• Chris Brown will not be singing on Good Morning America next week as scheduled. He will, however, "come clean" in a primetime interview about what happened the night he assaulted former girlfriend Rhianna. [NY Post]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have not, repeat NOT split up. Says a rep for Witherspoon. A person who, a year or so ago, probably would not have confirmed the two were together. [Us Magazine]
• Meanwhile, "in the wake of infidelity rumors," Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are about to spend time apart: She will be working on a musical in the US and then filming a movie in Germany. Will the marriage survive?!?!? [UPI]
• Britney Spears allegedly proposed to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, only to have him reject the offer. Allegedly. This made her "furious," so she (allegedly) "banished" Jason from Australia, where she is on tour. [MTV.com.au]
• Perez Hilton has written a second book, in which he claims that Drew Barrymore is "always fucked up" and is "not the sober kitten that the main public may think she is." In addition, he claims that "someone" tips off the photogs when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want to show the world pictures of themselves together. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite an apparent suicide note via Twitter, Michael Lohan is not dead, did not try to kill himself and the Twitter account saying so is not even his. [Gawker]
• Meryl Streep is on the cover of Vanity Fair and says: "It's incredible-I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave." Director Mike Nichols claims: "She broke the glass ceiling of an older woman being a big star-it has never, never happened before." [Vanity Fair]
• Rachel Uchitel, who is being called Tiger Woods' alleged mistress (as we learned in Midweek Madness, Star magazine alleges Uchitel has been sexting Tiger) is working with famed lawyer Gloria Allred now and the two are "deciding" what the next step will be. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel says: "I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]. Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine but they're not." [E!]
• Tiger Woods canceled a meeting with the Florida Highway Patrol. [TMZ]
• The FHP is trying to obtain a search warrant to seize medical records from the hospital which treated Tiger Woods. The idea is to find out if his injuries were from car accident or domestic violence; some reports claim that his wife followed him out of the house and struck his moving car with a gold club, causing him to hit a fire hydrant and tree. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt's "Make It Right" homes in New Orleans are getting mixed reviews. Some people feel that the architecture is not grounded in the history of New Orleans and that the houses can be "alien, sometimes even insulting," [PopEater]
• Michael Jackson's enormous debt may be paid off, thanks to the music royalties and box-office bonanza from This Is It. [Daily Express]
• Mary Murphy wants Tom Cruise to be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance, and Katie Holmes says: "He would be great. He really would." It'll happen, if Xenu wills it so! [E!]
• Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz sped away from a stampede via motorcycle in Cadiz, Spain yesterday — it was a scene was for their flick Knight & Day, but the stampede was real. [NY Post]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI Saturday night. Bail was set at $15,000; Bach was released on her own recognizance and attended an AA meeting yesterday. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, David Hasselhoff was under an involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the weekend after drinking a "large amount of alcohol." [Radar Online]
• Except: David Hasselhoff's lawyer denies that David was on a psych hold: "David's at home. He's fine. I'm not sure where that information is coming from." [E!]
• Rumor has it Kate Moss is sick of the "media glare" in the UK and may move to New York or Paris, where, as you may know, there are absolutely no paparazzi or tabloids. [Daily Mail]
• After a record-breaking opening weekend, New Moon's ticket sales dropped nearly 70% from Friday to Sunday. Somehow, The Blind Side is doing really well. [Us Magazine]
• Rihanna says: "I haven't been in touch with my dad for a year and a half... by his choice. He came on tour and acted a mess. We sent him home and after that he didn't answer my calls." Her dad says: "I leave messages for her but I never hear back. I want nothing more in this world than to see my daughter again and to be part of her life." And: "I'm sorry and I love you." A page from the MIchael Lohan book of child/parent communication! [Mirror]
• Taylor Momsen does that sullen, insomniac teen thing so well in the new Japanese edition of NyLon. [ONTD]
• Congrats to Tom Arnold, who was married for the fourth time in Hawaii on Saturday. The lady's name is Ashley Groussman and the wedding had an Asian theme; the couple chanted a Buddhist prayer after exchanging rings. [Us Magazine]
• You know, if we're not supposed to be admiring the physique of 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, then stop shooting slo-mo video of his biceps. Jeez. [Rolling Stone]
• Taylor Lautner says that once Jamie Foxx approached him and said, "Hey, my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan. Is there any way I can get a picture with you? I'm Jamie Foxx." To which Taylor replied: "Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Jon Gosselin tweeted that he was going to his grandma's for Thanksgiving, but Hailey Glassman tweeted: "LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/ ‘friends'-lol-ur redic." [Gatecrasher]
• When Tila Tequila performs, she demands that there be 20 cans of Red Bull on hand "at all times." Healthy! [Page Six]
• When Simon Cowell's X Factor comes to the US, the contestants will be vying for a chance to sing in Las Vegas. [NY Post]
• According to a police report, in early November, Anthony Michael Hall "bit his girlfriend's forehead" and "pushed, shoved and spit at" her during a fight in her apartment. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Hugh Laurie has a black eye, obtained while boxing. [Daily Express]
• Seriously, I can't believe that thieves transferred more than £200,000 from Ricky Gervais's bank account — using a fake passport with a picture of Gervais playing David Brent cut from a DVD of The Office. Insane. [Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's album is at the top of the UK charts. [NY Post]
• "The brother of Susan Boyle said U.S. actress Kathy Bates should portray his sister in a film about the amateur Scottish singer's life." [UPI]
• Michael Kenneth Williams, aka Omar from The Wire, plays a thief in The Road. He says he was Method acting for the role: "I followed Viggo [Mortensen]'s cues. We didn't wash, we didn't cut our hair. No grooming. I smelled. I reeked." And! He'll be in a new HBO crime drama produced by Martin Scorsese. He says: "I'm not afraid of typecasting; I'm afraid of not eating." [NY Mag]
• Welcome to the digital age, Bill Cosby! Congrats on your new website, Facebook account, Twitter account and Flickr account. [NY Times]
• "Jay Leno Losing His Audience To DVR Machines." [AP]
• "I wanted to be on the edge of personal space that is shy of violating a person's privacy but close enough to suggest intimacy. I was trusting my intuition from my past [talk show] experience when I'd ask myself, why is this desk in between me and the person I'm talking to?" — William Shatner has a special face-to-face couch on his Raw Nerve show on Bio. [NY Post]
• "I don't want to be any kind of a happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it embarrassing. You have to get involved with other people's relatives and great aunt Bessies and all of that — and I'd rather not. I'm 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don't mind at all." — Morrissey. At the link, check out Moz's Desert Island Discs: New York Dolls, Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges. [Guardian]
• "I've become a bit of a gym person. I feel apologetic about it because it looks a little uncool, but I like to have an appointment every day. Plus it's the only time I watch TV." — Claire Danes. [Times of London]
• "Whilst we press politicians to pass global laws to reduce carbon emissions, we should not forget our individual capacity to act in ways that will help to fight climate change - such as limiting the eating of meat. Having one designated meat-free day a week is a meaningful change that everyone can make." — Paul McCartney. [BBC News]
• "From the '93 case — they accused him of just the most horrible things. This kid's father has committed suicide because he just couldn't take it, and now the kid has come forth and said, Michael never touched him." — Jermaine Jackson, on Evan Chandler, who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing his son Jordy. [OMG via Access Hollywood]
• "I read once that Alexander the Great would've not been great, that great, if he would've not traveled with the historians who documented his multiple battles and his victories. So documenting your work is important, making sure that the work, if it's well done, if you put many hours and effort and energy into that, that it does its job, that it's presented the right way. And that's when you make sure that you're surrounded by intelligent people who can also contribute to your career in great ways… You can't win a battle if you don't have the right army behind you." — Shakira. [LA Times]
• "I definitely believe in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets. There's just so much space out there to not believe in that. For me, the idea with this movie is to be open to change. You should be accepting of change because, only through change, can you grow and learn more about yourself, as a human or alien." — Jessica Biel, who voices an alien in Planet 51. [Independent]
• "I like me better naked. I don't mean that in a vain way… When you put clothes on, you immediately put a character on. Clothes are adjectives, they are indicators. When you don't have any clothes on, it's just you, raw, and you can't hide." — Padma Lakshmi. [Page Six]
• "The word gay has become used as a derogatory term and this is something which education can help to resolve. Either that or we choose another word to describe ourselves. I rather like another G word – glorious." — Ian McKellen. [Daily Express]
• "The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, 'You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.' And I was like, 'What the fuck … are you talking about?' But from that point on, I thought, Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied." — Donald Glover, who quit 30 Rock before being cast on Community. [NY Mag]
• "Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this! I've always been borderline raunchy and a little sexy. But sexy at 19 and sexy at 21 is two different things. I'm just having fun. When naked pictures I'd sent to a boyfriend were leaked this year I was so nervous and embarrassed that my mom was going to see them. But she reacted in the most surprising way. She just sent me a text saying, 'You're an adult now.' Basically saying, 'Welcome to the real world.' She says I'm a woman now so I have to handle things like an adult." — Rihanna. [The Sun]
• "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing." — Meryl Streep. [Page Six]

• Mayumi Heene has admitted that the entire "Balloon Boy" story was a hoax. According to a recently released search warrant affidavit, "the motive for the fabricated story was to make the Heene family more marketable for future media interest." [Reuters]

• Heene also admitted that she and her husband, Richard "knew all along" that their youngest son, Falcon was hiding, and not in the balloon as they had led authorities to believe. All three children, she says, were instructed to lie. [NYDN]
• You can read the entire affidavit here.[The Coloradoan]
• A computer taken from one of the "Burglar Bunch" members who allegedly broke into Lindsay Lohan's apartment is filled with Google image searches for "Lindsay Lohan Blue Rolex" and "Lindsay Lohan Rolex." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Paris Hilton visited the LAPD last night and retrieved most of her stolen property; Hilton had lost nearly $2 million in valuables to the ring of thieves targeting starlets' homes. [People]
• Lisa Rinna's former landlord says she owes "$635,083.73 in back rent and damages," on her former retail location, Belle Gray. Rinna, meanwhile, took to her Twitter page to announce that she had "a very different story. Let the games begin!" [E!]
• "It'd be nice to have a six-year-old and say, 'I have this film I made, you might quite like it'. Yeah, definitely that's on my mind."- Wes Anderson on his new film, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. [Guardian]
• Jon Gosselin still hasn't returned the money he withdrew from his joint account with Kate Gosselin. [People]
• "I've had many, many unrequited crushes. I knew this one guy's entire schedule my senior year of high school and would conveniently be outside his classrooms whenever class let out. But I was a goth kid and he was a soccer player, so he wasn't having it. He was just horrified by me."- Christina Hendricks [Advocate]
• Food Network star Sandra Lee says that Angelina Jolie used her "No-Bake Birthday Cake" recipe in August in order to create a birthday cake for her son, Maddox. "She's a very busy, overextended mother," says Lee, "I'm very proud not just that she made my cake but that someone of her stature isn't delegating these [tasks], like her children's birthday, to other people. I'm glad she loves the show and that the kids apparently also watch it too." Please let them get together for an episode! Angelina Jolie making dinners out of stuffing, salad dressing mix, and half a can of Miracle Whip would be the greatest hour of programming ever, no? [People]
• "I look at what happened to Michael Jackson and it's a case of 'there but for the grace of God go I.' Those painkillers! F***!'"-Ozzy Osbourne [DailyMail]
• Justin Timberlake has filed a restraining order against a woman named Karen McNeil, who already served a year in prison for violating several court orders issued to keep her away from Axl Rose [TMZ]
• Boy George says his time in prison was good for him: "I'm the happiest I've ever been." [TheSun]
• When Winona Ryder agreed to a low-budget film The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, she was seemingly unprepared for just how low-budget it would be: "Little did I know I would be in Danbury, Connecticut, without a rental car, living off a highway. I had to rely on Keanu, who had the car he drives in the film, to get me to Starbucks - that's how low-budget it was." [DailyExpress]
• Jennifer Lopez plans to debut her alter-ego character, "Lola" tonight. Hooray? [PageSix]
• Charlize Theron raised $140,000 at a recent charity auction by auctioning off a kiss to a female fan. [DailyExpress]
• "I still don't feel that John's fans are accepting me. I don't know who's really John's fans, and who's really John and Yoko fans. The Beatles fans, some of them really denounced John in a way. So I don't know who's who. So whenever I create something I never think about who's gonna listen to it. But then, I'm getting some beautiful letters. So they like the CD or something. It's really great, but I'm not gonna ask, ‘Are you a Beatles fan?'"-Yoko Ono [TimesOnline]
• "I knew going into Miss USA I was asked to be there because I am controversial and because I am qualified. I look at women in the spotlight every day. I know how a girl can successfully navigate that world."- Perez Hilton [LATimes]
• LaToya Jackson says that Michael's children are still grieving the loss of their father, and though all three are in therapy, Paris seems to be handling things a bit better than her brothers, Prince and Blanket: "Prince just doesn't want to speak about it. He won't even watch the DVDs – he just walks right past the TV. It's too soon, too touching. I do worry about him very much. And Blanket is just a very sad, shy little boy. He cries – he really does cry. It's so painful for him. No one can bring his daddy back and it hurts so much." [Mirror]
• Paul Heyman of ECW says that Rihanna's "Russian Roulette" cover art is a complete rip off of the wrestling organization's cover art for the compilation "ECW: Extreme Music." TheSun]
• Roseanne took to her blog to speak out against her ex-husband Tom Arnold for cracking jokes about the couple's relationship as it relates to the recent David Letterman scandal, as Tom keeps cracking jokes that he slept with his boss, which, according to Roseanne, is not the case: "I never had sex with an employee! Tom was first my boyfriend and then repeatedly asked me to create a job for him on my show, which I did," she writes, later concluding with, "Stop accusing me of breaking laws that I never would break. Having sex with your underlings is not allowed, unless you legally marry them. Otherwise it is creating a hostile work environment, where those who do not have sex with the boss do not get promoted. this is the law! stop setting me up for lawsuits with your careless lies!!! shut the fuck up about me you idiot!" [RoseanneWorld]

Whitney Houston was an apple-cheeked, church-going baby diva before hooking up with Bobby B, which turned her into a profusely-sweating, cocaine-snorting, reality television brawl having mess. Other famous examples of Bobby Browns include Amy Winehouse's drug-addled fool of a husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, Roseanne's moron of an ex, Tom Arnold, and of course, Kevin Federline. Can you think of other Bobby B.'s littering the pages of history?

Is Paris Hilton Pulling A Yoko? [A Socialite's Life]

The Good:
Um, according to the picture caption, this is Broadway diva/Private Practice star Audra McDonald. (We think it's actually Sanaa Lathan. But, you know, all black women look the same!) Anyway, Sanaa looks hot in her minidress, boots, and practical but still chic mid-length puffy coat.
Against my better judgment, I love AnnaSophia Robb's (faux, I hope!) fur floppy hat, puffy coat, and layers of sweaters. She looks angelic and cozy.
Though Virginia Madsen's scarf sorta looks like a towel, snaps to her for going with such fresh and kicky colors. Also, someone has clearly been watching What Not To Wear and learning about how layering can keep you from looking like you're cutting yourself in equal parts across the middle!


The Bad:
There is so much good in Angelica Huston's outfit. The Christmas color palette is not one of those things.
Janice Combs: Too much fringe, not enough warmth!
There's a reason Tom Arnold is no longer a star. We just never knew that his sartorial choices might be it.
Mischa Barton's crime? Looking way too much like Lohan.


The Ugly:
Beard + Uncle Jesse = UGH

[Photos via INF.]