Isabel and Ruben Toledo to tutor students from Spanish Harlem in art, and then auctioning their work — "portraits of Latin icons like Salvador Dalí and Christina Aguilera," reports Style.com. Also, by throwing a kick-ass party where Gloria Estefan took the stage. [Style.com]
• Burberry, which moved into the space vacated by New York magazine on Madison Avenue, will turn on its big neon sign next Thursday. Designer Christopher Bailey and CEO Angela Ahrendts will fly in from London for the vernissage. Neon signs of this type aren't normally permitted in that part of Midtown, but because of New York's iconic sign, now dismantled, Burberry has a rare opportunity to grandfather its own in. [HintMag]
• Oh, how cute. The Daily Mail have an anonymous fashion mole. Today, s/he reveals that — gasp — models aren't paid very much (but do get to meet a lot of the rich menz, which we of course totally love, since we're all privileged alphas doing this to snag hubbies anyway) and are often required to change their names. For practical reasons, such as our agencies not wanting four "Jennifers" on their books. Shocking. [Daily Mail]
• Aeropostale's profit for the first quarter grew a whopping 81% on last year. Sales were up 21%, and same-store sales jumped by 11%. [The Street]
• First quarterly profits at Gap Inc. dropped by 14%. [WSJ]
• Aquascutum's chief executive Kim Winser has resigned after the rejection of her bid to buy out the company. [WWD]
• Designer denim sales are one thing that is not going soft in the current economic climate — high-end jeans sales grew by 2.3% in the quarter just ended. [LA Times]
• Brooks Brothers luggage: launching just in time to take to Southampton for the opening of the summer place. What a relief! [WWD]
• Linda Morand, who runs this website — probably the best compendium of 60s fashion magazines out there, and the members who scan and post to it care about identifying models to boot — is to be one of the producers of a two-hour television tribute to the supermodels of the last six decades. The idea is to make it an annual event, and impanel judges of industry prominence to induct models into it. I can't lie; I would probably watch this. Especially if it turns out better than the Vogue/VH1 Fashion Awards. God knows I've happily killed far more than two hours on MiniMadMod60s. [PR Newswire]

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

He may have violated the probation of his L.A. DUI conviction. If so, it's back to the slammer. [People]

• According to this report, Kiefer Sutherland will surrender today and be charged with with third-degree assault for his "attack" on Jack McCollough. [NY Daily News, TMZ, E!]
• Kiefer will get a desk ticket for the headbutt — meaning he won't be jailed and he's free to travel. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Donald Trump intends to make a decision about Miss California Carrie Prejean very soon; additionally, the guy from the website which has been releasing "controversial" photos of her says he has more, and he intends to post them. [E!]
• The Carrie Prejean semi-nude pictures will "roll out" slowly. [CNN]
• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, has filed legal papers asking the LAPD to state how the picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. If there was misconduct by law enforcement, Geragos will file a motion to have the case dismissed. [TMZ]
• Oprah wrote her Time 100 essay about Michelle Obama on her BlackBerry: "And then I went to hit the wrong button and the whole thing deleted! I went to hit 'Save' and instead I hit ... 'Oh my God! Oh my God! It's gone!' That ever happened to you? And then you can't remember - not one sentence you wrote." What did she do? "I couldn't even think for two days… I couldn't even, like, think of a sentence. I stared at the BlackBerry, then I hit every button trying to make it come back. I hit 'Options.' I did everything!" Then she started over. [New York Mag, Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Sam: Romantic relapse? A source says Sam might take LL back. They've been texting and "having visits." But another source says: "Lindsay plays stupid mind games saying she is being pursued by major celebrity actors. She has a lot of free time to play all these childish games. Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay." [People]
• This paper claims that Lindsay Lohan "chased her ex-lover across LA yesterday before finally tracking her down at 2am and demanding one of those horrible late-night discussions." [Daily Mail]
• Steve Zahn had to touch Jennifer Aniston's ass for the new flick, The Management, and says: "We had to do it so many times. It's so weird, very awkward and bizarre. [But] she's a pro, a gifted actor, humble, modest, a genuinely kind person. She has no agenda. She's just a really beautiful person." So wait: she's not desperate and lonely, sobbing over an empty uterus? Huh. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says if there's gonna be a Friends movie, "they should hurry up." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper: Flirting??!?!?!?! [Page Six]
• In the new Marie Claire, Beyoncé says that when she was singing for the Obamas in January, she was almost overcome: "I had to tell myself, 'They asked you to do this. You have to do a great job. This is their history. Calm down. Calm down… I barely made it. Literally seconds before the song started, I was crying like a 5-year-old." [People]
• In this video, some dude who works security at a Pennsylvania motel says Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 shows up frequently and was seen "romantically kissing" a woman who was not his wife. [Radar Online]
• "Twilight fans fell in love with Robert Pattinson as a vampire who makes girls swoon. But in Little Ashes, which opens on Friday, the actor explores a relationship that could reshape his heartthrob image." No one wants you to forget that he sexes a dude in this flick. No one. [Reuters>]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson lawsuit; this one involves a former publicist who claims, "Mr. Jackson has elected not to honor the financial obligations of our contractual relationship." She wants $44 million. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon is thought to be connected to a man named John Witherspoon, who left Scotland in 1768 and went on to witness the signing of the Declaration of Independence. A BBC series, A History Of Scotland, will tell his story. [Daily Express]
• Guess who's started working out with Tracy Anderson — Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer? Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]
• Are cops in Massachusetts targeting celebs in Massachusetts? What's with all the searches on Tom Brady and Matt Damon? [E!]
• Dr. Phil has fired 15 members of his staff. "It was a bloodbath… People who had worked together for years suddenly were unemployed," says a source. Ouch! Someone call Oprah. [Perez]
• WTF headline of the day: "When Harry Met Tranny." (Daniel Radcliffe had dinner with a drag queen.) [The Sun]
• JJ Abrams says of the original TV series Star Trek: "I remember appreciating it, but feeling like I didn't get it." He was not a Trekkie! "I had no idea there had been 10 movies! I still haven't seen them all." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Trek, Zachary Quinto couldn't do Vulcan fingers while filming and JJ Abrams had to glue his fingers together. [Page Six]
• Director Robert Rodriguez was working on an adaptation of Barbarella — with Rose McGowan playing the Jane Fonda role, naturally — but the project is now dead. No orgasmatron! [MTV]
• Jennifer Aniston, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Hardwicke and cinematographer Petra Korner will be honored at the 2009 Crystal + Lucy Awards, presented by Women in Film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie Holmes will star in a thriller called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, scripted by Guillermo del Toro. Xenu knows she could use a hit flick. [Variety]
• Robert De Niro and Edward Norton will star in an indie psychological thriller Stone, about a a correctional officer (De Niro) who is seduced by the wife of a convicted arsonist (Norton) up for parole. [Variety]
• Susan Boyle is now in the top 5 list of most watched viral videos, right under Soulja Boy and something called Achmed the Dead Terrorist. [NY Daily News]
• Megan Fox wants to be like George Clooney: "He's sarcastic, and he has a different girlfriend constantly. It's considered charismatic. He's like this James Bond, sexy dude. The older he gets, the better he gets. It's a double standard. To be outspoken, or different at all, is a problem for women. As soon as you curse or, God forbid, make some sort of sexual reference that's a joke, you're (labelled a party girl). They don't do that with men, so I feel it would be a lot easier." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "tattooed bisexual." The horrors. [The Sun]
• Liz Hurley thinks people look sexier in the country than in the city. Also, she likes to have sex on sheepskin rugs in front of fireplaces. [Daily Mail]
• In 2000, Jemima Khan's plane was hijacked; she says her hair turned white after the incident and she's had to dye it ever since. [Daily Express]
• A new biography reveals that Stephen King "spent most of the Eighties on an extended drug and alcohol binge which so fogged his mind that even today he cannot remember working on many of the books he wrote during that period." [Daily Mail]
• Ryan O'Neal says Farrah Fawcett has "lost her famous hair" from battling cancer. [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal also says: "It's a love story. I just don't know how to play this one. I won't know this world without her." [People]
• Trent Reznor is pissed at Apple, because a Nine Inch Nails iPhone app was rejected for having 'objectionable content." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Stanley Tucci's wife, Kate. [Page Six]
• Olympic silver medalist Sasha Cohen is returning to competitive figure skating. Will we see her in Vancouver for the winter Olympics? [AP]
• Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin is being sued for not paying her Home Owner's Association fees. How rude! [Perez]
• James McAvoy, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Anna Friel will star in The Details, a flick about a a couple who discover an infestation of raccoons in their back yard. [Variety]
• Rare Marilyn Monroe photographs for sale — on eBay. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Would I run for public office? A delegation of Democrats from Ohio asked me if I wanted to run for a Senate seat in 2004, and I said it was a tempting offer, but no. We already had an old actor in national politics, and it didn't work out so well. He shall remain nameless." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "The rumours aren't true. We aren't moving. So many people come up to me and say 'I hear you're moving.' We love America. We've been very happy here." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I've never changed my name officially. I never have and I never will. In my heart, I am still Ramon. I love the name. I would never give it up." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "I'd like to see Benson and Stabler get together...but I can't let that happen. Mariska [Hargitay] and I have been a wonderful, solid married couple now for 10 years-we see each other more than our families. It's just nice to get a different dynamic in there every once in a while." — Chris Meloni. [E!]
• "I'm looking for an encyclopaedia and a dictionary. A bit of the Boy Scouts Handbook. A person who is conscientious about the trail he leaves behind him. I'm attracted to intelligence and creativity and passion — and not necessarily the romantic kind. I want to learn from someone who is greedy for information and light and laughter and the whole world." — Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [Mirror via Glamour]
• "We know the people whose lives are on the line-those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender-will be there. But we need everyone there. Especially straight people." — Charlize Theron, who is encouraging Californians to attend a Meet In The Middle For Equality rally in Fresno. [E!]
• "I'm a big fan of Tyra's! She is sexy. I mean, I don't really get obsessed with anyone, but Tyra is definitely hot." — Idris Elba. [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60 . This is the law of diminishing returns. The trick is to age honestly and gracefully and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it." — Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]

• A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]

• The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
• David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
• By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
• Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
• "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
• Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
• Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
• Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
• Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
• Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
• Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
• John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
• Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
• Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
• Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
• A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
• Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
• Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
• An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
• "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
• "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
• "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
• "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
• "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
• "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]

[Vancouver, April 28. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• This shoe is made by Christian Louboutin, out of python skin, leather, cobbler's glue, and, we assume, diamond-plated unicorn farts. Because what else could justify a $2,875 price tag? Happy recession! [The.Life.Files]

• Lindsay Lohan made the cover of Taiwan Harper's Bazaar, which a celebrity blogger initially misidentified as China Harper's Bazaar. An international incident unfolded in the comments. "Actually it is from Taiwan's Harper's Bazaar,not China……." wrote the user SAM. "Taiwan is a part of China," shot back someone called liangjuan. "Taiwan is independent as territory of the ROC, it is not part of the PRC," offered a stickler for details. "TAIWAN IS NOT PART OF CHINA!!!!! It is an independent country and it has NOTHING to do with China," said Taiwan Is My Life. Someone else pointed out the extensive use of Photoshop, and several users debated the invisibility of Lindsay's freckles, and downright Freudian levels of cocaine use. Someone called A split the difference: "photoshop does wonders ha. and taiwan and china are not the same." Then someone who reads Mandarin on The Fashion Spot pointed out the cover is from April 2008, not April 2009, and the seeming importance of all this faded. [JustJared]
• Charlotte Ronson threw a party for her J.C. Penney line, I Heart Ronson (which is pretty bad). This story doesn't mention how Lindsay Lohan was turned away at the door by security. Then she Twittered that Sam Ronson had broken her heart. [WWD]
• In response, Lindsay threw herself into her work. She's now designing pantyhose! Control-top pantyhose. [The Cut]
• People has the details of Gisele Bundchen's wedding gown. Presumably they shot this grainy telephoto image of a woman wearing an white dress before their photographers' window was shot out by a trigger-happy bodyguard? The dress and veil were John Galliano, custom, of course. Gisele's veil involved six feet of white silk tulle and hand-sewn lace, while her gown was bias-cut silk satin. [People]
• Veronica Webb might launch a jewelry line. "I would make accessories that would be the ultimate building blocks of women's wardrobes," she told New York last week at a Topshop opening party. "You know, things that they could interchange from season to season, and no matter what, they'd have the perfect little thing at their fingertip every time you need to get dressed in twenty minutes and leave the house — the belt that matters, the hoops that matter." Ah, yes. Accessories that matter. I've always craved those. Then she said Kate Moss was only as tall as her 6-year-old. [The Cut]
• Roberto Cavalli went ahead and extended his licensing deal with Itterre SpA, the bankrupted manufacturer whose subpar construction and late deliveries Cavalli alleged was the reason he had to cancel his fall Just Cavalli show at the last minute. At the time, Cavalli ranted — and cried — about Ittierre's actions to the international media, and Ittierre threatened to sue. Cavalli's new deal wipes away $26.5 million in royalties the designer claims Ittierre owes him. He must really want to sell that 20% stake in his company. [WWD]
• Alessandro Dell'Acqua has quit as creative director of Malo after less than a year in the position. IT Holdings SpA, the parent company of Ittierre, owns Malo and the label Gianfranco Ferré, which has been rudderless since the death of its founder last year. After Ittierre went bankrupt, IT Holdings was forced to announce its own bankruptcy. [WWD]
• Karen Elson, the British supermodel who married Jack White, moved to Nashville and opened a vintage store with a stylist friend. They look very happy. And well-dressed. [Blackbook]
• The CEO of the Gap, Glenn Murphy, took home $9.3 million last year. Despite his company's under-performance. [WWD]
• Christian Siriano would like everyone to know that CariDee English, formerly of that television show about weaves and feelings, is not his casting choice for his fall campaign. CariDee happened to do a test shoot recently with Brad Walsh, Siriano's photographer boyfriend, and for that shoot, Walsh styled CariDee in clothes from Siriano's main collection and shoes from his Payless line. Then, CariDee gave an interview to After Elton about how OMG she loves teh geighs SO MUCH!!! (and Fashion!), and somehow, the interviewer came away with the impression that the shoot was for Siriano's campaign. Which is not true. Christian loves CariDee, and he would do anything for her, but he won't do that. [The Cut]
• Yves Saint Laurent will offer a "new vintage" capsule collection starting next month at Barney's. The clothes will be made from fabrics from the label's archives. It's all part of a strategy to increase consumer spending on luxury items that doesn't involve sales — brands think they can do this by making their offerings seem more special and personal. [WWD]
• Beyoncé's $11,000 shopping spree at Patricia Field's store included the purchase of a hand-made mask. Pat has no idea what she'll use it for, either. [The Cut]
• There are three good stories at the end of this link: for one, Oscar de la Renta is still digging. On learning that the First Lady, who has yet to wear anything designed by him, had worked a few pieces by European designers into her wardrobe for her trip to, you know, Europe, he said, "Our industry right now is having a very difficult time. I think it would be great if the First Lady dressed in American styles. There are a lot of talented people here too." Which would sound less like a gloss on sour grapes coming from a guy who wasn't saying just last week that Mrs. Obama looked dowdy in that sweater she wore to meet the Queen. Secondly, Lord & Taylor is picking up Liz Claiborne again after five years. Because Isaac Mizrahi is the designer now, and L & T recognizes that kaleidoplaid is the way of the future. Thirdly, Stila is maybe bankrupt/for sale. Their website is down, and carries a warning that orders placed in late March might be canceled. [WWD]
• A good-looking 30-year-old San Francisco businessman, who happens to be a practicing Sikh, was spotted last year by the designer Kenneth Cole. Now he's working for GQ, which just proves that...hotness knows no religion? [Telegraph]

• Being on vacation with Amy Winehouse must be relentlessly entertaining:

She was apparently told she couldn't sunbathe au naturale, so she whipped off her bikini top and streaked through the resort in St. Lucia, waving her arms in the air. She told you she was trouble! [Daily Mail]

• The family of Mercy James, the Malawian child Madonna would like to adopt, are on Madonna's side. Mercy's uncle says the guy who claims to be Mercy's biological dad "didn't care about his girlfriend, Mercy's mother, when she needed him most. He didn't even come to see his baby." [The Sun]
• Madonna was overheard telling people: I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind. It's not right. I love that baby girl. She's my little girl - she needs to be with me." A judge disagrees, your Madgesty! [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown was in court yesterday, and he pleaded not guilty to two felony counts. His next court date is a preliminary hearing on April 29. [Rolling Stone]
• Some are "surprised" that Chris Brown pleaded not guilty? Really? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Rihanna was not in court, but her lawyer was, and he said her feelings about the case are that she would be happy if "it were over quickly." [TMZ]
• The latest on Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, according to LL: "We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself." But, uh, she banned you from her party and changed the locks, right? [E!]
• Sam Ronson's family is hoping that Sam will not get back together with Lindsay. Ouch! [People]
• Courtney Love is about to sue a whole mess of people: She finally realized that whomever had been handling Kurt Cobain's estate lost millions of dollars. It's not her fault she didn't look into this sooner, she was high, okay? [Page Six]
• Cops in Costa Rica are investigating the security team hired by Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen since they, you know, open fired on photographers, which doesn't seem very legal. [NY Post]
• Gisele wore Galliano, by the by. [People]
• Howard K. Stern will not cut a deal with the D.A. in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case and is expected to plead not guilty. He'll be in court today. [TMZ]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Britney Spears might take her Circus tour to Australia. [E!]
• Of the items being moved out of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's London home, the mattress is not surprising; the dinosaur, the large horse and surfboard are. Gwynnie's moving to NYC; Chris is going on tour. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Chris Martin, Coldplay is denying that it copied Joe Satriani's music for "Viva La Vida." [Breitbart]
• Oh dear: Scarlett Johansson has reportedly been working out with Gwyneth's trainer, Tracy Anderson. She's already lost 14 pounds and now she's off carbs. Is she prepping for Iron Man 2 or just joining the brigade of stick thin stars? [The Sun]
• Did a reporter set up a fake charity and trick Heather Mills into dishing dirt on Paul McCartney? [ABC News]
• Zac Efron's mom stuffed hi stocking with condoms last Christmas and his dad gave him some speech about protection at some point so maybe the point is you won't see Zac as a young baby daddy any day soon. [E!]
• The woman who was saved from committing suicide by Demi Moore and "the Twitter community" says "I'm eternally grateful to her for helping me." [RadarOnline]
• Why aren't people donating to Prince Harry's African charity? Donations have dropped a whopping 84%. [Telegraph]
• Jennifer Garner will star in Butter, a flick that's a political satire set in the small-town world of competitive butter-sculpting. Yeah. Butter. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ru-roh: Pamela Anderson's boyfriend was in a kite-surfing accident in Hawaii. Luckily, he escaped serious injury and didn't need C.J. to run into the water with a red floaty thing. [Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue took her new man to meet her parents and they found him to be "charming and witty." Good sign. [Daily Express]
• Buddhist and friend of the Dalai Lama Richard Gere attended a "Mind and Life" conference in Dharamsala, India on Monday. [Hindustan Times]
• Dennis Rodman was thrown out of a West Hollywood hotel after "slapping and groping" female guests. He needs to learn how to ask nicely when he wants to borrow a dress. [TMZ]
• The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation received a gift from the estate of the late Luther Vandross; the amount of the gift was not disclosed. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Grammy-winning rapper can't get enough weed? She orders from a NYC delivery service non-stop, then tries to sweet-talk the courier into giving her free bags of ganja." [Gatecrasher]
• "He's certainly not the buffoon he looks like. This is the most amazing thing I found out about him. I was once staying at a hotel, and I was in the room directly under his. He is an amazing fuck — and you can quote me on this. The screams coming from the woman were some of the purest sounds of pleasure I'd ever heard." — Rupert Everett on Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. [Page Six via The Daily Beast]
• "Casey grew up in one of the richest families in New York, and she grew up without any responsibilities or any boundaries. And so, for her, it was very important to do something where there were laws and where your morals counted. I was very much into the idea of doing something I hadn't done before. This is a show about cops. Our show is very grounded in the sense of the crappy things that happen to you are funny. That's how you deal with them and get through life." — Amber Tamblyn, on her character in new show The Unusuals. [USA Today]
• "I don't know Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke wanted to do some kind of superficial Rolling Stone article. And he did everything he could to make his story the greatest story ever in Rolling Stone. And it was a fictitious (expletive) lie. O.K? He didn't even call me by my name. ... He called Norah Jones, Ray Charles, everybody else by name. Willie (Nelson), Kris (Kristofferson). Why didn't he call my name? Why didn't he say Toby Keith walked through and said this (expletive)? Right? You know why. You know why. You know as good as anybody why. He didn't want to (expletive) deal with the aftermath." — Toby Keith. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The pilot script showed up, and I stalked [producer Alan Ball] until he said yes. The morning I showed up for work after going blonde, everyone was very relieved." — Anna Paquin on playing Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood. [Vanity Fair]
• "We were on the set, and the two firefighters that work here, I overheard them talking about, 'Yeah, you know, if I'd known I could measure from the pubic bone… And they were talking about a cock-measuring contest.' And I go, 'That's going in the show.'" — Denis Leary on Rescue Me. [The Daily Beast]
• "I'm crying for two and a half hours straight. And then you leave the stage door and people are like, 'Can we take your picture?' And I'm thinking, 'I've never looked worse.' I need a lot of eye cream." — Lauren Ambrose, on her role in the play Exit The King. [WWD]
• "Combs have been on the scene ever since humans had hair on his head. which is quite sometime? The date perhaps goes beyond the time of the old stone age. Man being man and not a lion would
  not be content to let his mane run wild and free. So he had to find some ways to tame it. First on the list of combing operations must have been the use of fingers. So in a way the fingers are the first combs of history. Today, combs are universal and no corner of the globe is without it." — Your friend Kanye West. [Jossip]

• Gisele Bundchen married Tom Brady again, this time in Costa Rica. They first got hitched in the U.S. in February. These days you can't be a celebrity and not have two or three ceremonies. [Breitbart, Mirror]

• Oh! But! There was gunfire at Gisele's wedding: Bodyguards shot at paparazzi. No one was injured, but the back window on an SUV was shattered. Says one snapper: "I could have lost my life for the sale of some pictures that Gisele didn't want published. Are they insane?" [NY Post]
• Madonna reportedly "shrieked in horror" when she found out that a judge was denying her adoption of Mercy. [Pop Dirt]
• Madonna has left Malawi in her private jet and is headed for London. [Star Tribune]
• Madonna is said to be "in pieces." [Daily Mail]
• And now Madonna is back in the UK; Guy Ritchie met her at the airport. They didn't seem to speak to each other but he had a big hug for David. [Daily Mail]
• Rihanna is partying in Barbados — it's her grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. Her father says the singer is "back to herself." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, Chris Brown is due in court today where he will do some "intense" plea dealing. [NY Daily News]
• Over the weekend, news broke that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight and that Sam changed the locks at her house. Ouch! [TMZ]
• Lindsay was specifically asked not to attend a Charlotte Ronson party but showed up anyway. [Socialite Life]
• Did Lindsay go on a Twitter tirade? This report says she wrote: "Being cheated on does wonders to you. I'm doing this publicly because u&ur friends call People [magazine]. So you win, you broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you." So wait, Sam cheated? Also, not so long ago, you couldn't get LL to admit she was IN a gay relationship; now she announces the details to the whole world??? [This Is London]
• Farrah Fawcett, who has been battling cancer for almost three years, is in a hospital in L.A. [Reuters, RadarOnline]
• Meanwhile, her son, Redmond O'Neal, was busted for drugs yesterday. In the parking lot of a prison. Not a joke. Also, Ryan O'Neal says Farrah just went in for a procedure and "is not at death's door." [NY Post, EW]
• This report says the end is near for Farrah Fawcett. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This paper claims that doctors fear the worst for Farrah. [NY Post]
• Scandalous: Jennifer Aniston was seen smiling and laughing and generally having fun. [Gatecrasher]
• Dear Beyoncé, the bangs and the heels are understandable, but the suspenders? [Daily Mail]
• Paris Hilton says of Doug Reinhardt: "We're best friends. It's not like we just met. We've known each other over the past year. I was in a relationship before and we reconnected. I'm really in love and really happy. He's going to be my husband." Does that sound like a threat? [E!]
• There's a sneak peak of season five of The Hills up, and apparently the big question is whether Heidi and Lauren will reconcile. But the even bigger question is: Does anyone still care? [E!]
• Speaking of The Hills, Lauren Conrad's new guy, Kyle Howard, wants to marry her, so he took her mom and dad out for lunch — and picked up the tab. [Star]
• Ryan Gosling has a band, and the band has a video, and it's here. [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, Christ: After enduring all kinds of shit for those bikini pictures, now this headline from the Daily Fail: "Has Jennifer Love Hewitt Lost Too Much Weight?" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher are shooting a flick called Five Killers and it appears that they kiss. [Socialite Life]
• "How Poor Suri Cruise Has Become A Style Victim At Just Three Years Of Age." [Daily Mail]
• Behold: Victoria Beckham in enormous shoulder pads. [Daily Mail]
• Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have left the country to vacation in Thailand and you have not. [Just Jared]
• It's not that Serena Williams can't find a pair of bikini bottoms that fit, it's that her derriere is awesome and will not be held down! [Daily Mail]
• Anna Kournikova took part in a triathlon in Miami on Sunday. [Daily Mail]
• Ooh, Seal will sing the National Anthem at the Red Sox/Tampa Bay Rays game today! [The Star]
• You may find this hard to believe, but Gary Coleman regrets doing a movie titled Midgets vs. Mascots. He has a YouTube rant explaining his mortgage made him do it. [Page Six]
• Possible new couple: 50 Cent and Ciara. [Page Six]
• Bai Ling wants you to know that Bai Ling never had sex with Mickey Rourke. [Page Six]
• A square-faced Jack Black slays demons with his guitar in a new video game called Brutal Legend. Check out his heart-shaped soul patch! [Wired]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are not only back on, but looking for a "love nest" in Santa Monica. Megan wants ocean views because "she loves the beach and spotting dolphins." [Star Magazine]
• The series finale of ER did okay, ratings-wise, but not as well as Cheers or Friends. [AdAge]
• Miley Cyrus' wardrobe in the Hannah Montana movie is "clean cut, wholesome and decidedly demure." Are times changing?!?! [LA Times]
• Between Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift and Julianne Hough, women ruled at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Do you have to be blonde and toothy, or is it just a coincidence? [Yahoo News ia AP]
• Christina Ricci will star in a "porn-tinged comedy" co-written by Adam Sandler. She'll play "an innocent girlfriend." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jennifer Hudson's fans worry about her and can't stop talking about how they hope she doesn't cry while she is singing. [Washington Post]
• Jennifer Hudson says, "I'm fine, I'm happy." [USA Today]
• By now you must have heard: Demi Moore saved a suicidal woman's life via Twitter? [The Star]
• Brandon Michael Vayda, who plays Mike on 90210, pulled some guy out of a taxi and "beat the living crap out of him" outside of a nightclub. [TMZ]
• Alex DeSilva, a choreographer from So You Think You Can Dance, was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of sexual assault. All of his victims were his students at the time. [E!]
• Fox's Roger Friedman wrote about the leaked flick Wolverine (which the FBI is investigating) in his column, saying, "It took really less than seconds to start playing it all right onto my computer." Now he's been fired. Whoops! [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr sang together for the first time in years at a benefit to introduce children to transcendental meditation. And yes, David Lynch runs the foundation in question. [Breitbart]
• Jeff Beck, Metallica, Run-DMC, Bobby Womack and Little Anthony and the Imperials were inducted into the hall of fame over the weekend. [NY Times]
• Fast & Furious sped away with a $72.5 million box office, which is huge. Huge. [Breitbart]
• Thousands lined the streets of London and Essex at the funeral of Jade Goody, which this paper calls "Princess Diana-style." [Daily Mail]'
• Jade Goody's family says they don't want her grave to be a shrine, "trampled by strangers." [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which C-list Hollywood stud was so drunk and desperate that he showed up at the home of an L.A. gossip reporter and demanded a booty call? Guess what, folks? She accepted!" [Gatecrasher]
• "There's a time for celebration and I partake, sure. But you know, it's important not to let that become too big of a distraction. The more you have access to, the harder it is to remain focused. You know what, I do not want to fall victim to that, it's too easy and too often done. It's out of style anyway, I think too many people have done it before me, I'm not going to. It's uncool, yeah. I think the rebellious thing to do would to actually be successful." — Zac Efron on drinking and the Hollywood party scene. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I'm excited to not have everything scheduled in advance. I can just call up a friend and grab lunch. I can wear white when I want to — I could never do that on camera. I can go backless!" — Lauren Conrad, on her plans for her life after The Hills. [LA Times]
• "It's kind of like a self-aware observational comedy of the simplest thing in the world, which isn't so simple." — Bob Saget on his new show, Surviving Suburbia. [NY Daily News]
• "People will always say that I'm over-exposed and that's what I want, all this attention. That's not it. What I love is the art of it all." — Miley Cyrus. [NY Daily News]
• "Somebody said to me 'Well, you know what? You just got such a big mouth and you just know how to talk to people. Did you ever think about runnin' for president?' I said 'I think we've had enough boobs in the White House.'" — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]
• "Some of my best compliments are on a $15 Ross dress. Ross gets you a weird look, but I've rocked two or three good pieces from there over the years." — Rosario Dawson. [New York Mag]
• "Well, I certainly got hit on a lot. And a lotta men thought I was as silly as I looked, I guess. You know, I look like a woman but I think like a man. And in this world of business, that has helped me a lot. Because by the time they think that I don't know what's goin' on, I then got the money, and gone." — Dolly Parton. [CBS News]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not." — Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude — I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!" — Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial." — Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun." — Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed." — Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!" — Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so." — Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up." — Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that." — from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it." — Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]