• Jon Gosselin's having the worst week ever. Earlier, a judge ended his reality TV career and in his divorce from Kate Gosselin today, she got the house and most of the money, while he'll be making huge child support payments.

• An arbitrator decided Jon should pay five figures a month in child support and the $235,000 he withdrew from their joint account was deducted from his settlement (all of the money Kate withdrew really was spent on the kids). Maybe it's time to get a real job. [TMZ]
• "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on the children," said Kate Gosselin in a statement. "On behalf of myself and my legal team, I want to express my deep appreciation to the Judge and his staff, as well as to the arbitrator, for resolving this case. This has been a challenging transition for all of us, but I am confident that we will move ahead with the important task of restructuring our lives." [Radar Online]
• Beyonce's mother Tina Knowles has filed for divorce from her husband Matthew Knowles. A paternity suit was recently filed against Matthew and the documents say they "ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 5, 2009," the day of their 30th wedding anniversary. [TMZ]
• Gisele Bundchen revealed that she and Tom Brady named their son Benjamin in a post to her fans on her website. She thanked them and wrote: "I am living a very special moment in my life, Benjamin is a blessing and I could not be happier." [People]
• The Wayans Brothers' former assistant is suing them because he claims they stole their literary masterpiece You Know You're A Golddigger from him. [AP]
• Gross: During a trip to Universal Studios, Michael Jackson's children spotted browsing near the Magnet Max store, which sells pictures of them mourning at their father's funeral for $1.99 each. [Radar Online]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna that Jermaine Jackson was organizing has been cancelled. They couldn't find anyone willing to perform in the show after acts including Mary J. Blige, Chris Brown, and Natalie Cole pulled out. [Reuters]
• Lily Allen was supposed to perform at the charity show Mencap's Big Noise Session on Saturday, but she cancelled because she has a "severe recurrent throat infection." [The Mirror]
• As Keira Knightley predicted, her debut on London's West End stage drew mixed reviews. [AFP]
• Jessica Simpson's extremely drunk makeup artist was arrested early this morning for disturbing the peace and sources say Jess went to the jail to bail her out, but police said the woman was still to drunk to be released. [TMZ]
• The YouTube channels on teen stars including Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and the Jonas Brothers were hacked today so that the front page showed a black screen with a letter on it that collectively spelled out "fuck you." Miley Cyrus' page has the message "I hate Asian." [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods' mom Kultilda Woods is "hurt, angry and disappointed in Tiger. She wants to know how he could do this to his family.... She loves him and will support him through anything, but she needs some time to work through this... It was devastating to her. She likes Elin, and adores her grandchildren. She's worried about them. She doesn't want to see them hurt." [People]
• Thursday on The View, Elisabeth Hasselback asked Stanley Tucci if his wife, who died of cancer in May, had seen The Lovely Bones. She Tweeted today: "It was an honest mistake with stanley tucci today & i called him to apologize," she wrote. "He forgave me (such grace)- if only i could forgive myself..." [Radar Online]
• Rescue Me executive producer Peter Tolanbring says the show will bring back Maura Tierney, who had to leave the show after having surgery for breast cancer. He said her episodes will be shot in the spring, "so she can take care of herself and come back then." [People]
• Shane Sparks, one of the judges on the MTV show America's Best Dance Crew, has been arrested and charged with eight counts of child molestation. There is only one victim, a woman who says the "oral copulation and other acts" started in 1994 and continued for several years. Earlier this year Sparks co-star Alex Da Silva was charged with rape. [TMZ]
• Morrissey wrote on a fan site: "I am sorry that [his latest album] Swords was such a meek disaster. It was proposed and accepted as a budget-priced CD, yet emerged everywhere as the most expensive CD in the racks. It was poorly distributed and didn't stand a chance, and ranks as the lowest chart position I've ever encountered." [NME]
• Diddy says his 3-year-old twin girls are "Talking a lot more and they're very demanding... 'Sit down. Don't go anywhere, stay here, do this.' They give me a lot of orders. When they tell me to sit down, everything else gets put to the back burner." [People]
• Sophia Loren says of her famous quote, "Everything I am I owe to spaghetti," "It's not true! I never said it. 'I owe everything to the spaghetti?' It's not true. They put it in my mouth and it still goes on. It's not true. So silly. Can you imagine?" [CBS News]
• Emily Blunt says that while researching Queen Victoria for The Young Victoria, "The thing that shocked me was the required hand-holding down the stairs and Victoria's mother's sleeping in the same room as her daughter until she was 18. How suffocating that must have been, and not being allowed any friends or to read books - basically to be deprived of anything that could be inspiring or influential in any way." [WSJ]
• Sigourney Weaver says, "I changed my name when I was about twelve because I didn't like being called Sue or Susie. I felt I needed a longer name because I was so tall. So what happened? Now everyone calls me Sig or Siggy." [Esquire]
• "I love well-made clothes and its fun and it's a delight to get to borrow them and wear them. I love fittings as part of an actress' life, but it's not a preoccupation for me and I think that's the difference. I have tremendous respect for designers. ... I'm very fond of the world, but I'm not preoccupied. That's a big difference between myself and Carrie Bradshaw." — Sarah Jessica Parker [AP]
• Q: What do you think of Donald Trump? Rue McClanahan: I think of him as little, as infrequently as possible. But I do think he has a very bad hairdo." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Alexsandra Wright, who is 6-months pregnant, has filed a paternity case alleging that Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles, is the father of her child. He has been married to Tina Knowles since 1980. [TMZ]

• Madonna told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show that she didn't notice him in the front row at one of her concerts because, "I was getting super-sharp looks from J.Lo. Her ponytail distracted me... Whenever artists come to see my show, they're studying me." [Us]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger rejected the suggestion that he could pardon Roman Polanski if he's returned to the United States, saying, "It doesn't matter if you are a big-time movie actor or a big-time movie director or producer... I think that he is a very respected person, and I am a big admirer of his work. But nevertheless, I think he should be treated like everyone else." [People]
• Christoph Blocher, a former Swiss justice minister, says it would have been more fair and legal if authorities had warned Roman Polanski that he would be arrested if he entered the country. "You don't invite someone when you know he's going to be arrested," he said. "You simply don't do that." [AP]
• Last night Larry King asked Jon Gosselin how much money he was paid by TLC last year and he said "no" before explaining that the "Gosselin family" made about $1 million, half went to taxes, and the rest was divided 10 ways. Video here: [TMZ]
• A judge has increased the powers of the two men administering Michael Jackson's estate, attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain, so they can deal with the numerous creditors claims against the estate. [AP]
• Angelina Jolie met with Iraqi refugees in Syria today as part of her duties as a U.N. goodwill ambassador. "Most Iraqi refugees cannot return to Iraq in view of the severe trauma they experienced there, the uncertainty linked to the coming Iraqi elections, the security issues and the lack of basic services," said Jolie. "They will, therefore, be in need of continued support from the international community." [AP]
• Lady Gaga's choreographer Laurieann Gibson Tweeted that GaGa's tour with Kanye West was called off due to "creative differences." She didn't elaborate, but confirmed that Lady GaGa will go on her own tour. [Perez Hilton]
• Disappointing women everywhere, Russell Brand and Katy Perry hit it off at the VMAs and they spent the past week on vacation together in Thailand. [Perez Hilton]
• News sources say the package Robert Halderman gave David Letterman reportedly contained copies of parts of Letterman's former assistant's diary and personal correspondence. [People]
• Halderman has two ex wives and pays one of them about $6,000 a month in child and spousal support and $13,500 of their credit card debt. He also pays his children's medical bills and could be ordered to pay for their college education. The kids are 11 and 18. [TMZ]
• At his arraignment today Halderman pled not guilty to the felony charge of attempted grand larceny in the first degree. The D.A. said his bail should be set at $500,000 because his actions were ones of "desperation" and are "alarming and dangerous" but the judge set his bail at $200,000. [TMZ]
• Halderman's friends and co-workers at CBS were shocked by the news that he was behind the extortion plot. "Joe's a friendly, boisterous, slap-you-on-the-back kind of guy," said a former colleague. "Sort of a Vince Vaughn type, but more serious and not goofy. A guy's guy. Someone you want to have a beer with." [N.Y. Observer]
• People are angry that the audience kept laughing as David Letterman discussed the sex/extortion scandal last night, but they may have just thought it was a comedy routine. Sources on the show say no one but the producers knew what Dave was going to do so the audience got the same warm up as usual, which emphasizes laughing and applauding often and loudly. [Yahoo]
• Kim Kardashian, who was on the show after David Letterman's revelation, said, "Letterman was great. I always love doing his show – and I always have a good time with him, it was great!" [People]
• Apple and Eminem's music publisher have settled a lawsuit over the digital download rights to his songs. The terms of the deal weren't made public. [AP]
• Clark Gable's granddaughter, Kayley Gable, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night after she was found unconscious in her home. She left after a few hours and said she just had a panic attack. [TMZ]
• Comedian Paul Rodriguez is in ICU right now with severe abdominal pains but doctors don't know what's wrong with him. [TMZ]
• Consumer Product Safety Commission is recalling Paula Deen's cast iron cookware due to burn and laceration hazards. The pans were imported from China and sold on QVC. There have been 79 reports of the cookware cracking and shattering when heated. [UPI]
• Snoop Dogg had a necklace with a bullet-shaped pendant confiscated while going through airport security in Beirut. The bullet actually had an anti-war message: the diamond-studded bullet is from the charity Bullets 4 Peace, which turns bullet casings into jewelry. Snoop has already ordered a replacement. [Ok]
• Warner Bros. is developing a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory musical. Sam Mendes may direct. [Entertainment Weekly]
• "Paris Ditches Doug for the Night" ... or just managed to attend a party hosted by her sister Nicky Hilton to benefit the Step Up Women's network without her boyfriend glued to her side. [E!]
• In the new issue of Cosmopolitan Kim Kardashian says that some people think she's "famous for all the wrong reasons" but "I'm an entrepreneur...'ambitious' is my middle name." [People]

"I guess you just go through different phases in your life. I was pretty much at the point where I needed the change and I needed to focus my energy on more productive arenas. I was putting too much into my appearance and I needed to make this about growth and going to the next stage of my life. I felt like I was being distracted by something as simple as hair."

Solange reveals that it's not the first time she's cut her hair, and she's always changed her hair and gone through different phases:

I remember when I was 13 I went through my 'I-am-Miss-Natural, incense-burning, Bob Marley-playing, only-vintage-shop-wearing Solange.' So of course that included cutting my perm off, being a Vegan. I didn't quite understand yet that my hair did not define me. Then I remember being 16 and being like 'Okay, I can still be smart and I can still have the same beliefs that I have, but I did not have to have red Rasta braids. I can do that with straight hair. I can do that with a 'fro. I can do that with a weave down to my butt.'

But Solange seems to know that hair is a complicated issue — for everyone; not just black women.

"As a society we equate beauty with the images that have been placed in front of us since we were little kids. Every Disney movie, every fairy tale, every pop star typically has a certain aesthetic and look. I think that anytime we see something different, it freaks us out. The more people warmed up to it, and they saw more images of me with it and dressed up with my earrings and a little something, something on my face, I think then people were more willing to conform and accept it. Now, it's interesting how the first day I had it, I had nothing but negative, evil, cruel things in my inbox and then yesterday [after Oprah aired] I had 300,000 people saying 'Oh my God, you looked amazing, so beautiful, and you made us proud.'"

The entire interview is highly recommended: Solange spills on being a mother and about what kind of parents she has: "It's interesting that people think that my dad is the one who's all strict," she says. "They build up quite a character with that guy, and at the end of the day it's my mom who's going to give you the neck roll."

Plus, check out her response when asked "Five words to describe yourself?":

Water, blood, melanin, bones, and ... vajajay.

Solo in the City [Honey Mag]

Earlier: Solange Chops Hair, Is Called "Insane"

Oprah & Chris Rock Talk Good Hair

Actually, I was surprised at how much I ended up liking some of the stuff she had to offer. Obviously, other women did, too, because nearly the entire line is already sold out.


The fact that the line falls somewhere in between "J. Ho" and old lady pleases me.


I started to feel uncomfortable with myself when I seriously contemplated picking up the phone and ordering this belt.


But I like that she makes sensible clothes for a bunch of different body types, instead of just draping a bunch of transparent leopard prints over larger women.


However, Miss Tina is not without faults.

Todd and her mother have always bonded over food: her mom's a comfort eater, and this becomes something they share. However, as the author grows up, she begins a cycle of comfort eating and yo-yo dieting that, oddly enough, strains their relationship.

Whenever I managed to lose weight, my mother said she was happy for me. But I detected a certain tightness in her voice, or maybe it was simply that I felt guilty about abandoning her: Now that I was a thin person, we no longer shared the extra large buckets of popcorn together. It was as if I'd gotten up from the kitchen table where we'd snacked and talked intimately and left her sitting across from an empty chair. I suspect she believed that my efforts to be thin were a rejection of her, and in a way, she was right. As much as I relished the smaller sizes and all the compliments from friends, every time I refused dessert or went for a run or lifted weights, I was warding off the specter of my mother's body, fighting the fear that I'd wake up one day and discover that somehow I'd become her.

Of course, this isn't really about food. It's about love, projection, acceptance, and female relationships in microcosm. Each relationship is obviously different, but we get so much of our sense of self from our mothers that it's inevitable that it should effect our perceptions - even if it's just the example of someone completely comfortable with herself, or blessedly disinclined to mention such things. These relationships can be famously damaging, or a source of bonding and mutual support - Beyoncé and her mom recently embarked on a joint diet. And the projection goes both ways; I know I've been quick to perceived criticism in comments of my mother's that I think, in retrospect, were just reflections of my own insecurities. A mother may not influence the way you present yourself to the world sexually, but she sure does effect the pattern of your interactions with other women. And, as women, we often couch things in terms of appearance that really have nothing to do with it. "I love your dress," we may use as a mode of introduction in a social situation - something men would never do. We feel we need to comment on the physical, for whatever reason, and a lot of times, this is probablt mirrored in the family. Hortense made a really smart point:

I think mothers and daughters use weight as a means to address, perhaps, the underlying issues behind a gain or a loss. It's easier to make a comment, I guess, about your child's physical appearance ("Are you eating enough? Are you dieting again?") than to ask, "Is something bothering you?" "Are you sad?" "Are you stressed out?"

In Todd's case, the balance of emotional power shifts with their weights. When she puts on some weight and her mother loses some - leaving them the same size - her initial reaction is resentment:

Let's start with the fact that my mother now had what I did not: time to exercise and make healthy meals. I'd be able to lose weight, too, I told myself, if I were a semiretired librarian with a free nutritionist. But it was more than that. For years, I'd blamed my mother for my yo-yoing weight, or, more specifically, for teaching me to associate food with comfort.

But the fact that her mother's thrilled with the new weight, and the author is distraught, ultimately provides a "teachable moment": for the first time, Todd realizes that it's not the food that's really at issue. "After all, thinness isn't the same thing as happiness and solace isn't the same as food." Of course, she only sort of believes that - as does Self, one can't help think nowadays. The piece is still predicated on the assumption that heavy = bad, and that bad habits and depression are the same thing as "weight" when in many ways it seems like two separate issues. The two end up bonding over healthy weight loss, and in a way food - unhealthy food - is still a demon and a villain, albeit one they're vanquishing together. (After all, bonding over food is not in itself bad: it can be wonderful and natural.) But the overall point is well taken: mothers and daughters and weight are a fraught issue. It makes sense: our relationship begins with feeding; we literally derive our nourishment from our mothers. Later, they form our habits, and later still a large part of our sense of self. The operative word is just that - self. (And that's with a small "S," by the way.)

Bonding With Mom Over Comfort Foods [MSNBC via Self]
Beyoncé's Mother/Daughter Diet [Extra]

[Paris, May 5. Image via INF]

• Tyra Banks will be in court this week; she's expected to testify in the trial of her alleged stalker, Brady Green.

How weird will it be to be face-to-face with the guy? Oh, and get this: Green's lawyer's argument is that Tyra is to blame. "She invites fans that are inspired by her show to reach out to her," defense lawyer Sydney O'Hagen said in opening arguments at Green's trial. "Mr. Green was a fan, albeit perhaps an overzealous fan." Green allegedly sent flowers and love letters to Tyra, and then when an employee of her talk show refused to give him the address of the studio over the phone, Green said: "You're fucking lying, I'm going to find you and slit your throat." [NY Daily News, NY Post, AP]

• Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby, was injured in a car accident yesterday; he was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. [Breitbart]
• This report claims that Casey Aldridge has a "cracked skull." [NY Post]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding had a "spring feeling," meaning the colors were green and yellow and people drank margaritas while eating appetizers like tuna tartare and chicken salad. No one noticed the glowering specter in the corner, the one named "In The Grand Scheme These People Are Irrelevant." [People]
• Miss California, Carrie Prejean, received a "hero's welcome" when appearing at a San Diego megachurch. "'You need to apologize to the gay community. You need to not talk about your faith. This has everything to do with you representing California and saving the brand,'" Prejean recalled being told. "I was representing California. I was representing the majority of people in California." She also said: "I learned that God has a bigger crown than any man can give you." [AP]
• Clearcast, a TV company in the UK, wants to cut scenes from Keira Knightley's domestic violence ad before it is broadcast; specifically, the scenes where the actress is being thrown to the ground and kicked — the organization believes it is too violent. [Telegraph]
• The Sanskrit tattoo on Rihanna's hip is misspelled, but the tattoo artist says she wouldn't care: "It's copied off of a necklace that she got from somebody important to her," he explains. [UPI]
• Actress Vanessa A. Williams — not to be confused with Ugly Betty's Vanessa L. Williams — is using Rihanna's name on an invitation to a violence-prevention event. Rihanna is not involved with the organization, but the copy reads: "On February 8th, when famed singer Rihanna was allegedly beaten by her boyfriend, she was not alone." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle auditioned for a TV show 14 years ago, and was rejected. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie has purchased a house 200 yards from Madonna's London mansion, putting him "as close as possible" to the kids. In addition, a source says Guy laughed when he found out that her Madgesty's new man, Jesus Luz, speaks very little English, saying: "Blimey, no wonder the whole thing works so perfectly." [The Sun]
• Is Jesus Luz only getting modeling jobs because of his relationship with Madonna? [Page Six]
• This paper claims Amy Winehouse is being called the "Pied Piper Of St. Lucia," since she loves hanging out with kids. But you get the feeling that the only person calling her that is whomever wrote this story. [The Sun]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, is being sued by a former ABC Entertainment employee for sexual harassment. He's been married for 3 years after being with his wife for 14 years and the couple has 3 sons. [Daily Mail]
• Apparently two high school guys saw Kate Winslet in her workout gear and commented on her "big hot booty." [Page Six]
• "Every Friday that he's shooting a movie, Hugh Jackman comes to work with a bag full of lottery tickets. He gives them to everyone who works on his movies: co-stars, camera crews, set hands, the people who cater the food. He doesn't play." [USA Today]
• Miley Cyrus says that she and Nick Jonas are just friends and not back together — if you heard that he is her boyfriend it is just a "stupidddd rumor." She Twittered: "It makes me sad to think that people out there aren't friends with THEIR ex bf, because let me tell u it IS possible." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson performed a concert in her hometown of Chicago — her first since her mother, brother and nephew were killed there. She didn't talk about the murders but did dedicate "You Pulled Me Though" to family members in the audience. [UPI]
• Will you look at the way Tina is looking at Beyoncé? It is soooo "tired mom." [Concrete Loop]
• Speaking of Beyoncé, guess who has another hit flick? Obsessed was number one at the box office with $28 million. [MSNBC Scoop, NY Daily News]
• Surely this will come as shocking, shocking news: The ladies of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey have ties to the mob. [NY Daily News]
• If you're a dedicated fan, get your credit card ready: Various props from the newest George Clooney flick, Up In The Air, are going up for sale. [UPI]
• Kobe Bryant demanded creative control over the documentary Spike Lee filmed of the basketball star, and an insider claims "Spike completely yielded." [Page Six]
• Jon Hamm and ladyfriend Jennifer Westfeldt have formed a production company named Points West Pictures. They have 3 projects in development and all will feature at least one of the couple. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jamie Foxx has recorded a message for Nineline, a crisis helpline run by Convenant House, the agency which works with homeless kids. Says a spokesperson: "Now kids in crisis will not only hear a reassuring voice but a well-known, positive role model." [Hollywood Reporter]
• If you're interested in reading an essay about Mike Tyson written by Ice-T, click here. [The Daily Beast]
• There's tension and "cattiness" in the Pussycat Dolls; in a recent concert, Melody said: "Thank you so much for supporting me - even if I'm not featured, you know what I'm saying?" [NY Daily News]
• Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes: Back on. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Walsh's divorce is getting nasty — there's a quibble over the accounting firm Walsh is using, which her estranged husband Alex Young says is doing PR for Walsh. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe is the "12th richest young person in the UK." He's got more cash than Princes William and Harry! [Telegraph]
• If you have $27,9995,000, you can buy the Holmby Hills house of Kimberly and Hugh Hefner. [LA Times]
• Yes, yes, James Franco's student films are inspired by gay poetry. [NY Mag]
• Ugly Betty returns this week, ending the rumor that the show was cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Liam Neeson and his sons are "keeping busy with normal life" — like going to Knicks games. [People, Mirror]
• In this article, Dominic Monaghan spills on all of his travel memories. He says: "I do remember a fantastic holiday to Thailand with Billy Boyd and Orlando Bloom in my early twenties. We were all single, young and up for an adventure. We went to Bangkok then took off to the islands." [Independent]
• Curious what's up with Michael Keaton? He's directed a film, The Merry Gentlemen. And he's broken his foot. [LA Times]
• In a lengthy interview, Natasha McElhone talks about dealing with grief since the death of her husband one year ago. [Guardian]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, 61, plans to marry his girlfriend Ekaterina, 20, just as soon as he can get a "speedy" divorce from his wife, Jo, 54. [Mirror]
• Actor Campbell Scott got engaged in November, but we're just hearing about it now? Eh, congrats. [People]
• "Kylie Minogue and Richard Branson lose money but make UK rich list." [News.com.au]
• Aerosmith will perform on Maui to settle a class-action lawsuit resulting from a concert cancellation in 2007. [AP]
• "He was renowned for wearing grandpa-style spectacles but it now emerges that John Lennon's iconic look came about by accident…" [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I love her. It's great for her. It's what she wanted." — Josh Lucas on ex-girlfriend Salma Hayek getting married in Venice on Saturday. [People]
• "Tax got to 82% [in the 1970s] and I thought this was kind of unfair. Also, I see... that the government has taken it up to 50% and if it goes to 51 I will be back in America. I will not pay the Government more than I get. No way, ever. So they've reached their limit with me. That's the lot." — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I did read a scene for the Coen brothers last year, which they were amazed I would do. I was amazed they were amazed because apparently there's a whole etiquette I'm not aware of that says if you've been in a couple of films, you don't read. Which I find very strange, because how are the filmmakers supposed to know whether you can do it or not? I was very happy to read." — Tilda Swinton, when asked if she has ever auditioned for a role. [Backstage]
• "Life's a pain in the butt. You've got to be in shape for it. And the hell with the good old days. The most important thing is now. What are you this moment?" — Jack LaLanne, who still works out every day for two hours, lifting weights and swimming, at age 94. [Reuters]
• "I knew it was a joke. I knew it was supposed to be silly. Something like that I don't even take seriously. I thought it was hilarious." — Beyoncé, on the "screeching" clip made by prankster Matthew Zeghibe. [Gatecrasher]
• "I was raised in the country. When it was warm outside we were out there in shorts, no shirt, no shoes. I was doing that long before anybody was taking pictures and people like you were seeing it." — Matthew McConaughey. [Newsweek]
• "I know I've never done any independent film before…but there aren't that many other scripts out there with great parts for women my age. It's a true phenomenon that the parts dwindle as you get older. You wake up one day and you're flabbergasted to find out…so, this has happened to me. When I started out," she continues, "It was right around the time when Meryl Streep and Jessica Lange and Sally Field-all these actresses getting older-were still having big movies every year. There was a Sophie's Choice, a Norma Rae, etc. I thought, this is a new era, and I won't have to worry. It will all be fixed by the time I'm 40! And of course, it wasn't. All of us female actors think we can just keep going and going. But it's not always the case." — Geena Davis. [The Daily Beast]
• "We know so much about every actor on planet Earth. We know how they like to slice their avocado, what they named their baby. When I'm watching them save the world in a movie, I don't want to be thinking about their baby's name. I will now go on record to say I'm not going to even name my kid." — Ryan Reynolds. [NY Mag]

[New York, October 28. Image via Splash.]

• Remember the news about the new reality show in which Tyra Banks pits a group of young women against one another to compete for a job at a fashion magazine? Well, it looks like the ladymag in question is ELLE and creative director Joe Zee and fashion news director/calorie restrictor Anne Slowey are going to be judges. Having worked with these people, allow me to just say this is going to make for good television. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The Danish Fashion Institute is putting up signs throughout Copenhagen that read "Eating Is the New Black" and "The Weight of Your Worth Is Not Measured in Kilos." First person to wrangle us one gets a pony! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Victoria's Secret has named Victoria Beckham the sexiest mom of 2008. We're seriously doubtful about the credibility of this list, though, as it also named Ryan Seacrest as having the sexiest smile. [Sassybella]

• David Beckham wearing the naked Victoria Beckham Marc Jacobs shirt! [Chic Report]
• ELLE's Nina Garcia offers this following advice to the masses, "Don't be a fashion victim. Be true to yourself and get your own personal style and look." She uttered these pearls of wisdom, mind you, while shilling for the new pink Blackberry Pearl on Tuesday night. Exactly. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The fashions at Wal-Mart: Supposedly getting "cooler." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Intimates designer Josie Natori now has a ready-to-wear line. It is called (what else?) Natorious. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Imitation of Christ designer/prepster-turned-hipster/Wes Anderson main squeeze Tara Subkoff has paired with Bebe to do a capsule collection for them. Ooooh, pleaaase call it the Imitation of Christ Bebe Jesus line!! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Moschino has a new diffusion line called Love Moschino. Only it's not exactly new. It's just Moschino Jeans, renamed. Moschino Jeans, incidentally, used to be named Love Moschino. Follow? [Vogue UK]
• We do not approve of Van Cleef & Arpels and Earnest Sewn collaborating on blinged-out jeans. Ew. [Fashion Week Daily]
• For those of you always asking how you get a smoky eye, here ya go. [BellaSugar]

• The inevitable happened and TopShop gave model Agyness Deyn her own clothing line, because she dresses totally '80s and that is so edgy! [Vogue UK]
  
• Designer Yves Saint Laurent is very sick. Pray for him. [NY Post]
  
• No one can pronounce Badgley Mischka correctly, which would give us pause about the future of American civilization if half the country wasn't still saying "nuclear" wrong. [NY Post]
  
• Former Jane editor-in-chief Brandon Holley is spending her unemployment mentoring underprivileged girls and teaching them photography, which, if you'll excuse us, is just "So Brandon!" [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Oh Hova: House of Dereon does prom-wear. This would be a clothing line affiliated with Beyonce's family. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Our favorite least-favorite fashion blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe - gasp! - agrees with us. The new Louis Vuitton bags are dumb. And she points out that she only saw 3 people the whole time she was in Paris sporting their freebies: Elle editor-in-chief Roberta Myers, The Guardian's Jess-Carter Morley (who 'dat?), and Vuitton stylist Katie Grand, which we're pretty sure doesn't count. Draw your own conclusions. [Portfolio]
• Levi's profits jumped by 23.6% in the second quarter. They say it's because of low interest rates. OMG, you mean it wasn't that groundbreaking collaboration with Damien Hirst? [WWD, sub req'd]
• So our pals across the pond are doing this crazy gala performance thingy for the Prince's Trust which is matching different musicians with different fashion houses, yielding the following pairings: Lily Allen - Chanel, Alicia Keys - Armani, Joss Stone - Calvin Klein, Timbaland - Dolce & Gabbana, Shirley Bassey - Marchesa, and Iggy Pop - Versace. [Vogue UK]
• Owns Gucci, knocked up Salma Hayek, and now owns a big ol' apartment in a former "women's hotel": Francois Pinault has it all! [NY Mag]
• Preview the David Lynch-shot Gucci fragrance commercial! [Sassybella]
• The interim president of Banana Republic is going to be named as the full-time president of the company. Making him, uh, the Dick Cheney of fashion? [WSJ]

• Rachel Zoe: prepare to die. The celebrity stylist has announced herself mightier than Anna Wintour! Uh, didn't Zoe ever study Greek mythology in school? Don't taunt the gods. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane is BFFs with French president Nicolas Sarkozy?! (Might they be interested in a threesome?) [WWD, final item]
  
• Benetton profits up by 6.5%. Which we think is pretty impressive considering the last time we remember buying or knowing anyone who bought anything from the brand was the late 90's. [Uh, try eighties. Oh right, you were wearing diapers. -Moe] [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Doing even better than Benetton is Tod's, whose profits are up by 18.5% thanks to those pebble-soled shoes that are less ubiquitous but just as profitable as Tory Burch flats. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Dita von Teese: The new face of Cointreau. It's about time someone thought to make the direct connection between taking your clothes off and drinking. [Sassybella]

• Victoria Beckham had a spot of tea with ELLE's creative director Joe Zee and editor-in-chief Roberta Myers, eh? Do they want to help us get tickets for the Spice Girls reunion tour? Please? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Vogue UK calls the New York S/S 2008 collections "quietly competent." Which we think is the critical equivalent of saying that a potential suitor "has a real nice personality." [Vogue UK]
• Ralph Lauren is selling new polo shirts to fund breast cancer research. [Vogue UK]
• More fashion-oncology collabo! Marc Jacobs is the NYC Cancer Institute's honoree this year for having raised $400,000 for melanoma research. Oh and some oncologist is also being honored. [Fashion Week Daily]
• So People magazine thinks that Beyonce is one of the best-dressed celebs of 2007? Please god no one tell Tina Knowles. We just know this is going to make her even more unbearable. [People via FabSugar]

The foundation of the Baby Jamz line is an album of everyone's favorite nursery rhymes performed by Solange Knowles herself, with some backing beats that end up making the songs sound weirdly angry. Maybe it's the way that on "Hush Little Baby" the lyrics "Be quiet / Be be be quiet / Be quiet" are repeated over and over again in trope, topped off with a climatic "Don't say a word" when suddenly some backing male voices enter, turning the word "word" into an odd replacement for "boo-yah!". We are not babies, but we think these tracks would make us howl rather than lull us to sleep.

Over in "Toys" category, the clear stand-out is the "Mix Master Chair," a little red booster seat which claims to help tykes be their best DJ AMs and mix tracks all on her own. And yes, that means the chair is built-in with the aforementioned terrifying Solange-sung anthems mentioned above. There are 3 buttons that can be pushed which change the backing beats and 4 buttons that can be pushed which insert new sounds into the songs. Come to think of it, maybe this is what Samantha Ronson has been using all along!

Beyonce's family launches hip-hop toys line [ZeeNews]
Baby Jamz