timmcgraw - Jezebel

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Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
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Country Music Awards 2008: Big Hair, Sequins, & Nicole Kidman

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lydiafaye007
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
I don't know if it's just me, but I find it really ironic that hundreds of married couples are dancing down the aisle to a Chris Brown song. I mean, you're having a wedding to promise each other you will love and protect each other forever. So why would you dance down the aisle to a song by somebody who beat the crap out of his girlfriend? Doesn't that send a horrible message about what the rest of your marriage will be like?

Personally, I was horrified that they danced down the aisle to that song on the Office, and every time a Chris Brown song comes on the radio I change it because I can't allow myself to support him in any way.

And it's not because I hate him and think he doesn't deserve to ever be forgiven, but I don't think he's truly sorry for what he did. I don't think he really understands what he did, which is why he's going on Larry King and Youtube and reading off a teleprompter. I think he's sorry about the consequences for what he did, but not the act itself.
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Hiroine Protagonist
11/07/09

@lydiafaye007: Ugh, that was a Chris Brown song on the Office? What losers! #chrisbrownmtv
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blueruinelf
11/07/09

@Hiroine Protagonist: Yeah I did not know that and it just made me lose respect for the writers a little bit. Oh well, the show's going downhill anyways... #chrisbrownmtv
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leslieannelevine
11/07/09

@blueruinelf: I mean, that was a parody of a YouTube video in which a real couple danced down the aisle to that same song. I guess they could have changed the song, but it would have made the parody kind of nonexistent, or at least very confusing. #chrisbrownmtv
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broad
11/07/09

@lydiafaye007: I think he's sorry about the consequences for what he did, but not the act itself.

This. And what's even greater is that watching the Rihanna interview last night, she knows it, too. Wish I'd had that kind of self-awareness when I was her age. #chrisbrownmtv
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Dodgergirl
11/07/09

@leslieannelevine: Yeah, the point on the Office was that Jim and Pam's guests had seen this viral video and decided to recreate it. The participates in the viral video have a website, and decided to put a link to donate to a charity for domestic abuse victims up on the site-- [www.jkweddingdance.com] #chrisbrownmtv
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kung fu lola
11/07/09

@leslieannelevine: Yes. This. Also, the couple who were married in the original youtube video have a website where anyone can donate to the Sheila Wellstone Institute. The link is here. From the site: "Due to the circumstances surrounding the song in our wedding video, we have chosen the Sheila Wellstone Institute.

Sheila Wellstone was an advocate, organizer, and national champion in the effort to end domestic violence in our communities." #chrisbrownmtv
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DontFearTheReefer
11/07/09

@Hiroine Protagonist: @blueruinelf: Don't judge them too harshly! On the show, it's made clear that interrupting the service that Pam and Jim had planned to play the Chris Brown song was a move totally orchestrated by Michael. As is typical of Michael's gestures, it's totally out of touch and inappropriate. It makes the interruption way more cringe-inducing. Pam and Jim look kind of horrified and at one point I think Pam's sister says to her, "I know you had this song on your Do Not Play list," so maybe we're supposed to infer that Pam doesn't like Chris Brown and didn't want his songs played at her wedding because of the domestic violence connection. I thought the writers' choice to use the song had a lot more to do with the cultural cachet of that YouTube video than the song's creator or his behavior.
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Hiroine Protagonist promoted this comment Edited by DontFearTheReefer at 11/07/09 4:14 PM DontFearTheReefer was starred

lydiafaye007
11/07/09

@leslieannelevine: Yeah, I got that and I totally understood what they were doing. I just couldn't get over the fact that it was Chris Brown singing. About love.

I think they could have very easily done something different and had it be just as funny.

On a different note: Was it ironic that Dwight kicked the bride's maid in the face..?
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Hiroine Protagonist
11/07/09

@lydiafaye007: Absolutely. We all would have known what they were referencing if they had chosen a different song. Oh well. Blame it on Michael. That combined with his fake-suicide stunt have re-kindled the kind of loathing I felt for the Gervais character on the original. #chrisbrownmtv
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pmerrick
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
I'm kind of confused by the fact that Chris Brown is unsure how we perceive him.

Chris: we do not like you. #chrisbrownmtv
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Katxyz
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
"It's not raunchy--it's extreme" sounds like it should be on a porn DVD box in really bold, ugly font.

What a ridiculous quote. #chrisbrownmtv
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kellieherson
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Jesus Christ, Chris Brown, "it hurts" when people call you out on your behavior? Probably not as much as being on the receiving end of it. #chrisbrownmtv
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JerkoftheMonth
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
I'm going to do something unusual and stick up a little for Chris Brown here. I'm not defending him against his actions. I think he should be prosecuted for beating Rihanna.

HOWEVER, he is human and he does make mistakes. The fact that he recognises that he has made a huge mistake - one that will probably not ever be forgiven or forgotten by Rihanna or the public - is the only thing he can do now. Do you just want to condemn him as 'a beater' forever, and leave it at that? He is not allowed to participate in society at all anymore? And he doesn't need to apologise to YOU, the only person he needs to forgive him is Rihanna (if she even wants to). We can all condemn the action, but none of us have the right to condemn an individual that we have nothing to do with. #chrisbrownmtv
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Armed with Vitriol
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: Beating someone is not a "mistake". I would say it's a bit more severe than that. #chrisbrownmtv
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JerkoftheMonth
11/07/09

@Armed with Vitriol: Okay, well that's a matter of semantics. My point is that everyone here is all on their judgy high horses, and that is what actually started to piss me off. I don't like Brown and he did commit a heinous crime. But wouldn't it do more good to try to understand the motivations behind beating? A discussion about how/why men are conditioned to think that it might be okay to hit women would be much more constructive than 'Oh he's such an asshole he should go to jail forever and ever and he's such a douchey jerk.' #chrisbrownmtv
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SisterRay73
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: I agree. He admitted he made a mistake, and hopefully his and Rihanna's status in the public eye will be able to be used for some good to open up discussion on domestic violence and how to stop it. I don't think one action like that should condemn him - or anyone - for life, especially when they are trying to change and make up for it. #chrisbrownmtv
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jasmineledesma001
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: I think the reason people are so upset is that he does not seem at all sincere. There have been numerous instances of him minimizing it, acting smug, and just not seeming to get it at all. Great, if his words strike you as sincere (what is this? the fifth or sixth time has has spoken on the subject?), but I personally will continue to "condemn" him until he actually starts to explore and talk about why he did what he did.
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Dodgergirl
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: His actions were, whether he meant them to be or not, public. And his rationalization and excuse-making immediately after helped some people rationalize and make excuses for their own behavior and the behavior of those around them. He helped contribute to the minimization of this type of violence, so it really isn't just between him and Rihanna, unfortunately.

I would have more sympathy for him if it actually seemed like he was trying to look into his own heart and figure out why this happened and how he can avoid it in the future. Instead, he's just doing the old "oh, it was just that one time, I don't know what happened" thing, with a side of "why are people so mean to me?" He doesn't really seem to get it.
I don't have a problem with their being negative consequences for his image because of that. I don't think anyone is saying he "can't participate in society" anymore. Some people don't want to buy his music anymore, but no one's suggesting he be barred from employment of any kind forever. #chrisbrownmtv
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tallgirl-in-heels
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: As a few others have said, I think the problem is that Brown really doesn't seem to be taking responsibility for his actions. One hallmark of the abusive mind-set is that the victimizer tries to make himself out to be the victim. He'll beat a woman, and then apologize profusely, cry about his own abusive past (or mental illness, or drug addiction, or whatever) and make her feel like she's victimizing him further if she indicates a desire to leave. He'll play on her empathy, sympathy while at the same time denigrating her and isolating her. Most of what I've heard from Chris Brown amounts to "poor me, I made a mistake and now people want me in jail, I'm so confused, why are people treating me like this for making a mistake..." In other words, he's elevating his own perceived victimization above the victimization he forced on Rihanna when he beat her. That does not bode well, and suggests to me that Chris Brown is still a dangerous young man. That is why I am still unwilling to cut him any slack. If he said something like, "I beat my girlfriend, what I did was wrong, I understand why people are upset and disappointed, and I will do everything in my power to break this cycle" rather than, "yeah, abuse in any form is bad but I'm so confused about why some people are so angry over a mistake," then I'd feel a bit softer towards him. But he didn't, so I don't. #chrisbrownmtv
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Snickers McFlurry, Esq.
11/07/09

@jasmineledesma001: The thing is, he doesn't need to explore things with me - or the rest of the nosy public. He also doesn't need to talk about what he did to me or any media outlet who will then convey said soul searching to me. #chrisbrownmtv
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Hooplehead promoted this comment

Armed with Vitriol
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: My grandfather beat the shit out of my grandmother for 17 years. Outside of the home he would put on a "I'm such a swell guy" act, and my grandmother would always go back to him at the encouragement of friends and family. They would tell her that he wouldn't do it again and urge her to forgive him. Then he would beat her again.Abusers, including Chris Brown, all have the same M.O. 1. They don't think hitting a woman is really wrong 2. somehow the woman always "provoked" them/ the woman is at fault 3. hitting is not a "mistake" -- they hit to control and intimidate. Their actions are calculated. You want to understand his motivations, well then there you go. Please continue to feel sorry for poor Chris Brown if you must, but I refuse to. #chrisbrownmtv
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Edited by Armed with Vitriol at 11/07/09 5:40 PM Armed with Vitriol was starred

camera_obscura
11/07/09

@JerkoftheMonth: This isn't fair to Chris Brown, but he reminds me a lot of my father in his interviews... not because he beat anyone, he's not that kind of guy (not meaning he's better or worse,) but because of his tone, his body language and attitude.

You're certainly right, Brown has no reason to apologize to the public, but I see the fact that he is not as a sign of his persecution, but as a sign of his self-interest. He shouldn't do it, but he does it because he WANTS something from us, and he has to in order to get what he wants... or at least he feels that way. I just... hear the rhetoric and I have heard it before, and perhaps that is what most people are feeling: that they've heard this story from someone they loved, and this is a way to stand up to someone they've known, and Brown is sorta becoming a symbol for all the people we know that do something unbelievable and brush it off with, I'm sorry, get over it already.

Obviously I'm simplifying his reaction... but if you do something really awful, and then get caught, feel out how others are going to react, THEN try to make up for it seemingly to minimize the upheaval in your own life.... it comes off as very superficial. #chrisbrownmtv
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JerkoftheMonth
11/07/09

@Armed with Vitriol: I'm sorry your family had to experience that and that your grandmother was not more supported by her friends and family.

I'm not feeling sorry for Chris, I'm just concerned that in the easy condemnation of those who commit that kind of violence, we lose the ability to really question it's existence. What problems do we, as a society, have that make this kind of thing a fairly common experience? It's pathological, when you think about it. There are some serious questions of our concept of masculinity and power/gender roles that need to be addressed in order to really get to the bottom of domestic, let alone all other kinds of, violence. And Chris Brown is hardly to blame for the wider issues surrounding this. It would be better if he publicly acknowledged his guilt and his repentance, but let's not project all of our hatred of domestic violence on to one person. #chrisbrownmtv
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TheUptightMidwesterner
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
From your mouth to God's ears, Megan. #chrisbrownmtv
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FontWhore (the Great Nubling Hope)
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Hey Chris Brown, once you do something awful to another person, you lose the right to that story. It's hers now, and it's not up to you to say how it should be discussed. Consequences, you know. #chrisbrownmtv
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Tara Incognita
11/07/09

@FontWhore (the Great Nubling Hope): I like how you phrased that -- losing the rights to the story. Celebrities in general lose the rights to their own story (kid still use a pacifier? you're an awful parent!) but most especially in this case.

I will say, though, that I like the unequivocal stand he takes about abuse here. Much better than flexing his muscles and sneering on a waverunner. #chrisbrownmtv
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hearmeroar
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Yes, Chris Brown, I'm sure it just hurts you terribly when people (accurately) call you a woman beater. Certainly not half as much as it hurts to be the woman whose face you bashed in, you piece of shit. #chrisbrownmtv
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BetteD
11/08/09

@hearmeroar: I swear that I had the exact. same. thought. Like almost word for word! #chrisbrownmtv
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rd2uk
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
details between what happened between him and rihanna should remain private? so basically the police shouldnt have been called? his 8/9th time beating the crap out of her shouldnt have been reported?

f off chris brown. i'm one of the people who think you belong in jail. i'm also one of the people who don't want to see you do anything. im sich of looking at your smug face and listening to your nonsense. #chrisbrownmtv
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snugbug
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
"Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" is such a hilariously illogical paring of words that it makes me suspect it's a line from a Dadaist poem.

Why not "Spider-Man: Bomb the Clouds"?

"Spider-Man: Party with Tectonic Plates"?

"Spider-Man: Give the Universe Bunny Ears"? #chrisbrown
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ucelluccia
11/07/09

@snugbug: "Spider-Man: Brown the Hamburger Meat." #chrisbrownmtv
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snugbug
11/07/09

@ucelluccia: "Spider-Man: Adopt a Motherless Hot Dog" #chrisbrownmtv
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scandalouskiki
11/07/09

@snugbug: "Spider-Man: Knit a Sweater"? #chrisbrownmtv
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snugbug
11/07/09

@ucelluccia: Eh, one more, since I love word games:

"Spider-Man: Stop Chattering, Rocks, You're Keeping me Awake!" #chrisbrownmtv
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snugbug
11/07/09

@scandalouskiki: "Spider-Man: Crochet a Beer Cozy with Telegraph Poles" #chrisbrownmtv
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Scout
11/07/09

@snugbug: Oh My! the pic of this little guy is my current computer desktop.....he makes my ovaries quiver and I can't (CAN!) stand it!

I've named him Herby #chrisbrownmtv
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broad
11/07/09

@snugbug: If that weiner needs a home, I'll take him this second! #chrisbrownmtv
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Sassy Pants
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Ian McKellen is my favorite. He has such a great sense of humor about himself. Did anyone see the episode of Extras where he played himself guest teaching a drama class? "How do I act so well? The thing I do is, I pretend to be the person I am playing in the film or play." #chrisbrown
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Maritsa
11/07/09

@Sassy Pants: He and Patrick Stewart were my favorites on Extras. #chrisbrownmtv
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ucelluccia
11/07/09

@Maritsa: I would watch him and/or Patrick Stewart read the phone book. Seriously. They can do no wrong. #chrisbrownmtv
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Sassy Pants
11/07/09

@Maritsa: For the life of me I couldn't remember that episode, and then I realized the you said Patrick Stewart, not Patrick Swayze, and everything made sense again.
He was great, Kate Winslet, and Daniel Radcliff were all highlights for me. #chrisbrownmtv
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Maritsa
11/07/09

@ucelluccia: They have the most beautiful voices.

@Sassy Pants: My husband and I still use. ". . . but it's too late - I've seen everything" all the damn time! #chrisbrownmtv
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gangey
11/07/09

@Maritsa: We Netflixed Star Trek First Contact about a month ago, and used variants of that line about 347 times during the movie. And we laughed! It was grand.

"And then the Borg queen's prosthetics fall off, AND I CAN SEE EVERYTHING!" #chrisbrownmtv
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wtfox?!
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Must... not... click... Jon Gosselin... yoga... link... must... not... #chrisbrown
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RiloKilo
11/07/09

@wtfox?!: I clicked. And immediately regretted it. And then, after the shock wore off, decided to embrace it as my first hearty laugh of the day. #chrisbrown
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wtfox?!
11/07/09

@RiloKilo: AUUUUGH oh my god I did too.

I've decided to laugh and weep at the same time. #chrisbrownmtv
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cinematheques
11/07/09

@RiloKilo: I clicked, too. And as much as I wish this family would go away, I kind of needed that laugh. But after I winced, of course. #chrisbrownmtv
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Maritsa
11/07/09

@cinematheques: It's hilarious and douchey all at the same time. What a famewhore. #chrisbrownmtv
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Hooplehead
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Oh, so being sexualized as a kid is bad, right, Natalie? Unless Roman Polanski's doing it, right?

I'm tired of Chris Brown and his half-assed "apologies" and refusal to take responsibility for what he's done. Just say it, Chris: you beat a woman you claimed to love to the point where she required hospitalization. Not for the first time, either. And you'd probably still be beating her if you hadn't gotten caught. That does not make you "human" or a person with 50/5o support or someone where I care whether your feelings are hurt or not. It makes you an abusive asshole who needs to get a lot of help to deal with his many issues. #chrisbrown
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Armed with Vitriol
11/07/09

@Hooplehead: I completely agree with you. He seems immature and completely unapologetic for what he has done. He wants the abuse to remain a "private matter"? I'm sure. All abusers want to make sure they get away with abuse and come out looking good in the end. What a dick. #chrisbrown
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beatrice2000
11/07/09

@Hooplehead: Yes on the Natalie part. Given that she would have been sexualized at 13 for playing a precocious world-weary child who talks like a mature woman, I would have thought she'd have more empathy for Polanski's then-teenage victim. #chrisbrown
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Kivrin
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
Is it possible to be obsessed with Robert Pattinson and detest all things Twilight at the same time? Because I think that's happening to me. #chrisbrown
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ketamineKitty
11/07/09

@Kivrin: You're probably his ideal girl, actually. #chrisbrown
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ainsworth2
11/07/09

@Kivrin: I don't understand the Twilight mania. The books are so bad. #chrisbrownmtv
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Kivrin
11/07/09

@ainsworth2: Yeah, I understand RPatts mania, because he is pretty. Twilight mania, not so much. #chrisbrownmtv
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RiloKilo
11/07/09

In reply to Chris Brown Says "Abuse Of Any Kind Is Always Wrong," Taylor Ready To Go "100%" On Tonight's SNL
That Chris Brown quote reminds me of a scene from "The United States of Leland." When his teacher has just cheated on his wife he says to Leland, I'm only human, man," and Leland says, "It's funny how people only say that after they do something bad. I mean, you never hear someone say, 'I'm only human' after they rescue a kid from a burning building."

You didn't just "make a mistake," Chris Brown, and being "human" doesn't excuse it. #chrisbrown
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Hooplehead
11/07/09

@RiloKilo: Yes! That movie was so underrated. And that quote sums it up perfectly. #chrisbrownmtv
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