When wearing a scene-stealing frock, go minimal with stank, as it can overpower even the most dazzling attire. Nothing can ruin an evening out faster than swamp ass! And of course you'd rather be remembered as the elegant well-dressed woman than the smelly woman in the skidmarked dress! #cottonellebeautytips
Well of course Step 1 is to stay hydrated. The more you drink, the more you pee, the more t.p. you need. And the circle of life continues. #cottonellebeautytips
I'm disappointed that the ad didn't suggest stuffing your bra with Cottonelle. It's truly the poshest cleavage enhancer on a roll. #cottonellebeautytips
@hortense: This sparkly ass wouldn't lie to me... of course, that the bear's ass is sparkling leads me to believe that it's a vampire bear and that, my good lady, means we are SCA-REWED. #cottonellebeautytips
@Treeless: Only if it's one-ply though...they fluffier stuff doesn't blot as well. Actually the papery toilet-seat cover things they have in public restrooms make the best blotting paper. You can buy your own and tear them into sheets, and you'll save a shitload (no pun intended) of cash--those blotting papers are expensive.
Note: These are the type of beauty lessons my (quite thrifty and oily) mother taught me. :) #cottonellebeautytips
@hortense: Number 38 was a lackluster entry not worthy of the Back Door name. Sadly, it did not live up the promise that was BDB 37. #cottonellebeautytips
I really thought this was going to have tips on using tp with like, makeup or something. Instead it just points out that you can't feel 100% with a stray wad of cheap loo paper stuck in your butt.
@notadoll: I was just going to write this. Same for Q-Tips – the name brand kind are too fluffy to be useful when it comes to applying make-up. #cottonellebeautytips
Feeling down in the dumps because your TP left clumps? Get rid of your grumps because Cottenelle Aloe and E Toilet Paper trumps the other leading brands in cleaning your humps! Your humps your humps. Your lovely lady lumps. Check it out! #cottonellebeautytips
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And I can say, I remember when. #cottonellebeautytips
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@hortense: This sparkly ass wouldn't lie to me... of course, that the bear's ass is sparkling leads me to believe that it's a vampire bear and that, my good lady, means we are SCA-REWED. #cottonellebeautytips
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What? I'm an oily lass. #cottonellebeautytips
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Note: These are the type of beauty lessons my (quite thrifty and oily) mother taught me. :) #cottonellebeautytips
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Duly noted, Cottonelle people! #cottonellebeautytips
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Marketing miss! #cottonellebeautytips
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