1.) Toddlers & Tiaras Is Back!

You know, the show that puts daughter-less mothers—who refuse to accept reality—on reality TV.

2.) Twinemies
The premiere episode of the second season featured twins AshLynn and BreAnne, who are forced to compete against each other. The mom so obviously likes BreAnne better. It's totally Jacob Have I Loved. Usually BreAnne wins the crowns, but at this pageant, she threw a temper tantrum and her father wouldn't let her compete for the rest of the day, so AshLynn ended up winning. BreAnne won't accept this. One day, a therapist will get an earful from one or both of them.

3.) Hand Puppets
This little girl is so Anna Nicole. Not because she's from Texas.

And not because she's cranky and flashy.

And not because she doesn't always make sense.

And not because her good behavior at photo shoots is rewarded with trips to McDonalds. No, she mostly reminds me of Anna Nicole because she has a face full of makeup and acts like a four year old. Also, her two best friends are her mother's hands, which she believes to be people, and that's something I can see Anna Nicole subscribing to.

4.) The Insider So Totally Doesn't Get "Ethics"



But at least they're curious.

5.) World's Strongest Toddler: That Don't Impress Ah Me Much



TLC did a whole special on this kid and the best evidence of his "title" was him lifting his mom's wuss weights over his head. Big whoop. Wake me up when he can French braid his own hair.

6.) Teens, Need A Summer Job?
Teenagers 16 and up are allowed to strip in Rhode Island (as long as they're home before midnight).

7.) Joe Jackson: "I started Leonard's career in music promotion."
Leonard:

8.) This Isn't An SNL Skit

9.) Crazy Old German Lady Beats Up Librarian, Gets Away With It
This is from some kind of Cops format show. I could barely edit it down because it's too awesome, beginning to end. While I love the German lady's outbursts, I'm also into how upset the one librarian gets when it's implied that she couldn't find the U.N Charter. ("I didn't even get the chance to look!")

10.) That's So Lindsay

A new study from Lehigh University, which shows that mothers argue with their toddlers an average of 20-25 times per hour, proves the stinkerness of toddlers beyond a shadow of a doubt. But toddler moms should not despair, according to CBS News. "Those conflicts were more likely to get resolved without major drama if the kids had a good relationship with their mother and weren't especially temperamental, active, or impulsive, according to surveys completed by the moms," it reports. "Such conflicts are normal and frequent during the toddler and early preschool years," Laible's team writes.

But what if your child remains difficult beyond the terrible twos? Today's Washington Post summarizes two books about dealing with tantrum prone offspring, Effective Parenting for the Hard-to-Manage Child by D.C. area psychologists Georgia DeGangi and Anne Kendall, and The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child With No Pills, No Therapy and No Contest of Wills, by Yale professor Alan Kazdin (with Carlo Rotella). Both books essentially suggest using behavioral modification techniques on children to calm them down. (P.S., behavioral modification is what animal trainers use on their charges, and also what "Shamu" writer Amy Sutherland advocates use of on husbands.)

Kazdin recommends "ABCs of behaviorism: antecedent, behavior and consequence," to parents, and here's the example he gives of the ABC's:

At home during a calm period, tell the child you're going to play a game. "You say, 'I'm going to pretend to say no and you're going to have a tantrum, but you're not going to hit or throw things. If you can do that, we're going to walk over to the refrigerator and put a star up on your chart,' " which can be turned in for a reward, such as a favorite food or TV time. You remind the child it's pretend and then do it. If a child complies, you say, 'I can't believe it, you just stood there when I said no and didn't throw things.' Then you say, 'I bet you can't do it again.' And when the child does, you praise and give another star. If the child fails, you say calmly, 'Okay, no star this time because you threw things. We'll try again later.' "

Study: Moms, Tots Argue 20 Times An Hour [CBS News]
Diary Of Judd Apatow [Slate]
Take My Kid, Please! [Washington Post]

• The women at Feministing wonder if Andy Samberg was being an "ironic hipster douche" when he wore a "National Organization For Women—Berkeley" tee to a Spike TV awards-show. Our verdict: Samberg may be a hipster but he's probably not being ironic; he grew up in Berkeley. [Feministing]
  
• The British women who think we're bad feminists pass along this report: Toddlers begin to understand and react to gender stereotypes from as young as 2 years of age. [TheFWord]
  
• Just a few days after the report about new guidelines for identifying symptoms of ovarian cancer comes word that doctors have proven that a "common breast cancer drug can significantly cut relapse rates." [Guardian]
  
• Two women in the NYTimes obit section today: R&B singer Nellie Lutcher, 94, and Ruth Bell Graham, 87, wife of Billy. [NYTimes]

• Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon asks, "What is wrong with women?" And asks in a good way, that is. [Salon]
  
• Glaxo SmithKline says its new weight-loss drug Xenical causes anal leakage. [CNN]
  
• If anal leakage isn't your cup of tea, you may want to try dieting through "terror". [ComedyCentral]
  
• More on bodily secretions: Overworked moms can now remove snot from their children's noses with a special straw. Drink up! [BoingBoing]
  
• Ways to tame toddlers. That do not involve Valium. [CNN]
  
• Males of the species: Now, sadly, even more irrelevant. [CNN]