Jezebel: toccara jones

ANTM: Celia Burns The Burned Girl

Tracie — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 11:00:00 EDT

On last night's episode, Thalia (the one with the scars, and who sucks, in general) wanted to quit for like the 50th time. When she didn't get booted, Celia ratted her out to Tyra.

OK, first of all, when Tocara stopped by for her slumber party with the girls, she totally hit the nail on the head when she said, "When I was on Top Model, we really did have so many different personalities. In here, I can't really pinpoint people who really, like, standout."

Seriously, these girls are boring. I'm not sure if they're as boring "as homemade soap" as Miss J put it, because I don't exactly find store-bought soap all that exciting, but boring nonetheless.

Also, I cannot believe that Thalia is not only still in this thing, but getting called first! I totally understood Celia's frustration. At the same time, she should've stayed out of it until it involved her own elimination or something. Also, how much of an asshole is Tyra when she put Celia in her place by saying, "Take your place, Celia."

As for the posing challenge with all the drag queens, do you think Celia received the warmest reception because she kinda looked like one of them? That's not to say that she looked like a man. She just looked the part.

Also, Celia loved that she won that challenge so much that she continued to wear the wig and the dress for the rest of the episode.

What I learned from this experience is how to tell the difference between when a drag queen loves you or not. Apparently, body language indicative of "no, no, no" means "yes, yes, yes."

And body language indicative of heart burn means "I hate you."

Toccara Jones: One Small Strap For Two Tig Ol' Bitties

Tracie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:50:00 EDT

[BET Awards, June 25. Image via Getty.

Tyra: The First Annual Fiercee Awards

Tracie — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Yesterday, Tyra held the first annual Fiercee Awards, in which TyTy gave awards out to girls from past cycles of Top Model. The "awards" were actually more like backhanded compliments (Ugliest Cry, Biggest Makeover Meltdown, Worst Fall). Not all the girls turned up for it. Actually, it was kinda like the People's Choice Awards, where only presenters and winners showed up. (Except for Jade and Jael. They were nominated for several things, and it was a shutout.) Here are some highlights: Saleisha said she "never ever" got used to that horrible mushroom cap hairdo, Jade was salty, Jada cared way too much, Natasha is still awesome, Joanie maybe got fake tits, Joanie's teeth cost ANTM $30k, Jaslene seems to be struggling with literacy, and the clip of Shandi's BF screaming,"You had SEX!?" still makes us LOL. Clip above, and a list of the awards, nominees, and winners, as well as screen shots of all the girls who showed up, after the jump.

Biggest Makeover Meltdown
Nominees: Jade, Jada, Bianca
Winner: Jade

Craziest Phone Call
Nominees: Shandi, Natasha
Winner: Natasha

Worst Wipeout
Nominees: Rebbecca, Norelle, Jael
Winner: Norelle

Most Dramatic Exit
Nominees: Ebony (Cycle 9), Jade, Kimberly
Winner: Kimberly

Ugliest Cry
Nominees: Joanie, Shandi, Jael
Winner: Joanie

Honorary Awards:
Lifetime Achievement Award
Toccara

Most Dramatic Change
Shandi

And now for the fun part: The pictures!

April & Heather

Bianca

Camille & Diana

Ebony

Jada

Jade

Jael

Jaslene & Nicole

Joanie & Tits

Keenyah & Jenah

Kimberly

Natasha

Norelle

Shandi

Toccara

Saleisha & CariDee

Celebrity Fit Club: Toccara Is Totally Not Fat

Tracie — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Granted, Toccara Jones did voluntarily go on a weight loss/fitness show, so it was a little ridiculous that she didn't want to follow the diet that Dr. Ian assigned to her on Celebrity Fit Club, but we kinda get where she was coming from when she freaked out on last night's episode. She is seriously gorgeous, and it must have been really tough to hear that she needed to lose weight, especially when she is obviously so happy and confident with herself the way that she is. The best thing ever? When Dr. Ian told her to have some class and she came back with, "Kiss my ass!" and "No, fuck that!" Clip above.

You Wanna Be On Top

Slut Machine — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 12:45:00 EST

Tocacara Jones, the plus-sized contestant from ANTM Cycle 3, is on the cover of "urban" lad mag King looking hotter than ever, with the cover line reading "Eating Out With Toccara." This is actually the second cover of King for Jones, who has been working as a BET correspondent, and holds the esteemed title as being the only ANTM contestant that my (Tracie's) ex-boyfriend ever beat off to. [Concrete Loop]