It's like Molly Sims is a secret agent and they haven't really figured out how to get spy devices and hidden cameras small enough, so she has to wear this "necklace" on her missions.


Contestant Galina Sobolev is respecting an etiquette rule that's inscrutable to the rest of the world.


If this sneer - and sequined Snuggie - are typical of contestant Vanessa Gonzales, we're in for...well, sneering. And sequins.


Meanwhile, contestant Merle Ginsberg is a shoo-in for the "Anna Wintour Gratuitous Fur" award.


First: this show is about launching fashion lines, right? Okay, I'm starting to get excited. Because, let's face facts: contestant Kathy Rose is wearing what appears to be a velveteen body suit, a Glinda skirt, and...an enormous whale necklace. Excellent.


Tinsley Mortimer: the deconstructed bandage.


See, the fact that everyone is doing a sneery side-eye like contestant Susan Brunet makes it impossible to tell who's the villain! Does all this winter white mean "good" or "White Witch" evil?


Is contestant Louanna Rawls deliberately and bravely working a difficult length, or is it just...a difficult length?


And then we have...contestant Patrick McDonald. Yeah, I'll be watching the premiere.

[Images via Getty]

• Michelle Obama wore a sterling-silver sequined dress by Indian-born designer Naeem Khan to a state dinner in honor of India's prime minister. [USAToday]
• Desiree Rogers wore Comme des Garçons. Which makes this the most fashion-forward administration, ever. [Mrs. O]

• "I feel so happy to be a part of this historical event between the two countries where my heart lies," says Khan. [People]
• And Mrs. Obama has apparently ordered thigh-high leather boots from Robert Clergerie. [Telegraph]
• Daul Kim's recent video spots for the Chanel "Cocoon" bag line are still on the Chanel website. [Racked]
• Emma Watson went to a hockey game n New York with a Spanish rock star and YSL designer Stefano Pilati. This is, apparently, big news. [Elle UK]
• The mother of Catherine McNeil, the model who appeared in public in Sydney with cuts on her arms, says that her understanding is that McNeil fell down some stairs. (Her agency said the cuts were the result of a skateboarding injury.) Her mother also said that the loneliness and distance from her family of modeling often left her feeling "down." "She hasn't had it easy. She hasn't had much of a life. I never forced her into modeling, it was her decision, it was her choice," said McNeil's grandmother, who raised her. "But it's not as glamorous as it appears. There's a lot of pressure to maintain your looks and sometimes it gets her down." [News.com.au]
• Mounir Moufarrige says Lindsay Lohan isn't going anywhere: "Yes [she's staying on], she has a job to do." Her first collection as "artistic advisor" for Ungaro led to the label being dropped by major U.S. retailers like Neiman Marcus. (Moufarrige says the clothes are "selling well.") Even Emanuel Ungaro himself — who has not been involved in the running of his namesake company since 2001 — joined in the chorus of criticism, calling Lohan's work "a disaster." "Mr Ungaro has his views, he can keep them," said Moufarrige, tartly. [Reuters]
• Victoria Beckham is re-launching her denim collection. No longer will it be sold under the name dVb: she's opted for the more prosaic "Victoria Beckham Denim." Prices will start at £140. [Elle UK]
• Of course D&G publicist Ali Wise would be getting filmed for Tinsley Mortimer's reality television show. [NYDN]
• Adidas would like to move its production of NBA jerseys to Thailand, from a factory in upstate New York. Not if Chuck Schumer has anything to do with it! [AP]
• Meanwhile, Stefano Lattanzi's Manhattan store continues to sell $18,000 men's crocodile skin boots. Women's cost $25,000. Arnold Schwarzenneger is allegedly a fan. [NYDN]
• Refinery29's list of ten fashion catchphrases — from "smize" to André Leon Talley's "I look authori-taaay!" — is dead-on, perfect, the end. [Refinery29]
• Target has announced its first ever collaboration with a millinery designer. Next April, a line of hats by Eugenia Kim — who previously did a lower-priced line for Urban Outfitters — will go on sale at the retailer. A shoe collection by Cynthia Vincent will also hit the chain on the same date. [Stylelist]
• Don't hold your breath for such a collab with Michael Kors. "We don't need to," says the orange one. [Independent]
• Jimmy Choo's collection for H&M cost up to 45% more in Ireland than it did in England. H&M says the difference reflects "taxes and transportation costs" as well as currency fluctuations. [IrishTimes]
• Christian Restoin, longtime partner of Carine Restoin-Roitfeld, is teaming up with Current/Elliot's Serge Azria to relaunch Equipment shirts. [Elle UK]
• Irina Shabayeva, of Project Runway near-fame, designed a wedding dress for Kelly Ripa. Since Ripa eloped with her husband, she wore it on national television instead of to her wedding. [People]
• Fashion blogger Lindsay Ibarra, on fashion bloggers: "What has been a pertinent trend throughout the most popular fashion blogs is the sort of self-indulgent act of getting dressed up, striking an adorable pose and writing a few witty words about what you're wearing and what you did that day. While this is all well and good for the purposes of creative journaling, what is happening more and more is that these faces are starting to be considered the new voices in fashion. Sea of Shoes blogger Jane Aldridge recently designed a line of shoes for Urban Outfitters, Julia Frakes and Rumi Neely (of Bunny Bisous and Fashion Toast, respectively) have both been signed to Next and Tavi from Style Rookie has her own fan club of editors and stylists championing her as the next Diana Vreeland. What's interesting about fashion is that it is one of few industries where you need virtually no education to be a star. Dressing and presenting yourself well take the place of a diploma or experience and in some cases even dressing yourself badly works, too." [EvilMonito]
• J. Crew's quarterly results were so far above analysts' expectations that its share price rose 7% in after-hours trading. Same-store sales for the period rose 8% on last year, and revenue rose 14%, to $414 million. [Crain's]

• Ready for a mega-eyeroll? A "fan" is threatening to kill her cat, Fuzzy, and eat the animal unless Miley Cyrus reopens her Twitter account. The girl says:

"This is NOT a prank or a hoax. I am not joking, even if some will choose to interpret it that way. Cooking a cat is not illegal in my country, in fact it's part of our culture. I'm not asking for money or any other benefit. Fuzzy is my cat and I will not entertain any offers of selling or giving him away. If Miley doesn't tweet again, this WILL happen, and I'm as serious as a heart attack." [ONTD via Ocean Up]

• By the by, the 53-year-old man arrested for stalking Miley will not face felony charges. [TMZ]
• The Teen Thieves — who allegedly broke into the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom, Audrina Patridge and others — were possibly going to target Mariah Carey and Rihanna next. TMZ calls them the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch™. [TMZ]
• The L.A Times calls the Teen Thieves the "Bling Ring," since the kids were after jewelry. [LA Times]
• A seized computer used by one of the Teen Thieves had pictures of Lindsay and Sam shopping for Rolex watches downloaded on it. And! There was a picture on the computer of someone wearing a blue Rolex, possibly after the burglary. It's like they used gossip sites to "shop" for what they wanted to steal. ALLEGEDLY. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Add Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Hayden Panettiere, Bette Midler (?!?), Shania Twain (?!?!) and Goldie Hawn (?!?!) to the list of celebs whose photos the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch had on their computer. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears has been wearing some "chunky bling" on that finger, so naturally, she's engaged. [The Sun]
• Michael Lohan can't stop talking about Lindsay: "Dina is saying that I'm lying - that Lindsay doesn't have a problem and that she's okay… But I have proof that Dina has told me Lindsay is on death's doorstep, that she doesn't have much time left. There have been frantic calls. And I'm going to prove that Dina is the liar, not me." Good grief, man. Aren't some things private? Apparently not: Michael Lohan will "prove" that Dina is lying by playing numerous voice-mail messages she's left for him — on Monday's Entertainment Tonight. [Gatecrasher]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but socialite Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show will be sorta fake. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had a Sheva Brachot. [People]
• Anderson Cooper. In an opulent hotel in India. With a four-poster mahogany bed. And a large round bathtub, filled with bubbles and rose petals. [Page Six]
• This new Alice In Wonderland extended trailer is nightmarishly beautiful. Johnny Depp scares me a little. Is this what Tim Burton's dreams look like? [PopWrap]
• It's confirmed: Levi is going "Full Johnson" in Playgirl. I'm cocksure jokes will follow. [TMZ]
• Charlize Theron auctioned off a meeting with Nelson Mandela… without notifying Nelson Mandela. [Page Six]
• If you have $28 million (€19 million), you can buy Castello di Castagneto Po — the castle in the Italian hills where French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy spent her early childhood. The neo-Gothic place is surrounded by 175 acres "replete with vegetable gardens, orchards, flowering terraces, ancient greenhouses, a caretaker's house and a farm building." here is a picture of the humble abode. [Reuters]
• Chris Brown has been hanging out with Natalie Nunn from The Bad Girls Club. In the bio for the show she says she "enjoys cruising in her sugar daddies' expensive cars and painting the town red with her cool celebrity friends." Yup, SO COOL. [TMZ]
• Here's the thing about the reality show starring Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman — to be called Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom (which we mentioned yesterday: Jon's rep says: "This is the first I've even heard of it. This isn't happening." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meet the Hayes family, whose new show Table For 12, will air next month when Jon & Kate is gone. [NY Post]
• Josh Duhamel denies that he cheated on Fergie with a stripper. His rep says: This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity… This story is absolutely ridiculous." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is in therapy as part of Celebrity Fit Club, and High School Musical star KayCee Stroh, who's also on the show, says: "Kevin's as cool as a cucumber. He keeps it all together. All the rest of us are sobbing like babies, but Kevin is pretty calm and collected." [E!]
• An auction house disclosed that some Michael Jackson memorabilia was previously owned by David Gest; Gest claimed they had no right to use his name and demanded $200,000. So the auction house is suing Gest. [TMZ]
• Some Michael Jackson fans picketed the This Is It premiere Tuesday night, feeling that he was "neglected, used, and emotionally tormented until his last days" and "while this footage was being shot, people around him knew that he looked like he might have died." [Page Six]
• Even though people find the commercial for DirecTV featuring a scene from Tommy Boy — and starring the late Chris Farley and David Spade kind of tasteless, Spade doesn't have a problem with bringing Farley back to life and says: "These commercials are cool. They're well done. They're clever. And that they would include Tommy Boy in that company, I thought was very flattering… Oh, my God if [Farley] was here, I guarantee he'd be stoked that this little movie is included." [People]
• Jessica Biel will star and produce Fucking Engaged, a "raunchy comedy" from "rookie screenwriter" Julia Brownell. The pitch: A couple makes a pact to have sex every day leading to their wedding so they don't turn into their crusty old parents. Kudos to Brownell for selling her first script! I don't know her but she went to my screenwriting school. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Anne Heche will be in two comedy flicks — one of which is the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg movie The Other Guys. [Variety]
• Has one of Anna Nicole Smith's former doctors been hiding some key medical records? [TMZ]
• So there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that offended Catholics. What else is new? [E!]
• Donald Trump's crew has started work on a new golf resort in Scotland — despite opposition from many, including Tilda Swinton. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• At the link, Jane Campion explains why she was so moved by the tragic affair between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, the subject of her new film, Bright Star. [Telegraph]
• Mel B. says she's honored by gay men finding her attractive: "I try hard with my body… I don't look like a bloke though!" [Daily Express]
• Real Housewife Kandi Burruss talks about her ex-fiancé's murder at the link. [NY Post]
• ABC had plans to have skywriters spray giant Vs over major cities to promote new TV show V, but have decided it might scare folks. [NY Post]
• Corey Feldman is "deeply hurt" by his wife filing for divorce. [People]
• Some of the pros from Dancing With The Stars will join the cast of Burn The Floor on Broadway next month. [NY Post]
• Q: I cry when I watch...
  A: "Everything! I'm half Irish-I cry at commercials. I recently saw a movie called The Greatest. We watched it at 8 a.m., and I was ruined for the rest of the day. I had a headache from crying." — Tim McGraw. [Readers' Digest]
• "I could do with another boob lift, but no way. I don't want to end up looking like (Jocelyn Wildenstein). She looked freaky." — Courtney Love, after meeting Wildenstein. [MSNBC]
• I spotted her in the crowd and thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, but she came backstage with this good-looking dude and I assumed it was her boyfriend. The other problem was that I don't speak Spanish and she had no English. But the guy did, so I just spoke to him. I was a bit nervous because of how beautiful she was. The more I drank, the more I made things worse. I later found out she was on the phone to her mother the whole time saying, 'Buble's gay. He's hitting on my friend.' She couldn't believe it…" — MIchael Bublé on meeting his new girlfriend. [The Sun]
• "Make sure you have a date night just the two of you together, without the kids." — Hugh Jackman's advice on keeping a family happy. [Mirror]
• "I shave about once a week now. It kind of started to come in just like peach fuzz. I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff." — Chaz Bono. [People]
• Q: TBS has said your show will be like a street party. What does that mean to you, a street party?
  A: "Probably what it means to TBS is that it's going to be safe and a lot of fun and properly lit. A street party to me means it's dark, it's fun, you stay after the party, and you just try to condense as much fun into that one hour." — George Lopez, possibly one of the only Latinos with a late night talk show. [Reuters]
• "Thank you to those who appreciate and understand that the album cover is deliberately campy. It's an (homage) to the past. It IS ridiculous. For those that don't get it: oh well… Glad to have gotten your attention. Androgyny. Rock n Roll." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, on his Glamour Shots album cover. [MSNBC]
• "I fear the worst. Look at Elvis, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger - who was a close friend of hers. It could be a year, a month, a week - who knows?" — Michael Lohan tries to predict when Lindsay is going to die. [MSNBC]

• Frances Bean Cobain has written an open letter to Ali Lohan. Would you like to know what it says? Here goes — and consider it to be [sic]-filled:

"This is my open letter to Ali Lohan.
Your not entitled to anything simply because your sister has a recognizable name. Your idea of fame isn't fame. It's infamy. You want to be famous? Work your ass off and make decisions that could potentially catapult your career into a lasting one. Notariety for who you are and notaritey for the work you produce are two completely differnt things. I understand that you have been brought up in an envirtoment where the idea of fame is easily achievable but, that's not an excuse. You lack the talent, social understanding and credibility to be anything other then infamous. Your careere choices, thus far, will transcend a future career as someone who attempted to be famous, but never quite achieved it. And if you do, it will be the formality of fame that puts you on the covers of tabloids, while the public idly watches you plumit into the murky abyss shared with the likes of Spencer Pratt & Jon Gosslin who, i'm sure, will steal your money whilst there. Fortunately for the world, there are people who have and don't have recognizable names, who have obtained artistic integrity and will one day, hopefully, bring that tangible artisticness into light again. Though, its hard to think thats achievable when people like You ali lohan are rendering the world of true talent by attempting to make your entitled ass noticed. How is this fair to the people who HAVE artistic integrity, or a mind? How is it fair to those who truly have something to offer the human race other then a dwindling last name and a few shitty films, both of which, solidified the idea that your just a celebrities sibling. I recognize that i might come across as harsh and no, i don't personally know you, but its the actions that you take, that speak for you. You blatently don't care how your recognized, its the objective to get famous and that is what makes you replaceable and a recycled idea .Well, im ashamed to have to be grouped into the same category of person as you. I would rather die a most painful death the be assoicated with the kind of careere your trying to make for your self. I hope i'm wrong because generally i'm not a very judgmental person, but in the case of you, that is MY entitlement." Phew! …And scene. [ONTD]

• Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston had a "secret meeting" in New York, yet somehow the Daily Fail knows that the rendez-vous took place in a hotel and that Brad "unloaded his emotional baggage" on Jen. [Daily Mail]
• I wish I'd seen the Madonna and Lady Gaga dance off on Saturday night after SNL; sources say Madonna seemed to be the winner. [Page Six]
• "Madonna and her toy boy Jesus Luz had a bust-up following the pop queen's admission she'd rather get hit by a train than get hitched again." He supposedly feels like a fool and is heartbroken. [The Sun]
• OMG Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart went out for dinner (with friends)! They ate and enjoyed themselves! They were acting like a couple! All together, now: TWILIGHTISREALSPARKLEVAMP4EVA. [People]
• After being in a car accident on Monday, Nicole Richie's been checked out at the hospital, visited by her mother at home, and hired a lawyer. Hope everything is okay. [People]
• Jon Gosselin on that missing $230,000 from the Gosselin's joint account: "I never took any money." [TMZ]
• Lamar Odom has met with his lawyer regarding a prenup in his wedding to Khloe Kardashian, and word is, he will not be giving her half his earnings. [TMZ]
• Spoilers! You know this pic of Kim Cattrall in a wedding dress for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? It's supposedly a fake-out; the ones getting married are Stanford and Anthony. More spoilery details at the link. [JustJared]
• SHOCKER: Mariah Carey has been acting like a diva on her new tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Click for a pic of Kate Hudson in a wedding dress, modeling for a Bazaar photo shoot. [NY Post]
• Organizers "worked overtime" to keep feuding singers Lily Allen and Katy Perry away from each other at the Chanel show in Paris. [The Sun]
• Kevin Federline's former landlords want $110,661 in unpaid rent and damages — which include spit marks on the exterior paint, gutters full of cigarette butts and beer bottles, broken tiles, a broken dishwasher and dismantled smoke detectors. Popo wow. [TMZ]
• Tyra Banks doesn't drink anymore, and a "source" says, "I guess that's how she ended up dropping 30 pounds." Anonymous weight loss speculation FTW! [Page Six]
• Shannen Doherty is working on a reality show that will highlight her "lighter and funnier" side. [E!]
• Queen Latifah is concerned about the hip-hop scene: "Never in my career do I remember rap being so male-dominated. In videos, women are basically shown as the girl you shake the booty with. They're objectified. There are females out there who can rap, who listen to rap. Missy and Lil' Kim and the young up-and-coming ones need an opportunity to be heard. I think we're all masculine and feminine, and a society can't be right if you don't honor the feminine voice." [USA Today]
• Usher's divorce: Delayed. [NY Daily News]
• "The FBI investigated whether Anna Nicole Smith was part of a plot to kill her tycoon husband's son, whom she was battling for his late dad's fortune, but prosecutors ultimately decided there wasn't enough evidence to charge the Playboy Playmate who died in 2007 from a drug overdose, newly released files show." [AP, LA Times]
• A man who bid in the canceled Michael Jackson auction is pissed he didn't get the stuff he was willing to pay for. He's suing for $5,000,000. [TMZ]
• Honestly, I do not even get why story about Jude Law, Hamlet and someone being upstaged by a skull is "news." It sounds like much ado without nothing. [Telegraph]
• The number of viewers of The Jay Leno Show: In decline. [USA Today]
• Nick Lachey avoided Jessica Simpson while in Vegas and refused to be photographed with on and off girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo. [Page Six]
• No one wants to be on Tinsley Mortimer's reality show. [Page Six]
• "Mel's anti-Jew-spew DWI wiped off books." [NY Post]
• Is Cougar Town a virus? It's spreading. The show will air in territories across Europe, Africa and the Middle East. This is what we export, people. Cougars. Can I go back to bed now? [Variety]
• If you shop at the right consignment stores, you could find clothes worn by Padma Lakshmi, who's given up her pre-pregnancy ensembles for charity. [Page Six]
• Something happened to Tony Roberts during the Sunday matinee of the Broadway play The Royal Family. His daughter reports the actor had a minor seizure and is now "feeling great." [USA Today]
• At the link, you'll find Chris Daughtry's tips for a happy marriage. If you're interested. [People]
• Elvis Presley's grandson Ben Presley, 17, just inked a $5 million record deal but says: "The music will be nothing like Elvis, nothing like him at all." Good luck with that! [NY Post]
• Little Britain star Matt Lucas had tried to get his former husband Kevin McGee off coke, and even paid for rehab; McGee committed suicide earlier this week. [The Sun]
• "I wanted somebody who had a huge presence-charismatic, able to dominate a room [yet] who was very sensitive, whose emotions were right under the surface." — Spike Jonze, on casting James Gandolfini's voice in Where The Wild Things Are. [The Daily Beast]
• "I think the way kids create is so inspiring. They're drawing a picture? They love the picture they drew; they're not tortured about it. But I think that that's only one side of me. Right now, it's a good story because it makes a tie-in with the movie." — Spike Jonze, on getting labeled an overgrown child. [Daily Beast]
• "I have kissed a lot of rock stars in my time but seriously never so many as the last 24 hours." — Courtney Love. [Page Six]
• "Hanging around with Chris, he always has a video camera, and he's like, 'I'm gonna ask you some questions about hair.' I talked a lot, but that turned out to be, uh, funny, I guess… I had a perm and when guys have it straightened, they put the rollers in their head, you know, so you get that Super Fly look." — Ice-T, who is in Chris Rock's Good Hair and, yes, used to wear rollers. [NY Mag]
• "I'd never been averse to any kind of medication, but you get brainwashed. I started reading all these books and doing pregnancy yoga. By the end, you feel you have to go natural in order to be a real woman. I got myself a doula [birthing assistant] and a water tank and struggled on for 24 hours, and then I had an epidural. I can remember saying to the anaesthetist, 'Oh, I love you, thank you so much.' I don't know what I was thinking." — Emily Mortimer, who is expecting her second child in January. [Telegraph]
• "It was important for me to write that, to get it off my chest. And to discuss it with a therapist, and tell my parents — which I did, eventually, though it took me about 20 years. And hopefully it will be helpful to someone out there who has gone through a similar situation. [The incident] left me not knowing how to deal with certain things. Boys can put pressure on you, and I didn't do so well with saying no. I had a lot to figure out, and I did eventually, but it was tough. We have to do a better job of looking out for our young girls, because there are predators out there." — Queen Latifah, regarding a song on her new album, Persona, about when she was molested as a 5-year-old by a male babysitter. [USA Today]
• "I get offered movies on a regular basis, but most of them are terrible because most of the movies that are made are terrible. I don't think anybody saw Adventureland, but they marketed it as a big comedy, so I get sent these really shitty scripts that I think people assume that was like. So many scripts where people are having sex with each other. Every script starts off with sex… [With Zombieland…they were nervous to hire me because I'm not famous. There were other more famous people who were auditioning for it. I think the main reason I got into it was because Sony really likes Greg Mottola, who directed Adventureland, so he vouched for me, because he directed their biggest movie in the last several years, Superbad. — Jesse Eisenberg. [BlackBook]
• "Guns seem dumb. I felt bad holding guns because I don't know what influence it has on people watching movies. You can make the argument that it lets people take out their aggression so they don't do it in real life. You can also make the argument that it makes guns look fun and people are going take them out and play with them." — Jesse Eisenberg. [BlackBook]
• "I normally get recognized as either a guy from Spring Awakening, or there's this other guy that screams at me all the time, Hey Napoleon Dynamite! I don't go to nightclubs, I don't go to nice restaurants. There's no perk that can be had aside from getting a slice of pizza at interviews. But you could. People really could exploit it. I haven't been single for 7 years, but I know people who are maybe my level of attractiveness or less and they can have sex quite often… That's great, because then they'll tell me about it." — Jesse Eisenberg. [BlackBook]

• Yes, this outfit is available! [OC via Racked]
• Kanye's so-last-week jackassery has spawned a tee shirt. We say: stop trying to make "I'ma let you finish" happen! [InventorSpot]
• Miuccia Prada has a "passion for knickers," believes deeply in no-pants. [Telegraph]

• Burlington Coat Factory has accused a NYC pants manufacturer of bribery. The manufacturer is accusing BCF of tarnishing their reputation. [NYP]
• I think we can all agree that what we need is more celebrity fragrances: in order to boost sales, this holiday season will see more boldface B.O. than ever before. Is our dream of "Joyce Carol Oates: Enigma" about to come true?! [WWD]
• Aspiring fashionistas, NB: Proenza Schouler's looking for design, production, and sales interns. [Fashionista]
• Vanity Fair Italia is throwing its weight around: "It's bigger than any international Vogue," says Jonathan Newhouse of the ever-expanding glossy. [WWD]
• Uniqlo brings its budget cashmere to a Paris flagship: will France dig it? [NYT]
• Model Sessilee Lopez has broken with Twitter. "Sorry twitter but this is my very last tweet ... we had some good times and bad but now our relationship is over ... " Was it something @ said? [New York]
• Frankly, we'd kind of forgotten about Enrique Iglesias, but Azzaro hadn't! He's the face of new fragrance Azzaro Pour Homme. [People]
• Karl Lagerfeld toys are practically a cottage industry: now the Kaiser's a 10" Manga-inspired Tokidoki figurine. Now he can have his own, cryptic Toy Story! [WWD]
• Jimmy Choo founder Tamara Mellon is for some reason no longer, repeat no longer, suing her mother. [Daily Mail]
• Paul Smith's iconic signature logo is, in fact, faux: "It was very practical to call it Paul Smith. Then I tried my signature and you couldn't read it, it was sort of ‘Gug Giz' and it didn't quite work! Pauline [Paul's wife] and I asked lots of friends to write it and one just wrote that signature. But I can do it now!" Hold up: Paul and Pauline? Okay, carry on. [Daily Express]
• Nobody's worn spider silk - "a textile stronger than steel and made from the silk of the golden orb spider, native to Madagascar" - for hundreds of years. But socialite Tinsley Mortimer donned a spider silk shawl at a Museum of Natural History exhibit dedicated to the wonder fabric. [Observer]
• WWD.com has "tweaked" its site - again - to make it more user-friendly. Yes, most everything is still subscription. [MediaBistro]
• French Connection has launched a baby's line, thankfully named "fc:baby" rather than "little fcuk." [Telegraph]
• We knew moving Project Runway to L.A. was a mistake! Here's Nina on why she and Michael Kors have been tragically MIA: "When it was in L.A. and in that time period that we filmed, it was very difficult to be there the entire time. He has another job, he's a designer and work on his collection, and I had to fly to Paris to see the fashion shows for the fall. It was impossible to be there for an entire month." [LAT]
• Although here's someone who's probably in favor of the move: Lauren Conrad! "I think that for the Kohl's line we wanted a very California brand...We were able to make the California-look very accessible everywhere." [People]
• Thanks to Ann Taylor's aggressive re-branding efforts, the stock is up 90% and analysts are lowering their rating. [Crains]
• From their scores of suitors, Zappos has selected Interpublic Group of Cos.' Mullen as its creative agency. Let's cross our fingers. [AdAge]
• Alber Elbaz spoke at "Creativity, innovation and excellence: from crafts to the design and fashion industry" at UNESCO's First Forum on Cultural Industries, in Italy. He was apparently charming, and presumably was more succinct than Gaddafi. [WWD]
• Vogue UK is having a "Miss Marple moment." We're guessing they interpret this less literally than we do. [VogueUK]
• Roberto Cavalli is opening an online shop, and the first 500 customers will receive a free bag "in Cavalli's signature prints." Threat or promise - you decide! [Sassybella]
• Perhaps inspired by Tim Gunn's Marvel turn (we wish) the Women Paris model agency's show package used a Sin City aesthetic, which sends a sinister message, but whatever. [The Fash Pack]
• We've heard of strange bedfellows, but Swatch and Tiffany? Says Swatch's prez, "It will be the perfect gift, to a well-educated, beautiful woman, a perfect gift. So man, back to your wallet." [Guardian]
• Out magazine feted itself at Original Penguin's NYC pop-up shop yesterday. Reports Racked: "Guests guzzled Blue Moons and were entertained by roving models, live mannequins, a soundtrack of diet dance pop, and slightly terrifying larger-than-life prints of October Out covergirl Donatella Versace." [Racked]

Mary J. lets the color do the talking.


One of you once coined a very good rule of thumb: if you can't describe an outfit in a single sentence, there's generally a problem. Jessica Seinfeld should have taken note.


Jullianna Margulies: a stark twist on the LBD.


Dayssi Kanavo demonstrates that draped ruffles are kind of like conjugating a French verb: if the first one is, the second one isn't. Or, in this case, shouldn't be.


I'm glad that, like me, Joy Bryant appreciates the style of Mrs. Roper. But she's taken it to another level entirely.


If you're going to do disco sparkle, Hilary Rhoda shows how it's done: total glam.


Selita Ebanks' outfit is definitely in my 2009 top ten. I am almost blinded by the beauty.


Tinsley Mortimer demonstrates total socialite confident chic - digging the mini for a gala.


Maggie Rizer does glam 30s society bride - always a good thing!


Paulina Porizkova is skewing a tad Valley of the Dolls, no?


Whereas Thalia is totally Casino!

[Images via Getty]

Alexandra Richards has the insolent, steely-eyed stare of rock royalty down.


I'm sure Real Houswife Jill Zarin's panels are meant to be contouring and mod - but the unfortunate effect is that of sweat stains.


Tinsley Mortimer models two major trends - graphic, 90s-style florals and cage booties - to hideous effect.


Iman is constitutionally incapable of not looking chic, but slick black never hurts.


Snowden Jones' tiered raincoat is a twist on the classic, I suppose. It reminds me of the many-caped greatcoats dandies and corinthians are always sporting in Georgette Heyer novels.


If your grandchildren ask what people were wearing in Fall '09, sadly you can show them this picture of Dani Stahl.


Lizzie Tische is, apparently, a fan of Cubism.


On the one hand, Kim Kassle's dress and coat have a mod vibe. On the other, they look like a Formula 1 kit.


Lauren Rae Levy applies Coco Chanel's precepts about pearls and the mixing of jewelry - if no others.


Eleni Lewandowki, Ed Kavishe, and Kathie Peech give a good portrait of last night's scene.


Not exactly digging on Charlize Theron's slightly cheesy gown, but yes, she looks bombshell-glam.


Anna Wintour obviously has somewhere else to be: far too busy to remove her coat.

[Images via Getty]

• Their movie's finished, so Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler went back to L.A. and had a "quiet dinner" on Wednesday. A source says:

They "appeared incredibly affectionate with one another" and were "kissing, hugging and leaning in to talk to each other for over two hours. But! They left separately and drove off in different directions. [Page Six]

• Victoria Beckham, who had been accused of leaving Medieval Times without leaving a tip, has sent a "generous gratuity" to her server, apologized for the mix-up, and all is well. [TMZ]
• More mixed feelings about Ellen on American Idol. [E!]
• Paula Abdul Tweeted: "I think Ellen will b a gr8 judge on Idol. She is wildly funny, talented and I wish her the best of luck!" [People]
• Oh Lord: Record labels are suing The Ellen DeGeneres Show, claiming that thousands of songs were played without permission. Boo, WTF, srsly? [Variety]
• In the Tila Tequila case, the San Diego County Sheriff's Department has handed off its evidence to the D.A,, and the D.A. has the power to file or reject charges against Shawne Merriman. Meanwhile, TT Tweeted: "A real man is able to apologize. A real woman is able to forgive and accept the apology......." [E!]
• Tila appears to have bruises all over her arms. [ONTD]
• This report asks, "Did a spurned request for a foursome lead to the fight between Shawne Merriman and bisexual girlfriend Tila Tequila?" The gist of it is that she walked in on him with two women, he asked her to join them, she got pissed and threatened to have sex with one of his friends; he choked her and threw her to the ground. [Page Six]
• Reports that Uma Thurman would be married at Kensington Palace in London: Wrong. [Daily Express]
• Picture this: Kanye West taking his first spinning class. FEEL THE BURN!!!1!! [Page Six]
• Either Stuart Townsend wears skirts or Charlize Theron likes to think he does. [NY Mag]
• If Penelope Cruz is pregnant, she's not saying. [Mirror]
• Looking for a job? Justin Timberlake is in search of an "Executive Vice President of Big Ideas" for his 901 Silver Tequila brand. The position comes with a signing bonus of $25,000. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl are not happy that players can unlock the Kurt Cobain character in Guitar Hero 5 and make him play songs by other artists like Bon Jovi and Bush. Novoselic and Grohl released a statement which read: . "It's hard to watch an image of Kurt pantomiming other artists' music alongside cartoon characters. Kurt Cobain wrote songs that hold a lot of meaning to people all over the world. We feel he deserves better." Courtney's Twitter feed contains similar outrage, but as this column notes: "we warn that the messages contain excessive profanity and demonstrate very poor grammar." [LA Times]
• Fashion's Big NIght Out saw Mary-Kate Olsen bartending at Bergdorf; Rihanna doing a five-minute lap around Intermix; and Ungaro's "artistic adviser," Lindsay Lohan, picking out a leather jacket at the store - then wearing it out the door after salesgirls ripped the tags off. [Gatecrasher]
• David Cross's new memoir, I Drink For A Reason, has an "amazing" author bio, which announces that he is "currently fucking Amber Tamblyn" and features a photo of her father, Russ Tamblyn. Cross says: "I cleared it with her, of course. She has an amazing, great sense of humor. She told her dad and her parents are super cool. Her dad laughed even harder than we did… So now we have to, like, stay together for a while." [NY Mag]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: A Tinsley Mortimer reality show is in the works. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff on her breakup with Maksim Chmerkovsky: "It comes with the territory that everything is in the public eye, but again, it is a private matter, it is a private relationship, and it should totally stay private." [ET]
• Ghostface Killah is dedicating some tracks on his new album to Natalie Portman. "I read in some interview she did in something called Interview magazine that she likes obscene rap music," Killah says. "When I read that, it was, like, 'Oh, shit, she would love the shit I got right here on this album!' It was wild, 'cause I remember her as the little girl in The Professional, and now she's all about the wild shit." Killah added, "Yo, if you see her, give her my number. Tell her we gotta make some music together." [Page Six]
• Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno is a web sensation! [AP]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert that was supposed to be in Vienna has been canceled. A new event will take place in London next year. [AP, Reuters]
• Maura Tierney has left the NBC show Parenthood, because of her ongoing treatments for breast cancer. [Variety]
• A woman went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig on Broadway in A steady Rain and says: "They were great, but we could have done with more nudity." [NY Daily News]
• As you may recall, Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica Seinfeld, wrote a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food. Missy Chase Lapine wrote a book called The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals, and accused Seinfeld of copying her. A judge has thrown out the lawsuit and Seinfeld's lawyer says: "Jessica did not copy anything from anyone and created her best-selling cookbook in her own kitchen from her own experiences." Case closed. [USA Today]
• LaToya Jackson owes $745,670.27 on her "swanky" condo in Las Vegas, and could lose her home unless she comes up with the cash by the end of the month. [TMZ]
• Yee-haw: "Josh Hartnett has signed on to star in Gunslinger a revenge-driven tale set in the near future in the snowy wasteland of a post-apocalyptic America." [Variety]
• Fran Drescher is in talks with Fox News; she wants her own talk show. She's A Democrat, but says: "A lot of my fans watch Fox News." [US News & World Report]
• "I enjoy teaching. There is no stress. The students are great. Making movies is a nightmare. It's all about time management and stamping out brush fires. With this one, I'm just lucky I got it made and wasn't sued. I guess that means it's a success." — Todd Solondz, on his quasi-sequel to Happiness, Life during Wartime. [Guardian]
• "To have him pass away, I'm sure the term has been used before but you could actually feel a light go out.... All of a sudden, I had a responsibility [with] the only movie adaptation, and that's something I never wanted. His work will always be, and I mean it with all due respect to the movie and the cast, his work will always be better than the movie could have been. The fear was that this project that had been such a passion project now has a responsibility." — John Krasinski, on directing a film based on the short-story collection Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, by the late David Foster Wallace. [WSJ]
• "When I first read the script, I said, 'I know why they are calling me to do this — because they need a hunk to justifying why this woman is with him.'" — Antonio Banderas, on his role in the film The Other Man, which stars Laura Linney. [LA Times]

The Good:
Milla Jovovich. Wine velvet. Nuff said. Okay, not quite: Damn her!


A little color-blocky, but it's fun to see Jessica Alba going in a more modern direction.


For some, fur is an automatic fail. I'm more sanguine when the stole — like Barbara's last name — appears inherited. The simple gown's a nice foil to the glam.


Okay, maybe controversial: I happen to think Anne V's YSL-style ecru onesie is a bold gamble that pays off in chic.


So basically, Waris Ahluwalia seem to be a full-time scenester who hangs out looking awesome, sometimes makes jewelry and shows up in the occasional Wes Anderson film. I know, sucks. Rachel Chandler looks rad, too.

The Bad:
I was already sorta tired of the bandage dress. And that was before Julia Restoin Roitfeld showed up in one made of green seat belts.


Besides...everything else....isn't Lauren Santo Domingo's getup a bit casual?


As stated above, I admire a gambler. And Miami Vice power jacket with sparkly nude leggings is nothing if not bold. But as Fabiola Beracasa should know, you gotta know when to hold 'em.


It's a sad state of affairs when I am so used to the sight of these shoes that when I see Tinsley Mortimer I think, "well...maybe..." Then I realized what I had become; a silent witness! No more!


Byrdie Bell's distressed (in every sense of the word) floral actually made my computer crash. Twice.


The ....?
Terence Koh and Jen Brill are either too wonderful for human comprehension or just dressed really horribly. But which???

[Images via Getty]

The store itself is rather lovely, what with the chandeliers and whatnot.


In fact, if Santa wants to bring me this chandelier — and an apartment to put it in — that would be great.


The more champagne I drank, the more I wanted to shoplift.


People! Cluster around the booze, why don't you!


Some of the jewelry is gorgeous. Pearls are so very now.


Also very now: Gloves. Someone working the party told me these are "big in Japan."


The bling mesmerized me with its sparkleosity, not that that's a word.


It's by Kimora, of course.


Hello Kitty Mary Janes! As the kids say: WANT.


Luggage, sneakers, everything "luxe," everything Kitty-covered.


This silver stuff was in the kids' section, but I found it very attractive. As in lust-worthy.


One of these bling-covered Pez dispensers was in my gift bag. Delightfully impractical!


Here's a shirt for Malia and Sasha Obama: Presidential pound puppy for the win!


The legendary Lady Bunny was the DJ of this event. She played Britney's "Womanizer," Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" and some Deee-Lite.


Hello Kitty arrived on the scene!


So did Heatherette's Richie Rich. There used to be Hello Kitty/Heatherette mashup stuff, maybe he'll so some again?


The Bunny and the Kitty had some kind of vogue-off.


I think Hello Kitty won.


Lisa Loeb showed up, and was frickin' adorable.


Seriously.


Tinsley Mortimer arrived. She is no bigger than a newborn fawn.


Are the Japanese into her or something?


She's totally starring in Bambi 2:Electric Boogaloo. Tinsley was there very briefly, and I decided: If she's leaving, then so am I. But first:


Goodbye Kitty!

• Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to kicking and spitting at police officers after screaming foul words at a British Airways employee. Naomi was heard on the phone saying: "They have lost my fucking bags, get me another flight, get the press, get me my lawyer." What? Like you don't say that all the time. Please. [The Sun]
• Didja hear? Jamie Lynn Spears squeezed out a daughter named Maddie Briann yesterday. Good luck, kid! Er, kids. [E!]
• Not that you needed to know this but: JLS didn't have a C-section. [ET]
• Casey Aldridge was so nervous the first time he held his new daughter — birthed by girlfriend Jamie Lynn Spears — that he said he was afraid he's drop her. Aw. [TMZ]
• "[Jamie Lynn] is awfully young to be a momma, but that's what they make [grandmothers] for. They have to help. That's the way it is with our circle of friends." —JLS's distant cousin Margie Busby. [People]
• Britney might move back to Louisiana. [Us]
• Snoop Dogg's new country video is out! "Country music is the most underrated music in the world," Snoop, who dedicates the song to Johnny Cash, says. "It always has the test of time, it's great, it's heartfelt, and it touches people no matter what color they are or where they're from." [People]

• Amy Winehouse is still in the hospital. [People]
• Tom Cruise is introducing David Beckham and Will Smith to fencing. Or, as this paper notes, they play with their swords together. [Mirror]
• Would you look at Will Smith's son, Jaden, 9, surrounded by blondes? [E!]
• Rhys Ifans is "heartbroken" after his split with Sienna Miller, which is why he got loaded and threw a beer bottle at photographers. Or maybe they were harassing him. [The Sun]
• Holy crap! After 14 years, is there a song from the Guns N Roses album, Chinese Democracy? [E!]
• OMG OMG Match Game is coming back? Seriously, I watch the old episodes on GSN and it is the best thing ever conceived. Drunk celebrities making sexual innuendos and double entendres. Bret Sommers, Richard Dawson, Charles Nelson Reilly. And that skinny mic Gene Rayburn rocks! It's corny, it's genius. Watch this. Or this. Oh! Anyway: Sarah Silverman, Norm MacDonald and Rashida Jones will be on the new version. [ONTD]
• Katie Holmes's Broadway play is bumping Mario Lopez's Broadway musical from its theater. Are we living in a parallel dimension where such a sentence makes sense? [ONTD]
• Janice Dickinson: Seen wearing an eyepatch and throwing water on a paparazzi. These TMZ dudes are jerks, huh? They just stalk and harass celebs till something happens and then post the video as "news." [TMZ]
• If you know who Charlotte Church is, you may care that she is pregnant with her second child. [The Sun]
• Oh no! The H, A, and N on this Hancock billboard in London were added last. Meaning, for a period of time, the sign read COCK. [The Sun]
• In Pete Doherty's new YouTube video, he films himself while taking a bath. What? At least he's clean. [The Sun]
• Molly Sims' dog ate so much sand it had to go to the hospital. [Page Six]
• Socialite Tinsley Mortimer is apparently too boring to get her own MTV show. [Page Six]
• Oprah Winfrey's bff Gayle King likes James Frey's new book, ha ha. [Page Six]
• Twin models walked off the set of Catherine Zeta-Jones's new movie The Rebound because they didn't want to wear skimpy bathing suits, yawn. [Page Six]
• Is there trouble in paradise for Ivana Trump and her new hubby? He didn't go with her to England's Royal Ascot races or to a slew of parties in Saint-Tropez. What the hell is wrong with him? Hanging with Ivana sounds fun. [Rush & Molloy]
• Jeremy Piven hit on Megan Fox at a party and promptly struck out. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z's new glasses are reminiscent of Raj from What's Happening!!. [The.Life Files]

• Breaking news: a Telegraph profile today inspired me to finally watch the Agyness Deyn music video. It is generic and derivative and cynically targeted at the aging Britpop nostalgists who write blogs and I fucking love it. Oh man, and I don't even hate myself for this. Embedded after the jump. [Telegraph]
  
• Tinsley Mortimer's makeup may look light and natural but it is actually deceptively heavy and high-maintenance! One brave New York writer consumed three hours she will never get back in an effort to emulate the Tinz. And you wonder why they pay her the big bucks. [NY Mag]

• It's intern theme day at Rag Trade! Hockey player Sean Avery just started his internship at Vogue. WWD thinks it's kind of scandalous that he maybe gets to attend the couture shows with Andre Leon Talley. Fashionista thinks it's kind of scandalous that he's actually getting paid minimum wage when "almost every single other intern there not only doesn't get paid at all, but usually ends up actually paying to be there (as I, dear reader, did three times for Conde internships)." We can think of other things involving the minimum wage that scandalize us more, but why discuss the travails of ordinary Americans when...
• We found out the real reason Teen Vogue banned high school interns! A tipster tells us: "so last year, one of teen vogue's interns crashed the met ball in a dress she had borrowed without permission from the teen vogue fashion closet, and then [blogged] about all the celebrities she met and exactly what they said to her... and then Kimball Hastings lost his shit, obviously."
• We had high hopes that a recession would usher in a new era of fashion, but this is somewhat worrisome: retail sales are so dismal that H&M sales fell last quarter for the first time since the Clinton Administration. [WWD]
• And yet! Abercrombie & Fitch somehow continues to thrive. [WWD]
• Which can only be auspicious for the...Ugg clothing line! [FabSugar]

• Who is Tory Burch's elusive 23-year old stepdaughter Pookie? On Mondays, Pookie interns for Bruce Weber, and the rest of the week she works as the assistant to the president of Carolina Herrera, and she was (allegedly) responsible for the magical pairing of New York's leading faux-WASP ice princess with Princess Coldstare, but alas, we have scoured the Google and cannot find a picture of her. So this will have to do. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• M.I.A has designed her own eponymous clothing line, which is really brightly colored so that, "if you lose it or someone steals it, you can see it from miles away and you can be like, 'Oy! Give me my shirt back!'" Oy is right! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Tinsley Mortimer, you see, is not a bad designer of handbags, it's just that she made the mistake of trying to sell them in Japan. "Japanese girls have no use for clutches because they just go to the clubs right after work. They are so different from New York. Stylewise, colorwise, stylewise. It's very youth-oriented. I'm designing for women between the ages of 20 and 40... But in Japan, after 25, it's like, basically, you're dead." [NYMag]

• "Now that I've been modeling some, I can actually stand in high heels—at least for a night." Oh, Hagyness. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Meanwhile, poor Erin Wasson broke her foot running in stilettos while shooting the ad campaign for Justin Timberlake's clothing line, William Rast. Doctors say her bones were fragile due to the amount of time she has spent in her life in heels. Ouch. [NYMag]
• Are you ready for Tuesday night's Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala? [Is that a trick question? -Moe] The theme is superheroes because "the superhero is the overarching metaphor for fashion, because both share this obsession with the body, identity and transformation." [WWD, sub req'd]
• No actually, explains Diane Von Furstenberg, superheroes are just super-trendy right now. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Poor Nicole Fahri was mugged at knifepoint outside her home! [Mirror UK]
• "My wife and I had a great time just sitting and going through things and working on what we liked the best...I would love to see her have a fragrance, and us to have one together — a unisex fragrance. That would be wonderful. She's a lot more expensive than I am." Tim McGraw on his new eponymous fragrance and his oft-PhotoShopped wife, Faith Hill. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Virtual Christian Siriano prom dresses? We're confused. Explain this to us, please. [Gaia]
• Oscar de la Renta shot his Fall/WInter 2008 ad campaign at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in San Diego. Which is, um, really random and has nothing to do with polio? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Is former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane doing a line for Diesel? Eh, probs. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Naomi Watts is the new face of Thierry Mugler's Angel fragrance. We are so happy for her. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Martin Margiela is trying to go mainstream. Have you never heard of him? Well, that's cause he's so not mainstream. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Chuck Close, Jeff Koons, Marilyn Minter, Kiki Smith, Cai Guo-Qiang, Barbara Kruger, Ashley Bickerton, Kenny Scharf, Glenn Ligon, Rirkrit Tiravanija, Kerry James Marshall, Hanna Liden and Sarah Sze are all collaborating with the Gap on a series of t-shirts. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Elie Tahari is collaborating with artist Kenny Scharf, too. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Alice Temperely: Showing in London come September for the first time in six seasons. Buh-bye, New York. [Vogue UK]
• Colin McDowell, fashion editor of The Sunday Times of London, is leaving the paper to become creative editor-at-large of Net-a-Porter and spearhead its original editorial content. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Revlon: In debt. But less so now than before. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Elizabeth Arden: Profits are down. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Same goes for Bebe. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And Steve Madden! Hmmm, I wonder what it all means? [Crain's]

The Good: They call Emmy Rossum mellow yellow? Maybe this could be the new alternate color for bridal: I'm newly inspired. Kim Raver also wears something that would be a prettier wedding dress than anything I've seen in this week's bridal shows. Sometimes I wonder if Georgina Chapman is the only fashion designer who actually knows how to dress herself. I'm all about the Morticia Addams look on Hana Soukupova. Hell has frozen over: I like what Tinsley Mortimer is wearing. Yay for pretty Virginia Madsen and her pretty dress.

The Bad: Eva Amurri, why must you hide what God gave you? Jennifer Missoni shows how young women Miley Cyrus' age should dress. (Of course, Missoni's 23, not 15.) Joy Bryant channels Miss Scarlett and wears the drapes. Kate Lee Joel dresses like Miss Haversham would've before she entered her later years. I like that she tried out something different, but something about Leighton Meester's look just isn't working. Also, does anyone else think Meester looks totally different in her real life (or, er, at least on the red carpet) than she does on Gossip Girl? Marghertia Missoni's whole look is 10% overdesigned.

The Ugly: Most of the time, I hang my head in shame for loving Mary-Kate Olsen's look. Today is not one of those days. It's Medusa! Oh sorry: It's just Rachel Zoe.

[Images via Getty.]

• Takashi Murakami: would you just look at that fucking face? That is a face that will almost melt your cynicism away. You'll forget most people know who he is because he designed a line of handbags for Louis Vuitton...
  
• And that handbag line got knocked off to the point that he's arguably America's most famous contemporary artist. You forget the museum is packed with models and Marc Jacobs, Tinsley Mortimer, and Louis Vuitton executives saying things like "Vuitton has a long tradition of these collaborations, of relationships with artists, going back to the Impressionists," and "If I work with Takashi, and we do something colorful, I think it will help make New York strong again," (italics mine) and you might actually find yourself thinking, "Well, the financial sector ain't gonna make New York strong again," and enjoying the Kanye performance. This item, btw, refers to the Murakami exhibit, which was the most important thing that happened all weekend. [NY Times]
  
• Celebrity stylist Estee Stanley had a wedding and the Olsens came wearing masks, in silent remembrance of Heath Ledger. [PopSugar]
  
• Straight from the set of the new ELLE reality show "Fashionista": "[The contestants] are smart, most of them, but their style is really poor, at least so far. They dress like what they see magazine editors in movies wear, not what you guys actually wear. The producers are calling them 'Twenty percents,' like, they have 20% of the skills necessary to work at a magazine right now..." You gotta love how immediately "skills" reveal themselves to consist of "outfits" in magazine publishing. It's such an honest industry that way. [Fashionista]

• The recession may compel socialites to walk their own dogs, but the first thing they'll probably give up is all those charities they spend so much time helping. [NY Mag]
• A new Facebook application allows you to "gift" your Facebook friends limited edition Louis Vuitton Murakami wallets, bracelets, pendants, etc. How long before we get to witness the first virtual raid on some Coco Canal hustler's stockpile of pirated Facebook Louis Vuitton gifts? [Fashionista]
• You know what gets me really excited? When an ailing mall retailer decides it is going to reinvent its brand by starting a higher-end sub-brand priced 40% higher than the usual brand — which was priced 50% higher before they opened 2,000 stores and let quality standards drop 75% — and opens a special store dedicated to the new "limited edition" sub brand in which the brand's new "philosophy" is etched on a wall in the store: "Step out of the everyday and into the extraordinary. A limited edition collection defined by exquisite fabrics, distinctive details and modern silhouettes, Monogram is the most eloquent expression of style." Barf. [WWD]
• How sweet! Another designer opens up her brand to target fashion-conscious kiddies. [WWD]
• So Margherita Missoni designs a thousand-dollar bracelet with some profits to benefit that continent where all the diamonds come from, and to read the way they convey this news on Fashion Week Daily you would seriously think she cured fibromyalgia or something. No, I swear: every time you think you get how far up its own ass this industry's head is, you click on something like this. [FWD]
• Good news! You can now buy overpriced beauty products by such brands as Kiehl's and Bumble & Bumble at Target, secure in the knowledge that Kiehl's and Bumble & Bumble are not happy about it. [Bellasugar]

The Good: Waris Ahluwalia and Chriara Clemente are one fierce duo. Linda Evangelista: Oh yes. Selita Ebanks is the shit. I want to put Takashi Murakami in my pocket and bring him home with me.

The Bad: Eva Herzigova was one of my favorite supermodels; why must she pain me by wearing this heinous fur? Jennifer Creel is stiff; perhaps she could use a stiff one? I pray to Pat Field and whomever else might be able to salvage Kristin Davis from the wardrobe of Charlotte York. This MR. guy scares me. Same goes for Terrence Koh. And Tinsley Mortimer.

The Ugly: Oh no, Chiho Ashima. Oh. No.

"I'm thinner at the top than the bottom, so I love a strapless dress or a big bubble skirt where you don't see my thighs. I'd love to wear jeans, but i don't feel comfortable...Of course, I want a boy. You always want that for your husband, to keep the family name. But Chihuahuas are girly dogs. My husband is so not girly and he loves them. He's so amazing with our little girl dog. I think he'd be a great girl dad...In the [Park Avenue Diet, a book to which she contributed] I talk about not having preconceived notions of people — of making them into two-dimensional characters. I'll pose in a picture, I'l have blonde curls and this girly look. But I'm a normal girl. I'm insecure."

The Good:
This dress is sorta stupid, but also kinda awesome. And it's won by Byrdie Bell, whose name makes me laugh, laugh, laugh.
It takes a brave woman to put red ruffles on her ass, Cristina Greeven Cuomo.
When boho stylings happen to handbag heiresses who are really not bohemian.
Jennifer Creel: The only one who got the memo about playing it simple and classy?

The Bad:
A double-whammy of bad: Carrie Cloud looks like she stole Extra #8's costume from The O.C. and Lara Meiland's dress is irritating.
Doug Hannant is the only redeeming thing about Valesca Guerrand-Hermes's puke green column.
Ahhhhh my retinas! Thanks a bunch, Jamee Gregory.
I think there is a sea creature on Olivia Palermo's shift.
Is wearing a black dress better than wearing a dress with a sea-creature on it? Only Renee Rockefeller can answer that question.
Why did no one stop Susan Shin before leaving the house?

The Ugly:
The time machine broke down and Cynthia Lufkin got stuck somewhere between Tara and Saved by the Bell.
Nicole Miller has done little to disabuse me of the belief that fashion designers are always the worst-dressed ones in the room.

[Images via Getty.]

(Graphics created by Cheryl Campbell; click on image to enlarge)

Related: Harper's Index (March 2008) [Harper's]

Lindsay's Super Comeback [Harper's Bazaar]

Blonde Ambition: Tinsley Mortimer [Harper's Bazaar]

Earlier: The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: J. Lo's Diamonds, Giuliani And The Cougar Allure
The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: January 2008
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: December 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: September 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: August 2007
•The Harper's (Bazaar) Index: July 2007

• Further proof that there may really be a ELLE curse: WWD reports that actress Michelle Williams had already been shot for the April cover of the ladymag, but asked to have it and a related story pulled after the death of Heath Ledger. She's since been replaced with Natalie Portman. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Eva Mendes is the face of the still-unnamed, still-unlaunched new Calvin Klein fragrance. Given that Mendes is the mascot, we assume the scent smells like a hot bod and forgettable acting career. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Kimora Lee Simmons also has a new fragrance out, called Fabulosity. (Of course.) Says Simmons, "Yes, I'm over the top, and yes, I'm unapologetic, and yes, I have really big diamonds, but I have an equally big heart and an equally big spirit." [WWD, sub req'd]

• Most exciting of all? Celine Dion has a new fragrance! It is called Sensational, and we think, in the words of Kathy Griffin, that it smells like equal parts "magique," "musique" and and inflated sense of self. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Radar magazine clearly has a death wish, as it has ranked Lauren Conrad as the #1 most influential person in fashion, with Vogue's Anna Wintour coming in at a piddling #17. [Radar]
• H&M's profits are up by 14%. [WWD, sub req'd]
• That green dress that Keira Knightley wore in Atonement t is going to be auctioned off for charity. Bids start at $1,000, so if you're one of the many salivating, get crackin'. [UPI]
• I want a jacket that doubles as a LiteBrite! [Technology Review]
• Erin Fetherston (whose F/W 2008 show we'll be live-blogging tonight) is now designing a capsule collection of jewelery with designer Sasha Primak. We expect it to be hyper-feminine and beloved by hipsters everywhere. [Fashion Week Daily]
• And funky menswear designer Duckie Brown (we'll be there too) has been tapped to design a shoe collection for not-funky Florsheim. [WSJ]
• Ooh must get into the Derek Lam show! Swag bag full of Kiehl's products! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Michael Kors described his upcoming F/W 2008 collection as having an "urban, investment-oriented theme with not a baby-doll in sight." Um, okay So confused. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Why, God, why? New York socialite Tinsley Mortimer is designing her own clothing line, Riccime by Tinsley Mortimer. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Heatherette designer Richie Rich on what he loves about Old Navy: "The clothes are great... I wear their socks and I wear their underwear!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Please, please get us Prada tarot cards. [Chic Report]
• Kate Moss is on the cover of the March issue of British Vogue, making it her 25th cover with the Brit fashion book alone. Wow. [Sassybella]